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>. a -4s*> *-* ' ' , ' ~ -* '■ A HAPPY FAMILY The Science of Living 
The Home League Reading Course, prepared by The Personal Service 
Department of The World's Purity Federation. A series of heart 
to heart talks to married and marriageable men and women on 
subjects vital to Health and Happiness, Home Building and 
Character Development, Recreational and Social Life, Sex 
Knowledge and Safety; depicting also the disastrous re- 
sults of ignorance of God's immutable laws of Nature 
INCLUDING 
A Specific and Comprehensive Guide for Parents in Child Training 
and Sex Instruction; the Story of Life and how to tell it to chil- 
dren, illustrated; a series of heart to heart talks with growing 
boys and girls, designed to safeguard their morals against the 
influence of ignorant and vicious associates; also Safe Coun- 
sel, Helpful Advice and Scientific Instruction for older 
sons and daughters on the Choice of Companions, Proper 
Conduct and Dress, Safeguarding Reputation, Promot- 
ing Health, Happiness and Power 
Six Wonderful Books of Inspiration 
and Help in One Massive Volume 
By 
W. H. McKeever,' Ph. D., LL. D. 
L. B. Gatten>, A. M., LL. B. 
Prof. T. W. Shannon' A. M. • 
Mrs. Louise Francis Spaller and 
Mrs. Elizabeth Boutwell, Specialists 
With a Special Article on Social Hygiene by 
Dr. Charles W. Eliot' 
President Emeritus, Harvard University 
Prof its ely Illustrated 
Published for 
THE PARENTS' INTERNATIONAL LEAGUE 
By 
THE S. A. MULLIKIN COMPANY 
Cincinnati, Ohio Copyright, 1924 
By THE S. A. MULLIKIN COMPANY 
Cincinnati, Ohio PUBLISHER'S PREFACE 
Character is not born, but builded. Hereditary in- 
fluences are at work everywhere and always, but the 
character of the child is largely determined by the 
character of the home. The home of today will de- 
termine largely the character of the nation tomorrow. 
The late President Harding, in one of his inspiring 
addresses to a large body of men, a few days before 
he left Washington for his fatal tour of the West, 
said "The home is at last not merely the center, but 
truly, the aim, the object and purpose of all human 
organization. We do not seek to improve society in 
order that from better homes we may bring forth bet- 
ter servants of the state, more efficient cannon fodder 
for its armed forces; rather we seek to make better 
homes in order that we may avoid the necessity for 
conflict and turmoil in our world. The home is the 
apex and the aim, the end rather than the means, of 
our whole social system. So far as this world knows 
or can vision, there is no attainment more desirable 
than the happy and contented home." 
The nation is at last aroused to the fact that its very 
strength and continuity depends upon the morals of 
its people, and that morals depend largely upon the 
training of children and young people in the home. 
Nearly all parents realize today that ignorance is 
5 6 
Publisher's Preface 
largely responsible for the immoralities found among 
young people, but many such parents are failing to 
meet this responsibility fully, because of the lack of 
proper information and help. Children must be taught 
by their parents, at an early age, the sacredness of the 
human body and the vital truths of life, as a part of 
their general education. 
"Not until recent years have we given any real scien- 
tific study to the question of child training," says a 
noted authority on child psychology. "We have failed 
to search out the cause of unfortunate traits of char- 
acter," he says, "nor have we understood how to safe- 
guard the child against harmful habits. Our neglect 
along this very vital line has left our children in ig- 
norance ; yet we have never hesitated to condemn them 
when they have gone wrong. And the greater tragedy 
lies in the fact that parents do not realize what irrep- 
arable harm they are doing." 
Dr. Thomas W. Galloway, Ph. D., in the Journal of 
Social Hygiene, April, 1923, says, "Sex errors and sex 
exploitations have increased, both in quantity and va- 
riety, in recent years. But the interest in a hoped-for, 
sane and vigorous handling of sex factors, as a neces- 
sary part of the preparation of young people for life, 
has grown even more. Recreation, play, and the use 
of leisure time, are of profound importance in the 
determination of character and conduct. Thousands of 
loving parents are daily unconsciously using methods 
in bringing up their children, which can easily destroy 
for life their chances for happiness and success." 
The authors of "The Science of Living" have im- 
plicit faith that in the hearts of thousands of parents Publisher's Preface 
7 
there is a sincere desire to meet fully their responsi- 
bility to their children. All such will welcome the vital 
information contained in this priceless volume, de- 
signed as a reading course in the home. The purpose 
of this reading course is to make people happier 
through knowledge. It was prepared to meet the de- 
mand of the hour; it is an answer to a call of the times, 
with a serious and far-reaching purpose. The vast 
array of facts contained in this series of heart-to-heart 
talks by the authors for parents and all young people, 
have been gathered from the most reliable sources, 
representing the ripest views of men and women recog- 
nized as authorities on physiology, sociology and edu- 
cation. These vital talks have been systematized and 
arranged in their proper order, for the benefit of 
thoughtful people who desire to equip themselves and 
the younger generation, that they may escape the dis- 
astrous results of ignorance. Recent years have been 
rich in scientific discoveries of facts pertaining to the 
relation of the sex life to individual happiness and 
success, and to the happy and successful home. The 
results of ignorance in the married relation, as well as 
in the unmarried, are so apparent upon every hand, 
that thoughtful people everywhere are startled into 
activity, and are seeking a happier lot, so far as they 
can secure it through information within their reach. 
The late Bishop Fallows, in a moment of profound 
thought on the trend of the times, aptly said, "An en- 
lightened public sentiment is now demanding that as 
the destinies of the future race are held by the young 
men and young women of today, they shall not con- 
tinue in ignorance of the most fundamental facts of 8 
Publisher's Preface 
life, as were their fathers and mothers in days past." 
The heart-to-heart talks with boys and the heart-to- 
heart talks with girls, at various ages, including the 
story of life, illustrated, will aid parents in giving 
scientific information to their sons and daughters, from 
childhood to maturity-information necessary to their 
own best development-giving them a fair chance to 
attain to all in life for which they were created. 
The foremost writers and lecturers of the day have 
been drawn upon in the preparation of this volume. 
Wm. A. McKeever, Ph. M., LL. D., is known through- 
out the world for his service as a home and community 
builder, as well as one of its best educators. For many 
years he was at the head of the Child Welfare Depart- 
ment of the University of Kansas, and his text books 
on child study and training, character development and 
home building, are used in all parts of the country. 
His syndicated articles having reached millions of 
homes, and his lectures throughout the country com- 
bined, probably make him the world's best known 
authority on the subjects covered in the division of this 
volume known as "The Home." Associated with Dr. 
McKeever in the preparation of the talks on the home, 
is L. B. Gatten, A. M., LL. B., whose work for many 
years in handling domestic problems, as practicing 
attorney, attracted wide attention, and whose methods 
of handling derelicts, as prosecuting attorney, estab- 
lished a new standard for the treatment of men and 
women who have fallen into error. 
No other women in America are better qualified to 
prepare the heart-to-heart talks with girls and young 
women, than are Mrs. Louise Francis Spaller and Mrs. Publisher's Preface 
9 
Elizabeth Boutwell. Mrs. Spaller was owner, editor 
and publisher of a newspaper in California at the age 
of twenty. Her ability as a journalist was recognized 
by the National Editorial Association, of which she 
became a member and prominent officer. She was 
chosen as one of the seven members of a Literary 
Committee of Representative Women to serve on the 
Literary Committee of The World's Congress of Rep- 
resentative Women, Chicago, 1893. The following 
year she left the field of journalism, to devote herself 
to the study of heredity and eugenics, and was for 
seventeen years connected with the Riddell lecturers, 
during which time she traveled throughout this country 
and Europe, and counselled with thousands of girls 
concerning their problems. 
Mrs. Boutwell's long experience in Y. W. C. A. 
work has given her a touch with and an understanding 
of young women that has made possible the use of her 
exceptional talent as a writer in a series of the most 
beautiful heart-to-heart talks with girls that have ever 
appeared in print, which will be found in the Young 
Woman's Division of this work. 
Mrs. Spaller and Mrs. Boutwell recognize that re- 
cent years have greatly widened woman's horizon and 
multiplied her activities. Practically every profession 
and branch of industry have opened their doors to her, 
and young women are eagerly facing these new condi- 
tions and sharing in their benefits. Never before has 
the need been so urgent for counsel and instruction to 
help them to adequately meet their enlarged responsi- 
bility in the home and outside of the home. This divi- 
sion is designed to help girls and young women to pre- 10 
Publisher's Preface 
pare themselves to meet the world with brighter pros- 
pects for a life of happiness, usefulness and success. 
The talks to parents are by Prof. T. W. Shannon, 
who probably reached more people with his uplifting 
messages and appeals for home instruction in this per- 
sonal and most essential phase of education, than any 
other man of his age. The work of Prof. Shannon as 
a lecturer and writer is too well known to the world, 
to require emphasis here. 
The division for young men, by Prof. Shannon, was 
revised by his successor after months of scientific re- 
search. This division was designed to help men to 
avoid the physical, mental and moral disasters so gen- 
erally due to ignorance of the laws of sexual nature; 
and where manhood has been impaired, help them to 
restore it. It gives in easily understood language scien- 
tific information that will enable men to understand 
themselves more perfectly, and in turn, to help their 
less fortunate brothers. 
In this division for men, the authors have given a 
frank, concise and scientific treatment of the subject 
of venereal diseases, to which men, without any wrong- 
doing, may unknowingly subject themselves at any 
time. The suffering from these diseases is so terrible 
and the mortality so great among innocent victims, as 
to make the knowledge contained in this division, of 
tremendous importance to all readers. 
While all civilization was still standing aghast at the 
appalling destruction of life and property through the 
late World War, and while the unspeakable ravages 
upon unprotected women, innocent girls and helpless 
children, who by multiplied thousands were victims of Publisher's Preface 
11 
the iron heel of war, were still fresh in the minds of 
the peoples of the earth, a well-known authority on 
moral and social problems declared, after an exhaustive 
investigation, that: "In the villages and cities of our 
own country are destroyers of women and children 
whose toll of victims, in the long years of peace, is 
greater and more terrible than the victims of the war 
itself. We do not see these victims, nor do the news- 
papers display a casualty list of the dead and wounded. 
But the casualties are there, hidden among the death 
notices; and many more unrecorded victims diseased 
before death or dead at birth. The wounded victims 
fill to the doors our institutions for the insane, the 
blind, the helpless; these are real casualties: people 
dead; bodies wounded; minds destroyed-not heroic 
victims, adorned with gold chevrons, but victims as 
innocent as were the refugees of France and Belgium. 
In our homes, hospitals and public institutions this 
year, there will be found more injured and killed vic- 
tims of venereal diseases than the United States lost 
during the entire war in France." 
Education is the remedy. "Tuberculosis mortality is 
falling," says Dr. John H. Stoaks, of the Mayo Clinic, 
author of "Today's Problems in Disease Prevention," 
"not alone because of new conceptions of its treatment, 
but because of the tremendous force of public knowl- 
edge and sentiment. The same fate awaits venereal 
diseases, now the scourge of humanity. They need 
only to be understood, and their course is run." "Ye 
shall know the truth and the truth shall make you 
free." 12 
Publisher's Preface 
The contents of this volume will be a revelation to 
the reader. The facts it contains will make the world 
a happier and brighter place in which to live. And to 
the end that- the habits of life may be improved in the 
present generation and in the generations to come, that 
joy and happiness in a larger measure may come to 
the hearts of its readers, through the help it con- 
tains, we sincerely dedicate "The Science of Living" 
to the unborn millions; to the boys and girls of today, 
who are to be the young men and young women of to- 
morrow ; to the young men and young women of today, 
who are to be the fathers and mothers of tomorrow, 
and to the fathers and mothers of today, who will de- 
termine the character of the home of today and the 
nation of tomorrow. 
The Publishers. INTRODUCTION 
The saddest thing in all this world is a human wreck 
•-a man or a woman, young or old, who is undone and 
who, in one or more walks of life, is a failure. There 
are so many of them ! Mental wrecks, physical wrecks, 
nervous wrecks, social wrecks, business wrecks, char- 
acter wrecks. The aspect of these derelicts is the more 
pitiable because of the possibilities before every well- 
born human being, who, with the endowment of in- 
telligence and other gifts and powers bestowed upon 
him by a kind Creator, is capable of rising to heights 
of human perfection. Ample provision made for man's 
every need and want by God, and yet we find misery 
where there ought to be riches, darkness where there 
ought to be light, ignorance where there ought to be 
knowledge, vice where there ought to be virtue, and 
turmoil and strife where there ought to be peace. Only 
too accurately do the poet's words apply: 
"For of all sad words of tongue or pen, 
The saddest are these: 'It might have been!'" 
This problem of human wreckage becomes more de- 
pressing when we consider that in the breast of every 
person there is an innate desire to live true, to win 
success. The day dreams of every boy and girl pic- 
ture themselves as the hero or the heroine in the story 
13 14 
Introduction 
which weaves into its plot their ideal men and women. 
Their ideals may be low, that is the fault of their 
environment and training, but their ideals always rep- 
resent their own highest conceptions of manhood and 
womanhood. But sooner or later struggle comes, ap- 
petite craves, and passion cries out, and if they are 
unprepared for life's real conflict, they go down, and 
another failure is recorded and another wreck left to 
float and endanger every other craft upon life's seas, 
until human wreckage is becoming so enormous that 
it is a question in the minds of scientists and sociolo- 
gists as to how long humanity can keep up its present 
pace and survive the centuries. 
The causes of human wrecks are many, far too many 
to be tabulated or enumerated. In a sentence they 
result from the principle that it is easier to coast than 
to climb; so much easier to float than to struggle against 
the current. Like the weeds that kill out the crops, 
just so is humanity beset by innumerable temptations at 
every turn, social and economic customs force down- 
ward a great many who would otherwise rise to higher 
things, and, it is suspected, that in the very nature of 
man there is a strong tendency to evil which can be 
overcome only by divine grace. Appetite and passion 
are the two forces to which man's higher aspirations 
most often give way. Intemperance and impurity, in 
their broader meaning, are the two bars upon which 
most human wrecks have stranded. Social impurity, 
or the abuse of the sex function and nature, is by far 
the most insidious, and with respect to the number and 
degradation of its victims, the greatest evil in the 
world today. Introduction 
15 
This book is one of the most valuable ever published 
because it treats fully and wisely every phase of this 
question of personal and social failure; it points out 
the reefs, the bars, the snags, the icebergs, the shallow 
and dangerous places where human wrecks are made; 
it guides those who accept it as their pilot into the deep 
waters of an obstructed channel where the voyage of 
life will be ever safe, successful, glorious. Here will 
be found an incentive to climb rather than to coast, an 
inspiration to struggle, even against the current, if in 
the struggle may be won some of the more valuable 
prizes of life. Here is a book that holds high the single 
standard of morality, and demands that men shall be 
as pure as women; it stands boldly for the education 
of the young in sex hygiene, for the protection and 
preservation of the home, and proclaims a truth that 
ought long ago to have been universally accepted, that 
it is the right of every person to know every knowable 
fact pertaining to themselves, and their relations to 
others, and that such knowledge ought to be imparted 
to them before the lack of it has brought injury to 
their lives. 
But this book is even more valuable because it treats 
the constructive forces that make for personal and 
social success. It does not stop with the dark pic- 
tures down in the valley of pointing out life's quick- 
sands. It takes one to the very mountain peak of 
righteous attainment and floods life's pathway with the 
light of knowledge. Its emphasis is on health, not dis- 
ease; on success, not failure; on knowledge, not igno- 
rance ; on righteousness, not sin; on happiness, not 
trouble, and it makes definite and plain the road to 16 
Introduction 
these attainments. Its great themes deal with home- 
building, character-building, soul culture, health and 
human happiness. 
This is not a pioneer work on these questions. Other 
most excellent books have preceded it, for which we 
should all be grateful, and have paved the way for 
this latest volume. The excellence of this work con- 
sists largely in its completeness. It is a text book or 
encyclopedia on life. It presents the very highest stand- 
ards of today in human conduct and self culture. It 
is a book for those of adult age, especially for parents; 
it is a book for the home, for every home, and many 
chapters in it may be profitably read to children, and 
the lessons therein gone carefully over with them. 
Every home that takes this book as a friend and coun- 
selor, and faithfully studies its pages, will equip every 
person within the portals of that home for life's high- 
est rewards. 
More than the usual attachment for this book on 
the part of its readers may be expected because of the 
very high standing of its collaborators. The writer 
knew intimately Prof. T. W. Shannon and had watched 
his efforts with interest and admiration. A voluminous 
writer, a wide traveler, he probably reached more 
people with his uplifting messages on sex through his 
books and on the platform than any other man of the 
same age. His methods were never sensational and 
he did not stoop to uncovering all the cesspools of sin 
and vice, but he led people upward by directing their 
minds and hearts to the beauty and rewards of pure 
living and right thinking. Through the strength of his Introduction 
17 
personality and the profound truth in his message, he 
helped thousands of college students and other young 
men to avoid the pitfalls which have brought disaster 
to so many. 
Louise Francis Spaller, long associated with the 
eminent lecturer, Prof. Newton N. Riddell, is through 
experience eminently fitted for the preparation of her 
contributions to this book. Mrs. Spaller is a business 
woman without a peer. Her extensive travels per- 
mitting her to meet thousands of girls and women in 
every large city of this continent, has given her an 
understanding of women's needs that few others pos- 
sess, and a sympathy for women's failures that en- 
ables her to put her whole heart into her writings. 
William A. McKeever, LL. D., is one of our coun- 
try's best-known educators. He is a sociologist and 
psychologist of world-wide fame. For more than 
seven years he was head of the child welfare depart- 
ment of the University of Kansas, and holds member- 
ship and official position in many of our leading or- 
ganizations for social uplift. Dr. McKeever is the 
author of numerous books, those on child study and 
training being used largely as text books. He has 
lectured in every section of our continent and has at- 
tained unusual success in the anti-cigarette movement. 
No higher authority could have been secured for the 
subjects he discusses herein. 
Elizabeth Boutwell was for some years engaged in 
work with Young Women's Christian Associations 
which brought her into most intimate relations with 
large numbers of young women. She understands 18 
Introduction 
girls, their longings, their day dreams and their prob- 
lems. Competent judges have pronounced Mrs. Bout- 
well's chapters the most stimulating and helpful "talks" 
to girls that they have ever read. 
Mr. L. B. Gatten is a publisher of books as well as 
a writer and consequently has made extensive study 
of just what a book of this nature should contain, and 
he has endeavored to give to- the volume that com- 
pleteness which will lend very material value to it. 
As a lawyer, Mr. Gatten had unusual opportunity to 
investigate at first hand the causes of home failures, 
and to make note of the methods and efforts that often 
brought happiness and success out of these failures. 
Mr. Gatten's chapters will be found most interesting 
and helpful. 
A North Carolina farmer, when being urged by a 
salesman to purchase a scientific work on agriculture, 
replied: "The book wouldn't be of any use to me. I 
ain't farmin' as well as I know how now." The farmer 
gave expression to a regrettable truth. Few of us are 
doing as well as we know how-our best; most of us 
are but fifteen per cent, efficient in our vocations and 
professions, in character-building even less than that. 
Nevertheless, the farmer made a tremendous mistake. 
Had he bought the book and studied it thoroughly, he 
may not have done even then as well as he knew how, 
but he would have known a great deal more than he 
did before, and would certainly have become a much 
more successful agriculturist. Vocational scientific 
treatises are essential to fit one for highest efficiency 
in life's work, but far more helpful is a book such as Introduction 
19 
this one, that may be very properly termed a treatise 
on the science of living, which enables one to build 
into his character those enduring principles that can 
bring us nearer and nearer to the likeness of Him in 
whose image we were created. 
The influence and power of a great book is immeas- 
urable. It is more than a counselor, more than a 
teacher, more than a friend, more even than a parent. 
It embraces all of these and brings us into closest 
touch with the problems it discusses; face to face with 
our own weaknesses and needs, and supplies the proper 
setting for the fullest reception of its message. Great 
books change individuals, nations, the world for the 
better. In Japan there has been for hundreds of years 
a system of merchandise in young girls, known as the 
geisha girls, whereby they were often introduced to 
immorality. Every known effort was made to suppress 
this traffic but without success. A leading missionary 
in the Orient writes me that a book, the first and only 
one ever written by the author, dealing with this and 
other Japanese problems, haif accomplished what mil- 
lions of people could not, and led to the overthrow of 
the system of merchandise in the geisha girls. God 
chose a book to reach humanity, and the Bible has 
changed the entire world. 
This volume is a great book! Great in its purpose; 
great in its message; great in the personnel of its 
authors, who have tested its teachings; great in the 
knowledge that it imparts; great in the ideals that it 
inspires; great in the sympathy that it offers, and the 
love that it declares; great in the light that it brings, 20 
Introduction 
and great in the warnings that it gives. It is my hope 
that it may be received into many thousands of homes, 
reaching millions of human hearts, and there work out 
its true mission; that human wrecks may be fewer, 
that every life it touches may have a fair chance to 
attain all for which it was created, and that the world 
may grow better and purer. 
B. S. Steadwell. 
La Crosse, Wisconsin. CONTENTS 
First Division 
THE HOME 
CHAPTER I-The Foundation of the Home. Page 
Home First.-The Old Home.-The Present-day Home.- 
Modern Society and the Home.-Religious Instruction.. 39 
CHAPTER II-Fathers and Mothers. 
Responsibilities.--Environment.-Law of Consequence.- 
Hidden Possibilities of Individual Child 54 
CHAPTER III-Is Mother to Blame? 
Making Home a Hallowed Spot.-Parental Laxity.-Com- 
mercializing Youth.-Parental Indulgence and Delin- 
quency.-Mother's Problem.-Then and Now 72 
CHAPTER IV-Is Father to Blame? 
Father in the Equation.-Judicial Opinions.-Father and 
the Dollar.-Character Building 90 
CHAPTER V-Can They Forgive Us? 
In the Day to Come, What?-The City.-Amusements.- 
Is the Child Responsible?-An Apology.-A Challenge. . 102 
CHAPTER VI-The Oldest Human Institution. 
Heaven Born.-Indestructible.-Home Against War.- 
Siow Evolution.-Public Education Effective.-Poverty 
not a Bar 113 
CHAPTER VII-A Plan of Co-operation. 
Co-operation the Key.-House for the Children.-Score 
Card for Parents.-Tests for the Children.-Rotation 
and Division of Tasks.-Moral Inventory.--Economy.- 
Grand Parents 123 
CHAPTER VIII-Management of the Children. 
Authority. - Obedience. -• Punishment. - Selfishness. - 
Reticence.-Self-dependence.-Vision.-Growth Through 
Imperfections.-The Black Sheep 139 
CHAPTER IX-Making of Home Apparatus. 
Creative Instinct.-Racial Interests.-Rag Doll Age.- 
Group Interests.-Climbing.-Playhouse.-Amateur Gar- 
dening 156 
21 22 
Contents 
CHAPTER X-Pursuit of Outdoor Projects. Page 
Call of Nature.-Topic for Household Conversation.- 
Barbarous Age of Childhood.-Gaining Mastery.-Scout 
Age.-Girls and Scouting.-Getting Close to Nature.- 
Discovering the Elements 171 
CHAPTER XI-The Search for Hidden Genius. 
Time and Talent.-Explore the Depths in Your Child.- 
Observe Other Children.-First Interests Often Transi- 
tory.-Allow for Shifting.-Can Genius be Created?- 
Is Persistence a Genius? 187 
CHAPTER XII-The Discovery of the Specialty. 
Many Talents Involved.-Praise Every Accomplish- 
ment.-Girls May Shine at Home.-Many Possibilities.- 
Business Member.-Boy Mechanic-Teach Girls to Care 
for Children.-Food Production 201 
CHAPTER XIII-The Quest for Social Experience. 
New Awakening.-Regard Human Nature.-Learning 
Ways of Life.-Honor Loyalty of Youth.-Gaining Social 
Experience.-Choice of Companions.-Teach Girls to 
Know Boys.-Teach Boys to Know Girls.-Looking 
Toward Marriage 212 
CHAPTER XIV-The Slow Normal Development. 
Nerve Centers.-Is Old Age a Delusion?-Interests 
Awaken Unevenly.-Abandon Tradition.-Repression of 
Childhood Desires.-Dealing Justly with Emotional De- 
sires.-The Biight of Early Ambition 231 
CHAPTER XV-The Basis of Thrift and Enterprise. 
Learning to Earn.-Child the Standard.-Learning to 
Spend.-Learning to Save.-Learning to Give.-Payment 
for Home Work 246 
CHAPTER XVI-The Outlook to a Vocation. 
Difficulties.-Nature Must Respond.-Experience of 
Prime Importance.-Farm Training under Careful Super- 
vision.-Reliable Basis for Choosing.-Right to Change 
Occupations.-Teach Essential Business Virtues.-Human 
Touch in Business 266 
FOR MARRIED AND MARRIAGEABLE MEN AND 
WOMEN 
Second Division 
CHAPTER XVII-Ethics of Married. 
Law of Love.-Ideal of Love.-Matrimonial Fidelity.- 
Flirtations.-Mutual Confidence.-Charity.-Agree to 
Disagree.-Politeness.-Honor, Respect and Love.- 
Lovers Still.-Why Wives Fail.-Children and Happy 
Wedlock.-Unpleasant Words.-Vital Questions for Hus- 
bands.-Advice to Husband.-The Divine Plan.-Cleanli- 
ness.-Conjugal Harmony.-Peaceful Blending 281 Contents 
23 
CHAPTER XVIII-After Marriage-The Consummation of 
Marriage. Page 
Its Signification.-Wise Restraint.-Bridal Chamber.- 
Consummation.-When.-Danger Ahead.-Obstacles to 
Consummation.-The Hymen.-The Vagina.-Sperma- 
tozoa.-Virility and Manhood.-Impotence of Man.- 
False Impotence.-Impotence and Venereal Diseases - 
Old Age.-Impotence from Other Causes.-Physical 
Benefits of Marriage.-Liberties Before Marriage.-Tests 
of Virginity.-Different Views on Sexual Union 304 
CHAPTER XIX-Husband and Wife-The Marriage Bed. 
The Bed Chamber.-Twin Beds.-Night Attire.-Passion 
in Women.-Complete Cessation.-bangers of Excess.- 
Transmission of Life.-Seasons for.-Nature of Concep- 
tion.-Artificial Impregnation.-Reproductive Organs 
Charted 327 
CHAPTER XX-Child-Bearing-Pregnancy. 
Veneration for Pregnant.--Signs of Pregnancy.-Quicken- 
ing.-The Fetal Heart.-Ascertaining Sex of'the Fetus.-• 
Mental Changes.-Chart Showing Human Embryo.-How 
to Calculate Time of Birth.-Premature Births.-Mis- 
carriage, Causes and Dangers of.-Prevention of Miscar- 
riage 345 
CHAPTER XXI-Painless Pregnancy and Childbirth. 
Uses of Pain.-Medical Research.-Pelvic Chart.-Cloth- 
ing.-Care of Lower Limbs.-Exercise.--Bathing.- 
Ventilation.-Sleep.-The Mind.-Food.-Don'ts for 
Pregnant Women.-Use of Anesthetics.-Twilight Sleep. 362 
CHAPTER XXII-Confinement. 
Preparation for.-Necessary Articles.-Dressings for 
Bed.-Food.-Avoid Constipation.-Labor Pains.-Cause 
of.-Symptoms of.--Three Stages of.-Careing for Child 
at Birth.-Attention to Mother.-Nursing.-Diet of the 
Mother.-After-pains.-Flooding.-Sore Nipples.-Treat- 
ment.--Child-bed Fever.-Time of Feeding Child.-Nurs- 
ing while Pregnant.-Mental Emotions and Nursing. 
Effects of Excitement 375 
CHAPTER XXIII-The Family. 
Limitation of Offspring.-Nature's Limitations.-Natural 
Safeguards.-Another Remedy.-All under Condemna- 
tion.--Conditions in America.-Too Many Children.- 
Conflict of Opinions.-A Wife's Rights 407 
CHAPTER XXIV-Heredity. 
Definition of Heredity.-Two Ideals of.-Different Races. 
-Prenatal Influence.-Like Produces Like.-Murderous 
Intent.-Guiteau.-Inheritance of Traits of Character.- 
To Avoid Diseased Children.-Hope Held Out.-Law of 
Variation.-Insanity.-Laws of Inheritance and Disease. 424 
CHAPTER XXV-Climateric Period. 
Change of Life in Woman.-In Man.-Dr. Sperry's Tes- 
timony.-Old Men Complain.-Crime Against Nature.- 
Danger Ahead.-Evil Effects of Excitement 449 24 
Contents 
Third Division 
HEART TO HEART TALKS TO PARENTS 
CHAPTER XXVI-A Talk to Mothers. Page 
Moral Training.-Mother Natural Teacher.-Importance 
of Sex Instruction.-Similar Instruction for Boy and 
Girl.-Boy of Ten.-When Begin Sex Instruction.- 
Female Form.-Confidential Talk to Daughter.-Poem, 
"No One Had Told Her." 403 
CHAPTER XXVII-A Talk to Fathers. 
Importance of Fatherhood.-Son's Natural Teacher.- 
Unethical Ideas.-The Model Father.-How to Instruct 
Son.-Secret Sin.-Watchfulness Over Son.... 477 
CHAPTER XXVIII-Child's Right to Sex Knowledge. 
Right to Sex Knowledge.-Early Seeks this Knowledge.- 
Children Inquisitive.--Conscience and Sex Education.- 
Inconsistency of Past Ideas as to Sex Education.- 
Physical Reasons for Sex Education.-Mental Reasons 
for Sex Education 485 
CHAPTER XXIX-Results oe Deception. 
Sex Tabooed in Past Evasions and Falsehoods, Why? 
A Personal Experience.-A Canadian's Experience.-- 
W'ill Get this Information.-Parents Deceive Them- 
selves.-Learns Perverted Truth.-Boys Contaminated 
by Ignorant Associates.-A False Modesty.-Natural and 
Unnatural Modesty.-Ignorance not Essential to Inno- 
cence.-Environment and Truth.-Results of Old Method. 
-Leads to Secrecy.-Discovers Deception in Parents, 
Degrading.-How Confidence is Lost.-The Harvest of 
Ignorance.-Who is Responsible?-Poem, "Price He 
Paid." 492 
CHAPTER XXX-Parents the Natural Teachers. 
Parents Responsible.--Children go to Parents for In- 
formation.-Must Hold Child's Confidence.-Boys go to 
Father After Ten.-Girl to Mother After Ten.-Schools 
Leave Early Instruction to Home 525 
CHAPTER XXXI--What Should Child be Taught and 
When. 
Determined by Age, Sex Curiosity, etc.-Better Early 
Than Too Late.-The Best Way.-How Often to Tell a 
Story.-How to Teach Difference Between the Sexes.- 
Object Lessons of Mating.-Advantages of Early Frank 
Instruction.-Makes Future Talks Easy.... 532 
CHAPTER XXXII-How Should Child be Taught. 
A Moral Qualification.-'Mental Qualification.-Skill 
Needed.-Course of Lectures Aid.-Lectures to Segregated 
Audiences 542 
CHAPTER XXXIII-First Story of Life-Baby Plants. 
Mama Compliments Child.-Knowing Nothing at Birth.- 
Learn Something New Each Day.-Things Child can not 
Know.--Sacredness of Life.-Not Sacred to Some.-• 
Mama's Advice.-Story of Baby Plants, Illustrated 548 Contents 
25 
Page 
CHAPTER XXXIV.-Second Story-Baby Oysters and Fish. 
Oyster and Fish Life.--Review of Plant Life.-The 
Oyster.-How Life Originates in Baby Oysters.- 
Oysters and Plants Compared.-Animals with Single Sex 
Nature.-Story of Life in Baby Fish 566 
CHAPTER XXXV-Third Story-Insects and Birds. 
The Bee and Ant.-Nest Building.-How Little Birds 
Come, Illustrated 575 
CHAPTER XXXVI-Fourth Story-Animal and Human 
- Babies. 
Review of Previous Stories.-Two Natures Brought To- 
gether.-The Fish.-Birds.-Nature's Plan of Fertilizing. 
-The Embryo.-Higher Animals and Man.-Mammals.- 
Sprouting and Hatching.-Nest in Mother's Body.- 
Story of Life, Illustrated 580 
CHAPTER XXXVII-Puberty. 
When Puberty Approaches.-Changes in Boy.-Causes 
of Variation.-Hygiene of Puberty.---False Modesty.- 
Avoid Irritation.-Dormitory Regulation.-Moral Train- 
ing.-When Does Passion Commence?-Self-abuse.-Fe- 
male Organism.-Age of Puberty in Woman 599 
CHAPTER XXXVIII-The Normal Baby. 
Development.-Teeth.-Milk Teeth.-Weaning.-When to 
Wean.-Weaning from the Bottle.-Sleep.-Tempera- 
ture of Sleeping Room.-Medicines to Produce Sleep.. 611 
CHAPTER XXXIX-Care of Children. 
Food for Infant.-Care of Nipples.-Mother's Diet.- 
Feeding Infants.-Time of Feeding.-Predigested Food. 
-Patent Foods for Infants.-Food for Child After 
Weaning.-Errors in Diet.-Vomiting in Infants.-An- 
other Result.-Constipation.-Teething.-Convulsions.- 
Scarlet Fever. - Diphtheria. - Tonsilitis. - Adenoids.- 
Growth.-Croup.-Bronchitis.-Capillary Bronchitis.- 
Diarrhea.-Cholera Infantum.-Dysentery.-Bed-wetting. 
-Phymosis.-Circumcision.-Worms in Children.-Rick- 
ets.-St. Vitus' Dance.-Scrofula.-Eczema 629 
CHAPTER XL-Instruction in Hygiene. 
Policy of Silence a Failure.-Parents as Instructors.-• 
Instruction Outside of the Home Problematical.-Avoid 
Venereal Diseases by Frankness.-Schools Should Teach 
Cleanliness ' 681 
Fourth Division 
PARENTS TALKS TO BOYS AND GIRLS 
CHAPTER XLI-Boys Make Men. 
Only Material Available.-Men are Grown-up Boys.- 
Must Train Himself.-Parents Natural Teachers.-Boys 
Ask Questions.-May be Spoiled in the Making.-Train- 
ing Must Begin While Young 695 26 
Contents 
CHAPTER XLII-Strong Boys Make Strong Men. Page 
The Changing Boy.--A Source of Power.-Climates and 
Conditions.-The Source of Power.-Illustrations in 
Life.-Effect of Impure Life. 701 
CHAPTER XLIII-Weak Boys Make Weak Men. 
Scar Always Remains.-Robbing Vine of Its Life.- 
Sapping Tree.-Vital Power Builds Strong Men.-The 
Secret Sin.-Explanation of Terms.-Boys Need Help.-• 
Circumcision.-Effects of Secret Vice on Boy.-Habit 
May be Overcome 708 
CHAPTER XLIV-What Kind of Man Will You Be? 
Manhood Determined in Youth.-Cigarettes and Tobacco. 
--Effects of Cigarettes on the Heart.-Effect of Broken 
Laws.-Should Protect Future Generations.-Value of 
Good Character 719 
CHAPTER XLV-Making Your Boldest Dreams Come True. 
Admiral Peary.-Grit that Would not Let Go.-Develop- 
ing a Strong Will.-Cutting Off the Heads of Your 
Enemies.-Winning the Battle.-Your Will and the 
Devil.-"I Can't" Got Hung.-King Care.-The Heart 
that Will not Accept No 725 
CHAPTER XLVI-The Dawning of Womanhood. 
The Changing Girl.-Signs of Puberty.-A Natural Ex- 
perience.-Menstruation.-Hygienic Advice.-Regularity 
in Menstruation-Physical, Mental and Moral Changes.- 
The Charms of Womanhood.-A Sacred Function.-Pre- 
pares for Motherhood 736 
CHAPTER XLVI I-Confidential Advice. 
Most Delicate Organs of the Body.-Need of Cleanli- 
ness.-Abusing These Parts.-What You Should Know.- 
The Effects of Abuse.-Physical Effects.-The Way to 
Freedom 742 
CHAPTER XLVIII-Choosing a Chum. 
Most Important Years of Your Life.-New Social De- 
sires Awaken.-Why a Girl Wants Chums.-Right Choice 
of Chums 749 
CHAPTER XLIX-A Young Girls Ethics. 
The Social Nature.-Boys and Girls Should Play To- 
gether.-Sex and Social Nature.-The Boy-struck Girl.-• 
Confidential Advice.-Boys that are Dangerous.-Boys 
that are "True Blue" 752 
CHAPTER L-Controlling Your Emotions. 
Wishing of the Good Fairy.-The Deep Ocean of Your 
Soul.-At the Bottom of the Sea.-Jealousy.-The Self- 
centered Devil Fish.-Spooks.-Appetites.-A Wish Gone 
Wrong.-Emotional Control a Vital Need.-Losing Self. 
-A Self-satisfying Life Ideal 758 
CHAPTER LI-The Affections. 
First Center of Affections.-Making Friends.-Hunger 
for Love.-Chums, Good and Bad.-Girl Chums that are 
Bad.-Secrets.-Your First Sweetheart.-The Coming of 
Your King 768 Contents 
27 
CHAPTER LII-Evidences of Good Breeding. Page 
The Well-bred Girl.-Proper Dress.-Price of a Diamond 
Ring.-Respect Yourself and Others.-Carelessness in 
Personal Appearance.-Personal Habits that are Objec- 
tionable.-How to Command Respect.-Put Yourself on 
Record.-A Task for Girls.-Key to True Ladyhood.... 778 
CHAPTER LIII-Mistakes of Some Girls. 
Had Someone Only Told Me!-Choosing Your Amuse- 
ments.-Things not Necessary to Learn.-Riches.--Losing 
in Game of Life.-Cigarettes and the Punch Bowl.-■ 
Bunny Hugging and Ragging.-After the Dance.-Kiss- 
ing.--Love and Miscalled Love.-Unwedded Little 
Mothers.-The Shadow of Sin 789 
CHAPTER LIV-The Girl Who Wins. 
The Good-luck Clover.-Getting Ready to Win.-Joys 
of Work.-Pep and Ginger.-Girl Who Whines.-Breath 
of Violets.-Making Your Bow.-Select Your Slogan... 800 
CHAPTER LV-Getting the Most Out of Life. 
A Wonderful Girl.-What France Owes to a Girl.- 
The Girl with a Vision.-The Captain of Your Soul.- 
A Real Queen.-Sweetest Flowers of the Soul.-Beauty 
of Soul.-Advantages in Being Plain.-Hardships of 
Being a Beauty.-Choose a Mastering Ideal.-Life More 
Abundant.-A Higher Goal.-Heroines of Today.-Your 
Place in World of Today.-The First Great Command- 
ment.-From Heart to Heart 809 
Fifth Division 
FOR YOUNG MEN 
CHAPTER LVI-The Four Periods of Life. 
Boyhood.-From Birth to Adolescence.-Adolescence.- 
Boyhood to Manhood.-Puberty.-First Years of Ado- 
lescence.-The Reproductive Period.-Old Age 833 
CHAPTER LVII-The Reproductive Period. 
The Urinary System. Illustrated.-The Reproductive Or- 
gans.-The Penis.-Variation in Size.-The Glans.--The 
Prepuce.-The Frenulum.-The Scrotum.-The Testicles. 
-The Ampulla.-Seminal Vesicles.-Prostrate Gland.- 
Cowper's Gland.-Special Functions of Sexual Organs.- 
The Semen 840 
CHAPTER LVIII-The Source of Manhood. 
Beneficial Influence of Semen.-The Eunuch.-Sex and 
Power, Brilliancy.-And Soul Warmth.-Influence of 
Mind on Sexual Functions.-Continence Possible and 
Advisable.-Sex Necessity Lie.-Sex Glands and Virility. 
-Proofs Favoring Continence.-Means of Attainment.- 
The Building of Character 858 28 
Contents 
CHAPTER LIX-Vital Facts for Men. Page 
Looking Forward to Marriage.-Choosing a Life Com- 
panion.-Long Engagements.-Advantages of Early 
Marriage.--Tests of True Love.-Mutual Understanding 
Before Marriage.-Determining Virginity.-Why Woman 
Has Right to Set Date for Marriage.-Motive for Mar- 
riage.-Mismated.-Physical Fitness for Marriage.- 
Facts for Young Husbands.-Frequency of Sexual Rela- 
tions.-Unbridled Lust.-For Procreation Only 879 
CHAPTER LX-Single Standard Manhood. 
Ethical Side of Hygiene.-Double Standard Outgrown.- 
The Sex Necessity Lie.-Houses of Prostitution no Pro- 
tection.-Illegitimate Fathers.-The Unfortunate Child. 
-Deeper Depths of Depravity.-The Fallen Woman.-A 
Single Standard Law.-The Lie of Lust and Selfishness. 
-Public Sentiment on the Double Standard.-Appeal for 
Champions of Single Standard 898 
CHAPTER LXI-How Manhood is Wrecked. 
Man as He Should be.-Man as He is.-Bad Heredity.- 
Early Environment.-Narcotics and Stimulants.-Las- 
civious Thoughts and Conversation.-Vulgar Language. 
---Obscene Shows and Suggestive Movies.-Improperly 
Dressed Women.-Hugging, Kissing, etc.-Wrecked Man- 
hood 910 
CHAPTER LXII-Spooning. 
Social Relations of Sexes.-Social Privileges.-Impor- 
tance of Sex Knowledge.-Results of Ignorance.-Mental 
Effect of Sex Ignorance.-Moral Reasons for Sex Instruc- 
tion.-Spooning Defined.-Spooning and Sexual Excite- 
ment.--The Sex Impulse.-Normal Mind and Conduct.- 
Why Young People Fall.-Letter from College Student.- 
Author's Reply.-Basis of Sex Life.-Ignorance Regard- 
ing Love.-Dancing vs. Spooning.-Effects of Sexual 
Excitement on Men.-On Women.-Mental Sexual Ex- 
citement.-How to Know When in Love.-Natural Senti- 
ments.-Christ's Interpretation of Mosaic Law 919 
CHAPTER LXIII-Masturbation. 
Destroying Man-power.-Self-abuse.-How Acquired.- 
Learned at Early Age.-Symptoms Common to this 
Habit.-Physical Effects.-Functional Effects.-Effects 
on Nervous System.-Effects on Senses.-Effect on Sight. 
-Effect on Brain.--Destroys Self-respect.-Beware of 
Quacks.-Will Marriage Help.-What Two Eminent 
Physicians Say.-An Extremely Vital Fact.-Control of 
the Habit.-When Everything Fails, then What? 941 
CHAPTER LXIV-The Social Evil. 
