FAMILY GUIDE 
-TO- 
HEALTH AND HAPPINESS, 
BEING A 
CnmplEtE and ComprEhensive Instructor 
and GuidE to the Married and thosE 
ContEmplating Marriags. 
A GUIDE FOR SELECTING PARTNERS FOR LIFE, 
AND GIVING HAPPY RESULTS. 
-ALSO- 
SHOWING HOW SEX MAY BE CONTROLLED. 
W. W. WEBSTER,' 
AUThOR AND PUBLISHER. 
ZDIXOUST, ILL.: 
1883. THE FAMILY GUIDE 
TO 
HEALTH AND HAPPINESS, 
BEING A 
COMPLETE AND COMPREHENSIVE INSTRUCTOR AND 
GUIDE TO THE MARRIED AND THOSE 
CONTEMPLATING MARRIAGE. 
A GUIDE FOR SELECTING PARTNERS FOR LIFE 
AND GIVING HAPPY RESULTS, 
ALSO 
SHOWING HOW SEX MAY BE CONTROLLED. 
W. W. WEBSTER, 
AUTHOR AND PUBLISHER, 
DIXOX, ILL., 
1883. Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1882, by 
W. YV. WEBSTER, 
In the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington, D. C. 
All Rights Reserved. PREFACE. 
Unfortunately for those in search of the information which 
has been furnished in this volume, advantage has been tak- 
en of them by the publication of a large number of books of 
various kinds, size and prices, purporting to contain all the 
information that could be required, while, in fact, they 
were 'simply advertising mediums whereby cheap public- 
ity could be given to effect sales of some mechanical con- 
trivance, medical nostrum, or some other article of question- 
able propriety. Publishers and book-sellers have time-and- 
again been called on to furnish a book of this kind. And it 
is undoubtedly true that most, if not all of them, have often 
regretted the necessity which has compelled them to furnish 
publications which their judgment condemned, because no 
such work as was wanted could be found. 
These facts have induced me to have this volume publish- 
ed, and placed within the reach of everyone, so far as cir- 
cumstances render the matter practicable, and in such a 
manner as to be alike easy of comprehension and free from 
objection. 
To readers of this volume, male and female, jt is especial- 
ly said that the object and purpose in the preparation of this 
book, it has been the desire to provide them with something 
through which they may be enabled to gain some useful in- 
formation upon subjects which will prove useful and bene- 
ficial to them. 
It should be remembered that readers must not expect 
that by a mere reading of this book without giving it their 4 
PREFACE. 
thought, that they can attain a useful knowledge of its con- 
tents, for it is not by such thoughtless reading that the hu 
man mind receives and reflects facts and particulars; but if 
they will read with care, they will find that the book con- 
tains but few useless words. 
In the preparation of this work it was not the intention to 
satisfy the morbid and inquisitive curiosity of anyone, but 
to provide the information for which an extended necessity 
is well knowm to exist. 
Publisher HUSBAND AND WIFE. 
The most sacred relation of human life is that of wife and 
husband. Wife and husband stand for more than father 
and mother or parents and children, because their blended 
life is the fountain from which all these relations spring, 
and changing the mere man and woman into these sacred 
names makes that a glory which is otherwise a shame. Ac- 
cording to the bible, it is a relation as old as our human his- 
tory, counting that history as you know the bible does 
count it, from the time when man ceased to be a mere wild 
wanderer, and began to plant things and dress himself, and 
came to the knowledge of good and evil and began to be 
aware of the presence of God in his life. In the beginning 
the Divine power made the man and woman and set them 
on the throne of the world and gave them the grace to be- 
come husband and wife and to find in each other the coun- 
terpart and completion of their own being and the true con- 
dition through which Ave people the world forever with new 
life. So, while the creation, over which man was given 6 
HUSBAND AND "WIFE. 
dominion, followed its special instinct, sought its lair or 
made its nests, brought forth their young, and before anoth- 
er spring knew them no more for their own than if the}' were 
on another continent. This husband and wife made them- 
selves, reared a family and were steadfast to them—not for a 
few months, but for a lifetime; sent them out to do as they 
had done, but still counted them as their children, born of 
their body and intimately one with the old homestead. This 
human race has never evened itself, touching its offspring, 
with the beasts that perish. In the grossest savagery mar- 
riage, as a rule, is as rude and brutal as possible. As we 
rise in the scale of life it takes a nobler and better form, and 
on the summit of life it is a sacrament, the truest sacrament 
I know of, and the surest, if we take it unworthily, to living 
damnation. The man and woman in a true marriage become 
husband and wife because their Creator made them for each 
other, just as he made Adam for Eve, and Eve for Adam, in 
the garden. I say the true match is the rule, and in the vast 
majority of instances those who come to be husband and 
wife were made to be husband and wife. Yes, and very 
often in the face of our sins and follies, and not at all by our 
discerning, the great sacred gift is given which makes a 
heaven for us when we would make perdition for ourselves. 
To believe, as some do, that disappointment and misery 
come of most marriages, is very much like believing that in 
this world the devil has dominion over most souls. But we 
find that, somehow, there is better with the worse, as there 
is worse with the better. It is not possible for a man and 
woman, when they marry, to make sure they are to be true 
husband and wife at the risk of the usual pains and penalties; 
that ought not to be deemed unreasonable. Is it not possi- 
ble to make this beautiful law of our life—the true and safe HUSBAND AND WIFE. 
law—that for the man there is a woman, and for the woman 
a man, who will be true counterparts, and that they shall 
know this in some true way, or else they shall net marry; 
because without such titness of each for the other, the license 
and the minister’s blessing will be a mere farce, if it be not a 
very dark tragedy! I cannot but believe there is such a 
safeguard; a true light about this, as there is about justice 
and honor and honesty, and that we can hardly go wrong, 
if we ourselves are honest and honorable and fair about this 
most essential step in our whole human life. When mar- 
riage brings misery, as a rule, we can trust it is not by God’s 
providence, but by our own improvidence. 
Great trouble comes out of the mistake Which has always 
been made .and I suppose, which always will be) that the at- 
traction which ends in marriage may be an outer rather than 
inner fitness; so that an attractive face and form, though 
there be no answering soul, shall count for more than the 
finest graces of mind and soul. So one, it may be, marries a 
doll and the other a dolt, to find in no long time they have 
made a mistake a lifetime cannot unmake. There is no in- 
timate and ultimate fitness in a fancy man and woman to 
make them husband and wife, except a certain fitness of 
mind, heart and character, or the loving longing out of 
which this may come. A perfect and complete marriage is, 
perhaps, as rare as perfect personal beauty. Men and wo- 
men are married fractionally, now a small fraction, then a 
large fraction. Very few are married totally, and they, on- 
ly, I think, after some forty or fifty years of gradual ap- 
proach and experiment. Such a large and sweet fruit is a 
complete marriage, that it needs a very long summer to ripen 
in, and then a long winter to mellow and season. But, a 
real happy marriage of love and judgment between a noble 8 
HUSBAND AND WIFE. 
man and woman is one of the things so very handsome that 
if the sun were as the Greek poets fabled, a god, he might 
stop the world in order to feast his eyes with such a specta- 
cle. WHO SHOULD MARRY WHO. 
Very fleshy persons should not marry those equally fleshy. 
A spare man is better adapted to a fleshy woman than a 
fleshy man to a spare woman 
On no account ever marry one of your own make. 
The color of the eyes is a very important matter. 
Blue eyes should never marry one with blue eyes, but al- 
ways with some other color. The same may be said of gray, 
and also of hazel, etc. 
Men having red whiskers should marry brunettes, but 
never blondes. Those who are of a dark complexion should 
never marry those who are light in proportion with them- 
selves. Those possessing bright red hair should marry those 
of jet black. The more red-faced the maD, the more cool 
and quiet his wife should be. 
A man having but little hair on his head or face should 
marry a woman with a bountiful supply of hair. 
Those who are moderately supplied may marry those eqal 
ly supplied. 
Those being prominent featured should not marry those 
similarly featured. Those who are cool should unite with 
those who are impulsive. Small nervous men should not 
unite with small nervous women. 10 
WHO SHOULD MARRY WHO. 
Two beautiful persons seldom marry each other, neither do 
two who are very homely. 
It is singular, nevertheless true, that very liandsom women 
seldom marry good looking men. The homlier the man the 
handsomer wife he wants. 
A bouy, muscular and strongly marked outline, should 
marry a smooth, round, plump form. 
They who move or speak rapidly should marry the calm 
and deliberate. The medium should marry those who are 
calm, or those who are impulsive. 
Women who inherit their looks, or stature, from their fath- 
ers. should marry those men who have a strong resemblance 
to their mothers. 
Character is indicated by the nose. A person with a ro- 
man nose should unite with a person whose nose has a turn 
up, and the pug nose should.be united to a turn-down nose. 
Straight noses may marry any other kind they prefer. 
Narrow nostrils indicate small lungs and should marry 
broad nostrils, which indicate large lungs. 
Those having long faces should marry short faces. Slim 
and thin faces should marry round and full faces. Animal 
vigor, which is indicated by a heavy lower jaw, should marry 
a light jaw. A person having a projecting face, resembling 
a full moon, should marry a sraight profile Two persons 
having very fine, soft hair and skin should not unite; neither 
those who are equally rough and coarse. A person of aver- 
age hair or skin may marry either coarse or fine. Curls 
should never marry curls—unless of African decent—but 
rather that hair which lies so straight and smooth that it 
shines Wavy hair will do to unite with straight or curl. 
When all other characteristics are all right, one should not 
be rejected on account of one of the minor ones. WHO SHOULD MARKY WHO. 
A white man should not marry a squaw, or an American 
lady of African descent. 
A bigoted Christian should not marry a bigoted heathen. 
Turks should marry Turks, Catholics should marry Catho- 
lics, Chinese should marry Chinese, Christians should mar- 
ry Christians, but they must be sure to wed those of a simi- 
lar stripe. It is just so in principles governing similar and 
dissimilar political views. 
A violent northerner should not marry an intense souther- 
ner—unless they can ignore their faith—for the more discus- 
sions they would have the more antagonistic they would 
become. 
A man who loves to command should not marry a woman’s 
rights woman, if he does, he will soon find his domicil too 
warm to be pleasant. NEWLY MARRIED COUPLES. 
tt is the happiest and most virtuous state of society in 
which the husband and wife set out together, and with per- 
fect sympathy of soul, graduate all their expenses, plans, cal- 
culations and desires with reference to their present means 
and to their future and common interest. 
Nothing delights man more than to enter the neat little ten- 
ement of the young people, who, within perhaps twTo or 
three years, without any resources but their own knowledge 
of industry, have joined heart and hand, and engaged to 
share together the responsibilities, duties, interests, trials and 
pleasures of life, The industrious wife is cheerfully em- 
ploying her hands in domestic duties, putting her house in 
order or mending her husband’s clothes, or preparing dinner, 
while perhaps the little darling sits prattling on the floor or 
lies sleeping in the cradle, and everything seems preparing to 
welcome the happiest of husbands and the best of fathers 
when he shall come home from his toil to enjoy the sweets 
of his little paradise. 
This is true domestic pleasure. Health) contentment, love, 
abundance and bright prospects are all here. But it has be* 
come a prevalent sentiment that a man must acquire his for- 
tune before he marries; that the wife must have no sympathy NEWLY MARRIED COUPLES. 
nor share with him in the pursuit of it—in which most 
of the pleasures truly consist—and the young married peo- 
ple must set out with as large and expensive establishment as 
is becoming those who have been wedded for twenty years. 
This is very unhappy; it fills the community with bachelors, 
who are waiting to make their fortunes, endangering virtue, 
promoting vice; it destroys the true economy and design of 
the domestic institution, and it promotes inefficiency among 
females who are expecting to be taken up by fortune and 
passively sustained without any care or concern on their part, 
and thus may a wife become, as a gentleman once remarked, 
not a “helpmate” but a “helpeat.” 
This short prayer from the Italian may find responsive 
minds in any clime: 
“I pray that I may never be married; but if I marry, I pray 
that I may not be deceived; but if I am deceived, I pray that 
I may not know of it; but if I know of it, I pray that I may 
be able to laugh at the whole affair.” 
THE ITALIAN PRAYER. ADVICE TO YOUNG HUSBANDS. 
Tlie Rev. 0 C. Goss, during a lecture in New York on 
“ The Honeymoon, and how to Perpetuate,” said: “Look 
out for your habits, young man. Don’t get into the habit of 
neglecting the little courtesies of life in your home. Just 
see the young men in the bob-tail horse-car sit forward on the 
edge of the seat, and when a prettj7 young woman enters the 
car they watch for the first chance to put her fare into the 
box. Why don’t you watch just as eagerly to wait on your 
wife? Again, my young husband, you and your wife must 
cultivate mutual confidence. Distrust of each other is the 
bane of human society everywhere Of course you and 
your wife ought to hold different opinions. I was forty years 
old before I married my wife, and I knew a thing or two be- 
fore I knew her. When we were married we did not empty 
our brains and become fools. When she comes to vote I 
want her to vote on the opposite side to me, because if she 
votes just as I do, what’s the use of her voting? She might 
have just as well voted through me as we do now. But 
don’t fight Husbands and wives do fight and bite and claw 
each other, and pull each other’s hair, and all about a little 
thing that they would be ashamed of if they hadn’t got 
heated. Cultivate the habit of cooling down. Finally be ADVICE TO YOUNG HUSBANDS. 
15 
upright with your wife, young husband. You ought to be 
honest in your courtship; but if you have had an outside for 
your girl to look at, and you have all the time kept a bit and 
bridle on your passions only to be a brute after marriage, 
then you have deceived her. Be as innocent to your wife as 
though she wras a little baby. You wouldn’t hurt a babjr. 
Stand up for your wife, if anyone says anything against her 
knock him down I’ll take it back—you can knock him 
down in your own estimation.” 
Never both be angry at once. 
Nevei taunt with a past mistake. 
Let a kiss be the prelude to a rebuke. 
Let self-abnegation be the habit of both. 
Never allow a request to be repeated. 
“I forgot” is never an acceptable excuse. 
if you must criticise let it be done, lovingly 
Make marriage a matter of moral judgment. 
Never make a remark at the expense of the other. 
Give your warmest sympathies for each others trials. 
Never talk at one another, either alone or in company. 
If one is angry, let the other part the lips only for a kiss. 
Neglect the whole world beside rather than one another. 
Never speak loud to another unless the house is on fire. 
Let each strive to yield oftenest to the wishes of the other. 
Always leave home with loving words for they may be 
your last. HUSBANDS. 
Why are wives what they are, and not what they might, 
could and should be? Because in nine cases in ten it is for 
want of temper and judgment in the man. We have all 
heard of the cautious individual who would see his wife’s 
grandmother before he took the irrevocable vow. He was 
quite right. A man desiring to enjoy the delights and con- 
solations unknown to a single comlition, prepared to love 
and cherish under all calamities and changes, would do well, 
if possible, to learn a little of the early training of the w o- 
man he desires to make a partner of his joys and the con- 
soler of his sorrows, and to have some knowledge of her in 
a domestic relation. 
It seems hard in this, our day, to find the medium be- 
tween the fashionable wife, all frivolty, dress and excite- 
ment, and the female virtuoso, or the woman without tact; 
but there are women, of many of wrhom it may be truly said 
in scripture language: “ The heart of her husband doth 
surely trust in her.” How often are these women linked to 
the vicious and unstable, are obliged to shut their eyes to 
facts, and, when love is gone, live on enduring? Marriage 
to them has been a desperate thing, a curse and slavery, in- 
stead of the nearest approach to perfect happiness permitted 
on earth.. HUSBANDS. 
17 
Of the drunken ruffian, quick with blow, we have nothing 
to say—he is scarcely one remove from the beasts that per- 
ish, and, as a rule, belongs to the extreme lower class; but 
among the so-called gentlemen there is the over-bearing ty- 
ranical husband, at whose voice children and servants flee, 
soured, probably, by difficulties in his business or profes- 
sion, but surlily keeping his trials from his wife, and snap- 
pishly resenting all her attempts to win his confidence. 
Who, so capable as she to soothe and to aid by her wo- 
manly tact and discrinination, made keener by its consen- 
tration in her little world-home; and have w7e not sacred 
warrant that the wife is a helpmeet for the man, not a slave 
to minister to his material wants only, while he grudgingly 
doles out his money, never dreaming that the order in his 
house is only arrived at by a thousand little domestic cares, 
so heavy in the total, yet a labor of love when lightened by 
kind husbandly interest. The man acts as if he were devoid 
of affection himself and grossly presumes on his wife’s 
early inculcated sense of duty. 
Then we have the hen-pecked husband. Now the cen- 
sorious world contemptuously laughs at his name and dis- 
cusses the anxious, irritable wife; it never troubles itself to 
consider the weak, vacilliating man he must necessarily be 
in his safest condition. He is a never-ceasing anxiety to his 
-wife, who knows he must either be a fool or a scoundrel. 
She toils early and late with brain and fingers to rectify his 
sins of omission. Her pitiful tenderness must always fol- 
low him and hold his wavering mind in check lest his selfish 
folly should bring more trouble into the household impov- 
erished by his careless indifference, leaving his wife to fight 
the battle of life single-handed. He is only amiable when 
gratified, loving when spared a difficulty, giving a few flat- 18 
HUSBANDS. 
tering words of praise at his wife’s clever management— 
more painful than pleasing for she knows their value—ill- 
tempered if forced to do anything he dislikes, and coarse in 
his taunts about nagging and bickering. If she is righte- 
ously and sternly compelled to give ugly names to his pro- 
crastination, he will ocassionally cry peccavi, thereby firm- 
ly believing he has washed out all his sins, and may begin 
them again on the morrow. With such a man a wife cannot 
take the inferior attitude which all womanly woman really 
delights in. 
Then last, but not least, we have the salt of the earth— 
great and gifted, tender and true men, whose lives are spent 
in making good and strong resolutions, which they seldom 
fail to carry out. A husband from this class is at peace with 
himself; therefore gives joy to others, bringing home light 
and comfort at all times and under all circumstances. Self- 
governed, he justly exercises rule over his wife, whose hap- 
piness it is to anticipate his wishes and acknowledge his 
supremacy. 
Excepting a few in whom the taint of moral baseness is 
hereditary, men know full well that woman, through their 
strong affections, are what men make them. 
It is also want of faith in man that makes woman unjust 
to each other, preventing the friendship there might be 
between them so sacred and helpful. A GOOD WIFE, 
Of all the blessings in this world, there is nothing equal 
to a good wife, she is wisdom, strength and courage to her 
husband; a bad one is confusion, weakness and despair. 
No position is hopeless to a man where the wife possesses 
firmness, decision and economy. 
No spirit can long endure bad influence. Man is strong 
but his heart is not adamant He needs a tranquil mind, 
and especially if he is an intelligent man, with a whole 
head, he needs its moral force in the conflict of life. To 
recover his composure, home must be a place of peace and 
comfort. There his soul renews its strength and goes with 
renewed vigor to encounter the labor and troubles of life. 
But if at home he finds no rest, and is there met with bad 
temper, jealousy and gloom, assailed with complaints and 
censures, hope vanishes and he sinks into despair. A good 
wife is the greatest earthly blessing. A man is what his 
wife makes him, in many cases, but in some cases men are 
so intolerable mean that their wives can not do anything 
wi th them. WHY SOME PEOPLE ARE POOR. 
Silver spoons are used to scrape kettles; Coffee, tea, pep- 
per and spices are left to stand open and loose their strength. 
Potatoes in the cellar grow, and the sprouts are not removed 
until they grow worthless. Brooms are never hung up, and 
are soon spoiled. Nice handled knives are thrown into hot 
water. The flour is sifted in a wastful manner, and the bread 
pan is left with the dough sticking to it. Clothes are left on 
the line to be whipped to pieces in the wind. Tubs and bar- 
rels are left in the sun to dry and fall apart. Dry fruits are 
not taken care of in season, and become wormy. Rags, pa- 
per and strings are thrown into the fire. Pork spoils for 
want of salt, and beef because the brine wants scalding. 
Bits of meat, vegetables, bread and cold puddings are thrown 
away when they might be warmed, steamed and served as 
good as new; and in this way I might go on from one thing 
to another, but these things alone are enough to keep any 
family poor. MAN WITHOUT OFFSPRING. 
Man, without offspring, is but the mere incident of his spe- 
cies. He is like the spark that is blown from the burning 
mass, and in a moment is extinct and forgotton. One mo- 
ment he may exhibit a point of brilliancy, but the next mo- 
ment he is gone forever, and that point is lost in the dark- 
ness of night. 
Let man, without offspring, look through the telescope of 
time upon the wide-spread glory of the world in coming ages; 
let him, in imagination, read the history of a score of rising 
generations, and what will be there to make him rejoice that 
he ever had existence? Will he be able to appropriate any 
of that glory to himself ? Will any of those countless multi- 
tudes trace back to him a proud lineage ? Can he exult in the 
idea, that some of his own blood mingles with theirs? By no 
means. 
A man with offspring may indulge the thought, that in a 
few centuries, the blood of a majority of the inhabitants con- 
stituting a great empire may be a part and parcel of his own; 
that the greatest statesmen and generals may trace back to 
him an unbroken linage. May not a man then, on first be- 
coming parent, look with a dignified complacence on himself 
never before imagined? What motive for a life of toil, if 22 
MAN WITHOUT OFFSPRING. 
there is no one after him to take possession of his wealth? 
The affectionate prattle and joyous glee of his children will 
oftentimes make the fond father forget his toils and give him 
new energy while encountering the frowns of adversity. 
There is a magic power in the carresses of a group of young 
children. If there is aught in the retrospect of our own 
shadowy life, that we shall remember when on its last verge, 
it will he the infant nestlings and the paternal watchings 
therewith, of little ones, now grown to man’s estate. TO CHOOSE A'PARTNER. 
Many in choosing a partner are not careful enough in their 
choice. In the choice of a partner, where the intention is to 
have offspring, there should be some forethought. “Like 
produces like:” “like parents, like children.” Large par- 
ents, as a general rule, produce large children; small parents, 
small children; scrofulous parent, scrofulous children; gifted 
parents, gifted offspring; indolent parents, indolent progeny. 
A well matched couple for matrimonial happiness, and to 
produce long-lived and healthy children, should be healthy 
themselves, and there should be a proper dissimilarity in 
temperament and mental conformation. 
As a general rule opposites are inclined to meet in matri- 
mony, the dark choosing the fairer, the courageous the tim- 
id, the corpulant the leaner, the tall usually select the shorter. 
Similarities usually give rise to unhappiness. 
Where the wife and husband are both of a fiery temperament 
they usually fan a blaze that will part them asunder. Neith- 
er will recognize in the other the ideal of beauty where there 
is a similarity of body and mind. 
There should always be a dissimilarity in the married pair. 
It is almost universally the case, that there will be no chil- 
dren born, where the parties are constitutionally the same. 24 
TO CHOOSE A PARTNER. 
