THE BETTER WAY: 
AN 
APPEAL TO MEN 
IN BEHALF OF HUMAN CULTURE THROUGH 
A WISER PARENTAGE. 
By A. E. NEWTON. 
“ Is there anything better in a State than that both men and women he 
rendered the very best ? There is not.”—Plato. 
“A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree 
bring forth good fruit.”—Jesus. 
NEW YORK: 
M. L. HOLBROOK & CO 
1884 THE BETTER WAY: 
AN 
APPEAL TO MEN 
IN BEHALF OF HUMAN CULTURE THROUGH 
- A WISER PARENTAGE. 
By A. E. NEWTON. 
“ Is there anything better in a State than that both men and women bo 
rendered tho very beat? There la not.”—Plato. 
“A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree 
bring forth good fruit.”—Jxsus. 
NEW YORK: 
M. L. HOLBROOK & CO. 
1884. CONTENTS. 
Appeal Page 3. 
I.—A Mother’s Plea for a Wiser Motherhood :—Im- 
portance of Human Culture—Results of Ignorance and 
Marriage Prostitution—The Divine Overshadowing—Un- 
disturbed Maternity 4-7. 
II.—A Few Facts:—How Beauty and Amiability were con- 
ferred—How a Tattler and Busybody was made—Timid- 
ity transmitted—Slyness and Thieving, how entailed—A 
Welcome Child—Craft, Treachery, &c.—How Murderers 
are made 7-13. 
III.—The Source of Crime:—Futility of Penal Laws and 
Capital Punishments—Abortions and Attempts at Abor- 
tion, and the Results—Who are Responsible for the exis- 
tence of Criminals—How they should be treated. 13-16. 
IY.—The Key to Other Mysteries :—Origin of Various 
Traits, Diseases, etc.—The Mother’s Privilege—The Law 
of Pre-Natal Culture—Startling Possibilities—The Fa- 
ther’s Power 17-20. 
V.—Duties of Fatherhood :—Personal Preparation—Se- 
lection of a Partner—Mutual Love—Law of Conjugal 
Harmony—Favorable Circumstances—Public Recogni- 
tion—Marriage—A Suitable Home—Freedom—Pecuni- 
ary Independence—Attention during the Critical Period 
—No Intrusion—No Profanation—Support and Educa- 
tion of Offspring....., 20-37. 
VI.—Objections Answered : — 1. “ Impracticability. ” — 2. 
“Strength of the Sexual Impulse,” “Necessity,” etc.— 
Better Uses of Procreative Force—Value of Continence. 
—3. “Overthrow of Marriage”—What Marriage should 
be.—4. “ Non-Increase of Population”—“Homesofthe 
Lower Classes Unfit.”—5. “Revolutionary.” 87-48. 
Entered according to act of Congress, in the year 1875, by A. E. Newtoh, 
in the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. APPEAL. 
Brothers :—Suffer a few words of earnest appeal, from 
one who is identified with you in all common interests, on 
a topic of momentous importance to every person now liv- 
ing, and pre-eminently to all who through our agency may 
come after us. The urgency of. my subject is my only 
apology for asking your attention. 
I may have some unwelcome truths to tell—some dis- 
tasteful advice to give—and possibly may awaken in some 
minds painful thoughts of the past. Quarrel with me if 
you will—dispute me if you can—but listen ! “ Strike, 
but hear I” 
Recently a small pamphlet came into my hands, the 
reading of which has stirred my soul with thoughts that 
burn for utterance. I cannot quench them if I would, and 
I would not if I could. 
The pamphlet referred to bears the significant title of 
“ Motherhood : Its power over Human Destiny.”* In 
its pages a mother, out of the depths of her maternal heart, 
which yearns for the blessing and uplifting of all human- 
ity’s children, pleads with her sisters to arouse themselves 
to the knowledge and the exercise of the mighty moulding 
power which they hold, through wisely regulated mother- 
hood, over the characters and destiny of the race. Could 
a nobler subject engage the mind and heart and pen of an 
American woman ? 
* By Mrs. L. B. Chandler. 4 
THE BETTER WAY : 
But is it not one in which all right-minded men, equally 
with all with all true women, are interested ? It is not 
possible for woman to do her best and worthiest work as 
mother, unless seconded and properly aided by the intelli 
gent co-operation of man. Let us, then, brothers, attend 
to a few of the pregnant utterances of this mother-heart. 
I. PLEA FOB A WISEB MOTHEBHOOD. 
I quote a few passages from the tract referred to : 
“ Man has discovered that the animal kingdom below 
him is capable of extensive improvement. He experiments, 
forms associations, compares experiences, to aid in secur- 
ing the highest results in producing the beast which perish- 
eth. Even the filthy swine shares his profound investiga- 
tions. But through all these centuries of the Christian era 
the subject of human culture has waited for consideration. 
“ But more than all to be lamented is the almost total 
want of instruction in regard to the wise regulation of con- 
jugal commerce,—that instruction which by every consid- 
eration of the fitness of the mother’s position toward her 
offspring, holding in the nature of her being the keys to the 
inmost life of her child, she should impart, and which, if in 
the possession of the sons and daughters, might save to 
many the wreck of health and happiness which often at- 
tends the outset of married life. 
“ I charge it upon an ignorant motherhood not yet con- 
scious of its high duties, its far-reaching, God-endowed 
powers, that this deplorable ignorance, this fearful prosti- 
tution of the marriage-bed, this degenerated and degenerat- 
ing standard of physical womanhood and all its attendant 
evils, surge over our broad country like a besom of destruc- 
tion.” 
“ In maternity alone,” continues our author, with un- 
doubted truthfulness,—“ In maternity alone can the con- 
ditions important to maternity be experienced, and, 
through this experience, revealed. They are not within 
the scope of intellect alone. That laboratory of the Divine 
Artist, motherhood, is one whose secrets cannot be 
fathomed by man ; he only can wait at the portal.” AN APPEAL TO MEN. 
5 
Here is affirmed au important truth too often overlooked 
by the masculine sex, in our pride of intellect. Let us 
give it heed, and, waiting reverently in our proper place at 
the portal of this great mystery, listen to woman’s revela- 
tion of her needs and our duties. Nay, we must do more 
than this. We must invite and encourage the revelation. 
For refined and sensitive women—and such only are capa- 
ble of revealing to us the finer and higher truths—will not, 
cannot, obtrude their profounder thoughts, their deeper 
monitions, upon those who have no car for them. They 
shrink from casting their pearls before swine. To the want 
of au earnest desire and a reverent, listening ear on man’s 
part, for the truth on this subject, must be attributed the 
fact that the revelation has not sooner come. As to our 
cattle, horses and swine, there was money to be made in 
their case I The prospective clink of the dollars has made 
men attentive! But our children, alas 1 are not a mer- 
chantable commodity (except in slave-holding communi- 
ties), and who has cared much about improving their qual- 
ities ? 
Not to quote too largely from this mother’s eloquent plea 
(which is worthy the thoughtful study of every man as well 
as of every woman in the land), suffice it to say, that she 
depicts in burning language the wrong and outrage of 
maternity undesired and incurred without due preparation 
—often resulting from “ phrenzied passion ” on the one 
hand, and accompanied by “a sickening terror” on the 
other lest the dreaded result ensue. She points out some 
of the fearful evils which are entailed upon offspring and 
society from this cause, and affirms that— 
“ In motherhood desired, all the energies of soul as well 
as body contributing to the new life, and provided with 
conditions in accordance with physical and psychical law— 
motherhood fitted to instruct and courageous to perform its 6 
THE BETTER WAY : 
duties—is the only possible hope for the consummation of a 
divine order of society upon earth, and through it alone can 
the kingdom, of heaven come to be established. All reformatory 
efforts not commencing here lack the basis of permanency.” 
The Divine Overshadowing.—Undisturbed 
Maternity. 
This author further declares that— 
“ Every mother, from the hour when the new life com- 
mences, is ‘overshadowed by the Most High,’and could 
she understand her needs and powers, and secure to her- 
self the respect due to her sacred office ; and, free from all 
polluting intrusion upon herself, bathe her spirit in the in- 
fluxes which the life within her attracts, very rapidly 
would disappear the loathsome deformities, the discordant 
spirits now blotting the fair proportions of humanity.” 
She claims that in the scripture statement in reference to 
the parents of the child Jesus, that Joseph “knew not” 
Mary from the hour when the announcement of the new 
life was made till the birth of the child, is involved a deeper 
and more important meaning than the Christian world or 
the medical profession has discovered ; that this “ undis- 
turbed maternity ” which was essential to the ushering in- 
to the world of the Prince of Peace, is equally in all cases 
“a vital and indisputable necessity for the salvation of 
humanity.” “Motherhood,” she feelingly urges, “should 
be a shrine unpolluted by one touch of selfishness or lust. 
O woman ! this would and will be thy recompense for all 
the sufferings and agonies which pertain to physical 
womanhood and motherhood.” 
Such, fathers, brothers, is the purport of this mother’s 
plea in behalf of a purer and wiser maternity—such some 
of her revelations of its necessary conditions. Do you not 
feel their force thrill through every fibre of your manhood? APPEAL TO MEN. 
7 
Do you not sense in your inmost soul that this plea has 
been born out of the depths of the great Heart of Deity, of 
which the Mother is the true exponent ? Docs it not stir 
within you a high and chivalrous resolve to do your part, 
whatever it may be, to aid woman in ushering in on earth 
the era of a nobler maternity ? 