Prostitution.--A Disease Breeder.-Modern Attitude 
Toward Prostitution.-Not Necessary Evil.-Sex Neces- 
sity Out-of-date.-Going Down the Line.-The Strong 
Man.-Licensed Prostitution, and Its Results.-The 
American Plan.-The Program 956 
CHAPTER LXV-Special Stex Ailments. 
Non-venereal Diseases.-Swollen Veins in the Testicles. 
-Causes.-Remedies.-Dangers from Mumps.-Hydro- 
cele.-Enlargement of the Prostate.-Treatment.-The 
Quack and His Victims.-The Truth About Emissions.- 
Harmful Emissions.-Their Cause.-Relation to Food and 
Drink.-The Sleeping Posture.-The Cure.-Spermator- 
rhea.-Treatment.-Change of Life.-Old Age 967 Contents 
29 
CHAPTER LXVI-Venereal Diseases. Page 
Most Urgent Health Problem of Today.-The Sexual 
Plagues.-Scientific Facts Without Exaggeration.-Dan- 
ger of Infection.-Danger from Prostitutes.-'The Only 
Sure Preventive.-A Deceiving Safeguard.-Chancroid.-• 
Devouring Chancroid.-Need of Expert Treatment.- 
Gonorrhea.-Symptoms.-Serious Results.-An After- 
effect.-Gonorrhea of the Eye.-Infection of Innocent 
Wives.-Honeymoon Appendicitis.-Treatment for Gonor- 
rhea.-Determining a Cure.-Gonorrhea and Marriage.- 
Syphilis a Master Disease.-How Acquired.-Primary 
Syphilis.-Expert Counsel.--Danger in Genital Sores.- 
Secondary Syphilis.-A Public Menace.-Infecting the 
Innocent.-Locomotor Ataxia and Paresis.-Effect of 
Inherited Syphilis of Offspring.-Can Syphilis be Cured? 
-Evidences of a Cure 981 
CHAPTER LXVII-Personal Hygiene of Venereal Diseases. 
General Rules on Personal Hygiene.-Hygiene of Gonor- 
rhea.-Hygiene of Syphilis.-Treatment of Syphilis.- 
Danger in Self-treatments.-Compulsory Prevention. .. 1017 
CHAPTER LXVIII-Manhood Restored. 
The Whole Man Restored.-Can not be Restored in a 
Day.-Cause and Effect.-Natural Cure.-Getting Control 
of Mind.-The Relation of Marriage.-Stimulants and 
Narcotics.-The Cold Bath.-Plenty of Sleep.-Func- 
tions of the Skin.-The Air Bath.-Deep Breathing.- 
Physical Exercises.-Physical Culture1026 
CHAPTER LXIX-Practical Questions Answered1040 
CHAPTER LXX-Sex and Psycho-Analysis. 
Revelations of Science.-Street of the Living Dead.- 
Master of Any Fate.-The Mystery of Sex.-Conscious 
and Unconscious Mind.-The Unconscious Love Urge.- 
Determining the Trend of the Sex Life.-Repression and 
Expression.-Way Out of the Difficulty.-What Sublima- 
tion Means.-Highway to Happiness.-Vision, Personal- 
ity, Leadership.-Somewhere You are Standing1049 
FOR YOUNG WOMEN 
Sixth Division 
CHAPTER LXXI-Ideal Womanhood. 
Quest of Happiness World wide.-Bubble Chasing.-Miss- 
ing the Ideal.-Vision of Experience.-A Story from 
Life.-Jovs of Motherhood.-The Elemental Longing.- 
Power of Love In Woman's Life.-Conspiracy of Silence. 
-Wrong Point of View.-Marriage a Failure.-A Per- 
sonal Word.-Emancipation of Womanhood1067 30 
Contents 
CHAPTER LXXII-Love and Lovers. Page 
Love Making of Throve and Polly.-Making a Magic.- 
Reel Love and Real Love.-When "They Two Become 
One Flesh."-Multiplying Love by Experience.-The 
Only Dreams that Come True.-"Fate has Written a 
Tragedy."-An Ancient Prayer1081 
CHAPTER LXXIII-Marriage and Parentage. 
Home and Happiness.-Cry of the Unborn.-Choosing 
Your Children.-The Verdict of Silence.-Science and 
Romance.-Your Ancestral Ghosts.--Marrying a Man to 
Save Him.-Broken Heart at Twenty.-Roses to Ashes. 
-Broken Life at Sixty1002 
CHAPTER LXXIV-Choosing Your Children. 
Happily-born Child.-Well-born Child.-Ancestors and 
Your Children.-A Healthy Child.-When Your Chil- 
dren Sicken and Die.-Safeguarding Health of the Un- 
born.-Mentally and Morally Sound Children.-Children 
of Alcoholics 1103 
CHAPTER LXXV-A Parent's Heaven or Hell. 
Bright Side of the Picture.-Star of Hope.-Winning 
Over a Handicap.-Annette Kellerman.-Blood Will Tell. 
-An Eugenic Marriage.--Race Betterment.-Greatest 
Legacy-Reward from Right Mating.-The Vision.- 
Parent's Heaven or Hell1115 
CHAPTER LXXVI-Love's Paradise Lost. 
The Happy 'Wedding Day.-The Mark of the Beast.- 
Story of One Woman's Life.-Fruits of Excess.-An Old 
Story.-Womanhood Enslaved.-The Crime of Christen- 
dom.-Increase of Murder, Suicide and Insanity.--Love 
is the Answer.-The Greatest Thing in the World.- 
God's Love Made Manifest.-Love's Vision Realized... 1129 
CHAPTER LXXVII-The Lure of the Road. 
Facing Life's Biggest Problem.-Life a Twisting High- 
way.-Lure of Life.-Sex Awakening1141 
CHAPTER, LXXVIII-Risks of the Road. 
Margaret's Problem.-Her First Mistake.-First lane 
of Defense Broken.-Citadel of Pure Womanhood Endan- 
gered.-Fortunate Escape.-Comrade or Plaything, 
Which.--False Standards.-Character Recognized.- 
Qualities that Count.-Unselfishness.-Sense of Honor. 
-Purity of Heart.--Strength of Character1146 
CHAPTER LXXIX-His Lady. 
Qualities that Attract.-All-around Pal.-Untouched by 
Other Men.-Understanding.-Radiance from Within.- 
Square and Honest.-Charming Domesticity.-Purity and 
Fragrance.-Vision and Love.-Poise, Charm and Grace. 
-Ideals of Love.-Service, Sacrifice and Purity.- 
Beauty not Essential1166 
CHAPTER LXXX-Courtesy of the Road. 
An Ugly Situation.-Results of Thoughtlessness.- 
Courtesy Vital.-A Fire that Burned Out a Heart.- 
Not Fair to Him.-Give His Manhood a Chance.- 
Woman Holds the Weapon.-Love Most Powerful Force..1174 Contents 
31 
CHAPTER LXXXI-Code of the Road. Page 
Conventionalities.-Our Rule of Conduct.--Spirit of 
Eternal Youth.-Quotations from Shailer Mathews.- 
Margaret's Allegiance 1189 
CHAPTER LXXXII-Youb Riding Costume. 
Attracting Opposite Sex.-Clothes Index to Personality. 
-Wealth and Beauty not Essential.-Health and Com- 
plexion.-Indefinable Something that Wins.-Be Natural. 
-Be a Pal, not a Plaything.-Hold to High Ideals.... 1195 
CHAPTER LXXXIII-The Road You Ride Together. 
The Bridle Path.-Home of Her Dreams.-First Requisite. 
-Things that Help.-Other Methods.-Playing Fair with 
Him.-Plea for Co-operation1205 
CHAPTER LXXXIV-Forbidden By-paths. 
Ginger Balks.-Two Days Later.-By-paths Most Desired. 
-Unrestricted Auto Riding.-Rules of the Road.-Other 
By-paths.-Easy to Follow the Crowd1212 
CHAPTER LXXXV-They Who Gird Us for Journeying. 
Your Quest for Happiness.-Hard to be the Girl you 
Want to be.-Making Your Future Happiness.-Girl 
I Knew 1221 
CHAPTER LXXXVI-The Land of Heart's Desire. 
The Fairy's Secret-Cultivation of Heart's Garden.- 
The Elemental Longing.-Perfected Happiness.-You and 
Yours.-Will You be Worthy?-God's Love Needed.-■ 
Three-fold Gift 1227 LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS 
A Happy FamilyFrontispiece 
PAGE 
B. S. Steadwell 36 
S. A. Mullikin 37 
L. B. Gatten, A. M., LL. B 38 
For Better or For Worse 47 
In Our Hands Rests the Shaping of Their Characters. 55 
A Real Boy 57 
A Real Man in the Making 67 
Abraham Lincoln 69 
Beware of the Chance Acquaintance 82 
Wm. A. McKeever, Ph. M., LL. D 112 
Making the Home Attractive 115 
Training for the Future 132 
Developing Motherly Instincts 148 
Making His Own Apparatus 157 
Men of Tomorrow 170 
A True Scout 179 
Making Good Use of His Time 188 
Let Them Play Together 224 
The Bride 280 
Meditation 354 
A Hallowed Spot 405 
New Responsibilities 406 
Inherited Blindness 431 
Inherited Disease 432 
Reward of a Well-Spent Life 451 
Hale and Hearty at Ninety-seven 452 
Team Work 460 
Mother: Eternities Can Not Outweigh Her Influence. 462 
Time to Get Up 475 
What Will His Future-Be? 476 
33 34 
PAGE 
A Happy Home 523 
Safe-guarding Her Future 524 
Illustrating How Life Begins in Plants 549 
Telling Him the Story of Life 550 
Reproduction in the Fishes 567 
Bedtime Stories 569 
Hatching of Chickens 576 
Human Reproduction 581 
Goods Friends 584 
A Healthy Specimen 612 
East High School 643 
Dr. Chas. W. Eliot 690 
An Ideal Boy 694 
Vigorous Youth 700 
A Man of Tomorrow 718 
Ready for the Fun Trail .... 720 
A Make-believe Fairy Land 788 
Maid of Orleans-The Girl of a Vision 811 
Happy Days 812 
Prof. Thos. W. Shannon 832 
Keeping Fit 876 
A Physical, Mental and Moral Wreck 911 
Beware of Quacks 968 
Look at Me, Don, Six Feet, One 980 
Syphilitic Sores 982 
Could "Daddy" Only Have Known 994- 
Venereal Diseases Must Go 1000 
Mrs. Louise Francis Spaller 1064 
The Great Out-of-Doors 1066 
The Triumph 1080 
Where the Meadow Lark Sings 1091 
America's Greatest Asset 1102 
Jane Addams 1105 
Every Young Woman Should Know 1127 
Crushed in Spirit, Hope Dead, and Future, One of 
Despair 1128 
A Fine Type of Young Womanhood 1139 
Mrs. Elizabeth Boutwell and Son. 1140 
List of Illustrations FIRST DIVISION 
The Home Hon. B. S. Steadwell 
President 
The World's Purity Federation 
36 S. A. Mullikin 
Executive Secretary 
The Parents International League 
37 L. B. Gatten, A. M., LL. B. 
Author, Writer, Lecturer 
38 CHAPTER I 
THE FOUNDATION OF THE HOME 
"To Adam, Paradise was home. To the good among 
his descendants, Home is paradise." 
Home First 
As one enters the serious study of 
society in its larger aspects, he finds his way 
into the home and the domestic problems. 
The first of the social units is the home, and 
whatever is done for the upbuilding or the 
destruction of society, must have a very vital 
and at the same time a very direct bearing on 
the home. 
There are those who take a de- 
spairing view of the home. Some 
are inclined to look back with reflective de- 
light upon that idyllic picture which memory 
frames for them. That home was perfect, 
or nearly so; they are inclined to lament the 
passing of the old-fashioned home and to pre- 
dict that it will never come again. I am aware 
of the common words of explanation and ex- 
cuses: "Times are not what they once were;" 
The Old 
Home 
39 40 
The Home 
"The world has changed." It is moving at 
a constantly increasing pace. The stage coach 
will no more come back and replace the train, 
the automobile and the aeroplane, than will 
old-fashioned and outgrown notions, ideas and 
customs come back and supplant our modern 
ways. Obviously, there is truth in this con- 
tention. Anyone who feels that the solution 
of our modern problems of society is by way 
of reversal to the former times and customs, 
will wait until the end of time for satisfaction, 
for it will not come in that way. What so- 
ciety must do and indeed what all construc- 
tive agencies must assist in doing, is to cap- 
ture these modern manners and conveniences 
for righteousness. 
After all, it is not the real home 
that has so much changed, as those 
outward and accessory and material surround- 
ings that have flung themselves across the 
pathway of all of our modern life. If per- 
chance we feel that we are ever to go back to 
the slowly moving ways of our fathers and 
mothers, it certainly requires no prophet to 
predict that this will never happen. But if 
we feel that these material matters have 
changed the fundamental ethical and spirit- 
The Present= 
Day Home The Foundation of the Home 
41 
ual equations of the domestic life-that be- 
cause we ride faster and talk farther and live 
finer, we can not expect the true love of one 
pure man for one pure woman; that in such a 
home we must not look for kindness and con- 
sideration, for respect for the rights of others; 
that children are not to reverence their par- 
ents and to love them and honor them-and if 
needs be to sacrifice for them; if we feel that 
the essential moral sanctions of life and con- 
duct that make the home the lovely place of 
rest and refreshment, are abrogated by the 
differences of modern society, then I make 
bold to answer by saying that this is not only 
the sheerest nonsense, but that we are thereby 
blasting at the very foundation of society. If 
this course is continued, it will pull down the 
whole of civilized life about our heads. 
You can use your phone or your wireless 
instead of making a tiresome journey; you can 
ride out to your business in your limousine 
instead of in a one-horse shay; but if pleasure 
is the real passion of your life; if selfishness 
is your major mood; if you insist upon abso- 
lute independence, and if sacrifice is a forgot- 
ten word, and love an empty sentiment with 
you; if these modern blessings cause you to 
believe that parents need not expect honor in 42 
The Home 
these days, and that the ancient rules of fam- 
ily life have been outgrown; if marriage is 
regarded as a temporary contract that may be 
broken at will; that the passion of the hour is 
supreme in the domination of will and con- 
duct-if this is what you mean by a modern 
home, then there is no need to look farther 
for the cause for our grist of divorces and our 
maelstroms of spiritual disaster. Therefore, 
it is well for us to look to the foundation of 
the home, for if it is weak or crumbling, then 
sooner or later the entire structure will fall; 
and this leads to four definite propositions rel- 
ative to the foundation of the home. 
The first, deals with marriage it- 
self, and insists that modern home 
life can not be the strong social and spiritual 
Gibraltar of the centuries, until the marriage 
relation is undertaken with greater care, more 
thought, loftier motives and higher ideals. 
Our ideas of marriage sometimes undergo se- 
rious and deplorable revision as we contem- 
plate the unhappy homes which come as the 
result of a poor foundation. 
Out of the romance of youth, we are apt to 
form the conviction that the way people get 
married is for two young folks to know each 
The Mar= 
riag Ideal The Foundation of the Home 
43 
other for long years, to share school-day ex- 
periences together, for their families to be- 
come acquainted, for courtship to rise to en- 
gagement, and then in due time in the fullness 
of mutual understanding and ripening love, 
to join two lives together. 
I once supposed that the wedding date was 
fixed far in advance and dreamed over, 
thought over, and lived over. I supposed that 
relatives and friends knew about it and 
planned for it and looked for it; that the min- 
ister perhaps was engaged long enough in 
advance that by no possible chance could he 
have another appointment; and that when the 
day of all days arrived, all that remained was 
the legal consummation of a troth that had 
long been sacred and that had knit two lives 
together. 
But how differently it often happens. Some- 
times it is carried out along the lines I have 
mentioned, but much more often it is not. To 
many, marriage means little more than the 
formal matter of procuring a license and hav- 
ing the ceremony performed. Ministers say 
that a large proportion of their weddings are 
performed with no previous notice, to them, 
or engagement of their services. And some- 
times it seems that neither the bride nor the 44 
The Home 
groom has much previous notice. What can 
society expect of a marriage like that? It 
seems remarkable that under conditions that 
prevail all too generally, so many marriages 
turn out as well as they do. The motives for 
marriage so often seem superficial and inci- 
dental; the plans are so light and frivolous; 
the conceptions of what it all means are so 
remote and so vague; the sanctions are so 
empty of real moral honor and holy affection, 
that to men in the legal profession at least, 
there is small wonder at the constantly in- 
creasing number of divorces. If we are to 
hope for a better society, for less laxness, for 
greater stability and for more wholesome life, 
we certainly must guard more carefully the 
gateway to the marriage altar. Uniform ages 
in all states with the minimum at eighteen 
years for women and twenty-one for men; a 
delay for license and announcement, and real 
appreciation of the sacredness of the vows un- 
dertaken, are some of the protective measures 
that would certainly improve conditions as we 
find them today. 
What then is the ideal marriage? 
It is marriage based upon the 
sanctity that lies in the sacred union which the 
The Ideal 
Marriage The Foundation of the Home 
45 
church made blessed, and the state made legal, 
but which neither can create or annul. 
Love does not necessarily make marriage, 
but marriage must be based upon love when 
consummated and continued. When love goes 
dead and the forces of affection that flowed 
out in the union of lives, cease to carry their 
beauty and sweetness, then the cup of marriage 
is dashed from the lips and broken upon the 
hard stones of adversity. There may be such 
a thing as a loveless marriage, but I have no 
conception of it. Sometimes the individual 
mistakes desire for love; sometimes either or 
both of the contracting parties are self-de- 
ceived; as they have been led forward by an 
impulse, or have been under an infatuation. 
They have not stopped to think that marriage 
is a serious matter. After the familiarity that 
is brought about by the close association of 
the two lives, has been satisfied, there comes 
at times an inner revulsion and distaste. The 
vows become manacles-bonds of sad restraint 
that break the heart. Something must give 
way, for the human spirit will not be bound. 
It fights against and resists enforced slavery 
or bonds, to which it does not willingly sur- 
render itself. The spirit goes down, joy de- 
parts and love dies; then all has gone. For 46 
The Home 
what is a woman when she becomes dead to 
love? What is a man when no longer his heart 
bounds toward the object that was once his 
affection? Can two souls in such straits be 
made to live together and prove a blessing to 
each other? Can the man prove a stay to the 
woman whom he has vowed to protect and 
cherish until death removes her from his pres- 
ence? The tragedy of God's universe is found 
in the loveless home, which should never be 
permitted to exist. 
The second vital proposition in the 
foundation of the home, deals with 
the domestic relations after the home is es- 
tablished: "Taking each other for better or 
for worse." This sacred compact should be 
more permanent in the thinking of husband 
and wife. All the affairs of the home should 
gather around a principle of stability and con- 
tinuance. The coming of children should be 
part of the complete and permanent idealism 
of the home. Love should govern all con- 
tacts and direct all policies. Inevitably, there 
will be times of friction, differences of opin- 
ion, perhaps even a misunderstanding; but if 
love and respect and consideration rule, these 
differences will be but minor and temporary. 
"For Better 
or for 
Worse" FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE 
The kind of preparation for marriage given by the parents 
of the past generation 
47 48 
The Home 
Modern So= 
ciety in its 
Relation to 
Home Life 
It is true that modern society is 
more straining, more trying to 
ideal home life than the conditions 
of former days. The automobile, the theater, 
the movie, the club, the fashionable party, the 
many calls and engagements, add greatly and 
grieviously to our modern social complex. 
Too much pleasure away from home, and too 
much pleasure enjoyed separately by the dif- 
ferent members of the family, spell much of 
the disintegration of home life. 
In my experience as a practicing attorney, 
covering a period of several years, I was ap- 
palled by the number of families that I found 
disrupted and divided by nagging, spiteful- 
ness and bitterness between husband and wife. 
I often wondered if these unhappy homes 
could not be made to have a vision of ideal 
life. Is there no way in which such homes 
can be changed into abodes of peace and un- 
selfishness? It was a tragedy that I witnessed 
as I came to know certain circles in the course 
of my professional intimacy, which would not 
conceal from me what they would conceal 
from their ministers or others-the inner se- 
crets of their unhappy existence. It is true 
that unhappy homes are common. It is a 
fact that there are many homes where nagging The Foundation of the Home 
49 
and strife play a large part in the daily life. 
It is true that there is room for radical im- 
provement in the home life of America. Many 
a family whose home life seems to the average 
acquaintance, to be almost ideal, is in reality 
almost dissolved by inner troubles. Such are 
not the kind of homes in which to properly 
rear children. 
I remember that a few years ago, a friend 
of mine, a prominent social worker, came to 
me with a broken heart. He had discovered 
an estrangement between a man and wife 
whom he had always thought to be a most per- 
fect example of what a husband and wife 
should be. They were contemplating divorce, 
but were dissuaded by the united efforts of 
my friend and others. Since that time, a son 
brought up in the atmosphere of that unhappy 
home, has been sentenced to the state reforma- 
tory for the commission of a crime. 
For nineteen and a quarter cen- 
turies, the Golden Rule has en- 
gaged the attention of men. No philosopher 
or teacher before Jesus Christ, or since, has 
proclaimed anything equal to it. It is a prin- 
ciple of conduct which all men are charged 
to reduce to action. If reduced to action, at- 
tempts must be made to apply it. 
The Golden 
Rule 50 
The Home 
There are those who say that the Golden 
Rule is an impossibility; others tell us that it 
must be interpreted. In one way, the greatest 
novel of the last twenty-five years, "In His 
Steps"-judged by its circulation, the number 
of languages into which it has been translated, 
and the importance of its subject-matter-is a 
practical interpretation of the Golden Rule. 
It not only interprets, but assumes that it is a 
practical thing to do. 
I propose that we try, each of us, to live it 
fully in the home. Let us practice it more 
fully there. Personal habits will inevitably 
show in the other relations of life. If we show 
no regard for the rights and feelings of others 
in the home, we soon become irritating factors 
in every relation of life elsewhere. And so 
small a matter as taking the best piece of cake, 
or of shirking one's share of household re- 
sponsibility or demanding first chance at all 
the pleasures, may easily spoil one for any 
service anywhere. 
There are some households where it is al- 
ways the same one who sits at home in order 
that others may go. There is a great deal of 
truth in the remark, "If you want to know 
whether you are a Christian or not, think 
whether you are a comfortable person with The Foundation of the Home 
51 
whom to live." Children can recognize and 
practice the Golden Rule in the home. It is 
good for them if they have brothers and sis- 
ters with whom they can share things. Let us 
have a full revival of the Golden Rule in oui 
home life. 
A third item of the most vital con- 
cern, is the lack of religious in- 
struction in the home. This is 
vital in laying a true foundation. Just as sec- 
ular instruction has been delegated to the 
public schools, so much of the religious in- 
struction is delegated to the Sunday-schools; 
and in many of them but little religious in- 
struction is to be had. Our programs of re- 
ligious education in the church and through 
the church are just beginning to claim ade- 
quate recognition. They should be enlarged 
and perfected. Nevertheless, they can never 
supplant the initial, personal and vital reli- 
gious instruction which parents should give to 
their own children. It is not a question of 
option; it is one of obligation. The very des- 
tiny of the child and the very safety of society, 
depend upon it. 
There are wayward sons and daughters even 
from Godly homes; but the rule formulated 
Religious 
Instruction 
in the 
Home 52 
The Home 
from wide study of concrete cases is, that 
though many children of Christian homes do 
grieve the hearts of their parents and wander 
into by-paths, yet it is hard for them to shake 
off permanently those early influences for 
good. The child whose first altar is its 
mother's knee, whose earliest recollections 
carry back to what Robert Burns calls "the 
priestly father," taking down the Bible and 
leading the family in morning or evening 
prayers-that child may npt walk in perfect 
ways always, and may give promise of moral 
disaster; but the chances are much in favor of 
a return to his early spiritual heritage. It 
will be hard and almost impossible for him to 
turn, finally, away from such memories and 
such instructions; but if the child goes out 
into life without such memories, such influ- 
ences, the chances are much against his Chris- 
tian consecration in later life. 
The fourth proposition hinges 
around the word "spiritual." In- 
herently, marriage is sacred; it is almost sacra- 
mental-it is spiritual. If it is intellectual 
only, then it is cold platonism; if it is emo- 
tional only, then it is perverted passion; if it 
is social only, then it is a contract prostituted 
A Spiritual 
Compact The Foundation of the Home 
53 
and debased. It must be spiritual. I do not 
use the word "spiritual" here in the narrow 
sense, "churchly"; although religious compat- 
ibilities are desirable and important. What I 
do mean, is that the sanctions are essentially 
ethical and spiritual, and without these, there 
is little hope for society. Without these, the 
home may continue; marriage may go on; 
without these, separations and divorce may be 
avoided; but without these society can not 
reach the highest of worthy achievement and 
spiritual performance. It takes grace to live 
a beautiful life in the home. It takes God to 
build our domestic altars. It takes His love 
to kindle our truest and holiest loves. We 
may have our laws, we may lay down our re- 
strictions, we may exercise care in the entrance 
upon the marriage relation - all this we 
should do; but God should be at the cen- 
ter of our homes; His love as revealed in His 
Son should be our daily inspiration. The fam- 
ily altar should not be discarded in the hectic 
hurry of our busy lives. Our children should 
be cultured in the spiritual graces; they should 
learn within the sacred precincts of the home, 
those lessons of faith and service, of justice 
and sacrifice, which later they are to apply, 
out on the wider fields of life's activities. CHAPTER II 
FATHERS AND MOTHERS 
"It is the fathers and mothers who make today and 
determine tomorrow." 
Parents- 
Fathers and 
Mothers 
For a good many years, I have 
been dismayed somewhat by the 
difference between the dictionary definition of 
the word "parent" and the definition as it is 
accepted by the average group of men and 
women in a community. If you have been 
accustomed to listening to addresses in school 
circles, church circles, in parents' and parents- 
teachers' associations, you have found that al- 
most without an exception, parents are 
mothers. This seems to be the case whether 
the speaker be a man or woman, and 
regardless of the topic which is being dis- 
cussed. For the purpose of child study, for 
consideration of child welfare, child hygiene, 
recreation and amusements, school curricu- 
lum, moral, physical and religious training- 
even when meetings are held in the evening at 
the place and hour supposed to be most con- 
venient to men-parents still seem to be 
mothers. 
54 IN OUR HANDS RESTS THE SHAPING OF THEIR CHARACTERS 
C. Underwood & Underwood 
55 56 
The Home 
Yet in spite of this rather discouraging fact, 
I insist upon following the definition in the 
dictionary, believing that fathers as well as 
mothers are parents, sharing equally the re- 
sponsibility for the care and preservation of 
the sons and daughters of earth. 
It is interesting to look at various 
types of men and their own sons. 
Here is a boy, perhaps, that for the moment 
displeased his father, and by impatient word 
and gesture he is sent hurrying from his pres- 
ence. Or the young son is asking the man who 
brought him into the world, some questions 
about this old planet on which he finds him- 
self. If you are to wait for the father's answer 
to the keen questioning of this fresh young 
mind, so eager for knowledge, you will find 
that sometimes one question is answered; in 
rare instances five or six questions; and then 
Dad's newspaper wins, and the boy is sent 
away with his "everlasting questions." 
To the young father who impatiently re- 
plies to his son, "I won't answer another ques- 
tion tonight-Go ask your mother-Go to bed 
-You ought to be in bed now-No, not an- 
other word!" I want to say, "Just a few years, 
and your son will ask you no more questions. 
The 
*'Question= 
ing" Boy A REAL BOY 
57 58 
The Home 
You will give him a lot of information about 
life in general, about common sense and be- 
havior, about his behavior in particular. In- 
formation and wisdom will fall very gener- 
ously from yours lips, but your son will not 
pay the slightest attention. Now is your 
great chance to answer the questions of your 
boy; you had better take it. But the average 
father does not take it, and the son goes to bed 
unsatisfied and rebellious. 
We can never blind ourselves to 
the fact that these parents-this 
man and this woman-brought these ques- 
tioning, never-still-a-moment, human beings 
into existence. In obedience to nature's law 
and for the gratification of the instincts, for 
the perpetuation of life, these children came 
into being. Somewhere along the way, they 
became thinking minds, human spirits, living 
souls-they did not ask to come. It is only on 
the stage, in the appealing and poetic play, 
that little souls clamor to be born. You, who 
are parents-You dared to launch these spir- 
its upon the sea of human experience. They 
had nothing to say about it. They did not 
choose their parents; they did not choose their 
race, their color, or their social status. Indeed, 
Parents 
Responsible Fathers and Mothers 
59 
they had nothing to say about the time or place 
of the launching. Not a word about the lan- 
guage they should speak. They could choose 
neither poverty nor riches. If the sea of life 
should buffet and the storms beat upon them 
with such fury that in despair one day they 
should cry, "I wish I had never been born!" 
it will be a futile cry. You have made them 
live; you have forced upon them, without their 
asking for it, this thing called life. They are 
here-your sons and daughters. 
We can hear one of them calling 
to you now from his little white 
crib, over and over, "Mother, mother, I want 
a drink of water." The stairs are long and you 
have traversed them scores of times since 
morning, and that child had a drink of water 
just before he went to bed. Now, it is very 
hard to think of parental responsibility under 
these circumstances; but the fact remains. Or 
it may be that some father feels two little sharp 
elbows on his knees, and a little voice is ask- 
ing, "Daddy, what makes the chimney 
smoke?" Or, "Where does the smoke go, 
Daddy?" Or, "Daddy, where was I before I 
was born?" Now, Daddy is a weary man. 
"Where 
Does the 
Smoke Go?" 60 
The Home 
The affairs of state or city, or personal busi- 
ness; the struggle and anxiety that crush the 
heart, have surrounded him all day. Daddy 
does not care where the smoke goes, and he is 
a little annoyed at the daring of a mind that 
frames such concrete questions concerning 
himself before birth. Daddy is not in the 
mood for the consideration of the question of 
parental responsibility; nevertheless, the facts 
are there. That child is dependent upon him 
for life-his body, mind and spirit. More 
than that; what the child is to be in the long 
days to come, will depend upon what you, his 
father, and you, his mother, do to him now 
that you have given him-life. 
Some time ago, on a oeautiful 
spring day, a father and mother 
were looking at a tiny little red thing, all hid- 
den except the cry, in dainty, delicate blan- 
kets. It was a boy, a perfect specimen of hu- 
manity. The other two children were girls, 
and in spite of the fact that to an Anglo-Saxon 
man, boys and girls are supposed to be of equal 
value, there was a ring of special rejoicing in 
the father's voice when he announced "It's a 
boy!" 
Environ= 
ment Fathers and Mothers 
61 
It was a beautiful home into which this boy 
had come; wealth, culture, refinement, gener- 
ations of strong, earnest Christian character, 
were his inheritance; but what would have 
happened if this precious bundle of possibili- 
ties were taken from its nursery, to China, and 
exchanged for a tiny, almond-eyed little boy 
in a well-to-do home on a very narrow and 
dirty street, in a walled town far from haunts 
of white-faced foreigners. 
Let your imagination run, building upon 
the facts of inheritance and environment, and 
picture what would happen. With the little 
son of the cultured Christian home in arms, 
you cross the Pacific and land at Shanghai; 
take passage on the Yangzti, going for days 
up that mighty stream until you reach the 
terminal wharf for river boats; on smaller 
craft, then by chair, you make your way to the 
humble home; leaving the white-skinned, 
straight-eyed baby there with a motherly 
Chinese woman, giving her instructions to 
bring him up as her son. After searching 
about for a while, you take from the arm of 
his mother, a little Chinese boy, a perfect phys- 
ical specimen; back down the Yangzti and 
across the Pacific you come with your bundle 62 
The Home 
of Oriental babyhood. You give him to the 
care of an understanding woman, in a home of 
wealth, culture, refinement and opportunity. 
The years-twelve of them-pass by. You 
are now ready to exchange these boys-to give 
to the Oriental lad and the Occidental lad, 
each his own people and his own land. You 
ask the parents of the Chinese boy to come 
over to America and claim their son. They 
will find him a fine, sturdy little fellow. His 
eyes will slant, of course; his skin will be 
ivory; but one thinks little of that. He will 
be as tall as the average American boy of his 
age, dressed as an American boy in a pros- 
perous home is dressed. The Chinese par- 
ents are brought to his room, where sur- 
rounded by games and books, he is at work 
with the details of a home-made radio set. He 
looks at these parents with great curiosity. 
Why have they come? Are these the people 
about whom he has read in school? What a 
costume they wear! They begin to speak; is 
it a language? Can they really understand 
each other? At lunch time, he watches their 
attempts to eat with knife and fork, and 
laughs in spite of himself. The host serves a 
Chinese dish, and the boy, observing their skill Fathers and Mothers 
63 
with chop-sticks, is fascinated. After lunch, 
they tell him the truth. He is one of the 
Orient. He is to go home to China. But he 
will not go. He flees in terror to his Anglo- 
Saxon mother by adoption. He shrieks for 
his white-skinned, blue-eyed father. He will 
never leave them; he is an American boy, he 
is not Chinese, he cries. And in all save his 
body, he speaks the truth. 
Meanwhile, the Anglo-Saxon boy beyond 
the farthest hills of the Yangzti border, sees 
for the first time his American parents. 
Screaming with fear at their approach, he 
calls at them, his face half hidden in his 
Chinese mother's gown, "Foreign devil! for- 
eign devil!" which are the only English words 
he knows. He rushes to the street, through 
the mud, over the pigs and dogs, to seek his 
playmates and show them the curiosity; the 
ridiculous foreigners, with their unspeakable 
clothes. The foreigners, who could not eat 
with chop-sticks, though the best ivory ones 
were given them-the foreigners who did not 
know how to drink tea properly. The Anglo- 
Saxon man and woman talk together in as- 
tonishment. The boy listens. Now the Chi- 
nese father tells the boy that these are his par- 
ents, he must go with them. His skin is fair, 64 
The Home 
his eyes are blue, his hair is light; but he cries 
aloud in terror. He calls upon the gods. He 
will not go; he is Chinese, and he begs his 
Chinese father to rescue him. And in all save 
his body, he is a Chinese boy. His sins are the 
sins of Chinese boyhood; his thoughts are the 
thoughts of a Chinese boy of twelve. 
With that little human thing, wildly waving 
its red hands, its parents may do as they will. 
It can learn to speak French, Russian and 
Chinese, or Hindustani, with equal ease. It 
can learn to sit on a mat, or on a chair; or to 
squat in the dust. It will eat with chop-sticks 
as a Korean, Japanese or Chinese, or with its 
fingers as a Hindu. It will be Catholic, 
Protestant, or Hebrew; Mohammedan or 
Buddhist. It can not decide for itself for long 
years to come, either its language, its food, its 
moral and physical standards or its religious 
faith. These children brought into being by 
you are yours, to make them what you will. 
The consciousness of it ought to thrill you with 
joy at what you may do, or with fear lest you 
should fail. 
The law of consequence is a pow- 
erful law, and parents can not 
escape it. Trained mothers may look help- 
The Law of 
Consequence Fathers and Mothers 
65 
lessly upon their sixteen-year-old daughters; 
criticize them, upbraid them, weep over them 
■-but the facts remain, they made them. A 
little girl six days old, six weeks old, six 
months old, may be made into anything; but 
at sixteen, it is late-in most cases, too late. 
A sad-faced man who is making a heroic 
struggle against great odds in the business 
world, took the train for a college town. His 
son, a freshman, was in serious trouble. He 
had meant nothing but trouble. Trouble in 
the grade schools, trouble in high school, and 
trouble ever since. This was the end. The 
father was through with him. It was a hard 
thing for an upright man to face. Yet that 
father, honest enough according to his own 
standards, was known as a shrewd bargainer. 
"He is a good business man," men said of him. 
While he was about his business, in the years 
when his son was growing up, facing difficul- 
ties, he knew no more about him than as 
though he had been a boarder in his home, 
for whom he had to provide certain things. 
Now the law of consequences meets him. A 
disinterested father and a weak-willed, indul- 
gent mother who took the easiest way, and 
the product-a son, a keen disappointment, 66 
The Home 
bringing disgrace upon them; demanding 
money, time and attention now, when it was 
too late for any of these things to help much 
in the formation of his character. 
At least eighty per cent of the re- 
sponsibility for the bodies, minds 
and souls of the youth of our day, rests upon 
those who have brought them into the world- 
their parents. Even the most tolerant of judges 
who have had experience with life, can not 
put more than twenty per cent of the responsi- 
bility upon the community. Little by little, 
parents have been shifting their responsibility, 
a few per cent here and a few per cent there, 
until many American cities are filled with 
parents unwilling to take even fifty per cent 
of the responsibility for the product called the 
modern youth; but that does not change the 
facts. Those who have given them life, are 
before God and the future responsible for 
their product. 
Certain it is that without you who have 
dared to call these souls to life, and destiny, 
there would be no world; and certain it is, that 
without you who, having called them to life, 
have given the best that you are and have, to 
make them worthy products, strong, high- 
What Will 
the Product 
Be? Copyright by Underwood & Underwood. 
A REAL MAN IN THE MAKING 
67 68 
The Home 
minded and pure, this world would not be a 
place where man could endure life. 
When we see mothers with babies 
in their arms, we often wonder 
whom they are holding there so carefully- 
what great soul, that shall lead the world to 
peace, or that perchance shall lead it to vic- 
tory over famine and disease. When we see 
some earnest father with his little ones by the 
hand, or with his sturdy son trudging along- 
side him, we often ask ourselves, "Who walks 
there beside him? Some future leader of the 
trained men of commerce and of trade? Some 
soul who shall overcome hatred and greed- 
one who shall shape anew the destinies of a 
great nation?" No one can say. You may 
hold in your arms the great leader for whom 
the world waits. You may at this moment be 
tucking him snugly in bed. 
One cold, rainy February day in the year 
1809, three men stood talking around the stove 
in a little Kentucky village store. "What's 
the news?" said one. "Well," said his neigh- 
bor, "no special news-nuthin' important. 
They are doin' the same old fool things up in 
Washington; a cargo was lost at sea with some 
cotton on board; old widow Brown's cow 
Who Walks 
There? ABRAHAM LINCOLN 
69 70 
The Home 
died; too bad. Oh, yes, they have got another 
baby down to Lincoln's-a boy. No, nuthin' 
important; news been short, methinks." 
Could he only have had the prophet's eye, 
and looked down the years! February 12, 
1809-a boy. How could that humble mother 
know that every school boy would one day 
know that date? Could she know that to mil- 
lions of people, it should be the day of the 
birth of hope? How could she know that 
some day, standing in the highest place of 
honor and trust that the American people can 
bestow, his homely, honest, kindly face, upon 
which sympathy, love and mercy had carved 
many a line, turned toward the group of states- 
men in the hour of his triumph, he would say, 
"All that I am, I owe to my angel mother." 
What greater reward could a mother ask than 
this? 
I do not know how I should feel 
if I looked down at night into lit- 
tle faces, knowing that I had brought them 
into this puzzling, terrible world with its 
mixed measure of pain and joy. I do not know 
how I should feel if I looked up at some sweet 
girl upon the platform at commencement, or 
at some strong lad ready to go into the game; 
"I Do Not 
Know"-Do 
You? Fathers and Mothers 
71 
and knew that 1 had brought them into being, 
called them without their consent into the 
problems and opportunities of life; but of this 
I am sure-if I had failed them; if through 
self-indulgence, carelessness or unwillingness 
to bear the burden, I had done for them less 
than my best, T would cry aloud to them and 
to my God, "Forgive! forgive!" CHAPTER III 
IS MOTHER TO BLAME? 
A noted minister some time ago 
preached a sermon on the passing 
of the old-fashioned home, taking 
for his text the words, "Go home." "To make 
a good home," he said, "you must be there. 
A good home is not given by God, it is made 
by you. He will help you, but He won't 
excuse you; and to make it you must plan for 
it. That means that we shall have to take the 
trouble, but we are put into this world to take 
trouble, and there is no trouble we can take 
which will pay more liberal dividends." 
Whatever the rest of the world mav do, it 
is your duty and mine to make our firesides 
hallowed spots, radiant with sweet memories. 
We can do it, and we must, if we would be 
true to those whom God has given us to love. 
With the morning, comes the signal for 
dispersion; but when the evening hour has 
called us back, when the lights are on and we 
and ours, with the troubled and darkened 
world outside, are shut in together then is our 
Making 
Home a 
Hallowed 
Spot 
72 Is Mother to Blame? 
73 
supreme chance to make impressions of the 
sweetness and simplicity and sanctity of the 
home, which time can never erase. 
Too much has been written about 
the shortcomings of the "younger 
generation," and too little about the funda- 
mental causes. Educational and religious 
heads have conducted one campaign after an- 
other for the upholding of higher standards. 
Legislatures and the National Government 
have enacted laws to regulate the public mor- 
als and safeguard the future standard of citi- 
zenship. But the beginning has been made at 
the wrong end. Social workers tell us that 
what is needed is a campaign among mothers. 
They believe that present conditions are the 
result of unadjustment in the homes; that par- 
ental laxity is the root of the whole evil, and 
that mothers especially are now so obsessed 
with outside excitements that they are leaving 
their children to commercial exploitation. 
Mary Roberts Rinehart, a well-known 
writer, says: "Back of this laxity of standards 
among the young people, lies the death of the 
home spirit among parents, and too frequently 
among women. We have too many wives and 
mothers who only board at home today. What 
Parental 
Laxity 74 
The Home 
we need is intensive home cultivation. Some- 
times I think we exhausted our small stock of 
spirituality and idealism in the years of the 
war. We are becoming a grossly material 
people." 
In addition to this relaxation of 
the old moral creeds, we find that 
a commercial value on youth is being realized. 
We are selling our young people to the makers 
of exotic and extravagant clothes; to the boot- 
legger; to the road-house proprietors and to 
the jazz musicians, and they resell them at 
great profit. I do not blame youth, but I do 
blame the exploiters of that youth. The plain 
truth is that we have allowed outsiders to 
usurp the functions of the home. 
There are too many mothers running about, 
attending club meetings when they ought to 
be at home, looking after their children. 
Too many mothers doing social agency work 
-busy in saving other folks' children, and 
neglecting their own. 
Miss Alice Robertson, who was 
the sole woman representative in Congress for 
some time, likewise has strong convictions that 
mothers' influence at home is not what it ought 
to be. In her courageous way, she challenges 
Commercial 
izing Youth 
An Opinion Is Mother to Blame? 
75 
the mothers to change their ways if they wish 
to save the home from bitter criticism and 
their daughters from worse. 
"A girl is like a flower," she said, when 
asked for an opinion on the subject; "give her 
sunshine and loving care and she will bloom 
into beautiful womanhood; neglect her and 
she will grow wild like a weed and be com- 
mon. It is silly and useless to criticize a young 
girl for what she does and the way she does it. 