Should there be any born they will be almost certain to be 
idiotic, or have softening or distortion of bones. 
It is universally the case, that where the parents are con- 
stitutionally similar to the extent of one-lialf, their children 
almost invariably die before arriving at seven years of age. 
When parents are very nearly alike, but their temperaments 
differ in part, their children may live to adult age, but then 
they will be very likely to die of consumption. This is why 
it is that sometimes -whole families die, when they arrive at 
the age of twenty-one or twenty two; sometimes lingering to 
the age of twenty-seven. 
When parents are alike in temperament, only differing in 
constitution, the probability is that the major part of their 
children will be still-born, it is not likely that any will live 
to be two years old. 
When one parent is of good vitality, and the other of good 
vitality, but with a nervous melancholy disposition, their 
children, as a general rule, will be very promising. 
When the desire is to produce smart and healthy children, 
it is necessary that one of the parents should be of a sangu- 
ine-bilious temper, and be possessed of good vitality, the 
other parent should be of a quiet lymphatic mind. 
In selecting a partner, the first thing to consider is health, 
the second is temperament. 
The temperament is to be viewed as a true guide to happi- 
ness. If you wish smart, intelligent and healthy offspring, 
you must select a partner with a defl'erent temper from that 
wThich you are possessed with. 
A woman may have a hundred faults, such as lazy, ignor- 
ant, slovenly, and have no regard for her personal appear- 
ance, but, if she has got good health, such errors may be in 
time overcome by a proper management. Should her health TO CHOOSE A PARTNER. 
25 
be shattered then it’s “good by Katie.” Shattered health is 
so seldom repaired that it will not do to tie to. 
A man may be adicted to some of the bad habits and prac- 
tices, to which the male kind are liable to be addicted, yet 
there is a probability that those habits may be reformed, or 
at least corrected to some extent, by judicious management. 
But in old chronic cases, where the constitution is shattered, 
health destroyed, the sytem full of disease, such a man is a 
goner; it is best to pass him by, he is past repairing. 
We think there is nothing on this earth that can befall a 
man that is worse than to be so unfortunate as to be tied to 
a feeble and ever-complaining, and continually whimsical 
wife. 
The greatest misfortune that can befall a woman is a poor, 
good-for-nothing, sickly, debilitated husband. It is very 
often the case that she has enough to do to take care of her- 
self, without having him as a dead-weiglit on her hands, it 
is usually the case, that such a man will leave a number of 
children. It is an old saying that you can tell a man’s pov- 
erty by the number of dogs he keeps; in a great many cases 
that can be applied to children. 
la taking a partner for better or worse, is a great leap in 
the dark; it is a leap wherein the hopes and expectations 
have been dashed to pieces a great many trimes. 
In some countries it is the custom to marry for a year and 
a day, at the end of that time, they are at liberty to depart 
in peace, each going their own way. But if they continue 
to live together longer than one year there is no possible 
chance to get a bill of divorce, they are fast for life. PROPER AGE FOR MARRIAGE. 
The proper age for marriage can not always be determined 
by the number of years the individual has lived, some being 
fully as much developed at fourteen or fifteen as others are 
at seventeen or eighteen The law, of course, fixes a defi- 
nite period for each sex, as it is requisit to do, but nature 
makes many variations The ancient Greeks fixed the peri- 
od of marriage very late, from an idea that it would ensure 
more vigorous offspring. Some of their law-givers assigned 
thirty years for the female and thirty-five to forty for the 
male; but others decreased this extreme period five or eight 
years, still leaving it, however, very advanced. The ancient 
Germans, according to Tacitus, never allowed young per- 
sons to marry, but compelled the strictest celibacy in the 
male until five ami twenty, and in the female till twenty- 
one. This rule, we are assured, was never infringed, and 
they believed that the children were more strong, healthy, 
and long-lived in consequence. At those times, perhaps, 
when none of the artificial excitants of civilization existed, 
and when all lived almost from the mother’s arms, in the 
constant practice of laborious muscular exertions, wdth 
coarse food and thin clothing, 'this contineuce might be 
practicable, but is certainly not now. PROPER AGE FOR MARRIAGE. 
In other parts of the world, where the habits and social 
condition of the people are different, we find the opposite 
extreme; marriage often taking place between mere chil- 
dren, and females twelve years old becoming mothers. 
Both extremes are undoubtedly lustful; the too early marri- 
age being, however, undoubtedly the worst, both for par- 
ents and children. 
A female who delays marriage till after twenty-eight is 
liable to many uterine derangements, and runs more risk 
during childbirth than even at a very early age. Perhaps 
it may be said with propriety, that it is better for a female 
to marry before she is twenty-four, and not till she has 
turned fifteen at least, or better still, sixteen or seventeen. 
The medium age of eighteen being esteemed the most desir- 
able by experienced physiologists. Much, however, will de- 
pend, as before stated, upon the development of the system 
and upon the inclination. Mothers ought to be able to tell 
whether the development is such, in every respect, as to make 
marriage allowable or not, and it should be their duty to as- 
certain such an important fact. There is often great suffer- 
ing, both of body and mind from neglect in this way. 
The proper age for the male is from twenty to twenty-five. 
It is true he is capable of becoming a father at a much earli- 
er age, but it is not at all advantageous for him to be so, be- 
cause previous to that time the vital energy is all required 
to complete the growth of the semen without injury. It is 
an undoubted fact that in most young men, previous to sev- 
enteen or eighteen years of age, the Seminal Animacules are 
so very small, and often imperfect, which shows that though 
they may impregnate, yet it is not probable that perfect 
offspring will result from them. There is, however, a differ- 28 
PROPER AGE FOR MARRIAGE. 
ence among males as there is among females, though it is 
not perhaps so great as a general rule. 
ADVANTAGE OF TEMPORARY SEPARATION. 
It is an undoubted fact that a short absence, or partial 
separation, occassionally, tends to increase marital pleasures 
and to make them endure longer. It also makes conception 
more likely, as the organ acts more energetically after a 
period of repose, and when stimulated by a short restraint. 
Many eminent men are said to have been conceived after a 
separation of this kind, and their genius has been attributed 
to the greater vigor experienced under such circumstances. 
It is said, for instance, that Sir Isaac Newton's father had 
been absent at sea for a long time previous to his being con- 
ceived, and that both his father and mother had 
desired their meeting after this irksome separation This 
has often been acted upon with happy results, and 1 have no 
doubt of its being well worthy of attention practically. 
On the same principle some authors contend that it is ad- 
visable to leave at least three years between every two births, 
and they claim that it is better for both mother and child . 
It has even been advanced as an argument why females 
should know how to prevent conception, because it is 
thought that a small number of children wdll be more heal- 
thy, at the same time that the mother would be less weak- 
ened. 
There may be many little peculiarities of organization, 
at d many conditions of the Genital Organs, especially in 
females, that may make the first association not only difficult 
and painful, but even seriously hurtful. An imperforate 
or very strong Hymen, or a relatively small Vagina, a par- 
tial closure of the Lips, or an irritable condition of the parts 
PRECAUTIONS AT TIME OF MARRIAGE. PROPER AGE FOR MARRIAGE. 
29 
generally, may be mentioned among others, and both parties 
ought, at such a time at least, to know that such impede- 
ments occasionally exist. In most of these cases a little 
care and gentleness may obviate both pain and difficulty, 
while a want of it may create lasting trouble and dissatis- 
faction. 
If all young persons, of both sexes, have perused this 
book, these minor difficulties will be easily overcome in 
every instance, and even more serious impediments would 
be so well understood, that they would neither alarm nor 
disgust, as they now too often do. In all cases, however, 
the existence of impediments of this kind should be known 
to mothers, or, if they are not suffic ently informed, and sus 
pect them, the advice of a medical man should be sought. 
It appears to me that no young person should enter mar- 
riage totally ignorant of its duties and liabilities; and com- 
mon humanity—to say nothing of prudence—imperative de- 
mands that no young female should be condemned to that 
ordeal, till it is known that she is physically fitted for it. 
There are many instances of the terrible consequence result- 
ing from a neglect of this necessary precaution. 
Different countries have different laws in regard to the mar- 
iageable age. In these United States, the legal age is eigh- 
teen for the female and twenty-one for the male. In the 
European country there are different laws: as in Austria, 
fourteen } ears for both sexes; in Hungary, Catholic, males 
fourteen, females twelve; Protestant, males eighteen, fe- 
males fifteen; Russia, males eigt teen, females sixteen; Tui- 
ky, no legal limit; Italy, nudes eighteen, females fifteen; 
Prussia, males eignteen, females fourteen; Fiance and Bel- 
gium, males eighteen, females fifteen; Greece, males four- 
teen, females twelve; Spain, males fourteen, females twelve. 30 
PROPER AGE FOR MARRIAGE. 
In Switzerland it varies according to the cantons: males 
from fourteen to twenty, and females from twelve to seven- 
teen years. 
We think that the American laws are the more sensible 
and wholesome of any law now in existence. GENERATION IN GENERAL. 
In treating upon the specialties of marriage it is requisite 
to explain the philosophy and physiology of generation in 
general, both in man and other beings. 
The manner in which reproduction is effected is the same 
in all kind of beings, both animal and vegetable, at least in 
the general plan; though there may be variations in unim- 
portant details The general plan is this: there is provided, 
in connection with the physicial systems of all beings, two 
peculiar substances which are called the sexual principles, 
or the male and female principles, the union of which, under 
certain circumstances, results in the growth of a new being, 
but neither of them alone has any power of development 
whatever. These two principles, in some form or other 
universally exists, though under various conditions, and are 
always united, though in many different ways. Thus in 
those beings with which we are most familiar, as our own 
kind for instance, the two principles are always disunited, or 
placed in separate individuals, whom we call, in consequence 
male and female—the male forming what is called the sperm, 
semen or seed, and the female forming the ovum or egg, 
which are the two rudiments of all living beings whatever. 
In some of the inferior classes, however, an opposite arrange- GENERATION IN GEM.RAI,. 
ment exists, the two principles being united in each individ- 
ual, which is, therefore, both male and female, or more prop- 
erly, Hermaphrodites. Examples of this arrangement are 
found in the common earth •worm, the leach, and in many 
insects and moluscous animals. Some of these are so per- 
fect Hermaphrodite that they can connect with themselves 
and bring forth their own eggs or young without the con- 
currence of any other individal; but otiiers, as the leech, for 
instance, though they have both principles and both sets of 
organs, yet have them so disposed in the body that they can- 
not effect self-impregnation. There must, therefore, always 
be a union of two of these individuals, but each performs the 
double act, being impregnated by the other and impregnat- 
ing it in return. In the leech and earth-worm, the double 
union, at two distinct points may often be observed. 
In all the more perfectly oi’ganized beings there is no such 
thing as hermaplirodism, but in the inferior ones refered to 
it is the natural arrangement, and no other is ever seen. 
Where the separate arrangement prevails, there are many 
singular variations, both in the disposition of the principles 
and also in the manner in which their union is effected. 
Thus, in most fishes, which are very interiorly organized, 
there is no act of sexual union, the female depositing the 
ovum, or egg, in the water and the male being directed by a 
peculiar instinct, to deposit his semen upon them, or so that 
it will reach them, so that they are united without the male 
and female being required to come in contact. In some few 
fishes there is, it is true, a kind of imperfect connection, but, 
generally, there is not even that. In birds, on the contrary, 
who are a stage higher in the scale of organization, the two 
individuals always connect, though very imperfectly, and the 
two principles are thus united, or, in other words, the egg is GENERATION IN GENERAL. 
impregnated within the body of the female. Here, therefore, 
we have internal impregnation, while in the first it was exter- 
nal. But even in the bird the egg is expelled from the body 
after its impregnation, to be developed, so that, though the 
impregnation is internal, yet the development is external. 
They are, therefore, called Oviparous, or egg-producing. 
In all of the more perfect beings, on the contrary, as in our 
species for instance, not only are the two principles united 
within the body of the female, but after their union they re- 
main and develop there into the new being, so that we have 
both internal impregnation and internal develpment also. 
Such beings are, therefore, called Viuiparous, because they 
bring forth their young alive instead of the egg merely. 
Under all these circumstances, however, the process is es- 
sentially the same. There are always the two principles, the 
male semen and the female Ovum or egg, and their union in 
what is called the act of impregnation, must always occur 
before the new being can commence to develop ; but the im- 
pregnation and development may be either internal or exter- 
nal. 
In some beings there is a union of the two modes, the egg 
being hatched while it is passing from the body, so that the 
young being is really born alive, though it is produced from 
the egg as it is externally in the birds. These are, therefore, 
called Oviviparous, to denote the union of the two modes. 
There are others, again, in whom the young is formed in- 
ternally, as in the more perfect being, but expelled before its 
development is perfected, and it has, therefore, to be perma- 
nently attached to the body for awhile externally, till suffi- 
ciently grown, to live independently. These are called Mar- 
supial Animals, because the imperfect being is placed in a 
kind of pouch or pocket, adjoining the teats, to which the GENERATION IN GENERAL. 
young are fastened when first expelled. The Oppossum is 
an example of the Marsupial animals, which evidently con- 
nect the Viviparous writh those that are below them. 
From this general sketch it will be readily seen what or- 
gans are really essential to the generative system in both sex- 
es. in the female there must of necessity be an organ to 
produce the Ova or egg, and which is called the Ovary, or 
egg producer. This, in fact, constitutes a female, though all 
the other parts, usually found in that sex, should be absent, 
and with out it no individual can be female, though all the 
other parts should be present. 
There are also usually found certain accessory organs, by 
which the egg is either conveyed out of the body when ripe, 
or by which the male semen is conveyed to effect its impreg- 
nation. In those, also that bring forth young alive, there is 
another organ, pecular to the Viviparous animals, which is 
called the Uterus, or Womb. This is a hollow organ into 
wThich the egg is passed when fully ripe, and in which it un- 
dergoes its complete development after impregnation. 
There are also certain organs of minor importance, which 
connect the Uterus with the Ovary, and by means of which 
the egg is conveyed from the one to the other. 
In the Marsupial animals, the Uterus is imperfect, so that 
the young cannot undergo their full development therein, 
which is the reason why they are expelled and perfected ex- 
ternally. 
In the male system the essential organ is, of course, that 
which producss the male principle or Semen: it is called the 
Testicle. In connection with this, there are also other or- 
gans of minor importance for the transmission and direction 
of the fecundating fluid. All these accessory parts, however, 
may he absent, and yet the body be truly male ; if the Tes- 35 
GENERATION IN GENERAL. 
tide is present, but without that all the others do not make 
it so. No being among the superior classes has ever yet been 
found possessing both the Ovary and the Testicle, so perfect 
as for both to perform their special functions, although, in 
some of the inferior orders, as before shown, such an organ- 
ization always exists. 
In the human being, both male and female, we find, of 
course, the most perfect and complicated form of Sexual Or- 
ganization, the details of which will now be readily under- 
stood. TO HAVE THE OFFSPRING RESEMBLE EITHER PARENT 
The question is often asked, “can the male give color, 
form, features, and a general appearance to himself?” A 
number of intelligent breeders of birds have long thought 
that the male bird could give color, and even form by fre- 
quent connection. Dr Delfraysse, of Cohors, in France, was 
the first who recorded any special observation of this kind 
He discovered that the first connection merely gave life, that 
it merely impregnated the egaand that it was after connec- 
tions that imparted the color of the male to the young. And 
the more frequent the after connection the more resemblence 
to the male. 
Some persons claim that this resemblance to the male is 
caused by the imagination of the female. But to illustrate 
that this is not always the case, we will mention a case of a 
hen that was blind, to show that sight is not necessary A 
hen that had been blind during the whole of her laying 
period The chickens produced from her eggs invariably re- 
sembled the male in proportion to the number of times of 
connection, or association. 
Some years ago an experiment was tried with two heifers, 
when put to the male they were both blindforded, one hav- 
ing several connections with the male, and she brought forth TO HAVE THE OFFSPRING RESEMBLE EITHER PARENT. 
a calf resembling the male in many particulars. The other 
heifer, also blindfolded, but having only one connection, 
brought forth a calf resembling both parents, but mostly the 
mother. 
We are not disposed to deny the influence of the imagina- 
tion in all cases. 
In making observations in the human being it is o f course 
more difficult but not impossible When we come to our 
own species, it is not so much in the color of the skin that 
the after connection is made manifest, as in the expressions 
of the features, it is very often the case that the color of the 
father’s skin is imparted, whether light or dark. It is usually 
the case that certain propensities, habits and notions of 
thought of the father are imparted in this way. Persons 
who have observed these things say that the child invariably 
resemble the father in proportion to the frequency of the as- 
sociation after conception has taken place. 
The resemblance most easily imparted is that of the body, 
and the color and expression of the eyes and the color of the 
hair. 
Many married persons have acted upon this theory to 
produce certain characters in their children, and they have 
had success. This may be of great service to some married 
persons, as it gives them a certain power over their offspring. 
And in this way they may be enabled to impart certain char- 
acter which is de.'ired, and prevent the transmission of char- 
acter not desired. Let it be remembered that this has noth- 
ing to do with the sex of the child 
Before endeavoring to give character, it would be well to 
observe the sex, that is to learn what the sex will be, which 
may be learned in another part of this work. Without know- 
ing the sex, the wrong character may be given which would 38 
TO HAVE THE OFFSPKING RESEMBLE EITHER PARENT. 
not be desirable. When all of these theories are properly 
understood, I have no doubt that not only the sex, but also 
the character and disposition, and color of hair, and eyes 
may be given to the child before birth. 
This may seem strange to some who have never given this 
subject much thought. But those who have given this 
considerable thought, will not be surprised at such a state- 
ment. TO PRODUCE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. 
After Fecundation the new being remains for nine months 
connected with the mother, and its development within her 
body is as much a natural function of her organization as is 
digestion or the Circulation of the blood Now, both of these 
functions, in common with all others, are well known to be 
affected bj" moral causes to a great extent, which alone would 
make it probable that Gestation is also. 
Thus, grief, joy, or fright, will often prevent Digestion 
entirely, and so derange the action of the heart that the cir- 
culation will entirely cease, as in faintmg. 
There is every reason to presume, therefore, that the emo- 
tions can also influence Foetal development and modify the 
new being, both in body and mind. And no doubt the mor- 
al temperment and bodily condition of many human beings 
are thus in a great measure determind before their birth. 
In connection with this subject it is most important to bear 
in mind that the child must be formed entirely from the 
mother’s blood. Excepting the male Animalcule, which 
forms no part of the general organization, there is not an 
atom of its material that can come from any other source. 
The condition of the mother’s blood, therefore, is of great 
consequence to its future well being, for if that be infected 
or diseased, the body formed from it must be so likewise. 40 
TO PRODUCE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. 
Now, it is well known that the state, and even the compo- 
sition of the blood is very much effected by the state of the 
mind and by the emotion experienced In despondency and 
grief the blood is imperfectly formed, being thin and watery, 
and it circulates sluggishly through the heart. 
On the contrary, joy makes the circulation brisk and nutri- 
tion perfect, so that the blood is rich and pure, while anger 
makes it boil through the veins and changes its very compo- 
sition. 
In fever it is well known the blood is so altered that when 
drawn from the body it speedily putrifies, and it is almost 
the same during a violent fit of rage. 
It is not bodily disease only, therefore, that can change the 
quality of the blood, but also the state of the mind and feel- 
ings, which must be capable, therefore, of affecting the child 
through the medium of the blood. Now, wffien we reflect 
how sensitive females usually are during Gestation, and how 
many causes annoy and disturb them, it is readily per- 
ceived that their offspring must of necessity be much under 
their moral influence, or in other words be affected through 
the imagination. This influence is exerted in a general way, 
and not for the production of merely local effects, like marks. 
That a child is affected in the womb of the mother, through 
the influences apparently connected with objects by which she 
is surrounded, appears to have been well known in ancient 
days. It has been assumed, but with what degree of truth it 
would be difficult to determine, that a knowledge somewhat 
corresponding in character to this was possessed by Jacob, 
and inspired the contract with Laban by which he so greatly 
augmented his hire. 
Many evidences are found in ancient history, especially 
among the more refined nations, showing that certain expe- 41 
TO PRODUCE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. 
dients were resorted to by which their females, during the 
period of utero-gestation, were surrounded by the superior 
refinements of the age, with the hope of thus making upon 
them impressions which should have the effect of communi- 
cating certain desired qualties to the offspring. 
For this reason apartments were adorned with statuary and 
paintings, and special pains were taken not only to con- 
vey favorable impressions, but also to guard against udfav- 
orable ones being made upon the mind of the pregnant wo- 
man. 
It is deeply suggestive to the reflective mind, to contem- 
plate the fact that when a female is pregnant with a female 
child there are three generations at the same time. There is 
the mother, the child in her womb, and within its body the 
rudiments of the Ovaries from which, if it ever become a 
mother, its children will be formed. Who does not see from 
this bow true it is that the physical sins, at least of the par- 
ents, are visited both upon the children and the children’s 
children. There are conditions which no doubt can in this 
■way effect both the child, which is forming, and also its fu- 
ture children, and those conditions may originate from the 
imagination. 
It is also well known that singular appearances, and even 
deformities in the offspring are often attributed to sudden 
emotions or peculiar impressions which at this time serious- 
ly affect the female. Hence it is given as a fact, that through 
impressions made upon the mind of the expectant mother, 
the beauty and perfection of the offspring may, to some ex- 
tent at least, be secured. Therefore, it is urged that during 
the period of utero-gestation, especial pains should be taken 
to render the life of the female as harmonious as possible, 
that, her surrounding should all be of a nature calculated to 42 
TO PRODUCE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. 
inspire the mind with thoughts of physical and mental beau- 
ties and perfections, and that she should be guarded against 
all influences of whatever character having a deteriorating 
tendency. 
It is true that there has not yet been discovered any ner- 
vous communication between the mother and child, but this 
by no means proves that the emotions of the mother cannot 
influence her offspring. The blood itself is regarded by 
many physiologist as being truly living, and this certainly 
is connected in both ; but whether it be living or not, it is 
certainly the material from which both are formed, and there 
is no question as to the effects of emotions. THE MOTHER’S CHARGE. 
After the conception of the child it becomes the peculiar 
charge of the mother. She must direct her liveliest ener- 
gies toward its proper care. She should listen to beautiful 
music and attune her soul to its strains. She should walk 
daily in the open air, aud with every breath inhale life to her 
child. She should avoid the society of the frivolous; the 
irreligious and the false. Her dress should be easy and sim- 
ple. She should continually strive toward the practical ac- 
complishments of her highest ideas, that her child may not 
lack that wholesome stamina which is the backbone of 
character. Let all these conditions be fulfilled, and woman 
may meet her hour of suffering with confidence and hope ; 
and both parents, in children pure, wise, strong and loving, 
will reap rich reward for their comprehensive forethought 
and affectionate toils. 
