[Film projector sprockets clicking] [Problem Child] [...] [Leader countdown] [...] [Gentle music] [Problem Child] [Cheerful music] [Produced by: The American Academy of Pediatrics and made possible by] [a grant from the Pet Milk Company] [Story: James Prindle; Director: Orlando Lippert; Camera: John Niklasch] [Sound: Don Aldenderfer; Editor: Carl Himm] [Produced by: Wilding Picture Productions, Inc.] [Gentle music transitions to playful] [City traffic] [Vehicle traffic stops at office building] [Tilt upwards of building exterior] [...] [Elevator door opens] [Family exits elevator] [Sandra:] Close the door. [Arm-in-arm family walks down hallway] [Gentle music] [Husband and wife exchange glances] [Concerned look on mother's face] [Tense music] [Steve:] Thinkwe're being silly? [Ann:] Do you? [Sandra squirms] [Sandra:] A boo! [Ann looks down at daughter] [Ann:] Oh, boo yourself. Come on, Steve. Let's go. [Gentle music] [Door closes] [Receptionist:] Hello. [Ann:] Hello. [Receptionist:] May I help you? [Ann:] Yes, we have anappointment with Dr. Blanchard. [Receptionist:] Oh, yes. Oh, this is Sandra, isn't it? [Laughter] [Ann:] Yes. [Receptionist:] Hi, Sandra. [Sandra:] Hi. [Receptionist:] Oh, yes, here it is. Just a moment, I'llcall the doctor. [Ann:] Thank you. [Door opens] [Two women exit, Doctor follows] [Dr. Blanchard:] I'llsee you next month. [Speaker 1:] All right, doctor. Goodbye. [Dr. Blanchard:] Bye. [...] Hello, there. [Steve:] Hello, Doc. [Dr. Blanchard:] Just a minute. [Ann:] Certainly. [Dr. Blanchard:] Will you takecare of this, please? [Receptionist:] Yes, doctor. [Dr. Blanchard:] Well,it's good to see you. [Ann:] Thank you. [Steve:] I don't know whetherwe're wasting your time or not. [Ann:] It's about Sandra. [Dr. Blanchard:] Well, she'scertainly blooming. [Ann:] Well, we'vebeen wondering if we're doing the right things. If we're, well, you know... [Steve:] If we'respoiling her. [Ann:] Yes. We thought we'd ask you. [Dr. Blanchard:] Well, I'mvery glad you came. [Suspicious music] Who's been talking to you? [Suspicious music] [Ann:] Well, Steve'sAunt May thinks that we're... [Steve:] I don't know whatmakes Aunt May an authority. She never had any children ofher own, the old battle-axe. But it's more than that. [Thud] [Ann:] Oh, Sandra! No! [Dr. Blanchard:] Oh, that's all right. We'll stop her beforeshe gets into trouble. Let's watch her a moment,see what she does. [Sandra defiantly tossing books] [Music continues] [Thud] [...] [Ann:] Oh, Sandra. You mustn't do that, honey. No, no. Here. Here's something Iwant you to play with. Come on. Play with the blocks. Build a little house. That's it. Here. Build a house. See. [...] [Dr. Blanchard observes] [...] That's right, honey. Sit there and play. I'm sorry, doctor. [Dr. Blanchard:] That's all right. [Steve:] Well itis and it isn't. You just can't let herpull all the books out. [Dr. Blanchard:] That's right. But you see, she's forgotten. So-- let's all forget it. [Ann:] Nowyou build a house. [Dr. Blanchard:] Now let's go intomy office and talk this over. [Steve:] Nowthat's a good example of what happens all the time. Frankly, we're at a lossto know how far to go in trying to hold it down. [Ann:] She's intoeverything all the time. [Steve:] And it'sgetting her mother down. [Dr. Blanchard:] How about her father? [Steve:] Well,a little, maybe. [Dr. Blanchard:] I see. Ann, will you keep aneye on Sandra, please? [Receptionist, Ann:] Yes, doctor. [Steve:] Thank you, doctor. [Ann:] Well,doctor, does that mean she's a problem child? [Dr. Blanchard:] Oh, allchildren present problems. [...] [Steve:] Yes. I can understand that. But just how far should we goin trying to make her mind? [Dr. Blanchard:] Well, that'salways a big question. What to allow herto do or not to do. What you're concernedabout, though, is whether the wholeproblem of raising Sandra. Discipline is part of it. But you've already met andsolved a lot of problems. Now let's look backand see what they were. Then we can look aheadand see what we want and where we're going. Let's start with how youfelt about having the baby. Did you want a babyin the first place? [Ann:] Oh, yes. Well, we both did. [Dr. Blanchard:] Being wanted makes alot of difference to the baby. Were you satisfied withher when you first saw her? [Ann:] With Sandra? Oh, I just loved her themoment I held her in my arms. [Steve:] Well, Idon't know why not. That was a pretty cute baby. Say doctor, you'veseen a lot of babies. Wouldn't you say thatSandra was, well a, about the nicest babyyou've ever seen? [Dr. Blanchard:] Of course not. I've seen three nicer babies. Yours is the fourth, though. [Laughter] [Steve:] I guess we arepretty crazy about her. [Dr. Blanchard:] All right. You wanted