She will not be a bit more extreme than the 
mother allows; so why should we not go back 
and place the blame in its proper place, on 
the mother who permits her daughter to do 
such things, to go here, there and everywhere 
unchaperoned. 
"A lot of mothers are too easily won by 
their daughters. If they hear that Alice 
Brown's mother lets her do so and so, they 
think it must be all right, or Mrs. Brown 
would not have approved of it. Young peo- 
ple are allowed too much freedom, and 
{•nothers know too little about the company 
they keep. Many mothers do not realize that 
young girls away from home, at school or col- 
lege, are more carefully guarded than they are 
at home. If a girl is invited to lunch with an- 
other person, from one of the eastern schools, 76 
The Home 
the friend is not only required to write a for- 
mal request for her company, but that young 
girl is chaperoned from the moment she leaves 
school until she returns." 
People who know anything at all about the 
Oklahoma Congresswoman, know about 
"Suzanne," the Indian girl who was adopted 
at the age of six by Miss Robertson and reared 
and educated by her. Miss Robertson says, 
"When Suzanne was growing up, I wanted 
her to have as much of the pleasure that I had 
been deprived of as possible, and she did; but 
I never allowed her to go riding in the moon- 
light or anywhere else, unchaperoned; yet she 
had as many, if not more, male friends than 
any of the other girls, and married a splendid 
man." All four of Suzanne's children call 
Miss Alice "Granny," thirteen adopted chil- 
dren call her "Grandmother," and thousands 
of young married couples, to say nothing of 
soldier boys scattered over the country, who 
benefited by her bounty and mother love, call 
her a more precious name still. 
Miss Robertson takes the position that 
"Girls have been the same ever since the world 
began; it's the mothers who have changed. 
Every chance I get, I give them some old- 
fashioned advice. I tell them that they have Is Mother to Blame? 
77 
the greatest and nicest and best in life if they 
only knew it. I had rather be the mother of 
a big family, than be president. The love that 
prompts a mother in her work, should make 
the most menial task beautiful. I say to 
mothers that if they played less bridge and 
took more interest in community work and 
Parent-Teachers' Associations, we wouldn't be 
hearing so much about the laxity of standards 
among the young people." 
Facing facts, one is compelled to 
admit that with the reserve that 
has gone out of the personality of 
our young women, has gone nobility out of 
the attitude of our young men toward them. 
If men are not looking down on women, at 
least they are not looking up to them as they 
used to do. The grandmothers of days gone 
by, did not need to make themselves shock- 
ingly attractive in order to catch the eye of 
the male, or to keep him from running off with 
the other girl; nor were they ever informed 
by their mothers that they would rather see 
them "popular than pious." Too many of the 
modern-day mothers think that their mothers 
and grandmothers are old fogies, who must 
not be allowed to interfere with the daughters' 
Are Men 
Looking 
Down Upon 
Women? 78 
The Home 
good times. They not only permit their 
daughters to indulge in social habits which 
are destroying the future of the home, but they 
talk about it with a show of pride. 
The emancipation of woman has 
diverted her interest more or less 
from home-keeping to national house-keeping. 
She is active in civic affairs, in her clubs and 
women's organizations, for the betterment of 
public welfare generally; and all these cer- 
tainly need her co-operation and help; but it 
should not be at the neglect of her own fam- 
ily. Certainly, home should come first; and 
no allurements of outside needs should cause 
the mother to lose sight of this duty; for at 
home lies her biggest opportunity for the mak- 
ing of a better citizenship. 
In this age of independence, when women 
have equal opportunities with men to engage 
in business and professions, and are proving 
successful in their new field of endeavor, the 
stay-at-home, comparing her lot with others, 
is apt to feel that she is wasting time on her 
ceaseless round of domestic duties, and that 
she is not getting the best out of life. She is 
inclined to envy the woman who has written 
a good book, has painted a masterpiece, or be- 
The Biggest 
Thing Is Mother to Blame? 
79 
come famous as a lawyer or legislator. But 
she should not think that any pleasure or satis- 
faction derived from these outside matters, is 
comparable to the pleasure and satisfaction 
in later life which a mother will get from her 
children, who have been carefully trained in 
the fundamentals of right living. 
Despite the endless responsibility and worry 
attached, the biggest thing a man and woman 
can do, is to train to good, useful citizenship, 
a family of children. They should be brought 
up with some sense of responsibility to the 
future; they should be taught early how to do 
things. Otherwise, they will grow up, look- 
ing upon life as a long holiday. Both boys 
and girls should learn something useful by 
which they may earn a living if necessary. 
As to the far-reaching conse- 
quences of the letting down of the 
social bars, of parental indulgence 
and laxity of standards, the well-to-do 
mothers, who are setting the example for the 
other mothers, seem scarcely to realize how 
closely it is linked up with delinquency and 
even crime. The number of girls now being 
picked up at night by the police of big cities, 
is astonishing officials and welfare workers 
Parental 
Indulgence 
and 
Delinquency 80 
The Home 
alike. The police are finding it necessary to 
provide details at dance halls, restaurants and 
other places of nocturnal amusement where 
officers never appeared before. Even drivers 
of public conveyances have to be watched, to 
keep them from driving with young girls into 
districts where they are in danger. 
What are these young girls, the majority of 
whom are in their early 'teens, doing out at 
all hours of the night and at such places? 
Where are their natural guardians-their 
mothers and fathers? On this phase of par- 
ental laxity, a noted woman federal judge, 
who was formerly a juvenile judge, gives 
some startling facts. When interviewed, she 
was quite emphatic in her opinion as to where 
the blame should be placed. In truth, one of 
the first changes she made in the order of her 
court, was to put parents on trial before try- 
ing their children. 
"Many a young girl is started on the wrong 
path," she said, "by the false ideals instilled 
in her as a child at home. After reading the 
records of some of the delinquent girls, many 
of them from comfortable homes, and seeing 
the lack of training and protection thev have 
had, it is no wonder that thev take the only 
course they know. The girl who is growing Is Mother to Blame? 
81 
up is readily influenced, and an easy prey for 
unprincipled people. The responsibility for 
her welfare rests largely upon her mother; 
lacking the proper care and amusement at 
home, her wants and needs are left to com- 
mercial exploitation. 
"Girls who make serious mistakes and get 
into trouble, are the result of vain mothers, 
who have brought them up to believe that the 
chief end of life is to be attractive to men; to 
be popular, to be desired. From the time they 
are babies, they are urged to make the most of 
their physical charms." 
No greater profession than that of 
wife and mother exists, and while 
in a certain sense it is a laudable ambition for 
mothers to want their daughters to marry, 
they should pay more attention to the quality 
of the men with whom they become ac- 
quainted, rather than the quantity. This is 
certainly true of the young girls who, lacking 
amusement at home, go out into the public 
dance halls and other blaces of amusement. 
Seeking pooularitv, thev date uo for joy rides 
and late suppers with men thev know nothing 
about and whom their parents never saw. 
When the inevitable toll is exacted, they pay 
The Price 
They Pay BEWARE OF THE CHANCE ACQUAINTANCE 
82 Is Mother to Blame? 
83 
in the belief that this is one of the require- 
ments of popularity! Not only have they been 
taught nothing of the danger that lurks in 
the making of promiscuous acquaintances, but 
nothing of the sacredness of the human body. 
But in regard to sex, the problem of the 
girl can not be considered apart from the prob- 
lem of the boy. What a duty the mother of 
the boy owes to the girls with whom he comes 
in contact, and to the one who later becomes 
his wife! Everything is a matter of educa- 
tion. The mother of the little boy can train 
him to demand that the little girls he goes with 
be modest and behave decently. Everything 
is a matter of supply and demand. The only 
way to solve the problem of prostitution, is to 
decrease the demand for prostitution. If this 
is done at all, it will be done by the mother of 
the boy. Women can succeed where man- 
made laws have failed. 
Tt is an age of unrest, carelessness, 
discontent, and too much leisure, 
which has affected youth as seriously as it has 
evervthing else. What we need is reformation 
in the home-a return to the sweet, sane in- 
fluence of the old-fashioned home; and it de- 
pends largely upon mother. She should hold 
Reformation 
in the Home 84 
The Home 
a tight rein on the young people. If they go 
out at night, it is mother's duty to know where 
and with whom they are going, and to sit up 
until the last one of the brood is in bed. If she 
is careless about this, then she has only her- 
self to blame if the children grow up head- 
strong and insolent. 
Someone has said that there is still obedi- 
ence in the American home, but that it is the 
obedience of parents to their children! If this 
be true, and we know it is, there is yet hope; 
because this condition can be remedied. The 
young people of today should not be con- 
demned. What we need to do is to arouse the 
mothers to their responsibilities and to do 
away with all this talk about the double stand- 
ard, and we will then be able to face these 
problems calmly and fairly. 
The wife of one of the highest officials of 
the United States Government considers the 
"old-fashioned home training" for children 
so important that not even after her husband 
became governor of a great state and later be- 
came Vice-President of the United States, 
would she allow the home life of her boys to 
be interfered with, but had it arranged so that 
they could continue on in the little rented Is Mother to Blame? 
85 
double house where their earliest impression- 
able years had been spent. 
A sixteen-year-old daughter from 
a beautiful home of wealth was 
dressing to go out, one night, and when her 
mother asked her where she was going, her 
retort was, "Oh, mother, don't be so old-fash- 
ioned! Nobody tells her mother where she 
is going, these days." Imagine this! It is 
obvious where the fault lies. That child's de- 
fiance of authority dates back to the cradle. 
She is the result of no laxity of standards, but 
of laxity of discipline and training on her 
mother's part. Sometimes it seems that 
mothers have let their children get away from 
them because they have laid too much stress 
upon the opportunities outside of the home, 
and too little on the actual home environment; 
that is, in permitting the young people to take 
advantage of the modern methods at school 
and elsewhere, they have lost sight of the im- 
portance of keeping up with the modern trend 
at home. 
"There's No Place Like Home" is the 
sweetest song ever sung-but why do we so 
rarely hear the younger generation singing it? 
Mother's 
Problem 86 
The Home 
"Then" and 
"Now" 
The wife of a prominent Cabinet 
Member was asked this question: 
"How do conditions differ now from what 
they were when you were a girl?" "So much," 
she admitted, "that it is hardly fair to make 
comparisons between the young people of my 
day and of today. To begin with, our re- 
quirements and enjoyments were simpler. 
Girls did nothing more strenuous than play 
croquet. When we went to parties, it was al- 
ways in groups or with older people. In that 
day, the girl who defied the conventions was 
considered "not nice." Nowadays, entirely 
different customs prevail, and freedom of as- 
sociation is permitted among the young 
people." 
Some of them have abused their freedom, 
just as did the girl who was "not nice," when 
she broke over the traces in the past. In most 
cases, I think this is a result of wrong home 
influences. Girls either have too much pleas- 
ure and too little responsibility, or too much 
responsibility and too little pleasure. Some 
of them work so hard at the office and have so 
few pleasures at home, that they become reck- 
less and go farther than they ordinarily would 
under normal conditions at home. Is Mother to Blame? 
87 
Home En= 
vironment 
The young girl of today does not 
take to housework like her mother 
or her grandmother, for the reason that its 
importance is not as big to her. This has been 
brought about by the new order of things. The 
economic pressure and the opportunities for 
women in the business and professional world, 
seem so much more worth while than home- 
making. Higher education is no doubt wise 
for girls; they should prepare themselves for 
some specific work in life, whether there is 
need for it or not, as the time may come when 
it will stand them in good stead; but all col- 
leges for women should have courses in Home 
Economics and Domestic Science, along with 
the Classics. 
In New York, the public schools are being 
equipped with a model flat by the Domestic 
Science Department, so that the young girls 
may be given some training in efficient house- 
keeping. What a commentary on the present- 
day mother! How much better it would be if 
girls were brought up unconsciously absorb- 
ing the details of making a home. By en- 
couraging them to work in the kitchen to sur- 
prise father with some delectable dish or to 
get up little spreads in the evening when the 
young people drop in, it could be made to 88 
The Home 
seem as much fun as dancing or tennis, and 
not nearly so strenuous; besides accomplish- 
ing the three-fold purpose of giving the young 
people a good time at home; the ability to 
make the preparation; and the acquirement of 
ease and charm in dispensing hospitality. 
Never before have we needed as skilful 
home-makers as we need today. Is mother to 
blame? With so many outside attractions, if 
we want to keep our young people at home we 
must put up a stiff competition. There is no 
influence which can touch that of the home. 
If made sufficiently attractive, the young peo- 
ple will prefer staying at home rather than 
seeking all their pleasures outside. 
In one of the most pleasant homes 
of my knowledge, the mother has 
instructed her children to adopt these four 
resolutions: 
First: I will always be perfectly respect- 
ful to my father. 
Second: I will do all I can to make home 
a place of peace and rest and enjoyment for 
him. 
Third: I will endeavor to appreciate all he 
does for our home and be grateful for all his 
kindness to me. 
A Wise 
Mother Is Mother to Blame? 
89 
Fourth: I will try to live by a high stand- 
ard of character so that I may be a child in 
whom he takes delight and satisfaction. 
It is needless for me to add that the father 
of these children is one of the happiest of men, 
and his home is his earthly Paradise; and I 
have often thought that if in every household 
the faithful father could be honored by his 
boys and girls as is this father, the men of our 
land would feel a new joy in their hard, every- 
day task of supporting their families, as well 
as the best incentive for future living in the 
home. CHAPTER IV 
IS FATHER TO BLAME? 
Many a famous man has been 
heard to say, "I owe it all to my 
mother." President Harding constantly kept 
his mother's face before him. A picture of 
her hung on the wall of his bedroom and an- 
other occupied a conspicuous place on his desk 
in his executive offices. Good mothers have 
served as an inspiration from time immemo- 
rial, and are the stronghold upon which a na- 
tion builds. 
In the preceding chapter, evidence is sub- 
mitted that mother's influence is not what it 
used to be, generally speaking, and that just 
as she is capable of making her children, she 
is capable also of breaking them. In short, 
entire responsibility was placed upon her for 
the present laxity of standards among young 
people. If mother is to carry the whole bur- 
den of the training of the children, then she 
is entitled to all the praise when they turn out 
well, and to all the blame when they do not. 
Good 
Mothers 
90 Is Father to Blame? 
91 
Father, in 
the Equation 
But is this true? How about the 
other parent in the concern- 
father. Why doesn't he come in for a little 
praise or blame? Surely his responsibility 
does not end with the feeding and clothing of 
his family and attention to their material 
needs. In the defects of the body politic so 
deeply felt today and ascribed to relaxation 
of discipline in the home, what part does 
father play? Is mother the only parent who 
grins and endures the growing tendency of 
the young people toward freedom of speech 
and independence of action? What is father's 
attitude? Is it that of giving the young people 
as much rope as they like, or does he blame 
the entire matter on mother? What does he 
have to say about mother's interest outside the 
home and its influence on the children? Are 
men in general thinking along these lines? 
A prominent judge of the New 
York Court of General Sessions, 
makes the following statement, showing the 
opinion of a judicial mind on this subject: 
"The derogation of parental authority 
which is general and increasing," he says, "is 
a cancer on the body politic. I see the re- 
sults of the wrong way of bringing up chil- 
Judicial 
Opinions 92 
The Home 
dren, every day. Youths under twenty-one 
are brought before me, who feel toward the 
law like hardened criminals. They began by 
doing what they liked at home, and defying 
their parents. At fourteen, they tell their 
fathers that they are not going to school any 
more, and they do not go. 
"With some differences, the same essential 
things could be said of the girl. She, too, needs 
discipline and does not get it, at home or at 
school. The weakly, indulgent parent buys 
her the kind of clothes she demands in order 
to look like other girls, and the weakly, in- 
dulgent parent can not keep her from bad 
company if he would. It is because the girl, 
no less than the boy, started early in life to 
give orders to her parents. 
"I do not think that people generally realize 
this flowing tide of youthful depravity, and 
those who do, are despondent and even hope- 
less for means to stem it. But I believe that 
the means is at hand in the home. There, old- 
fashioned ideas of mutual parental authority 
should be insisted upon; and where it is re- 
sisted, I see no better way to enforce it than 
by judicious corporal punishment." 
A juvenile judge in New York City tells of 
the case of a ten-year old boy who was ar- Is Father to Blame? 
93 
rested on the charge of stealing a shotgun. 
The father of the boy was sent for and given 
a private hearing. He was a man of education 
and refinement, highly respected in the com- 
munity. Naturally, he was appalled at what 
his son had done. "What made him do it? 
What made him do it?" he kept repeating. 
"I can not understand." 
"Let me see if I can help you get at the 
bottom of the trouble," said the judge. "Tell 
me something about the boy's home life. How 
has he been brought up?" 
"Very differently from the way I was," ad- 
mitted the father. "I was kept under such 
strict restraint.and discipline as a child, that 
I made up my mind if I ever had a son of 
my own, he should have everything I had not. 
My son has been encouraged by me to be in- 
dependent, and I have not only given him his 
own way, but almost everything he wanted." 
"I see," observed the judge. "Naturally 
your son thought there was nothing he could 
not have. Maybe later on, as his demands 
increased, he would have robbed a bank. If 
you do not teach a child self-control and self- 
denial, and consideration for the rights of 
others, what does he know about such things 
when he grows up? 94 
The Home 
"Shocked to a realization of what he owed 
his own son, the man asked for another chance 
-not for his boy, but for himself. He got it, 
and they both made good. 
"Yes, fathers are to blame. They 
are so busy chasing the dollar, that 
they are strangers to their own children. As a 
rule, when a boy goes wrong, the father is the 
real culprit. So, when I have a boy case, I 
always call for the father at once." 
In reality, many fathers are themselves 
problems in their own homes, because of easy- 
going habits they have formed in the training 
of their children. It would be well for fathers 
to take an inventory occasionally, and to con- 
sider the part they are having in moulding 
the character of their sons and daughters. 
The more I ponder over the many things 
that may contribute to making home either 
heaven or hell on earth, the more I am in- 
clined to think that most of father's problems 
in the home can be worked out and his happi- 
ness secured, if he and mother have a mutual 
agreement to carry the load of responsibility 
and privilege together; and, of course, God 
must be there, and religion must be in the 
foundation. But fathers must give more at- 
Father and 
the Dollar Is Father to Blame? 
95 
tention to the life and plans of their chil- 
dren. We are appalled as we think of their 
neglect. They have devoted to business and 
to clubs of various kinds, ten times as much 
time and thought as they have devoted to their 
wives and children. It is surprisingly easy 
for them to turn over to the wife all that part 
of the home that belongs to the children. 
Fathers have an obligation that must be as- 
sumed. They must share with the wife and 
mother, the responsibility of making the home. 
They must come to the place where they want 
to create a real home as much as they want to 
create a real business; for a nation without 
homes is a nation without a future. 
Parental neglect is the main cause of de- 
linquency, just as it is of the general falling 
off in standards among the young people to- 
day. 
"Children come to us plastic clay, 
to mould as we will. In our hands 
rests the shaping and forming of their char- 
acter, which must be done before the clay 
hardens. If we do not instill in them the 
right ideals in their early impressionable 
years, it will be useless later on to attempt it." 
Lax fathers make lax children. If we do 
Like Plastic 
Clay 96 
The Home 
not bring the child up with proper respect for 
parents and law and order, or for constituted 
authority,' what can we expect? Parental 
weakness, over-indulgence, and relaxation of 
discipline in the home, can not be too strongly 
condemned. Parental neglect is a sin against 
the child. Men and women assume the re- 
sponsibility of bringing boys and girls into 
the world, then oftentimes just let them grow, 
withholding from them the love and wise di- 
rection they should have to become acquainted 
with this world and to learn how to live in it. 
Distinction should be drawn be- 
tween morals and manners. So- 
ciety adopts certain standards of manners, and 
judges character thereby. Standards of con- 
duct are the most unstable of all human stand- 
ards. They vary not only with the times, but 
according to all sorts of extraneous influences. 
World events change them, and your local in- 
fluences modify them. They are subject to 
temperature and humidity. 
From earliest times, deviations from ac- 
cepted standards have been considered as 
proof of depravity. It is unfortunate that such 
passing fashions as extremes in women's dress, 
and the increased demand on the part of the 
Morals and 
Manners Is Father to Blame? 
97 
young, for pleasure, should be taken as in- 
dications of a lowering morality; for while 
in the main, dress, demeanor and conduct are 
evidences of character, they are by no means 
determinative of character. 
In my judgment, there is a greater sum of 
moral worth, comfort and happiness than ever 
before. Progress is slow-all too slow indeed; 
but it is progress. Judged by comparison, we 
shall find the present better than the past. We 
must remember that progress is not constant or 
uniform. There are periods when the onward 
march is almost a quick step; and there are 
times when there is a halt-sometimes even a 
retreat. But as a whole, the race moves for- 
ward and progress is clearly discernible. 
The influences that make for the 
moulding of character and prog- 
ress are many; but clearly, the home influence 
is the most important. Family life, with mu- 
tual responsibility and service, makes the 
home the principal influence for character 
building and for all those things which count 
for a clean and happy life. Not only are chil- 
dren moulded in their earliest years as to char- 
acter and trend of thought; but until they go 
out to make homes for themselves, the home 
Moulding 
Character 98 
The Home 
influence supplements every stage of their de- 
velopment. 
It would be well for fathers to realize that 
it is not indiscriminate depreciation and criti- 
cism which encourage their children. It is 
harmful, and not helpful, to draw derogatory 
conclusions from evidences not absolutely con- 
clusive, when character is to be judged. A 
real aid in correcting bad habits or bad taste, 
is to educate, not condemn and abuse. A beau- 
tiful character is not made by strictures and 
fault-finding. It is unfortunately true that 
many a young life has been ruined by want of 
the sympathy and friendly aid that could just 
as easily have been given as withheld. A 
greater spirit of kindliness and helpfulness 
will be sure to bring better standards and a 
higher appreciation of that which is really 
beautiful and true in life and conduct. 
No heritage which a son can pos- 
sess, is worthy to be compared for 
a moment with the blessed consciousness of 
having done all that he could to make father 
and mother happy during their lifetime. An 
impressive little story was recently told by a 
man whose form is now bent and whose hair is 
white with the years. 
A Priceless 
Heritage Is Father to Blame? 
99 
When he was a boy of twelve, he was return- 
ing one evening from the hay field, where he 
had been at work since daybreak, when his 
father met him with the request that he go to 
town to do an errand for him. Anyone who 
has lived on a farm and knows what a day's 
work in haying time means, will understand 
how the boy felt. 
"I was tired, dusty and hungry. It was two 
miles to town. I wanted to get my supper and 
to dress for the singing class. My first im- 
pulse was to refuse, and do it harshly, for I 
was angry that he should ask me, after my long 
day's work. If I did refuse, he would go, 
himself. He was a gentle, patient old man. 
But something stopped me-one of God's good 
angels, I think. 
" 'Of course, father, I will go,' I said heart- 
ily, giving my scythe to one of the men. He 
gave me the package. 'Thank you, Jim,' he 
said; 'I was going, myself, but somehow I do 
not feel very strong today.' 
"He walked with me to the road that turned 
to the town, and as he left me, he put his hand 
on my arm and said again, 'Thank you, my 
son; you have always been a god boy to me, 
Jim.' 100 
The Home 
"I hurried into town and back again. When 
I came near the house, I saw that something 
unusual had happened. All of the farm 
hands were gathered about the door, instead of 
being at the milking or other chores. As I 
came near, one of the men turned to me, with 
tears rolling down his face. 'Your father,' 
he said, 'is dead. He fell just as he reached 
the house. The last words he spoke were to 
you.' 
"I am an old man now, but I have thanked 
God over and over again, in all the years that 
have passed since that hour, for those last 
words of my father-'You have always been 
a good boy to me, Jim.' " 
A general summing of influences 
would seem to conclusively show 
that what is most needed is a back-to-the-home 
movement; that the back-sliding in the chil- 
dren is the result of the back-sliding in the 
home; that the young people of today, con- 
cerning whom there has been great gnashing 
of teeth, are what they are, because of lazy 
mothers or indulgent mothers or mothers who 
are too occupied with outside matters. Or to 
careless, indifferent fathers-or fathers who 
are so occupied in money-making that they 
"Back to 
the Home" Is Father to Blame? 
101 
never know or care what is going on at home. 
Too busy making a living, to make a life! 
Too many fathers assume that rearing a fam- 
ily is mother's job. 
Mother's job appears to have become too 
heavy for her, lately; she has taken on some 
of father's duties, like electing a president or 
governor, or serving on the school board, or 
on the jury-it looks like father ought to give 
her a little help with her home work. Turn 
about is fair play; and, fathers, that is all the 
mothers are asking for and what children have 
a right to demand. Not charity beginning at 
home, but a chance. CHAPTER V 
CAN THEY FORGIVE US? 
In the Day 
to Come- 
What? 
I sometimes think they can not- 
that after long centuries have 
passed, the youth of a new day, studying from 
pages of history the record made by our gen- 
eration, will find it hard to be tolerant; will 
find it difficult to pardon our shortsightedness, 
our stupidity, our colossal greed. 
I am sure that if the idealists, dreamers and 
poets of China succeed in making her a new 
nation, the youth of that far, future day, will 
listen with wide-eyed astonishment as they 
hear the story of a supposedly intelligent peo- 
ple tolerating the opium evil; the unspeakable 
dirt and disease; the cruelty to little children, 
whose tiny toil-stained hands must help to 
make a little more money for the more for- 
tunate ones. 
I am certain that if ever the idealists of 
Japan succeed in freeing their people from 
the absorbing dream of power through force, 
that the youth of that day in the far future, 
will listen with astonishment to the story of 
102 Can They Forgive Us? 
103 
a supposedly intelligent and highly ambitious 
people indulging in the barbarous persecu- 
tions of Korea; in the continuation of the 
Geisha girl with all the terrible penalty that 
her presence in society inflicts. 
I suspect that the Indian youth of that day- 
to-be, will find it very hard to believe the sto- 
ries of caste and outcast, and will turn in dis- 
gust from records of sickening scenes enacted 
under the name of worship; will listen with 
wonder to the painful tale of child-marriage 
with all its consequent ills. 
And the youth of Armenia, in that day-to- 
come, when the world will have gained its 
soul-what will it say as it sees the entire 
Anglo-Saxon world standing by, offering only 
now and then a mild protest, while nameless 
crimes so inhuman that they can scarcely be 
credited, are inflicted upon the Christian mi- 
norities in the Near East. 
I wonder what the youth of Russia, when 
the centuries have passed, will say of the starv- 
ing millions of little ones; of the agony so ter- 
rible that it turns a peaceful high-minded 
people into beasts; of the countless bodies, 
dead and dying, lining the weary miles of 
every road, lying in heaps beside the deserted 
railroads, covering field and hill and valley. 104 
The Home 
What will the youth of Central Europe say 
to statesmen and merchant, makers of law and 
makers of gold, as they study earnestly the 
true story of the lake of fire into which they 
plunged the world? 
What will be the verdict of the youth of the 
long tomorrow, looking back at the world of 
our day? Can they forgive? 
What will be the judgment in that 
day, two hundred, three hundred 
years beyond, when the youth of the new 
America, looks back at us? How puzzled 
will they be, as they read our thrilling words 
of Democracy; our devotion to law and order; 
our love for our Constitution; our admiration 
of our forefathers; our willingness to die for 
the justice and liberty for which our flag 
stands. What will they say when they note 
the honest record of the difference between 
our deeds and our words? When they see a 
Democracy threatened at the very heart by 
the greed of capital and the selfish blindness 
of labor; when they see law and order tram- 
pled under the feet of men chosen by the peo- 
ple and paid by the people to uphold it; when 
they see the law written upon the Constitu- 
Can They 
Forgive? Can They Forgive Us? 
105 
tion, defied by the very men who make up the 
governing bodies of city or state? 
When they compare our admiration for the 
Pilgrims with the extravagance of our scale of 
living; our words of deep respect for their 
spirit of devotion to God with our absence 
from the place of worship, what will they say? 
When they read our Pledge to the Flag, with 
its promise of liberty and justice for all, what 
will they think of the lynching horrors; of the 
tiny children toiling in factories that great, 
strong men may have leisure and opportunity 
for the joys of life? Can they ever forgive us? 
But it is not alone of the youth of that far- 
away day for which idealists dare to hope, 
when the world shall have calmed its reeling 
senses, steadied itself, and like a thinking, sane 
and human thing planned its life on the basis 
of "Do unto others as you would have others 
do unto you," that I ask, "Can they forgive 
us?" I ask it of the youth of our day-of 
those girls with bobbed hair, rouged cheeks 
and brilliant lips-of the boys with blase, 
sensuous faces; those upon whom the majority 
of adults look with scorn; those about whose 
recklessness newspapers love to write; those 
"flappers" and "flippers," termed in sarcastic 106 
The Home 
tones "The modern youth." Can they forgive 
us? I wonder if they can. 
In order to see ourselves just as we are, and 
discover some reasons why we need forgive- 
ness, we may examine ourselves within the 
limitations of a city. 
The modern youth is a part of the 
city. It is a community where housing con- 
ditions are indescribable. Rents for the very 
poorest accommodations are exorbitant, with 
the resultant over-crowding which breed dirt 
and disease, as well as death to high moral 
standards. It is a community where "politics" 
play with school problems. The compulsory 
school attendance law is very hard to enforce, 
because there is not room to seat the children 
willing to go to school. New buildings for 
elementary school use are needed at once; they 
do not materialize. Foreign-speaking chil- 
dren of school age play in the streets. Private 
schools in which very little English is spoken 
take care of hundreds of young children who 
should be acquiring in English, such instruc- 
tion as will make them true American citizens. 
The amusements of the commu- 
nity are for the most part unsupervised. There 
are public dance halls about which vague 
The City 
Amusements Can They Forgive Us? 
107 
whisperings are heard, but the facts are more 
terrible than the whisperings. Poolrooms, 
bucket shops, amusement parks, all operate 
without fear of regulation or reproof; and 
disorderly houses with their terrible menace 
to the community health, are a very profitable 
source of income for a privileged group o* 
citizens. The Eighteenth Amendment to the 
Constitution is the one great community joke. 
Men square their chests and boast of their 
escapades and their defiance of it. These men 
are not the poor, the ignorant, the workers, 
who are supposed to form the great opposi- 
tion to the law, but those men who are ac- 
credited with being the leaders in city life! 
This is the civic life; this is the 
community, presented to youth; 
and when they come to understand what we 
have done for them, the standards with which 
we have surrounded them, can they ever for- 
give us? Let me tell you the story of the 
nineteen-year old son of a prosperous man, 
whose home boasts of well-filled wine cellars; 
a man whose wife has found her dinner par- 
ties very popular of late, the last one followed 
by a dance at a country club to which the 
nineteen-year old son did not want to go, but 
yielded to his mother's wishes. 
Playing 
With Fire 108 
The Home 
He drank a good deal; so did one of the 
very young girls. There was a clear moon, 
and the girl proposed a drive. With two com- 
panions, in her father's car, they quietly left 
the club. On the way back, the nineteen-year 
old boy, driving at high speed and very un- 
steadily, killed a man, and so injured his wife 
that she died two days later. Three children 
of this young business man and his wife, are 
left orphans. 
The nineteen-year old lad is awaiting trial. 
He is a sensitive, kindly boy. He wants to 
die. His meeting with his mother, after the 
indictment, was a terrible thing to wtiness. 
"Don't talk to me," he said; "I don't want to 
hear anything from you. You kept the thing 
constantly before me. You told me to drink 
'like a gentleman.' I could not. You made 
me go to the dance that night, and you and 
dad provided the stuff. Think of what I have 
done-I have killed them! You are just as 
bad as I am. Life is a rotten thing-I wish I 
could die!" And pale as death itself, he col- 
lapsed. 
Poor boy! Can anyone ask him to forgive? 
Can any of us expect pardon for the sort of 
community and social expression with which 
we have surrounded scores of young people Can They Forgive Us? 
109 
like him? The very unfairness of it all, makes 
one sick with shame. 
Can the youth of our day, when they be- 
come conscious of the facts, ever forgive us? 
Can these boys and girls in their 'teens, to 
whom we have given no clear vision of God, 
no stirring call to service, no great command- 
ments, no definite standards of action, ever for- 
give us for the evil which our weakness, our 
selfish blindness and our prejudice have 
wrought in the community? 
There are things which no two 
parents alone can do for their chil- 
dren, in any community, strive as they may. 
They can not establish community standards. 
It takes a combination of parents to do that. 
They can not establish standards of dress for 
the high school pupils-a combination of par- 
ents can do it. They can not establish stand- 
ards for the recreation and amusement of the 
school boy and girl, but a combination of par- 
ents can do it, and they should. No parent 
is doing a kindness to his child when he per- 
mits him to do what all the others do. Yet no 
parent wishes to make a martyr of his child- 
bid him stand on the sidelines and watch others 
enjoy life. It is because this is true, that he 
The Com* 
munity 110 
The Home 
yields to the child's pleadings to do what they 
all do. 
And the child is not responsible to 
any great degree for what they all 
do. The parents of the community are re- 
sponsible. There are signs on the horizon 
that they are beginning to realize this. Par- 
ents can decide how many social events, and 
their type, shall be permitted in high school. 
Parents, acting together, can decide the matter 
of secret societies; acting together, they can 
clean up the amusements of any community. 
There is a mighty power in the words, "This 
thing can not go on," when spoken by eighty 
per cent of the parents of a given school or 
community. 
In every combination for the welfare of 
youth, parents will find standing with them 
the majority of school executives of the land; 
great bodies of teachers and an earnest com- 
pany of lovers of the young, who believe that 
"Youth is both a victim and a product." 
Do we belong to the company of men and 
women who make it easy for youth to become 
the victims of a community; which, having 
neither vision nor sympathy, to construct 
ideals, contents itself with criticism of the 
youth which shocks and disgusts it? 
Is the Child 
Responsible? Can They Forgive Us? 
111 
Can youth, when it understands what the 
attitude on the part of people whose own per- 
sonal ideals are high and characters strong, 
but who have no community conscience, have 
done today-forgive? 
I apologize to youth-to the youth 
of the world, of the days long centuries ahead, 
to the youth of America in the present day I 
I apologize in the name of my generation, 
for the inheritance which we have given to it; 
for the sorry spectacle of a world lately 
emerged from a sea of blood, not cured even 
by its unthinkable sorrows, of its hate, greed 
and prejudice; a world which having lost 
God, has lost confidence; and being unwilling 
to pay the price, has not yet recovered either. 
A world that, wandering in the wilderness, is 
unable to mark out a straight path for the feet 
of its youth. 
But my apology is also a chal- 
lenge. I dare to hope that youth can for- 
give us; that it will forgive us; that it will 
demand that we, together with it, shall prom- 
ise the little children of all the earth, now in 
their cradles, that it will be a better world in 
the day when they shall become the new gen- 
eration. 
An Apology 
A Challenge Wm. A. McKeever, Ph. D., LL. D. 
Author, Lecturer, Community Builder CHAPTER VI 
THE OLDEST HUMAN INSTITUTION * 
The disposition to make a home and rear a 
family of young is instinctive in nearly all 
the higher forms of animal life. The birds 
build their nests, hatch the brood and tenderly 
care for it. The foxes and wolves live in fam- 
ily groups in well-selected dens. The parent 
monkeys show almost human intelligence in 
the care of their babies, the mother often sleep- 
ing with the little ones in her arms. And, 
from the dawn of historv-we know not how 
much longer-mankind has everywhere shown 
a predisposition to have a home and to rear a 
family. 
Tt will help us to understand our 
task as parents-and it should also 
inspire us toward greater effort-to realize 
that the idea of home and parenthood comes 
from within rather than from without. It is 
a deep-seated, heaven-born urge to undertake 
the task which aims at a noble service in be- 
half of the progress of man on the earth. 
A Heaven 
Born 
Instinct 
* The following chanters on "The Home" are by Dr. W. A. 
McKeever, Ph. M., LL. D.. sociologist and nsvchologist of world- 
wide fame: also widelv known, as author of numerous text-books 
on child study and training, and community building. 
113 114 
The Home 
In our conception of the home and its mean- 
ing, one of our first duties is to get away from 
the idea of littleness and narrowness. To re- 
gard home life as a mere convenience and 
home-making as a matter of mere personal ad- 
vantage is to take a selfish view of one of the 
greatest tendencies ever known to human kind. 
To look upon the home as an affair of divine 
origin and an institution of human progress 
and development, is to understand something 
of its fundamental meaning. 
Of one thing we may be assured: Although 
the occurrence of war, famine, pestilence and 
the like, may partly obliterate family groups 
and scatter the fragments thereof to the four 
winds; although an occasional period of ex- 
treme dissoluteness may cause parents to de- 
sert their own offspring and children to curse 
their own fathers and mothers-even after any 
or all of these calamities, the divine calling of 
home and family will persist in human so- 
ciety. 
That the home is an indestructible 
institution, that it is a mighty in- 
strument of nature seemingly ordained for the 
development of society, that it is the source 
and creator of many of the most stirring ideals 
The 
Home In= 
destructible MAKING THE HOME ATTRACTIVE 
115 116 
The Home 
known to the human understanding, that man- 
kind must continue to foster it as well as to 
make use of it-these ideas should inspire 
every ordinary married pair to regard home- 
making as a sacred duty. 
Mating by and through some kind of mar- 
riage bond or contract is older than historical 
record. Even among the most benighted or 
savage tribes ever discovered on the earth some 
kind of ceremony-sale or barter, capture or 
solemn pledge-has marked the beginning of 
the new family unit. 
Therefore, rather than decry the idea of 
home life, rather than regard marriage as a 
mere whim or matter of convenience, we 
should look upon those who marry and rear 
families as behaving in a manner that is nor- 
mal and replete with human significance; and 
those who fail so to do as failing to participate 
in one of the great racial experiences. 
The last statement above is not meant to 
imply that those who do not enter the marriage 
relation are necessarily unhappy or failures 
in general. Far from that. It does mean that 
in order to be happy and reasonably satisfied 
with their lot they must find a very definite 
and carefully arranged substitute for mar- 
riage and parenthood. The Oldest Human Institution 
117 
In many ancient and primitive 
tribes of mankind, the family was 
a member of the larger unit, the clan. But 
the clan was frequently a group constituted of 
three or four generations of more or less inter- 
related individuals who had grown up around 
some aggressive head or leader. There was 
the patriarchal chief, his sons and daughters 
and their families, his nephews and nieces and 
their families, and so on. 
But the significant point for us here is the 
fact that even in the tribal and clan life there 
was nearly always a custom of recognition of 
the family unit. The father took some interest 
in the children while the mother clung to them 
in a way characteristic of her nature and of- 
fice, during all recorded time. 
The brief period of Spartan ascendency in 
Greece, during which the child was made the 
exclusive charge and property of the state, 
can be put down as having been a mere experi- 
ment or expedient of the military caste driven 
to desperate ends for maintaining a national 
existence. And the final failure of the plan, 
together with the obliteration of the Spartan 
element attempting it-that is sufficient evi- 
dence of the futility of a so-called civilization 
which would live without home and mother. 
The Family 
and the 
Clan 118 
The Home 
The Home 
Against War 
Mankind will doubtless wrestle 
long and hard with the problem of 
warfare. We must understand that such mat- 
ters are not settled through any sudden wave 
of emotional decision, or peace treaty or leg- 
islation. Rather are such momentous ques- 
tions decided by slow and tedious procedures, 
and especially by and through the careful re- 
organization of the mind and ideals of the 
masses. 
However, as we proceed slowly to make 
warfare a mere matter of past human folly, 
the home will continue as a powerful factor 
in the regeneration. Those of us who came 
close enough to the great war of 1914-18 were 
made aware of the horrible crush and agony 
which it entailed upon the family life. The 
death of fathers, the destruction of homes, the 
hunger and wretchedness of mothers and chil- 
dren-these are the facts which, rightly ap- 
preciated by the masses, will contribute power- 
fully toward universal and permanent peace 
on the earth. 
It is the idea that the home has a duty to 
perform, incidently to itself, but fundamen- 
tally to society; it is the thought that home 
and family life entails upon one many happy 
responsibilities rather than a number of sei- The Oldest Human Institution 
119 
fish opportunities; it is the insistence that the 
young man or young woman contemplating 
marriage is necessarily facing duty and sacri- 
fice and patriotism. These suggestions may 
help us all to appreciate more fully the sig- 
nificance of the home as a unit of human so- 
ciety. 
While the instinct for marriage, 
home and children has perhaps 
never faltered or varied in its general tend- 
ency, the expression of the instinct has varied 
in accordance with the age and the status of 
civilization. So there has been a slow evolu- 
tion of the ideals and the methods whereby 
the family might reach its maximum of well- 
being and happiness. 
It might be said that the status of home 
life has slowly risen with the increasing en- 
lightenment and freedom of women and 
mothers. The primitive custom exacted lit- 
tle more of the father than to hunt, to fish and 
otherwise to obtain the raw materials of sub- 
sistence. The mother was his slave and the 
family drudge. Her care of the children was 
necessarily little more than looking after their 
meager physical wants. But the mother love 
was ever present as the instinctive force, im- 
The Slow 
Evolution 120 
The Home 
pelling this duty, while the children them- 
selves were seasoned from birth to rough us- 
age, and were subjected to the law of sur- 
vival of the fit. 
Even now, we may observe the comparative 
stoicism of the members of the families of 
certain unenlightened racial types. Here the 
little ones tend to take their rough treatment 
as a matter of habit, and they seldom cry or 
complain of their lot. From this under-en- 
lightened family life, it is contended by some 
that we have swung to another extreme of 
over-enlightenment. Perhaps the half-naked 
Mexican babe sitting on a trash heap and 
sucking his stick of raw sorghum is less to be 
pitied than the pampered child of super- 
wealth, with his extravagant supply of nurses, 
health safeguards and playthings. 
The marked but gradual change 
in public opinion as to the duties 
and responsibilities of parents owes much to 
the advent of general public education. The 
first instruction of the common laymen was 
for the purpose of preparing converts to enter 
the church, but this course was soon extended 
so as to prepare one for the profession of liv- 
ing. Even during the early centuries of our 
Public 
Education 
Effective The Oldest Human Institution 
121 
own great country, common illiteracy was the 
rule. The first public school for girls dates 
back little more than a century. 
After the masses began to study the rudi- 
ments of learning, the duties of parents and 
the necessities of child life came up for con- 
stant discussion and redefinition. Industry, 
obedience and moral self-reliance began to be 
inculcated by the father as supplementary to 
the sacrifices of the mother. And so it slowly 
came about that the father was a teacher of 
his young as well as a provider for his house- 
hold. More and more he tended to share with 
the mother the heavy responsibilities of bring- 
ing up the children in the way they should go. 
In considering the history of the 
home we find that poverty has 
been scarcely more of a hindrance to child- 
rearing than extreme wealth. Out of condi- 
tions of hunger, want and deprivation of fam- 
ily life have come some of the noblest char- 
acters of modern civilization. Indeed, a cer- 
tain degree of these negative qualities seem to 
have been a valuable asset in the making of 
character. 