It is not currying this subject too far to say that if any 
trade or profession seems particularly desirable, the genius 
for success in that line may be given to the child by proper 
effort before its birth. A mother whose mind persistently 
dwells upon any chosen subject during the nine months of 
gestation will surely see in her offspring the mark of her 
thought. Beauty of person, strength of mind, sweetness of 
disposition and holy aspirations may be insured to posterity 
by parents wise and loving enough to fulfill the laws which 
lead to the desired results. MOTHERS’ MARKS. 
It is quite common to observe on the skin of newborn in- 
fants certain brown, red, blue or black marks, that are gen- 
erally supposed to have been produced by the mother hav- 
ing longed for something while pregnant. 
These marks vary much in their form, size and appearance, 
and are usually of such a character that a little stretch of 
the imagination may easily make them resemble anything. 
There are but few females, if any, wThO do not long for 
something during their pregnancy, and if this cause could 
produce such marks, but few children would be without 
them, but on the contiary they are very scarce. It is usually 
the case that when one of these marks is discovered upon an 
infant the mother begins to think of something that she wish- 
ed for, and then she easily sees what the mark is like, but 
it is usually that others have to be told before they can see 
a resemblance. Sometimes one of these marks will be taken 
for half-dozen different things by as many different people. 
The cause of the mothers’ marks is a disease of the skin 
•which produces an alteration in its texture, generally they 
are of little consequence, and usually remain stationary 
through life. Asa general rule it is best to let them remain 
for it is seldom that success attends any attempt to remove mothers’ marks. 
45 
them. The effects of an operation being more likely to dis- 
figure and injure than otheawise, it is often that the disfig- 
urement is woise than the mark itself. There is one kind 
r\hich differs from all other, and which requires attention. 
This kind presents the appearance of little red worts with 
flattened tops, they are connected to the skin by small necks, 
and are full of small blood-vessels These are caused by 
obstructions in the small vessels under the skin, which 
makes the blood accumulate in minute tumors. These usu- 
ally continue to glow, and very frequently to ulcerate, and 
terminate in serious consequences ; they should be by all 
means removed They ere easily removed by tying a silken 
string round them, so as to gradually strangle them off, or 
they may be removed by the use of a sharp knife. In many 
cases they may be successfully destroyed by simply washing 
them with alum water, thej' are sometimes removed by keep- 
ing a silver coin pressed flat upon them for some time. 
Sometimes it is quite amusing to learn of the fears that 
some people have of causing these marks. This fear has 
sometimes been acted upon for particular purposes. Not 
many years ago there was an account published of a lady 
who had a longing for a carriage and horses ; she made her 
husband believe that their child would be marked if her de- 
sire was not gratified—she being pregnant at the time. I 
have never yet learned of a female who announced before 
th e birth of her child what the mark would be like. And 
yet if she knew about the longing she ought to be able to tell 
what it would resemble. Tut after the mark is seen then its 
resemblance is sought for. And then of course something 
can be thought of that may at least be supposed to be like it. 
If their longing could do what some people suppose them 
capable of, there would be very few children without marks 46 
MOTHEKS’ MARKS. 
of some kind or other, for nearly all women experience some 
of these imperious desires. It should also be borne in mind 
—if the imagination can exert such power over the child as 
to cause deformity, it can also equally cause beauty, or give 
any particular feature, or sex, but this seems not to be the 
case. A female may long for a son, but she cannot be cer- 
tain that her child will be a son, merely by her longing for 
one Nor by her longing can she give color to the hair, for 
who ever heard of a woman longing for red hair. 
If the mother could have this power over her child we 
would have none but beauties born. But unfortunately for 
fond mothers this gratification cannot be, and this fact alone 
proves that the imagination is not as some peo- 
ple suppose it to be. 
We believe that longing, or imagination, never raaked a 
child But, we do know of several children who were mark- 
ed by the mother. Some years ago there was a family living 
near here, and one of the sons cut one of his feet with an ax. 
His mother did up the wound and soon after the family 
were seated at the table, one of the children saw that the 
foot was bleeding and called the mother’s attention to it. 
The mother on seeing the blood was frightened, and placed 
her elbow on the table and rested her head on her hand, the 
lingers being on her nose and across one eye—she being 
pregnant at the time. When the child was born it had the 
mark of bloody fingers across its nose and eye 
I also know of a lady wlio'was frightened at a small snake, 
and she put her hand to her head, and a mark of a small 
snike on the child’s head at the edge of the hair, wTas the 
result as appeared after the birth of the child where the 
mother had touched herself. We are acquainted with a 
family where the husband kissed his wife, to plague her, he mothers’ marks, 
47 
having his mouth full of chewed tobacco. It made the wife 
angry, and she drew a hand across her mouth. She marked 
her child with brown streaks across the mouth and cheek. 
W e once heard tell of a lady who longed for strawberries. 
She went to the strawberry patch, hut not finding any, it 
caused her to be angry, and she gave herself a slap And 
when the child was born, it had the mark of a strawberry at 
the place where the mother had slapped herself. We be- 
lieve where a woman is angry or frightened that, by touch- 
ing herself, she can mark her child. TO TELL THE SEX NINE MONTHS BEFORE THE BIRTH. 
This is a mystery a great many learned people have tried 
to solve. A great many think it is governed by the age of 
the parents. I have now before me a book written some 
years ago by a learned doctor of New York. His writipg is 
a fair sample of that kind of thinkers. lie says : 
“ When the fathers are younger than the mothers, there 
will be born ninety boys to one hundred girls, and very 
nearly the same when they are of equal age. When, how- 
ever, the fathers are from one to six years old' r than the 
mothers, there will be born one hundred and three boys to 
one hundred girls; and wrhen the fathers are from nine to 
eighteen years 1he oldest, the number of boys will be one 
hundred and forty to one hundred girls ; but if they be more 
than eighteen years older, the number of boys will be two 
hundred to the hundred girls 
In the same way, just in proportion as the mothers are the 
oldest, the numoer of girls will predominate; till, when 
lheyr are from eighteen to twenty years older than the man, 
there will be twice as many girls as boys. It may, of course, 
happen that this tule may not hold good in many single 
families that may be noticed, but it will always do so where 
the average is taken of a large number, and the chances are, 
of course, in the same ratio in every instance. Thus, in 
every case where the father is over eighteen years older than 
the mother, it is two chances to one that the child will be 
a boy, and in three hundred such births there would be just 
two hundred males to one hundred females; while, if the 
mother be so much the older, the ch nces and results will be 
just the same the other way. The relative age, therefore, 
has a most potent influence over the sexual formation.” TO TELL THE SEX NINE MONTHS BEFORE THE BIRTH. 
49 
I believe we are safe iu saying there is not any truth in all 
that nonsense, for that is the way it looks to me. He 
further says : “ But still there are evidently other agencies, 
because it does not operate in every individual case, and we 
must therefore endeavor to discover what those other agen 
cies are.” He admits it will not hold good in individual 
cases, that is true, and for that very reason I think there is 
nothing reliable in that theory. I have now a family iu my 
mind where the husband was a number of years older than 
the wife. They had three sons. They afterwards had two 
daughters Now I would like to know whether the father 
got younger or the mother got older than her husband ?• 
We know a family where the husband is twelve years older 
than his wife. They have a large family of children, and 
they are about equally divided in sex, We could, iu this 
way, mention a great many families. I thiuk almost any < ne 
can see, if they will but think for a few moments, .that age 
has nothing to do in regulating the sexes. He also says: 
“If a boy is desired, the father should be older than the 
mother—say, at least, five years.” Now we know a family 
where the mother was about that much older than the 
father, and they desired a girl; but they had a boy, all the 
same. My readers can put all the faith in this theory they 
wish. 
I have a book in my possession recently written by a cele- 
brated writer ; hear ye him. He says, under the heading of 
“ Producing the sexes at will ” : 
“ This has been the subject of mu h fruitless study and 
investigation among physiologists, and different means have, 
in all ages, been credited with being more or less effectual 
in determining the sex of offspring; but, generally, if they 
possessed any virtue at all, they were attended by so many 
failures that they became practically worthless. More re- 
cent investigations, however, have established a degree of 50 
TO TELL THE SEX NINE MONTHS BEFORE THE BIRTH. 
certainty which places the sex of children very much uuder 
the control of the parents. The manner in which the sex 
may be thus controlled is given as follows : It has long been 
known that queen bees lay female eggs first and male last ; 
and the same is known to be true of the hen, and is probably 
the case with all fowls. Mares, too, shown the male late in 
heat, have male foal, and vice versa. M. Thury, professor 
in the Academy of Science, at Geneva, Switzerland, taking 
advantage of these known facts, has shown how the sexes, 
either in man or brute, may be produced at pleasure; and 
his plan has been so extensively tested in Europe, especially 
in the growing of stock, as no longer to admit of the least 
doubt as to its correctness. His experiments have estab- 
lished the following cause for the production of the sexes 
at will : In all viviparous females, both human and brute, 
there is a period of ' heat,' recurring more or less frequently, 
according to the nature of the creature; and if the female 
be exposed during the early part of this period, the product, 
if any, will be female ; but if in the latter or last part of it, 
it will be male. 
In the brute, this period of heat, or time of fecundation, 
is short, not usually lasting more than three or four days; 
but in the human species it usually occupies nearly one- 
half of each menstrual month—that is, not only the actual 
period of purgation, but about ten days subsequent to the 
close of' that event; and to produce the sexes at will, it is 
only necessary that the female should be exposed early or 
late, as the parties may desire the sex.” 
At first thought, this seems like a very plausable story, 
but I do not believe it. I have tested it, and found it a fail- 
ure. A rule that fails once will not do to bet on, I am per- 
sonally acquainted with a man that, as soon as his cow's are 
in rut, he drives them to where a male animal is kept—not 
having one of his own. Among the calves there are as 
many male as female calves. I know of several men who 
allow the male animal to remain in the pasture along with 
the cows. Those men tell me that they have as many male 
calves as female. Now this rule is not correct, or the male 
and female do a good deal of standing around after the 
female is in rut. It is my private1, opinion, publicly ex- 
pressed, that a rule that fails in one instance is not a correct 
rule to go by. TO TELL THE SEX NINE MONTHS BEFORE THE BIRTH. 
51 
Perhaps some one will say: “You have told us what 
others say is not correct; tell us what you think about that 
little affair.” I will endeavor to tell what I think about it, 
and at the same time prove that I am right. 
I have now before me the Book of Books, one that was 
translated by King James’ translators : 
Third chapter of Genesis, sixteenth verse—“Unto tho 
woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy 
conception ; iu sorrow thou shalt bring forth children ; and 
thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over 
thee.” 
Now it will be seen right here that the Lord has made 
Adam a ruler over his wife—or, in a common phrase, he has 
given him the right to wear the breeches. 
Fourth chapter, first verse.—“And Adam knew Eve, his 
wife ; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have 
gotten a man from the Lord ” 
Second. — “And she again bare his brother Abel.” 
Twenty-fifth—“ And knew his wife again; and she bare 
a son, and called his name Seth.” 
Fifth chapter, fourth verse.—“And the days of Adam 
after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years : aud 
he begat sons and daughters.” 
Now, in reading this part of the Holy Scripture, we are 
left in the dark as to how many sons Adam and Eve had, or 
as to how many daughters they had. According to the best 
information that I have about that ancient family, is that 
they had ten sons before any daughter. It will be remem- 
bered that Adam, in the commencement, was wearing the 
breeches, and he continued to do so until they had ten sons. 
The mare children they were having, the prouder mother 
Eve was becoming of her little flock. By the time they had 
the ten sons, she thought she was just as good as Adam. 
By this time, when she said, “ Adam, you go,” he went ; and 
when she said, do this or do that, he did it, because he 
thought her of some importance. About thirty-nine weeks 52 
TO TELL THE SEX NINE MONTHS BEFORE THE BIRTH. 
after this had become the order of the day, there was born a 
daughter. Then you should have seen father Adam, for he 
was a<s mad as mad could be. He kicked the chairs across 
the house, and upset the table. He wanted to know how he 
was ever to get a piano for his uaughter to thump on, or give 
oyster suppers in order to. get the neighbors in to hear his 
daughter play on the piano. He straightened himself up to 
show that he was somebody, and said: “Old lady, I will let 
you know who will wear the breeches.” Then their next 
child was a son, and then Adam felt that he was again the 
man of the house. But he soon became careless, and, for- 
getting himself, it wis not long until the old lady was lead- 
ing him by the nose, as it were ; and then the next child was 
a daughter. And then it was the same thing over, and they 
continued to have their children alternately, until they had 
fifty-six—thirty-three sons and twenty-three daughters. 
It will be seen in reading the fifth chapter of Genesis that 
only the leading men of the times are mentioned. It will 
also be seen that all their first-born were sons. The thirty- 
second verse reads as follows : 
“And Noah was five hundred years old : and Noah begat 
Shem, Ham and Japhet.” 
Noah was a determined man—a man with a great deal of 
determination and resolution, and a good deal of self-will. 
He put on the trowsers in the start, and he kept them on all 
through life. His wfife was a peace-loving, quiet, bidable 
and obedient, loving wife. She looked up to Noah as being 
a man above common men, a little superior ; she considered 
him next to her God. And that being the case, it was im- 
possible for her to have daughters. 
Sixth chapter, first verse.—“And it came to pass, when 
men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and 
daughters were born unto them, 53 
TO TELL THE SEX MINE MONTHS BEFORE THE BIRTH. 
Second.—That the sons of God saw the daughters of men, 
that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which 
they chose,” 
“ That the sons of God saw the daughters of men.” This 
reads as if men were not the fathers of these sons. And I 
think likely that is what it does mean. The male race, who 
the fathers of sons at that age of the world, were 
looked up to as being above the common men. The sire of 
sons in that day, as well as this, was a thorough-going man. 
It was always expected of them to go ahead. The fathers of 
daughters in those times are not named, because they did 
not cut much of a figure. 
Fifth.—“ And God saw that the wickedness of man was 
great in the earth, and that every imagination of the 
thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” 
“And God saw the wickedness of man.” Now, I think 
this man was the father of daughters; for if you will but 
notice the father of daughters at the present day. you will 
soon see that their thoughts are continually evil. You will 
soon see that they are very fond of telling smutty stories, 
and that they spend a great deal of time talking about the 
women On the other hand, a man that is the father of 
sons, has his thoughts on business affairs. 
Sixteenth chapter, first verse.—“ Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, 
bare him no children : and she had a handmaid, an Egyptian, 
whose name was Hagar. 
And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold, now, the Lord hath 
restrained me from bearing: I pray thee go in unto my maid: 
it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram 
hearkened to the voice of Sarai ” 
Fourth. - “And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: 
and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was 
despised in her eyes.” 
Eleventh.—“And the angel of the Lord said unto her, Be- 
hold, thou art with child, and slialt bear a son.” 
That was an easy thing to tell her, because Hagar was a 
very humble being, and she felt her inferior position. 54 
TO TELL THE SEX NINE MONTHS BEFOKE THE BIKTH. 
Abram considered himself great I am, and little you be, 
and he wras so considered by Iiagur. Therefore the offspring 
could not be otherwise than a son. God changed the name 
of Abram to that of Abraham. 
Seventeenth chapter, fifteenth verse—“And God said 
unto Abraham, As for Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her 
name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be. 
And I will b'ess her, and give thee a son also of her : yea, 
1 will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings 
of people shall be of her. 
Then Abraham fell upon his face and laughed, and said 
in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is a hundred 
years old ? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear ?” 
Eighteenth chapter, eleventh verse.—“Now7 Abraham and 
Sarah were old and well stricken in age ; and it ceased to be 
with Sarah after the manner of women. 
Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After 1 
am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also ? 
And the Lord said unto Abraham, Wherefore did Sarah 
laugh, saying, Shall I of a surety bear a child, which am 
old"” 
Here in these passages Sarah is promised a child, and we 
are safe in saying it will be a son, for it can be seen that she 
was subject to the will of Abraham, for we discover that 
she called him her lord, she being an obedient wife. Had 
she brought forth a son or two while she was yet young, she 
would have been proud of that; and being a very beautiful 
woman, she, as a matter of course, w7ould be a little proud 
of that; and the two combined would have caused her to 
imagine that all men ought to worship her. Then, there- 
after, her children would have been daughters. She would 
have imagined herself as good as Abraham or any other man. 
Nineteenth chapter, fourteenth verse.—“And Lot went 
out, and spake unto his sons-iudaw, which married his 
daughters, and said, Up, get you out of this place; for the 
Lord will destroy this city. But he seemed as one that 
mocked unto his sons-in-law.” 
I understand from this verse that Lot and wife had only 
daughters. Lot was of a very easy, quiet, meek-spirited, 55 
TO TEI.Tj the sex nine months befoke the birth. 
kind disposition. He allowed Abraham to rule over him. 
He would not quarrel with Abraham, or do anything to dis- 
please him. Lot was a man that had no will, determination, 
resolution, or strong mind of his own. He was a man tint 
could be led by the nose by any one so disposed, and his 
wife took that advantage of him. She was a woman that 
had a great deal of self-will. She was possessed of deter 
mination. She had a mind of her own, and she was not 
slow in letting Lot know it. When she said, “I will!” he 
understood what that meant. That being the disposition of 
Lot and his wife, it was impossible for them to produce male 
offspring. 
Twenty-sixth verse.—“But his wife looked back from be- 
hind him, and she became a pillar of salt ” 
It is generally believed that, as she was behind Lot, she 
was incrusted in this rain of brimstone and was suffocated ; 
but I think that is erroneous. The angel of the Lord said 
that he could do nothing until they had reached the village 
called Zoar. Zoar was not destroyed. It seems that I can 
see that determination not to do as she was bid. It seems 
that I can almost hear her say : “I will look back though 
death stares me in the face.” 
Thirtieth verse—“And Lot went up out of Zoar, and 
dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him ; for 
he feared to dwell in Zoar : and he dwelt in a cave, he and 
his two daughters. 
And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, 
and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after 
the manner of all the earth : 
Come let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie 
with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. 
And they make their father drink wine that night; and the 
firstborn went in and lay with her father ; and lie perceived 
not when she lay down, nor when she arose. 
And it came to pass on the morrow-that the firstborn said 
unto the younger : Behold, I lay yesterday night with ray 
father : let us make him drink wine this night also ; and go 56 
TO TELL THE SEX NINE MONTHS BEFOTtE THE BIRTH. 
thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our 
father. 
And they make their father drink wine this night also ; 
and the younger arose, and lay with him, and he perceived 
not when she lay down nor when she arose 
Thus were both the children of Lot with child by their 
father.” 
These girls were somewhat of the same disposition of their 
father. They did not have that selfwill that their mother 
had. But were quiet, kind-dispositioned, kind-hearted, af- 
fectionate, loving girls. They loved their father, and looked 
up to him as a superior person ; they felt their inferiority, 
and they were always submissive to his will. The offspring 
of the union of such dispositions cannot be otherwise than 
male. 
Tventy-fifth chapter, fifth verse.—‘‘And Abraham gave 
all that he had unto Isaac. 
But unto the sons of the Concubines, which Abraham had, 
Abraham gave gifts, and sent them away from Isaac, his son, 
while he yet lived.” 
Abraham being lord and master over his Concubines, it is 
no wonder that the offspring were sons ; the Concubines felt 
that they were inferior beings. 
Twentieth verse.—“ And Isaac was forty years old when he 
took Rebek ill to wife, the daughter of Bethuel, the Syrian of 
Padan-Aram, the sister to Laban, the Syrian. 
And Isaac entreated the Lord for his wife, because she was 
barren ; and the Lord was entreated of him, and Rebekah, 
his wife, conceived. 
Twenty fourth verse.—“And when her days to be deliver- 
ed were fulfilled, behold, there were twins in her womb. 
And the first came out red, like a hairy garment; and they 
called his name Esau. 
And after that came his brother out, and his hand took 
hold on his brother’s heel ; and they called his name Jacob.” 
It will be remembered that when Abraham's servant met 
Rebekah at the well, that she did not give drink to the man 
only, but to the camels also, thus showing that she was pos- 
sessed with a kind heart and a loving disposition. She hum- TO TELL THE SEX NINE MONTHS BEFORE THE BIRTH. 
57 
bled herself to the wishes of her friends. She was a dutiful, 
loving wife. Therefore, her children surely would be sons. 
Jacob went to his Uncle Laban’s house. 
Twenty-ninth chapter, sixteenth verse.—-“And Laban had 
two daughters : the name of the elder was Leah, and the 
name of the younger was Rachel. Leah was tender-eyed, but 
Rachel was beautiful and w'ell-favored. 
And Jacob loved Rachel; and said : I will serve thee seven 
years for Rachel, thy younger daughter. 
And Laban said : It is better that i give her to thee 
And Jacob served seven years for Rachel ; and they seemed 
unto him but a few days, for the love he had for her. 
And Jacob said unto Laban : Give me my wife, for my 
days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her. 
And Laban, gathered together all the men of the place a nd 
made a feast. 
And it came to pass in the evening that he took Leah, his 
daughter, and brought her to him ; and he went in unto her. 
And it came to pass that in the morning, behold, it was Leah ; 
and he said to Laban : What is this thou hast done unto me, 
did not I serve for Rachel, wdierefore then hast thou beguiled 
me ? 
And Laban said : It must not be so done in our country, 
to give the younger before the firstborn. Fulfill her week, 
and we will give this also for the service which thou shalt 
serve with me yet seven other years. 
And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week ; and he gave him 
Rachel to wife also And he went in also unto Rachel, and 
he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him 
yet another seven years. 
And when the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened 
her womb ; but Rachel was barren. 
And Leah conceived and bare a son ; and she called his 
name Reuben, for, she said, surely the Lord hath looked 
upon my affliction; now, therefore, my husband will love 
me. And she conceived again, and bare a son, and said : 
Because the Lord hath heard that I was hated, he hath there- 
fore given me this son also ; and she called his name Simeon. 
And she conceived again, and bare a son ; and said : Nowr, 
this time, will my husband be joined unto me, because lhave 
borne him three sons : therefore, was his name called Levi. 
And she conceived again, and bare a son ; and she said : 
Now will I praise the Lord. Therefore, she called his name 
Judah ; and left bearing.” 
We find that Leah was tender-eyed, meek and lowly, kind- 
hearted, and she was willing to undergo almost anything to 58 
TO TELL THE SEX NINE MONTHS BEFORE THE BIRTH. 
please her husband. He did not think her his equal, but 
that she was an inferior personage. Therefore, as long as 
she would look up to him as being her superior, and he 
thought her inferior, so long their offspring would surely be 
of the male sex. 
If Rachel would have had children when first married they 
would have been daughters. But it was not so decreed. 
Thirtieth chapter, first verse—“And when Rachel saw 
that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister, and 
said unto Jacob : Give me some children, or else I die. 
And Jacob’s anger was kindled against Rachel, and he 
said: Am I in God’s stead, who hath withheld from thee the 
fruit of the womb ? 
And she said : Behold my maid Bilhah, go in unto her, and 
she shall bare upon my knees, that I may also have children 
by her. 