But what is our part ? Before we undertake to ascer- 
tain this, let us look at some of the facts to be seen around 
us, by observant eyes, in every community—yea, in almost 
every family—showing the power of parents, and especially 
of the mother and her surroundings, over the character 
and destin}' of offspring. I will confine myself to a few 
which have come to my own knowledge, and have never 
before appeared in print. 
II. A FEW FACTS. 
How Beauty and Amiability were conferred.—A mother, 
well known to the writer, at an early stage in pregnancy, had 
her attention drawn to a beautiful figure of a child, in wax, 
exhibited in a shop-window in one of our cities. It had a 
lovely face, indicative of an amiable character, and it 
greatly pleased the lady’s fancy. She frequently visited 
the spot in order to feast her eyes upon its pleasing features, 
and brought the energies of her soul to bear in an endeavor 
to transfer them to the unfolding germ within. When her 
child, a daughter, was born, its features were an almost 
exact copy of those of the beautiful figure, markedly different 
from the features of any other of the family (she has five 
other children); and this daughter, now a full-grown 
woman, has developed a character of corresponding beauty 
and loveliness. 
now a Tattler and Busybody was made.—A physician 
narrated to the writer the following case : A young wife, 8 
THE BETTER WAY 
living in comfortable circumstances, relieved from the ne- 
cessity of taking any part in household labors during her 
first pregnancy, but having no disposition for self-improve- 
ment, and no thought of the effect of her conduct upon her 
offspring, became indolent, and spent a large part of her 
time at the street-windows, watching the movements of her 
neighbors, and speculating about their affairs, or in gossip- 
ing with such as were as idle as herself. Her child, a boy, 
is now the pest of the whole neighborhood where he re- 
sides, on account of his idle and dissolute habits, and his 
propensity for an inquisitive prying into the affairs of 
everybody about, and babbling of the same to all who will 
listen. 
Timidity transmitted.—A wife became encAente uninten- 
tionally, at an unfavorable time. Her husband and herself 
had planned to erect a new dwelling that season, and, in 
the occupations and bustle incident to this enterprise, the 
interests of the unborn were overlooked. The mother, over- 
burdened with domestic cares and labors, found little oppor- 
tunity for seclusion and repose, and was continually striving 
to conceal her state from the rude men, mechanics and labor- 
ers, who were employed on the premises. In due time a 
child was born; but instead of being, as it should have 
been, a joy to its parents, it was feeble, extremely irritable, 
and nervously afraid of strangers. When any person with 
whom it was not familiar entered the house, it would set 
up a violent screaming, and could not be pacified. “ What 
does ail this child ?” was the frequent, puzzled query of the 
mother, as she witnessed these annoying freaks. Had she 
remembered her own habit of shrinking from strangers, 
while carrying the child, she would have had the answer. 
This child, as it grew up, continued to manifest the same 
excessive timidity, often running to hide in the house if a A.N APPEAL TO MEN. 
9 
stranger was seen to approach ; and this troublesome trait 
will doubtless cling to it more or less through life. Many, 
indeed, suffer all their lives from excessive bashfulness, 
which no doubt has a similar origin. 
How a Roving Disposition was imparted.—A child well 
known to the writer was begotten at a time when its parents 
were about removing to a new location, with a change in 
business, and high hopes of improving their worldly condi- 
tion. In due time they were gladdened by the birth of a 
vigorous and healthy boy. Hut as he grew up, while in 
many respects the pride and joy of his parents, he developed 
a propensity for roving about and visiting new places—an 
indisposition to remain long at any employment or in any 
locality. When earnestly remonstrated with for this ten- 
dency, by his parents, ou one occasion, when about tifteen 
years of age, he burst out, through a shower of tears, with 
these significant words : “ Well, I don’t know what makes 
me do so; I know it is not best; but there is something in me 
which continually says, ‘ Go ! Go !’ and I can't stay long in 
any place 1” These words conveyed to his parents a solu- 
tion of the whole matter. In the circumstances under 
which the boy was begotten, the impulse to “go,” the de- 
sire of change, had been infused into the very elements of 
his being. I low could he be expected to do otherwise than 
act it out ? To show that such cases arc not hopeless, it 
should be added that when the cause of this tendency came 
to be understood by both the young man and his parents, and 
reason thus brought to bear upon it, it was in a few years 
corrected, and at the age of twenty-three he was able to 
settle down at a useful profession. 
Slyness and Thieving—how entailed.—The following narra- 
tive was received from the lips of a physician in one of our 
large cities:—Said an anguish-riven father, whose first-born 10 
THE BETTER WAY : 
son had just been committed to the penitentiary for the 
crime of larceny, “ I am glad my boy is there at last I—it is 
the best place for him, poor child ! And I hope he will be 
kept there the rest of his life 1” 
“Why do you say so ?” asked a friend. 
“ Because I am satisfied he can never refrain from 
taking what does not belong to him, if free. It was born in 
him. And all because I was in such haste to lay up money!” 
he added with a tone of deep grief. 
“ Will you tell me how it happened ?” he was asked. 
“Yes. When I was married, I thought that for the first 
year I and my wife could live more cheaply by remaining 
with my mother in the old homestead. We did so. My 
wife was timid and bashful in the presence of her mother- 
in-law, and never felt at home. She soon became pregnant, 
and in that condition had her cravings for articles of deli- 
cacy, which she did not dare indulge in my mother’s pres- 
ence. She would obtain and secrete bits of cake, preserves 
and other niceties, as she found opportunity, and would 
eat them in her own room or out of sight. After our boy 
was born, and had become sufficiently grown to sit at the 
table, we noticed that he would never eat, while there, any 
piece of pie, cake, or other delicacy that was offered him, 
but if possible would secrete a piece and go away slyly in a 
corner, or behind a door, and greedily devour it there. At 
first we thought this was only an amusing freak of child- 
hood, and called it cunning. But after a time it became 
annoying ; we wondered at it, and tried to break it up, but 
without avail. He soon began to take other things, but 
we thought it only a common childish fault, and hoped it 
would be outgrown. 
“ When he was but a few years oldv I took him one day 
to a store, to buy him a pair of shoes. His eye fell on a AN APPEAL TO MEN. 
11 
pair of boy’s boots which took his fancy, and he said he 
wanted them. I thought shoes preferable, and purchased 
a pair. When we reached home, I was pained to find that 
he had the boots hidden under his coat. I reprimanded 
him, reasoned with him, and tried to show him the wicked- 
ness of the theft; but he insisted that he wanted the boots, 
and was going to have them. I told him he must take 
them back, and tell the storekeeper he was sorry ; but he 
stubbornly refused. I compelled him to go with me and 
return the boots, but not a word of regret could I induce 
him to utter. From that time onward my troubles in- 
creased. In spite of all we could say or do, the boy would 
appropriate whatever he could lay his hands on that pleased 
his fancy. All my property has been spent in paying fines 
and rescuing him from the consequences of this evil pro- 
pensity ; the peace of my family has been destroyed, and I 
am a broken-hearted man—all for the sake of saving a few 
paltry dollars at the beginning of my married life 1 Poor 
boy 1 I know he cannot help stealing, and therefore I am 
glad he is where he can have no chance to steal 1” 
Think of it, reader! Blasted hopes—a ruined family— 
anguish-riven hearts—a wrecked life—“ all for a few paltry 
dollars 1” 
A Welcome Child.—In one family, with which the writer 
Is well acquainted, arc three children. The first two were 
undesired, and they exhibit various peculiar traits, such as 
were to have been expected from the conditions which pre- 
ceded their birth. Among these are occasional fits of de- 
spondency and gloom, when for the time life seems to have 
no interest, and the world no place for them, and they 
wonder why they were born. These are evidently but the 
reflex of the mother’s moods at times during their gesta- 
tion. 12 
THE BETTER WAY: 
The third was a welcome child. All the mother’s ener- 
gies were directed cheerfully and lovingly to its ante-natal 
fostering and culture. This child, now grown to young 
womanhood, is markedly different in temperament and 
general characteristics from either of the others. From 
her birth she was a sunbeam of joy in the household, never 
causing a sleepless hour, even in infancy, by petulance or 
irritability, and never a shadow of grief to her parents’ 
hearts. On the contrary, she has ever been a cheerful, du- 
tiful, helpful and happy child, loving and beloved by all 
who know her, within and without the family circle. She 
evidently feels that she has a right to be in the world, and 
that it has a place for her, and has a disposition to do all in 
her power to make the world better and happier. “Of 
such,” truly, “is the kingdom of heaven,” and when the 
earth is peopled with such, the kingdom of heaven will have 
come ! 
Craft, Treachery, cfcc.—Every one who has had opportu- 
nity of familiar acquaintance with the products of “ misce- 
genation,” as practiced in the southern section of our 
country in the days of slavery, must have remarked the al- 
most universal absence of truthfulness, manliness, and 
honesty in these illicit offspring of diverse races. The father 
belonging, in most instances, to a proud aristocracy of 
color, and the mother identified with a despised and down- 
trodden class, the commerce between the two has been al- 
most necessarily characterized by secrecy, lust and shame. 
Consequently the offspring, though in many instances en- 
dowed with marked intellectual capabilities and refine- 
ment of manner, are in general living embodiments of craft, 
treachery, selfishness and moral obliquity of various kinds. 