the babyin the first place. Whatever your ideaswere, you were really satisfied with what you got. Right there, you gave her thebest start she could have. Now let's look back inour minds and see what a newborn has to start with. [Babies crying] She's very much likeher ancestors, way back before writtenhistory, [?] away, at the moment of birth,completely dependent. Her behavior is controlledby her feelings. She acts the way she feels. [Babies crying] A newborn has no control. She sometimes is a scared,demanding, compulsive, small barbarian. At other times, she's relaxed,satisfied, and complacent. If you restrain her, sheresists and yells her head off. [Baby crying] All babies have this protectivefight in them at birth. Later on, it will buildagressiveness, self-respect, and usefulness. They have the ability tograb anything and hold on for dear life. In primeval days, this wasmore important than it is now. [Baby holding on to adult's finger] Loud sounds or loss ofbalance or sense of falling will startle the newborn. They can't talk, sothey're danger signal is a good loud cry. [Baby crying loudly] It's the only way theycan protect themselves. A normal infant has hisown rhythmic pattern of sleeping and wakingand desiring food. When they awakenand cry, they're hungry and uncomfortable. Or maybe they're scaredand want fondling. There's always a reason. And it's up to us to findout why a baby cries. [Crying] Being hungry is veryuncomfortable for a baby. It can be frightening. It can make them angry. But when a hunger issatisfied, they relax. They're contented. They're little fiends forsatisfaction, if you remember. And Sandra's greatestsatisfactions came from you, her mother. They soon form thehabit of responding in terms of satisfactionand complacency instead of fear and resentment. You made her warm and welcome,giving her a sense of security. You fed her when she was hungry. You let her sleepwhen she was sleeping. You let her be herself andfollow her own natural rhythm. Growth is a wonderfullysimple process. You gave Sandra foodand physical care, and she respondedwith bodily growth. You gave her plenty ofaffection and supplied her emotional needs. And she respondedwith mental growth. You see, growthcomes from within. You can hold it back,but you can't hurry it. [Ann:] We've talkedabout that, haven't we? [Steve:] In her [?] own way. [Ann:] We've triedto let her do things when she was ready. That's all right, isn't it? [Dr. Blanchard:] That's the onlyway to build self-confidence. I see it every day. [Gentle music] Just as each baby is anindividual, large or small, full of vitalityor fairly passive, each has his own precisesequence of growth. Each normal baby starts withall he needs to build the habits and the confidencethat means success and happiness along the way. [Music] You can't talk to a newbornbaby, not with adult words, anymore than you can expecthim to have adult standards. But talk to himthrough his feelings. You'll fondle himas much as he wants. Feed him. Make him warm and comfortable. And he'll do the most wonderfulthing in the world, he'll grow. Watching a child growup is fascinating. [Babies crying in a hospital nursery] Nurses are substitute mothers. If you double the numberof nurses in the nursery, you cut the amount offear and crying in half. It's that simple. [Content baby held by nurse] It takes a lot oflove, just as it takes a lot of food andexercise and feeling before a baby can doanything by himself, before he can smileand show his pleasure. Sandra tried to nursethe day she was born. And right there, she passedher first intelligence test. In a few weeks, she was smiling. She was happy. Then the seriousproblems began for you. Remember how you worriedbecause you didn't feed your baby on the clock? [Ann's feeding schedule] You fed her when she was hungry. And she developed aregular schedule all right. But it was her own,not what somebody else thought it should be. [Sandra crying in crib] Remember, you asked meabout picking Sandra up. You weren't sure whetheryour instincts were right. [Ann:] She didn't cry a lot. Anyway, I couldn't resist her. I just had to pick her up. [Dr. Blanchard:] There is nothingwrong in being kind to a baby. The best kind ofsecurity for a baby comes from a motherwho needs the baby as badly as the baby needs her. You gave your baby as muchaffection as she wanted. And she wasn't over-demanding. She grew normally. By six months, you canbegin to see big changes. The helpless little baby thatstarted with eating, sleeping, eliminating, fondling, andthe satisfactions of growth has become more mature. Not adult or adolescent,but able to respond, to smile, to tryto talk and sit up. She works at her play andbuilds habits of