And she gave him Bilhah, her handmaiden to wife, and Ja- 
cob went in unto her. 
And Bilhah conceived and bore Jacob a son. 
And Rachel said : God hath judged me, and hath also heard 
mjr voice, and hath given me a son; therefore called she his 
name Uan. 
And Bilhah, Rachel’s maid, conceived again, and bare Ja- 
cob a second son. 
And Rachel said: With great wrestling have I wrestled 
with my sister, and I have prevailed ; and she called his name 
N aphtah. 
When Leah saw that she had left bearing, she took Zilpah, 
her maid, and gave her Jacob to wife. 
And Zilpah, Leah’s maid, bare Jacob a son. 
And Leah said : A troop cometh ; and she called his name 
Gad. 
And Zilpah, Leah’s maid, bare Jacob a second son. 
And Leah said: Happy am I, for the daughters will call 
me blessed ; and she called his name Asher. 
Seventeenth verse.—“ And God hearkened unto Leah, and 
she conceived, and bare Jacob the fifth son. 
And Leah conceived again, and bare Jacob the sixth 
son ” 
It will be observed that so far all of Leah's children are 
sons. This was because she thought she was not Jacob’s 
equal. She has borne him six sons, and now she thinks that 
she is somebody. TO TELL THE SEX NINE MONTHS BEFORE THE BIRTH. 
59 
“ And Leah said : God liatli endowed me with a good dow- 
ry ; now will my husband dwell with me, because I have 
borne him six sons. 
And afterwards she bare a daughter, and called her name 
Dinah.” 
Now she has got the breeches on, as it were, Rachel has 
humbled herself and laid aside her selfwill, and become obe- 
dient to the will of her lord and master. 
“ And God remembered Rachel, and God hearkened to 
her, and opened her womb. 
And she conceived, and bare a son, and said : God hath 
taken away my reproach. 
And she called his name Joseph ; and said : The Lord shall 
add to me another son.” 
And she afterwards had Benjamin. 
Rachel died soon after giving birth to Benjamin. 
Thirty-eighth chapter.—This chapter is a history of Judah 
and Tamar. 
Judah was one of those men, great I am, and little you be. 
Tamar felt her littleness. When Judah lay with her, he 
thought her of a low character. He looked down on her, as 
being very much beneath him She looked up to him as 
being a little superior.—This chapter gives the origin of the 
Ononites. 
Joseph, Jacob’s son, that wras sold into Egypt, and after- 
wards became a mighty ruler, was given a wife by the name 
of Aseneali, the daughter of Poti-pherah, priest of On. We 
have no account as to what kind of woman Joseph’s wife was. 
I will venture to say that she was an humble, obedient, lov- 
ing, dutiful, obliging and generous woman. And as her hus- 
band was a man of considerable consequence, and a ruler 
over Egypt, it is but natural that she should look up to him 
as being her superior. And I verily believe that Joseph nev- 
er heard her say “I will,” or, “I won’t,” “I can’t,” and ”1 
shan’t ” Joseph no doubt looked dowrn on his wife, as it 
were, from his lofty position. 60 
TO TELL THE SEX NINE MONTHS HEFORE THE BIRTH. 
Joseph’s wife bare him tw'o sons, Manasseh and Ephraim. 
Exodus, second chapter, first verse.—“And there went a 
man of the house of Levi, and took to wife a daughter of 
Levi.” 
The man here referred to was Amram. He took to wife 
Jocliebed, his father’s sister, and she bare him Moses and 
Aaron. 
1 think that a man that will marry his aunt must have a 
good deal of determination. And a woman that will stoop 
to her nephew has not much determination or selfwill 
Therefore, is it a wonder that they had sons ? 
Eleventh verse.—“And it came to pass in those days, 
when Moses was grown, that he went out unto his brethren, 
and looked on their burdens; and he spied an Egyptian 
smiting a Hebrew, one of his brethren. 
And he looked this way and that*way, and when he saw 
there was no man, he slew the Egyptian and hid him in the 
sand.” 
I think that that act required considerable of determina- 
tion. 
Fifteenth verse—“Now when Pharaoh heard this thing 
he sought to kill Moses, but Moses fled from the face of 
Pharaoh, and dwelt in the land of Midian; and he sat down 
by a well.” 
Now, in this land of Midian there was a certain man. 
A meek and lowly man, a man of a peace-loving disposi- 
tion. This man wished everybody well; he was a God- 
fearing, and a God-loving man. He was a priest, one that 
said not my will, but thy will be done. This priest was 
called Jethro. His wife did not continually have the fear of 
God or man before her eyes. She had selfwill, and determi- 
nation I am thinking that she wore the breeches. 
Sixteenth verse.—“ Now the priest of Midian had seven 
daughters ; and they came and drew water, and filled the 
troughs to water their father’s stock. 
And the shepherds came and drove them away: but Mo- 
ses stood up and helped them, and watered their stock.” TO TELL THE SEX NINE MONTHS BEFORE THE BIRTH. 
61 
He showed a good deal of determination in keeping away 
the shepherds 
Jethro gave Moses his daughter Zipporah to wife. Now 
thisZipporali was a very good-dispositioned girl. She was 
like her father in many respects. 
Fourth chapter, twentieth verse.—“And Moses took his 
vvife and his sons, and set them on an ass, and he returned 
to the land of Fgypt.” 
He called his sons Gersham and Eliezer 
Aaron was a man of determination and self-esteem. Aa- 
ron had four sons that were priests : Nadab, Abihu, Eleazar, 
and Ithamar. Aaron had in all eleven sons. 
Judges, eighth chapter:—Gideon was a great warrior a 
man of might and determination. A man who, with the aid 
of the Lord, and three hundred men, drove and conquered 
a multitude. He was of strong-will and determined resolu- 
tion. 
“And Gideon had threescore and ten sons of his body be- 
gotten, for he had many wives. 
Ane his Concubine that was inShechem, she also bare him 
a son.” 
Gideon had in all seventy-one sons. 
Jair, a Gileadite, was a great ruler, a man of determina- 
tion ; with a strong ruling power, he ruled Israel twenty- 
twro years. 
“And he had thirty sons that rode on thir'y ass colts, aud 
they had thirty cities.” 
“ And after him Elon, a Zebulonite, judged Israel ; and he 
judged Israel ten years ” 
Ibzan, of Bethlehem, judged Israel seven years. 
And he had thirty sons, and thirty daughters, whom he 
sent abroad, and took in thirty daughters from abroad for his 
sons. 
Thirteenth chapter, second verse.—“And there was a cer- 
tain man of Zorah, of the family of Danites, wThose name 62 
TO TELL THE SEX NINE MONTHS BEFORE THE BIRTH. 
was Manaoh, ami his wife was barren, and bare not. And the 
angel of the Lord appeared unto the woman, and said unto 
her : Behold now, thou art barren, and barest not; but thou 
shalt conceive and bear a son 
Twenty-fourth verse.—“And the woman bare a son, and 
called his name Samson ; and the child grew, and the Lord 
blessed him.” 
Jerubbaal was a great man, a wonderful man, a man with 
a little more than ordinary determination. He was the 
father of seventy-two sons. 
King Solomon had seven hundred wives and three hund- 
red concubines, and he had fifteen sons. 
King David had thiiteen sons. 
King Rehoboam had eighteen wives, sixty concubines, and 
he had twenty-eight sons and sixty daughters. 
Abijah waxed mighty, and married fourteen waves, and 
begat twenty and two sons and sixteen daughters. 
A person would naturally think that a man having as 
many wives as King Solomon, would have had a great many 
children, but that seems not to have been the case with him. 
I know not to any certainty why this wrns the case, yet 
such a thing might easily be in this wise: He, haying seven 
hundred wives, if he lie with a different wife each night, it 
would take nearly two years to go around, and, as there is 
about twro wreeks in each month that a woman wall not be- 
come pregnant, I think it may have so happened that he layT 
with them at that time, and it'may have been intentionally so, 
Soloman being a wise man, may have knowni that, and, per- 
haps, did not wish many children. I have no doubt that he 
lay with his wives, for we read that he was a great lover of 
women. I think those children that he did have must have 
been born wdienhe was yet a youngman, and had only a few 
wives. 
A man having only two or three women, he is likely to lie TO TELL THE SEX NINE MONTHS BEFORE THE BIRTH. 
63 
witli them when they will become pregnant, as well as when 
they will not become so, and, therefore, be likely to have 
more children than when he has a great number of wives. 
In the Book of Esther we have an account of a great man, 
one of the great men of his day. He was looked up to by 
his wife and all people. He was a man of great determina- 
tion ; he was determined that all people should bow to him. 
But there was one man named Mordecai who would not bowr 
to him. This Mordecai was Queen Esther’s uncle. When 
Haman saw that Mordecai would not bow to him he mur- 
mured, and his wife thought all men should bow to her hus- 
band, therefore, she said to her husbrnd to erect a gallowTs 
fifty cubits high and hang Mordecai thereon. 
Haman was the father of ten sons, it could not well be 
otherwise. Forfuther information read the seventh chapter 
of the Book of Esther 
The Book of Job, first chapter, first verse.—“ There was a 
man in the land of Uz, whose name wtus Job ; and that man 
was perfect and upright, and one that feared God and es- 
chewed evil. 
And there were born unto him seven sons and three daugh- 
ters. 
His substance also was seven thousand sheep, and three 
thousand camels, and five hundred yoke of oxen, and five 
hundred she asses, and a very great household, so that this 
man was the greatest of all the men of the East. 
And his sons went and feasted in their houses, every one 
his day, and sent and called for their three sisters to eat and 
drink with them. 
Nineteenth verse.—“And behold there came a great wind 
from the wilderness, and smote the four corners of the house 
and it fell upon the young men and they are dead, and I only 
am escaped alone to tell rhee. Then Job arose, and rent his 
mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground 
and worshiped ” 
After this the Lord allowed Satan to afflict his body with 
sore boils from the sole of his foot unto the crown of his 
head 64 
TO TELL THE SEX NINE MONTHS BEFORE THE BIRTH. 
” And he took him a potsherd to scrape himself withal; 
and he sat down among the ashes. 
Then said his wife unto him : Dost thou still retain thy in- 
tegrity ? Curse God and die 
But he said unto her : Thou speakest as one of the foolish 
women speaketh. What, shall we receive good at the hand 
of God, and shall we not receive evil ? In all this did not 
Job sin with his lips. 
Forty-second chapter, tenth verse :—“ And the Lord turn- 
ed the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends, also 
the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before. 
Twelfth verse :—So the Lord blessed the latter end of Job 
more than the beginning ; for he had fourteen thousand 
sheep, and six thousand camels, and a thousand yoke of oxen, 
and a thousand she asses. 
He had also seven sons and three daughters.” 
Now it seems strange to me* that Job was the father of 
fourteen sons and six daughters. 
. I have now noted about all the the important persons in 
the Old Testament, I hope that the reader will see by these 
that I have noticed, that my theory is correct, or was correct 
in olden times. 
There are more cases that might have been mentioned, but 
it would only make the story longer and more tedious. 
We will now turn to the New Testament. 
Matthew", first chapter, sixteenth verse :—“And Jacob be- 
gat Joseph, the husband of Mary, of w'hom w?as born Jesus, 
who is called Christ.” 
Now the birth of Jesus Christ wTas in thiswise: When as his 
mother Mary wTas espoused to Joseph, before they came to- 
gether, she w'as found with child of the Holy Ghost. 
Then Joseph, her husband, being a just man, and not wil- 
ling to make her a public example, was minded to put her 
awray privily. 
But, while he thought on these things, behold,an angel of 
the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying : Joseph, 
thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary, thy 
wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy 
Ghost. 
And she shall bring forth a son, and thou slialt call his 
name Jesus.” >*•*»- 
Then Joseph, being raised from sleep, did'as the angel of 
the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife: TO TELL THE SEX NINE MONTHS BEFORE THE BIRTH. 
65 
And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn 
son; and his name was called Jesus.” 
St. Luke, first chapter, fifth verse:—“ There was in the 
days of Herod, the King of Judea, a certain priest named 
Zacharias, of the course of Abia, and his wife was of the 
daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. 
And they were both righteous before God. 
And they had no child, because that Elizabeth was barren; 
and they were now well stricken in years. But the angel 
said unto him : Fear not. Zacharias, for thy prayer is heard ; 
and thy wife Elizabeth shall bear thee a son, and thou shalt 
call his name John.” ; 
Twenty-fourth verse :—‘'And after those days his wife 
Elizabeth conceived, and hid herself five months, Thus hath 
the Lord dealt with me in the days wherein he looked on me, 
to take away my reproach among men/’ 
Zacharias was a priest, and a man that was looked up to 
by Elizabeth and others as being a good and noble man. 
He was a man of determination. He was determined to 
serve his Lord and Master. 
Elizabeth was an humble woman, as she was barren ; 
therefore she felt herself to be an inferior being, there was a 
reproach upon her: she says: “The Lord has taken away 
my reproach,” 
Twenty-sixth verse:—“And in the sixth month the angel 
Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee named 
Nazareth. 
To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of 
the house of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary.” 
Thirtieth verse:—“And the angel said unto her : Fear not, 
Mary, for thou hast found favor with God. 
And, behold thou shalt conceive in thy womb and bring 
forth a son, and shalt call his name Jesus.” 
The reader can apply my theory as is deemed proper. 
It will, perhaps, have been observed before this time that 
there were a goodly number of women promised offspring, 
and you, perhaps, have observed that in every case the off- 
spring was a son. In no case was a woman ever promised a 
daughter. 66 
TO TELL TIIE SEX NINE MONTHS BEFORE THE BIRTH. 
I think it will not be necessary for me to follow the Bible 
any further. 
We will now come down to the present time. 
There is a woman in England that is a ruler, one that will 
have her say and her will. This wToman is Queen Vic- 
toria. She is a woman with a determined will, and a woman 
who wears the breeches more than half the time. She is the 
mother of five daughters. 
All of the leading men in Europe are fathers of sons, when 
they have any children at all. Perhaps some one will say 
there are daughters in the Rothchild family. So there are. I 
do not consider the Rothchilds leading men; they control the 
money market, and it is their money, and not them that are 
the ruling power. We will now1 come home to our own coun- 
try. Who ever heard of a great statesman that was the 
father of a family of daughters? I verily believe that such 
a thing never was, and it never will be. I will not name our 
Presidents, but will let the readers think for themselves. 
Here in the State of Illinois all of our thorough-going, 
leading men, are men of determination, and* therefore, their 
offspring is, or would be if they had any, mostly sons. 
I have nowr a family in my mind where there were 
about half a dozen sons and one daughter. In this case the 
father was one year older than the mother, I hope that in 
this case no one will for one moment think that that was 
what caused so many sons. If that was the case they could 
never have had a daughtei. 
I know of a large family where there ape about six of one 
and half a dozen of the other sex. In this case the father is 
twrelve years older than the mother. 
A man may be the father of sons, and then let his wife die. 
and he marry a second wife, eight times in ten these children TO TELL THE SEX NINE MONTHS BEFORE THE BIRTH. 
67 
were mostly daughters, for about eight times in ten the sec- 
ond wife will wear the breeches, and she wdl say, “ Not thy 
will, but my will be done.” 
I now have in my mind an old gentleman, who I became 
acquainted with a few years ago. He seemed like a very 
nice old gentleman, when I was told that he was the father 
of about half a dozen sons. I thought there must be some 
mistake about it, therefore 1 made an errand to the old man’s 
house. I was not more than a few minutes in the house 
when I was convinced there was no mistake. I soon per- 
ceived that the husband considered the wife beneath his no- 
tice, and I saw that the wife feared her husband. She was 
afraid to talk freely in his presence. TO TELL WHEN A CHILD WILL BE BORN. 
Now, as you are married, I will take it for granted that 
you know what is what. Therefore, I will take the liberty to 
write plain and to the point. 
The question of duration of pregnancy is a question that 
has never been satisfactorily answered. 
The duration of pregnancy is not fixed. It appears, from 
observation that there is no absolute period determined by 
natural laws, and therefore none is laid by human enact- 
ment. 
The most usual period is about nine months, or about forty 
weeks. 
It is quite possible for a female to be delivered, with the 
child at full period, in a little over eight months after mar- 
riage, without there being any just grounds whatever for 
suspecting unfaithfulness. 
First children are frequently born under the nine months. 
Dr. R. Lee, in his lectures on the Theory and Practice of 
Midwifry, gives us some information on the subject. I will, 
therefore, quote from his work, making such comments as I 
may think advisable: 
“ The Roman law fixed the period of gestation at ten lu- 
nar months. The civil code of Prussia ordains that a child 69 
TO TELL, WHEN A CHILD WILL BE BORN. 
born 802 days after the death of the husband shall be consid- 
ered legitimate. By the laws of France the legitimacy of 
child cannot be called in question who is born 800 days after 
the death or departure of the husband. The laws of Eng- 
land declare that the usual period of human utero-gestation 
is nine calendar months, or forty weeks; farther than this 
they do not fix a definite period. The law is not exact as to 
a few days. 
To fix bastardy on a child in Scotland absence must con- 
tinue within six months of the birth, and a child born after 
the tenth month is accounted illegitimate. 
“The difficulty of determining the precise time when im- 
pregnation takes place in the human subject, renders it al- 
most impossible in any case to calculate with absolute cer- 
tainty the duration of pregnancy. We are, however, in 
possession of a sufficient number of observations to establish 
the fact that the ordinary period is about forty weeks,or 280 
days. 
“ Calculations of the duration,of pregnancy, founded upon 
what has been observed to occur after casual intercourse, or 
perhaps a single act, in individuals who can have no motive 
to tell us what is false, are likely to be much more correct 
and the conclusion to be drawn from these is, that labor us- 
ually comes on about 280 days after conception, but not in- 
variably, a mature child being sometimes born before the 
expiration of the forty weeks. Some women are always de- 
livered before the expiration of the forty weeks, according 
to the usual calculation, and their children are mature. 
“Except when labor is brought about prematurely by vio- 
lence, it always commences at what would have been one of 
the monthly periods; or, in other words, after a certain num- 
ber of full months, and never at any time between. 70 
TO TELL WHEN A CHILD WILL BE BORN. 
If, therefore, a female passes over the ninth mouth, she 
will probably go td the tenth. This has been proven by ex- 
tensive observations, and is only another proof of the reg- 
ular method in wdiich nature conducts all her operations. 
The same law is also observed in abortions, which gener- 
ally take place at one of the months, unless brought on sud- 
denly by violence.” 
These statements seem very reliable, but there has not a 
word been said about the duration of pregnancy, as to the 
sex of the child. Now, I have always noticed a difference 
in time. 
When I was a lad of sixteen years of age, I was office-boy 
for a physician. I there read a book on Midwifry that caus- 
ed me to believe that a daughter would be born one week 
sooner than a male child. Some two years after I was work- 
ing in company with a man who had a wife and two small 
children, both of them daughters. In our conversation 
about women and family matters, I told him that I believed 
that it could be told nine months before a birth, the day that 
the child would be born, that if the parents would have a 
family embrace a few days after a menstrual flow, then they 
could count thirty-nine weeks for a daughter, or forty weeks 
for a son. He said it would be a good time for him to try 
the experiment. He told me the next day to tell him what 
day the child would be born. I counted to the last day of 
thirty-nine weeks. Perhaps the reader would like to know 
why I thought it would be a daughter. You will, perhaps, 
think it was because the children they already had were 
daughters, but that was not the case. 
We were cutting timber for potash; he wras a good ax- 
man, much better than I was. In felling trees I would cut 
in on one side and he would cut in on the other side. He TO TELL when a child will be born. 
71 
would cut his half and then wait until I cut mine, and then 
the tree would fall. Then he would make a great many re- 
marks about the falling of the tree. While he would be 
talking his nonsence Twould measure off about ten feet, get 
on the log, and h ive cut in several inches, -then he would 
commence ten feet higher up, where the tree was a good 
deal smaller He would cut into the middle of the log be- 
fore I did and would then sit down on the log, and whet his 
ax, and whistle, or tell some story, and the story was likely 
to be about the women. Had his wife been doing the chop- 
ping she would not have stopped until the log was off, for 
she was a woman of determination. 
The child was born not only on the very day but to the 
v e ry hou. 
Until I was twenty-one I could never remember the day I 
was born on, and I have never been able to tell the day my 
wife or other relatives were born on. 
Before l was married I said that if I had children born, I 
would have them born on the same day of the month that I 
was born on, so that I could remember the day that they 
were born on, but not the same month. I was born at a time 
of year that we need not expect anything else but cold, dis- 
agreeable, stormy, blusterous weather, and 1 did not fancy 
going after the doctor at such a time. Therefore, I l.ave 
had my children born oa the same day of the month that I 
was born on, but they have been warm months. 
Iam personally acquainted with a man who noticed that 
their children were always born soon after bedtime, and re- 
membering that it was usually about this time in theevening 
that he and wife had their family embrace, he came to the 
conclusion that they might just as well be born in the day- 
time, as he did not like to call on his neighbors after bed- 72 
TO TELL WHEN A CHILD WILL BE BORN. 
time. He proposed to his wife to have one bom in the day- 
time. She consented and they fixed on the hour of 2 o’clock 
in the afternoon. Thirty-nine weeks after, at the hour of 2 
o’clock in the afternoon, there was born a daughter. 
In order to have these things come around with any cer- 
tainty, it is necessary a female should take proper care of 
herself. She should never work so hard that she becomes 
very tired, but at the same time should take exercise enough 
not to become lazy. She should have plenty of nourishing 
food to eat, and especially that for which she has a craving. 
I have no doubt but what the habits and customs of wo- 
men will make a difference in the duration of pregnancy. I 
think it an easy matter to make a difference of a few days 
one way or the other in the manner in which a female lives. PRODUCING BOYS OR GIRLS AT WILL OF PARENTS. 
The subject of producing boy or girl babies as wished by 
the parents, is a subject that has been on the minds of the 
human family for generations, and is likely to be for gener 
ations to come. There is perhaps only one subject at the 
present age of the world that is more thought of, and that is 
prevention, or having neither boy or girl babies. 
There is a theory promulgated that to produce a male 
child the husband must lie at his wile’s right side, or to pro- 
duce a girl the husband must lie at, his wife’s left side. It is 
supposed that masculine is originated at the wife,s light 
side and feminine in the left side. At first thought this 
seems very plausible, but, when we put this theory into 
practice, it is not reliable, it will not do to depend on And 
we believe it is not a correct guide to go by. There is an- 
other theory, sometimes called “Agricultural,” because it b 
said to have been adopted by many farmers, it is claimed 
that, when impregnation occurs within four days of the close 
of the female monthlies, produces a girl. It is claimed tna' 
the ovum is not yet mature, that it is not yet perfect, there- 
fore, it will only be a girl. But, when impregnation dot - 
not take place until within two or three days of the end o' 
the monthlies, the egg or ovum then being perfect, the r< -  PRODUCING BOYS OR GIRLS AT WILL OP PARENTS. 
suit will be a boy. We think that there is a good deal of 
imagination in that theory. 