How Murderers are made.—Startling facts known to the 
writer might be given—(but for fear of adding further KS APPEAL TO MEN. 
pangs to hearts already wrung with anguish)—going to 
show that an attempt or desire on the part of a mother to 
destroy an embryo before birth, is likely, if unsuccessful, to 
result in producing a murdererI The mere indulgence of 
such a desire, it seems, though unexecuted, tends, by the 
action of psychical law, to implant a pre-disposition which 
makes even that most heinous of crimes as normal or natural 
to the child as is any other inborn tendency l 
This is a terrible thought, indeed, but who can deny its 
truth, in the light of such facts as have been already given? 
And it seems needless to add more, since those of similar 
import may be learned in almost every community, if only 
suitable inquiry be made. 13ut these facts suggest a few 
thoughts on a most important subject, to which your at- 
tention is asked before we proceed. That is— 
III TIIE SOURCE OF CRIME. 
The alarming prevalence and increase of crime, in almost 
all sections of our country, within the last few years, has 
attracted the anxious attention of moralists and legislators. 
Not long since, in Chicago, a commission was appointed 
“ to inquire into and report on the causes for the increasing 
prevalence of crime in that .city.” A leading and widely 
circulated public journal in an eastern city, noticing the re- 
port of this commission, says : 
“ They divide the causes of crime into two classes—the 
predisposing and the exciting. The first class is dismissed 
with a paragraph, and the latter is limited to the single ele- 
ment of habitual drinking.” 
“ Dismissed with a paragraph”! And that paragraph 
so unimportant that we are not even told its purport I 
has our influential journalist one word to say to supply the 
failure of the commission. This is the best that the press— 14 
THE BETTER WAY : 
the trusted “guardian of the public weal”—seems able to 
do for us in this momentous matter of the predisposing 
causes of crime. 
But our wise journalist dissents from the opinion that 
habitual drinking is the great cause of crime, though con- 
fessedly a prominent excitant thereto. His sage conclusion 
is that this cause is to be found in the non-enforcement of 
penal statutes. These are his words : 
“ In proportion as the laws to protect the rights of prop- 
erty and the sacredness of human life are imperfectly, par- 
tially or dishonestly administered, so also is the increase of 
crime.” 
I laid down the journal containing this wise dissertation, 
and took up another, published at the National Capital, in 
which I read these startling words : 
“ Two fearful murders, following with a day’s interval 
only between them, have occurred already this week in 
Washington. This state of affairs is sufficiently alarming 
to awaken the deepest solicitude,” etc., etc.* 
Well might this state of affairs awaken the deepest solic- 
itude ; for the very city where these murders had occurred 
had, only one week before, enjoyed the great moral lesson 
of two hangings for murder! That is the way the perfect 
administration of the laws deters from crime 1 
It is time we cease giving attention wholly to futile at- 
tempts to dam up this devastating stream, and look ear- 
nestly for its source. 
In the light of such facts as have been given in the fore- 
going pages, is it not plain where this source is to be found j* 
A predisposition to violence and murder was doubtless im- 
planted in these criminals before they were born, just as a 
roving disposition, or a tendency to theft, is implanted in 
others. 
♦■Washington Chronicle, of Dec. 25, 1873. AN APPEAL. TO MEN. 
15 
In a report on “Criminal Abortions in America,” pre- 
pared by the distinguished Dr. Storer, of Boston, and pub- 
lished under the sanction of the American Medical Associ- 
ation, in 1859, abundant evidences were given to show 
“that forced abortions in America are of very frequent oc- 
currence, and that this frequency is rapidly increasing, not 
in the cities alone, but in the country districts.” 
It may be safely assumed that if at that time abortions 
were very frequent and rapidly increasing, unsuccessful at- 
tempts at abortion were also frequent and Increasing in 
equal ratio. 
This sufficiently accounts for the fearful increase in crimes 
of violence and murder in years subsequent to the date above 
mentioned. 
And when the children begotten amid the strife and ani- 
mosities of the late war shall come upon the stage, we may 
look for a still more abundant harvest from the seeds of vio- 
lence then implanted. Thus it is that one war tends strong- 
ly to generate another within thirty years. 
Facts like those presented seem fully to justify the con- 
clusion that parents are directly responsible for the crimi- 
nals who prey upon society. And this responsibility must 
fall largely if not chiefly upon the fathers, for the reason 
that they in general act with greater freedom, or less sub- 
jection to circumstances, than do mothers, in the produc- 
tion of offspring. 
Fathers 1 let us look this matter squarely in the face. 
We who have caused children to be conceived and brought 
forth in shame, concealment or privation, whether within 
or without the pale of marriage ;—we who have robbed the 
mothers of our children of that to which no law or custom 
can give us any right, namely, the possession and control 
of their own bodies and souls ;—we whohave compelled the 16 
THE BETTER WAY : 
bearing of unwelcome burdens, and so have given rise to 
the murderous desire to be rid of them by unnatural means, 
perhaps fostering that desire by our own wicked counsel, 
or by lack of sympathy;—we are the chiefly responsible 
agents in this fearful work of making swindlers, thieves, rob- 
bers, murderers, and felons of every class ! Let us look in our 
prisons, our penitentiaries, on our scaffolds, and behold OUR 
work! 
Is not this a true charge ? Deny it, who can. 
Do we plead ignorance ? 
That plea may be of some avail as to the past, in view of 
the deplorable want of instruction on this momentous sub- 
ject—though every one of us who has erred in this regard 
must expect, sooner or later, in this world or the next, to 
confront the wronged victims of our ignorance and selfish- 
ness, to whom we must make such amends as we can ere 
our own souls can ever enter into rest. 
But the plea of ignorance will no longer avail. Now, my 
reader, we know'. And hereafter he or she who sins in 
this matter does so against light, and must expect to feel 
that sharpest sting of remorse—“ I knew my duty, but I did 
it not.” 
Facts of this class, when duly considered, will also teach 
us the charity we ought to feel towards criminals of every 
sort, and will suggest that means should be adopted for 
their cure, instead of the infliction of vindictive punishments 
which have so long been tried in vain. Ah ! verily— 
“The world needs a new theory of crime 
And retribution, based on all the facts 
And fixed in all the reason of the race— 
As full of hope as Christ’s great heart of love.” AN APPKAL TO MEN. 
17 
IV. THE KEY TO OTHER MYSTERIES. 
The facts hercin-beforc recited furnish us the key to many 
of the mysteries of human character and conduct. Noth- 
ing seems more fully established, through all history, than 
that the prominent states and characteristics of both pa- 
rents at the time of inception, as well as those of the 
mother during gestation, arc likely if not certain to be in- 
corporated into the very fibre and tissue of the new being 
that is originated. Here (to say nothing of tendencies in- 
herited from grand-parents and remoter ancestry) is the 
undoubted source of many of the peculiar traits, strange 
idiosyncracies, singular aversions, and absurd inconsisten- 
cies of character, as well as various physical maladies, 
which afflict so many of our children and curse society. 
And here we learn why it is that so large a portion of hu- 
manity are actuated by no genuine love of their kind, no 
noble and worthy purpose in life, no aspiration above self- 
interest and self-gratification. Their parents implanted no 
higher motive in the act which brought them into being. 
More than this, evidences point unmistakably to the 
conclusion that the indulgence of any evil desire or thought 
on the part of the mother, during the period of gestation, 
is likely to infuse, through the inevitable force of mental or 
psychical impression, a subtle moral virus into the very 
texture of the young life that is being so “marvellously 
wrought” within her own—a virus which poisons to a great- 
er or less extent the fountains of its being, blunts its moral 
sense, and thus deadens its realization in after life of the 
enormity of the vicious or criminal tendency which may 
be so implanted. Appalling to witness has been the indif- 
ference with which youth, unfortunately born, have con- 
fessed to the writer the criminal proclivities which they 
have inherited. 18 
THE BETTER WAY 
Kay, still more : there are strong reasons for believing 
that these entailed proclivities often assume in their unfor- 
tunate subjects the form of an imperative “must”—a seem- 
ingly uncontrollable impulse. It is common for murderers, 
kleptomaniacs, and other criminals, to plead that “ some- 
thing within them makes them” commit the crimes laid to 
their charge. What is this but the mysterious force of an 
inborn tendency ? 
On the other hand, it is undoubtedly the mother’s priv- 
ilege, at this critical period, to so prepare and elevate her- 
self, by proper living and pure aspirations, that her soul 
may be constantly bathed in hallowed effluxes from celes- 
tial realms—truly “overshadowed by the power of the 
Highest.” By this means the newly-begotten one may be- 
come so harmoniously developed and so permeated by a di- 
vine and purifying influx, that with no irreverence it may 
be termed, as was Mary’s babe of old, a “holy one,” and, 
like that child, may grow up to walk among men as a true 
son or daughter of God. 
In brief, the law seems to be that, such is the intimate 
connection between the mother and the embryo, the exer- 
cise of any faculty of her mind or soul, or of any organ of 
her brain or body, stimulates and develops in proportion- 
ate degree the corresponding faculty or organ in the incip- 
ient child. 
Thus it is that the iniquities as well as the excellences 
of parents are transmitted to their children, even for many 
generations. And hence it is in the power of the mother 
intelligently and wisely to shape or to greatly modify the de- 
velopment, in the germ, of all the powers and tendencies 
of her expected offspring. 
In fact, it is for the mother, by the use of appropriate 
means (provided a sufficient organic capacity has been ger- AN APPEAL TO MEN. 