Up to recent times the mass of the popu- 
lation of the United States have lived in com- 
Poverty 
Not a Bar 122 
The Home 
parative poverty, and out of their need have 
evolved a generation of intellectual and eco- 
nomic giants. But now matters are different, 
common wage employes are earning ample in- 
comes and their families are being supplied 
more generously than ever before with both 
the necessities and the luxuries. It yet re- 
mains to be seen whether or not ease and com- 
fort for the young in the common home shall 
prove a factor of greater enlightenment and 
strength of individual character, or less. 
The recent wasteful post-war period of ex- 
cessive incomes and abundance for all quickly 
turned us into a society of spendthrifts and 
sensualists. Children and youths everywhere 
tended to show a contempt for the old stand- 
ards of honesty, industry and moral virtue. 
The more money they had to spend, the faster 
the pace and the less the disposition to study 
and diligence of any character. It may be 
that at some time in the future we shall learn 
how to give all-round nurture to a generation 
of the young in the midst of 11 flowery beds of 
ease," but as yet we have made scarcely a start 
toward that goal. CHAPTER VII 
A PLAN OF CO-OPERATION 
The duties and responsibilities to be as- 
signed to each member of the growing fam- 
ily constitute a working program which might 
easily challenge the attention of the trained 
head of a school system. It is not a task to 
adjust these matters fairly for today, but the 
demands of growth and change in the lives of 
the children render the affair increasingly 
complex. 
The best method of adjustment of 
the inter-relations of the members 
of the common family is that of a scheme of 
co-operation for all concerned. Father, 
mother and every child must be recognized as 
contributors to the well-being of the house- 
hold, and each and all must themselves come 
to a conscious view of the matter. One drone, 
a single member who leans all the while and 
lifts none, may be for many years the disturber 
of the peace of all. 
Children may be taught their proper rela- 
tions to the family precisely as they are taught 
Co-operation 
the Key 
123 124 
The Home 
their true relations to the school. It is partly 
a matter of explaining but more especially a 
matter of getting things done. Under proper 
regulations each one will have his assigned du- 
ties and the smaller members will be re- 
quested to perform their tiny parts without 
the necessity of any detailed explanation of 
the why or the wherefore. 
The first thing to be questioned is the rea- 
sonableness of the assignment and the next is 
to get the thing done promptly by the one who 
should do it. Explanations may follow after 
the habit of performance has been acquired 
and after the performer is old enough to un- 
derstand. 
If we follow the true order of 
events in the well-managed house- 
hold, we shall see that the house is for the 
children and not the children for the house. 
The floor of the living room is not funda- 
mentally something for the children to keep 
clean; it is something to contribute to their 
happiness and growth. The dominate issue 
in assigning home duties to children is not to 
get the work itself done but to get the char- 
acter of the child formed. To reverse this 
natural order of relations is to rouse the ill- 
No Reversal 
of the Order A Plan of Co-operation 
125 
will of the young performer toward common 
duties which should be a pleasure. 
Let the parents attempt at all times to pre- 
serve their equipoise as to the performance of 
the never-finished routine of "chores" 'and 
irregular duties about the place. Let them 
try to acquire the habit of thinking of these 
tasks as working materials in the character- 
making of their children. Such an attitude 
will tend to change what is too often regarded 
as drudgery into a matter of interest. 
In the making of a schedule of du- 
ties for the various members of 
the family, it is advisable for the father to 
begin with himself. The points on such a 
score sheet might be somewhat as the follow- 
ing: 
1. The amount of time that should really 
be devoted to the business of earning the daily 
bread and for the economic support of the 
household. 
2. The number of nights per week that he 
should be at home and the number which 
should yield to the needs of the club or so- 
ciety. 
3. The kind and amount of work which he 
should do about the place in order to relieve 
the mother and to encourage the children. 
A Score 
Card for 
Father 126 
The Home 
4. The attention he may give to the children 
in relation to their games and play and their 
home playthings. 
5. His plan and method for teaching the 
children home industry and the beginnings of 
thrift-their own earning and saving, and 
their thought as to the family budget. 
6. The set of moral habits which he maj 
consider fitting and proper for his own con- 
duct and as examples to place before the chil- 
dren. 
7. The arrangements for his home study, 
home reading or other means of keeping his 
own personality fresh and young. 
8. His method of maintaining a family con- 
tact with the church, with religion and with 
the religious education of all. 
9. His method of discipline of the children, 
including the mode of punishment for their 
wanton errors. 
10. The outings, vacations, picnics and 
amusement features which he would have 
within the family program. 
The foregoing ten points are, of 
course, to be considered as merely 
suggestions. No two cases are alike. Like- 
wise we might jot down a suggestive schedule 
A Score 
Card for 
Mother A Plan of Co-operation 
127 
for the mother something like the following: 
1. The method of getting the household 
work done with the minimum of effort and 
worry. 
2. The plan for requiring each child to 
share in the work and the duties of the place 
as his age may require. 
3. Her program of club duties, and for con- 
tact with the social interests of women. 
4. Her purpose as to home study, reading 
and other means of continuous self-improve- 
ment. 
5. The manner in which she participates in 
the play and the amusement affairs of her 
children. 
6. Her degree of participation in the com- 
munity efforts of mothering children and safe- 
guarding their morals. 
7. Her degree of interest in the franchise, 
in civic affairs, and in other matters pertain- 
ing to the progress of society. 
8. Her idea as to how to keep her mind 
poised and to preserve serenity in the midst 
of care and trouble. 
9. Her ability to co-operate with her hus- 
band in the making of the family budget and 
in the reasonable expenditure of the family in- 
come. 128 
The Home 
10. The attitude which she assumes toward 
the public school, the teachers thereof and 
the general work of public education. 
Finally, not a little of a suggestive 
nature may be derived from an at- 
tempt to outline a score card for the daily 
home behavior of the child. There might be 
included here only those more general duties 
such as are common to both boys and girls. 
For example: 
1. The proper time to arise at morning and 
to retire at night for each given age. 
2. The amount of time properly to require 
of each age in the performance of home du- 
ties. 
3. The best manner in which a child may 
be acquiring habits of earning, or spending, 
of saving and of giving on a small scale. 
4. The right relation of the child to home 
play, the reasonable possession of playthings 
and how to obtain these. 
5. The number of times per week and the 
times and occasions when the child should go 
out for amusement or entertainment. 
6. The times and occasions for introducing 
the youth into social affairs of young lovers 
and prospective marriage mates. 
Tests for the 
Children A Plan of Co-operation 
129 
7. The relation of the expense for clothing 
and other personal belongings of the child to 
the family income and budget. 
8. The habits and the disposition of the 
child in the matter of co-operation in the 
household duties. 
9. The moral integrity, the sense of right 
and wrong in common conduct and the habits 
conducive to honesty of purpose. 
10. The habits of church-going, attendance 
at Sunday-school participation in the religious 
bodies of the young and the like. 
Until they have obtained at least 
a superficial knowledge of all the 
departments of the helping and choring about 
the home, the young members should change 
from task to task. They can never know the 
details of home-keeping from observation and 
hearsay, but only from performance. 
Cooking, cleaning, sewing, mending, bed- 
room work and baby tending are suggestive 
of the variety of plain duties with which every 
girl should have some familiarity. *For her 
to learn to perform these tasks means far more 
than merely getting the work done. That is 
merely secondary. It means that she shall 
have a personal knowledge of how the great 
Rotation of 
Tasks 130 
The Home 
majority of housewives spend their days, and 
it means a guarantee of sympathy on her part 
for the common womanhood of the world. 
Likewise, the boys of the family should go 
the rounds of the simple household duties 
while they are small. Of course their tasks 
should include those best suited to their sex. 
However, it is now agreed that small boys 
should learn to perform all the plain duties 
of caring for the house and cleaning, includ- 
ing a brief turn at dish-washing. 
After the children of a given home 
have tested their capacity and in- 
terest in the performance of all the ordinary 
kinds of household work there will naturally 
be made a division of the duties in accordance 
with peculiar adaptability. One type of girl 
will be fondest of preparing the meals, an- 
other of mending and another of caring for 
the house. One type of boy will prefer to do 
the heavy drudgery and another to do the re- 
pairing and the making of simple devices. 
Another type will really prefer to be a "per- 
fect gentleman" and will probably require 
more thought and planning than all the others 
in order at least to seem to be requiring him 
to contribute his part. 
Division of 
Duties A Plan of Co-operation 
131 
There are gaps in the work of keeping every 
ordinary house. Families usually fall into 
rather one-sided routine, over-emphasizing 
some part of the work and slighting some other 
part. One house will be kept polished, clean 
and bright, it may be, but with skimp fare on 
the dining table. Another may be the con- 
verse. The thoughtful mother will try to even 
these extremes. 
In the assignment of duties and the division 
of labor among the members of the family the 
typical mother deserves consideration. She is 
inclined to take on more than her share and 
more than,is good for her health and strength. 
Someone must come to her defense. It is 
urged that the father quietly arrange with the 
children that they together shield the mother 
against the over-work and over-worry to 
which all natural mothers are predisposed. It 
is an excellent discipline for the children for 
them to become early conscious of this mat- 
ter and solicitous as to her welfare. 
It is well occasionally to take a 
kind of moral inventory of the in- 
dividual members of the family, to compare 
notes and reputations and to learn whether or 
not anyone is becoming a bit lax. Sometimes 
The Moral 
Inventory TRAINING FOR THE FUTURE 
132 A Plan of Co-operation 
133 
a rather wayward boy may be brought to his 
senses through discovery that the family life 
is a co-operative affair ever in respect to moral 
conduct, that the reputation of each member 
must rise and fall with the standing or reputa- 
tion of the others. 
If you fail in school, if you are a delinquent, 
if you become known as a cheap good-for- 
nothing, my boy, do you not realize that your 
parents and the other members of the family 
must share the disgrace with you? If you do 
well in school, if you acquire a good reputa- 
tion in the community, if you achieve some 
distinction in society, do you not also under- 
stand that we likewise will participate in the 
honor? Some such appeal as the foregoing 
will often suffice to effect a change in the mind 
and heart of an indifferent youth. 
It is a slow and tedious procedure 
to bring the younger members to 
a sense of loyalty to the status of the household 
econmically. Children are prone to make un- 
favorable comparisons of their father's in- 
come compared with that of higher salaried 
men. It is here that the mother should enter 
with a very definite purpose to inculcate sym- 
pathy and loyalty as regards the place and 
Money and 
Materials 134 
The Home 
position of the father in the world of business. 
It is not a difficult matter to explain in a 
reasonable way why the father's business ad- 
vantages in youth might have been compara- 
tively meager, why he is best at a wage-earn- 
ing position rather than a salaried one, and 
why he is an employed man rather than a man- 
ager or owner of some business. If the mother 
does her full duty here and imparts the les- 
son early, she will find little difficulty in win- 
ning and holding the respect of the children 
for their father. They will naturally desire, 
as a rule, to assist him and to participate in 
whatever modest income he may be able hon- 
estly to earn. 
In fact, there are many advantages for the 
children in the matter of comparative meager- 
ness of the family income. They are less in- 
clined to become mere leaners or consumers, 
and are more disposed to get out and hustle 
for themselves. It is an iron-clad rule that 
you can not give a child anything that will 
prove of permanent worth to him until he has 
acquired a capacity to earn and manage such 
effects on his own initiative. 
To distribute the family means and mate- 
rials equally is often made doubly difficult be- A Plan of Co-operation 
135 
cause of the selfishness of a certain young 
member. The disposition to give and take is 
never the same in the ordinary home group. 
Some will be disposed to grab things right and 
left and others will seem willing to sit back 
and let them grab. Here a positive and de- 
cisive arbiter is necessary. The selfish boy or 
girl must be held in check, for his own sake 
as well as for that of others. The unselfish 
child must be encouraged to take his share, 
for the same reason. 
Not only in matters of trial and 
suffering but also in matters of tri- 
umph, the spirit of co-operation among all the 
household group is called for. Sudden pros- 
perity has probably wrecked more homes than 
persistent poverty. The life which is gauged 
to a small income and modest means seems 
disposed to many kinds of eccentricities when- 
ever a free abundance happens to become its 
portion. Often there is a mad rush for the 
luxury and finery displayed by idle society- 
a move which is certain to poison the mind 
and the heart. 
The father who carefully provides life in- 
surance on a large scale, a supposed "ample 
allowance" for the widow and orphans after 
Trial and 
Triumph 136 
The Home 
he is gone, is doing a praiseworthy deed. But 
if he fails to provide also a sensible admin- 
istration of his estate, the whole affair may 
turn out to be worse than a failure. The sud- 
denly acquired lump sum as inheritance or 
insurance money is always a shining mark. 
Close affiliation of the members of 
a family can be overdone. We 
must not forget that the rearing of one family 
should finally mean the beginnings of another 
and independent home life for every child in 
the group. There are many instances wherein 
the child became so thoroughly attached to the 
parental home that he chose at length to re- 
main there rather than marry and help found 
a new one. This, of course, is a serious error. 
So, both integration and disintegration of 
the home must proceed, in a sense, together. 
The child will need many admonitions to look 
ahead and to think of that day when he must 
leave the old place forever. There is really 
no excuse for tears and sentimentalism as we 
plan their future with our children. For them 
to depart and to go their way is the normal 
course of events, demanded by the great race 
tendency itself. Rather than selfishly attempt 
to keep a grown-up son or daughter for the 
Can Be 
Overdone A Plan of Co-operation 
137 
sake of our own business or pleasure is to chal- 
lenge one of the most powerful laws of hu- 
man behavior. Some kind of extreme suffer- 
ing and disappointment is practically certain 
to fall to the lot of the son or daughter who is 
held back from marriage for the sake of an- 
other's convenience. 
The presence of one or more 
grandparents in the home is al- 
ways good for the growing children, but there 
are certain definite relationships to be estab- 
lished before peace and harmony will neces- 
sarily prevail. In the first place, grandpar- 
ents should not be required or permitted to 
exercise any authority over children-unless 
circumstances force such a responsibility upon 
them. These aged ones are more suited to be 
loved than obeyed. They are properly the 
objects of reverence and sentiment. For a 
grandchild to have to work for and obey one 
of these of the second generation ahead is to 
spoil one of the sweetest memories of what in 
time should normally be the "happy days of 
yore." 
Children can be taught to wait on their 
grandparents and otherwise to show them re- 
spect. They may also learn much from them 
Living with 
Grand= 
parents 138 
The Home 
about the past and its meaning. The odd man- 
ners and expressions of these revered members 
of the household should never be made an ob- 
ject of impatience or derision by any grand- 
child. Teach the little ones rather to regard 
such eccentric behavior as an interesting il- 
lustration of the practices of a by-gone age. CHAPTER VIII 
THE MANAGEMENT OF CHILDREN 
The easy management of the children about 
the household begins with simple acts of obe- 
dience in the carrying out of specific instruc- 
tions. The child mind is at first slow to grasp 
the exact meaning of even the simplest re- 
quests of duty and performance. Therefore, 
repeat each phrase, go over the instructions 
from the first, and see that each requested act 
is performed. Thus you may have the safe 
beginning of character development for your 
child. 
The authority of the parent and 
the obedience of the child are sup- 
plementary to each other. However, neither 
of the two need scarcely realize that such a 
relationship is being established. The child 
who is rightly taught to obey soon finds him- 
self carrying out what seems to him to be his 
own purposes. The orders given for him to 
execute are not in the form of stern commands, 
but rather simple descriptions of acts which 
Authority 
and 
Obedience 
139 140 
The Home 
he can first easily visualize and afterwards 
easily perform. 
So long as a child merely performs the du- 
ties requested of him he is not really learning. 
Such obedience is merely a response to stimuli. 
He must learn gradually to take over the 
management of his own conduct. By some 
arrangement his interest and his desire must 
be aroused through the orders given him. 
There is little meaning-especially during 
earliest years-to the old-fashioned statement 
that a child should obey every request made 
of him by his parents simply from sense of 
right and duty. It is far easier and more ef- 
fective to frame the demands upon his con- 
duct in terms of what may please or entice 
him. 
Right or wrong the old idea of 
stern parental authority and abject 
obedience on the part of the child has gone 
out of use. Parents are now either bringing 
their children to see the right through per- 
suasion, or else they are permitting them to 
go their way very much as they please. So- 
ciety has frowned upon the idea of corporal 
punishment of the child, both in the home 
and in the school. 
The Idea of 
Punishment Management of Children 
141 
Psychology has helped us to understand the 
true relations of obedience and authority 
within the family circle. Frequently a child 
will seem to disobey when as a matter of fact 
he merely fails to understand instructions. 
Again, the parent will attempt to control the 
child through vague and meaningless requests. 
We feel almost warranted in stating that chil- 
dren really enjoy the matter of carrying out 
the reasonable requests of their superiors. If 
the parent will give brief and clear instruc- 
tions, as stated above; if he will repeat the 
statements until the child understands their 
full meaning; if he will request the child to 
perform acts which are enticing and fitted to 
his age and understanding; then, he may ex- 
pect to succeed admirably in his effort to in- 
culcate filial obedience. 
Many sensible parents resort to indirect 
methods of punishment of the stubborn or dis- 
obedient child. That is, instead of inflicting 
physical pain of some kind, they attempt to 
inflict mental pain-by denying the child some 
coveted privilege; by taking away from him 
for the time being some highly prized play- 
thing; by withdrawing their affectionate re- 
gard temporarily, or pretending to be them- 
selves deeply grieved at his conduct. The 142 
The Home 
method must be determined by the tempera- 
ment of the child. The one which is engrossed 
in the possession of things will have to be met 
on the basis of his own interests and be com- 
pelled to suffer a denial of such treasures. The 
one who is self-conscious and sensitive to the 
smiles and frowns of those about him will 
suffer more deeply from mental anguish if 
some matter of affectionate attention or favor 
be temporarily withdrawn. 
Excepting in the case of identical 
twins, no two children of a given 
family are ever alike. The older they grow 
the more different they become. Each one 
calls for a special program of management. 
Whenever there are two or more young mem- 
bers in the same family one of them is likely 
to manifest a case of selfishness which requires 
special treatment. It is wrong, both to this 
child and to his brothers and sisters, to per- 
mit his aggressiveness to continue taking an 
over-share. 
Perhaps the best way in which to cause the 
selfish child to put a check upon himself is to 
request him to act frequently in the capacity 
of an unselfish servant of the family. For ex- 
ample, see to it occasionally that he serves at 
The Selfish 
Young 
Member Management of Children 
143 
the table, attending to the wants of all the 
others before he looks after his own. Have 
him attempt to restrain himself occasionally 
and show that he can stand back and let others 
take the first choice of any prized objects to 
be divided among the children. Arrange fre- 
quently that he shall do some menial work for 
his mother, or that he shall practice some kind 
of self-denial for the sake of his sister. Thus 
put the selfish child through many acts which 
have the outer appearance of unselfishness. 
Treat the matter as if it were a part of the 
natural, expected course of events. Even 
though your selfish boy may whine and com- 
plain under the reasonable requests here speci- 
fied, if you hold positively and affectionately 
to such a program he will in time come to his 
senses, and find not a little pleasure in the per- 
formance of altruism. 
Quite as frequently as the selfish 
child there will appear among the 
members of the ordinary family the sweet- 
spirited unselfish one. Here, again, is a case 
which calls for special treatment. The reti- 
cent child deserves a defender and promoter 
from the very beginning. He is certain to 
suffer from the abuses of the more aggressive 
The Reticent 
Boy or Girl 144 
The Home 
brother or sister. Under conditions of ill- 
management the reticent child is inclined to 
become a recluse and to miss many of the valu- 
able lessons that pertain to a free mingling 
with those of his age. Rather than endure the 
rough taunts and jests of his more aggressive 
companions he wTill probably slip away into a 
corner and out of sight, where he may enjoy 
his books or playthings undisturbed. 
Teach the reticent member how to defend 
his rights and how to obtain his share of things. 
In order to accomplish this purpose it will 
be necessary to proceed in a specific manner. 
He especially needs the practice of doing the 
right thing for himself until that begins to 
seem natural. So, there must be pointed out 
to the unselfish one what share he must .take 
of things, how he must speak and act under 
each changing condition, what he must say to 
the others by way of a defensive statement, and 
the like. In short, the general idea, which 
has been urged under the last two headings 
immediately above, is this: You owe it to your 
children and to society to transform their ec- 
centricities so that they will fit agreeably into 
the common crowd. The selfish child must 
be made unselfish through practice of the ideal 
of altruism; and, conversely, the reticent child Management of Children 
145 
must be made more aggressive through the 
practice of certain specified forms of selfish- 
ness. 
Children learn self-reliance in the 
same manner as required for learn- 
ing anything else, that is, by practice. By 
slow degrees the reins of authority must be 
let out to them. They must be encouraged to 
initiate their own actions, and to make their 
own decisions. This really means that the act 
chosen to be performed must contain an ele- 
ment of interest for the young performer. So 
long as your child is merely carrying out re- 
quests which have no meaning to him you 
may expect him to perform mechanically. 
However, by selecting tasks related to his 
own playthings, his own desired acquisitions 
or his own problems, you may slowly lead him 
to take over the management of himself. 
Force of character and self-reliance are thus 
developed out of one's own projects. Give the 
ordinary child or young person a real problem 
occasionally, assume the attitude of a seeker 
after advice, and thus really find out what is 
in his eager young mind. Again, it will prove 
very effective to give the boy or girl the po- 
sition of actual leader in the performance of 
Teaching 
Self- 
Dependence 146 
The Home 
some routine work. In case you are dealing 
with a boy, ask him how to rearrange the gar- 
age or the back lawn, how he would add to 
their attractiveness, and the like. Likewise, 
frequently ask your girl to give suggestions 
as to the improvement of the appearance of 
the house arrangements. Encourage her to 
originate new plans and devices for getting the 
routine work done. Ask her occasionally to 
give you a hint of how she would plan and 
furnish a house of her own. 
Inculcate in your child the habit 
of planning his work in advance. 
It is the foreminded person who finally be- 
comes master of his own destiny. To project 
the mind forward to definite situations and 
acts is to create conduct successfully before it 
is really materialized. The vision is in reality 
nothing other than a form of faith. With the 
child as well as with the adult, it is the "sub- 
stance of things hoped for and the evidence 
of things not seen." 
The parent will easily observe two types of 
character relative to the matter of forward- 
looking. There is one class of persons who 
never seem to know what is going to happen 
until the act is finished. They are never ready 
Looking 
Ahead for 
Tomorrow Management of Children 
147 
to meet a common situation, nor are they pre- 
pared to withstand anything like a shock of 
surprise. The person who lacks vision, or 
ability to see in advance the outcome of his 
undertakings, is inclined to worry and to suf- 
fer from extreme nervousness. On the other 
hand, the person who sees clearly the outcome 
of the ordinary routine duty and undertak- 
ings of the day, is usually prepared to meet 
them with calm and clear judgment. 
But, again we must remember that chil- 
dren will learn to visualize their work only 
through practice. What is your task for to- 
morrow, my boy, my girl? Can you see in 
your mind the teacher, the other pupils, the 
lesson outline, the part which will probably 
be assigned to you? Can you, in your mind, 
hear your own voice in the act of reciting to- 
morrow's lesson? Can you see yourself on 
the playground with the other children and 
hear many familiar voices of the happy chil- 
dren playing about you? Thus you will ques- 
tion your child briefly at evening, giving exer- 
cise to the imagination and to the visualiza- 
tion of his movements for the morrow. You 
will be careful to lead his mind to act through 
not only the eye, the most used instrument, 148 
DEVELOPING MOTHERLY INSTINCTS Management of Children 
149 
but through all the other sense organs. He 
will soon learn to enjoy this peculiar exercise 
almost as much as he would a game. 
In a family containing two or 
more children each one becomes a 
sort of instructor of the others. The older, 
especially, may be made a valuable teacher of 
those younger than himself. For some reason 
children are far more inclined to notice the 
behavior of other children than they are of 
adults. That being the case, you have the 
maximum of interest whenever one child ob- 
serves the conduct of another. Probably an 
untrained child teacher is in some respects 
more effective than the so-called skilled adult 
teacher. Probably our difficulty in securing 
the attention of the learner in the ordinary 
schoolroom situation is connected with the fact 
of there being a natural line of separation be- 
tween the consciousness of the older and that 
of the younger generation. 
Wherefore, the parent will render a double 
service to the children of the household when- 
ever he arranges that one of them may be a 
teacher of the others. It will be found, also, 
that the child teacher is a very willing one 
and will give greater attention to the matter 
The Older 
Teach the 
Younger 150 
The Home 
of his own instruction after he becomes con- 
scious of his responsibility as a manager and 
leader of the others. In order to make this 
inter-relation of teacher and learner highly 
effective it will be necessary for the parent to 
take up each task or project in a very care- 
ful manner, omitting details at first and fol- 
lowing simplest of outlines throughout. 
The thoughtful parent will under- 
stand that the child must enjoy the 
privilege of making many blunders. We all 
learn through our imperfections. Even the 
class recitations of children should be largely 
matters of trial and correction. In case their 
recitations are practically all correct you may 
be assured that the lesson is too easy. So with 
home instruction. Let the child blunder away. 
His vision of the thing to be done is lacking 
in detail while the co-ordination of mind and 
hand is necessarily very imperfect. 
It is the younger parent or the younger 
teacher who is most inclined to make the 
blunder of exacting the perfect recitation from 
the child. Suppose a five-year old boy is 
trying to make for himself a plaything; for 
example, a miniature cart constructed of sticks 
and spools. No matter how crude the finished 
Growth 
Through Im= 
perfections Management of Children 
151 
product of his tiny hand the effort should be 
regarded as satisfactory and practically per- 
fect. Suppose a five-year old girl is attempt- 
ing to make a garment for her doll. Now, it 
is far more desirable to give her meager guid- 
ance and let her blunder away, finally turning 
out whatever product her unskilled hand is 
capable of. Considering her age and expe- 
rience the imperfect effort is entirely satis- 
factory. So with the older child, reciting in 
the class room. The teacher who really un- 
derstands the significance of trial and correc- 
tion will be not only patient but actually 
pleased with many of the crude recitation per- 
formances. 
Another prior right of the com- 
mon child is that of inquisitive- 
ness. His interest in things not seen may lead 
him into trouble occasionally. He may break 
a few valuable articles or disarrange the fur- 
niture. However, his right to investigate 
takes precedence over the rights inherent in 
mere property, either to be intact or to be 
arranged in a certain way. The three-year 
old who smashed his father's watch in order 
to "find the noise in it" was committing no 
wrong, from the standpoint of good pedagogy. 
The Right 
to In= 
quisitiveness 152 
The Home 
He was merely in the act .of inquiring and 
learning. 
Many children, naturally bright and in- 
quisitive, become early suppressed by parents 
and teachers through constant prohibitions 
based on the erroneous idea that they should 
do nothing crude or wrong. The boy who 
thought that his middle name was "don't" 
was an instance of the childish mind repressed 
to the point of indifference or weak initiative. 
Many wise teachers of the young are studi- 
ously avoiding the direct negative prohibition, 
preferring rather to witness many blunders 
rather than much repression. 
In the theoretic sense every fam- 
ily probably contains its "black 
sheep." That is, if enough children should be 
born in any given family there would at length 
appear one with a very odd or eccentric dis- 
position. There might be half a dozen of the 
bright, tractable variety, and these followed 
by a seventh child with a disposition sugges- 
tive of the embryo tyrant or prize-fighter. 
Not infrequently young parents who have got 
on so happily with the first two or three chil- 
dren, have practically all the pride taken out 
of them through the belligerent conduct of 
The Black 
Sheep Management of Children 
153 
one making his appearance later. Human na- 
ture is considerably the same among the entire 
membership of any given tribe or race of peo- 
ple. There is enough inter-relationship to 
warrant the belief that practically all the dis- 
positions common to the race are really latent 
within the nature of every member thereof. 
Almost any ordinary household is likely to 
have a child which will manifest the eccen- 
tricities infrequently appearing within the in- 
dividuals of the tribe. 
It is not really disgraceful, therefore, in 
case a sort of young rogue should be born 
within the membership of a comparatively 
quiet and peaceful family group. At times 
this eccentric child is really a blessing in dis- 
guise. He is so different from the others that 
he is capable of starting many new lines of 
activity, both offensive and defensive. Not 
infrequently the birth of the child of difficult 
management sends the parents hurrying back 
to the books on child psychology in order to 
learn new rules whereby to handle his case. 
If they will only persist in their efforts the 
trial will prove helpful, both to the child and 
to the parents. We may be assured that the 
father and mother who must handle the case 154 
The Home 
of the stubborn and belligerent member finally 
becomes much chastened and subdued as well 
as greatly enriched in their store of wisdom 
and sympathy. 
Finally, to conclude the chapter, 
we feel inclined to admit that 
there is no fixed set of rules for the manage- 
ment of the ordinary group of children about 
the family circle. Practically all the way it 
is a matter of trial and testing for both genera- 
tions. Not a few of the methods applied by 
the parents will fail and must be withdrawn. 
Again, out of much wearisome blundering 
there will often be discovered a scheme of 
management of a difficult child which is worth 
far more than any preconceived idea about the 
affair. Under normal conditions, therefore, it 
may be said in truth that the parents and the 
children of the progressive household are all 
alike active members of a valuable school. 
A combination of patience and persistence 
furnishes by far the best cue to success in the 
management of a family of growing children. 
It is the over-submissive, very plastic child 
which is likely to take your instruction at a 
mere glance. It is the more promising child, 
usually, which will resist guidance until he 
Trial and 
Testing Management of Children 
155 
can see some justification for it, and then he 
will probably yield with considerable reluct- 
ance. The strong, self-reliant personality is a 
thing to be grown through a long period of 
trial and correction. It is indeed a matter 
worthy of great rejoicing if parents may fin- 
ally live to see their maturing sons and 
daughters clear-minded, clean-hearted, self- 
reliant and inspired with high ideals for the 
achievements of their own adult careers. CHAPTER IX 
THE MAKING OF HOME APPARATUS 
It is advisable for parents to assist their 
children in the creation of practically all nec- 
essary play apparatus. The undertaking may 
prove slightly difficult at first for the unini- 
tiated, but it will increase in interest and be- 
come even fascinating after one has had a 
small amount of practice. The cost of the 
home-made playthings is negligible, while the 
necessary materials are easily obtained. 
In the construction of play appa- 
ratus-or in case the child should 
be making anything else of a material nature 
-let the parent proceed under the assumption 
that the young performer is fundamentally 
creating his own character. A certain four- 
teen-year old boy was given the task of build- 
ing a tool-house on the back end of the home 
lot. At the beginning the father said to him 
substantially: "Remember, my boy, you are 
not merely building a house, you are building 
a character. It is your attitude of mind and 
your interest in the work-it is your vision- 
The Crea= 
tive Idea 
156 MAKING HIS OWN APPARATUS 
157 158 
The Home 
which I am watching more than anything 
else." 
It may be said, also, that children become 
far more interested in their own crude crea- 
tions than they do in any finely constructed, 
ready-made materials. A rough-hewn sled or 
wagon made by the unskilled hand of a ten- 
year old is more valuable than the highest 
priced, ready-to-use plaything of this same na- 
ture. A few carpenter's tools-saw, trisquare, 
hammer, drawing-knife, and the like-will 
suffice for the purpose at hand. A workshop 
can be arranged in the basement, attic or out- 
house. During the summer season an open 
shed is best, where there may be perfect free- 
dom and the minimum of interference. 
Marbles, dolls, kites and tops are 
creations of the common child- 
hood of the human family. Every normal 
child possesses an inherent right to enjoy these 
materials of ancient origin to the fullest ex- 
tent-not merely for the sake of the amuse- 
ment which they may offer him, but for the 
sake of participating in so much of the in- 
herent race conduct. 
Marbles is one of the oldest games partici- 
pated in by children. No one seems to know 
Observe 
Racial 
Interests Making of Home Apparatus 
159 
when and where the first game was started. 
However, at a certain season of the year you 
may expect this boyish sport to break out with 
passionate zeal in practically every ordinary 
community. Have your own boy get into the 
game. Assist him in procuring all the neces- 
sary marble equipment to make him happy 
and effective in holding his own with other 
young players. It is good for the father him- 
self to knuckle down to this interesting game 
occasionally-a good way to get acquainted 
with the boy and a good way to hold his con- 
fidence. 
The doll is another ancient plaything still 
in use throughout the entire world. During 
all recent times at least, little girls have used 
this instrument of happiness and love. The 
mother should be far more concerned about 
the doll question for her little girl four to 
nine years of age than about the clothes ques- 
tion for the same girl. Not self-consciousness, 
but rather the turning of the mind to some ab- 
sorbing object of attention and work-that is 
the normal mode of behavior for the age here 
considered. 
There are really three distinctive ages of 
dolls for the growing girl: the John-and-Jane 
age, the pink-cheek age, and the rag-doll age. 160 
The Home 
The tiny tot of either sex is fond of a mere 
doll form, with arms and feet and the sem- 
blance of a head. Merely something to throw 
around, to call a familiar name and to regard 
as an animated creature, is entirely satisfac- 
tory for the time being. But, somewhere from 
five to six there must be substituted a doll of 
comely appearance, one with pink cheeks, 
store clothes and other equipment all ready 
to use. The attention of the child has shifted 
from the thought of mere life and response to 
the thought of physical attractiveness. Dur- 
ing this second age of dolls your small 
daughter will frequently be seen in the com- 
pany of one or more others of like interest. 
These now imitate the mothers whom they see 
upon the street with baby carriages. 
The rag-doll age is one of extreme 
interest and significance for aft 
concerned. The correct manner of procedure 
for the mother is now to obtain the mere doll 
form, all stuffed and ready to use, but with 
no ready-made habiliments. Then, the happy 
young possessor should be encouraged to pen- 
cil the features as carefully as she can, and 
finally to ink them over. The next step is to 
make the garments. This childish effort 
The Rag 
Doll 
Laboratory Making of Home Apparatus 
161 
should continue through a period of weeks, 
and with increasing interest for all concerned; 
for here we have the first true age of the crea- 
tive art. When the rag doll is finished it is 
a thing much to be admired, chiefly because 
of the fact that it expresses the soul of the 
child and hints prophetically at a time when 
the little one may be a woman grown and per- 
haps a real mother. 
During the two or three years pre- 
ceding the 'teen age your child 
will show a marked tendency to seek play com- 
panions. Conversational powers are now de- 
veloping rapidly. Probably nature is at work 
upon the practice of speech forms as well as 
practice in the use of playthings. There will 
be many questions, many comparisons and 
many words of comment passing between the 
young social companions as they deal with 
their play apparatus. If you do not chance to 
have a playmate for your child, by all means 
borrow one. Doubtless there will be neigh- 
bors who likewise are in need of such an ex- 
change of favors. 
As stated above, children learn rapidly from 
one another. The inventive genius of each 
will tend to supplement the lack in the others. 
The Group 
Interest In 
Playthings 162 
The Home 
Three little girls, all creating their rag dolls 
at the same time, and as a social group, will 
turn out a far better product on account of 
this exchange of suggestions and stimulation of 
a common interest. Boys likewise become in- 
terested in social companions who may help 
them enjoy their games and sports. The same 
give-and-take relations will obtain as was out- 
lined in discussing the girl problem. How- 
ever, boys are less agreeable than girls in the 
matter of a community interest in play and 
playthings. They are more fond of bantering, 
quarreling and contending. Sometimes a 
lively fight will grow out of their disputes. 
Children of both sexes are instinc- 
tively fond of climbing. Whether 
this predisposition dates back to an ancient day 
when our ancestors lived in trees; or, whether 
it is merely Nature's way of compelling chil- 
dren to engage in a valuable form of exer- 
cise; as to this matter we do not need to de- 
cide. Climbing strengthens practically every 
large muscle in the body. The arms especially 
require the development which this invigorat- 
ing exercise can best contribute. To toughen 
and harden the tissues of the arms during the 
age of childhood probably means a better con- 
Apparatus 
for 
Climbing Making of Home Apparatus 
163 
dition of health throughout the years to fol- 
low. The child or adult of undeveloped bi- 
ceps is likely to suffer from retarded circula- 
tion and lowered vitality. It is, therefore, 
highly important that the parent give both the 
boys and the girls of the family full oppor- 
tunity for the climbing exercises. 
A large spreading tree on the back lawn is 
worth more to the small children than a half 
dozen pieces of fine furniture in the house. 
In fact, many velvet carpets, soft cushions and 
downy couches are conducive to stupor and 
laziness for the young generation-precisely 
the opposite condition which the spreading 
tree would contribute. Unfortunately, not 
half the families can afford the luxury of a 
large tree for the children to climb. Indeed, 
probably not half of them have even so much 
as a back yard upon which the children might 
play. However, the exuberance of child na- 
ture will force itself to the point of some kind 
of expression. Healthy children will climb 
something if you give them the slightest op- 
portunity. A small ladder is a fair substitute 
for a tree. Some kind of climbing arrange- 
ment may be constructed at the back porch, 
even though one is compelled to use the frag- 
ments of a pine box for the purpose. 164 
The Home 
A light, five-foot baby ladder to be used 
about the walls of the living room may be 
made for the three-year old tot by any inter- 
ested half-grown boy. The mother need not 
fear that the child will injure himself by fall- 
ing. Indeed, children scarcely ever fall while 
in the act of climbing, except as they may be 
disturbed by someone calling to them in fear 
and excitement. Also, it must be borne in 
mind that the bony structure of the child's 
body is so green and elastic that there is little 
danger of a fracture. 
A single strand of rope, suspended from an 
eve or other high point is a splendid climbing 
device. If practicable, this should be ar- 
ranged in the form of a "swing-off" that will 
give something of the effect of a long pendu- 
lum. The longer the suspended rope the 
wider the amplitude of the pendulum and the 
greater the joy for the children. A sack partly 
filled with grass will make a suitable seat for 
the swing, and prevent falling. 
Any adult member of the family 
may easily construct a baby swing 
for the two-year old, which will prove a valu- 
able piece of apparatus for his instruction and 
for relieving his busy mother of his care dur- 
A Baby 
Swing for 
the House Making of Home Apparatus 
165 
ing a part of the day. The seat of this valu- 
able plaything is one foot square, the size of 
the end of a common egg box. The swing is 
suspended by four strands of rope fastened 
to the corners, and the child is held in by short 
strips of wood attached to the ropes, front and 
back and on the two sides, about eight inches 
above the seat. This swing may be hung in 
the doorway or upon a firm, level beam. It 
should be suspended low enough so that the 
little one may get in and out without assistance, 
and may touch with his toes so as to swing him- 
self unaided. Thus he acquires independence. 
The swing is one of a family of playthings 
all of which embody the experience of fall- 
ing through space. The sliding board be- 
longs to this group and is a valuable adjunct 
to any household containing little children. 
A smooth board ten inches wide, rubbed down 
thoroughly with ordinary floor wax, and ar- 
ranged at an incline of forty-five degrees, is 
substantially what is wanted here. The upper 
end may be fastened in the forks of a tree or 
otherwise, and it may be reached by means of 
an improvised ladder. In summer time the 
sliding board should be placed outdoors with 
the lower end in a sand pit, if practicable. Of 
course, one may purchase a more attractive 166 
The Home 
sliding board than the one described, but per- 
haps the child will not enjoy an expensive one 
any more than he will the home-made pattern. 
A trolley glide may be constructed with 
little effort and expense. From seventy-five 
to one hundred feet of very heavy wire will 
be needed. Secure one end at the base of a 
tree or firm post and the other at such a point 
as will give an incline of about thirty degrees. 
Perhaps the roof of a porch will suffice for 
the jumping-off place. Two small pulley 
wheels attached to the same beam of wood, 
one foot in length and with a rope suspended 
beneath, will constitute the balance of the ap- 
paratus. The grass sack will again serve for 
the seat. Parents will find the trolley glide 
an object of intense interest on the part of 
their own children, and very probably it will 
attract many others from the neighborhood. 
In case there is a small space of 
vacant ground about the residence, 
the outdoor playhouse is a most valuable de- 
vice for the ordinary small child. This may 
be constructed after the following plan: Erect 
uprights as if the purpose were to construct a 
small building, say, eight by twelve feet or 
ten by fourteen feet in dimensions. Box up 
The 
Outdoor 
Playhouse Making of Home Apparatus 
167 
the base with ten-inch material and fill to 
nearly level with sand. Instead of walls in- 
close the structure with heavy, square-mesh 
wire. Make a gable roof, using any material 
that will keep out the rays of the sun and turn 
off the mass of the rain. Of course, there will 
be left an opening for a doorway. Now, place 
sand diggers, wooden blocks of various lengths 
and perhaps a hammock or a small sliding 
board, within the inclosure. Many handy 
devices will suggest themselves to the construc- 
tors of this form of playhouse. The wire as 
specified will be suitable for the children to 
climb on the inside and for trailing vines to 
climb on the outside. 
In case the outdoor playhouse is not prac- 
ticable, some kind of playioom may be ar- 
ranged within. Even an attic is better than 
nothing. The thoughtful parent will find a 
way whereby to give the child the needed ad- 
vantage of a place to play, even if he is com- 
pelled to hang some kind of cage out at an 
upstair window, or to cut an extra opening 
into an unused loft. 
Every common boy or girl pos- 
sesses an inherent right to play in 
the soil and to learn something about the 
Amateur 
Soil Culture 168 
The Home 
growth of plants. Give your small child a 
quantity of earth in a box, and a cup of water 
so that with these ingredients he may have the 
pleasure of making mud pies and other forms 
of imitative art. Procure a box of sand, per- 
haps with one side constructed of glass, and 
in this plant some beans and a few grains of 
corn. The child will take great delight in 
watching the behavior of the swelling germs 
as they appear through the glass. Even the 
parent might learn something to his advantage 
if he will but take a few moments a day and 
sit with the child as an observer of the awak- 
ening germ life. In case of such seeds as beans 
one may almost see the changes and growth, of 
the roots, the stem and the flowering plant. 
While many families are entirely shut out 
from such an opportunity, it is a rare advan- 
tage for the small child to have the privilege 
of growing a miniature garden of his own. 
Even a plat four or five feet square is far bet- 
ter than nothing of the kind. Occasionally 
there is a parent who has sufficient ingenuity 
to construct a large, deep box, fill it with rich 
earth, and so provide a baby garden for the 
little one. Occasionally, where there is ample 
space, the family is enabled to make real gar- Making of Home Apparatus 
169 
deners out of the growing children and thus 
to impart an invaluable interest to their awak- 
ening personalities. 