We believe that it is something mental and not physical 
in the parents which pre-determines whether the offspring 
will be boy or girl. We believe that gender originates in the 
mind or spirit principle. Therefore, when the male spirit 
principle dominates, the offspring will be male, and when the 
female spirit principle dominates, the offspring will be fe- 
male. THE FATHER'S DUTY TO THE UNBORN. 
No man should ever beget a child without weeks, perhaps 
months, of preparation for this important office. 
He should live temperately, soberly, chastely. If he bas 
bad habits, he should, during this period at least, carefully 
abstain from indulging them. He should cultivate purity of 
thought, and seek thorough and intelligent sympathy with 
his wife in all her hopes and aims. 
The importance of the moment of conception is not gener- 
ally understood. Goethe aptly illustrates this in his “Elec- 
tive Affinities ” A husband and wife, each loving another, 
and each thinking of another at the moment of sexual inter- 
course, found evidence of their mutual unfaithfulness when 
their child was born, for it presented in its face the double 
likeness of the lovers whom the parents had in mind THE MOTHER’S DUTY. 
The mother’s duty and responsibility commences before 
the birth of her offspring, and respect herself almost as much 
as her child. 
Leaving out of the question, for the present, the duties ap- 
pertaining to the parent, we shall proceed at once to show 
the obligations the mother is under to her infant. 
One of the first and most important duties the mother owes 
not only to her child, but to society, is to have everything in 
order for the reception and comfort of her baby, when born : 
and as labor may take place at any time after the seventh 
month, all articles of clothing and whatever is necessary, or 
likely to become so, for the dressing and requirements of the 
child, should be provided and laid in careful and systematic 
order so that they will be in readiness not later than the 
seventh month. So important does the law regard the fact 
of the mother’s neglecting to provide clothes for her baby, 
that in a trial for infanticide, such a circumstance would 
weigh very seriously against the prisoner. In such a case the 
law does not look to the kind or the amount of the clothing 
provided, a strip of cotton with a few stitches in it, though 
only meant for a bandage, would be regarded as some provis- THE MOTHEK’8 DUTY 
77 
ion for the protection of her child, and the intention of pro- 
curing more willingly conceded to her. 
The number of articles a mother should provide for her 
child must, in a great measure, depend upon her means, 
though there are few wives but who, in their first confine- 
ment, are able to obtain all that is strictly necessary for the 
occasion. 
Tlie number or quality of the clothes is of much less con- 
sequence than the manner in which they are made. Mothers 
should always make those small garments, so they can be fas- 
tened with strings or loops, so as to avoid, as far as possible, 
the very objectionable practice of pinning on an infant’s 
clothing. 
All garments should be made in such a manner that they 
can be put on without the necessity of repeatedly turning the 
child. 
The clothing being washed and properly cared for, it is 
best to put them in a basket. The basket should contain 
one entire set of clothes, half of the diapers, a linen and a 
flannel roller, two caps, a pin cushion, a pot of pomatum,and 
one of lard, a cake of white Windsor soap, a large pomatum 
pot of plain, violet or starch powder, a puff, a soft hair brush 
and on top of all these should be placed three or four pieces 
of soft, old linen, a skein of whitish-brown thread and a pair 
of ordinary scissors. 
The diet of the pregnant woman should be light, easy of 
digestion, and' supporting, but, at the same time, simple. She 
should take as much of moderate exercise as her strength and 
condition will permit, and she should, especially in the lat- 
ter period, take frequent rest in the recumbent posture on a 
sofa, go to bed early, toward the end of her time take some 
portion of her breakfast in bed, and, in the morning, be care- 78 
THE MOTHER’S DUTY. 
ful not to rise too quickly too a sitting position, or sickness, 
or indeed, fainting, may ensue These directions are partic- 
ularly necessary, with delicate and very sensitive constitu- 
tions. 
After the seventh month the womb is very easily excited 
to put on its expulsive action from very trivial causes, and 
from this reason great care should be taken by the female 
to avoid any sudden jar to the system, or any strong emo- 
tion to the mind. The stepping from a single step in com- 
ing down stairs, the inconsiderate vivacity of young wives 
in jumping from a chair or lifting some heavy piece of fur- 
niture—even the turning of a bed—will in many instances 
bring on premature labor; and thu- all the previous care 
and attention is thrown away and the life of both infant and 
mother jeopardized by a premature birth. For in such cases 
this kind of labor, that is, if it, happens with a first child, 
there is a great probability that such a misfortune may oc- 
cur at the same time in the next pregnancy, without any ac- 
cident to cause it 
It is not always necessary to have a surgeon at 
time of labor. But it is by far the surest, for it at times 
saves great distress. Wo think it the duty of the husband 
to procure a surgeon, or a competent mid-wife. The sur- 
geon or mid wife will give all the instructions necessary. 
We do think it will not be necessary for us to give instruc- 
tions on that subject. Those wishing to be informed on 
that subject should procure such a work, in w-hich it would 
be given more fully than we can give it here. 
The first duty that the new-born child claims at the hands 
of the nurse is that of washing. This should be performed 
quickly, but tenderly. The child should be turned only 
when actually necessary. It is the length of time taken up THE mother’s duty 
79 
in this process, the rough handling and repeated changes of 
posture, that renders washing so distasteful to the infant, 
and causes it to make that noisy protest. It is usually the 
case that nurses do a great deal of gossiping while perform- 
ing this delicate task, never thinking that the infant’s skin 
is full of blood vessels, and therefore, very sensible It is 
the most tender part of its body, and very susceptible of her 
often rough hands and the cold air. 
As soon as the child is dressed it should be taken to the 
mother, placed at the breast, and the first substance allowed 
to enter its mouth, drawn from the mother 
Nature has purposely arranged that the first secretion of 
milk for every child should be adapted to the wants of the 
infant. 
One of the duties the mother should never neglect to see 
to is, that no bandage or string confines either the action of 
the abdomen or the chest; for the well-doing of the body 
depends upon the free play of the organs contained in those 
cavities. The robe or frock should not be too long or too 
heavy, so as to press on the child’s feet. 
In a changeable climate, as we have in this country, the 
mother cannot begin too early to attend to the warmth of 
her child’s clothing. The unwise, dangerous and foolish 
fashion that came into practice a few years ago, of leaving 
the child’s head destitute of covering, we hope, has about 
had its day, and will soon go out of fashion. It is a very 
dangerous system, as far as the health of the child is con- 
cerned. We will not argue the question of a covering for 
the head. Surely the example of five thousand years among 
all civilized nations ought to be sufficient authority for 
mothers who wish to bring up their children in the estab- 
lished rules of health and strength, to say nothing of the 80 
THE MOTHER’S DUTY. 
unsightly appearance an infant makes with its uncovered 
head, on which nature has not yet placed the clothing of 
hair. It is doing the child a very serious injury to expose 
the half-revealed brain of an infant to the perpetual changes 
of our climate. If we will look to the wise and stalwart 
men of the last three or four hundred years, we surely will 
come to the conclusion that it is a sufficient proof that the 
wise fashion of caps—whether made of flannel or muslin— 
cannot have been hurtful to the intellect or the frame of 
their wearers. 
Some females, in dressing an infant, are very rough, and 
do harrass and fatigue it almost to death. The most tender 
care should be observed, never allowing the clothing to be 
very tight. Never use pins, for they are dangerous. Use 
strings, and they should be tied slack. 
Never expose infants to open doors or windows, especially 
in winter. Rising early in the morning is good for all chil- 
dren, provided they awaken of themselves. 
The attention of mothers cannot be too early called to the 
fact that each stage in growth of children, from infancy to 
youth, is liable to diseases and ailments peculiar to their 
age, and accoi'ding to their care or negligence bestowed on 
their moral and physical health and training as children, 
and while under the responsible tuition of their mothers 
will depend much of their intellectual virtue or depravity, 
and the bodily strength or debility on which the future hap- 
piness or misery of the grown man or woman will depend. WHY THE FATHER OF DAUGHTERS CANNOT BE 4 SUCCESS 
A man who is the father of a large family of daughters 
could never be a success as president of these United States. 
A man who is the father of a large family of daughters can- 
not be a success as an army officer. Because he lacks con- 
fidence in himself, and has not determination enough to 
give command. Should such a man be captain of a large 
vessel at sea and there should arise a mutiny, he would hide 
himself or jump overboard ; for he could never face the 
music. 
Such a man cannot be a success as an officer of the law, 
because he has not determination to execute in dangerous 
places. 
Such a man cannot be a good physician and surgeon, and 
he will not attempt it. Many more offices and occupa- 
tions might be mentioned. TELL THE SEX OF CHILDREN WHEN SEEING THE PARENTS 
IN A WAGON OR BOGGY. 
When we see a man and his wife in a wagon or buggy, 
going along the road, and the man is occupying all of the 
seat that he can spread over, and his wife has the short end 
to sit on, and often has to hold on to the back of the seat to 
keep from being crowded off, then we know that their chib 
dren are sons. But if the children are daughters the wife 
will sit upright and occupy all of the seat that she can 
spread herself over. When the children are of both sex, 
then the husband and wife will both give to each other, so 
that there is plenty of room for a child to sit between them. 
A couple of this kind are well mated. 
When we see a family of four or six children of equal sex, 
then we see a happy family, where the parents are well suit* 
ed to each other. Such families are generally good neigh- 
bors. TO TELL THE SEX BY WALK AND TALK OF PARENTS. 
To tell the sex of the offspring by the walk, talk and ac- 
tion of the parents, we will divide men into three classes, or 
three companies, or rather, let them divide themselves. We 
will suppose that a man has invited his friends and neigh* 
bors to assist in raising a building. The men of a neighbor* 
hood collect themselves together at a particular place—say 
a corner grocery. When the time arrives for them to start, 
the men who are fathers of sons, (or would be if they had 
any children) will start first; they will scarcely look to the 
right or the left. You can see by that determined and elastic 
step that they mean business. They have but very little con- 
versation, and what they do have will be concerning the ob- 
ject for which they are going, or it will be some financial 
question. 
The next to start will be the fathers whose children are 
about equally divided, sons and daughters. They do not 
step so firm as the foremost company. They do more talk- 
ing : their conversation is mostly about the weather and the 
crops, and the prospects of the times. 
The next to start are the fathers of daughters. There is no 
determination in that step. They walk and act as if they did 
not care whether they got there or not ; but they will get 84 
TO TELL THE SEX BY WALK AND TALK OF PARENTS. 
there if there is to be something to eat or drink—they will be 
there in good time for that. While on the way they will 
have a great deal of conversation and a good amount of mer- 
riment. Their conversation will be principally about the 
women. 
It now and then happens that a man who is the father of 
daughters will be the first to start. He will say “hurrah boys, 
here we go.” He soon thinks of some story to tell ; he will 
wait until the foremost of the company comes up, then he 
will commence to tell his story ; but the foremost men will 
not hearken unto him. He then waits for the next company 
and he goes on with his story. They make some remark and 
laugh a little, and continue on their way. Then he soon 
finds himself in the rear company ; there he is a hale fellow, 
well met. Nine times out of every ten that is about 
some woman. 
Women can likewise be classed in three classes. The first 
walk bold and upright ; they neither turn to the right nor to 
the left; they are thorough business women, but not very 
sociable. Then there are the next class ; they are the wo- 
men that men want for wives. They are sociable, kind- 
hearted, good natured, good, obedient companions. 
Then there are the third class ; they are all laugh and gig- 
gle, and but little more than giggle. They will hang on to 
each other and giggle and giggle and giggle. 
When a man of the first company marries a woman of the 
first class, it is likely to he nip and tuck with them as to 
which shall wear the breeches. She generally is a woman’s 
rights woman. Such a couple, where they both have strong 
determination, are likely to have children of both sexes. 
The offspring of such parents have great determination and 
but little forethought or caution. Should a son of such pa- TO TELL THE SEX BY WALK AND TALK OF PARENTS. 
85 
rents see a thief making off with some stolen property, he 
would immediately go in pursuit ; and when he comes near, 
the thief says, "halt, or I will shoot you,” he will not heed, 
but pursue unarmed, and be shot down. 
If the son of such parents should become an officer in the 
army and he should go into an engagement, it would be 
death or victory with him. If he ever came out of an engage- 
ment it would be on the opposite side from that which he 
went in. 
When a man of the first company marries a woman of the 
second class, he marries a woman too good for him. They 
are likely to have a number of sons. A husband of that 
kind is likely to be a good provider—that is, lie will provide 
his wife with plenty of work to do ; and she will do all that 
she can. and try to do more ; anu her husband is likely to 
grumble because she does not do more. Of such a couple 
the wife is generally a slave. 
It is of such sons that we get our best statesmen and army 
officers. They have the determination of their fathers and 
the forethought and caution of their mothers. If such a son 
should become an army officer, he will first endeavor to as- 
certain the strength of the enemy ; and when he goes into an 
engagement he tries to keep the rear clear, so that he can 
fall back in good order if need he. 
Such sons make our best sheriffs, marshals and policemen, 
for they have the courage and the caution 
When a man of the first company marries a woman of the 
third class—but why need I make any remarks about them, 
for such a man is not likely to marry a woman of that class. WHAT THE CHILDREN WILL BE. 
When a woman of the first class marries a man of the sec- 
ond company, she will wear the breeches, and he will be a 
“hen-pecked” husband ; and their children—if they have 
any—will be daughters. 
When a woman of the second class marries a man of the 
second company, then believe that they are a couple such 
as the Lord intended should be united in wedlock. They 
are likely to be a happy couple ; and if they have children 
they are likely to be of both sexes. They will be good 
neighbors, kind-hearted, sociable, industrious, obliging, 
friendly people and a happy family. 
Wlxeu a woman' of the third class marries a man of the 
third company, there is one thing they are likely to have 
plenty of, and that is children ; and they are not likely to 
have much of anything else, for neither one is likely to look 
ahead to see where the next bread and butter is to come 
from. Their children will be of both sexes ; they will have 
no determination, or aim in life. The children will be 
harmless, dueless, careless, inoffensive, innocent, shiftless, 
tender-hearted,—so much so that if they are bid to cut a few 
sticks of wood, or bring a pail of water, they will instantly 
go into tears. I have often thought that there should be a 
law passed, preventing such a couple from marriage, or at 
least from having offspring ; for every generation of this 
kind gets weaker without getting wiser WHY THE FATHER OF DAUGHTERS CANNOT BE A SUC- 
CESSFUL MINISTER. 
We claim that a man who is the father of a family of 
daughters cannot be a successful minister of the Gospel, 
And why ? In the first place he lacks determination ; in the 
second place he cannot emphasize his remarks. A minister 
of this kind, when at home, always moves and acts as though 
he was afraid he would awake the baby. He dare not move 
and act otherwise; if he did, his wife would give him—no 
matter what. 
When he is at church he moves and talks as though he was 
afraid that he might awaken somebody’s baby. He will not 
strike the bible or pulpit with his fist, and he will not stamp 
upon the floor with his feet ; he dare not do it, for fear his 
wife will give him kingdom come. 
A minister of this kind will not use any loud and deter- 
mined language, for he cannot. 
A minister who is the father of a family of daughters is a 
good, peaceable, kind-hearted, come day go-day kind of a 
man. He will never accomplish great things, because he has 
not the determination to undertake a great thing. He is the 
minister for the people generally, because he is very mild 88 
FATHERS OF DAUGHTERS CANNOT BE SUCCESSFUL MINISTERS 
and does not try to frighten us by holding before our eyes a 
picture of endless punishment. When he does show us such 
a picture, he keeps it in the shade, so we do not see it very 
distinct and therefore are not afraid. He is afraid to show 
the picture in its full light, for fear it will not take well with 
the people. A man of this kind has not confidence enough 
in himself to be a successful minister. PLAYING TRICKS. 
When you wish to play tricks on old men, always select 
the father of a large family of daughters, because they sel- 
dom get mad about it. And if they do get angry you need 
not care, for they are harmless. They will perhaps make 
threats, but will not execute them. If you torment them be- 
yond all human endurance, they will call the aid of the law ; 
but then you need not fear, for they will be sorry as soon as 
they have done so, and they will be ever ready to compro- 
mise. 
Never try your tricks on a man who is the father of a large 
family of sons, for it will not do,—a thing you will soon 
learn to your sorrow. 
Never play tricks on the mother of many daughters. If 
you do you will find it is not healthy for you 
About playing tricks on a couple whose children are equal 
sons and daughters, I need not caution you, for they are gen- 
erally too well respected to play tricks on. CONTROLLING SEX AND COLOR. 
The principle of generation is about the same in the lower 
animals as in the human species. To illustrate I will men- 
tion the circumstance of two sows that we have on the ranclie 
at this time. The sows are both black ; they are not related 
to each other in any way, one having been brought here from 
another part of the country. When I wished these sows to 
commence breeding, I turned into the lot with them a male 
hog. This male hog was white and of the Suffolk breed ; he 
was a peaceable, quiet, good dispositioned hog. The sows 
were like some women that we have read about; they were 
very domineering. When the feed would get low in the 
trough, both sows would tight the male hog away. When 
these sows had pigs, one had three and the other had four, 
and the pigs are all female. The sows had the will power. 
These pig are all white. The male hog remained in the lot 
with the sows till within two weeks of pigging time. He 
served them a number of times, and I verily believe that that 
had much to do in causing the pigs to be white. I believe 
that had the male hog served these sows only once, and then 
been turned out of the lot, that some of the pigs would have 
been black, some white and some spotted. TO CONTROL THE SEX IN COWS. 
If a heifer calf is desired from any given cow, do not let 
this cow be served during her first occurring season. Let the 
occasion pass, but begin immediately to prepare her for its 
return, thus : Separate the bull from the herd, feed him 
generously upon rich heat-producing food, such as rye, oats, 
corn-meal, etc. Do not let him serve any other cow until the 
selected one has been disposed of. Restrain him rigidly in 
this respect ; reserve him in all his vigor for the chosen ani- 
mal. As to the cow, let her run at pasture ; feed her lightly 
on cooling food, bran, green food and roots. As she enters 
her vestrum compare her demonstrations with those of the 
bull. The bull should be the more demonstrative of the two. 
Such is often the case under all circumstances, but it should 
be so in this instance i n an exceeding degree. If this differ- 
ence is sufficiently decided and apparent, couple them. A 
heifer calf will be the fruit of this union. If, however, the 
difference between the displays made by the two animals is 
not distinct enough, let the occasion pass unimproved ; con- 
tinue the feeding attention to the bull, and also that of the 
cow. Wait the returning frenzy of the cow ; one will rarely 
fail at the second opportunity. If a bull calf is desired, re- 
verse matters. Let the cow be separated from the herd, feed 92 
TO CONTROL THE SEX IN COWS. 
and tend ber well, give her the heating food, etc. As to the 
bull, let him be lightly fed, and let him exercise his procreat- 
ing powers by serving every cow presenting an opportunity, 
from which you care nothing about the sex of the calf. As 
the cow enters her period compare the demonstrations as be- 
fore. She should be far the more blatant and excited of the 
two ; if so, couple them. The result will be a male calf. If 
it is doubtful as to the conditions of the animals, let the oc- 
casion pass, continue the two opposite courses of feeding 
and attention and await the next returning vestrum of the 
cow. The sex is always the opposite to that of the more 
vigorous, healthful and passionate parent at the time of ser- 
vice. Tne cool- eaded and self-controlling cow will produce 
a heifer calf. When the male is cool and deliberate and the 
cow in a frenzy, that causes her to be submissive, then the 
result will be a male calf. THE CAUSE OF TWINS, 
Twins that are both born at the same time and of the same 
age, have evidently originated from two eggs impregnated at 
the same time ; and triplets from three, and so on. 
Aristotle tells us of a female that was delivered of twelve 
infants, and another of twins, one resembling her husband 
and the other her lover. 
Bulfon relates a case of a woman in South Carolina, who 
brought forth a white and a black infant. On inquiry it was 
discovered that a negro had entered her apartment after the 
departure of her husband, and threatened to murder her un- 
less she complied with his wish. I think that she would 
have had twins all the same, had the colored gentleman staid 
away ; but in that case both children would have been white. 
Dr. Mosely relates a similar case. A negress, of Ganda- 
loupe, brought forth a black and mulatto, having had inter- 
course with a white and a black-man the same night. 
A mare has produced a foal and a mule, she having been 
impregnated by a horse, and five days afterwards by an ass. 
It is a vulgar error to suppose that twins will not breed, or 
that one of them will be sure to be barren, observation hav- 
ing shown that there is no foundation whatever for such a 
notion. 
I have frequently seen women that would not eat anything 94 
THE CAUSE OE TWINS. 
that was double, such as cucumbers or apples. This is an 
erroneous notion. 
In the case of sheep, it is not an uncommon thing for a 
ewe to have two Iambs at the same time. Now this is the 
result of two ovurns or eggs being formed in the ovaries at 
or about the same time—whether those two eggs are both 
formed in one ovary, or one egg in each ovary has never been 
ascertained. Those eggs pass down through the fallopian tubes 
at or about the same time, and enter the womb, and are 
there impregnated. There may be a space of four or five 
days in the time of the eggs arriving in the womb, and yet 
once cohabitating with the male will cause both eggs to be- 
come impregnated. 
In the case of swine,—in the sow there are often eight or 
ten. and sometimes even more than this number of eggs ri- 
pened and passed into the womb to become impregnated ; 
and if the male is a good stock-getter he will at one cohabit 
deposit semen enough, containing animalcules in sufficient 
number to impregnate all of the eggs, even though there 
were four or five hundred of them. THE SEXUAL PRINCIPLE. 
lu the nobler view this principle has at least three mani- 
festations and three objects to fulfil. 
First and lowest is a mere amativeness—the feeling which 
the male animal has for the female—common to man with 
the brutes. Its object is reproduction, its nobler uses, the 
perpetuation of our species. 
But far above this is a second division of the great princi- 
ple, companionship, society, love of a congenial associate. 
With it is connected the admiration for beauty, grace and 
refinement, mutual help and protection and the interchange 
of kind oftices. Its public benefits are in the founding of 
families and establishment of communities, and by it alone 
can the state be established on aught approaching sure 
foundations. 
In this view then marriage is not, as certain theorists 
would persuade us, a matter strictly between the individ- 
uals. The state has the highest interest in its regulation, 
and justly determines from the experience of the past, what 
is best for the stability of our institutions. 
But he who would stop at this point in the inquiry would 
have but a poor and mean view of the sexual principle or 
the marriage relation. 
As man is not all animal, but also a member of a family 96 
THE SEXUAL PRINDIPLE. 
and community, one helping and needing help, a citizen 
debtor to the public weal ; so he is not all man, not all citi- 
zen, communist or worker: he is in part divine; he has a 
nature in common with the angels. 