19 
minally contributed by the father, and provided, also, tho 
mother’s efforts are properly seconded by the father), to pro- 
duce a poet, a thinker, an artist, an inventor, a philanthro- 
pist, or any other type of manhood or womanhood, desira- 
ablo or undesirable, as she will. By an intelligent exercise 
and direction of her own mental and psychical forces, in an 
orderly and systematic manner, during the development of the 
embryo, she may determine with almost unerring certainty 
the bent and career of her unborn child I 
This may be a new and startling truth to some, but in 
the light of constantly accumulating facts its refutation 
may safely be challenged. It has been generally taught, 
indeed, and piously believed, that God determines or “fore- 
ordains, according to his inscrutable good pleasure,” tho 
characters and “gifts” as well as destinies of individuals. 
But it is now apparent that in this, as in all things 
else, ho works through instrumentalities; and these in- 
strumentalities are the men and women who stand in the 
relation of parents. 
What follows from the recognition of this tremendous 
truth cannot be fully delineated here ; nor can the momen- 
tous subject of pre-natal culture be adequately treated in 
these pages. 
That the mother’s spiritual states and mental activities, 
as well as her physical surroundings and employments, du- 
ring such period, are or may be greatly affected by the 
father, is evident to every one. He may do much to make 
or to mar suitable conditions. By the line of conduct 
which he pursues, the topics of thought which he presents, 
and the aid or hindrance he offers in her efforts at pre-natal 
culture, he may help to beautify and ennoble, or to disfigure 
and ruin, the work of High Art in which his companion is 
engaged. Indeed, so intimate is the relation usually sub- 20 
THE BETTER WAY : 
sisting, and which ought always to subsist, between the 
mother and the father at this period, that even his unex- 
pressed thoughts and desires are likely to act upon her sen- 
sitive organism, and through her upon the more sensitive 
embryo. 
In the facts and considerations thus presented, have we 
not plainly the key also to a means within human control, 
under the beneficent laws of the universe, whereby our 
homes and our world may be peopled with beings of beauty, 
health, nobleness, love, and joy ? That means evidently is 
a wise and intelligent Motherhood, aided and sustained by 
a worthy and noble Fatiierhood. 
We are now prepared to advance, and to consider som'e 
of the 
F. DUTIES OF FATHERHOOD. 
What, then, brothers, in the light of the truths now be- 
fore us, are some of the duties devolving upon those of us 
whose high privilege it is to stand in the relation of fathers 
to the children of the future ? 
Obviously our first duty is— 
Personal Preparation. 
If, in reproducing ourselves, there is a likelihood that we 
may reproduce not only our bodily weaknesses and ills, but 
also our mental and moral obliquities—our foibles, mean- 
nesses, defects and overpluses of whatever kind—to plague 
and curse those whom our hearts would prompt us only to 
bless, then surely it behooves us first to attain the best pos- 
sible conditions of health and soundness, in every respect, 
of which we are capable. Our bodies should be in the high- 
est vigor in every part—our minds clear, serene, and duly 
active in every faculty—our wills strong with a delib- AN APPEAL TO MEN 
21 
erate purpose—our consciences void of any stain—and 
our spirits buoyant with hope and alive with good-will to 
all our race. 
Above all things, one should never participate in that 
holiest of sacraments in which a new life is begotten, undor 
the impulse of unregulated passion or untutored desire. In 
the procreative act, man most nearly approaches the high- 
est prerogative of the Creator. In it he enters the vesti- 
bule of the most sacred of Nature’s mysteries, and stands 
in the very presence-chamber of the Most High. How 
dare he profane the hallowed precincts with unclean hands 
or an impure heart ? With what decency can he present 
himself when steeped in the fumes of alcohol, tobacco, or 
any other noisome thing—especially any thing which stim- 
ulates lustful desire V Let him lirst “ cleanse himself from 
all filthiness of the tlesh and of the spirit,” before he pre- 
sumes to worship in this holy of holies. Let him seek to 
have his whole nature so permeated and purified by the 
divine spirit, that all inherited evil tendencies shall be 
made quiescent for the time, and so the deposited germ bo 
free from all taint of moral virus, as well as of physical dis- 
ease. This is for those who earnestly seek it. 
No man should allow himself to become the victim of a 
blind impulse, as is the brute. If passion is aroused, let 
him wait until it subsides, and he becomes fully master of 
himself. Surely, in this noblest, most important and most 
responsible of all acts, man should have self-possession, in- 
telligent purpose, full preparation, and the highest inspira- 
tion. Only when in his best estate can one expect that the 
Divine, through him, will enstamp clearly Ilis own perfect 
image on the new being coined by his instrumentality. 
Otherwise what else can he look for than that the creative 
electric fiat, that, out from the great ocean of deific energy 22 
THE BETTER WAY ! 
surrounding us on every side, converges through his organ- 
ism to enkindle a new life, will carry with it some portion 
of his own foulness to mar the begotten germ ? * 
Though all the mysteries of hereditary transmission may 
not as yet have been fathomed by the physiologist, enough 
is known to render it probable, if not certain, that the male 
parent contributes the basis of the new being—that is, the 
capacity and fundamental characteristics of the offspring, 
which are more or less modified and clothed upon by the 
female. This being the case, it follows that whatever im- 
perfections or evil tendencies are implanted by the father 
will be more deeply-seated and difficult to eradicate by any 
processes of education or discipline, than are those derived 
from the mother ; and they usually come to the surface and 
manifest themselves in the character later in life. This 
consideration renders thorough personal preparation on the 
part of the father doubly important. 
Such preparation as is here indicated is not the work of 
an hour, a day, or a month. In fact, the whole previous 
life is none too long to be devoted to such a work. And 
why should not the whole life be devoted to true living, in 
all respects, and in the best and noblest manner ? What 
tight has one to inflict upon a helpless and innocent child 
the results of a life of sensualism and debauchery, or even 
of thoughtless indifference to the nobler aims of existence? 
The man who takes care thus to prepare himself will of 
course take care to select a partner in the noble work who 
has made a like preparation. lie will abstain from all 
Selection of a Partner—Mutual Love. 
# A charge of electricity, when passing from one object to another, often 
imprints an image of the former upon the latter ; or, if it passes through a 
portion of the atmosphere, it may gather the impurities therefrom and en- 
stamp them upon the next object it enters. AN APPEAL TO MEN. 
23 
waste of his life-forces among wantons, and from all im- 
pure and promiscuous associations. lie will carefully 
choose for a companion one who is adapted by tempera- 
ment,* by physical and mental conformation, and by mor- 
al and spiritual culture, to take part in so momentous an 
undertaking. And he will be careful to keep free from the 
bewitching entanglements of blind magnetic attraction, so 
often mistaken for “ love,” until a wise choice can be made. 
Love, in its best sense,—that is, mutual affection, of the 
strongest character,—beyond all question, should be an in- 
dispensable pre-requisite to the begetting of offspring. But 
this means something vastly more than mere sexual attrac- 
tion, which so many mistake for it,—more, even, than the 
mutual personal idolization which many conceive it to be. 
Nothing is worthy to be called love which has not in it, 
as its chief element, the desire to bless and make happy its 
object, rather than to possess for selfish gratification. Self 
and self-gratification are always in abeyance, and ready to 
be sacrificed for the good of the loved, in the true lover. 
Beyond this, there should be, in those who would come 
into conjugal union for the production of offspring, an in- 
timate and sweet blending of their whole natures, from high- 
est to lowest, or from the inmost to the outmost planes. 
This blending, where it exists, is a perpetual source of mu- 
tual delight, satisfaction, repose. It should commence in 
the highest or inmost department of being—that is, in the 
religious, emotional, or spiritual—in order to be deepest 
and most lasting. Thence, as from the inmost centre, it 
should extend outwardly, through the moral, the ajstheti- 
cal, the intellectual, the social, to the physical plane. 
Such a blending is indicated by harmony of emotions, 
* Like temperament*, a* Indicated by like complexions, color of tho 
eye# etc., it U generally conceded, do not blend to the best advantage. 
Such should not marry, with tho intention of raising offspring. * 24 
THE BETTER WAY : 
sentiments, tastes, convictions, etc. ; and where it exists 
the union is complete, and may continue with augmenting 
delight, for aught that appears, to all eternity. And its re- 
sults in offspring (other conditions being favorable) may be 
expected to be correspondingly perfect, since they will then 
be likely to be generated in a complete interblending of all 
departments of the being. 
But if harmony exists in only a part of the scale, as evinc- 
ed by concord in some things, and discord or repugnance 
in others, the union of souls is incomplete, and likely to be 
ephemeral; and the results in offspring will be correspond- 
ingly imperfect. 
The above is believed to be a statement of the law of con- 
jugal harmony and permanence, which cannot be success- 
fully controverted. 
It is evident that in many if not the majority of cases, in 
these times, the process pointed out is reversed. That is, 
the attraction, or blending (if any exists), is first and strong- 
est* on the physical or sexual plane. Physical charms 
form the chief attraction, while the requirements of the 
higher nature are more or less ignored. The parties often 
never stop to seriously inquire whether there is any real 
blending of soul, in the spiritual, religious, moral, aesthetic, 
or even intellectual departments of their being. They rust 
to the gratification of the desires of the flesh ; and the con- 
sequences are, these soon turn to disgust,—their offspring 
(if such result) are children of lust, often of discord and 
hate, badly organized and full of antagonisms,—and the 
relation is sooner or later dissolved, or continues only as a 
hateful bondage. Such is the history of married life in too 
many cases. It is time that men and women learned to 
proceed more wisely in a matter so profoundly important 
to all the best interests of human existence. AN ArrEAL TO MEN. 