In concluding the chapter, may we be per- 
mitted once more earnestly to urge that the 
normal growing child must have his full share 
of playthings and play opportunities. There 
is no business concern or other affair of the 
family of greater importance than this. The 
necessary cost of such provisions is so trifling 
that expense is not a sufficient excuse for neg- 
lecting the matter. Crude home-made play- 
things, the creations partly of the parent and 
partly of the children themselves, with a touch 
of interest and a dash of enthusiasm-these 
are some of the essentials of a very satisfactory 
play center within the precincts of the ordi- 
nary family. MEN OF TOMORROW 
170 CHAPTER X 
PURSUIT OF OUTDOOR PROJECTS 
While they are small the home is the cen- 
tral plant in the education of the children; 
but as they grow older, it becomes a sort of 
central station of control and direction. Or, 
to phrase the matter differently, the home is 
not all in the house; it is where the children 
may be found, provided they are acting under 
its influence. Not merely to have them within 
its confines and to keep them there, but often 
to send them out on a mission of learning and 
of acquiring desired experience-that is the 
duty of a standard home in relation to its 
growing members. 
Parents must realize that during a 
considerable term of years, their 
children belong to nature and the great out- 
of-doors. To deal sympathetically with this 
inner call to the wild is to win the affections 
of the child and to give him that balanced 
character of physique and mentality most con- 
ducive to a promising career. 
The Call of 
Nature 
171 172 
The Home 
Strangely enough, a great many parents fail 
to grasp the deeper significance of the hunger 
of childhood for outdoor experience, while 
they are inclined to regard the disposition as 
perverseness or mere wantonness. Perhaps the 
first step for the parent to take in dealing with 
the matter is to regard the call to nature as 
pointing toward a necessity of training and de- 
velopment rather than toward a mere indul- 
gence in pleasure. The outdoor life of chil- 
dren is not for the sake of the fun but for the 
sake of the fact; it is not to be accorded them 
in order that they might have a good time, 
but to make assurance that they will have a 
good character. 
It will help parents to understand how to 
deal constructively with the outdoor problem 
if they will but recall that childhood is to some 
extent a recapitulation of the conduct of the 
race. Our ancestors lived in forests and moun- 
tains. They made their homes in caves or in 
crude lodges constructed out of the materials 
lying about free for the taking. They dealt 
first hand with the woods and streams and the 
unbroken turf. They subsisted upon the prod- 
ucts of untamed nature. Now, children are 
lured to these primitive situations and things. Pursuit of Outdoor Projects 
173 
For a brief period of years a boy is far happier 
in a cave than in the finest of modern apart- 
ments. 
Not only must we as parents recognize the 
right of our preadolescent boys and girls to 
deal first hand with the crude things of mate- 
rial nature, but we must plan as definitely 
their outdoor life as we do their indoor life, 
and their schoolroom recitations. Children 
have a right to camp, to hike, and to make ex- 
tended excursions into the woodlands, over the 
mountains, and out upon the waters. Only the 
limits of physical and moral safety should be 
thought of in planning these outings. 
We have now reached an oppor- 
tunity for the parent to provide for 
the child an outline of the life more abundant. 
No happier topic of household conversation 
can possibly be thought of than that of some 
proposed outdoor picnic or camping in the 
woods. It is the topic of intense interest which 
elicits the best conversational powers on the 
part of the children and adults as well. Here, 
therefore, is a splendid opportunity for home 
instruction in the language of the informed 
and enlightened. The outing to occur in phys- 
ical form ten days hence should begin now to 
Household 
Conversa= 
tion 174 
The Home 
exist in the mind and emotions of the prospec- 
tive young picnicker, and should fill his 
dreams with the most charming of anticipa- 
tions. 
It will be noticed that the period of intense 
interest in the life of out-of-doors is one of 
withdrawing from materiality. The world of 
the child was once filled with things to have 
and to use; now it is filled with projects and 
possible achievement. A new degree of self- 
satisfaction has dawned; the heart beats 
stronger and firmer than it did hitherto; the 
mind and body now seem keyed to a pitch of 
approximate excitement; a new and stirring 
drama in the individual career is now being 
played. But, parents of education and refine- 
ment-forgetting their own childish disposi- 
tion-are often inclined to be shocked at the 
manifest crudeness and savagery of their chil- 
dren turned loose in the open. 
One way to bring refinement into the heart 
and mind of a child is for him to follow im- 
pulse and instinct and blunder away until his 
efforts naturally take on the higher forms. 
Children naturally take to the water as well 
as to the earth or the soil. If managed prop- 
erly they will readily learn to swim and to 
row. Safeguard them against the shock of Pursuit of Outdoor Projects 
175 
fear and danger and they soon become very 
much at home upon the lakes and streams. 
Our true mission here as parents is not to hin- 
der but to help; not to grant our children 
their outdoor life as a matter of pleasure, but 
to provide it as a required exercise. We must 
see to it that they acquire and learn mastery 
over the elements, such as water and fire; just 
as we would have them master the subject- 
matter of language and science in the school- 
room. 
In a rough way children must be 
accorded opportunities for pass- 
ing briefly through the primitive, barbarous 
stages of wood, stone, fire and water. It is a 
strictly educational procedure for children to 
construct their own shacks and crude huts out 
of trunks and branches of trees. It is likewise 
a valuable exercise for them to learn to build 
miniature dwellings and shops out of the 
stones that may be gathered from the hillside. 
For them to know how to build a fire, how to 
bank it so as to save the live coals, how to pre- 
pare food in an outdoor fireplace, how to man- 
age a prairie fire or forest fire-all this is most 
valuable information for any young boy or 
girl. 
The Bar= 
barous Ages 176 
The Home 
Then, there is the construction of such 
things as dams and caves. We can do much 
for the health, the pleasure and the force of 
character of our boys and girls if we patiently 
take the occasion to help them construct a dam 
across some small stream and perhaps to place 
a miniature water-wheel. Again, we may add 
greatly to the character, the vision and the 
philosophy of our boys and girls if we in- 
dulge them constructively in the making of 
caves. The observant parent may often see 
the nine-year olds and ten-year olds burrowing 
into banks and under cliffs as if their very 
lives depended upon the effort. Now, here is 
a divine hunger in the heart of the young 
which must be met by a joyous response in the 
heart of the parent or some substitute teacher. 
It is a sad commentary upon the 
character and understanding of 
parents who may see fit to scold their chil- 
dren for desiring to build caves, when they 
ought to be encouraging them in this joyous 
undertaking. The father who can spare an 
hour or two per week to help and inspire his 
own children and their playmates in the con- 
struction of a good cave is doing much to win 
the permanent respect if not the affection of 
such children. 
The Mastery 
Over Nature Pursuit of Outdoor Projects 
177 
Out of all the crude behavior outlined above 
and insisted upon as necessary for the children 
there will come at length mastery on their 
part of the common forces of nature. How 
different the diverging ways may in time be- 
come. To keep a child in and restrain him 
from his natural call to the wild; to keep him 
bent over books and housed in close rooms 
while the inner boy lures him away to the 
hills-to treat a child in such manner as this 
amounts to a serious repression of certain na- 
tural tendencies and finally it leads to some 
kind of perversion. The child who is re- 
strained from his rightful outdoor conduct be- 
comes something of a timid and cringing per- 
sonality. Instead of being master of the ele- 
ments, like wind and wave and fire, he is fear- 
ful of these things and perhaps acquires a per- 
manent habit of shuddering at the thought of 
their destructiveness. 
Now, let the parent consider the construc- 
tive possibilities here. That is, let him antici- 
pate the larger and fuller life to be acquired 
by the boy or girl who enjoys his full experi- 
ence in dealing with the elements and finally 
learns many ways whereby to subordinate 
them to his purpose. The child so experienced 178 
The Home 
acquires a sense of worth and a feeling of su- 
premacy over the ordinary difficulties of our 
common life. 
At the age of about twelve the boy 
especially-and perhaps quite as 
truely the girl-takes a somewhat new turn in 
his interests regarding the outdoor life. The 
age of romance or chivalry is now hinting of 
a new kind of achievement. Not merely act- 
ing in response to the rough things of outdoor 
life but acting in teams and organized groups 
begins to have significance. The camp life, 
the hike, and the outdoor stunt must now be 
performed partly for the sake of the credit 
and honor of the group. Certain standards of 
accomplishment are set; certain grades of 
achievement must be met; but all this in con- 
sciousness of a relation to one's fellows. For 
the first time in the individual life human 
relations become intensified and the right type 
of behavior makes its appeal from within. 
Perhaps you have had experience in ad- 
monishing a ten-year old boy who behaved 
immorally when he seemed neither to heed 
your advice nor to desire to please you. But, 
after he has advanced two years, having en- 
tered the true scout age, you will perhaps find 
The True 
Scout Age C. Underwood & Underwood 
THE TRUE SCOUT 
179 180 
The Home 
him very determined in his effort to act in a 
manner that is acceptable and pleasing to the 
members of his troup or gang. By far the 
greatest natural influence in the life of a 
twelve-year old is the appeal of his troup 
members who live up to certain agreed stand- 
ards of behavior. The parent who fails to 
take advantage of this peculiar type of inner 
convictions as to what were right and proper 
to be done, is certainly missing one of the 
greatest opportunities to deal in sympathy and 
whole-heartedness with his child. To ignore 
the strong bond of fellowship and loyalty be- 
tween members of the scout troup is to break 
down some of the connections which should 
finally bind the individual life into a power- 
ful, self-reliant personality. 
No matter who the parent is or 
where he lives, the scouting expe- 
rience of his child must be regarded as a fun- 
damental part of normal home education and 
character development. Something may be 
omitted out of the schoolroom course; the 
arithmetic lessons may be shortened and the 
history recitations condensed, but the various 
stages and grades of the scout training should 
have their full quota of time and attention. 
Give the 
Scout His 
Day Pursuit of Outdoor Projects 
181 
However, it is understood that the essence 
rather than the mere formalities of scouting 
will be conducive to best results. The parents 
need not master the scout manual or be able 
to give the examinations for the different 
grades, in order to perform his full duty to 
the child. It is the outdoor experience, as de- 
fined above, for the child of the slightly 
younger age, which we must keep in mind for 
the scout. The only new and distinctive ele- 
ments is that of troup loyalty and of reach- 
ing standards necessary to meet the opinion 
and approval of the troup members. 
Not only parents but the people in 
general have been slow to appre- 
ciate the idea of treating girls as young hu- 
man beings just the same as they do boys. At 
the age of twelve to fifteen girls take to scout- 
ing very happily, and they should have their 
turn in the field and forest. Perhaps the exer- 
cises out-of-doors should not be so strenuous 
as those engaged in by boys, but they should 
be of practically the same nature-hiking, 
climbing, boating, camping, and the like. 
There are two or three excellent organiza- 
tions intended to take care of the outdoor in- 
terests of girls; such as, the Girl Scouts, the 
Girls Take 
to Scouting 182 
The Home 
Camp Fire Girls and the Girl Reserves. The 
parents should allow their young daughters 
considerable freedom of choice in joining 
these orders. However, no girl will find it 
an advantage to unite with more than one of 
them. The Girl Scouts organization may be 
designated as an adaptation of the Boy Scouts 
movement. The Camp Fire Girl organiza- 
tion feature more particularly the romance 
interests and includes more of the symbolism 
and poetic aspects of the younger girl per- 
sonality. The Girl Reserves is the name of a 
branch of the Young Women's Christian As- 
sociation, and it gives more attention to the 
religious phases of the young life. 
The person who conducts the ex- 
cursion and picnic outings of the 
young scouts should keep in mind the signifi- 
cant things of nature. It is quite as easy to 
give attention to the rocks and roughly to 
the geologic situation as it is to ignore these 
matters and keep the mind engaged with triv- 
ial things. Even the busy father or mother, 
who takes a turn as leader and guide, may di- 
rect the thought of the boys and girls to the 
interesting aspects of the natural scenery. By 
calling the attention to actual arrangements 
Keeping 
Close to 
Nature Pursuit of Outdoor Projects 
183 
and formations along the banks and cliffs one 
may initiate a life-long habit of scientific ob- 
servation. 
The elements of soil culture will not be 
found a difficult matter to present to the eager 
young minds. How did the soil get here? 
Why is it thin in some places and deep in 
others? Why does it vary so much in color 
and apparent texture? Is Nature at work to- 
day producing soil? Are there any processes 
at work destroying or wearing away the soil? 
Why does vegetation grow so abundantly in 
one soil and so sparsely in another? Such 
rudimentary questions as these will stimulate 
an interesting and valuable discussion, if 
rightly introduced by the leader of the ordi- 
nary camp-fire group of young people. 
The central purpose of this text on 
home training of the young is not 
being forgotten. Whatever the parent can do, 
or, through his influence can have done, to 
make the child more fond of his own life is a 
direct contribution to the building up of the 
family. We must use every worthy means 
for making the home life of the children 
happy through the exercise of interests of their 
own. Now, in order to accomplish this valu- 
Not to 
Abandon 
The Home 184 
The Home 
able purpose it is wise to introduce a consider- 
able amount of the' outdoor types of conduct, 
as insisted above. Every valuable lesson 
learned here on the part of the boy or girl 
brings him back to the family circle an en- 
riched soul and satisfied more fully with the 
arrangements of that household. 
Similarly as was suggested for teaching the 
things of the soil, may the parent call the at- 
tention of the child to the things which grow 
out of the soil. If one can but name the ordi- 
nary familiar trees and shrubs while he points 
them out one by one to a group of happy young 
picnickers; if one can specify briefly as to the 
definite purposes which trees and plants serve 
in the economy of human life and progress- 
then he may in the true sense be considered a 
teacher as well as a guardian and guide of the 
young. 
"Hath the rain a father? Or, who 
hath begotten the dew?" Thus in- 
quired one of the sages of old, and it is well 
for us to make a similar inquiry of our chil- 
dren. Without having had any advanced or 
scientific course of training, a parent may 
teach ordinary boys and girls not a little of 
value about the wind and the rain. How to 
Discover the 
Elements Pursuit of Outdoor Projects 
185 
know the relations of the wind to the rain, or 
the changes in weather; how to observe the 
significance of the wind in drying the soil and 
conveying seeds from place to place; how to 
deal intelligently and fearlessly with destruc- 
tive wind storms; how to understand the or- 
igin, the significance and the immediate con- 
sequences of rain-endless questions of this 
sort can be brought into the outdoor conver- 
sations of children without necessary infer- 
ence with their fun and amusement. 
Then, what a vast panorama of interest and 
inspiration for the young mind which is suc- 
cessfully turned toward contemplation of the 
movements of the sun and stars. Parents are 
inclined to become too prosaic and too mature 
of fact in the midst of their strenuous routine 
work. To drop the drudgery forthwith occa- 
sionally and to turn to a contemplation of the 
behavior of the cosmic bodies is indicative of 
a growing mind, and is most refreshing for the 
ordinary parent, as well. 
It requires very little learning, is simply a 
matter of adult wonder and inspiration, to lift 
the thought admiringly in the presence of 
adolescent boys and girls while one expresses 
his delight at the great world order manifested 
in the starry firmament. 186 
The Home 
Finally, the mind of youth must be invited 
to consider the deep and mysterious aspects of 
our common earthly existence, as suggested 
by the great out-of-doors. Any ordinary child 
may at one educational stroke, as it were, be 
fashioned into a sort of poet, dreamer and 
philosopher, without detracting one whit from 
his ability to use his hands in the performance 
of common work, or to use his brains in the 
study of the common lessons at school. CHAPTER XI 
THE SEARCH FOR HIDDEN GENIUS 
The waste of talent or latent genius in the 
ordinary child is likely to be a little less than 
a tragedy. Unless the educative processes are 
begun very early and continued very systemat- 
ically, many of the larger possible achieve- 
ments are practically certain to remain forever 
shut in for want of an opportunity to express 
themselves. 
It is time rather than talent which 
is likely to hinder your child from 
becoming the strong, able personality which 
his inherent nature warrants. Parents should 
not be misled by the current report that the 
majority of the children of today are born 
inherently weak or mediocre. But they should 
go to work courageously and cheerfully to 
help bring the latent genius of their offspring 
into active expression. The ordinary child of 
the ordinary parents possesses ten times more 
latent talent than time and circumstances will 
allow for calling into service. 
Time and 
Talent 
187 C. Underwood & Underwood 
MAKING GOOD USE OF HIS TIME 
188 Search for Hidden Genius 
189 
Let us but stop to consider what the fore- 
going statement means. For example, you 
have a little girl five years of age. In the line 
of needle art alone she could be taught to knit, 
to crochet, to hemstitch, to embroider, to do 
plain sewing, to do special and fancy sewing, 
to trim, cut and fit garments, to patch and 
mend-in short, to spend an interesting and 
useful lifetime in this single form of human 
service. But there are as many as a score of 
ways whereby your little daughter could be 
taught to spend her entire career quite as hap- 
pily and quite as effectively. 
Now, turn to your five-year old boy of or- 
dinary talent. He could be instructed to work 
in wood alone for an entire lifetime, render- 
ing useful and remunerative service to his 
fellows-plain carpentry, joinery, finishing, 
mill work, cabinet-making, saw mill employ- 
ment, lumberman, special manufacturing, and 
all of the like, in an endless variety. 
Then, your small son has inherited equal 
talent for learning to work in stone, brick, con- 
crete, pottery, and the like. In any branch of 
these he might spend a half century of learn- 
ing, of achievement and of profitable service 
to his fellow man. He possesses the talent for 190 
The Home 
all this mastery of learning and of perform- 
ance sufficient for a life period twenty times 
longer than the span of years supposed to be 
allotted to man. It is the limitations of time 
and the pressure of circumstances which cut 
off the possible use of the inherent ability of 
the ordinary child rather than lack of ample 
talent-it is this condition which narrows the 
actual scope of individual learning and ac- 
complishment of your child. 
Therefore, rather than pity your 
child, with the thought that he is 
perhaps inherently dull and weak, give thanks 
to the Great Author of our common nature 
that your little one is a rich storehouse of po- 
tential learning and accomplishment. Then, 
set to work with zeal and reverence to help 
him actualize as much of his potential ability 
as time and occasion will permit. If your 
child is in a fair state of health and fairly 
sound of body and limb, that is a sufficient 
foundation on which to build a worthy per- 
sonality. 
Make the days and the years count. While 
your child's mechanism is tender and plastic; 
while his mind and its variety of manifesta- 
tions are in the stages of eager interest and 
A Call for 
Reverence Search for Hidden Genius 
191 
desire; while the body and the mind are so 
quick in their responses-with all this flood of 
opportunity at your disposal, assist your child 
to acquire a mastery of his own life. 
Look deep into the unfolding infantile na- 
ture and try to observe the marvelous rhythm 
in the tiny growing personality. Notice first 
the so-called vegetable life-how with a beau- 
tiful regularity the little one tends to partake 
of food, to sleep, to take exercise and to elim- 
inate its waste materials. Notice, again, the 
slowly awakening consciousness-the seeming 
curiosity, the baby intelligence and wonder, 
the use of the sense organs, the dawn of rea- 
son, the spasmodic emotions, the signs of mem- 
ory, the development of cunning and higher 
intelligence. 
The idea here to be emphasized is 
this: If the parent is to learn how 
to search out the hidden genius in his own in- 
dividual child he must first learn to observe 
the miraculous unfolding nature of the child 
in general. After one has caught the idea of 
the living, awakening young personality; after 
one has learned to discern the rhythmic, dra- 
matic manifestations of that thing which we 
designate as human life; after one has learned 
Find the 
Whole Child 192 
The Home 
to behold no less than the hand of the Creator 
at work fashioning the character of the little 
one "created in His image"-then, whether 
parent or not, he will be in a position to dis- 
cover the individual genius of childhood. 
The tendency today is too much in the di- 
rection of decrying our common childhood. 
There has been such a large volume of writing 
and speech suggestive of a kind of modern 
decadence of the race and a sort of slow de- 
generacy of our common offspring, that many 
parents are prone to regard their own chil- 
dren with a sort of disgust or disappointment. 
Now, it is time to call off all this over- 
worked cry of despair while we as parents turn 
to the thought that our children are sent here 
as expressive of God's love and of His chal- 
lenge to mankind to go on and work out its 
own destiny. 
If you would have a happy home, 
free from jealousy and envy, free 
from bitterness and strife-learn to see the 
good in other people's children. By attempt- 
ing to exercise love and devotion to your own 
and that to the exclusion of others, you lose 
the breadth and depth of understanding neces- 
sary for the full enjoyment of the opportuni- 
Observe 
Others' 
Children Search for Hidden Genius 
193 
ties inherent in parenthood. In order to be 
enabled to love your own intelligently, you 
must learn to love those not your own at least 
moderately. 
Or, turn the matter around. Learn to see 
the divinity and the awakening beauty in boys 
and girls of other households and those play- 
ing about your own family hearthstone will 
awaken that much more easily your tenderest 
emotions of love and sympathy. Also, the par- 
ent who really learns to observe the awaken- 
ing talent or the hidden genius in his own and 
others' children, will find little spare time for 
singling out the so-called faults and weak- 
nesses of the younger generation. He will un- 
derstand that the adverse critic of the com- 
mon childhood about us is in fact a person 
who judges without knowledge of the common 
facts of human nature. 
The younger parent may be mis- 
taken in what looks like budding 
genius in the younger child. Often during 
the pre-school years-especially the shut-in, 
over-attended child-the little one will be- 
come very much absorbed in such matters as 
drawing or clay modelling. However, this 
usually proves to be a transitory interest such 
Real Genius 
Early 194 
The Home 
as any common case would develop under the 
circumstances. 
The deeper vein of genius is more pro- 
nounced and persistent and is likely to show 
up with a strong dominence during pre-adoles- 
cence. The genius that is to prevail in the life 
finally needs only the occasion to start it and 
no special effort to keep it going. Indeed, the 
effort to stop it or hinder it usually meets with 
little success. 
But true genius is very much one-sided and 
single in its purpose. After the child has de- 
veloped to the point that the parent feels as- 
sured of a permanent and unusual interest in 
something worth while, then, the immediate 
talk of training is to give a general course to 
support the narrower practice. 
As a rule, the young genius is not versatile 
in his interests or general in his outlook on 
life and society. There is a tendency, there- 
fore, to neglect everything but his one talent 
and to lose a part of the value of that because 
of narrow training. To hold the special tal- 
ent in check for a while, giving it only the 
rudiments of practice; to bring up the so- 
called fundamentals of common education and 
have the child in question pass the test in all 
of these;, to see that the young genius learns Search for Hidden Genius 
195 
to play with common children, to do a cer- 
tain amount of routine duty about home and 
to mingle socially with those of his age; in 
short, to give him the essentials of an all- 
round, democratic personality-that is the im- 
mediate task of the proud parents of the bud- 
ding genius. 
Recently a fifteen-year old high school 
sophomore girl was discovered to possess re- 
markable potentialities as a singer. She was 
taken to the great city to be trained under the 
ablest of artists. But the first three years of 
her education, as now planned, were to con- 
sist largely in mastering the interests and the 
subjects pertaining to a normal life in com- 
mon society. Many of the high school sub- 
jects were to be finished, certain foreign lan- 
guages were to be taken up and a regimen of 
strict living and discipline was prescribed. 
In the search for the hidden ge- 
nius in our children we must make 
generous allowance for shifting of interests. 
Many parents engage in bitter quarrels with 
their sons of the 'teen age simply because these 
youths refuse to buckle down to some kind of 
occupation in which the parents themselves 
have an unusual degree of interest. However, 
Allow for 
Shifting 196 
The Home 
interest and enthusiasm can not be transferred 
from one mind to another. They come natur- 
ally from inner desires and personal famil- 
iarity. 
There is a pre-school period of transitory 
interest which is often mistaken by parents for 
real genius. Then, there is a second spasmodic 
tendency of the kind likely to occur at about 
the beginning of the college period. In the 
choice of a school for their young high school 
son or daughter parents often commit the er- 
ror of considering the social advantages and 
the reputation of the school rather than the 
peculiar need of the young entrant. If a boy's 
genius calls for a mathematical course of some 
kind, it is certainly a serious error to send him 
to a school of journalism, for example, simply 
because such a course is popular. 
Perhaps one child in a hundred is 
a "natural-born genius"; that is, 
he manifests from the first a predisposition to 
follow some particular life course. He is a 
sort of victim of a narrow, intensive course of 
thinking. But the created type of genius, that 
is, the bright talent which may be quickened 
through intensive training and made finally to 
dominate the career-such a quality of mind 
Can Genius 
Be Created? Search for Hidden Genius 
197 
is very common among the young members of 
an ordinary household and among the pupils 
of an ordinary school. 
As a matter of fact, it is the created genius 
upon which the world depends for the great 
mass of its achievements. Parents may well 
rejoice in case they have a son or daughter 
who shows up in this interesting class. The 
talent which so stands out above the other as 
to warrant its indulgence as basis of the life 
work, may then receive the first consideration 
in training. Along with that more pronounced 
quality there may always be found sufficient 
interest in the rudiments of learning to make 
the well-balanced personality an easy accom- 
plishment. 
What we must aim at as parents is 
to inculcate within our children 
that force of character and that singleness of 
purpose which will make for general sanity. 
The individual must finally know how to move 
with the masses or else become detached and 
far less significant to the institutions which 
make up our civilization. No special case of 
genius must be thought of, therefore, as merely 
belonging to the child out of whose nature it 
springs, or to the family with which the child 
Preserve 
the Sanity 198 
The Home 
belongs. The genius of the individual, to have 
any high degree of significance, must be ac- 
counted as belonging to society. 
It is precisely this reversal of the traditional 
point of view-this idea that the genius of 
our child is to become a humble but happy 
contribution to the good of all-it is this idea 
of service which will finally contribute most 
to the integrity of the home, the school, the 
church and the other institutions which tend 
to bind together our progressive civilization. 
It is the idea of putting something into the 
common treasury of good rather than taking 
something out, which tends to exalt the office 
of parenthood and to make it seem altogether 
worthy of its necessary sacrifices. 
Rightly understanding the matter, there- 
fore, we will never feel inclined to boast of 
the conspicuous talent of our child, nor will we 
attempt to show off his brilliancy to a superior 
advantage. The child himself will soon catch 
the spirit of our higher ideal as to his possible 
contribution to the society of tomorrow and 
all will receive a due share of the honor of 
his genius. 
Parents should attend sharply to 
one matter which we have well- 
nigh overlooked in this interesting discussion; 
Is Persist- 
ence a 
Genius? Search for Hidden Genius 
199 
namely, the thought that possibly persistence 
in effort is a peculiar type of genius. "Not 
genius but hard work is the secret of my suc- 
cess." Thus we often hear it stated by a per- 
son who has already made some kind of nota- 
ble contribution to science or learning. In- 
quire carefully into his life history and you 
will probably find that he is expressing the 
full truth. That is, he began his career with 
the mental inheritance of nothing more than 
a predominant talent in the line of his present 
achievement, plus a marked tendency to re- 
main faithfully at his appointed task until 
something worth while came out of it. 
So, this cheering counsel may be offered to 
ordinary parents. If your child manifests or- 
dinary talent; and, if through diligent train- 
ing you may finally inculcate in him the habit 
of persistent application, then he is almost 
certain to reach in due time a high level of 
achievement. Again and again we have known 
the plodder type of child finally to overtake 
the; one which starts with a brilliant explosion 
of enthusiasm but which cools off or gives up 
too soon. After all, we must look to the steady, 
persistent worker to turn out the greater part 
of the mental, as well as the industrial, prod- 200 
The Home 
uct. The child who finally learns diligence 
and persistence may be considered as poten- 
tially a valuable asset of society. 
Finally, keep your child always in touch 
with common life, no matter how brilliant his 
budding genius may appear to be. Teach him 
to wear plain clothes and to get service out of 
every garment before rejecting it. Teach him 
to enjoy simple food, and to realize that what 
he puts into his body as fuel is food for the 
soul as well. Teach him to enjoy plain sur- 
roundings and inexpensive furnishings about 
the house, that he may appreciate the service- 
ableness of such things rather than the cost. 
Teach him to appreciate plain, earnest people, 
giving him the idea that it is the personality 
rather than the possessions of a man, which 
counts for most. Teach him to do his work 
with simple equipment, investing him with 
the spirit of close application and earnest ac- 
complishment. CHAPTER XII 
THE DISCOVERY OF THE SPECIALTY 
No matter whether there may be two or 
ten children in your household, each of these 
deserves to shine in a light that may be made 
to emanate from his own soul. Somewhere 
within his wide range of talents, active and 
passive; somewhere within the depths of his 
emotions, there may be found an active, crea- 
tive type of energy peculiarly his own. Try 
to discover this potential ability and put it 
to work. Try to find some small but interest- 
ing thing which each child can do just a bit 
different from the practice of all the others. 
Thus you may make use of one of the most re- 
liable secrets of an interesting home life for 
all the members of the family. 
It would be possible to make a list 
of a score of abilities to perform 
some individual act, all within the range of 
the talent, active and latent, in your children. 
Then, you could combine any two or more of 
these possible applications of the head, hand 
Many 
Talents 
Involved 
201 202 
The Home 
and heart and continue to multiply them end- 
lessly. 
In the simple matter of playing about the 
house, little children early manifest peculiar 
types of performance. The four-year old boy 
may become an adept at some acrobatic effort, 
and he should be recognized in this. The six- 
year old girl may string up a tiny harp of silk 
thread stretched between clothes pins; and for 
this she deserves your special appreciation. A 
third child may prove himself a reliable little 
caretaker of all the playthings; and he, too, 
deserves to know that you are ready to appre- 
ciate and to praise him accordingly. Another 
boy or girl may show peculiar inventive abil- 
ity in the construction of play apparatus and 
in the use of his own materials; and he most 
certainly deserves a conspicuous place in your 
mind and heart. 
So this division of interests and peculiar 
adaptations may continue endlessly within the 
management of the children of the household. 
Each one may develop his specialty in play, in 
study, in some fine art, in the performance of 
small manual duties, and the like. Thus each 
child becomes not only individualized or dis- 
tinguished from the others, but he becomes a 
self-conscious, living personality. Discovery of the Specialty 
203 
Whether it be in the class of 
amusement, fine art, industrial art, 
mental accomplishments or plain manual la- 
bor, call nothing mean or insignificant which 
one of your children is able to perform well. 
Praise every worthy accomplishment equally 
with the others. Distribute the recognition 
and the honors equally among all the young 
performers. Teach them the idea that all life 
is a sort of interesting stage and that we are all 
players upon it. 
Music and athletic performances receive 
more than their share of attention, while hand- 
icraft and invention receive far too little. The 
parent can do much to improve social justice 
here. Consider, for example, the instance of 
a certain boy mechanic who recently won pub- 
lic recognition for his performances at home. 
His parents early taught him to do all the 
small repair work, such as mending loose 
screens and broken latches. They also en- 
couraged him to invent new devices for use 
about the house. Now he does this work so 
ably as to have been recently cited for honors 
at his school. 
Another boy, twelve years of age, has in- 
vented a revolving clothes line which elicited 
the admiration of an entire neighborhood of 
Call 
Nothing 
Mean 204 
The Home 
apartment dwellers. By means of a stretch or 
ropes and from old bicycle wheels he has made 
it practicable to swing the garments from the 
back alley from the third story porch. The 
invention is good enough to patent. This same 
boy has also devised a picture hanger which 
challenges approbation. 
Still another young scout trouper has in- 
vented a light, handy stepladder for his 
mother's bedroom closets and has so made ac- 
cessible a large amount of valuable shelf room. 
Attracted by his handiwork three neighbors 
have asked him to duplicate the stepladder 
for their residences. 
Two young sisters eleven and 
thirteen years old have divided the 
home work so that each will tend to challenge 
the other for a model of excellence. They 
have each taken the responsibility of caring 
for one of the two family bed chambers. As 
a result of their conspicuous effort to brighten 
and beautify these rooms the entire house has 
been renovated, bringing added cheer and 
comfort to all the members of the household. 
Another girl, barely thirteen, is the family 
"mender." She is allowed a certain amount 
of time and freedom from other duties in 
Girls May 
Shine at 
Home Discovery of the Specialty 
205 
order to be enabled to look after this matter. 
The parents are taking unusual pride in this 
small affair, while the young daughter her- 
self is noticeably pleased with the attention 
which the simple accomplishment has brought 
her. 
A girl of sixteen is the happy creator of a 
diary. For three years with strict fidelity she 
has daily recorded something in her little 
book. Now, the parents look to her to confirm 
the dates of the occurrence of past family 
events. A matter of great admiration is no- 
ticed in the fact that the practice of keeping 
the diary is training the daughter to think as 
well as to write. 
So we might continue endlessly, 
resorting to both fact and fancy in 
the giving of a list of projects for making the 
home life of children more creditable. The 
idea is, that if a child is taught to do well 
some particular piece of work about the home, 
putting his interest and his individuality into 
the matter; and, if he also is given deserved 
praise and recognition for his achievement; 
then, the entire affair assumes the quality of a 
household virtue, a contribution to the well- 
being of the home. 
Many 
Possibilities 206 
The Home 
There is little wonder that so many chil- 
dren seem to feel no tender regard for the 
homes which give them nurture. It is because 
they have little or no part in the construction 
or arrangement of the household effects. What 
you have no part in making or creating, that 
you are not inclined to love as your own. So 
with the young members of the common fam- 
ily. They may grow to maturity within the 
confines of a home and yet be little conscious 
of what its furnishings really mean or who 
placed them there. 
It is possible to find a home task suitable for 
inspiring every boy and girl member thereof. 
Without having the advantage of a special 
schoolroom course in the subject, many a half- 
grown girl may be inspired to become a sort 
of amateur home decorator. By giving en- 
couragement to this through the expenditure 
of a very small amount of time and money the 
parent may slowly transform an entire life. No 
ordinary girl is unhappy at home so long as 
her heart and mind are invited to co-operate 
in the planning and arrangement of the fur- 
nishings thereof. Not infrequently a very 
plain appearing girl may prove to be a verita- 
ble genius in the art of home decoration, and 
this fine quality may be the one instrumental- Discovery of the Specialty 
207 
ity which serves to connect her happily with 
congenial social company. 
Test and try every youthful mem- 
ber of the family group until you 
have found something of a practical interest 
that will serve as a home enticement. It may 
be that one of your children can be easily de- 
veloped into a reliable accountant. Give him 
the items of the household budget, keep him 
in touch with the family shopping and direct 
him in a simple system of bookkeeping. By 
such means you may conserve the family in- 
come appreciably and at the same time dis- 
cover valuable human talent. 
It is especially commendable that your girl 
learn how to keep an account of the household 
expenses. While it is perhaps correct to say 
that the men of the country earn the major 
part of the salaries and wages, it is more dis- 
tinctively true that the women of the country 
spend the mass of these funds. If your girl 
learns how to conserve the small amounts 
which come into her possession you may have 
greater assurance that her home life to-be will 
prove more congenial and more easily man- 
aged. Also, it must not be forgotten that the 
woman of the household often proves to be 
The Young 
Business 
Member 208 
The Home 
more of a business genius than the man. Any 
girl who can find time to learn to think eco- 
nomically while she is young and unconcerned 
about life's serious affairs may later find more 
than one opportunity to use her business in- 
genuity. 
Fathers are today spending thou- 
sands of dollars for the repair and 
care-taking of machinery, especially the care 
of the family automobile, which should be 
attended to by some youthful member of the 
home group. Too many boys are growing 
soft and lazy from riding overmuch in autos 
while the father's pocketbook continues to 
grow lean through the expense of keeping the 
car in condition. The boy of high school age 
who knows nothing about keeping an automo- 
bile in condition should not be permitted reg- 
ularly to ride in one. If he were compelled 
to walk a few miles per day the exercise would 
improve both his mind and his muscles and 
would tend to induce him to take up the study 
of the mechanism of the auto sufficiently to 
know how to keep it in repair. 
If the father of the household is engaged in 
business wherein is used any kind of ordinary 
machinery it is usually advisable to teach the 
The Boy 
Alechanic Discovery of the Specialty 
209 
growing son to use this equipment. Put your 
boy into the shop or factory, especially during 
the vacation season, and thus give him an op- 
portunity to develop his physique and to ac- 
quire a knowledge of the details of some kind 
of machine. The average high school youth 
is too soft and negative. He is not especially 
master of anything. For him to know how to 
run a lathe, for example, is sufficient to give 
him a sense of mastery as well as an incentive 
to go on and apply himself to something else 
worth while. Every time you teach your boy 
to master some ordinary machine or to handle 
the commodities of an ordinary commercial 
establishment you enrich his personality and 
strengthen his foundation for a permanent 
career. 
It is highly commendable to teach 
every growing girl how to handle 
little children. If there is not a baby in the 
family at home, arrangements can be made 
nevertheless for her to borrow one from the 
neighbors as a sort of laboratory material. 
Even the mother of affluence and refinement 
should plan that her twelve-year old daughter 
learn the rudiments of child tending. It is 
not a matter of mere preliminary training in 
Caretaker 
for 
Children 210 
The Home 
thought of the serious duties of future mother- 
hood, which we have in mind here. It is 
rather the right of the ordinary girl to satisfy 
her instinctive desire for intimate acquaint- 
ance with the heart of childhood. For your 
girl to know how little children behave is an 
assurance that she will love them and ever 
notice their behavior, no matter what her fu- 
ture career may prove to be. To understand 
human nature, to know how it unfolds and 
grows and to appreciate the meeting of char- 
acter-this is a sort of prior right of every 
earnest young soul. 
Since the millions of mankind 
must be fed daily in order to live, 
an army of people must be engaged constantly 
in the production of their food materials. 
Teach your boy or girl to grow a home garden 
and thus accomplish a double purpose; first, 
that of reducing the expense of feeding the 
household; and, second, that of training a 
child in one of the most fundamental of in- 
dustrial disciplines. It is pathetic to see the 
helplessness of some families who live either 
on the soil or adjacent to it, and who never- 
theless go half hungry from lack of intelligent 
ability to bring nurture out of the ground. 
Food 
Production Discovery of the Specialty 
211 
There are girls whose finer nature will re- 
spond more readily to the practice of working 
in an amateur home garden than to the prac- 
tice of performing on the family piano. Any 
art proves to be a fine art if it brings fineness 
out of the soul. A small vegetable garden at 
the rear of the house with a nicely arranged 
border of flowering plants and with the heart 
of your half-grown girl happily attuned to 
the task of growing some food stuffs for the 
family table-that is a picture which might 
conceivably inspire the genius of an artist. 
Thus actuated by a sense of duty and justice 
to all, the parent must persist in his search for 
the hidden qualities in the life of the chil- 
dren. Some practical home duty must be 
found, which will help to awaken dormant 
instincts and at the same time will tend to 
bind all in a happy household unity. Not 
scoldings, admonitions or moral suasion will 
suffice to make children more fond of their 
homes, but something of an enticing nature to 
undertake; something that will give the young 
member a sense of his own value to the entire 
group-this sort of provision will contribute 
to the life more abundant of any ordinary 
member of our young family group. CHAPTER XIII 
THE QUEST OF SOCIAL EXPERIENCE 
The full significance of home life probably 
never dawns fully upon parents until their 
children arrive at the age of adolescence. Usu- 
ally it is a comparatively easy, routine affair to 
hold the family together in a working unit so 
long as the children are small and not inher- 
ently lured to outside entertainments. But the 
first disruptive or explosive effects of the 
adolescent instinct are not infrequently both 
startling and baffling to the parents to whom 
such a crisis is new. Ordinarily they believe 
that something unusual, perverse or peculiar 
is happening to their child. They are inclined 
to regard his behavior as out of line with com- 
mon standards and they often fear that public 
knowledge of his actual conduct might bring 
reproach upon their household management. 
It is an old, old story, that of the 
parent of the newly-awakened 
adolescent boy or girl secretly fearing that his 
child is running amuck. However, the sup- 
Watch for 
the New 
Awakening 
212 Quest for Social Experience 
213 
posedly "strange and terrible" behavior of 
their child is but a repetition of one of the 
most interesting dramas in the life of grow- 
ing humanity. Not merely their own, but 
every normal child behaves in like manner, at 
least during a brief period. 
What we call adolescence is an accompani- 
ment of marked organic changes within con- 
stituting the rearrangements of puberty. 
Hitherto behaving in a frank and innocent 
manner, the young boy or girl now shows a 
tendency to secrecy and shyness. There is a 
marked disinclination to remain in the com- 
pany of the parents or to seek confidential ad- 
vice from anv one within the home circle. By 
understanding that adolescence is a distinc- 
tively disintegrating force parents will be en- 
abled to get on far easier with the management 
of their youthful sons and daughters. It would 
seem that Nature's definite purpose here is to 
break up the old home life rather than to foster 
it-just as if providence had looked forward 
to the time when one family should dissolve 
and give place to others of the succeeding 
generation. 
It has been said that the parents who can 
manage their own child during the adolescent 
period are prepared for any other emergency 214 
The Home 
of home mana&unent. Almost anything ox a 
serious nature may be expected to burst out 
of the center of the young life at this peculiar 
time. In the typical case the conversations 
between parents and offspring now become 
loud and turbulent. Radical differences of age 
and interest give assurance of quite as radical 
disagreements. Sharp debates, angry disagree- 
ments and long drawn out contests for suprem- 
acy now constitute the normal order of 
events. Up to this point the parent has easily 
ruled over the conduct of the younger gen- 
eration, but now the young person himself 
comes into line for his share of experience in 
the practice of self-direction and self-govern- 
ment. The parent who pauses sufficiency will 
naturally conclude that the child is here com- 
ing into a new inherent right, the right to rule 
over his own behavior. 
Considered in the proper light, 
human nature will have its way 
and the deep human instincts will 
prevail over conduct. Instead of reguiding 
the new independent behavior of their young 
adolescents as something wanton and disrup- 
tive of the home influence parents should re- 
gard with sympathetic interests the fact that 
Human 
Nature 
Demands 
Respect Quest for Social Experience 
215 
their child is now disposed to take matters in 
his own hand. Let the awakening nature pre- 
scribe the general course of procedure. Offer 
little interference but much guidance. Look 
ahead for the ultimate purposes of the new 
urge of the young dreamer and make his next 
step toward a career interesting and charming 
to all alike-that is perhaps the ideal way for 
parents to regard the behavior of their adoles- 
cent son or daughter. 
When we look deeply into the matter we 
find that the secret dream of some kind of 
love affair is the subtle force which is now 
moving the youthful son or daughter to action. 
It is now little less than a tragedy to enforce 
the old childish order of household events 
upon the conduct of the awakened love 
dreamer. The duty of the parent, on the other 
hand, is to make out an entirely new program 
and to determine that he will enjoy every 
fresh item that may enter upon the scene. In 
the main, resistance on the part of parents is 
now futile while co-operation is potent with 
many possibilities of fine accomplishment. 
Perhaps it may be said that the first step nec- 
essary in dealing successfully with the adoles- 
cent child is to realize that there has been 
born within him a new and independent spirit 216 
The Home 
and that he is entitled to full confidence and 
respect in his efforts to take over his own self- 
management. 