And in this department of his nature the great principle 
manifests itself as a high and holy affection; a pure regard 
for what is pure; a silent adoration for that which is divine 
in the human. Its exercise and reward alike are in a com- 
plete intercommunion of soul and interchange of pure af- 
fection. 
The object of this principle is a higher development of 
the whole man, male and female. This is the most noble 
object of the marriage relation, and by this alone is it sanc- 
tified. DOMESTIC INFELICITY. 
Matrimouy is a condition congenial with our nature. It 
is a main incident in human happiness. Even the birds 
pair, and what a reproof that should be to all obstinate bach- 
elors and old maids. 
Apart from the feelings which generate love, and which 
make men go through tire and water to obtain the object of 
their affection, and which urge women to leave happy and 
wealthy homes to realize their sympathy and devotion. 
There is a great feeling in the circumstance of the mere 
communion—in the social friendship betwixt man and wife, 
which can exist nowhere else in like degree. Apart from 
the ties of offspring that may bless a union, the fact of the 
worldly partnership, and the necessary mufual confidence 
existing in all matters of domestic aud political economy, 
cement the compact, and render marriage the most perfect 
attachment in the world. Hence the delightful position, 
above all price, of a pair well and suitably allied to each 
other in marriage. Much is necessary to be known with a 
view to discriminate between evil aud good, to foretell hap- 
piness or misery. How different are men’s feelings upon 
this subject at twenty and thirty. There is no trial before- 
hand of character and disposition. DOMESTIC INFELICITY. 
Marriage is a hit or miss; the shot when once fired cannot, 
be recalled. Courtship is a very artificial criterion; the face 
is lighted up with its best smiles and wears its cleanest as- 
pect; every flaw is concealed—not a stray curl is suffered to 
hang out of place; the voice assumes its most melodious 
tones; the very gait is graceful—the picture is handsomely 
framed and the conquest is completed. 
Doth sexes adopt the like maneuvers, and both frequently 
disappoint each other. 
“Men are April when they woo—December when they 
wed.” 
Maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes 
when they are wives.” 
Young people usually pride themselves upon being the 
best judges of what and who is most suitable. Courtship 
is an affair that advice is seldom sought in, and should it be 
tendered, is rarely acceptable. It is hard to counsel upon, 
but the prudent will at least reflect, lest they be too precipi- 
tate, and seould not disregard the counsel that persons au- 
thorized may tender. It is somewhat curious that all imag- 
inative writers, such as romance manufacturers and novel 
concocters represent fathers as obdurate and hard-hearted, 
and mothers as inimicable generally to their children's 
choice. The notion is a false one and ill-timed; for who 
can feel such interest, such dear solicitude for their chil- 
dren’s prosperity and the happiness as the authors of their 
being ? 
What a void in an old man’s heart is a disobedient and 
ungrateful child ! How hard it is to regulate these matters ! 
Young folks do not for a moment recollect that their pa- 
rents may have been lovers and must have acquired some 
experience worth detailing. Certainly an imensity depends 
on a good example being set at home—care in excluding un- DOMESTIC INFELICITY, 
99 
suitable acquaintances for our children, and caution and yet 
an interest in introducing others. But the subject I have 
entered upon is where the noose is tied, 'whence there is no 
escape—from whence all hope of a change, except that 
brought about by mutual or principal forbearance, is absent; 
I allude to domestic infelicity. Of course, there are a thous- 
and, and possibly more, provocatives to family jars and dis- 
sentions that render married life a most formidable and con- 
tinuous warfare. 
What is the principal and provoking cause to marital infe- 
licity—to perpetual squabbles—to family discomfort, to neg- 
lect of home—let us add, to ruin, desolation and beggary ? 
We shall not be far wrong in attributing tqe majority to two 
especial, common and prevalent vices, namely, drunkenness 
and irrascibility of temper. In dividing them, in justice we 
must lay the blame of the former principally to the husband, 
the latter to the wife. Of course the tables are sometimes 
turned and there are exceptions to both conditions. To 
these two evils I propose confining my remarks and sugges- 
tions for their alterations, if not for their removal. 
A man may take to drinking through want of comfort at 
home, and the woman may acquire a bad temper through a 
husband’s neglect. It is impossible to go into the very many 
inquiries of the why and how, and wThat is the cause; else 
we must canvass over personal dislikes, jealousies, opposing 
habits, physical inaptitudes, disparity of ages, family inter- 
positions, etc We came to this fact, that hundreds and 
hundreds of men are drunkards and thousands of women 
are plagued with terrible irrascible dispositions. What is the 
remedy? 
The companion to a drunken mate is the worst off, be- 
cause the drunkard sooner falls into that state of health that 100 
DOMESTIC INFELICITY. 
the stimulus becomes his only support, and his physical con- 
dition is a hell to him without his soul-spoiling antidote. 
Reason and reflection are of little use to a depraved habit; 
the consequences are the more likely to bring him to his 
senses, and these consequences are generally bodily suffer- 
ings, extreme ill-health and loss of business. It is well, 
where friends and relations will interpose and express their 
indignation and show their displeasure, and perhaps well- 
expressed contempt may create a thought at least toward re- 
formation. Coercion, if the nearest of kin might use it, 
would no doubt have great influence. 
Drunkenness Pad best be punished by positive imprison- 
ment; and why not ? Offences less injurious to public mor- 
als are; and what is the object but to px-event their repeti- 
tion? Thanks, however, to the spirit of the age, inebriation 
is on the decline. It exists chief!}7 among the very ignorant 
and the badly brought up. 
Now let us just view the consequences of irrascibility of 
temper. I need not picture the dreariness and constant con- 
fusion of a home beset with continued quarrels; that such 
things are, every day tells of them. If we read them not in 
the public journals, we learn of them through the travel of 
small talk—through scandal and other channels, and many 
of us know more or less from nearer sources the truth of 
such a report. 
Iii irrascibility of temper there are two things to be con- 
sidered. By no means to aggravate it, and by all means to 
try and subdue it. In whosoever the fault rests, the other 
should not fan the flames. Suppose we throw the blame on 
the weaker of the two sexes; the only alternate is to treat it 
with forbearance. A despairing man will dole out his la- 
mentations to the effect that he is the most wretched of all DOMESTIC INFELICITY. 
101 
living creatures; that he has no peace—that the maxim so 
often broached is reversed, and whatever is is wrong; “that 
his wife has the most turbulent, restless, dissatisfied, worst 
temper in the world;” that she either sulks or raves—that no 
cat and dog were ever such bitter antagonists as his spouse 
and himself. His every detail provokes a smile, but alas, it 
is too true, and his position is indeed a most miserable one. FORM OF MARRIAGE SERVICE. 
Dearly beloved, we are gathered together in the sight of 
God, and in the face of this company, to join together this 
man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is command- 
ed of Saint Paul to be honorable among all men; and there- 
fore, is not by any to be entered into lightly or unadvisedly, 
but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly and in the fear 
of God. Into this holy estate these two persons present 
come now to be joined. If any man can show just cause 
why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him 
now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace. (Turn- 
ing to the persons to be married), I require and charge you 
both, as you will ans* er at the dreadful day of judgement, 
when the secrets of all hearts sliall be disclosed, that if 
either of you know any impediment why ye may not be law- 
fully joined together in matrimony, ye do now confess it: 
for be ye well assured that if any persons are joined togeth- 
er otherwise than God’s Word doth allow, their marriage is 
not lawful. (After the customary pause), John, wilt thou 
have this woman to be thy wTedded wife, to live together af- 
ter God’s ordinance, in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt 
thou love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness 
and in health; and forsake all others, keep thee only unto FORM OF MARRIAGE SERVICE. 
103 
her so long as ye both shall live? (the usual answer) I will. 
(Then turn to the bricle and say) Mary Jane, wilt thou have 
this man to be thy wedded husband, to live together after 
God’s ordinance, in the holy estate of matrimony; wilt thou 
obey him, and serve him in sickness and in health, and for- 
sake all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both 
shall'live? “I will.” 
When the bridegroom wishes to bestow a ring to the bride 
he places the ring on the fourth finger of the left hand, and 
repeats in an emphatic tone—“With this ring I thee wed, 
and with my worldly goods I thee endow, in the name of the 
Father, and the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.” REMARKS ON MARRIAGE SERVICE. 
The celebration of matrimony in our time, and especially 
with the masses of society, as intimated, is essentially re- 
lieved from unmeaning ceremonies, and from public notori- 
ety inconsistent with good taste, and is rendered impressive 
by the sanctions of religion connected wdth it. If here is 
any occasion in the whole current of man’s earthly pilgrim- 
* 
age, wrhere an invocation for divine illumination and for an 
increased sense of moral responsibility is especially neces- 
sary, it is when at the nuptial altar before God, and in the 
presence of his people, two individuals with the sanctity of 
an oath, pledge themselves to each other till death do them 
part, ta perform faithfully all the duties, in sickness and in 
health. How could the young and tender bride go out from 
the habitation and tear herself forever from the arms and 
the throbbing bosom of father and mother; and how could 
they sustain themselves under such an abruption, were it not 
that the bridegroom thus solemnly and religiously promises 
to be to her even more than father or mother. If man or 
woman ever has occasion to supplicate divine wisdom to en- 
able them to understand their duties and grace, faithfully to 
perform them, it is when standing at the altar and hearing 
the enunciation in the name of the Holy Trinity, that hence- REMARKS ON MARRIAGE SERVICE. 
105 
forward they are man and wife; and no one is to put assun- 
der those whom God hath thus joined together. 
Prominent among the responsibilities alluded to is the 
promise on the part of the bride, to serve-and obey. If this 
subject is properly examined, all must think alike about it; 
no difference of opinion can exist in relation to it. The re 
sponsibility implied in this part of the marriage contract is 
aualygous to what exists in perhaps every association of 
right, interest and duty. Without it there could be no such 
harmonious and efficient association. Its very essence sup- 
poses a relinquishment of some natural rights as an equiva- 
lent for others to be secured. 
A very little attention to this matter will convince anyone 
that the marriage contract looks somewhat like a fair busi- 
ness transaction; no inequality about it. 
The wife simply gives her services, her time and ability to 
labor to the husband, for his guarantee to afford her the 
means of living. 
Those who do not think this a fair bargain had better live 
singly. If the female thinks this incompatible with her 
ideas of personal independence and dignity, the alternative 
is within her own power; she can take care of herself and be 
under obligations to no one. Saint Paul elucidates this sub- 
lect by saying: “Husbands, love your wives;” and to the 
other party, “Wives, obey your husbands in the Lord.” 
Now what is implied in this injunction to the wife? Si nply 
this, that she is to obey him in those things which are agree- 
able to the Lord; and if he were to command her to do what 
is not agreeable to the Lord—to lie, to cheat, to defraud, to 
commit murder, or to defile herself, she would not be 
obliged by her marriage contract to do it; that is, she is un- 
der a higher ob igation to her God, to her common country, 106 
REEARKS ON MARRIAGE SERVICE. 
and to the preservation of her own conscience, than she is 
to her husband. It does not follow that the wife is inferior 
to the husband in talents or moral w’orth because in the mar- 
riage covenant she»is required to serve and obey. In all con- 
federated bodies there must be one and only one individual 
head, so far as authority is concerned. 
Let this be thus understood, and there will be no conten- 
tion as to personal dignity and authority; each will most re- 
joice in the honor and welfare of the other. There will be 
no jealousy or discord. PERSONAL BEAOTY. 
A beautiful person is the natural form of a beautiful soul. 
The mind builds its own house. The soul takes precedence 
of the body, and shapes the body to its own likeness. A 
vacant mind takes all the meaning out of.the fairest face. 
A sensual disposition deforms the handsomest features. A 
cold, selfish heart shrivels and distorts the best looks. A 
mean, grovelling spirit takes all the dignity out of the coun- 
tenance. A cherished hatred transforms the most beautiful 
lineaments into an image of ugliness It is as impossible to 
preserve good looks with a brood of bad passions feeding on 
the blood, a set of low loves tramping through the heart, 
and a selfish disdainful spirit enthroned in the will, as to 
preserve the beauty of an elegant mansion with a litter of 
swine in the basement; a tribe of gypsies in the parlor and 
owls and vultures in the upper part. 
Badness and beauty will no more keep company a great 
while than poison will consort with health, or an elegant 
carving survive the furnace fire. The experiment of putting 
them together has been tried for thousands of years with one 
unvarying result. There is no sculptor like the mind. There 
is nothing that so refines, polishes, enobles face and mein as 
the constant presence of great thoughts. The man who 108 
PERSONAL BEAUTY. 
lives in the regions of ideas, moonbeams though they be, 
becomes idealized. There are no arts, no gymnastics no 
cosmetics which can contribute a tithe so much to the dig- 
nity, the strength, the enobling of man’s looks as a great 
purpose, a high determination, a noble principle and un- 
quenchable enthusiasm. 
But more powerful still than any of these, as a beautifier 
of the person is the overmastering purpose and pervading 
disposition of kindness in his heart Affection is the organ- 
izing force in the human constitution. 
Woman is fairer than man, because she has more affec- 
tion than man. Loveliness is the outside of love. Kind- 
ness good will, a prevailing desire and determination to 
make others happy, make the body a temple of goodness. 
The soul that is full of pure and generous affections fashions 
the features into its own angelic likeness, as the rose by in- 
herent impulse grows in grace and blossoms into loveliness 
which art cannot equal There is nothing on earth which so 
quickly transfigures a personality, refines, exalts, irradiates 
with heaven’s own impress of loveliness, as a pervading, 
prevailing kindness of heart. The angels are beautiful be- 
cause they are good, and God is beauty because he is love. DIVORGES. 
A great deal has been said and written of late, about the 
alarming increase in the number of divorces applied for, an J. 
the facility with which they are obtained. This unpleasant 
symptom betokens a diseased social and domestic condition, 
a wrong something, either in the habits of the community, 
or in the hearts of our people, or in the atmosphere of our 
time, or in all of them. 
A great many wise suggestions have been made as to cur- 
ing the disorder and pairing every man and woman and tuck- 
ing them snugly away in a domestic birth of some sort for 
life, if they will only have the good sense and the manners 
to stay there. 
But the trouble is they won’t stay there. And what is 
worse, in many instances it is not wise nor right for them to 
stay there. The seat of the difficulty lies a good deal deep- 
er down in our customs and ways of thinking than these so- 
cial Solomons seem to imagine. It is not in the facility with 
which people get divorced, but in the facility with which 
they get married, that the mischief inheres. It is not the 
unmarrying but the marrying—the marrying without proper 
consideration, marrying from wrong motives, with false 
views and unfounded expectations, marrying without know- 110 
DIVORCES 
ing who or what—that causes all this disturbance. And 
there is altogether too much of such marrying. Marriage is 
a thing of quality and degree; a marriage of the blood is 
usually a short-lived affair, while the marriage of the brain 
or of the heart is life-long. When man and woman marry 
all over and clean through, every faculty and sentiment of 
each finding its complement and counterpart in the other, 
separation is impossible. But when they are only half mar- 
ried, when only a third part of them is married—when they 
are married only in their instincts, or their imaginations, or 
their fortunes, the unmarried part of both of them is very apt 
to get uneasy and rebel, and they find a Bedlam where they 
looked for Elysium. 
There is altogether too much marrying by forms of law 
those who, at the most, are only a third or half married in 
other ways. 
And there is altogether too much urging and coaxing, and 
alluring young people into the most important and sacred of 
all human relations, before they are prepared for its respon- 
sibilities or moved to assume its burdens; and by those who 
ought to know better and act with more consideration. We 
make too much of marrying and being married, until it is 
thought by many people somewhat of a disgrace for a woman 
to pass through life alone; when in fact, the life of many 
a single woman is poetry, romance, rapture even in compari- 
son with that of many a wife So there is a vast deal of mar- 
rying with very little real marriage; a vast deal of discontent, 
heartache, misery, infidelity , and unmarrying at the last. 
What we want is not a more stringent divorce law, but a 
better understanding of the divine law, which forbids the DIVORCES. 
marrying of those not already one; not less unmarrying, hut 
less marrying where there is no real marriage. 
And, above all, let there be no inciting or bribing those to 
marry who are not drawn to each other and held inseparably 
together by qualities of mind and soul. EXTRAVAGANT WIVES AND MEAN HUSBANDS. 
One of the peculiarities of the present social system is that 
relating to the “money question” between husbands and 
wives. Although with the nuptial oath the husband does 
with all his worldly goods the wife endow, too often the 
memory of the obligation dies with the word of promise on 
the lips. When a man takes a woman to be his wife, he as- 
sumes the broadest obligation to provide for her comfort and 
support. A man of wealth is bound to enable a woman to 
sustain herself creditably in the circle in which they move; 
the poor man to administer to the comfort of his family as 
far as within his means. The ethical code does not obligate 
Ihe affluent man to indulge his family in profligate extrava- 
gance, nor the poor man to make provision for his family in- 
consistent with his income. The inconsiderate and reckless 
waste of money by some women provided with unstinted 
means, and the endeavor of others whose means are limited 
to a pretentious display, are equally to be condemned. 
There are some men who do not realize, or, at any rate, who 
seem to forget that their wives have any rights in money 
matters which they are bound to respect. A wife to this 
sort of a husband is much the same as a servant. Does she 
require money for family necessities, she must render ac- EXTRAVAGANT WIVES AND MEAN HUSBANDS. 
113 
count for the expenditure of every cent. If shopping is to 
be done, she must go to him for money to purchase even a 
spool of thread or to pay car fare. This is humiliating to a 
sensitive woman, yet such instances come under observation 
every day. A man of delicate sensibilities would himself 
feel humiliated that his wife should be placed in such a po- 
sition. And yet the man who never thinks to provide his 
wife with small change is careful enough to keep the where- 
with in his pocket to supply his cigars, his drinks, his lunch- 
eons, and other incidentals, regardless of the fact that a wo- 
man, too, has daily incidental expenses. The “mean man” 
treats his wife in this manner out of pure cussedness. There 
are others, however, who make the grave mistake of not rec- 
ognizing the ability of their wives in pecuniary matters, and 
% 
treat them as though they were children, who do not know 
the value of money. These two classes comprehend all mar- 
ried men. for the man who is too stingy to give his wife the 
money, which is hers by right, is mean. Advice would be 
wasted on him, but kicking might have potent effect. As to 
those men who question the financial shrewdness and ability 
of women, careful observation should convince them that as 
a general thing good wives are ever more prudent, thrifty 
and economical financiers than men. Put money in your 
wife’s purse and send her out shopping, and she wall, nine 
times out of ten, make $1 go as far again as you will. Hun- 
dreds of prosperous men to-day owe their success to the 
council and advice of their wives, to whom they have con- 
fided; nor are the}' ashamed Co acknowledge it. Many are 
the bankrupts who would have continued in prosperity had 
they but followed the advice of their wives; they will tell 
you so themselves. Every day we see noble wives who are 
cast upon their own resources by the failure of some reckless 
speculation on which their husbands entered, assume grave 114 
EXTPAVAGANT WIVES AND MEAN HUSBANDS 
responsibilities and display wonderful powers of energy and 
calculation. Every day we see women whose entire lives 
have been of domestic devotion, left widowed and destitute, 
with the burden of a family upon their inexperienced shoul- 
ders, displajr a persevering industry, thrift and financial dis- 
cretion which ought to put to shame any man who would 
question the fiduciary ability of woman. Let every husband 
consider his wife entitled to a fair share of his income for 
personal and family expenses, avoid meddling with the in- 
terior details of the home, trusting implicitly to the judg- 
ment and management of the wife, and the cases will be 
rare where the result will not be greater domestic happiness, 
as well as pecuniary advantage. HOW TO BEGIN A COURTSHIP. 
It may seem to be almost superfluous to give rules for 
commencing a courtship, because when two loving hearts 
are fully assured of affection, they will necessarily yearn to- 
ward each other; and with such a state of matters 
of ceremony cease. But as there are many young people 
naturally diflident when in the presence of the opposite sex, 
it may be well to discuss the most approved modes of form- 
ing an intimacy with a view to courtship and marriage. 
Young men are supposed to be the only persons needing ad- 
vice under such circumstances, for it would be indelicate and 
contrary to custom for a girl to show much anxiety for the 
society of a gentleman, with whom she had no previous ac- 
quaintance, or even for one whose acquaintance with her 
was but casual. The ladies, too, are generally too jealous of 
the privileges of their sex to think of making first advances 
in love matters. Thence our instructions must be principally 
to gentlemen. • 
We will suppose, then, several cases in which a prospect- 
ive lover would need advice and assistance: 
Courtship of a young girl with whom you are not person- 
ally acquainted. A marriageable young man, matrimonially 
inclined, desires to connect himself with a certain family, 116 
HOW TO 11EGIN A COURTSHIP. 
whose daughter he has perhaps seen, but to whom he is com- 
paratively a stranger. He should first consider the advice 
heretofore given, relative to position. If that tallies, he is 
then at liberty to commence legitimate proceedings. First 
he requires an introduction; and it would be a great deal 
pleasanter for both parties if this could be brought about 
without even a hint or a suspicion of his ultimate wishes. It 
may tix his ingenuity not a little to plan an introduction un- 
der such circumstances, but where there is a will there is a 
way. If the girl has brothers or near male relatives, it is 
certainly not a difficult task to throw yourself in their socie- 
ty, and thus, by management, get into the house. If you 
do not succeed this way, find out wh > are the female friends 
of the family,and contrive by indirect means to be introduced 
through one'of them. If both plans fail, see if you cannot 
concoct some business relations with the father, or with the 
mother, if she be a widow'. As a last resort request an in- 
troduction by some mutual friend. Do not be too anxious 
or in too great a hurry. Let all your movements be deliber- 
ate. The introduction once accomplished it will be your ob- 
ject to call upon the lady, or at the house, as often as you 
can without betraying your motives. At each call you will 
study her tastes and habits, as well as you can. Most girls 
betray their weaker points by common conversation. If you 
find the young lady to be reserved and diffident, make your 
calls as short as possible, for this peculiarity will only wear 
away by degrees. It need not discourage you that she does 
not talk fluently at first. Such girls will make up lost time 
when they become better acquainted Having taken an ob- 
servation of her likes and dislikes, try if you cannot perform 
some act or bring about some event that will please her. 
There are a thousand ways to work upon the feelings of a 
girl without giving her presents, though the latter are all- HOW TO BPIOUS A COURTSHIP. 