25 
To a neglect of such preparations, and such care in the 
selection of partners, as have here been suggested, is owing 
the fact that so large a portion of humanity is literally “con- 
ceived in sin and begotten in iniquity”—or at best chance- 
begotten and undesired—growing up to curse the earth 
from generation to generation with new harvests of wicked- 
ness and crime. 
O brothers ! fathers ! is not this the very truth of God ? 
Presume not, then, I implore you, to put it aside, on any 
consideration. 
Favokarle Circumstances 
Another evident duty is, never to enter upon that sacred 
mystery which gives origin to a new life, until she who is 
to become the mother is placed in circumstances favorable 
to the worthy discharge of the aoblc function of maternity. 
This means more, perhaps, than may be thought at first- 
blush. 
(a) Public Recognition. It implies, first, an honorable 
recognition before friends and the community in which you 
dwell, of the relation in which this woman is to stand to 
you, and you to her, and of a mutual intention to fulfil all 
the obligations growing out of that relation. 
This is the main object, doubtless, of the institution of 
Marriage. Marriage laws, as they now exist, may be, and 
unquestionably arc in many instances, unwise and oppres- 
sive in some of their provisions—perhaps are “relics of feu- 
dal barbarism,” unadapted to the age in which we live. 
But that is no sufficient reason for discarding all law, all 
obligation, and all public recognition in this matter. 
It is a law of woman's nature that she cannot fulfil the 
function of maternity in entire concealment, and that she 
cannot fulfil it in the best manner without the full conscious- 26 
THE BETTER WAY : 
ness of her right to do it, and that this right is conceded by 
those about her—especially those whom she esteems. In 
the acutely sensitive and impressible condition which ma- 
ternity brings, no woman, however strong in her own con- 
victions of right, can at all times resist the psychical in- 
fluence which the thoughts and feelings, even unspoken, of 
those around her exert. This influence, through the moth- 
er, reaches the embryo, and enstamps upon it mental and 
moral characteristics which it will bear through life. 
Hence the depressed and abashed demeanor, the sense of 
loneliness and sadness, the want of self-respect and dignity, 
usually observed in illegitimate offspring, and often, too, in 
offspring called legitimate, on whom similar influences have 
made their mark. Whatever may be the abstract “rights” 
of parties in this matter, it is a fearful wrong to inflict such 
a life-long incubus upon a helpless child. Ho man, with a 
spark of manhood in his nature, will he guilty of such a 
wrong. 
If our marriage institution, as defined by existing laws, 
be imperfect, then let us earnestly set about improving it. 
If its laws in any respect contravene the laws of nature and 
of right, so as to prevent the march of improvement in hu- 
manity’s most vital interest, then let us disregard and defy 
them, if need be, in obedience to the higher law. That 
may he the speediest or the only way to secure their improve- 
ment. But let us act openly, honorably, and above-board, 
doing nothing which we are ashamed to acknowledge and 
defend before our fellow-men and high heaven, manfully 
taking the consequences of all that we do. 
(b) A suitable Home. Another law of maternity is, that 
the mother should have a home of affection, quiet and har- 
mony, wherein she can have all the repose and seclusion 
which her nature demands for the successful performance AN APPEAL TO MEN. 
27 
of this, its highest task. And to every woman of taste 
and refinement, this must be one of some degree of elegance, 
as well as of comfort. Until this can be secured to the mo- 
ther, no man has a right to expect of her the assumption 
of this task—nor has she, in justice to the unborn, any 
right to assume it. 
Freedom. 
Another plain duty is, never to enter upon that most sa- 
cred of mysteries without the free and full concurrence of 
the partner. 
Every woman should be allowed to feel, at all times and 
under all circumstances, that she is the absolute owner of 
her own person, and especially has the right to control 
those functions which are her peculiar glory. Only her- 
self can determine when and by whom they should be call- 
ed into exercise. Only herself can know when her organ- 
ism has been prepared—as it should in all cases be—by 
celestial influxes, as well as physical conditions, to properly 
receive and mature the germ of an immortal being. 
Intrusion here is a most flagrant outrage against nature, 
no matter what sanction it may have in perverted religious 
teachings or in man-made laws. “Marital rights” usually 
means marital wrorvjs. The law written in woman’s con- 
stitution cries out against such outrages, though its voice 
may have been unheeded through all the centuries. And 
the consequences of the violation of this law are written in 
the history of violence and outrage, on the one hand, and 
of cringing submission on the other, which blacken the an- 
nals of humanity in all past time. These are but the fruits 
of seed too often implanted in the very genesis of human 
beings. 
Do you wish your child to grow up an imperious despot, 
regardless of the personal rights, interests or feelings of 28 
THE BETTER WAY : 
others, bent only on its own selfish gratification at what- 
ever cost ? Then do not infuse into the very elements of 
its germ the virus from which those qualities will surely 
develop. Or do you wish your offspring to be a cringing, 
abject-creature, always doubting its right to exist, to think 
or to act without the behest of some lordly despot—its soul 
often filled with updefinable fears of some impending terror? 
Then do not place the mother, in the very act of its incep- 
tion, nor at any subsequent period, in the mental attitude 
which is likely to enstamp these traits upon the child. 
Sometimes we see both the traits above described em- 
bodied in the same person, and each alternately in the as- 
cendant—forming a bundle of contradictions which are a 
puzzle to himself and to all around him. The foregoing 
hints furnish a key to all such mysteries. 
Independence. 
To the end that woman may feel that she is always the 
owner of her own person, it is plainly important that she 
should be ever independent and self-supporting. 
So long as she sells herself for a home, a livelihood, or the 
“ protection of a man,” she can have no genuine freedom, 
but is liable to experience “ the protection which wolves af- 
ford to lambs. ” In the nature of things, she cannot feel 
free to assert her own rights or wishes, with reference to 
maternity or any other thing, so long as she is or feels her- 
self to be dependent on any man for the means of support. 
If on entering a marriage partnership, a woman holds 
no property in her own right, and continues in no outside 
remunerative occupation, her husband should remember 
that her services in making home what a home should be, 
and surely in bearing the burdens of maternity, are above 
all price, and entitled to any pecuniary compensation AN APPEAL TO MEN. 
29 
which it is ordinarily in his power to make. Their money- 
value, if they can be said to have one, is at least equal to 
that of man’s services in any capacity. This is a point too 
little considered by either husbands or wives ; and the lat- 
ter too generally arc ready to regard themselves as earning 
nothing, but merely suj/ported by their husbands—from 
whom they must virtually beg such pittances as they from 
time to time require. In any case where a wife performs 
her part with ordinary fidelity, she may fairly be considered 
as entitled to one-half the income, whatever it be, and to 
the same freedom in the use of her share as has the hus- 
band of his. This being conceded, she will have a sense of 
equality and self-reliance which in other circumstances is 
impossible. At all events, this matter of the wife’s pecuniary 
independence should be settled at the outset, in some way, 
beyond recall. If not secured by public law, let it be by 
private contract, faithfully respected. 
The growing demand among womet, at this day, for bet- 
ter opportunities of self-support, for equal compensation 
for the same service, and for equal political privileges that 
these benefits may be secured, springs from an intuitive 
and just desire for independence, and should be seconded 
by all true men. 
True, if we wish to hold a woman solely by affection, we 
must make ourselves attractive. If we would be loved, wo 
must be loveable. This wo cannot be while selfishness, 
love of domination, ungoverned passion, grossness, filthi- 
ness of habit, meanness, or unmanliness of any sort, is 
predominant in us. Be noble, generous, just, self-sacrific- 
ing, continent, manly in all things,—and no woman worthy 
of you can help loving you, in the best sense of that word. 
When a woman, in perfect freedom, pure affection, and 
full trust, offers herself on the altar of dexired maternity, 30 
THE BETTER WAY ; 
then, and only then, is she worthy your partnership in the 
holy relation of parentage. 
Do not these suggestions, my brothers, commend them- 
selves to your better judgment ? Then fail not, I entreat 
you, to make them the guide of your lives. 
Attention during the Critical Period. 
The germ of a young immortal having been wisely im- 
planted, its nurture and development through the whole 
period of gestation should be guarded with equal care. 
The father should see to it that she who has taken this 
precious germ in charge is relieved from all other charges 
that would interfere with its best unfoldment—that no 
labors, cares or responsibilities come upon her, other than 
such as will give the desirable exercise and play to all her 
powers. While over-fatigue and exhaustion should be 
avoided on the one hand, on the other, indolence, listless- 
less and ennui are perhaps still greater evils. 
During this period the mother should be shielded as far 
as practicable from contact with disagreeable persons, from 
all repulsive objects, from the knowledge of painful and 
shocking occurrences, and especially from all inharmonies 
in the domestic circle—in short, from any and everything 
which, through her mind, may make an undesirable im- 
pression upon the sensitive embryo. While it is doubtless 
desirable that the mother should, by self-discipline and 
self-reliance, as far as possible, fortify herself against the 
disastrous effects of sudden shocks, yet it is not well to in- 
cur needless risks in this direction. Man is constitution- 
ally more positive and less impressible than woman. 
Hence the husband should surround and insphere the wife 
by his more positive atmosphere, to shield her from all ad« 
verse influences. AN ArrEAL TO MEN. 