As never before during his exist- 
ence, the adolescent boy or girl is 
swayed by a desire to get out among the young 
crowd, to mix and mingle with those of his 
age and to test their responses to his own be- 
havior. For the first time he is now conscious 
of being a member of the social order. Na- 
ture seems to demand that he give the first 
consideration to the responses of the other 
members of his own youthful group who, like 
himself, are conscious of moving .in a world 
filled with people. It is the age of social 
sensitiveness-of shyness, bashfulness, remorse, 
self-scrutiny and other forms of emotional in- 
terest in ones social behavior. 
Parents should recognize as a prior right 
of the young adolescent a full series of oppor- 
tunities to mingle with the crowd of young 
lovers. They should carefully plan his so- 
cial experiences to the end that he might be- 
come acquainted with every class and variety 
of worthy young personalities. It is the free- 
for-all matching of wits, jesting, laughing, and 
challenging of one another which serves best 
Learning 
the Ways of 
Life Quest for Social Experience 
217 
to enrich the young, unfolding personality 
with reliable knowledge of the manifold as- 
pects of human nature. Rightly managed love 
dreams of the adolescent do not mean that 
this new tendency will disturb the peace and 
security of the household, but rather the con- 
verse. Continue the practice of asking your 
boy or girl to report frankly his experiences 
and impressions while mingling with the 
young crowd; train your youthful son or 
daughter to come with confessions of the heart 
throbs and disappointments which may surge 
through his emotional young love life-thus 
you will not only preserve the integrity of 
your home but you will render it far more 
interesting and significant. 
The loyalty of the fifteen-year old 
belongs first to the young of his 
own grade. If parents would only start out 
with this assumption the management of the 
young love dreamer would at once be made 
easier. Recognize this peculiar inherent right 
of your child, make it plain to him that you 
desire to help him to form friendly attach- 
ments and to mingle happily with other 
youths, make him understand that you will 
always deal constructively with his peculiar 
Honor the 
Loyalty of 
Youth 218 
The Home 
point of view-this is the only safe and sane 
method of maintaining intimate relations with 
the fifteen-year old. 
In proportion as you recognize the prior 
right of youth to be loyal to the young crowd, 
you may expect to win his affections and good 
will. Such an exchange of favors makes as- 
surance that your young son or daughter will 
remain sufficiently attached to the home influ- 
ences for purposes of his guidance toward a 
happy career. Nature now demands that the 
young individual be recognized as an inde- 
pendent personality, as having ideals and pur- 
poses of his own. The day of stern authority 
and strict obedience is past, while the age of 
reason and argument has begun. The very 
fact that you recognize the right of your child 
to explain his own point of view tends to chal- 
lenge him to take over his own management 
and to make the best possible advancement to- 
ward a career. 
The parent who manages his child in the 
manner suggested above, who will admonish 
and argue but always recognize the point of 
view of the young member, who will be care- 
ful never to destroy confidential relation-the 
parent who will thus maneuver with his youth- Quest for Social Experience 
219 
ful son or daughter may expect far-reaching 
results. The affection and devotion of the 
child will increase with the years. The home 
in which he acquired such a valuable lesson 
will become more and more the center of a 
sacred memory. 
Under proper conditions the home 
is a center of advice and direction 
for the youth who is setting out in quest of his 
first social experience. No other institution 
can foster the mating interests of the young to 
such marked advantage. What is needed for 
the time being is an opportunity for a liberal 
amount of blundering and for much trial and 
correction. If the situation is a normal one 
the "green" youth will make his share of so- 
cial blunders. Frequently he will return home 
grieved, perplexed or despondent over some 
bit of his own social conduct which appears 
just now to him to have been a serious mistake. 
He said the wrong thing, wore the wrong 
thing or somehow made what he calls a 
"break." As a consequence he is under deep 
self-condemnation and he needs a confident 
to whom he may pour out his exaggerated tale 
of woe and become reassured. The father or 
mother-or, better were it both of these- 
Learning 
the Ways of 
Society 220 
The Home 
should now step in and give sympathetic 
counsel. 
If arrangements are what they should be, 
the young social aspirant should scarcely know 
when he begins in any formal way to keep 
company with those of the opposite sex. His 
first act in the drama of love-making should 
be constituted of the informal give-and-take 
which may be observed at any intermission 
period of the ordinary high school. Here you 
find him participating in the conversations, 
contributing his share of the fun and nonsense, 
while he perhaps watches furtively a certain 
young member of the group who secretly 
means more to him than the sum total of all 
the others. Occasionally you will observe him 
to stop for a blushing remark to this attractive 
young friend; but, with a tendency to imagine 
that all eyes are watching he will usually pass 
quickly on his way. 
So the home-observed and home-directed 
program of social experience for the youth- 
ful son or daughter will continue bit by bit 
until the emotional young life at length ac- 
quires full self-management. Shyness and 
timidity should be worn away by degrees. The 
bashfulness of the young lover is a valuable Quest for Social Experience 
221 
asset. It stirs the emotions, exaggerates dif- 
ficulties, sends its victims back frequently for 
wise counsel and turns the mind toward self- 
accusation and self-improvement. Someone 
has well said that a voung person can not be 
induced to take up the management of his own 
career until he becomes deeplv involved in a 
love affair; and then vou can not prevent him 
from doing so. The temnorarv self-debase- 
ment of the young lover is one of Nature's 
greatest devices for initiating struggle and for 
compelling self-reformation. Parents may 
expect their vouthful son or daughter to come 
home frequentlv weighted with a load of 
desnondencv and perhans showing much 
hatred and disgust toward theirself. The one 
easy and reliable cure for such a dark view of 
life is through favorable comparison. Typi- 
cally, the child states his case by describing 
and exaggerating his weakness or failure. 
Your method of relief is the converse; that is, 
you immediatelv and emnhaticallv itemize his 
strong points and his virtues, showing how fa- 
vorablv they compare with the other young 
of his group. He enumerates his losses you 
emphasize his gains. And shortly the cloud of 
despondency is lifted. 222 
The Home 
The Choice 
of Social 
Companions 
Through a knowledge of the mind 
and the normal interests of youth, 
the parents may exert an increasing influence 
over the choice of social mates for their young. 
The constructive plan is never to denounce or 
to reject any real or potential friend of your 
boy or girl, but rather to create in the young 
mind a set of ideals which will tend to take 
care of the individual case. For illustration, 
if your girl appears to be taking up with a 
seemingly worthless young man, you will not 
help the matter through the use of denuncia- 
tions and "ultimatums." If you offer positive 
objections to the new-formed friendship, or 
cast direct slurs upon the one whom you would 
have rejected, a reaction precisely the oppo- 
site from the one desired is likely to obtain. 
The two will review their mutual problems 
together, will condole with each other and will 
naturally join in an effort to defeat your wishes 
concerning them. 
The indirect method of exerting a subtle 
influence over the mind of your youthful love 
dreamer is the only one which promises posi- 
tive results. To return to the instance of the 
objectionable young visitor, instead of con- 
demning him outright you first speak a word 
of abstract approval of his personality and Quest for Social Experience 
223 
then you proceed to exaggerate his objection- 
able qualities. If you can show truthfully 
that other members of the young society like- 
wise disapprove of him you will gradually 
win your case. As a rule a sixteen-year old 
will take a secret pleasure in keeping company 
with the one to whom his parent offers abrupt 
objections, but he will quickly give up his 
intimate friendship for the one who is dis- 
approved by the public opinion of his youth- 
ful companions. 
Conversely, the young person is always 
anxious to keep company with one of the op- 
posite sex who is popular with the members 
of the entire group. The parents can accom- 
plish not a little by wav of turning the mind 
of a young son or daughter toward a desirable 
social friendship, provided they will exercise 
patience in the matter of indirect management 
of the case, as was described above. They 
will minimize the points of least attractive- 
ness in the character of the one under consid- 
eration and will center the attention upon the 
virtues and more desirable qualities. They 
will especially seek to report as much as pos- 
sible bv wav of favorable public opinion of 
the ideal voung desirable candidate for the 
love friendship of their son or daughter. C. Underwood & Underwood 
LET THEM PLAY TOGETHER 
224 Quest for Social Experience 
225 
Teach Your 
Girl to 
Know Boys 
Again, it is urged that the home 
must be thought of as an institu- 
tion of learning for the youthful members 
now participating in the first stages of their 
social quest. Teach your girl to know boys, 
but do not expect her to acquire such valuable 
knowledge in the course of a few lessons. 
Every household should continue to serve as 
a sort of home forum, especially for the dis- 
cussions of the topics which are dearest to 
the hearts of the young members. So, when 
the mating instinct becomes dominant in the 
life of your boy or girl its quest should serve 
as the center of discussion. Every youthful 
acquaintance of the family should be con- 
sidered in the course of the home conversa- 
tions, and during this give-and-take affair the 
informed parent will interject many a remark 
intended to hit a certain spot in the mind of 
the youthful learner. Without knowing the 
reason or the source thereof your sixteen-year 
olds will thus derive what appear to be their 
own opinions about the young crowd with 
whose members they are daily associating. 
Through continuance of this subtle method 
of home conversation the parent may gradu- 
ally influence both the opinion and the social 226 
The Home 
conduct of the youthful child to the full ex- 
tent of his right to do so. However, a word 
of caution is advisable here. Fundamentally, 
it is the young person and not the parent who 
must choose the social companion intended at 
length suitably to become a life companion. 
Peculiarities of taste and temperament must 
have full respect here. There are reasons 
why such small matters as physical conforma- 
tion or complexion should weigh heavily in 
the opinion of the young lover. Wherefore, 
we must show due respect to what might seem 
trivial from our own point of view. 
The fact that your youthful son 
suddenly becomes interested in 
girls does not signify that he knows a great 
deal about such interesting young creatures. 
The participation of the parent in this new 
affair of youth is quite as fundamentally a 
home problem as is any topic of class room 
instruction. Your boy will become informed 
on the girl question in practically the same 
manner as will be required for him to master 
his history or any other standard subject of 
study. That is, he must observe, investigate, 
perform some laboratory work and make a 
considerable number of "intelligence tests" 
Teach Your 
Boy to 
Know Girls Quest for Social Experience 
227 
of a certain character, before he becomes able 
to make a wise judgment. 
Similarly as was recommended above for 
the girl, it is advisable to manage the persist- 
ent mating instinct of the boy. The early love 
quest of the ordinary youth tends to be a 
rather savage or barbarous affair, with the 
gratification of animal desires as the dominant 
motive. The home instruction of youth can 
here accomplish a valuable purpose only in 
case there be thrown into the theme a consid- 
erable amount of the ideals of romance and 
chivalry. Seek to have your son derive out of 
the discussions in the home the best available 
answers for such questions as these: What is 
the real meaning of girl life? Why should a 
young man assume toward all young women 
the attitude of a protector rather than a de- 
spoiler? What is an ideal young woman-her 
characteristics and her attitude toward the 
common duties of life? May a young man 
so act in the presence of young women as to 
inspire them to do and to be their best? On 
account of their being regarded as potentially 
the mothers of a new generation, in what par- 
ticular ways may a young man defer to the 
interests and the temperaments of the girls 
with whom he associates? Finally, what qual- 228 
The Home 
ities of health, of mind, of morals and of gen- 
eral disposition should be combined in the per- 
sonality of the most commendable of young 
women? 
The slow progress of their youth- 
ful son or daughter toward the day 
of a happy marriage should be regarded by 
the ordinary parent as a problem of unusual 
interest and profit for all concerned. We must 
insist upon the idea that the home is not con- 
fined merely within a dwelling, that the home 
life is not a mere fixed existence but rather a 
developing project, that even the ideal home 
does not long remain such unless every mem- 
ber thereof continues to do his part. Where- 
fore, it is advisable that the purpose of an 
ultimate marriage on the part of the younger 
member of the family group should be re- 
garded constantly as a highly important topic 
for household consideration. The best in- 
formed among us knows all too little about 
the difficult problem of happy married exist- 
ence. So, any little that the least of us may 
contribute to the final solution of the matter 
should be highly acceptable. 
There are several high points to be consid- 
ered in the matter of estimating the worth of 
Looking 
Toward 
Marriage Quest for Social Experience 
229 
a young personality. Not the least of these 
is the economic status. We judge a young man 
economically not so much by what he possesses 
as by the personal equipment which in time 
to come should prove to be the measure of his 
ability to acquire wealth and to use it con- 
structively. Usually, it may be said that a 
young man who has little by way of money 
inheritance and much by way of willingness 
to earn his own way in the world-usually, 
it is the ability to produce and to acquire pos- 
session rather than the mere fact of property 
ownership, which fittingly measures the man. 
As a usual thing it is wasteful for parents 
to shower rich possessions upon their newly- 
married sons and daughters. You can give a 
child wealth only in the proportion that he is 
able to manage and produce the same thing; 
and then, perhaps he will actually need very 
little free bounty from your hand. It is a 
matter of prime importance for parents to 
train their young early in the principles of 
thrift and business enterprise. Then, when 
marriage of a son or daughter is contemplated, 
the matter presents new aspects and should 
have the benefit of an entire new series of 
definitions. 230 
The Home 
Finally, to conclude the chapter, let us keep 
before us the significance of ideals. The right 
idea about the thing in the mind of a young 
person tends to the creation of the thing. 
Ideals, if referred to definite ideas, especially 
become potential in achievements. Teach 
your youthful child to visualize clearly what 
were good for his own conduct, what should 
constitute the character of the one worthy to 
be his life mate, what he and his permanent 
companion should do in order to become more 
worthy of each other, what standards of thrift, 
honesty, industry, ethics and religious behav- 
ior should be woven into the daily conduct- 
teach your son or daughter definitely to think 
of these important matters and he will slowly 
realize their value in his personal character. 
Thus, to a higher degree than has hitherto 
been defined we may make the home a school 
of instruction and inspiration for the youth- 
ful members thereof. CHAPTER XIV 
THE SLOW NORMAL DEVELOPMENT 
Man has never yet understood how many 
years of existence on the earth should be con- 
sidered as the natural span of life. Through 
intelligent care of the health and the morals 
we are slowly lengthening the common aver- 
age. Disease and early decay are probably 
both indicative of our ignorance and neglect 
rather than any inherent race weakness. Some 
have urged that we change our ideas about 
the traditional three score years and ten and 
that we should plan to live at least a century 
of time. One prominent lecturer recently 
stated publicly that we really have an inherent 
mechanism warranting the claim of one hun- 
dred and fifty years as the normal life epoch. 
The complete functions and the 
inter-relations of the nerves within 
the human body have never yet been com- 
pletely understood. But of one thing we are 
reasonably assured, namely, that there is al- 
lotted to each one a relatively long period of 
Unexplored 
Nerve 
Centers 
231 232 
The Home 
elasticity. It will greatly assist parents in the 
solution of their home training problems if 
they will but regard slowness of development 
as being a matter of credit rather than one of 
demerit. As we go down the scale of animal 
life, beginning with man, we finally come to 
species which learn practically nothing dur- 
ing existence. These live by instinct and not 
by intelligence. Even animals as bright and 
active as guinea pigs have a very brief period 
of infancy; that is, they can be taught very 
little. White rats, for example, are higher in 
the intelligence scale and are able to learn not 
a few tricks during the period of physical 
growth. Baby monkies can be trained during 
a longer period. 
But it is the human infant which seems to 
be entirely in a class to himself in the matter 
of a remarkably long period of infancy and 
a corresponding one of educability. The ear- 
lier authors on social science designated 
twenty years as the time during which the hu- 
man nervous system remains plastic and open 
to the acceptance of new modes of conduct and 
new ideas. However, a new interpretation of 
the matter is now rapidlv becoming current, 
namely, that the period of human infancy may 
be extended indefinitely. We grow old, be- Slow Normal Development 
233 
come victims of routine habit, not because of 
an inherent tendency to cease learning but be- 
cause of an inherent tendency to cease trying 
to learn. 
The main issue here under con- 
sideration is to determine the rela- 
tive value of the slow unfoldment of the char- 
acter of the young, and then to decide whether 
or not it is practicable to seek to extend the 
period of education of the individual to an 
indefinite limit. Our implied decision has 
already been in effect that the slow unfoldment 
of the human personality is a matter very 
much to be desired, and that it is indeed ad- 
visable to hold up the ideal of indefinite youth, 
of the mind if not of the body. 
Beyond a doubt, the mind grows and is kept 
young and virile through its use of new ideas, 
and it grows old and decrepit from habits of 
nonuse or thinking in a rut. The home train- 
ing duties of parents here assume new and 
more cheering aspects. Tf the foregoing posi- 
tion is correct, then, to hurry the child for- 
ward upon his course of learning becomes a 
more serious error than traditional belief has 
made it. One interesting aspect of the theory 
of perennial youth is that of bringing rich 
Is Old Age a 
Delusion? 234 
The Home 
variety and frequent change into the daily con- 
sciousness of the young learner. The implied 
argument here is that we should teach a child 
to participate in all the standard types of hu- 
man behavior, even though but a brief period 
may be given to each. For, to do so, is to lay 
a broader foundation for the endless spon- 
taneity of thought assumed above as necessary. 
We have had ample evidence of the fact that 
the child exploited by industry and denied the 
advantages of schooling, is quick to grow old 
both in body and mind. Also, we have living 
testimonials of the fact that to school the in- 
dividual deeply and widely is to extend his 
freshness of thought and his grasp of the 
world's progress accordingly. It may seem a 
foolish suggestion but an increasing number of 
intelligent men and women now contend that 
the very thought of growing old is an errone- 
ous race belief which can and should be done 
away with. It need not be said that the gen- 
eral acceptance of such a theory would bring 
profound changes in our general plan of edu- 
cation. For example, one important problem 
should be that of preparing for continuous 
youth rather than preparing for old age, re- 
tirement, or decrepitude. Slow Normal Development 
235 
However, it is not the purpose here to dis- 
cuss the general philosophy of education but 
rather to outline some matters that can be suc- 
cessfully undertaken by busy parents in their 
efforts to train children in the home. Coming 
more directly to the point, therefore, it may be 
urged that slow going and blundering youth- 
ful training signifies a relatively long period 
of education and relatively high achievement 
in the end. Parents must learn to forget the 
short-sighted purpose of training their young 
for quick results while the major effort may be 
devoted to the laying out of broad lines of 
experience. The strong and powerful per- 
sonality is an achievement of many years of 
wide experimentation with practical human 
affairs. 
The full nature requires many 
years for its out-blossoming. Prob- 
ably the most intelligent of human beings 
comes far short of making use of all the larger 
possibilities of learning latent within him. 
Then, when we consider the situation of the 
masses, it may be assumed that the vast ma- 
jority grow old and pass out of existence with- 
out realizing more than a small percentage of 
their latent capacities. What talents to train 
Interests 
Awaken 
Unevenly 236 
The Home 
and what ones to leave unused; when to re- 
gard a given interest as being at its best and 
how to exploit it while at the point of maxi- 
mum emotional desire-these are practical 
questions for all thoughtful parents. Some 
children launch themselves in the world of 
knowledge chiefly through the sense of sight; 
others learn most clearly through the sense of 
hearing; still others show a superior intelli- 
gence when dealing first hand with material 
things; then, a few are at their best in the prac- 
tice of abstract thinking and memory. The 
use of the senses, the judgment and the imag- 
ination; the use of the hand, the entire body 
or the pure intelligence-any of these modes of 
activity may predominate briefly during the 
early learning period. 
One of your children may show early a pre- 
disposition to memorize readily and to recite 
his lesson texts most ably, while another may 
show dullness or retardation in these matters. 
But the second child may easily excel the first 
in the use of his hands. He may perform his 
work better and more willingly, may show a 
strong aptitude for invention and manufacture, 
and may far surpass his older brother in the 
management of his small business affairs. Slow Normal Development 
237 
Now, it is an error to believe that one of these 
children is normal and the other abnormal or 
unusual. It is also an error to assume that one 
of these two is necessarily brighter than the 
other. They are merely different, their bright- 
ness manifesting itself in somewhat opposite 
directions. 
Somehow, the original public school started 
us off wrong in its idea of what constitutes 
smartness or high intelligence in the schooling 
of our young, and we have shown a tendency 
to preserve the error. The earliest school was 
instituted for a few select young men who gave 
unusual promise of intelligence, and who were 
educated for the purpose of themselves be- 
coming intellectual and spiritual leaders. 
They belonged to the ministerial class, and 
their schooling consisted entirely in mental 
discipline. Thus the idea became current that 
educated men were those who could best use 
their minds while uneducated men were those 
who could use only their hands. However, 
some of us now realize that the man of mere 
intellectual learning may nevertheless be a 
very ignorant individual in matters lying out- 
side his special course. Also, we have come to 
understand that a high degree of manual or in- 238 
The Home 
dustrial skill, together with a moderate 
amount of intellectual training, may render 
one worthy of a place of highest rank in com- 
mon society. 
Why not have more parents will- 
ing to abandon the tradition that 
a worthy degree of learning must be confined 
to a mastery of text books? Why can not 
many become reconciled to the idea of giving 
to society learned plowmen, plumbers, potato 
growers and other high-grade individuals of 
the industrial type of classification? A re- 
port just now being given wide publicity and 
based on statistical research, contains the 
statement that not to exceed one-tenth of the 
population are inherently fitted to pursue a 
college course. With equal fairness it may be 
inserted that a smaller percentage of the most 
intelligent grades are inherently fitted to be- 
come successful farmers. There is nothing 
the matter with human nature. The trouble is 
with the traditional college course. It has 
never been made general. In only a few scat- 
tering instances has there ever been made a 
really honest attempt to make the collge serve 
the inherent dispositions of all the intelligent 
classes. The college has always been readiest 
Why Not 
Abandon 
Tradition Slow Normal Development 
239 
to serve the sensory types and slowest to serve 
the motory types. We have spent a thousand 
dollars for the advanced instruction of lawyers 
where we have spent ten for the advanced in- 
structions of plumbers. Yet, the country needs 
more plumbers than it does lawyers. 
Parents can do much for the cause of gen- 
eral education in the course of home manage- 
ment of their young by insisting that each and 
every child be developed in accordance with 
his more pronounced predispositions. Some- 
one must contend for equal rights to all and 
special privileges to none in the making of 
public school courses of study. Someone must 
defend the boy who shows a distinctive lead in 
the direction of handicraft or common indus- 
trial performance. Someone must come to 
the defense of the girl who spurns the classical 
instruction and the mental gymnastics of 
printed texts but who manifests a deep inter- 
est in some line of practical household work, 
fine art, or what not. We should be entirely 
satisfied to have all of our children pursue the 
same general course in the rudiments. All 
should learn to read, to write, to make simple 
business calculations, to know a brief outline 
of general history, to know the main points of 
geography and to know the fundamentals of The Home 
240 
civics and government. All of this common 
knowledge can be sufficiently imparted to 
growing children by the time they have com- 
pleted the seventh grade, or the eighth grade 
at the latest. 
To complete the brief academic course as 
outlined above, and that with mediocre per- 
centage grades to his credit, is a sufficient foun- 
dation for an advanced education in any line. 
After that the young learner should be guided 
slowly in the direction of his dominant in- 
terest. The advanced course should offer him 
every possible assistance, but it should not be 
partial to him simply because he desires to 
enter one of the so-called learned professions. 
It is cheering to know that we are making slow 
progress toward this broader course of educa- 
tion and this ideal of rendering equal service 
alike to all ordinary types of disposition. If 
we continue the matter long enough we shall 
indeed have plumbers and plowmen who rank 
with preachers and professors in the class of 
high intelligence and gentility. 
One of the chief dangers of over- 
speeding children during the ef- 
fort to master the traditional school course is 
that of repressing desires which are potent in 
Repression 
of Childhood 
Desires Slow Normal Development 
241 
some kind of valuable attainment. For ex- 
ample, the desire of a small boy to manipulate 
the soil, to propagate plant growth, and to 
manage a miniature garden may be easily 
pushed aside by the heavy pressure of the tra- 
ditional textbook course. If we hurry such 
a child along, denying his interest in the soil 
its right to expression, then, probably the de- 
sire will become dormant, never again to be 
awakened. Then, a small girl may show the 
same degree of predisposition to, say, some- 
kind of needle art. Probably to indulge this 
childish interest to the point of ease and ac- 
curacy of expression will mean more for the 
future happiness of its possessor than any 
amount of instruction in the lesson texts. 
However, our usual method is to hurry such 
a child off to her schoolroom discipline and 
to push into the background her strong desire 
for the industrial art practice. Thus another 
instinct is perhaps hidden for all time. 
Here again is the instance of a boy who per- 
sists in a sort of bookkeeping system of his 
own. At four years of age he is often seen 
sitting at the window, counting people as they 
pass, classifying them and otherwise showing 
a tendency toward the genius type of account- 
ant. Once more, snatch the child away from 242 
The Home 
his hobby-perhaps the sure indication of high 
accomplishment-and smother his unique de- 
sire with the same old repressive course of 
school discipline. Recently there was out- 
lined by a speaker the biography of a man who 
passed away in middle life permanently dis- 
appointed, but who left a final statement in 
effect that during boyhood he had been cheated 
out of his heart's desire and forced into an 
uninteresting career. This boy's early dream 
was to become a finished crayon artist. He 
wished to spend all of his spare time in his 
room drawing and sketching, but his father 
would not have it so. The child was scolded 
and roughly treated because of his disinclina- 
tion to hurry through the traditional course of 
training. He was forced along in the old way 
but resisted every step, finally growing em- 
bittered at the injustice of it all. Now, much 
of the present-day cursing of society; much 
of the gnashing of teeth and groaning because 
of the world's unkindness; much of the failure, 
despair and criminal behavior which marks 
this age as one of extreme dissoluteness-much 
of all this misery may be traced back to some 
point in the period of childhood when a per- 
sistent desire was repressed and where future 
well-being received its knockout blow. Slow Normal Development 
243 
Following childhood comes the 
stormy period of youth. Parents, 
in their effort to administer the 
home discipline of their children, are still 
coming wide of the mark in the matter of 
dealing fairly and justly with the emotional 
desires of youth. They are still attempting 
to suppress, to hinder or to pervert the love- 
making emotions of their youthful children- 
most commonly by offering some kind of ar- 
tificial substitute. You can not successfully 
traffic and trade with the soul's deep-seated 
desires. To offer a sixteen-year old money and 
other material possessions, or to heap around 
him all the books in the best of libraries is 
not even the beginning of a substitute for the 
expression of his youthful emotions as they 
normally grow out of his associations with the 
other members of his young society. If love 
dies at this age, all is lost. Parents may de- 
ceive themselves for the time being with the 
thought that they are really defeating the 
deeper purposes hid within the emotional 
young human nature; but sooner or later some 
violence or some agony must be the price paid 
for their folly. 
Many a man hates the world today because 
he was cheated out of the expression of his 
Mistreat= 
ment of 
Youthful 
Emotions 244 
The Home 
emotional desires during the period of his 
youth. Many a woman is filled with bitter- 
ness and hatred today, not knowing that her 
wretchedness had its beginning in the suppres- 
sions and perversions thrown in the way of a 
normal emotional expression during the 'teen 
years. So the world goes on with its round of 
turmoil and agony and human wreckage, but 
the groans and bitterness of our common ex- 
istence might have been prevented in the main 
could our parents have understood better how 
to permit our youthful emotions to work them- 
selves out through trial and correction to a 
reasonable degree of healthy satisfaction. But 
the old-fashioned parents would have none of 
this, and the newer generation of parents are 
themselves all too slow to appreciate the value 
of youthful behavior as guided by youthful 
emotions. 
"It might have been otherwise." 
This expression, often heard, im- 
plies far more than it expresses in words. Our 
ambition to have a child shine in some line of 
work for which he has no predominant in- 
terest; our desire to become quickly relieved 
of the expense and responsibility of training 
him; our purpose to shove him to the top of 
The Blight 
of Early 
Ambition Slow Normal Development 
245 
the list where he may more easily exploit his 
fellows-this sort of short-sighted and mis- 
guided scheme of home training has started 
many a budding young ambition toward a 
false goal and certain failure. 
Excepting in the case of the very pro- 
nounced genius-and he must always be ac- 
cepted as a very one-sided personality-the 
masterful mind is the one which has derived 
its resource and strength through a long, tedi- 
ous period of growth and soul nurture. The 
ideal which we might well offer to parents, 
as a conclusion for the chapter, is that of will- 
ingness to see their child proceed slowly but 
sanely toward a goal of accomplishment which 
is never to be reached. It is not to arrive at 
some point but to keep advancing; it is not 
to derive any final knowledge but to continue 
in the acquisition of new knowledge; it is not 
to arrive at any given age of quiet and undis- 
turbed possession of a certain amount of mate- 
rial wealth, but to continue both in the pro- 
duction of wealth and in the management 
thereof for the good of society-this may per- 
haps be stated as the ideal of home manage- 
ment of our boys and girls. CHAPTER XV 
THE BASIS OF THRIFT AND ENTERPRISE 
The home is especially the most reliable in- 
stitution for teaching the young to practice 
thrift and business enterprise. However, we 
must realize from the first that these matters 
are to be taught rather than caught. It is 
practicable, through the use of common-sense 
methods to teach your boy or girl the mastery 
of the essentials of business success, and that 
without scarcely making reference to the fact 
that he is pursuing such a course. The par- 
ent is to do the thinking and planning and the 
child is to do the acting. A set of thrift hab- 
its, the permanent possession of a lifetime, is 
here the reasonable goal of training. 
First of all, teach your child how 
to earn money. Explain to him 
the manner in which money and property are 
created; that is, through the productive la- 
bors of the masses. Ask him to look at his 
own hand and thoughtfullv question its ability 
to do some little thing that is worth paying for. 
Learning' to 
Earn 
246 Basis of Thrift and Enterprise 
247 
After your child has explained to you how val- 
uable and reliable his hand is, and how it may 
be trusted to do things as the mind may direct; 
then, challenge with a request that the child 
produce the evidence of his claimed ability. 
Assign him a reasonable task, an errand or a 
household appointment which he can be ex- 
pected to carry out, and see that he makes 
good with the undertaking. After the duty 
is finished hand the young performer a reason- 
able sum of money in payment therefor. 
The point which needs emphasis here is the 
matter of teaching your child that he possesses 
within his own being the power and the capac- 
ity for earning money and for producing 
wealth. Do not be satisfied with merely a 
single illustration of your point. Continue to 
assign duties, allowing for a wide range of 
variety, while you also continue to reward 
him with a suitable recompense. A business- 
like method would be that of making a pencil 
list of all the available duties which might 
conceivably be assigned to your boy or girl 
as practice material for the purpose here at 
hand. The possibilities of one's own life must 
come normally through personal discovery. 
Your child will never quite understand that he 
can hoe the garden, carry in the coal, cart away 248 
The Home 
the trash, sweep out the room, make up the 
beds, prepare a simple meal, or what not- 
your child will never understand how easily 
and how joyously he can perform these simple 
duties until he has actually done so through 
the practice of his own hand. 
Think what a relief it will be when your 
growing child finally discovers that all the 
necessary energy of producing the money and 
the other possessions desired by him, are hid- 
den within his own being. Yet, that is pre- 
cisely the conscious situation at which your 
child must arrive before he has taken the first 
reliable step toward successful business enter- 
prise. Your boy or girl must learn to earn. 
This child of yours must know how to organ- 
ize and direct his physical energy with the 
purpose of its becoming productive. In short, 
he must understand that the source of all 
wealth is resident within our common nature, 
and that all individual wealth must of neces- 
sity be evolved out of the applications of one's 
mind and hand to some kind of worthy per- 
formance. 
In the assignment of home duties 
to the child, with the idea that he 
must learn to earn, there is always a possibility 
The Child is 
the 
Standard Basis of Thrift and Enterprise 
249 
of perverted effort. While the young learner 
is held to the task of earning money, the aim 
is not the production of goods or wealth but 
the production of character. No matter what 
the age of your child, so long as he is imma- 
ture in body and mind, the assignment of an 
industrial duty should always have reference 
to the demands of his personality rather than 
to the demands of material or economic in- 
crease. How many hours per day or per week 
should your child work? To what degree of 
fatigue should you hold him at his task? How 
may he be adjusted to each appointment so 
that the mind will intelligently guide the 
hand? In short, how may the work assigned 
to your child be strictly subordinated to his 
increased pleasure and self-supremacy. 
To overpay the child for the work he does is 
quite as objectionable as to underpay him. 
Sooner or later the world is going to deal with 
him in its rather cold business way and in ac- 
cordance with its strict business ethic. It will 
aim to give him what he earns, no more and no 
less. Then, why not introduce your child from 
the beginning to the situations of industry and 
business practice which he must meet in the 
end. Pay him a dime for a dime's worth of 
work, and a dollar for a dollar's worth. The 250 
The Home 
extra reward which your generous purpose 
may desire for him may be accorded through 
arrangement of his assigned tasks rather than 
through payment of an excessive sum for their 
performance. At least, before you can afford 
to be generous to your child in payment for his 
industrial performances, he must learn to be 
just in the fulfillment of the work assigned. 
It is a fault of training and not of human 
nature that so many adults tend to regard man- 
ual labor as degrading and the industrial pro- 
duction of wealth as an assignment suitable 
only for underlings. The groans and the agony 
of many of those about us who live constantly 
beyond their means may be traced to the oc- 
casions of their childhood and youth when 
there was a failure to accord them their de- 
served industrial discipline. Manual labor is 
a joy to the man or woman of healthy mind 
and body, the one who has early been taught 
mastery over the plain industrial requirements 
of normal childhood. Work is not mean or 
degrading; manual labor is not drudgery or 
distressful in its effects, except as by early fault 
we have been taught to regard it so. It is more 
nearly the truth to sav that work well mas- 
tered possesses a remarkable toning, cheering 
and recreative effect. Basis of Thrift and Enterprise 
251 
It is quite as necessary that the 
home instruction of children in 
matters of thrift include definite lessons in 
spending as well as definite practice in earn- 
ing. In the typical, badly managed instance, 
the child is merely taught to beg for the money 
he desires in order that he may hurry away to 
some shop or store and exchange it for a co- 
veted object. Under such conditions the ideas 
outlined above-in regard to the actual pro- 
duction of money values through expressed 
human energy-under the ill-balanced method 
here stated the child entirely overlooks pro- 
duction and over-emphasizes consumption. 
The usual method of teaching children to 
spend money is degrading to the personal char- 
acter and disruptive of the better things in a 
well-ordered society. Unfortunately the habit 
of profligacy is learned quite as readily as 
thrift. 
Therefore, parents will appreciate the ne- 
cessity of imparting the home instruction in 
regard to spending item by item, precisely as 
any other valuable lesson is taught. After 
vour child has earned his first dime by the 
sweat of his own little brow you may send him 
to the shop to try his skill at intelligent in- 
vestment. Before he starts upon the project, 
Learning to 
Spend 252 
The Home 
however, you will find it advisable to have him 
visualize in advance the definite purpose in- 
tended, including the object to be secured. 
Not only children but many adults "lose their 
head" whenever they step into a mercantile 
establishment displaying many attractive ob- 
jects. These are led by impulse to purchase, 
not what they intended to obtain but what an 
unmanaged desire lures them to obtain. 
Too much care can scarcely be exercised in 
the foregoing matter of setting up the child's 
inner defenses against the practices of the 
loose spender. The boy who explains to you 
in advance what he purposes to secure at the 
store, how much he is going to pay for it and 
what he is going to do with it, that boy al- 
ready has within him the elements of the suc- 
cessful financier. Likewise, the girl who pro- 
ceeds to the mercantile shop with her limited 
purse in hand and with a definite list of mate- 
rials to be purchased and prices to be paid; 
that girl would make a suitable running mate 
for the bov referred to immediately above. 
Th is method of pre-visualization of the in- 
vestment is perhaps one of the most reliable 
secrets of successful business enterprise. It is 
a depressing reflection upon our negligence of 
child training, however, to witness-as we Basis of Thrift and Enterprise 
253 
often must do-the many about us who show 
evidence of the habits of the chronic spend- 
thrift. Business failure, chronic anxiety, dread 
of the future, and an endless variety of other 
forms of soul anguish are among the rewards 
that lie along the future way of all of the 
young class of profligates. 
The more definitely your child learns how 
to spend his dimes, the more readily he will 
know how to spend his dollars. In fact, it is 
the reasonable use of his pennies, nickles and 
dimes which lays adequately the foundation 
for his future success in business. Although 
the spoiled child will whine and complain 
when at first you exact from him a reasonable 
use of his spending money, he will in time 
learn to acquire as much pleasure out of com- 
mon sense spending as he will derive from 
almost any of the happy pastimes of child- 
hood. It is a rule that we enjoy doing any 
commendable thing which we learn to do well. 
So with the spending of one's earnings. 
The third foundation stone of suc- 
cessful business enterprise is sav- 
ing. And, again the home school of instruc- 
tion must be called into service. Saving is 
another specialized department of juvenile 
Learning to 
Save 254 
The Home 
learning. The boy who can spend two or three 
hours among the stores and sweet shops and 
finally return home with a dime in his pocket 
thereby gives evidence of the promising man 
of successful business enterprise. The sug- 
gestions given above with reference to spend- 
ing may be applied in some measure to the 
related problem of saving. The saving of 
money or the conservation of one's wealth is, 
first of all, a mental achievement. If you will 
teach a boy to save in thought or in vision you 
will experience little difficulty in teaching him 
to save in pocket or in purse. The thought is 
the father of the deed. 
Here we have arrived at a point in our dis- 
cussion which perhaps needs more than usual 
emphasis if not an extra amount of amplifica- 
tion. The concluding statement immediately 
above expresses an idea which suggests that 
the discipline of the child may lie fundamen- 
tally in the domain of mind rather than in 
the domain of matter. At least, it will be 
agreed that merely to compel a child to save 
a part of his money while he desires to spend 
it and earnestly wishes he were free to do so- 
to compel such performance through stern re- 
quests is little more than a bare formality and 
is not worthy of the name of discipline. It Basis of Thrift and Enterprise 
255 
is far from being genuine instruction. The 
deeper problem is to invest in the mind of the 
young learner, first, the desire to save; and, 
second, the vision of saving. Once that two- 
fold lesson is mastered we may feel justified in 
turning our child loose in society with a rea- 
sonable amount of his own self-earned money 
in his personal possession. 
But the saving of money on the part of chil- 
dren implies a method of its further use; that 
is, a method of investment. There are many 
devices now serving acceptably for this pur- 
pose, like the penny savings bank and the 
school savings system. But in either case the 
overhead management of the affair rests with 
the parents. They must start their child upon 
a method of saving and keep him going until 
he has become confirmed in the practice and 
is fond of it. They must manage his baby 
bank for the time being, must later help him 
to open an account in the savings bank, and 
must teach him how to invest his savings in 
some kind of productive securities. Usually 
it is an interesting shock to the mind of the 
child at the moment of his discovery of the 
meaning of interest. It is a very real and a 
very stimulating lesson in his thrift education 
for him to discover that money properly in- 256 
The Home 
vested will work for him and produce an in- 
come practically as is done by the applica- 
tion of his hand. And, as a usual thing, after 
a child has discovered the peculiar virtue of 
possessing a small bank account and of having 
a small sum of money out working for him- 
usually, after this change has come to his 
mind, it is not difficult to keep him on the 
highway of ultimate business success. 
The fourth department of finance 
which your child should most cer- 
tainly master, is that of learning to give. Too 
many otherwise good men and women meet 
all the other three foregoing requirements of 
business but fail signally in this one. To give 
is as much a virtue as the others and it con- 
tributes its equal share of life's choicest pleas- 
ures. Begin early in the matter of training 
your child to give reasonably out of his small 
accumulations of money-a penny for the tiny 
tot, a nickel for the next size, a dime for the 
older one, and a quarter for the youth. Thus 
the size of a gift may be gauged to the size of 
the child as well as to the size of his purse. 
Again, the applications of psychology to the 
inner life will be involved in the methods of 
instruction. Not enforced giving but willing- 
Learning to 
Give Basis of Thrift and Enterprise 
257 
ness and even a desire to give, is the ideal of 
practice. Also you may expect your child to 
become fond of the fourth step of the amateur 
financier quite as readily as he has learned to 
enjoy the other three aspects of the subject. 
However, in order to make success an easy 
accomplishment, proceed as in other matters 
to lead the young learner through the various 
grades of practice. Explain why gifts are nec- 
essary, that honest giving blesses both the giver 
and the recipient. Explain how men and 
women are constantly engaged in building up 
institutions like schools and churches without 
thought of money payment for their services. 
Explain how the original settlers of any com- 
munity or the builders of a great city have of 
necessity suffered and sacrificed in order that 
the succeeding generations might be blessed 
through their efforts. 
As will be seen, the discussion here is meant 
as an argument to support the idea of the or- 
ganization of the child's mind as a substantial 
step toward the management of his money. 
He must first understand the need and the jus- 
tice of giving and he will then appreciate the 
lessons of generosity which we wish to impart. 
Then, after a brief period of practice in mak- 258 
The Rome 
ing reasonable contributions, as his small purse 
may justify, your child will begin to find a 
secret pleasure in the practice itself. After 
that you may depend upon him to continue his 
new-found art of giving and to connect in a 
delightful program of successful business en- 
terprise all four of the basic virtues of money 
management described above. 
The matter of paying children for 
choring part time work about the 
home is a problem which has never been even 
reasonably solved by the common parent class 
of the country. Some remunerate their chil- 
dren too liberally while others neglect the 
duty entirely. Probably farm parents have 
been more negligent in this respect than any 
other class. Manv of the young of the rural 
communities grow nracticallv to maturity 
without learning anythin? worth while about 
iust and fair ware navments or what consti- 
tutes a square deal for the emplovment class. 
The boy who spends his first seventeen years 
working for mere clothes and lodging is not 
likely to be esneciallv loval to the old home 
place. He will follow the beaten trail and 
hire out for wages at the first opportunity to 
do so. 
Payment 
for Home 
Work Basis of Thrift and Enterprise 
259 
Probably it is best for all concerned to pay 
children for home work about as much as 
would have to be paid if outsiders were being 
employed. Also, it is advisable to arrange a 
regular schedule of hours and duties, to 
make an allowance of so much per week as a 
reward for "helping about the place" is too 
lose an arrangement. With such an appoint- 
ment a child will become dependent. He will 
wait to be ordered to every little duty and will 
naturally slight the work so as to win his free- 
dom as soon as possible. So, it is highly ad- 
visable that we deal with children in the same 
common-sense manner as applied to adults. 
The appointment which comes at a regular 
hour everv working day is preferable, so that 
the law of habit may be brought into service. 
Naturally, you will not onlv desire to have the 
child perform his work willinglv and well but 
vou will be anxious to have him learn self- 
management and put himself to work upon 
the task each dav without being reminded of it. 
