December 15, 1939
Dear Fred:
Unknown to the police
With the connivance of Bevier.
I helped myself to your valise
And donned a lot of your old gear.
I wore your pants, I wore your boots,
I wore your overcoat as well;
And while I do not give two hoots
For looks, I certainly looked swell.
Fond mammas looked at me askance;
Drew their muchachas to the fold;
Mosquitoes left their hants
And sought protection in the wold.
The ticks and redbugs cooked their beaks
On blade of grass and pendant bough;
Emitted monitory squeaks
And cried: "We've got old Soper now!"
I pointed out 'twas only me,
I tried my damndest to explain
The error in identity.
No use.  They bit with might and main.
I've put away your overcoat;
I'm packing up your boots and pants;
I rather think I've been the goat
And I won't take another chance.
But Fred, I hope you won't suppose
I'm up to any dirty tricks
If you should find among your clothes
A bunch of redbugs and some ticks!
Lewis Hackett