31 
During this early stage of growth, the embryo being has 
Its peculiar needs. The effort of nature is to supply it with 
all the elements necessary for its full development, accord- 
ing to its type. If anything is lacking in either parent, or 
unsupplied in the mother’s ordinary aliment or associations, 
she is made to feel a craving for it, often from strange and 
seemingly whimsical sources. These cravings may have 
respect to mere physical elements, as found in foods, liquids, 
etc., or to mental, moral, social, aisthetic and spiritual 
qualities, to be absorbed from the atmospheres of the proper 
persons. Probably these cravings will be less extravagant 
or erratic in proportion as the mother pursues a well 
regulated and j udicious system of diet. The father, indeed, 
should be a reservoir from which may bo drawn all manly 
elements, all desired masculine qualities. But the mother 
alone can judge of her requirements in these matters. Her 
leadings, at least if she live purely and wisely, are the mo- 
nitions of the Divine Artist working marvellously in secret, 
and should be religiously heeded. 
In the important work of Pre-Natal Culture, by which 
the mother may, as previously suggested, through the 
systematic and wise exercise of her own powers and facul- 
ties, secure to her offspring a healthful and harmonious 
organism, with a bent in any desired direction, the father 
can render most essential service. But that point need not 
bo enlarged upon here. 
Lastly, under this head, it should be remembered that the 
mother needs the support of a generous sympathy and en- 
couragement at all times during the accomplishment of the 
perilous task of maternity, and especially in the hours of 
suffering, perhaps of foreboding, which are usually attendant 
upon it under even the best of circumstances. Its perils 
and dark hours will no doubt be rendered comparatively 32 
TIIE BETTER WAT: 
few and brief under such conditions as are herein advised. 
Yet in whose ear but the father’s can the expectant mother 
whisper all her anxieties ? On whose arm but his can she 
well lean for support and sympathy ? He must be less than 
human who can leave the mother of his child to meet the 
burdens and dangers of this trying period without the best 
and fullest aid which he is capable of rendering. 
The matron, when once her organism has entei’ed upon 
the work of developing a new life, should be left unmolested 
by intrusion upon that department of her being. The work 
cannot be well performed—it may be wofully defaced or 
ruined—if the energies of her system are drawn upon by 
additional demands upon the sexual organism. 
It would seem that, for most minds, little need be added 
to the forcible considerations on this point urged in the 
treatise on “ Motherhood,” referred to in the opening pages 
of this tract. But as a contrary opinion is somewhat 
prevalent, an additional suggestion or two may not be out 
of place. 
It is affirmed that the ministration of the opposite sex is 
sometimes demanded during the period of gestation, and 
more strongly than at any other time ; some even claiming 
it to be necessary to the development of the embryo, and to 
give strength in bearing the burden. 
It is possible a fetus begotten in lust and enstamped with 
excessive desire may incite in the mother demands in this 
direction during its incipient stages,—as infants so begotten 
are sometimes known to manifest erotic impulses while in 
the mother’s lap. Whether indulgence on the mother’s part 
will tend to increase, or denial to diminish, this tendency, 
may not be known; but it is most earnestly urged that 
No Intrusion. AN APPEAL TO MEN. 
33 
children shouhl not be so begotten. The consequences of im- 
planting this tendency in excess need not be portrayed. 
Society is seething with them on every hand. 
Besides, who can tell how far this seeming demand of the 
mother in the direction alluded to is merely a sympa- 
thetic response to the unchastened desires of the father? 
His ungoverned impulses are almost sure to react upon her 
sensitive organism, especially if the two continue, as is the 
common but unwise custom, to occupy the same bed. It 
is well to scrutinize closely, before we decide what are “ na- 
ture’s authoritative demands ” in such a case. 
At all events, the intuitions of the mother, when against 
the practice referred to, should never be violated. The 
whole nervous force of her system—the whole energies of 
her being—in ordinary cases at least, are undoubtedly re- 
quired for the proper discharge of the maternal duty she 
has undertaken. Any activity of the sexual department 
tends to draw away these forces from their proper action, 
and so mars their work ; while, under the action of laws 
already set forth, it can scarcely fail to stimulate a cor- 
responding activity of the same department in the embryo, 
resulting in exaggerated proclivities in a direction not to be 
desired. 
The same remarks apply to the whole period of lactation 
or nursing as well as to gestation. So long as the young 
life is drawing its sustenance from the mother’s organism, 
she should not be taxed with other demands upon the pro- 
creative function. Else the offspring is robbed of its just 
due. What is meaner than to rob a helpless infant of its 
proper nutriment ? 
And this immunity of the mother should extend to thoughts 
as well as to acts. For thoughts are things I They are 
penetrative forces, whose power is felt, though their sub- 34 
THE BETTER WAY : 
stance is not seen. Lascivious and lustful thoughts affect 
the sensitive organism of the mother, and the more sen- 
sitive embryo she carries, to an extent of which few except 
the highly sensitive are aware. To abstain from these, as 
well as from all intrusive acts, is a duty which no father 
can disregard with impunity. 
No Profanation-. 
Another plain duty of every father, and of every man 
as well, is to cease to regard the procreative function, or 
the mystery of sex and the organs which express it, as 
something base and filthy, fit themes for coarse jokes and 
obscene iests. No true man can be guilty of such profana- 
tion. 
Nothing can be nobler or more Godlike than the worthy 
use of a function so nearly allied to the Creator’s preroga- 
tive, the highest function of organic life—and so nothing 
is baser, viler, or more ruinous, than its misuse. Every 
function, every organ, should be sacredly consecrated to its 
best uses. When this is done, it becomes a powerful means 
of elevation, instead of degradation, to the individual and 
the race. 
Never should the maternal function, or the condition of 
pregnancy, be made the subject of lewd jeers or leering 
looks. Such things cannot occur in the presence or with 
the knowledge of a matron when in the exercise of that 
function without producing more or less effect, through the 
mother’s mind, upon the susceptible embryo—an effect 
which is likely to manifest itself in after years in a foolish 
squeamishness, a needless shrinking, at the mention of 
subjects pertaining to the origin of life. From this almost 
every one of us is suffering at this day, however earnestly 
we may desire to know the truth for useful ends. This un- A.N APPEAL TO MEN. 
35 
reasoning squeamishness, more than all things else, pre- 
vents the full enlightenment of the public on topics con- 
fessedly most vital to human welfare. 
There is, no doubt, a native and proper modesty relative 
to the procreative function and its symbols—an instinc- 
tivo shrinking from exposure to unhallowed eyes—on the 
part of all refined and cultured people, and even of most 
savages, which proceeds from an intuitive sense of sacred- 
ness ; but this is quite another thing than the false shame 
born of profanation. 
No man who remembers that he was born of a woman, 
through pains and agonies which he can never comprehend, 
can indulge in such irreverence without sacrificing his 
manliness ; and no father can participate in it, or fail to re- 
buke it in others, without proving himself unworthy the 
honor of fatherhood. 
Suppoiit and Education of Offspiiing. 
Lastly, the duty of a father to provide properly for the 
support and education of his children, that they may bo 
duly fitted for self-support and lives of usefulness when 
grown up, is too generally conceded to need remark here. 
To abstain from bringing them into the world until there is 
a reasonable prospect of ability to do this, would seem 
equally obligatory. 
There is, however, a sentiment somewhat prevalent, 
that it is the duty of the State to assume the care and edu- 
cation of every child that is born within its jurisdiction ; 
and hence that individual fathers are not bound to give 
themselves any concern about it. No doubt it is far better 
that the State should charge itself with the duty of seeing 
that every child is properly educated, than that a portion 
should be left to grow up in vicious ignorance to prey upon 
otnei-3. But when a man claims a right to bring children 36 
THE BETTER WAY : 
into the world for his own gratification, but for others to 
support and educate, shirking that responsibility himself, 
he proves himself so lacking in the qualities of honor and 
manhood as to unfit him to be the father of any child. Such 
base unmanliness ought not to be propagated to another 
generation. 
But too few fathers take sufficient pains to intelligently 
inform themselves as to what is the best system and what 
the best methods of ordinary education. Too many are 
content with supplying their children with anything called 
a school, provided it costs little. Consequently our boasted 
common schools in general are far from what they should 
be. In them, with some exceptions, our children are sub- 
jected to unnatural and absurd methods of bodily restraint 
and mental cramming, till at length they are sent forth in- 
to life often with impaired physical constitutions, utterly 
ignorant of the laws of health or true living, with little 
practical training for life’s duties,—frequently with an utter 
disgust for books, study, or any means of self-culture,—or, 
again, with intellects precociously active, but morals like 
an unweeded garden. 
If children are rightly born, in accordance with the views 
hereinbefore set forth, their subsequent training, both men- 
tal and moral, will be a comparatively easy matter. Tet it 
is a matter of great importance. It is not within the scope 
of the present treatise to set forth even an outline of a 
proper system of common education ; but every yhoughtful 
parent will see at once that it ought to provide for the har- 
monious development and healthy excercise of all the 
normal faculties and functions of the human being, physi- 
cal, mental, social, moral, spiritual. It should truly edu- 
cate the whole being, instead of merely cramming the mem- 
ory, or the intellect, at the expense of all other departments, 
and thus filling the world with human monstrosities. AN APPEAL TO MEN. 
37 
But there is one vitally important branch of instruction 
which is so generally neglected that special mention of it 
must not be omitted here. It is that which relates to the 
origin of life, and the uses and abuses of the sexual system. 