117 
potent in their proper place. Study carefully the ways to 
please her. Do all this before you hint that you wish to 
pay her your addresses, and be careful that she does not sus- 
pect that such is your object. By these means, carried out 
carefully and with deliberation, you will win the esteem of 
any young lady of sense and discretion; and if you are not 
in too great a hurry to disclose your motive, you may be al- 
most sure of success. After your acquaintance with the 
young lady has ripened to the proper point, it will scarcely 
be necessary to give you advice as to how you shall broach 
the subject of matrimony. Yet some men will break down 
there, when they have conducted the rest of the proceedings 
admirably. To such I would say—resort to letter writing; 
though this, as a general rule, is not the thing. If, however, 
you decide on it, you should candidly confess to the lady 
your weakness, and beg her forgiveness for your presump- 
tion. A still better way would be to leave town on urgent 
business, and beg leave to correspond with her during your 
absence. By this means you may legitimately speak your 
mind, and demand an answer by word of mouth on your re- 
turn, if sbe fails to give it to you by letter. To those who 
are too awkward with their pens to describe their feelings ac- 
curately, I shall give more specific directions under the head 
of ‘"Love Letters,” in other pages of this work. I would 
here caution every young man against “taking a miff” at the 
refusal of a girl to agree to marry him. It is no proof that 
she intends to slight him, or that she looks upon him with 
contempt. Many of the best wives that ever married hus- 
bands have at first rejected them. 
If you are refused, be not too pertinacious. Ask her for- 
giveness for presuming to offer yourself—in short, “be hum- 
ble,” as Mrs. Heap said to her son Uriah. These lovers who 118 
HOW TO BEGIN A COURTSHIP. 
get angry because they are at first rejected, do not deserve a 
wife at all. It is time enough for them to show llieir tem- 
per after the ceremony is performed. 
Courtship where the parties are acquainted—In this case 
the parties already know each other favorably, yet the young 
man desires advice as to the proper mode of making his first 
advances. We will suppose the girl to be a sensible, intelli- 
gent matter-of-fact young lady, not in any hurry to get mar- 
ried She therefore meets her would-be lover on all occa- 
sions as she would a casual acquaintance. He imagines 
himself in love with her, and this thought perhaps makes him 
a good deal more shy and reserved than he would be under 
other circumstances. She does not give him the opportunity 
to unburden his mind—that is, in her conversation she stu 
diously avoids all subjects that would tend to such a result. 
How must he proceed? You should first follow the advice 
heretofore given as to studying her habits, predilections, etc. 
Try if you cannot perform some act or bring about some 
event that is pleasing to her Watch carefully for opportu- 
nities to serve her. If she be fond of reading, procure for 
her the newest books. If she is particular and tasty about 
her dress, look for some of the latest fashions in the maga- 
azines, that you are sure she has not seen, and present her a 
copy; but do not let her know that you purchased it to show 
her the fashions. Point out s«>me other attraction—some ar- 
ticle or story. She will not then suspect that you have ob- 
served her partiality to dress. 1 mention this incident as a 
rule in all your proceedings. Should you wish to present 
her some choice fruit, do not let her suspect that it was any 
trouble or expense to you to get it. On the contrary, try to 
make it appear that it was not. but that it came to you quite 
casualty. Uo not tell any falsehood to create this impres- HOW TO BEGIN A COURTSHIP. 
119 
sion, for to say nothing of the vulgarity of such a pioceed- 
ing, you might say something that would afterwards be ex- 
posed as untrue; and if she is a sensible girl, this would dis- 
gust her Small appropriate presents, and little acts of cour- 
tesy may be tendered from time to time, but not too fast or 
in great profusion And above all never glorify yourself 
for anything you may do, or may have done. Both by your 
actions and your words, let her understand that all these 
kindnesses are but the result of your natural inclination and 
generosity of character, and not intended particularly to com- 
pliment her. To thus pave the way for a successful court- 
ship, a young man must study- carefully the part he has to 
act. His aim, in all these preliminary proceedings, must 
be to do that which is necessary, and at the same time pre- 
vent a suspicion of what he is driving at. No jewelry or 
articles of dress should be given as presents in this stage of 
proceedings, as she would immediately suspect your object. 
Those must be reserved until you are an accepted lover. Af- 
ter thus preparing the girl to approve of you as a lover, the 
next proceeding should be to ascertain whether her parents 
or friends would object You should do this by the aid of 
some friend whom you could make your confident. He 
might easily find out how the land lay, without putting any 
direct questions; for there would be no harm in his hinting 
that “John seemed to have a partiality for Lucy,” and he 
wondered whether there was anything in it, &c. If the 
feelings of the family could not be got at in this manner, a 
more direct course should be pursued. Whenever you re 
persuaded that the family of the girl are agreeable to the 
arrangement, you can then begin your regular courtship. 
Some couples, after the preliminary steps before described, 
would run naturally into a courtship-without knowing when 
it really commenced; but if the girl is shy, it may be neces- 120 
HOW TO BEGIN A COURTSHIP. 
sary to have the matter perfectly understood. On one of 
your visits you will say to her: “I beard something to-day 
which T am afraid will make you feel bad for the moment, 
even if it does not cause you unhappiness.” “What is 
that ?” she naturally enquires. You reply, “Mr. Brown 
says that people talk about us—that it is rumored that I am 
very thick about here—am paying you serious attentions; 
that it will be a match, aDd all that sort of thing. I told 
him I was afraid I was not so lucky as that.” If the girl is 
pleased with the announcement, you will know it by her 
answer. If she does not answer at all you can continue 
your speech by saying: “1 did not contradict the report, 
and I hope you will not be angry when I say that I wish it 
was true.” If she still remains silent, or if she speaks kind- 
ly to you, you should follow up your advantage by' a frank 
declaration]o I your passion—not in hackneyed novel reading 
phrases, but in matter-of-form, to-wit: “Lucy, you must 
excuse me for telling you that I tiud your society more and 
more agreeable every time we meet—indeed, I think 1 
should be unhappy to be deprived of it; and if I am allowed 
to continue my visits, may I not consider them those of an 
accepted lover?” On her answer, or on her silence, (which 
is the same thing) depends your fate. 
If you are thus accepted, the whole business is through 
with, unless a future quarrel should part you.' It is true 
you are not “engaged” in so many words, but that naturally 
follows There is no formality required in “popping the 
question.” That subsides into the naming of the happy day 
when you shall be united. THE RIGHT SORT OF A MAN. 
You will find as a rule that the men who are favorites 
with men are the best and truest in their relations to wo- 
men. Yes, the men who like sometimes to turn their backs 
to all women and go off “with the other fellows,” and have 
a good boyish time on the water, or the mountain, or in 
some other man’s “den.” Women need never be afraid to 
trust their happiness to those whom other good men esteem 
good fellows; but if a man is avoided by meu, shun him. It 
is he who has flirtations that come to nothing; and has not 
been very nice to the girls who have broken their engage- 
ments with him; who, when he marries, wrings his wife’s 
heart, if she has one, and spoils her temper, if she is natur- 
ally an angel Manly men are the best of lovers, the best 
husbands, the best companions for women, just as womanly 
women are the best sweethearts and wives. What do we 
think of women wdio shun their own sex, however charming 
men may find them ? It is seldom, if ever, that your men’s 
favorite ill-uses his wife. Berliaps it may be explained in 
this way: Friendship of a sublimer sort is what love be- 
comes after a year or so of marriage; and he who is friendly 
to tne very depths of his sou1, enters into this state happily, 
and is ready for all the delights that follow. But the man 122 
THE RIGHT SORT OF A MAN. 
who is capable of nothing but a fleeting affection, which ev- 
er pursues a new object, and cares for no woman when she 
is won, hates the domestic ties and becomes detestable in 
consequence. It is the man who would die for his friend, 
and for whom his friend would die, who makes a miracu- 
lously happy wife of the woman to whom he scarcely knew 
how to make love when he courted her. WOMEN AND WEDDINGS. 
Women generally feel the deepest interest in weddings. 
This interest is independent of marriage as an institution, 
being generally concentrated on the ceremony. In her great 
concern for weddings, woman shows a marked sexual dis- 
tinction from man, who, as a rule, cares nothing for them. 
He is not so insensible as to consider wedlock apathetically. 
But of the mere wedding he would have as little as possible, 
regarding that best which is the briefest, simplest, and least 
conspicuous. Most; men, however, fond of their brides, 
hate the ceremony, and feel greatly relieved when it is act- 
ually over. They may not say so, but they feel it “all the 
same.” Desirous as they are for marriage, getting married 
is exceedingly irksome to them as a general rule They so 
dislike to figure even at their own wedding that many of 
them would not take any part in it, could they be conven- 
iently spared. They almost always look more melancholy 
at a wedding than at a funeral 
How different is all this with the gentler sex, whether 
young or old, married or single, civilized or savage ! The 
nuptial passion is universal with them; they will forget 
woes and pains for a chance to assist at a wedding, whose 124 
WOMEN AND WEDDINGS. 
very name awakens a tumult in their breasts, and fills them 
with expectation. 
Who has ever seen a woman unwilling to attend a wed- 
ding? Any woman who does not respond with alacrity and 
fervor to such an invitation, must either be out of her sex- 
ual senses or at the point of death. It might be thought 
that, after a woman had been satisfactorily married and fair- 
ly settled in life, she would be indifferent to the marriage of 
others, especially when in no manner related to her by blood 
or sympathy. But her own marriage rather whets than ap- 
peases her appetite for seeing anybody and everybody else 
married. She revels in the very thought of a prospective 
wedding, the nearer it approaches the greater her excite- 
ment. She talks about it continually: discusses it in all its 
ramifications; speculates upon its remotest possibilities, 
What will the bride wear? How will she look? How will 
the groom bear himself ? How many brides-maids will there 
be? What will be the form of service? Where will they 
go for a bridal tour? Will they board or keep house? How 
many and what kind of presents will they have? These are 
a few of the thousand and one questions with which the typ- 
ical woman torments herself wrecks before the ceremony has 
taken place She dreams of it with eyes shut; she tries to 
arrange it in her own mind; her ideas of how it ought to be 
are exhaustless. 
When the day arrives she is sure to be there before the 
hour named, no matter what the weather, or how great the 
distance. Ordinarily she is tardy or rather fussy in dress- 
ing, and very apt to be behind time, but never at a wedding. 
Her punctuality can be relied on, for she fears that if she 
were only punctual, that something might escape her. She 
wants to be on the spot before the performance begins. Al- WOMEN AND WEDDINGS. 
125 
though she has attended scores of weddings, all essentially 
alike, every wedding has a fresh charm for her, and fills her 
with fresh emotions. She watches the glowing, nervous, 
uneasy bride; the bride's mother, bathed in tears at the con- 
summation of what she has probably striven long and wist- 
fully to insure; the stiff, undisturbed brides-maids; the whole 
of the solemn farce, as if it had never been before. Wed- 
dings are so precious to her that she wishes in her heart that 
she might be married every week, merely for the wedding’s 
sake. WEDDING DAYS. 
Wedding day may be the most eventful day in a woman’s 
life, but it is not the happiest, though it is conventional- 
ly called so; nor is it the man’s. Both the chief parties to a 
wedding cut rather awkward figures and play difficult parts 
on the day when they are made one, in the presence of a 
great concourse of friends, neighbors, and indifferent folks. 
The only brides who can really enjoy a wedding day are 
those who do not care much for bridegrooms, or who have 
struggled toward marriage under circumstances which con- 
vert their wedding day into splendid personal triumphs. In 
humble life, when a girl marries a man who is her superior 
in station, she must experience a moment of exquisite de- 
light when her union is consecrated amid a circle of envious 
friends. But to ordinary couples who love each other, and 
whose match is so well assorted in respect to age, station and 
fortune that it excites no wonder, the wedding day is cer- 
tainly a tiresome one. The two young people are impatient 
to be united, and they glory in the day which is to make 
them man and wife, but all the formalities of nuptials seem 
to them most tedious. The bride expectant rises in the 
morning, unrefreshed by a sleepless uight and nervous in 
anticipation of the day’s proceedings. A glance at her mir- Wedding days. 
127 
ror shows her that she is not looking her best. Correctly 
speaking, a man has no rights over his bride till the wedding 
service is over, and consequently he has no business to kiss 
her before strangers; but at court weddings, royal bride- 
grooms settle the difficulty by a compromise, aud kiss their 
brides on the hands. Lucky the bridegrooms who can 
laugh on a wedding day. The worst of a dismal bridegroom 
is that his gloomy looks may work on bis bride’s nerves and 
make her cry. There are brides who feel called upon to 
sob in church, at the breakfast, and again at the hour of de- 
parting. Anything is better than this. 
The bridegroom cuts a most miserable figure when he is 
made to appear as a brute who is carrying off an impres- 
sionable maiden against her will, and the bride herself does 
not shine out to her greatest advantage when she lapses into 
the melting mood several times over in one day. Some tears 
are, of course, excusable, and one honest, unpremeditated 
outburst at the moment when the newly wedded wife leaves 
the home where she has been so happy, is but a proof of 
good-heartedness, wliich the bridegroom should notice as 
a glad augury, seeing that cold-hearted girls do not as a 
rule, make warmly attached wives. 
On the whole, however, let a wedding be mirthful with- 
out levity; and, as it is the bridegroom who strikes the key- 
note of the prevailing sentiment at a wedding, let him 
clothe his features in serenity. UNMARRIED WOMEN. 
Every woman should have a good husband, and every man 
a good wife; but men and women will never be properly 
mated until a different system of educating children pre- 
vails. You teach your children from books. You cram 
learning into their heads, but they learn nothing about them- 
selves, their origin and development This is a mechanical 
age. We have any amount of contrivances for saving labor 
and anihilating time. But wTe do not teach ourselves self- 
control. We are governed by our passions and our appe- 
tites. That’s the reason there are so many old maids. They 
don’t look after their physical health. Beasts observe the 
lay of their being, even when he learns them. Old maids 
are generally sickly and ill-developed, yet thpy wonder wdiy 
men don’t marry them ! They wear diamonds in their ears, 
they calcimine their faces, and they remedy their defects of 
figure with horse-hair, and then they try to get husbands. 
Until women learn to regard the laws of bodily health, they 
can never hope to yield that tailsmanic influence over the 
opposite sex, which is more gigantic than the power of dia- 
monds and rouge. 
Another reason for the number of old maids is the pre- 
valent notion that every girl should marry rich, instead of UNMARRIED WOMEN. 
129 
choosing a man who is healthy in body and mind; whose 
wants are simple and easily provided for. That marriage is 
a lottery more suggestive of blanks than prizes, is we be- 
lieve, generally allowed; and the possibility of this draw- 
back being admitted, it would be unreasonable to blame the 
candidate for the happy state, if he looks before he leaps, 
and weighs well the pros and cons of the undertaking ere 
he irrecoverably commits himself. It is, moreover, a mel- 
ancholly fact that young men of the present day are less 
impulsive and more calculating—if traditional reports are 
to be credited—than they formerly were, and are rarely in- 
clined to barter their liberty. 
Love in a cottage has long been an exploded myth, and 
the pleasant fallacy that where one can dine two can, only 
requires a few months’ trial to be at once and forever dis- 
proved. Matrimony is an affair not to be entered upon 
lightly, but demanding the fullest and most mature deliber- 
ation. 
Many young men who willingly succomb to the attraction 
of a pretty face, and plunge unhesitatingly into a flirtation 
on every available opportunity, yet, however closely they 
may flutter round the candle—as it were—take especial care 
not to burn their wings; while on their side the fair ladies, 
we may be sure, are equally cautious as to the amount of 
encouragement they may safely venture to bestow. The 
fields of labor are now so much wider for women that they 
are more self-respecting, and are learning to analyze the re- 
alities of life, rather than to judge of things on the surface, 
which was the result of the old narrow way of educating 
women. They are also learning the truth, that unless peo- 
ple marry for love, and for no other reason, marriage results 
in unhappiness and misery for both; and unless true congen- 
iality can be secured as a basis for married life, the better 
way is to remain single. HOME. 
I cannot see why so many men spend their evenings at the 
public house, when their own fireside would be so much bet- 
ter and cheaper. There they sit, hour after hour, boozing 
and talking nonsense, and forgetting the dear good souls at 
home who are half starved and weary waiting for them. 
Their money goes into the whisky seller’s till, when it ought 
to make their wives and children comfortable. As for the 
beer they drink, it is just so much fool’s milk to drown their 
wits in. Such fellows ought to be horsewhipped, and those 
who encourage them and live on their spendings deserve 
to feel the butt end of the whip Those beer shops are the 
curse of the country; the evil they do, no tongue can tell. 
Beer shops are the enemies of home, and therefore the poor 
men don’t need such places; nor the rich man either. Any- 
thing that hurts the home is a curse, and ought to be put 
down. 
Every bird loves its own nest; the owl thinks the old ruins 
the fairest spot on earth, and the fox is of the opinion that 
his hole in the hill is very cozy. The sparrows chirrup and 
the swallows twitter around the chosen spot which is their 
joy and rest. When the horse’s head is turned toward home 
he wants no whip, but thinks it best to put on all steam: and HOME 
131 
I am always of the same mind, for the way home, to me, is 
the best bit of the road in the country. When you are out, 
friends do their best, but still it is not home; hence the say- 
ing, “make yourself at home,” because everybody knows 
that to feel at home is to feel at ease. At home you are at 
home, and what more do you want? Nobody grudges you, 
whatever your apuetite may be; and you don't get put into 
a damp bed. Safe in his own castle, like a king in his pal- 
ace, a man feels himself somebody, and is not afraid of being 
thought proud for thinking so. Every rooster may crow on 
his own dunghill, and a dog is a lion when he is at home. 
There is no man so poor that he is not master inside his own 
door. It is an ill bird that fouls its own nest, and a bad man 
who makes his home wretched. 
Husbands should try to make home happy and holy. Mar- 
ried life is not all sugar, but a loving disposition will keep 
away most of the sours. Love can make a man, like a bird 
in the hedge, sing among thorns and briars, and set others 
singing, too. It should be the husband’s pleasure to please 
his wife, and the wife’s care to care for her husband. He is 
kind to himself who is kind to his wife. 
When husbands and wives are wTell yoked, how light their 
look becomes ! It is not every couple that is a pair, and 
more is the ptiy. The husband should be the houseband, 
binding all together like a corner stone, and not crushing 
everything like a mill-stone. A father should alwrays hold 
the reins, otherwise the coach will soon be in the ditch. To 
be always able to hold the reins, make a mixture of love and 
firmness. Happy are tbe children who are happy in their 
father’s company. Some fathers are like Eli, and spoil their 
children. Those who never give their children the rod, 
must not wonder if their children become a rod to them. 132 
HOME. 
Solomon says: “Correct thy son, and lie shall give thee rest; 
yea, he shall give delight to thy soul.” I am not aware that 
there is anybody now living who is wiser than Solomon was, 
though many think tluy are. If young colts are not broken 
they will be wild horses. Some fathers are all fire and fury 
and fly into a passion at very small faults; this will make 
home a little hell instead of heaven. Men who strike in their 
anger generally miss the mark. 
A wife should feel that home is her place and her king- 
dom; the happiness of the home depends a great deal on her. 
A dirty, slatternly, gossiping wife is enough to drive her 
husband mad; and if he goes to the public home of an eve- 
ning, she is the cause of it. It is a miserable life we live, 
when the wife is continually wrangling and railing instead of 
reverencing her husband It must be a good thing when 
such women are too hoarse to speak, or have as many blis- 
ters on their tongue as they have teeth in their jaws. God 
save us all from wives who are angels in the streets, saints 
in the church, and devils at home. Of such bitter herbs 1 
have never tasted, but I pity from the bottom of my heart, 
the man who has this diet every day of his life. There is no 
grander sight than a loving husband, a worthy wife and good, 
kind obedient children. 
A true wife is her husband’s better half, his lump of de- 
light, his flower of beauty, his guardian angel, and his 
heart’s treasure. He says to her, “I shall in thee most happy 
be; in thee I And content; in thee I do rejoice.” In her he 
finds his earthly heaven; she is the light of his home; the 
comfort of his soul A good husband very often makes a 
good wife. Some men can neither do without wives nor 
with them: they are wretched alone, and they make their 
homes miserable when they are married. They are like HOME 
133 
Smith’s dog, who could not bear to be loose, and howled 
when he was tied up Happy bachelors are likely to be hap- 
py husbands, and a happy husband is ihe happiest of men. 
A well-mated couple carry a joyful life between them, as the 
two spies carried the cluster of grapes. They multiply their 
joys by sharing them, and lessen their troubles by dividing 
them. 
When a couple fall out there are faults on both sides, and 
generally there is a pound'on one side and sixteen ounces on 
the other. When a home is miserable, it is as often the hus- 
band’s fault as the wife's. If the husband will not keep 
sugar in the cupboard, no wonder his wife gets sour. Want 
of bread makes want of love; lean dogs light. Poverty gen- 
erally rides home on the husband’s back. Tt is not the wife’s 
business to bring in the grist but it is her business to see 
that it is not wasted. She is not the bread-winner, but the 
bread-maker. She earns more at home than any wages sin* 
can get abroad. It is not the wife who smokes and drinks 
away the wTages, We see a drunken woman now and then, 
and it is an awful sight, but in ninety nine cases out of a 
hundred it ir the man who comes home tipsy, and abuses the 
children. Women are found fault with for often looking in- 
to the glass, but the glass they look into is not so bad a glass 
as the one that men drown their senses in. Wives do not 
sit boozing at the saloon, but sit at home shivering with the 
baby, wondering when the lord and master will come home, 
and often crying while w aiting. They have to nurse the 
sick girl, and wash the dirty boy, and bear with the noise of 
the crying children, while his lordship puts on his hat, lights 
his pipe, and goes off about his own pleasure: but he is sure 
to return to find fault with his poor wife for not getting him 
a fine supper. Theie is many a home where there would not HOME. 
be a scolding wife if there was not a skulking, guzzling hus- 
band. 
A woman cannot help being vexed when with all her 
mending and striving, she can’t keep house because her 
husband won’t let her. She cannot keep the pot boiling 
without fire. She cannot get bread out of the oven when she 
has neither Hour or meal. When theie is wisdom in the hus- 
band there is generally gentleness in the wife. There is no 
need of the honeymoon coming to an end; and when it does 
it is generally the man’s fault for eating all the honey and 
leaving nothing but moonshine. 
When a dish is broken, the cat did it, and whenever there 
is mischief, there’s a woman at the bottom of it Here are 
two as pretty lies as you will meet with in a month’s march. 
I know some women have long tongues; then the more’s the 
pity that the husbands should set them going; but just take a 
look into a bar-parlor when the men’s jaws are well oiled 
with liquor, and if any woman living can talk faster, or be 
more stupid than the men, then I will give in. 
He who respects his wife will find that she respects him. 
Husbands should spread a mantle of charity over their wives’ 
infirmities. He who speaks ill of women should remember 
the breast he was nursed at, and be ashamed of himself. He 
who ill-treats his wife ought to be horsewhipped, and would 
not I like a cut at him! I would just brush a fly or two off, 
trust me for that. So, no more at present, as the man said, 
when he had cleared every dish on the table. HEREDITARY DEFORMITY. 
There are many instances to prove that parents afflicted 
with constitutional infirmities or deformities are liable to 
transmit them in greater or less degree to their offspring. 