progress. And she's learning success. And so are you. [Music fades out] What so many peopledon't realize is that babies have to be babiesbefore they can be children. And children before theycan be men and women. You have to setstandards of behavior that aren't too old for them. [Steve:] Youknow, Ann, I think a lot of the fancyfree advice we got came from people who wantedSandra to be their age instead of her own. [Ann:] Sometimes Ithink it's kind of funny how everybody triesto tell parents what to do about children. [Dr. Blanchard:] Andnobody tells babies what to do about parents. [Laughter] That's right. One problem follows another. Take toilet habits, for example. [Laundry blowing in wind] [Ann potty-training Sandra] You worried aboutwhether she'd ever get control of her elimination. You didn't start untilshe was over a year old and then not too vigorously. [Sandra grunting] [Ann:] That's a girl. Oh, are you a good girl! [Sandra squealing] [Dr. Blanchard:] Children acceptthese responsibilities when they're ready,when they want to. And they actually get a lotof satisfaction out of it. They have so much to learn. But take feeding. You started giving her sipsfrom a spoon around 5 months. And then one day, she wasready to master that problem. She ignored the bottle andstarted to drink from a cup. [Ann:] That's right. She was about 15 months. [Dr. Blanchard:] Yes, some do ita little earlier, or later. It doesn't matter. Of course, she spilled. But you made it fun to learn. She was doing a grandjob for her age. And that's the point. She was ready tolearn to feed herself. And in a few months,she did learn. [Ann:] Oh, she wasdetermined to feed herself. [Dr. Blanchard:] Well, that's the wayshe builds up her independence. [Sandra playing with her food] [Sandra utilizing spoon to feed herself] [Music] [Steve on floor playing with Sandra] [Steve:] See? Set them like that. [Dr. Blanchard:] It's hard to allow her to learn to do things for herself. You want to do it for her, Naturally, but thereis no other way. And there is so much to learn. Motor coordination, for instance,for instance, how to use her hands, doing things like thisgives her a chance to develop self-confidence. At first, she couldonly hold a block. Then by trial and error, shecould pile up a few of them, knock them down, pile up again. It was fun for both of you. And Sandra'semotional expressions were spontaneousand uncontrolled. [Steve:] Knock them over. Go on. [Laughter] [Sandra:] Knock-um down. [Cheerful music] [Dr. Blanchard:] Now she has masteredher fundamental health habits. And she's full of energy,just acting her age. It's all part of growth. She wants a lot ofattention and approval. But she can play byherself for short periods. She thinks it's fun to makenoise and get attention. A two-year-old isbursting with curiosity. [Sandra:] [?] [Dr. Blanchard:] She's a veryself-centered, busy little child. Developing hersense of humor. She has fun doingthe very things that are essential for furthergrowth and self-reliance. [Sandra:] Bye. [Dr. Blanchard:] Most of the time,she does things she can do. Sometimes she does thethings you can't let her do. The discipline problem comes up. [Rattling] [Thud] [Steve:] Sandra! You know better than toplay with those things. How many times havemother and I told you to leave those things alone? Now here. Let them alone. Just let them sit. [Ann:] Oh, Steve. Not like that. Come here, Sandra. Come here. See? Isn't that pretty? [Sandra:] Yeah. [Ann:] What color is it? [Sandra:] Blue? [Ann:] Blue. Now you hold it. That's a girl. Now put it on the table. That's it. Now you want to read your book? [Sandra:] Yeah. OK. [Ann:] All right. Let's put them down. That's a girl. Now let's find the cookiesin the book, should we? [Sandra:] Yeah. [Ann:] Come on. Sit on Mommy's lap. [Dr. Blanchard:] It takesunderstanding and patience. But you'll handle it. Not with anger and fear,but with understanding. You can force achild to do things, but force always means fear. If you frighten achild too many times, he'll form thehabit of responding with fear for the rest of hislife and build up resentments and a sense of guilt. That'sthe stuff nervous breakdowns and failures are made of. [Steve:] Whenthey're so little, it's hard to think thatsomeday they'll be grown ups. [Ann:] But we can't letSandra do everything she wants. [Dr. Blanchard:] Course not. Oh, she'd probablybreak a few things. You have to expecther to be her age. All the abilities thatsprouted in her first year are keeping her busy now. She's growing physically,mentally, and emotionally all the time. [Ann:] I know. But-- oh, dear. [Dr. Blanchard:] Yes, I know. But look here. Oh, and you must remember,when Sandra was born, she was completelydependent