This should be carefully attended to before the child can 
become contaminated with corrupt ideas. The only safety 
here is not, as many i>ersuade themselves, in ignorance, 
but in knowledge, wisely and seasonably imparted. Igno- 
rance is certain exposure to danger, if not to ruin. From 
whom can such knowledge be so properly imparted to a 
child as from the originators if its being ? Fathers, as you 
value the welfare and happiness of those whom you have 
called into existence, I implore you, see to it that this mo- 
mentous matter is not neglected. 
VI. SOME OBJECTIONS ANSWERED 
IMPHACTIC ABILITY 
“ Your views are utopian am* impracticable. Men and 
women as they are will not practice such self-control and 
wise regard to results as you advise.” 
Answer. Men and women as they are—ignorant on these 
most important matters, knowing no better way than that 
in which their fathers and mothers have lived before them 
—arc not expected to do any better. But men and women 
may become enlightened—may learn that there is a better 
and nobler life than that in which they and the generations 
before them have grovelled and groaned. To those who 
are enlightened, that which was before impracticable, be- 
comes practicable. The object of these pages is to suggest 
and instruct in The Better Way, and if possible awaken 
an impulse to achieve it. 
2. Strength of the Sexual Impulse-Necessity, &c. 
“ The strength of the sexual impulse in men generally 38 
THE BETTER WAY 
is such that it cannot be restrained within the hounds pro- 
posed ; such restraint would be unnatural and injurious to 
health ; indulgence, more or less frequent, is a physical ne- 
cessity to men.” 
Answer. The strength of the sexual appetite in men is 
unquestionably the grand obstacle to the improvement of 
the race in the manner proposed. But the first question 
that arises is, Is this strength in all cases purely natural 
and healthy ? Unless it can be shown to be so, no one can 
rationally urge that its demands should be indulged to their 
full extent—much less, that the personal rights, the health, 
and happiness of the opposite sex, and the welfare of un- 
born generations, should be sacrificed to its indulgence. 
On the contrary, is it not obvious, on a moment’s reflec- 
tion, that this appetite must not only be susceptible of ex- 
aggeration, like all other appetites, but that it must have 
been increased and intensified in most of us beyond the 
simple requirements of nature, by the excesses of all past 
generations ? And not this alone, but that it is constantly 
stimulated and made unnaturally active by artificial habits 
of living, and still more by the impure conversation, thoughts 
and practices almost universally prevalent among men and 
boys from early childhood ? To all of which must be added 
the effects of habit, which are always cumulative in their 
tendency. 
They who have ever carefully noted the effect on them- 
selves of most kinds of alcoholic stimulants, of coffee, oys- 
ters, eggs, spices, and an excess of animal food of almost 
any kind,—and especially they who prefer these things be- 
cause of their stimulating effects in this direction,—as well 
as they who find pleasure in the filthy conversation and 
practices referred to,—cannot surely with any justice charge 
upon “ nature” the exuberance of their amatory desires. 
In so far, then, as this appetite is excessive in us beyond 
the requirements of nature and enlightened reason, it is AN APPEAL TO MEN. 
39 
unnatural and diseased. And it must be plain to the dullest 
apprehension, that, being unnatural and diseased, it should 
l>e subdued and regulated by the dictates of wisdom, for 
our own personal good, as well as for that of others. The 
same rule which common sense applies to inordinate appe- 
tites for food or drink applies equally here. 
The writer is well aware that it is no easy matter to ac- 
quire the mastery over a tendency strong by inherited force 
and increased, perhaps, by long and ignorant indulgence. 
Especially is this mastery difficult to those who have not 
learned the full meaning and the better uses of the sexual 
impulse, and know not the aids that arc available for its 
wise control. To all who arc struggling in such conditions 
he extends his heartfelt sympathy. But experience has 
proved that the mastery can be attained. A determined 
will—an earnest, constant aspiration for power from above 
to overcome—with a careful abstinence from exciting foods, 
drinks, acts and thoughts, and the use of appropriate 
means to allay excitement,—these, persisted in, will bring 
the victory in due time. 
As an aid in achieving this victory, it is important to 
know, what many have never been taught, that there are 
other uses for the procreative element than the generation 
of physical offspring—far better uses than its waste in mo- 
mentary pleasure. It may, indeed, be better wasted than 
employed in imposing unwelcome burdens on toil-worn and 
outraged women. But there should he no waste. It is too 
precious. It is the concentrated essence of all the life- 
forces of your being, distilled and compounded with mar- 
velous chemistry in the most wonderful.of laboratories. 
These are not. line words merely—they state a most unde- 
niable fact. This element when retained in the system— 
Better Uses of Procreative Force. 40 
THE BETTER WAY : 
the mental powers being properly directed—is in some way 
absorbed and diffused throughout the whole organism, 
replacing waste, and imparting a peculiar vigor in every 
part. It is taken up by the brain, and may be coined into 
new thoughts—perhaps new inventions—grand conceptions 
of the true, the beautiful, the useful—or into fresh emotions 
of joy, and impulses of kindness and blessing to all around. 
This, in fact, is hut another kind or department of pro- 
creation. It is the procreation of thoughts, ideas, feelings 
of good-will, intuitions of truth,—that is, it is procreation 
on the mental and spiritual planes, instead of the physical. 
And it is just as really a part of the generative f unction as is 
the begetting of physical offspring. Indeed, it is by far the 
larger part. For physical procreation can ordinarily be 
participated in but seldom (in monogamic marriage, usu- 
ally but about once in two years), and only for a temporary 
period in life ; while mental and spiritual procreation may 
and should go on perpetually through all our earthly lives 
—yea, through all our immortal existence. 
That this is no chimerical notion, but that it is largely 
by means of the element elaborated in the reproductive 
system that thoughts and emotions arc generated in the 
mind, as well as vigor in the body, is shown by the experi- 
ence probably of every intellectual person. Such persons 
(as a general if not universal rule, it is believed) at once 
become keenly sensible, in the brain, of the effects of semi- 
nal waste or depletion. Acute pain, with a sense of ex- 
haustion, and indisposition to effort, are the frequent conse- 
quences, in certain temperaments, at least. The same fact 
is also shown by the effects of self-abuse, especially when 
begun in childhood, which, as is well known, often results 
in idiocy, physical imbecility, and premature death. 
The importance, then, of seminal continence, to all who 
Value of Continence. AN AITEAL TO MEN 
41 
would maintain the highest condition of vigor, in body, 
mind, or spirit, cannot be too strongly urged. 
It is specially important to the growing youth, if he 
would attain the full development of all his powers ; and 
no one can estimate the deplorable loss to our country and 
the world, of mental and moral as well as physical power, 
which results from the ruinous habits so generally preva- 
lent among the youth of our land. 
To the mature man this continence is essential to the 
maintenance of a high tone of vitality and of manly vigor. 
On it deixmds the degree of positive or impregnative force 
which characterizes the individual in his mental activities. 
A speaker or writer who is addicted to waste in this de- 
partment, though he may talk and write with great pro- 
fuseness, may expect that his words will be comparatively 
powerless in their effect upon others. They will lack ger- 
minating jtower. Hut he who retains this clement, other 
forces being in proper balance, charges not only his words 
but his very atmosphere with a power which penetrates 
and begets new thoughts and new emotions in those with 
whom he comes in contact. 
Reserve is the grand secret of power everywhere. 
And when the tit time comes to exercise the crowning 
function of manhood—to impart the germ of a new immor- 
tal, who shall repeat oneself in a nobler type, to expand 
and rejoice through the eternities—he wTho has reserved 
his forces has at full command the elements requisite for 
the godlike purpose. 
There are periods, probably, in the life of every one, 
however well regulated, when sexual desire is powerfully 
stirred, and when continence may seem well-nigh impossi- 
ble. Such a period is the dawning of puberty in the robust 
youth ; and others occur in later years—markedly in times 
of great mental and religious or spiritual awakening, like 42 
THE BETTER WAY : 
the present era. Many imagine these to be seasons of 
special temptation from the Devil, while others regard them 
as indicative of Nature’s authoritative demand for sexual 
communication. Some, indeed, argue that the desire, be- 
ing natural, should therefore be gratified by seminal expres- 
sion—that this is “a physical necessity,” and repression a 
source of disease. 
But there is a wiser view. This impulse, (for the most 
part, at least) when rightly interpreted, merely indicates 
God’s or Nature’s method of begetting new life, new ideas, 
new conceptions, new emotions, and higher development 
generally, within ourselves. If the germinal element is ex- 
pended on the animal plane, the very means by which a 
higher interior life would be generated is lost. The men- 
tal and spiritual powers fail of the development they might 
otherwise reach. A tree from which large quantities of the 
vital sap are abstracted, will cease to put forth new and 
higher shoots ; but if the waste is stopped, and the current 
thus forced upward, more elevated branches arc sent forth. 
True, some men may waste much in the way referred to, 
and yet exhibit a good share of mental power; but such 
fall far short of what they might attain by the reservation 
of this force. 
The writer’s counsel, then, to those who are sorely 
tempted, is, Hold a firm rein, and see if something better 
than waste and shame may not be born of this impulse. 
But remember one thing which is essential to success, and 
that is—turn your mind to noble and manly things. Scorn lo 
think chiefly of self, and sefish gratifications. Study what 
good thing you can do to serve others ar.d bless mankind. The 
bent and occupancy of the mind is the thing of paramount 
importance. If low, groveling and selfish, it will land you 
in the ditch of sensualism. If elevated and noble, it will 
turn the current of your life-forces in higher channels, and AN APPEAL TO MEN. 