M Lenglen, a surgeon at Arras, France, may be said to have 
demonstrated that sexidigitism—or the having of six fingers— 
is hereditary in a family. He shows that in the family of 
Gamelon, the great-great grandfather had six toes on each 
foot and two thumbs on each hand. The son of this man 
had hands and feet without any trace of sexidigitism, but his 
son, the grandfather of Gamelon, had feet formed like the 
great-great, grandfather above described. So did Gamelon, 
himself, who married a robust, healthy woman in no way re- 
lated by blood, to his family. Three sons and one daughter 
of this marriage had perfectly formed hands and feet; anoth- 
er daughter had two thumbs joined together on her right 
hand, and two thumbs on her left hand formed precisely like 
her grandfather’s. Still another daughter, the only other 
child, had an aditional digit on each foot and each hand, 
likelier father and his great-great grandfather. This last 
daughter had five children (the sixth generation) well formed 
except one boy, who had the two thumbs on each hand. To 
show that other deformities result from heredity, Dr. Roo 136 
HEREDITARY DEFORMITY 
cites the case of Mme. X , of Brussels, who had a back 
almost humped. She married a man of exceptional vigor 
and health, and bore him seven children, of whom six were 
perfectly formed, while the seventh, a son, had the humped 
back of his mother. This son married, as his mother had 
done, out of his own family, and had a son of delicate health, 
having the same deformity as himself and his mother. Mme. 
Z had one shoulder—the right— considerably higher than 
the left, and the back humped. She married a healthy, per- 
fectly formed husband outside of her own family. The fruit 
of this marriage was six children, of whom three boys and 
one girl were well formed, and one girl and one boy each de- 
formed like the mother. 
Numerous other instances attest the conclusion that there 
is a strong liability of deformities being transmitted from 
parents to children. As to the liability that consanguineous 
marriages tend to deteriorations of blood and consequent 
bodily or mental weakness or deformity, the authorities are 
divided There seems to be no sufficient reason for asserting 
that tin* children of cousins—german or first cousins, who 
are both healthy and free from deformity, or any hereditary 
taint of deformity, are any more likely to be sick or deform- 
ed than those of similar parents who are not related by blood. 
Intermarriages between scions of the same family are likely 
to result in the intensifying of family peculiarities of what- 
ever kind, physical, mental, or moral When constitutional 
weakness of any sort appears in a family, it constitutes a 
strong reason for avoiding intermarriages. As there are few 
families in which some hereditary infirmity, bodily or men- 
tal. does not exist, the conviction now prevalent among phys- 
iologists and social scientists, that it is not best for first 
cousins to intermarry, seems to be founded on reason. TO CHOOSE A GOOD HUSBAND. 
Let me say to you, girls, when choosing a husband, if you 
can always choose a true gentleman. For a true gentleman 
is generous and unselfish. He regards another’s happiness 
and wellfare as well as his own. You will see the trait run- 
ning through all his actions. A man who is a bear at home 
among his sisters and discourteous to his mother, is just the 
man to avoid when you come to the great question which is 
to be answered, yes or no. A man may be ever so rustic in 
his early surroundings, if he is a true gentleman he will not 
bring a blush to your cheek in any society by his absurd be- 
havior. There is an instinctive politeness inherent in such a 
character, which everywhere commands respect and makes 
its owner pass for what he is—one of nature’s noblemen. 
Do not despair, girls, there are such men still in the world. 
You need not all die old maids, but wait till the princes pass 
by. No harm in a delay; you will not be apt to find him in 
a ball room; and I knowT he will never be seen walking up 
from the liquor saloon; nor is he a “champion” billiard-play- 
er. He lia§ not had time to become a “champion,” for he 
has had too much honest, earnest work to do in the world. 
I have always observed that these “champions” were seldom 
good for much else. Be very careful in choosing, girls, when 138 
TO CHOOSK A GOOD HUSBAND. 
so much is at stake. Do not mistake a passing fancy for 
undying love. Marrying in haste rarely ends well. Do 
resent too much the interference of parents. You will trav- 
el long and far in this world before you will find any one 
who has your true interest at heart more than your father 
and mother. Age and experience has given them an, insight 
into character which is much beyond your own. It is very 
uncertain to marry a man against whom so wise a friend has 
warned you. I never yet knew of a runaway match that was 
not followed by deep trouble in one way or another, and 
matches made “in spite” are pretty sure to end in life-long 
repentance. TO COURT AND CHOOSE A GOOD WIFE. 
Wash your face clean, comb your hair and brush it to one 
side; do not part it in the middle, lest it might seem to some 
that you want to be a lady. Be choice of your language; 
use the best you know, and such, and only such, as will ex- 
press your meaning. Avoid all slang phrases; be careful of 
your time; get all you can honestly for your labor. Be care- 
ful of your money; buy nothing but what you need, and in- 
vest all you possibly can in safe property, or lend to some 
farmer or business man, always taking security; take no 
risk—do your own insuring. 
Wear good clothes, suitable to your business; dress well, 
but not foppish; take care of your clothes, being careful 
never to iook slovenly. Choose well your society; do not 
associate with coarse, slovenly, idle, or disrespectful com- 
panions of either sex. Do not listen to coarse jests, stories 
or songs; they are not only disgraceful, but are injurious to 
the mind. 
Select the best of books for your reading, and read with 
care; do not read for the pleasure of the reading, but for the 
information you get, not only of moral, but intellectual 
worth. Be careful of your habits, young man. Use no al- 
coholic drinks; use no tobacco in any form, as these only 140 
TO COURT AX'D CHOOSE A GOOD WIFE. 
tend to an expense without a profit, and will not be approved 
off by a sensible lady. Be polite and respectful to all, old 
and young, rich and poor. If any are unfortunate, give them 
your sympathy—lend them a helping hand, if possible, and 
it will be like “bread cast upon the waters.” 
Never allow yourself to flirt with any lady, be she ever so 
tempting. Do not allow yourself to be particularly intimate 
with any lady unless your better judgement approves, lest 
you be taken with her charms and accept what is not your 
choice. 
If you have a mother, cherish her council; and if she is in 
need befriend her. Have you brothers and sisters, be kind 
to them. 
Ask no girl to become your wife until you have a home, or 
means for her support. You may think girls are angels, and 
so they are, but they are manifested in the flesh, and unless 
that flesh has sustenance the angel will make its ascension 
and you will have no wife. Love is a heaven-born principle, 
and it dwells on earth and it must have a tenement in which 
to dwell, and that tenement must have a house and suste- 
nance . 
You may think this is a novel way of courtship, but I as- 
sure you it is effectual; for be assured, young man, that there 
is not a mother who has marriageable daughters but her eye 
is upon you, and of right it ought to be. She is taking notes 
of all you do and say, and is teaching it to her daughters, 
giving them council. Nothing surpasses the love of women, 
but with all their loving nature they want something lovable 
—something more than a highly colored moustache, scented 
by the perfume of a cigar. Young man, observe these rules, 
and you will have no difficulty in getting your first choice, 
nor will you have to get down on your knees, nor kiss the TO COURT AND CHOOSE A GOOD WIFE. 
141 
back of her hand, nor ask her mother the second time for 
her consent; the courting is all done with. You have only 
to select from your acquaintances some good, sensible girl, 
of happy disposition, and good common sense. Such a wo- 
man will cling to you like the viper to Paul’s hand, and in 
prosperity she will be like a fruitful vine round about your 
house, and the olive plants will rise up from around your ta- 
ble and call you blessed. Should adversity come and friends 
all forsake and foes unite, she will be constant, ever the 
same loving, helpful mate. 
Young man, be not deceived. It is not the rosiest painted 
cheek that can give the sweetest kiss, nor the head with the 
largest amount of borrowed, scented, crimped hair, and lays 
the closest to a satin vest, that can give the wisest council. 
Nor is it the dimple, taper fingers that send forth the most 
exquisite strains of music from organ or piano, that can 
knead the snowy loaf or make the golden butter best. I be- 
lieve that God gave man one of the greatest proofs of his 
love when he placed woman here with him. My advice is 
to you, young man, go and propose to the most sensible girl 
you know. If she accepts you, tell her how much your in- 
come is, and from what source derived; and tell her that 
you will divide the last shilling with her; that you love iier 
with all your heart into the bargain; and then keep your 
promise. My word for it, she will live within your income, 
and to your last hour—your dying hour—you will regret that 
you did not marry sooner. Stop worrying about feminine 
extravagance and feminine untruth. Just you be true to 
her, love her sincerely, and a more fond, faithful, foolish 
slave you will never meet anywhere. You will not deserve 
her, but she will never know it. MARRIAGE ETIQUETTE FOR GIRLS. 
When we came to speak of marriage, it is not merely with 
reference to its social importance, but as regards certain ob- 
servances concerning which no work on etiquette has yet 
given any explicit rules. We will give the reader a few pre- 
liminary remarks on the subject of courtship. 
Before you admit the attentions of a gentleman who wish- 
es to pay you his addresses, you should be very careful and 
examine your respective tastes and dispositions; and you 
should make up your mind as to what are the most import- 
ant requisites of happiness in a married state. 
You must enter upon the matter with consideration and 
deliberation on the subject, and act with a calm and deci- 
sive spirit, which will enable you to see where your true hap- 
piness lies, and to pursue it with determined resolution. In 
love affairs, as in business matters, it is always best to ask 
advice of your parents, or those who are appointed to watch 
over and direct j ou. 
If a gentleman gives you reason to believe that he wishes 
to engage your affections, speak to your parents, or those 
who take an interest in you, that they may gain for you ev- 
ery necessary particular with regard to his moral character, 
and his disposition and means of suitably providing foryou. MARRIAGE ETIQUETTE FOR GIRLS. 
143 
Remember that you have but little knowledge of this sinful 
world. Avoid, as you would the plague, any attention from 
a gentleman whose moral character renders him undeserv- 
ing your regard 
Do not be deceived by rank or fortune, nor fine clothes, or 
fine intellect, nor yet the most winning manners; in short, 
be not induced to receive the addresses of an irreligious 
man. Supposing your admirer to be a sensible man, he will 
like religion in you for his own sake; if such is not the case, 
and you become his wife, he will often—though, perhaps, 
without intention—distress you with his remarks. 
You will, also, please bear in mind, that no happiness can 
be expected in the marriage state, unless the husband be 
worthy of respect. 
Do not marry a man with a weak spot about his cranium: 
for it must be painful to a sensible woman to have to blush 
for her husband, and feel uneasy every time he opens his 
lips to speak. Still worse, if it should please God to give 
her children, if she cannot point to the example of their 
father, as leading to what is excellent and of good report; 
nor yet to his precepts and instructions as their rule of con- 
duct. 
In choosing a partner it would be well to consider what 
the offspring is likely to be. A weak man will usually show 
his weakness by contradicting his wife. 
Offers of marriage are made in a thousand different ways; 
but however tendered, receive them courteously, and with 
dignity. If you receive an address by letter, answer it as 
becomes a gentlewoman—your heart will dictate what to 
write. 
Never trifle with the affections of a man who loves you; 
nor admit of marked attention from one whose affections 144 
MARRIAGE ETIQUETTE FOR GIRLS. 
you cannot return. If you see that you have become an ob- 
ject of especial regard to a gentleman, and do not wish to 
encourage his addresses, treat him honorably and humanely, 
as you hope to be used with generosity by the person who 
may engage your own heart. D.o not let him linger in sus- 
pense, but take the earliest opportunity of carefully making 
known your feelings on the subject This can be done in a 
variety of ways. A refined ease of manner will satisfy him, 
if he has any discernment Should your natural disposition 
render this difficult, show that you wish to avoid his compa- 
ny, and he will soon withdraw. 
Never let it be said of you, that you permit the at entions 
of an honorable man when you have no heart to give him. 
Every young woman should know her own heart; and yet 
the happiness and future prospects of many an excellent 
man has been sacrificed by unprincipled conduct 
Should you at any time receive an offer of marriage from 
a gentleman, and you reject it, you have no right to speak 
of it to any one, If you possess either generosity or grati- 
tude for offered affection; you will not betray a secret which 
does not belong to you. It would be sufficiently painful to 
be refused, without incurring the additional mortification of 
being pointed out as being a rejected lover. No sensible 
and right minded woman will do anything of the kind. 
On your conduct during courtship will very much depend 
the estimation in which you will be held by your husband 
in after life. 
As 1 have already written at considerable length under 
the heading of “Courtship,” I will drop this, and proceed to 
the next thing in order. And assuming that the important 
day has been fixed and the bidden guests have accepted the 
invitations; the bride uniformly goes to church in the same MARRIAGE ETIQUETTE FOR GIRUS. 
145 
carriage with her parents, or with those who stand in »heir 
place. If the father is deceased, then an elder brother or 
uncle, or even a guardian, accompanies the mother and her- 
self. If she is so unfortunate as to be an orphan, and has 
no relations, a middle-aged lady and gentleman, friends of 
her parents, should be requested to take their place. A 
brides-maid will also occupy a seat in the same carriage. 
The bridegroom finds his way to church in a separate car- 
riage with his friends, and he will show his gallantry by 
handing the bride from her carriage, and paying every at- 
tention to those who accompany her. Any omission in this 
respect cannot be too carefully avoided. 
When arrived at the altar, the father of the bride, or in 
default of such relation, the nearest relative or some old 
friend, gives away the bride. 
The brides-maids stand near the bride; and either her sis- 
ter or some favorite friend, will hold the gloves or hand- 
kerchief, as may be required, when she ungloves her hand 
for the wedding ring. When the ceremony is completed, 
and the names of the bride and groom are signed in the ves- 
try, they are first to leave the church together, occupying 
by themselves the carriage that waits to convey them to the 
house of the bride’s father or mother, or that of the guard- 
dian, or friend, by whom the bridal breakfast is provided. 
The wedding-cake uniformly occupies the center of the 
table. It is usually tastefully surrounded by flowers, among 
which those of the fragrant orange ought to be conspicuous. 
After being cut according to the usages observed on such 
occasions, the oldest friend of the family proposes the la- 
dy’s health; that of the hridegroom is generally proposed by 
some friend of his own, if present; but if this is not the 
case, by his father-in law or any of his new relatives, who 146 
MARRIAGE ETIQUETTE FOR GIRLS. 
will deem it incumbent upon them to say something gratify- 
ing to him while proposing his health, wnich courtesy he 
must acknowledge as best he cau. After this the bride 
withdraws, in order to prepare for leaving the parental roof, 
by taking off her wedding garments and putting on her 
traveling dress. It is sometimes more agreeable to the bride 
to remain in another apartment, and thus avoid the fatigue 
and embarrassment of appearing at the breakfast table. 
When this occurs, her place beside the bridegroom must be 
occupied by a near relation or friend. But whether present 
or remaining apart with a few friends, all who are invited to 
do honor to the bride must appear in full dress. Bracelets 
may be worn on one or both wrists. Black of any kind is 
wholly inadvisable; not even black satin can be allowed; 
and widows must attire themselves either in quiet colored 
suits, or else in silver gray. 
We have now given you city style, but as everyone does 
not expect to get married in the city—neither do they wish 
to marry city style. Therefore we will give you a little 
country fashion. Having been married several times my- 
self, and having attended several weddings, and having 
been somewhat observant; we will then assume that'the day 
is fixed, and the invitations have been sent to those who it 
is desired to have present. In the country.it is not expect- 
ed that the invitations will be acknowledged by sending an 
acceptance. 
There is usually an arrangement made with a lady and 
gentleman to be in attendance as brides-maid and grooms- 
man, or, as they are usually called, waiters. It is customa- 
ry for the bridegroom to go to the house where the bride 
is making it her home. The bridegroom often goes to the 
place where the wedding is to take place, in time to dress in MARRIAGE ETIQUETTE FOR GIRLS. 
147 
his best bib and tucker, and then awaits the time. If he 
lias but a short distance to go, he usually waits till near the 
time fixed for the ceremony. The time for the ceremony 
is, as a general rule, a few moments before the feast, which 
is, generally, near the middle of the day, or about two hours 
after. It is sometimes thought best to postpone the cere- 
mony until the evening, then the time to feast is about nine 
o’clock. For my part I do not see much propriety in that 
fashion, in a country wedding. 
The bride and groom, with a few selected friends, gener* 
ally assemble in one room, and the invited company congre- 
gate in another apartment, which is, as a general rule, the 
sitting room 
When the time arrives for the ceremony to be performed, 
the groomsman will offer his left arm to the bridesmaid, 
and they will precede the bride and groom, and go into the 
room where the company is waiting. The lady and gentle- 
man will walk to the spot where the bride and bridegroom 
are to stand. They will then separate a sufficient distance 
to give ample room for the bride and groom. The waiters 
will then turn about one-eigth around, the lady facing to- 
ward the right, and the gentleman to the left. The bride- 
groom wili offer his left arm to the bride: they will walk 
forward, the gentleman a little in advance. They will go 
and take their place between the waiters, a little to the rear. 
The lady and gentleman waiters should be able to see each 
other in front of the bride and groom. Then they will be 
in position to see what is needful for them to do. They 
are sometimes needed to hold gloves. When the officiating 
minister has completed the ceremony, he will congratulate 
the couple; the waiters are often next to give their congrat- 
ulations, then the parents will come next in order and con- 148 
MARRIAGE ETIQUETTE FOR GIRLS. 
gratulate, then next are those of nearest kin to either of the 
wedded pair. 
After the handshaking is completed, the newly-made man 
aDd wife will retire, followed by their waiters. All will 
now prepare to eat turkey, and a few other things. 
While the important persons of this gathering are getting 
themselves ready to partake of the good things. 
We will make a fewr remarks I like to see a couple stand 
on the floor at ease, not too stiff, nor do I like to see them 
stoop, as is sometimes the case. 
When a couple are coming on to the floor, they should 
come as though they meant business. We have frequently 
seen, when the contracting couple were coming on to the 
floor, the bridegroom be pulling, as one may say—the bride 
walking as though she had on a “Grecian bend-lier,” or a 
kink in her back. A little timidity in a bride is no detriment, 
but she need not come like unto a lamb to the slaughter. 
All are now ready to do justice to the viands; we will now 
proceed to the table. In some places it is the fashion to re- 
main standing, but supposing that there are other people as 
lazy as we are, therefore we will not recommend that way 
of doing. It is generally the rule to be seated; but now we 
are at a loss, as there are a great many different ways. 
It is often the case that the minister is placed at, the head 
of the table (we mean the end of the table), then the bride 
and groom next on his left, with parents of the couple on 
his right. Then, usually, the oldest persons, and so on, un- 
til they are all seated. 
Then there is a custom of placing the bride and groom at 
the end of the table, the minister on their right, their wait- 
ers on the left, then the seats are filled by seating parents 
or oldest couple. But long before this time some one was MARRIAGE ETIQUETTE FOR GIRLS. 
149 
sent in to the kitchen to carve.—make the turkey into pieces. 
There is usually some one to pass the plates. After the first 
passing, almost every one takes the liberty to lift a dish and 
pass it. One dish will be started to the right and then one 
to the left; that is what makes it interesting. For you are 
sure to receive a dish on the right and one from the left at 
the same time. 
I have been at such gatherings and have endeavored to 
have the passing done all one way, but no matter which wajr 
around they would be passed, there was always an inconven- 
ience. It is a very good way to have persons especially to 
do the passing. 
Do not eat as though you were going on the train and your 
time was short; neither sit and gather gap-seed until the rest 
of the company are done eating, and then are obliged to re- 
main on your account. 
Neither ladies nor gentlemen ever wear gloves at table, un- 
less their hands, front some cause, are not fit to be seen. 
Do not eat too slow, as that will appear as though you did 
not like what you were eating; and avoid eating too fast, for 
that will look as though you were afraid you would not get 
enough. In chewing your food, make as little noise as pos- 
sible; avoid breathing hard, for that is an unseemly habit, 
which will be sure to get you a bad name, among people of 
good-breeding. Feed yourself with a fork or spoon, knives 
were made to cut with. Use your knife, fork and teeth as 
quiet as possible. Never commit the vulgarism of speaking 
when you have any food in your mouth. 
Do not put butter on your bread at dinner, and avoid 
biting or cutting your bread from the slice or roll; rather 
break off small jneces, and put then in your mouth with 
your fingers. Avoid putting bones or the seeds of fruit upon 150 
MARRIAGE ETIQUETTE FOR GIRLS. 
the table cloth; rather place them upon the edge of your 
plate. 
When you wish to help yourself to butter, salt or sugar, 
use the butter-knife, salt-spoon or sugar-tongs; to use your 
own knife, spoon or fingers evinces great ignorance and ill- 
breeding. 
Upon leaving the table, lay your napkin beside your plate, 
but do not fold it. 
The mistress of the house usually gives the sign to leave 
the table 
We believe it is the custom at some wedding breakfasts to 
have the bride and groom occupy the center of the table; she 
occupying a place by the side of her husband—her father 
and mother occupying tbe ends of the table, and showing all 
honor to their guests. When the cake has been cut, and ev- 
ery one is waited upon—when, too, the health of the bride and 
groom has been drank, and every compliment and kind wish 
lias been duly proffered and acknowledged—the bride, at- 
tended by her friends, withdraws; and when ready for her 
departure, the newly married couple start off on their wed- 
ding journey, generally about two or three o’clock, and the 
rest of the company shortly afterward take theirleave. 
The mysteries concerning knives, forks and plates, or 
throwing “an old shoe” after the bride, are highly reprehen- 
sible, and have long been exploded. Such practices may 
seem immaterial, but they are not so. INDEX. 
Husband and wife . ® 
Who Should Marry Who 9 
Newly Married Couples 12 
Advice to Young Husbands 14 
Husbands 16 
A Good Wile 19 
Why Some People are Poor 20 
Man Without Offspring 21 
To Choose a Partner - 24 
Proper Age for Marriage 26 
Generation in General 21 
To have the Offspring Resemble Either Parent 30 
To Produce Beautiful Children ... .. 39 
The Mother’s Charge 43 
Mother’s Marks 44 
To Tell the Sex Nine Months before the Birth 48 
To Tell When a Child will be Born 68 
Producing Boys or Girls at Will of Parents 73 
The Father’s Duty to the Unborn - • 75 
The Mother’s Duty 76 
Why the Father of Daughters cannot be a success 81 
To tell the Sex of Children when Seeing the Parents in Wagon or 
Buggy 82 
To tell the Sex by Walk and Talk of Parents 83 
What the Children will be 86 
Why the Father of Daughters cannot be a Successful Minister 87 
Playing Tricks 89 
Controlling Sex and Color 90 
To Control the Sex in Cows 91 
The Cause of Twins 93 
The Sexual Principle 95 
Domestic Infelicity 97 
Form ol'Marriage Service 102 
Remarks on Marriage Service - 404 
Personal Beauty 167 
Divorces 109 
Extravagant Wives and Mean Husbands 112 
How to Begin a Courtship ....: Hi* 
The Right Sort of a Man 121 
Women and Weddings 423 
Wedding Days • 423 
Unmarried Women 423 
Home 190 
Hereditary Deformity 434 
To Choose a Good Husband 137 
To Choose a Good Wife 439 
Marriage Etiquette for Girls 442