on you two, especially you, her mother. At first, she couldn'tsee you very clearly or understand a word you said. And she was scaredat times, too. But you made her feelwanted and accepted. You gave her an opportunity togrow, to grow in her own way and at her own pace. [Doctor walks to baby photo on wall] [...] You feed them, care forthem, and love them. And they respond by wigglingand kicking and other physiologic processes. They're growing all the time. [Doctor moves to another photo on wall] Encouraged and feelingsecure, and begin to respond in a different way. Their first voluntarysocial response-- [Doctor moves to another photo on wall] a smile. Now they're goinglike steam engines. They're learning to do alot of different things. And they want totell you about it. [Doctor moves to another photo on wall] They're curious aboutconcrete objects. Everything they see and touch. They have to learnby trial and error. And they work at their play. [Doctor moves to another photo on wall] Then they sit up. And pretty soon,they want to walk. [Doctor moves to another photo on wall] All these steps inlearning are fun. They know they'refunny. Which is their wayof proving that they're normal,happy children. [Doctor moves to another photo on wall] Then one day they canwalk, like this lad. And then they'reinto everything. [Doctor moves to another photo on wall] And when they'reready, they begin to learn to feed themselves. Their coordination improves. Self-confidence, growth, andlearning-- [Doctor moves to another photo on wall] come from within. The learningprocess is lifelong. Yes, they make mistakes. Sometimes just to get attention. Then there's this look,that impish gleam.. They are doingsomething they know they're not supposed to do. They're aggressive, confident. But the big thing toremember is that they, this little fellowand your daughter, are more important than books. [Doctor returns to desk] After all, she didn'thurt any of them. Let her go on developingher capabilities according to her own needs and passion. We can't change that. But we can becareful not to expect her to live up to standardsthat are too old for her. Now here's something Ithink will interest you. Here are two babies. They look a lot alike. Both were born perfectlynormal healthy children within a few hoursof each other. Now-- today, one's a successful,happily married man. And the other can't hold a job. He's full of irrationalfears, mentally ill. Before we go anyfurther into it, what do we thinkmade this difference? [Steve:] Well,something happened to this one, the failure. [Ann:] Somethinghappened to both of them. [Dr. Blanchard:] Both were bornwith the same qualities. Both were aggressive, active,curious, alert, healthy children. Both grew physically. Both grew mentally. But this one was unwanted. His parents triedto make him live up to impossibly high standards. He was one of those too polite,poker faced little boys. He was sick a lot, becamefrightened, resentful, and depressed with asense of inferiority. The other child grew up withthe qualities he started with. He grew up in his own pattern. And step by step,as he was ready, he built his self-confidence. He had a sense of security. He was capable. With these qualities, helearned to manage himself. And today, he's a mature,happy, successful man. [Doctor puts album back in desk] It isn't easy. It takes a lot of patienceand understanding. You have to remember that you'reprotecting those qualities they're born with. You're providing thesecurity and the opportunity for them to grow. And growth alwaysgoes on in terms of what each individualis capable of doing at that particular time. It goes on to senility,unless something stops it. You can't change Sandra'sinnate characteristics. But you can do a lot toease the inevitable tensions and emotional crises. I know she's not alwayseasy to get along with. [Laughter] But you'll just haveto grow with her. You've done a good job so far. You know where you're going. So let's take herproblems up one at a time as they come along andhelp her solve them. She will. [Steve:] Well, I feel better. Don't you, Ann? [Ann:] Oh, yes. But I wish normalchildren weren't quite so active and curiousand aggressive and, well, quite so normal. [Laughter] [Music fades in] [Dr. Blanchard:] I wonderif you really do? [Ann:] Oh, no. I wouldn't change her foranything in the world. [Doctor walks couple to office door] [Door opens] [Music] [Footsteps] [Ann:] Ah! Little stranger. [?] [Sandra:] Can we go? I wanna go outside. [Ann:] OK. Oh, my goodness. [Sandra:] [?] [Ann:] Yeah. Now say bye to the doctor. [Sandra:] Bye bye. [Ann:] Bye. [Steve:] Bye, doctor. [Music] [The End] [A Wilding Production] [...] [Music fades out] [...]