43 
grander thoughts, sweeter joys, purer delights, will be born 
within you. The continent youth will soon find his intel- 
lect blossoming with new ideas—perhaps fresh flowers of 
poesy ; and the maturcr man will realize the birth of grand- 
er conceptions, nobler resolves, higher life-purposes. 
This is a lesson from experience. And this knowledge of 
the priceless value of that which is so often thoughtlessly 
squandered will help you to self-control. 
It is hardly necessary to add, that such continence, in- 
stead of being “ unnatural,” as many affirm, is plainly the 
method of Nature for man’s upward progress. It is not 
“ repression” in any objectionable sense ; it is simply wiser 
direction. A stream of water, pursuing its lowest “ natu- 
ral” course, goes largely to waste; but throw across its 
natural channel the obstruction of a dam, and you raise it 
to a higher level. There its power becomes available, un- 
der “natural law,” for vastly higher uses. So with the 
procreative force in man. * In some lands, the streams 
pursue their “natural” wasteful course to the ocean, leav- 
ing the banks on either side dry and parched and sterile. 
By opening new channels, higher up, and giving a “ wiser 
direction” to the streams, they are made to irrigate the 
whole surrounding country, and thus cause the “ wilder- 
ness to blossom as the rose.” Indolence may object that 
this is “unnatural,” but good sense pronounces it The 
Better Way. 
And as to the healthfulncss of continence, try it 1 Avoid 
all known excitants of lustful desire, whether physical or 
* Since the foregoing was written, the author has met with the follow- 
ing remarkable passage from Laboulaye, which presents an unexpected 
corroboration : 
“ The passions tase the place in the soul which the will does not occupy; and 
there may yet be discovered a process by which passion may be transmuted 
into intellectual fibre. This is, indeed, the last and highest possibility of 
human culture.” 
The “ process” alluded to, so far as relates to the sexual or procreative 
passion, Is believed to l>e that dcscril>ed above. 44 
THE BETTER WAY : 
mental. Kemembcr that it is the action of the mind, 
chiefly, that stimulates excessive seminal secretion. They 
who constantly excite this secretion with obscene conver- 
sation and thoughts, or stimulate it with alcoholic drinks 
(fitly termed “the broth of hell”), or with coffee and the 
flesh of erotic animals, hotly spiced, can have no true 
health nor ever know its meaning. Their life is but a con- 
stant fever of burning desire, as far removed from health 
and happiness as hell is from heaven. Whatever may be 
the “ physical necessities” of such persons, their desires 
cannot surely be regarded as the healthful demands of na- 
ture. 
Shall I be cited to the proverbial crustiness, sourness, and 
shrivelled condition, in body and mind, of “old bachelors,” 
“ old maids,” and celibates in general ? Xot all are such. 
Some celibates are as generous, large-hearted, sweet-soul- 
ed, sunny and robust as are the happy parents of the lar- 
gest broods of children. And what makes the difference ? 
The fact that one becomes narrow, sour, and crabbed, is 
proof that the life-forces are not expended in noble and gen- 
erous thoughts, or unselfish deeds. In such cases, it will 
doubtless be found that the procreative element, if not 
wasted by self-abuse, is repressed and stagnated, instead 
of being turned in a higher channel, to its better uses. 
“Your views, if generally adopted, would overthrow the 
marriage institution, by making wives free from the control 
of their husbands, and leaving little inducement for men to 
enter the marriage relation.” 
Answer. If so, then let the institution be overthrown 1 
Human welfare, purity and progress are of far more worth 
than any and all institutions. The latter are of value 
only as they subserve human good. Any custom or ordi- 
nance, originating in the rudeness and ignorance of the 
past, which in this day delivers over one human being, 
3. Overthrow of Marriage. AN APPEAL TO MEN. 
45 
body and soul, to the ownership and the uses or abuses of 
another, deserves to be overthrown.- 
But it is one thing to seek a reform of marriage laws in 
the interest of justice, equality, purity and human improve- 
ment, and quite another to seek their abrogation in the in- 
terest of license and self-indulgence. It is the perfection of 
Marriage, not its overthrow, that is sought in these pages. 
Marriage is not necessarily, as some would represent it, 
the ownership and control of a woman by a man, or of a 
man by a woman, joined for sexual intercourse, and held 
by external law. It may and should be a voluntary com- 
panionship of man and woman, equal in all rights and priv- 
ileges, joined for a life of holy uses, and held by mutual 
allection. This is what the spirit of the age demands, and 
what the future will see. "When men and women choose to 
unite in the most intimate of relations, with the views and 
for the high purposes indicated in the foregoing pages, in- 
stead of those which have generally prevailed in the past, 
it is easy to see that their mutual relations and duties will 
require far different regulation by the State, for the gener- 
al good, than has been thought necessary, by masculine leg- 
islators, for the old-style marriage. What that regulation 
shall be, may be safely left to the good sense of men and 
women, when they shall together assemble to legislate upon 
the subject. 
“These views would lead to a great falling off in the rate 
of increase of population—so few women are willing, or fit 
if willing, to become mothers, and so few homes are’fit for 
nurseries of children.” 
Answer. Be it so ! The fewer children born, the better, 
unless they can be well-born. One-half of those now usher- 
ed into existence are sacrificed before their fifth year to the 
unfit conditions under which they are born ; and thousands 
who survive are a curse to themselves, to their parents, to 
4. Non-increase of Population. 46 
THE BETTER WAY : 
the State, and to the world. What though the census-lists 
be not swelled every year for our boasting? If the few who 
should be born prove worthy to live in the twentieth cen- 
tury of the Christian era, now near at hand, the world will 
be the gainer. 
But it is a mistake to suppose that few women wish to 
become mothers, if placed in suitable circumstances, treat- 
ed with the respect due to the sacred office, and sustained 
as every mother should be by the ready sympathy of the 
father. The desire of maternity is the first and deepest 
characteristic of unperverted woman’s nature, liarely do 
we see a young girl without a passion for pets and dolls. 
The exceptions are doubtless traceable to unfavorable ante- 
natal and other influences. It is chiefly an instinctive de- 
sire for suitable conditions for maternity, and consciousness 
of their lack, that makes women shrink from it. 
True, many of our isolated homes, among the lower class- 
es especially, are unfit for nurseries of human beings. The 
wives and mothers are too often drudges of all work, slaves 
to the caprices and untutored desires of their husbands. 
The apartments are destitute of conveniences and of ob- 
jects of beauty or interest. Little or no opportunity for 
seclusion or repose can be had, and means of self-improve- 
ment and congenial social intercourse are few. It Is little 
if anything short of a crime to usher a human being into 
existence under such conditions. 
We punish by law—in some of the States, at least—the 
man who attempts to keep and rear domestic animals with- 
out providing for them proper shelter, food and care. But 
what legislator has ever thought of requiring the provision 
of correspondingly suitable conditions for the rearing of 
men for the State ? Alas I of how much more value is a 
beast than a man I 
Homes of the Lower Classes. AN APrKAfi TO MEN. 
47 
Iiut it may be said that the laboring classes, to a largo 
extent, are unable to provide such homes as are suitable. 
Then they should refrain from adding to the population 
until they can. But the securing of comfortable and even 
elegant homes is not so impossible a thing as it may seem. 
If the laboring classes could only he instructed and per- 
suaded—assisted, if necessary—to avail themselves of the 
advantages of co-operation in the matter of homes, as well 
as of labor, they could have convenience and elegance at 
less cost than the)' now have squalor and repulsiveness. * 
“To this complexion must it come at last,” and the 
sooner political and social economists turn their attention 
to efforts in this direction, the sooner will society be lifted 
out of the slough of filth and crime in which its base now 
rests. The foregoing considerations present a mighty 
motive to efforts in this line. Who will take the lead ? 
Of course, they only, whether men or women, are fit to 
enter associative life, who have learned to carefully respect 
the rights of each other, aud to strictly “ mind their own 
business.” Gossips, meddlers, scandal-mongers, and grasp- 
ers of what they do not earn, would be the bane and ruin 
of such an enterprise—and these are not fit to he the parents 
of children anywhere. How dare they transmit to coming 
generations the vile traits which debase their owu lives and 
poison all about them ? 
Society is what the individuals who compose it make it; 
and the character of individuals, as we have before seen, is 
largely determined by pre-natal causes.' How then can so- 
ciety he much improved until children shall be better horn? 
* ThU has be<*n abundantly proved, it would seem, by the experiment 
of M. Godin, at Gulin*, in France, where thousands of laborers of all grades 
are housed in a palace of architectural beauty, supplied with every needed 
convenience, with separate apartments for families, but a common kitchen, 
laundry, nuracry, school, gymnasium, library, assembly-room, and all tlio 
requisites of an improving social life, at a cost within the means of the 
humblest. 48 
THE BETTER WAY : 
“ These ideas are revolutionary. They would lead to an 
entire change in the customs and institutions of society.” 
Answer. Very good 1 But what then ? Are they not 
true f Can you refute them, in any important particular ? 
Do they not, at least in their general bearing, commend 
themselves to your reason, your conscience, and your 
heart ? Then, brother, you know your duty in the prem- 
ises. Will you do it ? 
“ Let us follow the truth, wherever it leads.” It 
WILL SURELY LEAD US IN THE BETTER WaY. 
5. Revolutionary.