The ordinarv excuse made bv parents, in 
effect that thev have nothing for their child to 
do. is not Justifiable. With eoual reason vou 
mipht decide not to send vour child to school, 
simplv because of the inconvenience of doing 260 
The Home 
so. The instruction of children in work, thrift 
and business responsibilities is a fundamental 
part of their education. Someone must at- 
tend faithfully to the matter or society later 
must pay heavily for the fault. Wherefore, it 
is the parents' duty to arange for an industrial 
assignment for the growing child whether or 
not there be anything easily available. How- 
ever, there is always an abundance of work 
about the ordinary dwelling. Both boys and 
girls should be taught to perform all of the 
simple duties of keeping the house in order, 
taking care of the furniture, repairing break- 
age, and the like. In the usual instance the 
mother does far too much of this routine work 
and requires far too little of her children. By 
making a careful division of labor, assigning 
each child a regular dutv, and bv allowing 
reasonable pavment for all such work care- 
fully performed-it is bv such a w<d1-managed 
scheme that the thoughtful mnv con- 
serve her own life forces nnd nt the same time 
strengthen the industrial and business enter- 
prise of her children. CHAPTER XVI 
THE OUTLOOK TO A VOCATION 
The vocational direction of youth is a never- 
ending problem. Its necessity and difficulty 
are well implied in the fact that state and na- 
tional governments have been expending lib- 
eral sums of money during recent years in 
support of a variety of guidance programs be- 
ing undertaken in schools and colleges. How- 
ever, after a considerable period of experi- 
mentation those high in authority in this spe- 
cial field of education are still uncertain as 
to what method is the most sound. 
Probably the parent class in gen- 
eral give more thought and effort 
to the vocational guidance of their young than 
to any other problem of home management. 
And, even though they deal first hand with 
the matter, thev also report not a little dis- 
satisfaction. The first deep difficulty involved 
here is that of adjusting the guidance properly 
to the awakening instinct. It is the general 
assumption of this text for home instruction 
The Deeper 
Difficulties 
261 262 
The Home 
that you can not teach a subject with assured 
success until there is an inner call for it on 
the part of the learner himself. Everywhere, 
both in the home and in the school, youths are 
being compelled to take up a consideration of 
their own vocational adjustment before they 
come to the awakening of the vocational in- 
stinct. For that reason their attention to the 
enforced topic is cold and unemotional. 
You can not teach a boy how to plow corn 
by compelling him to bend over the pages of 
a book descriptive of such employment. You 
can not teach a boy to love to work as a car- 
penter by merely verbal descriptions and pic- 
tured illustrations of what such business is 
like; nor can you make him fond of the ap- 
pointment through mere praise of its value 
and virtues. Above all things else, therefore, 
it is necessary to wait for the instinctive de- 
sire for employment and business occupation. 
When that comes it is difficult to hold a youth 
back; but until it comes, it is difficult to force 
him to take any interest in the matter whatever. 
The country at large is proceeding under a 
false and futile method in its effort to direct 
youths toward successful vocational practice. 
That is, the majority of the young whom we Outlook to a Vocation 
263 
attempt to teach the vocational subjects are 
not yet sufficiently matured to be interested 
in any kind of life work whatever. They are 
nearly all in the age of romance. Their day 
dreams are centered upon the social affairs 
and their emotional responses are practically 
all related to finding a suitable love mate. So 
long as the love-dream psychosis dominates the 
conduct of a youth his parents and teachers 
will make little headway in their efforts to 
switch his attention to anything like business 
employment or a permanent occupation. In 
order to appear interested and obedient he 
may make certain favorable pretenses but the 
whole affair is more or less dry and meaning- 
less as will be shown by the meager results of 
the effort. 
Doubtless, many will be impatient 
with the suggestion here urged, 
namely, that practically all the vocational ad- 
vice and guidance offered youths who are 
dominated by the love-dream emotions, is 
worse than wasted. If you force a child to 
pretend to love a thing when he honestly does 
not, you arouse within him a spirit of rebel- 
lion. All such instruction is artificial, to say 
the least in its favor. As was insisted above, 
Nature 
Must 
Respond 264 
The Home 
the one major duty of a trainer of the young 
during the period of social emotions is to fol- 
low the lead of nature and provide construc- 
tive social programs. It is fully as important 
for your sixteen-year old to know how to be- 
have in every kind of social relation as it is 
for him to know how to secure employment 
and to enter upon a business career. Indeed, 
the familiarity with social relations is basic 
for the success of business enterprise. 
The deeper changes in the attitude of the 
young toward life's normal interests are likely 
to come with suddenness. Not infrequently 
a father will call upon a vocational specialist 
and report his utter inability to interest his 
youthful son in any other subject than "going 
with the girls." Grave concern for the fate 
of the boy is usually expressed. However, 
one might as well laugh the matter off as a 
mere joke; for the person who really under- 
stands the inner workings of character unfold- 
m@nt will expect the indifferent youth at an 
early date suddenly to take a sharp turn for 
the better. That is, the slumbering vocational 
instinct will awaken and demand satisfaction. 
Hence, we may today come into personal rela- 
tions with a youth utterly unready and unfit Outlook, to a Vocation 
265 
to be appealed to with reference to his life 
work; but tomorrow-a very few months later 
-the same young man may suddenly turn 
upon us with an urgent request that we advise 
him and assist him in some kind of business 
project of his own choosing. 
The purpose in dwelling at unusual length 
upon the point here at issue is to attempt to 
turn the tide of traditional error of dealing 
too early with the vocational problem of 
youth. If we can but make clear the one sig- 
nificant point, namely, that the inner call of 
nature for vocational experience must proceed 
effective guidance, then our purpose will have 
been attained. 
Another difficult and fundamental 
issue in the vocational guidance of 
youth-'and one not at all well met by ordi- 
nary parents-is that of pre-vocational expe- 
rience. We are still pursuing the error of 
requesting youths to make a choice among a 
great variety of possible enterprises without 
the advantage of first having made some kind 
of test of those occupations. When in doubt, 
proceed slowly-that is the safest rule for all 
concerned about the problem of the vocational 
direction of any young person. It is better to 
Experience 
of Prime 
Importance 266 
The Home 
defer the decision for another year and oc- 
cupy the time with a further testing and try- 
out of as many new lines of employment as 
may be available. 
In the carrying out of the idea of vocational 
experience as being fundamental for voca- 
tional choice, perhaps the most reliable method 
is to arrange that the young learner experi- 
ment briefly with the so-called trunk-line en- 
terprises of society. These have been named 
as soil production, manufacturing, and trans- 
portation. If we are to be perfectly fair and 
honest with our youth in the matter of their 
choice of a life work, we must first give them 
the advantage of testing at least the funda- 
mentals of all the major lines of action. 
It is a matter of very great advantage if your 
boy of the middle 'teen age can be privileged 
to spend one or two vacation seasons working 
on a farm or ranch; that is, if he has been 
reared entirely away from all rural occupa- 
tions. City parents are prone to misjudge the 
matter simply because of the fact of compara- 
tive low wages being offered for farm work. 
The chief virtue, however, is not in the amount 
of money to be earned but the amount of ex- 
perience to be obtained. One summer's Outlook to a Vocation 
267 
experience in wrestling with the soil and in 
the management of farm crops and farm ani- 
mals may prove to be the greatest inspiration 
of a lifetime for your boy. However, it is 
altogether likely that such a charming call to 
duty will never come to a youth who merely 
reads about farm life from books or who looks 
out upon the farm scenes from an easy-cush- 
ioned seat in an auto or a railway coach. 
City parents will find it practica- 
ble to send their youthful sons to 
the farm, but every such undertaking calls for 
thoughtful management. There is always like- 
lihood of a clash of interests, the farmer being 
desirous of crop production and the parents 
of the boy being centered upon the idea of 
character production. A considerable atten- 
tion to the problem of placing city boys ad- 
vantageously on the farm for their vacation 
employment, has made it clear that such youths 
may prove entirelv worthy of their hire. So, 
the city father is advised to take up the matter 
of placing his son practically as he would any 
other business affair. First of all, let him 
make a rather extensive inquiry and secure a 
list of desirable places. Then, proceed to make 
a definite contract with the proprietor, includ- 
Farm Train= 
ing Requires 
Management 268 
The Home 
ing in the agreement all the specifications nec- 
essary for safeguarding the boy's health and 
character as well as for the performance of 
faithful work. 
It is inadvisable to look for a soft and easy 
farm position for your boy. One youth wrote 
from the city inquiring about a place where 
he could have "plenty to eat, little to do and 
frequent holidays." Give the farm owner to 
understand that your boy is anxious to under- 
take a man-sized job, and that he will prove 
himself worthy of the confidence. Also, it 
will please and challenge the youth himself to 
have you present his case as if he were both 
mature and able. Although the under-exer- 
cise of the school period may have made him 
subject to easy fatigue, the high school youth 
quickly gets into physical form under the or- 
dinary strain of manual employment. For the 
first week, or such a matter, he will feel stiff 
and sore at morning; but, after that, his na- 
tural suppleness will keep pace with his eager 
appetite for food. 
Two vacation seasons on the farm may be 
made to give your young son a practical taste 
of all the larger projects being conducted 
there. That is, he may learn to plant, tend Outlook to a Vocation 
269 
and harvest the ordinary crops; to help in- 
cidentally with the work about the orchard 
and garden; and to acquire a cursory knowl- 
edge of the care and management of farm ani- 
mals. After this excellent variety of indus- 
trial experience has been wrought into the 
personality of your boy he will be in an ideal 
position to choose wisely a vocation, so far as 
the limits of farm employment are concerned. 
And, additional credits will be a strong phy- 
sique and a new sense of worth to the world. 
The matter to be emphasized here 
is that the plan of farm employ- 
ment suggested above will furnish within its 
limits an adequate basis for the selection of a 
vocation. Farm life and general soil produc- 
tion, as is well known, have become differen- 
tiated into several highly specialized lines. 
There is the one crop farmer, the general far- 
mer, the single-line live stock breeder and the 
combination of crop and animal production. 
Also, truck farming, gardening, floriculture, 
and other special lines furnish additional op- 
portunities for the youth who is out in quest 
of a life work. 
It alwavs encourages thoughtful parents to 
discover that the accomplishment of one im- 
A Reliable 
Basis for 
Choosing 270 
The Home 
portant purpose in behalf of their children 
leads naturally to another more interesting 
one. For example, the vacation employment 
of your boy on a farm may lead him to choose 
one of the foregoing classifications for his life 
work. Then, after you have discussed the 
matter carefully with your boy and have ar- 
rived at this important decision you will most 
probably reach the conclusion that he should 
take up a special course of preparation in some 
college intended for the purpose. Of all the 
real vocational guidance institutions in the 
country, probably the typical state college of 
agriculture stands at the head; for here the 
young men and young women are given the- 
ory, practice and inspiration in such well- 
balanced quantities as to ground them firmly 
in the preparation of a career. Barring death, 
accident and a very exceptional case, it may be 
said that the graduates of these institutions are 
eminently successful. 
After centuries of neglect of the 
matter, and after having given her 
brother by far the greater advantage in re- 
spect to education in general, society has fin- 
ally reached the conclusion that women and 
girls are in all respects human and entitled to 
Girls Com= 
ing to Their 
Own Outlook to a Vocation 
271 
human considerations, as are men and boys. 
Without reference to our desire or pleasure 
about the matter, the girls and young women 
of America are showing a determined purpose 
to establish for themselves full economic in- 
dependence. Now, there is more occasion for 
rejoicing than for despair in regard to this 
matter. We must not expect social customs 
all to repeat themselves and too continue un- 
changed. But of one thing we may be as- 
sured, that the human race is essentially strong 
and self-reliant and that it will continue in- 
definitely to attain higher and better things. 
Since there is a marked determination of 
the girls and younger women of the country to 
enter practically all the economic lines of bus- 
iness now occupied by men, let us meet the 
situation in faith and assurance that valuable 
accomplishments will finally grow out of the 
movement. The alarm expressed by some that 
women will crowd the men out of positions 
and into poverty seems to have no reasonable 
warrant. There will simply be a readjust- 
ment. Even at this very date, with women 
employed as never before, there is everywhere 
a shortage of employes. Also, the warning 
that women in employment means fewer mar- 272 
The Home 
riages and smaller families is another waste of 
effort. There will still be as many families 
and as many children as are needed for the 
progress of society. In fact, there is today 
more probability that the earth is destined soon 
to be over-populated than it is to under- 
peopled. 
Our conclusion is that parents should lay 
aside their concern about the trend of society 
or about the supposed dangers to the race and 
should devote the same amount of attention to 
the guidance of their children into the society 
which we now have and into a proper race 
consciousness. Wherefore, let us consider the 
pre-vocational training of the girl with the 
same degree of seriousness as we do that of 
the boy. Also, in general, the situation is the 
same. There are certain trunk-line occupa- 
tions of women in which all girls should be 
privileged to participate briefly by way of ex- 
perimentation, as a basis of choice of a life 
work. 
Since tradition and custom have assigned 
women to the complex and manifold duties of 
caring for the house and the children, prob- 
ably it is fair to assume that somewhere deep 
within the peculiar temperament of woman- Outlook to a Vocation 
273 
kind there is a dominant instinct leading to- 
ward such occupations. For that reason, if 
for no other, every normal girl should be priv- 
ileged to try out briefly these traditional oc- 
cupations. After that, she will be in a position 
to decide whether or not it is advisable to 
choose her permanent occupation within the 
field as tested. However, we have not met the 
demands of the situation fully when we have 
merely given a girl a brief amount of expe- 
rience in the performance of the traditional 
work of her sex. We must be willing to have 
her tested out in all those additional lines of 
occupation which make a direct appeal to her 
interest and emotions. What are the masses 
of women engaged in today with pleasure and 
profit as a reward for their efforts? Whatever 
these may prove to be, that will guide us re- 
liably in the vocational management of the 
ordinary high school girl. Perhaps the gen- 
eral class of farm industries offer few open- 
ings for girls and young women, but some of 
the specialized classes certainly do so. Then, 
there are many lines of manufacturing- 
where physical strength is not especially de- 
manded-which are inviting to the feminine 
mind. As to occupations in connection with 274 
The Home 
the complex business of transportation, here, 
too, we may note many interesting opportuni- 
ties for women. 
Probably public opinion is unfair 
to the young man or young woman 
beginning business, in its expectation that such 
a beginning will prove permanent. Parents 
will find it greatly to the advantage of all con- 
cerned to leave open the door of ambition and 
opportunity for considerable time after the 
young member has undertaken seriously his 
life work, and will grant their full acquies- 
cence in any pronounced desire on the part of 
the young person involved to shift from one 
position to another. Many a young man who 
first enters upon the business of engineering, 
for example, may later discover a far more 
interesting occupation in some widely differ- 
ent field. Also, the young woman who begins 
with the definite purpose of teaching as a pro- 
fession may later discover that office work or 
clerking is more nearly her choice. 
"Now, my son, you are about to try your- 
self in a field of business of your own choice. 
However, I shall not expect yQU to settle down 
permanently for two or three years. You may 
even decide to change your course entirely and 
The Right 
to Change 
Occupations Outlook to a Vocation 
275 
seemingly to cast aside not only your present 
business but also the lengthy course of train- 
ing which you took in preparation for it. Only 
the experience of testing and training can 
make you sure of yourself. Go on and find 
your way. Two or three years hence you will 
see the future clearly enough to be satisfied 
with whatever choice you then have settled 
upon." 
The foregoing quotation expresses the cen- 
tral idea here considered. You may substitute 
the word "daughter" for the word "son" as 
the case may require, but the right to shift 
and change from one occupation to another 
should never be denied the voung person who 
is out seeking a permanent business. A com- 
bination of experience and conviction will 
lead the way most reliably. 
Parents can not well afford to over- 
look the duty of teaching their 
growing sons and daughters the 
significance of the great business virtues, such 
as honesty, industry, dependableness, courage 
and vision. Character is the first essential in 
any line of organized vocational enterprise. 
The golden rule is more than law of morals or 
religion, it is a fundamental principle inherent 
Exalt the 
Great 
Business 
Virtues 276 
The Home 
in all successful business. To commit a son or 
daughter to the ideals of honesty and integrity 
while at the same time he is learning by prac- 
tice a life work soon to be ended upon, amounts 
to a practical guarantee of his success in the 
chosen line. 
Willingness to begin in an humble and per- 
haps underpaid position is also a mark of 
promise of the future man or woman of suc- 
cessful enterprise. Too manv members of the 
young generation are planning to begin with 
the advantages and the luxuries which their 
parents perhaps spent a quarter century in 
reaching. Such voting persons are more in- 
clined to tire of their iob and to decide that 
the best things have all been tasted while none 
any longer possess an emotional appeal. 
It is especially desirable that young people 
acquire habits of honest thinking. For a youth 
to desire to give a full measure of service for 
every dollar that is paid him, to devote his 
energy to the carrying out of the purposes of 
his employer, and to make his effort a contri- 
bution to the reputation of the firm which 
employs him as well as the general business 
in which he is engaged-that is indeed a high 
ideal for any young person at the threshold of Outlook to a Vocation 
277 
a life career, and such high-mindedness proves 
to be a commercial asset. Think right and 
you will grow right, is a simple but significant 
motto for the young business mind. And, more 
than ever before, the parents of the country 
are turning their attention to the very sig- 
nificant point of business training here stated; 
that is, to the idea that integrity of thought 
means finally a similar quality of behavior. 
The modern theory of successful 
enterprise tends to place the hu- 
man equation everywhere in a position of 
prominence. It is not outside of a reasonable 
policy of home training for parents to incul- 
cate such an ideal in the minds of their youth- 
ful children. Evidently, we are slowly ap- 
proaching the time when human service will 
be considered the first test of worthiness of 
any given line of business. Does it serve a 
human need? Does it supply a common want? 
Does it assist in the production of wealth? 
Does it deal helpfully with its employes? 
Does it avoid every element of injury or de- 
structiveness? The foregoing questions are 
being put more or less unconsciously to the in- 
dividual as well as to the organization as a 
test of the integrity of the enterprise under 
The Human 
Touch in 
Business 278 
The Home 
pursuit. All destructive, dishonorable and 
disreputable business must drop out of line- 
that is the judgment which society today is 
unconsciously setting up as a standard for a 
new day of commercial well-being. Parents 
who neglect to inculcate such ideals as a part 
of the home instruction of their children will 
fall short of the mark now being expected for 
them. SECOND DIVISION 
Heart to Heart Talks to Married and 
Marriageable Men and Women Copyright by Underwood & Underwood. 
THE BRIDE 
280 CHAPTER XVII 
ETHICS OF MARRIAGE 
The Law of 
Love 
Love is the basis of marriage; so 
should it be of married life. Love 
seeks the good of the beloved object-desires 
to promote the dear one's happiness, and 
avert sorrow, care and pain. We may leave 
love to find out the ways and means of doing 
this, and need not fetter affection with formu- 
las. It will do the right thing at the right 
time, fall short in nothing and never tran- 
scend its bounds. 
Our ideal of perfect love which 
casteth out selfishness is that it 
never forgets its divine origin, is always 
mindful of its sacred offices, and its azure 
wings are never bedrabbled in the mire of 
earthly grossness. But lovers, wives and hus- 
bands are poor, imperfect mortals after all, 
and there are few married people that may 
not profit by some well-considered hints in 
regard to the minor morals of matrimonial 
and domestic life. 
This Is Our 
Ideal 
281 282 
Personal Help for the Married 
Matri= 
monial 
Fidelity 
The first duty which married per- 
sons owe to each other is to main- 
tain that sacred and unalterable fidelity 
toward each other to which they are sworn 
by their bridal vows. This fidelity implies 
something more than the avoidance of overt 
acts of conjugal transgression which shock 
the moral sense of community and awaken 
public indignation. There may be folly and 
wrong where there is no actual violation of 
the law of the land. The moth may flit about 
the lamp flame for a time without falling 
into it, and a flirtation may originate in 
vanity or pique and end in nothing worse 
than a brief infatuation on one side and a few 
keen pangs of jealousy on the other, but the 
danger of more serious results is fearful. 
Beware, then, of the slightest ap- 
proach to trifling with the holy bonds you 
have assumed. Let there be no cause for a 
single anxious thought, for one hour of dis- 
quiet or doubt on the part of the one you 
have sworn to love and cherish. That one 
must be first in your thoughts always. The 
hopes, the plans, the happiness of husband 
and wife are bound up together. We can not 
divide the most sacred sympathies of our 
Flirtations Ethics of Marriage 
283 
nature between our lawful mate and another 
person. 
Thine own, forever thine, is the language 
of the true husband or wife. We may have 
father, mother, brothers, sisters, friends, all 
near and dear to us, but before all, and 
above all, must be the one to whom we have 
given the hand and heart in marriage. Pov- 
erty may benumb the soul with icy hands; 
misfortune may darken our pathway; sick- 
ness may lay us low; beauty may fade and 
strength depart, but love and constancy are 
but a name if they live not through all. 
Married people that would live 
happily together must treat each 
other with perfect confidence, and be strictly 
honest and unreserved in their intercourse. 
Duplicity, even in the smallest matters, must 
be carefully avoided. A wife must not de- 
ceive her husband, or a husband his wife, in 
anything. When one gets into the habit of 
doing anything of which he or she is ashamed 
to speak to the one that should be as another 
self, there is the beginning of a course of 
wrongdoing of which no one can foresee the 
end. With the first detected deception-and 
Mutual 
Confidence 284 
Personal Help for the Married 
deception seldom remains long undetected- 
there comes a loss of confidence, which it is 
almost impossible to fully restore; but with 
mutual unreserved honesty of purpose and 
complete openness, there will come a faith in 
each other that nothing can shake. Where 
such honesty, frankness and confidence exist, 
there can be no room for jealousy, no grounds 
for bitterness and strife. 
No one is free from faults. If 
courtship has not revealed them to the lovers, 
marriage will certainly remove the veil and 
show each to the other with the failings, 
foibles and weaknesses of our imperfect hu- 
manity. Love, like charity, may cover a 
multitude of sins, but it can not make us blind 
to the faults of character and the errors of 
habit which we shall inevitably discover in 
the beloved; but the discoveries we may make 
should not alienate us in any degree or cool 
our love; for while we see some things that 
we do not approve, we should bear in mind 
the fact that we probably have as many and 
as great faults as our companion, and that 
there will be need of constant mutual for- 
bearance and charity. 
Charity Ethics of Marriage 
285 
It is a duty we owe to our friends, 
and especially to our best of all 
earthly friends-our wife or hus- 
band-to remind them, in a spirit of kind- 
ness and charity, of their faults, with a view 
to their correction. We must not do this in 
a censorious and self-righteous spirit, but con- 
siderately and tenderly, and we must not 
manifest impatience if the habits of years 
are not wholly abandoned in a week. 
When a husband and wife can not 
think alike on any particular sub- 
ject, they can at least "agree to disagree," and 
not allow a slight difference of opinion to 
cause unkind feelings or estrangement. Be 
tolerant everywhere, but especially at home. 
We may establish a claim on some inci- 
dental circumstance, or the bare fact of re- 
lationship, and impose burdens and accept 
kindness without a thought of obligation on 
our part. 
The husband should never cease 
to be a lover, or fail in any of 
those delicate attentions and tender expres- 
sions of affectionate solicitude which marked 
his intercourse before marriage with his 
heart's queen. All the respectful deference, 
Shall 
Husband 
and Wife 
Criticize? 
Agree to 
Disagree 
Matri- 
monial 
Politeness 
V.l-3 286 
Personal Help for the Married 
every courteous observance, all the self-sacri- 
ficing devotion that can be claimed by the 
sweetheart is certainly due to the wife, and 
he is no true husband and no true gentleman 
that habitually withholds them. 
It is not enough that you honor, 
respect and love your wife. You 
must put this honor, respect and love into 
forms of speech and action. Let no unkind 
word, no seeming indifference, no lack of the 
little attentions due her, remind her sadly of 
the sweet days of courtship and the honey- 
moon. Surely the love which you then 
thought would be cheaply purchased at the 
price of a world, is worth all your care to 
preserve. 
Is not the wife more, better and 
dearer than the sweetheart? It is 
probably your own fault if she be not. The 
chosen companion of your life, the mother of 
your children, the sharer of all your joys and 
sorrows, as she possesses the highest place in 
your affections, should have the best place 
everywhere, the politest attentions, the soft- 
est, kindest words, the tenderest care. Love, 
duty and good manners alike require it. 
Honor, 
Respect and 
Love 
Wife and 
Sweetheart Ethics of Marriage 
287 
"Youst My 
Vife" 
There is a story told of an old 
German who was engaged in the 
back part of his place of business when one 
of his clerks came and told him that there 
was a lady waiting to see him in his office. 
He had thrown off his coat and the work he 
was doing had soiled his hands. 
Hurrying to a basin he washed his hands, 
threw on his coat, straightened his tie and 
made himself as presentable as possible be- 
fore going forward to meet the lady. Re- 
turning a few minutes later, he said, with 
an aggrieved air, as he threw off his coat: 
"I put on my coat und make myself clean 
for noding. Dot vas youst my vife." 
Now there are a good many intelligent, 
entirely respectable and well-meaning men 
that do not feel it to be incumbent upon 
them to observe the ordinary rules of courtesy 
toward women, when the woman in question 
is "youst my vife." And so there are wives 
that fall into the habit of negligence regard- 
ing their personal appearance and are in- 
different to many of the ordinary little 
courtesies of life, when there is no one 
around but "just my husband." 288 
Personal Help for the Married 
It is an evil day in any home when the 
husband feels that he can be less courteous 
to his wife than to other women, and it is 
an equally evil day when the wife feels that 
she can put aside many of the little courtesies. 
And has the wife no duties? 
Have the courteous observances, 
the tender watchfulness, the pleasant words, 
the never-tiring devotion which won your 
smiles, your spoken thanks, your kisses- 
your very self-in days gone by, now lost 
their value? Does not the husband rightly 
claim as much as the lover? If you find 
him less observant of the little courtesies due 
you, may not this be owing to the fact that 
you sometimes fail to reward him with the 
same sweet thanks and sweeter smiles? Ask 
your own heart. 
Have the comfort and happiness 
of your husband always in view, 
and let him see and feel that you still 
look up to him with trust and affection, that 
the love of other days has not grown cold. 
Dress for his eyes more scrupulously than 
for all the rest of the world; make yourself 
and your home beautiful for his sake; try to 
beguile him from his cares; retain his affec- 
Husband 
and Lover 
Dress for 
His Eyes Ethics of Marriage 
289 
tions in the same way that you won them. 
Be polite even to your husband. 
Let there be a place at home 
sacred from all ideas of toil-a 
sanctum of domestic love and sociability, 
where never intrude the cross word and sour 
look. With a pleasant greeting and smile 
welcome him as he comes from the sharp 
conflict with his fellows. You say, "Are we 
always to wear a smiling face to chase away 
his frown? The children have been vexa- 
tious; can we always bear it smilingly?" 
Know this, wives, that when assured of an 
habitually pleasant reception, the frown will 
be left at the office, put from the face, closed 
with the ledger. It is utterly impossible to 
do otherwise, for like begets like, as surely 
as operate nature's laws. Become to him a 
necessary part of himself, a wife in every 
respect, and he will not fail to respond. 
"Why is it," asked a lady, "that 
so many men are anxious to get 
rid of their wives?" "Because," was the re- 
ply, "so few women exert themselves after 
marriage to make their presence indispens- 
able to the happiness of their husbands." 
When husband and wife have become thor- 
A Sanctum 
of Love 
Why Well- 
Disposed 
Wives Fail 290 
Personal Help for the Married 
oughly accustomed to each other-when all 
the little battery of charms which each plays 
off so skilfully before the wedding day, has 
been exhausted-too many seem to think that 
nothing remains but the clanking of the legal 
chains that bind them to each other. 
Renew the attentions of earlier 
days. Draw your hearts close to- 
gether. Talk the thing all over. Prayer- 
fully, aye, prayerfully, acknowledge your 
faults to one another, and determine that 
henceforth you will be all in all to each other, 
and my word for it, you shall find in your 
relation the sweetest joy earth has for you. 
There is no other way for you to do. If you 
are not happy at home you must be happy 
abroad; the man or woman that has settled 
down upon the conviction that he or she is 
attached for life to an uncongenial yoke- 
fellow, and that there is no way to escape, 
has lost life; there is no effort too costly 
that can restore to its setting upon the bosom 
the missing pearl. 
Again: children born in happy 
and loving wedlock will be more 
comely, more beautiful, more perfect. Chil- 
dren born in unhappy wedlock are less favor- 
Renew 
Domestic 
Felicity 
Children 
and Happy 
Wedlock Ethics of Marriage 
291 
ably organized, less happily disposed, less 
comely and beautiful. Loving parents, loving 
children; quarreling parents, quarreling chil- 
dren. This is the rule. Therefore, for the 
sake of posterity, we are in duty bound to 
cultivate the more amiable qualities, and keep 
the passions in subjection. Grace comes by 
seeking. 
Strive to preserve health, if you 
would have sunshine in your 
home. Nervous irritability and the state 
of being ill at ease-these and many other 
forms of ill-health may be avoided, as a 
general rule, by those who endeavor to pre- 
serve their health as a sacred duty. If most 
people have but little health, it is because 
they transgress the laws of nature, alternately 
stimulating and depressing themselves. For 
our own sake and for the sake of others that 
we trouble by irritability, we are bound to 
obey these laws pertaining to fresh air, ex- 
ercise, moderate work, conquest of appetite. 
The very worst time for a hus- 
band and wife to have unpleasant 
words is dinner-time. He that bores us at 
dinner robs us of pleasure and injures our 
health, a fact which the aiderman realized 
Health and 
Household 
Pleasures 
Unpleasant 
Words at 
Meal=Time 292 
Personal Help for the Married 
when he exclaimed to a stupid interrogator! 
"With your confounded questions, sir, you've 
made me swallow a piece of green fat with- 
out tasting it." 
Many a poor wife has to swallow her din- 
ner without tasting it because her inconsider- 
ate husband chooses this time to find fault 
with her, the children, the servants and with 
everything except himself. The beef is too 
much done, the vegetables too little; every- 
thing is cold. "I think you might look after 
something! Oh! that is no excuse," and so 
on, to the great disturbance of his own and 
his wife's digestion. 
God sends food, but the devil sends the few 
cross words that prevent it from doing us 
any good. We should have at least three 
laughs during dinner, and everyone is bound 
to contribute a share of agreeable table talk, 
good humor and cheerfulness. 
Make allowances for your wife's 
share of the great inheritance of 
human nature. Do not expect her to smile 
in unmoved serenity when children are un- 
governable, servants are in high rebellion, 
and husband comes home cross and hungry. 
If she is a little petulant, do not bang doors 
Conditions 
Demand 
Charity Ethics of Marriage 
293 
by way of soothing her temper. Just remem- 
ber that a pleasant word or two, the touch 
of a kindly hand, or the light of a pitying 
eye will act like oil on the troubled waters. 
Even men are known to get out of patience 
sometimes, therefore be not astonished at 
woman's occasional lapse of self-control! 
The great secret is to learn to 
bear with each other's failings; 
not to be blind to them-that were either 
an impossibility or a folly. We must see 
and feel them; if we do neither, they are 
not evils to us, and there is obviously no 
need of forbearance. We are to throw the 
mantle of charity around them, concealing 
them from the curious gaze of others; to 
determine not to let them chill the affections. 
Surely it is not the perfections, but the im- 
perfections of human character that make 
the strongest claims on our love. 
To Bear 
With Each 
Other 
VITAL QUESTIONS FOR HUSBANDS 
1. Have you given to her all of your time 
which you could spare? 
2. Have you endeavored to make amends 
to her for the loss of her friends? 294 
Personal Help for the Married 
3. Have you joined with her in her en- 
deavors to open the minds of your children 
and give them good, moral lessons? 
4. Have you strengthened her mind with 
advice, kindness and good books? 
5. Have you spent your evenings with her 
in the cultivation of intellectual, moral or 
social excellence? 
6. Have you looked upon her, as well as 
yourself, as an immortal being? 
7. Has her improvement been as much 
your aim as your own? 
8. Has your desire been to "love her," as 
St. Paul commands you, and to see her "holy 
and without blemish?" 
9. Has your kind word soothed the irri- 
tation of her brow? 
10. Has your arm supported her in the 
day of trial and trouble? 
11. Have you truly been a helpmate to her 
whom you have sworn before God to love 
and cherish? 
Let what we have said add to 
your desire to serve, to assist and 
to cherish the wife in all possible ways. 
Let your children have the example before 
them of parents bound by one tie, one hope; 
united here and forever. 
Advice to 
Husband Ethics of Marriage 
295 
Let him whose married life has been short 
aid and counsel his young wife. 
Let her troubles be yours and her joys be 
your joys. 
Let the wife have all the companionship 
possible with the husband. 
There is a picture, bright and 
beautiful, but nevertheless true, 
where hearts are united for mutual happi- 
ness and mutual improvement; where a kind 
voice cheers the wife in her hour of trouble, 
and where the shade of anxiety is chased 
from the husband's brow as he enters his 
home; where sickness is soothed by watchful 
love, and hope and faith burn brightly. For 
such there is a great reward, both here and 
hereafter, in their own and their families' 
spiritual happiness and growth, and in the 
blessed scenes of the world of spirits. 
And, wives! do you also consult 
the tastes and dispositions of your 
husbands and endeavor to give to them high 
and noble thoughts, lofty aims and temporal 
comfort. Be ready to welcome them to their 
homes; gradually draw their thoughts while 
with you from business, and lead them to 
the regions of the beautiful in art and nature 
A Beautiful 
Picture 
The Wife 
Makes 
Home 296 
Personal Help for the Married 
and the true and the divine in sentiment. 
Foster a love of the elegant and refined, and 
gradually you will see business, literature 
and high moral culture blending in "sweet 
accord." 
Do not forget that your happiness 
both here and hereafter depends 
upon each other's influence. An unkind 
word or look, or an unintentional neglect, 
sometimes lead to thoughts which ripen into 
the ruin of body and soul. A spirit of for- 
bearance, patience, and kindness, and a de- 
termination to keep the chain of love bright, 
are likely to develop corresponding qualities, 
and to make the rough places of life smooth 
and pleasant. Have you seriously reflected 
that it is in the power of either of you to 
make the other utterly miserable? And 
when the storms and trials of life come, for 
come they will, how much either of you can 
do to calm, to elevate, to purify the troubled 
spirit of the other, and change clouds for 
sunshine! 
It was thus, surely, that intel- 
lectual beings of different sexes 
were intended by their great Creator to go 
Mutual 
Effort 
The 
Divine 
Plan Ethics of Marriage 
297 
through the world together; thus united, not 
only in hand and heart, but in principles, in 
intellect, in views, and in dispositions; each 
pursuing one common and noble end-their 
own improvement, and the happiness of 
those around them-by the different means 
appropriate to their situation; mutually cor- 
recting, sustaining, and strengthening each 
other; undegraded by all practice of tyranny 
on the one hand, and of deceit on the other; 
each finding a candid but severe judge in the 
understanding, and a warm and partial advo- 
cate in the heart of their companion. 
In America, some women think 
that anything is good enough to 
wear at home. They go about in slatternly 
morning dresses, unkempt hair, and slippers 
down at the heel. "Nobody will see me," 
they say, "but my husband." 
An English lady, visiting the wife of one 
of the wealthy merchants of India, found her 
always in full dress, with toilet as carefully 
arranged as if she were going to a ball. 
"Why!" exclaimed the visitor, "is it pos- 
sible that you take all this trouble to dress 
for nobody but your husband?" 
Nobody 
But My 
Husband 298 
Personal Help for the Married 
"Do, then," asked the lady in reply, "the 
wives of Englishmen dress for the sake of 
pleasing other men?" 
Women who neglect cleanliness 
are peculiarly liable to give out unpleasant 
odors. So it is with bad breath. This some- 
times arises from neglect of the teeth; some- 
times from diseases of the stomach; some- 
times from catarrh and the like. A husband 
is almost forced to hold at arm's length a 
wife with a fetid breath. 
Perspiration, especially about the 
feet, under the arms, and the like, 
causes a very unpleasant smell about many 
men and women. Now these disagreeable 
smells must, in some way, be removed if 
husband and wife are to retain each other's 
love. It is said that love enters through the 
nose. If that be true, it may well be said 
that love may be driven out through fetid, 
filthy feet. 
In true marriage, when all the 
conditions are favorable, and hus- 
band and wife spend much of their time to- 
gether, there is a natural tendency to assimi- 
late. Loving each other and admiring each 
Cleanliness 
Love Enters 
Through 
the Nose 
Conjugal 
Harmony Ethics of Marriage 
299 
other's qualities, they insensibly take on each 
other's characteristics, and finally grow into 
a strong personal resemblance of each other. 
Examples of this conjugal resemblance in 
couples who have lived long in happy mar- 
riage relations may be pointed out in almost 
every community. The harmony between 
such married people, instead of being lost or 
broken up by constantly recurring discords, 
becomes, year by year, sweeter and more 
complete. 
But there are cases in which the 
opposite result takes place. A 
good degree of congeniality may exist at the 
time of marriage, but may afterward be lost. 
Instead of climbing the hill of life hand in 
hand, as they should, they become separated 
in the crowd, and one is left far behind. 
They no longer see things from the same 
point of view, and the unity of thought and 
feeling which existed at first is destroyed. 
Sometimes the wife, confined to 
home by domestic duties; de- 
barred by maternity and the care of chil- 
dren from mingling in society; deprived, 
mainly by lack of time and opportunity, of 
the advantages of lectures and books; and 
Harmony 
Lost, 
Why? 
The Wife's 
Fault 300 
Personal Help for the Married 
finally, perhaps, losing her taste for intel- 
lectual pursuits, remains stationary, or rather 
deteriorates, intellectually, while her hus- 
band, mingling constantly in society with 
cultivated people, brought into daily con- 
tact with the great movements of the day, 
reading, thinking and attending lectures, is 
constantly advancing-gaining new ideas, 
new views of life, new interests and new as- 
pirations. The congeniality which drew 
them together in the beginning no longer 
exists. Harmony is lost. Instead of grow- 
ing toward each other, they have grown far 
apart-become mentally strangers to each 
other. 
In other cases it is the husband 
who falls behind in the journey 
of life. Giving himself up entirely to 
business, spending his days in his count- 
ing-room, going home fatigued, list- 
less and indisposed to study, conversation 
or thought, he neglects books, loses his 
interest in the new ideas and movements 
of the age, and instead of leading onward 
and upward the mind of his intelligent and 
perhaps ambitious wife, leaves her to find 
in others the intellectual companionship she 
It May Be 
the 
Husband Ethics of Marriage 
301 
craves. Relieved mainly from household 
cares by a housekeeper and servants, she 
reads, thinks, goes into society, mingles with 
cultivated and progressive people, and is 
constantly advancing in the path of mental 
improvement. There is the same loss of 
harmony as in the other case, and the final 
results are generally more disastrous. 
Homes whence wedded love has 
fled afford us life's pathetic 
scenes. Wedded love, blessed with the pray- 
ers of friends, hallowed by the sanction of 
God, rosy with present joys, and radiant with 
future hopes, dies not all at once. A hasty 
word casts a shadow upon it, and the shadow 
deepens with the sham reply. A little 
thoughtlessness misconstrued, a little unin- 
tentional negligence, deemed real, a little 
word misinterpreted-through such small 
channels do dissension and sorrow enter the 
family circle. 
Young married couples should 
think of this in time. Remember 
that growth is a law of nature. 
But if the conditions are unfavorable we be- 
come dwarfed and deteriorate, instead of 
Death of 
Wedded 
Love 
Mutual 
Growth, 
Law of 
Nature 302 
Personal Help for the Married 
improving. You should strive to attain the 
conditions requisite for mental progress, and 
to equalize them so as to grow up together 
in mind, as it were, keeping step in the on- 
ward march of life. There can be no solid 
and satisfactory happiness in the conjugal 
relation without a close sympathy in thought 
and feeling. To secure this, you must marry 
congenial partners; and to retain it, you must 
perpetuate the harmonious conditions exist- 
ing at marriage by equal advantages, so far 
as possible, for mental improvement after 
marriage. Be together as much as possible; 
read the same books and periodicals; talk 
about what you read; attend lectures; go 
together into society, or spend your evenings 
together at home; and in all things help 
each other to be true and good, to grow in 
grace, and in that knowledge which maketh 
wise unto salvation. 
PEACEFUL BLENDING 
I saw two clouds at morning, 
Tinged with the rising sun, 
And in the dawn they floated on 
And mingled into one: 
I thought that morning cloud was blest 
It moved so sweetly to the west. Ethics of Marriage 
303 
I saw two summer currents 
Flow smoothly to their meeting, 
And join their course, with silent force, 
In peace each other greeting: 
Calm was their course, through banks of green, 
While dimpling eddies played between. 
Such be your gentle motion, 
Till life's last pulse shall beat; 
Like summer's beam and summer's stream 
Float on, in joy, to meet 
A calmer sea, where storms shall cease- 
A purer sky, where all is peace. 
-Brainard, CHAPTER XVIII 
AFTER MARRIAGE-THE CONSUMMATION OF 
MARRIAGE 
Its Signifi= 
cation 
Both legally and morally the 
prime object of marriage, re- 
garded from a social point of view, is the 
continuation of the species. Hence until the 
preliminary steps to this end are taken, the 
marriage is said not to be consummated. 
The precise meaning of the expression is 
this: "The first time that the husband and 
wife cohabit together after the ceremony of 
marriage has been performed is called the 
consummation of marriage." A marriage, 
however, is complete without this in the eye 
of the law, as it is a maxim that consent, 
not cohabitation, is the binding element in 
the ceremony. 
A sage morality throughout most 
civilized lands prohibits any an- 
ticipation of the act until the civil officer or the 
priest has performed the rite. The experience 
A Wise 
Restraint 
304 After Marriage 
305 
of the world proves the wisdom of this, for any 
relaxation of the laws of propriety in this 
respect are fraught, not only with injury to 
society, but with loss of self-respect to the 
individual. Those couples that under any 
plea whatever, allow themselves to trans- 
gress this rule, very surely lay up for them- 
selves a want of confidence in each other 
and a source of mutual recrimination in the 
future. True as this is shown to be by con- 
stant experience, yet there have been and 
still are communities in which the custom 
is current of allowing and even encouraging 
such improper intimacies. 
Usually marriage is consummated 
within a day or two of the cere- 
mony. In Greece the excellent rule prevails 
that at least three days shall be allowed to 
elapse between the rite and the act, and it 
were well if this rule were general. In most 
cases the bride is nervous, timid, exhausted 
by the labor of preparation and the excite- 
ment of the occasion-indeed, in the worst 
possible frame of body and mind to bear the 
great and violent change which the marital 
relation brings with it. 
When Con= 
summated 306 
Personal Help for the Married 
The Bridal 
Chamber 
The first hour in the bridal 
chamber is, to the delicate and 
sensitive young wife, one of severest trial. 
However much she may respect her husband, 
she realizes that he is to her almost a 
stranger. Yet she should not hesitate. With- 
out a trace of prudishness, she should forget 
herself in perfect love and trust. 
The young husband should fully appre- 
ciate the feelings of his bride. With deli- 
cate consideration he should strive to spare 
her modesty. To urge his attentions upon 
her would be little less than brutal. He 
should regard her, not as within his power, 
but as under his protection. By tender 
caresses he may try to win her to him, but 
let desire wait her invitation. 
The consequence is that in re- 
peated instances the thoughtless- 
ness and precipitancy of the young husband 
lay the foundation for numerous diseases of 
the womb and nervous system, and for the 
gratification of a night he forfeits the com- 
fort of years. Let him at the time when 
the slow-paced hours have at last brought 
to him the treasures he has so long been 
coveting, administer with a frugal hand and 
Danger 
Ahead! After Marriage 
307 
with wise forethought. Let him be consider- 
ate, temperate and self-controlled. He will 
never regret it if he defer for days the exer- 
cise of those privileges which the law now 
gives him, but which are more than disap- 
pointing if seized on in an arbitrary, coarse 
or brutal manner. 
There is no more infallible sign 
of a low and vulgar man than to 
hear one boast or even to mention the occur- 
rences on the nuptial night. Who does so, 
set him down as a fellow devoid of all the 
finer feelings of his own sex, and incapable 
of appreciating those of the other. While 
the newly married man should act so that 
his tender solicitude and kind consideration 
could only reflect credit on himself, were 
they known, he should hide them all under 
a veil of reticence. 
A husband should be aware that 
while, as a rule, the first conjugal 
approaches are painful to the new wife, and 
therefore that she only submits and can not 
enjoy them, this pain should not be excess- 
ively severe, nor should it last for any great 
length of time-not more than one or two 
A Sign of 
Low 
Breeding 
Painful to 
the Bride 308 
Personal Help for the Married 
weeks. Should the case be otherwise, then 
something is wrong; and if rest does not 
restore the parts, a physician should be con- 
sulted. 
It is especially necessary that 
great moderation be observed at 
first, an admonition which we the more 
urgently give because we know it is needed, 
and because those specialists who devote their 
time to diseases of women are constantly 
meeting patients who date their months and 
years of misery from the night of the con- 
summation of marriage. 
We have now to consider the 
cases where for some incapacity 
on the one side or the other it is not possible 
to consummate marriage. When an inca- 
pacity of this kind is absolute or incurable, 
and when it existed at the time of the cere- 
mony of marriage, both the ecclesiastical law 
and the special statutes of several of the 
American states, declare the marriage void 
and of no effect. But the suit must be 
brought by the injured party, and he or she 
naturally incapable can not allege that fact 
in order to obtain a divorce. 
A Source of 
Misery 
Obstacles 
to Consum- 
mation After Marriage 
309 
An incapacity for marriage may exist in 
either sex, and it may be in either temporary 
or permanent. 
The most common catue of a 
temporary character is an excess- 
ive sensitiveness of the part. This may be 
so great that the severest pain is caused by 
the introduction of a narrow sounder, and 
the conjugal approaches are wholly unbear- 
able. Inflammation of the passage to the 
bladder, of some of the glands, and various 
local injuries are also absolute but tempo- 
rary barriers. Any of these are possible, and 
no man with a spark of feeling in his compo- 
sition will urge his young wife to gratify his 
desires at the expense of actual agony to 
herself. 
Conditions of this kind require long and 
careful medical treatment, and though it is 
disagreeable to have recourse to this, the 
sooner it is done the better for both parties. 
A permanent obstacle is occasion- 
ally interposed by a hymen of 
unusual rigidity. It is rare, indeed, that this 
membrane resists, but occasionally it foils 
the efforts of the husband, and leads to a 
On Part of 
the Bride 
The 
Hymen 310 
Personal Help for the Married 
belief on his part that his wife is incapable 
of matrimony. 
A complete or partial absence of 
the vagina forms an absolute and 
generally incurable obstacle to conjugal duty 
on the part of the woman. Such a condition 
may arise from an injury received earlier in 
life, and which has allowed the sides to 
contract and grow together; or she may have 
been so from birth. 
Virility is from the Latin vir, 
meaning man. A want of viril- 
ity, then, is being incapable of performing 
the functions of a man. Virility depends 
upon the ability of a man to secrete the 
sperm. In that sperm, as one of its parts, is 
the spermatozoa, the life-transmitting power. 
The spermatozoa are exceedingly 
numerous and active when the 
secretion is healthy. A single one of them 
-and there are many hundreds in a drop- 
is sufficient to bring about conception in a 
female. They not only have a rapid vibra- 
tory motion, but singular vitality. 
They are not, however, always present, and 
when present may be of variable activity 
Tne 
Vagina 
Want of 
Virility in 
Man 
Sperma= 
tazoa After Marriage 
311 
In young men, just past puberty, and in aged 
men, they are often scarce and languid in 
motion. Occasionally they are entirely ab- 
sent in otherwise hale men, and this is one 
of the causes of sterility in the male. Their 
presence or absence can only be detected by 
the microscope. 
The organs in which this secretion is 
elaborated from the blood are the testicles. 
A secretion is formed before 
puberty, but it is always without 
these vibratory bodies. Only after that 
period is it formed healthily and regularly 
by the proper glands. 
Observers have noted that the secretion 
produced soon after puberty is feeble, and 
generally fruitless, or if capable of fecundat- 
ing, the child thus produced is weakly and 
apt to be disposed to disease. 
A medical writer says: "In losing 
the virile powers at an age when 
it should be vigorous, man loses his self- 
respect, because he feels himself fallen in 
importance in relation to his species. There- 
fore the loss of virile power, real or sup- 
posed, produces an effect more overpowering 
than that of honors, fortune, friends or rela- 
Before 
Puberty 
Man Loses 
Self= 
Respect 312 
Personal Help for the Married 
tives; even the loss of liberty is as nothing 
compared to this internal and continual 
torture. 
There are some individuals who 
are rarely or never troubled by the prompt- 
ings of nature to perpetuate life, and yet are 
by no means incapable of doing so. They 
are indeed few in number, and are usually 
slow in mind and of an extremely lymphatic 
and lethargic temperament. They experi- 
ence very little desire and no aversion 
toward the opposite sex. 
A want of desire does, however, often 
occur under circumstances which give rise to 
great mental trouble. It may have many 
causes; some mental, others physical. Pro- 
longed and rigid continence, excesses either 
with the other sex or in solitary vice, a poor 
and insufficient diet or the abuse of liquors 
and the pleasures of the table, loss of sleep, 
severe study, constant thought, mental disturb- 
ances, as sorrow, anxiety or fear, the abuse 
of tobacco, drugs, etc., all may lead to the 
extinction of the sexual feelings. 
When lethargy arises from age or local 
disease it must be met by a judiciously regu- 
Lethargy After Marriage 
313 
lated medical treatment which we can not 
detail here. 
It is not uncommon to find desire 
present, and yet the consummation of mar- 
riage to be impossible from a want of power, 
although the individual is by no means im- 
potent. This condition is called "false im- 
potence," and often causes great alarm, 
though generally unnecessarily. In persons 
of nervous temperaments, though otherwise 
perfectly healthy, the force of imagination, 
the novelty, the excitement and the trepida- 
tion attendant upon the ceremony of mar- 
riage completely overpower them, and they 
are terrified to find it impossible to perform 
the duties of their new relation. Sometimes 
this state of the system lasts for days, weeks 
and months. Recollecting, perhaps, some 
early sins, the young husband believes him- 
self hopelessly impotent, and may in despair 
commit some violent act forever to be re- 
gretted. 
True impotence consists of want 
of power, not once, but habitu- 
ally; not only with prostitutes, but with those 
whom we most love; not under unfavorable 
circumstances, but during long periods of 
Debility 
Impotence 
of Man 314 
Personal Help for the Married 
time, say five, fifteen or twenty years. Actual 
impotence during the period of manhood is 
a very rare complaint, and nature very un- 
willingly, and only after the absolute neglect 
of sanitary laws, gives up the power of 
reproduction. 
Not only sensual women, but all, 
without exception, feel deeply 
hurt, and are repelled by the husband whom 
they may previously have loved dearly, 
when, after entering the marriage state, they 
find that he is impotent. The more inexperi- 
enced and innocent they were at the time of 
marriage, the longer it often is before they 
find that something is lacking in their hus- 
band; but, once knowing this, they infallibly 
have a feeling of contempt and aversion for 
him. It is the knowledge that they are be- 
coming contemptible and disgusting to their 
wives that brings so many young husbands, 
fearing they are impotent, to the physician. 
Unhappy marriages, barrenness, divorces, 
and perchance an occasional suicide, may be 
prevented by the experienced physician who 
can give correct information, comfort and 
consolation when consulted on this subject, 
Aversion of 
Wife to 
Husband After Marriage 
315 
Under no circumstances should 
he adopt the scandalous and dis- 
gusting advice which immoral associates 
may give him, to experiment with lewd 
women in order to test his powers. Such 
an action must meet with unequivocal con- 
demnation from every point of view. Should 
there be good medical reasons to believe that 
he is actually impotent, he must not think 
of marriage. Such an act would be a fraud 
upon nature, and the laws of church and 
state both declare such a union null and void. 
Yet even with this imperfection he need 
not give way to despair or to drink. 
Old Age The period of virility in man, 
like that of child-bearing in women, is natur- 
ally limited to but a fraction of the whole 
term of life. The physiological change 
which takes place in the secretion in ad- 
vanced years deprives it of the power of 
transmitting life, and at last the vigor of the 
function is lost. 
Venereal diseases lead, more fre- 
quently than do any other class 
of maladies, to permanent, incur- 
able impotence. They may do so either by 
Let Lewd 
Women 
Alone 
Impotence 
and 
Venereal 
Diseases 316 
Personal Help for the Married 
an actual destruction of the part, or by excit- 
ing inflammation in the secretory apparatus, 
or by attacking the adjacent parts. 
Malformations in man is another 
cause of impotence. These may 
be natural, dating from birth, or accidental 
from injury, or from some necessary surgical 
operation, or from design, as in the case of 
eunuchs. 
Self-abuse causes perversion of 
feeling and debility, but does not 
affect the character of the secretions, except 
when carried to great excess. It leads to 
debility, but exceedingly rarely to perma- 
nent incapacity. 
Obesity may lead to impotence, 
either mechanically, by causing such an un- 
wieldy growth that the conjugal relation is 
rendered impossible, or by diminishing desire 
and power. 
Fat children sometimes never manifest in 
after years any desire for the opposite sex, 
and there are examples of young men thirty 
years old who were completely devoid of 
feeling from the same cause. 
Malforma= 
tions and 
Impotence 
Self=Abuse 
and 
Impotence 
Obesity After Marriage 
317 
The remedy for such a condition is to ob- 
serve a regimen which will reduce the flesh 
without impairing the strength. 
The habitual use of opium in- 
duces a general prostration of 
the nervous system and a debility of the 
powers of generation, which in the slaves 
to those pernicious habits passes into com- 
plete impotence. 
General malnutrition of the body, lead 
poisoning, diabetes and some diseases of the 
spinal cord, also may bring about this con- 
dition. 
sterility It is possible for a man to con- 
summate marriage when it is utterly im- 
possible for him to have children. His 
power of transmitting life is gone forever. 
That is, impotence and sterility do not mean 
the same thing. 
Conditions The conditions of sterility in man 
sterility may arise either from a condition 
of the secretions which deprives it of its 
fecundating powers, or it may spring from 
a malformation which prevents its reaching 
the point where fecundation takes place. 
Other 
Causes 
v.i-» 318 
Personal Help for the Married 
The condition of sterility is the most com- 
mon in old age, and as a sequence of vene- 
real disease, or from a change in the struc- 
ture or functions of the glands. 
Sterility from malformation has its origin 
in a stricture or in an injury or in debility. 
Where sterility depends upon a 
deficient secretion of the seminal 
fluid, the patient may have a fair chance of 
improvement, always provided no organic 
disease is present. A regulated diet, tonics 
and a change of climate will do much; but 
it is the judicious application of electricity 
from which most is to be hoped. 
The value of this medicinal agent in de- 
bility and failure of the generative powers 
has long been recognized by professional 
men. It acts as a powerful stimulant, and 
when combined with proper general treat- 
ment holds out a promise of improvement 
and often of cure in most cases where no 
structural change has taken place. But it 
is a useless and even a dangerous remedy in 
ignorant hands. 
Those who ignorantly and rashly 
imagine that excessive passion is 
a mark of vastly increased vigor, and felici- 
Electricity 
a Remedy 
Excessive 
Passion 
Dangerous After Marriage 
319 
tate themselves on the change, will have 
bitterly to rue their error in after years. 
It is evident that wedded life is 
the best condition for man. Mor- 
tifying the flesh to subdue the sexual pas- 
sions, as is practiced by ascetics, is more apt 
to concentrate the attention of the mind on 
the very things sought to be avoided. 
Purity of thought is better accomplished 
by turning the thoughts, through the action 
of the will, from sexual things toward the 
non-sexual. One who has insufficient sleep 
is always sleepy. One with insufficient food 
is always hungry. Sexual instincts properly 
satisfied relieve the mind of sexual thoughts. 
The marriage state makes it possible for man 
and woman to live a life of continence more 
successfully than by living a single life. 
Statistics show that married men 
live longer than bachelors. Mar- 
ried, child-bearing women live longer than 
spinsters. Wives also have better health 
than their unmarried sisters. This, too, in 
spite of the added dangers associated with 
childbirth. Many delicate and ailing women 
have become robust during the rest of their 
Marriage 
Natural and 
Beneficial 
Long Life 
and 
Marriage 320 
Personal Help for the Married 
lives after marriage and the birth of one or 
more children. 
Nature seems to compensate the mother 
for her pains and care of maternity. 
We are able to state, on many 
good authorities, that marriage 
purifies the complexion, removes blotches 
from the skin, invigorates the body, gives a 
freedom and elasticity of carriage, a full and 
firm tone of voice, and is the medium 
through which nature makes the human 
species tranquil, happy, healthy, contented, 
useful and wise. 
Kissing, embracing, sitting in 
lover's lap, leaning on his breast, 
long periods of secluded companionship are 
dangerous conditions. Thoughtful parents 
should have a profound fear at the dangers 
surrounding such a state of affairs. It is a 
marvel that so many ladies arrive safely at 
the wedding day. If our young women real- 
ized the danger of arousing the sexuality 
even of the best men, they would shudder at 
the risk they run. Don't do it, ladies! 
The enjoyments of that delightful period 
of life between the betrothal and marriage 
should not be unreasonably curtailed. 
Other 
Physical 
Benefits 
Liberties 
Before 
Marriage After Marriage 
321 
A Warning 
It is said, "A woman in love will 
refuse nothing to a persistent lover." We do 
not believe it is true; but still we recognize 
the fact that here is danger. We doubt the 
genuineness of the "lover" who "persistently" 
would seek the ruin of the one he loves. 
But the element of sensuality is very strong 
in many men, and if there is a want of moral 
tone in the supposed lover, both the man and 
maiden may be swept into ruin. 
The consummation of marriage 
with a virgin is by no means 
necessarily attended with a flow of blood, 
and the absence of this sign is not the slight- 
est presumption against her former chastity. 
In stout blondes it is even the exception 
rather than the rule; and in all young women 
who have suffered from leucorrhea, the parts 
are relaxed and flowing does not occur. 
So, too, the presence or absence of the 
hymen is no test. Frequently it is absent 
from birth, and in others it is of exceeding 
tenuity, or only partially represented. There 
is, in fact, no sign whatever which allows 
even an expert positively to say that a woman 
has or has not suffered the approaches of one 
of the opposite sex. 
Tests of 
Virginity 
Unreliable 322 
Personal Help for the Married 
The true and only test which any man 
should look for is modesty in demeanor be- 
fore marriage, absence both of assumed ig- 
norance and a disagreeable familiarity, and 
a pure and religious frame of mind. Where 
these are present, he need not doubt that he 
has a faithful and chaste wife. 
The practice of married people 
varies according to the views held 
by different individuals. It is 
sad to know that multitudes of married 
couples go at this matter in a "slam-bang" 
way, merely as uncontrolled passion dictates, 
thus impairing themselves and their offspring. 
There are three theories, as follows: 
1. Those who claim that the sexual rela- 
tion should never be entered into except for 
procreation. 
2. Those who believe that it is a love act. 
3. Those who hold that sexual intercourse 
is a physical necessity for man, but not for 
woman. 
Perhaps Dr. Cowan's statement of 
what he calls true continence will 
make this matter clear. He says: "The high- 
est enjoyable season at which a healthy 
woman desires sexual congress is immedi- 
Different 
Views on 
Sexual 
Union 
First 
Theory 
Discussed After Marriage 
323 
ately following the cessation of her monthly 
menses, and this is the season in which the 
reproductive element is most intensified, and 
when her whole organism is ready to take 
on the loving and holy duties of reproduc- 
tion-the originating and developing of a 
new life. 
"The man and wife come together at this 
period with the desire for offspring; impreg- 
nation and conception follow, and from that 
time until the mother has again menstruated 
-which occurs after the weaning of the 
child, which in duration extends to about 
eighteen or twenty-one months-sexual inter- 
course should not be had by either husband 
or wife. 
11 'Do you mean that the man should have 
no sexual intercourse for twenty-one months?' 
"That is precisely what is meant-pre- 
cisely what nature intended. This is the 
only true solution of God's divine law in the 
government of the reproductive element in 
mankind. 
"A continent man, therefore, is one who 
possesses the power to reproduce his species, 
and who, through a true life and firm will, 
exercises his reproductive element only at 324 
Personal Help for the Married 
the right seasons, and only for the purpose of 
reproduction." The italics are Dr. Cowan's. 
It is not impossible to live up to the theory 
thus advanced. We have shown in another 
volume of this series that there are other 
uses for the reproductive element in man 
than the generation of offspring. But the 
altitude is too high for the great mass of 
mankind. 
The second theory (that coition 
is a love act) seems to us to be 
within the bounds of possibility, and has 
some things in its favor. 
The act should be mutual on the part of 
man and wife; and when procreation is not 
desired, care should be taken as to the proper 
time in relation to the monthly period. 
This act is a mutual exchange of love, giv- 
ing health and vigor to each. But more 
than all, it keeps alive tha>t flame of sacred 
fire which burns in the breasts of a truly 
wedded pair. It is an inexplicable bond of 
union. There is no such thing as "Platonic 
love" between the sexes; but there is some- 
thing better-conjugal, maternal and pater- 
nal love. 
The 
Second 
Theory After Marriage 
325 
Sex force is the basis of all the nobler 
attributes of mankind. When Christ wished 
to illustrate that invisible, loving bond of 
union between Himself and His people, He 
used conjugal love as a symbol-He is the 
bridegroom, the church is the bride. 
Herein is where the second theory sur- 
passes both the first and the third. Sepa- 
ration breeds coldness; presence and associ- 
ation give warmth to both love and friendship. 
By the third theory, the supposed demands 
of the husband lead almost universally to 
over-indulgence, and cause the wife many 
times to all but abhor the sexual presence of 
her lascivious husband. 
What are some of the results of 
the third theory? Let us see. 
1. In the marriage relation, it requires the 
wife to be man's prostitute, that the husband 
may meet the necessities (?) of his nature. 
2. In the unmarried state, it leads to one 
or all of the following: Prostitution, forni- 
cation, masturbation, or some other abomin- 
able practice. 
3. In any state, it teaches a double stan- 
dard of morals, one for man and another for 
The Third 
Theory 326 
Personal Help for the Married 
woman. In such conditions there is no room 
for Miss Willard's "A White Life for Two." 
4. It leads, logically, to over-indulgence in 
the sexual act. Parents and children are 
made to suffer. It lowers the whole moral 
and physical tone of the race. Men and 
women lose their vitality; the children are 
puny, scrawny beings, many of whom in 
early life pass to untimely graves. 
We repeat again the statement we have 
already made: It is not necessary to health 
to expend man's sexual force. CHAPTER XIX 
HUSBAND AND WIFE-THE MARRIAGE BED 
The Bed= 
Chamber 
The bed-chamber should be large 
and airy. But very few bed- 
chambers are sufficiently large to afford 
plenty of fresh air without some form of 
ventilation. No one or two or three or more 
should sleep in an ordinary bedroom with- 
out ventilation. 
Should husband and wife sleep 
in the same bed? This is cus- 
tomary in America; it is the rule, but, of 
course, there are exceptions. There are good 
reasons for both customs. In the light of 
hygiene, pure and simple, the argument for 
the single bed is decisive. 
It is also claimed that the temptation to 
sexual over-indulgence is too great. The 
close and constant contact of bodies leads 
to excitement, and therefore requires greater 
will-power to overcome the temptation. 
In the 
Same Bed 
327 328 
Personal Help for the Married 
On the other hand, in sleeping apart there 
is loss of that affection which should subsist 
between man and wife. In the separation of 
husband and wife there is danger that the 
bond of union may be loosened and possibly 
broken. Separation breeds coldness, distrust 
and indifference. Nearness of body leads to 
a nearness of spirit, and mutual trust and 
love are fostered by the fact of contiguity. 
Only when disease, or some voca- 
tion which leads to disturbed 
slumbers, is to be taken into account, do we 
recommend the opposite plan. Consumption 
is contagious, and of course many chronic 
skin diseases notoriously are so; and if pres- 
ent, it is too severe a demand for the sufferer 
to make that a healthy person should need- 
lessly be exposed to the danger of illness. 
Women have more delicate sensi- 
bilities than men; they are read- 
ily pleased or repulsed by little things; the 
husband who is anxious to maintain pleas- 
ant relations in his home circle will do well 
not to neglect the cares of toilet. 
Frequent changes of underclothing are 
desirable on this account, as well as for 
general hygienic reasons, and any pains be- 
An 
Exception 
Neatness 
of Attire Husband and Wife-The Marriage Bed 
329 
stowed on keeping the attire neatly arranged 
and well cared for will not be lost. 
There are many females who 
never feel any sexual excitement 
whatever; others, again, to a limited degree, 
are capable of experiencing it. The best 
mothers, wives and managers of households 
know little or nothing of the sexual pleasure. 
Love of home, children and domestic duties 
are the only passions they feel. As a rule, 
the modest woman submits to her husband, 
but only to please him; and, but for the 
desire of maternity, would far rather be 
relieved from his attentions. This is doubly 
true of women during the periods when they 
are with child, and when they are nursing. 
Jeremy Taylor, the quaint old 
English divine, says: "Married 
people must be sure to observe the order of 
nature and the ends of God. He is an ill hus- 
band that uses his wife as a man treats a harlot, 
having no other end but pleasure. The 
pleasure should always be joined to one or 
another of these ends-with a desire for chil- 
dren, or to avoid fornication, or to lighten 
and ease the cares and sadness of household 
affairs, or to endear each other, but never 
Passion in 
Women 
Hallowed 
Pleasures 330 
Personal Help for the Married 
with a purpose, either in act or desire, to 
separate the sensuality from these ends which 
hallow it. 
"Married people must never force them- 
selves into high and violent lusts with arts 
and misbecoming devices, but be restrained 
and temperate in the use of their lawful 
pleasures." 
There are certain periods when a 
complete cessation should be ob- 
served. One of these is during the monthly 
sickness of the wife, and for a day or two 
after that epoch. 
The Mosaic law pronounces a woman 
"unclean" for a number of days after her 
monthly illness. 
During pregnancy and nursing, conjugal 
relations should be few and far between. 
Some authorities condemn them altogether. 
Perhaps that is somewhat extravagant. With 
care, they may do no harm. Miscarriage 
is sometimes caused by too violent action. 
During and after the change of 
life, it is also important to ob' 
serve an unwonted moderation. During that 
period any unaccustomed excitement of this 
character may be followed by flooding and 
Complete 
Cessation 
A Danger- 
ous Period Husband and Wife-The Marriage Bed 
331 
other serious symptoms, while after the crisis 
has been passed, the sexual appetite itself 
should wholly or almost wholly disappear. 
The married man who thinks that 
because he is a married man he 
can commit no excess, no matter how often 
the sexual act is repeated, will suffer as cer- 
tainly and as seriously as the debauchee who 
acts on the same principle in his indulgences, 
perhaps more certainly from his very igno- 
rance, and from his not taking those pre- 
cautions and following those rules which a 
career of vice is apt to teach a man. Till he 
is told, the idea never enters his head that 
he has been guilty of great and almost crim- 
inal excess, nor is this to be wondered at, as 
such a cause of disease is seldom hinted at 
by the medical man he consults. 
The nature of excess may be two- 
fold; either it is a long-continued 
indulgence beyond the average power of the 
man to withstand, or it is brief and violent. 
"A great excess for a few days 
only, acting like a 'shock,' may 
manifest its consequences in the nervous sys- 
tem at a long distant subsequent period. A 
Danger of 
Excess 
Nature of 
Excess 
A Noted 
Physician's 
Opinion 332 
Personal Help for the Married 
sudden, short, yet great excess may be more 
dangerous than more moderate, albeit ex- 
cessive indulgence, extending over a long 
period. In certain constitutions, although 
only indulged in legitimately and for a short 
period, as after marriage, such excess may act 
like a shock or concussion of the spinal cord, 
or like a blow on the head, and may give 
rise to serious chronic diseases, as epilepsy, 
insanity and paralysis." 
A foolish notion sometimes pre- 
vails that it is necessary to health 
to have frequent intercourse. There is no 
condition of life more thoroughly in accord- 
ance with perfect vigor than chaste celibacy. 
Next to this comes moderation in married 
life. It is never required for sanitary reasons 
to abuse the privileges which law and usage 
grant. Any such abuse is pretty sure to bring 
about debility and disease. 
Generally speaking, the hygienic 
rule is that after the act the body 
should feel well and strong, the sleep should 
be sound, and the mind clear. Whenever 
this is not the case, when the limbs feel 
languid, the appetite feeble or capricious, 
the intellect dull and the faculties sluggish, 
A Foolish 
Notion 
A General 
Rule Husband and Wife-The Marriage Bed 
333 
then there is excess, and the act should be 
indulged in more rarely. 
Those that observe strictly this rule will 
need no other, and will incur no danger from 
immoderate indulgence. 
The differences of the sexes, the 
emotions which depend upon 
these differences, and the institution of mar- 
riage are primarily and directly existent for 
the purpose of transmitting life, or, to put it 
more plainly, for having children. Every 
married couple must distinctly and con- 
stantly impress this truth upon their minds, 
and be governed by it in their life. What- 
ever relations they bear to each other, what- 
ever duties they may owe to society and 
themselves, all of them are subordinate to 
the paramount obligation of having and rais- 
ing a family. We care not what excuse may 
be imagined in order to escape this duty, it 
is inadmissible. Nothing short of positive 
incapacity can exculpate either party. 
It is not only their duty to have, 
not merely a child or two, but a 
family of children; but also to do all in their 
power that their offspring have all the nat- 
ural advantages which it is possible to give 
Transmit' 
ting of Life 
Season for 
Conception 334 
Personal Help for the Married 
them. It may not be generally known that 
this matter touches some of the most inti- 
mate and earliest relations of the married 
couple. But, nowadays, physicians at least 
are fully satisfied that the season and man- 
ner of conception, the condition of father and 
mother at the time, and several attending 
circumstances, exercise a most important in- 
fluence on the newly-formed being. 
Every human being originates 
from an egg. Every one of us 
commenced our existence in an egg. The 
human egg, however, has no shell, and is not, 
as with fowls and many lower animals, de- 
posited outside the body. The female ma- 
tures one or several at each of her monthly 
periods, and they pass from the sac that has 
hitherto contained them on their way to the 
outer world. They are so minute that they 
are hardly visible to the naked eye, and so 
delicate in structure that they readily perish. 
They remain a longer or a shorter time in 
their passage from the spot where they are 
formed to their destination, sometimes re- 
quiring but a day or two, at other times 
probably a week or two, 
Nature of 
Conception Husband and Wife-The Marriage Bed 
335 
The Egg 
and Sperm 
Meet 
During this passage, should they 
come in contact with the secretion 
of the male, the vibratory bodies called sper- 
matozoa surround the egg, penetrate into it 
perhaps, and fecundate it. At this moment 
conception has taken place, and a new mem- 
ber of the species has commenced its indi- 
vidual life. 
It will be understood that the 
spermatozoa of man (as in all 
mammalia) are living, active semi-animals, 
with the power of 
locomotion, while 
the female ovum 
is passive, with no 
power to move it- 
self from place to 
place. The ovum 
is moved by forces 
outside of itself; 
the spermatozoon 
seeks the ovum by 
its own inner 
force. Hence, if the spermatozoa be placed 
within the female vagina by any means, they 
will find their way into the womb, and if a 
ripe ovum is in place, there will be a union 
An Expla= 
nation 
SEMEN HIGHLY MAGNIFIED 336 
Personal Help for the Married 
of one of the spermatozoa (a spermatozoon) 
with the ovum, and thus a new life is 
brought into being. 
Union is not essential to 'mpreg- 
nation; it is possible for concep- 
tion to occur without congress. All that is 
necessary is that seminal animalcules enter 
the womb and unite there with the egg or 
ovum, as explained above. It is not essential 
that the semen be introduced through the 
medium of the male organ, as it has been 
demonstrated repeatedly that by means of a 
syringe and freshly obtained and healthy 
semen, impregnation can be made to follow 
by its careful introduction. 
Artificial 
Impreg= 
nation 
THE REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS 
1. The bladder, cut open by a crucial in- 
cision and the four flaps separated. 
2. The ureters. 
3. Their vesical orifices. 
4. Uvula vesicae. The triangle formed by 
the points at 3, 4 is the vesicle triangle. 
5. Superior fundus of the bladder. 
6. Bas fond of the bladder. 
7. The smooth center of the vesical tri- 
angle. Husband and Wife-The Marriage Bed 
337 
Fig. 370 
THE BLADDER AND URETHRA OF 
A MAN, LAID OPEN IN ITS 
WHOLE LENGTH 338 
Personal FFelp for the Married 
8. Verumontanum or caput gallinaginis. 
9. Orifice of the ductus ejaculatorius. 
10. Depression near the verumontanum. 
11. Ducts from the prostate gland. 
12. 13. Lateral lobes of the prostate gland. 
14. Prostatic portion of the urethra; just 
above is the neck of the bladder. 
15. Its membranous portion. 
16. One of Cowper's glands. 
17. The orifices of their excretory ducts. 
18. Section of the bulb of the urethra with 
its erectile tissue. 
19. Cut edges of the corpora cavernosa. 
20. Cut edges of the glans penis. 
21. Prepuce dissected off. 
22. Internal surface of the urethra laid 
open. 
23. Outer surface of corpora cavernosa. 
24. 25. Accelerator urinae muscle. 
26, 27, Erector penis muscle. 
THE FEMALE SEXUAL ORGANS 
The generative or reproductive organs of 
the human female are usually divided into 
the internal and external. Those regarded 
as internal are concealed from view and pro- 
tected within the body. Those that can be Husband and Wife-The Marriage Bed 
339 
readily perceived are termed external. The 
entrance of the vagina may be stated as the 
line of demarcation of the two divisions. 
1. The labia majora, or greater 
lips, and the 
2. Labia minora, or lesser lips, are formed 
by double folds extending downward from 
the mans veneris, the prominent eminence 
formed by fatty tissue, just above the organ. 
3. The clitoris is a prominent erectile 
structure situated at the upper part of the 
opening between the folds of the labia 
minora just where the lips come together. 
This is the counterpart of the glans penis in 
man. 
4. The hymen is a membranous fold which 
partly closes the opening to the vagina. 
5. Vulva is a term applied when speaking 
of all of these external parts. . 
1. The vagina is a . canal about 
five or six inches long, which 
extends from the vulva to the uterus. This 
organ is very distendible, and plays an im- 
portant part in childbirth. 
2. The uterus is situated between the blad- 
der and the rectum in the cavity of the 
pelvis. It is held in position by the broad 
External 
Organs 
Internal 
Organs 340 
Personal Help for the Married 
bands of peritoneum on each side, which ex- 
tend from the sides of the uterus to the walls 
of the pelvis, and is supported by the uterus. 
3. The fallopian tubes are two in number, 
situated one on each side of the uterus, in 
the broad ligament extending from the 
uterus to the sides of the pelvis. They con- 
vey the ova from the ovaries to the cavity 
of the uterus. 
4. The ovaries are oval shaped bodies situ- 
ated one on each side of the uterus, behind 
and below the fallopian tubes, in the poste- 
rior part of the broad ligament. They are 
about an inch and a half long, three-quarters 
of an inch wide, and one-third of an inch 
thick. Husband and Wife-The Marriage Bed 
341 
Fig. 401 
Female Organs of Generation 
Fig. 402 
Fig. 400 342 
Personal Help for the Married 
Fig. 400 
A SIDE VIEW OF THE VISCERA OF THE FEMALE PELVIS 
1. Symphysis Pubis. 
2. Abdominal Parietes. 
3. The Fat forming the 
Mons Veneris. 
4. The Bladder. 
5. Entrance of the Left 
Urethra. 
6. Canal of the Urethra. 
7. Meatus Urinarius. 
8. The Clitoris and its Pre- 
puce. 
9. Left Nympha. 
10. Left Labium Majus. 
11. Orifice of the Vagina. 
12. Its Canal and Trans- 
verse Rugae. 
13. The Vesico-Vagin al Sep- 
tum. 
14. The Vagino-Rectal Sep- 
tum, 
15. Section of the Perineum. 
16. Os Uteri. 
17. Cervix Uteri. 
18. Fundus Uteri. 
19. The Rectum. 
20. The Anus. 
21. Upper Portion of the 
Rectum. 
22. Recto-Uterine Fold of 
the Peritoneum. 
23. Utero-Vesical Reflection 
of the Peritoneum. 
24. The Peritoneum reflect- 
ed on the Bladder from 
the Abdominal Parietes. 
25. Last Lumbar Vertebra. 
26. The Sacrum. 
27. The Coccyx, Husband and Wife-The Marriage Bed 
343 
Fig. 401 
A VERTICAL SECTION THROUGH THE LINEA ALBA AND SYMPHY- 
SIS PUBIS SO AS TO SHOW THE BLADDER, VAGINA, UTERUS 
AND RECTUM IN SITU.-THE PERITONEUM HAS BEEN 
CUT AT THE POINTS WHERE IT IS REFLECTED 
1. Anterior Parietes of the 
Abdomen. 
2. Sub-Cutaneous Cellular 
Tissue. 
3. Hairs on the Mons Ve- 
neris. 
4. Cellular Tissue on the 
Mons Veneris. 
5. Rectus Abdominis of the 
Right Side. 
6. Right Labia Majora. 
7. Symphysis Pubis. 
8. The Clitoris. 
9. Its opposite Crus. 
10. Right Labia Minora. 
11. Orifice of the Vagina. 
12. Portion of the Left 
Labia Minora. 
13. The Fourchette, or Pos- 
terior Commissure of 
the Vulva. 
14. The Perineum. 
15. The Anus. 
16. A portion of the Integu- 
ments of the Buttock. 
17. Left Side of the Bladder. 
18. Neck of the Bladder. 
19. The Urethra. 
20. Meatus Urinarius. 
21. Entrance of the Left 
Ureter into the Bladder. 
22. Left Ureter cut off. 
23. Left Side of the Vagina. 
24. Left Side of the Neck of 
the Uterus outside of the 
Vagina. 
25. Fundus of the Uterus. 
26. Left Fallopian Tube sep- 
arated from the Peri- 
toneum. 
27. Its Fimbriated Extrem- 
ity- 
28. Its Entrance into the 
Uterus. 
29. Left Round Ligament. 
30. Left Ovary. 
31. Fimbriated Portion 
which unites the Tube to 
the Ovary. 
32. Insertion of the Liga- 
ment of the Ovary to 
the Uterus. 
33. Right Broad Ligament 
of the Uterus. 
34. Lower Portion of the 
Rectum. 
35. Rectum turned off and 
tied. 
36. The Peritoneum lining 
the Anterior Parietes of 
the Abdomen. 
37. The Peritoneum which 
covers the Posterior Pa- 
rietes of the Abdomek. 344 
Personal Help for the Married 
Fig. 402 
THE UTERUS, FALLOPIAN TUBES, OVARIES AND A PART OF THE 
VAGINA OF A FEMALE OF SIXTEEN YEARS. ON ONE SIDE 
THE TUBE AND OVARY IS DIVIDED VERTICALLY; THE OTHER 
SIDE IS UNTOUCHED. THE ANTERIOR PORTION OF THE 
UTERUS AND VAGINA HAVE ALSO BEEN REMOVED 
1. Fundus of the Uterus. 
2. Thickness of its Parieties 
anteriorly. 
3. External Surface of the 
Uterus. 
4. Section of the Neck of 
the Uterus. 
5. Section of the Anterior 
Lip. 
6. Its Posterior Lip un- 
touched. 
7. Cavity of the Uterus. 
8. Cavity of its Neck. 
9. Thickness of the Walls 
of the Vagina. 
10. Its Cavity and Posterior 
Parietes. 
11. Openings of Fallopian 
Tubes into Uterus. 
12. Cavity of the Left Tube. 
13. Its Pavilion. 
14. Corpus Fimbriatum. 
15. Its Union with the 
Ovary. 
16. Left Ovary vertically di- 
vided. 
17. The Vesicles in its Tis- 
sue. 
18. Ligament of the Ovary. 
19. Right Fallopian Tube, 
untouched. 
20. Its Corpus Fimbriatum. 
21. Right Ovary. 
22. The Broad Ligament, CHAPTER XX 
CHILD-BEARING-PREGNANCY 
Veneration 
for the 
Pregnant 
"In no period of her life is woman 
the subject of interest so pro- 
found and general as at the time when she 
approaches the sacred threshold of maternity. 
The young virgin and the new wife have 
pleased by their grace, spirit and beauty. 
The pregnant wife is an object of active 
benevolence and religious respect. It is in- 
teresting to note how, at all times and in all 
countries, she has been treated with consid- 
erate kindness and great deference. She has 
been made the subject of public veneration, 
and sometimes even of religious worship. 
At Athens and at Carthage the murderer 
escaped from the sword of justice if he 
sought refuge in the house of a pregnant 
woman. The Jews allowed her to eat for- 
bidden meats. The laws of Moses pro- 
nounced the penalty of death against all 
those who by bad treatment or any act of 
violence caused a woman to abort. 
345 346 
Personal Help for the Married 
Lycurgus compared women who died in 
pregnancy to the brave dead on the field of 
honor, and accorded to them sepulchral in- 
scriptions. In ancient Rome, where all citi- 
zens were obliged to rise and stand during 
the passage of a magistrate, wives were ex- 
cused from rendering this mark of respect, 
for the reason that the exertion and hurry 
of the movement might be injurious to them 
in the state in which they were supposed to 
be. In the kingdom of Pannonia all enceinte 
women were in such veneration that a man 
meeting one on the road was obliged, under 
penalty of a fine, to turn back and accompany 
and protect her to her place of destination. 
The Catholic church has in all times ex- 
empted pregnant wives from fasts. The 
Egyptians decreed, and in most Christian 
countries the law at the present time obtains, 
that if a woman shall be convicted of an 
offense the punishment of which is death, 
the sentence shall not be executed if it be 
proved that she is pregnant."-Geo. H. 
Napheys, M.D, 
One of the first signs of preg- 
nancy is that of the cessation of 
the menses. As a sign, it is not to be de- 
Signs of 
Pregnancy Child-Bearing--Pregnancy 
347 
pended upon by itself alone. Ceasing to be 
"unwell" may arise from various causes. In 
the great majority of cases, however, the 
menses cease to flow after conception has 
taken place. One sign, with many women, 
is an increase in the size of the neck, which 
usually occurs in a few days after conception. 
Sometimes women menstruate during the 
entire period of gestation. This, of course, 
is an abnormal condition and should be rem- 
edied. 
Again, women who have never menstru- 
ated have been known to bear children. 
Pregnancy seldom takes place under such 
conditions, but it is not an unusual occurrence 
for women not to menstruate from one preg- 
nancy to another. This indicates too rapid 
child-bearing. 
Morning sickness is regarded as 
one of the most reliable early 
symptoms. If it appears at all, it generally 
occurs within three weeks, and may present 
itself within a few days after conception. 
This derangement of the stomach is mani- 
fested in various ways. Frequently there is 
great loathing of food, nausea of a most dis- 
tressing character, and vomiting of anything 
taken into the stomach, particularly in the 
Morning 
Sickness 348 
Personal Help for the Marrieb 
morning. Many women, however, are never 
troubled with the morning sickness. There is 
also in some cases a certain longing for un- 
usual articles of food, and when not gratified 
in her fancies, the individual exhibits such 
disappointment that it is certainly better to 
indulge her vagaries, when not positively 
injurious. Usually all disturbances of the 
stomach disappear by the third or fourth 
month, the appetite becomes regular and 
the digestion good, and the whole body takes 
on an appearance of bloom and health. 
In the beginning of pregnancy 
there is often the desire to empty 
the bladder frequently, or there may be other 
annoying symptoms. These are chiefly due 
to the irritation caused by the pressure of 
the growing uterus against the bladder, and 
disappear after the first few weeks. 
Owing to the direct and intimate 
sympathy existing between the 
uterus and breasts, pregnancy is generally 
indicated by changes in the latter organs. 
They may become somewhat painful and 
swollen, the nipple is elevated, and the 
areola, or circle around it, assumes a dark 
brown hue, and is dotted with small tu- 
Urinary 
Troubles 
External 
Signs Child-Bearing-Pregnancy 
349 
bercles. The nipple enlarges, and as preg- 
nancy advances milk can be forced from it 
by pressure. Milk in the breasts, however 
minute in quantity, is a pretty sure sign, 
especially in a first pregnancy. Great im- 
portance is attached to the increased dark- 
ness in the color of the circle around the 
nipple, and it is a sign which rarely fails; 
like all presumptive signs of early pregnancy, 
though it can hardly be relied upon alone. 
Besides the changes in the nipple and the 
enlargement of the breast, the veins look 
more blue, and the whole substance is firmer 
and more knotty to the touch. 
Enlargement of the abdomen, though an 
invariable accompaniment of pregnancy, can 
not positively be relied upon as a symptom, 
as other causes may produce it; besides, in 
many cases the development of the abdomen 
is not observed till rather late. 
It may be occasioned by various causes. 
Instances are quite common where women 
have made careful preparation for confine- 
ment, only to be disappointed by finding 
they were suffering from some serious disease 
causing suppression of the menses. 
From the third to the eighth month the 
abdomen continues to enlarge. 
V.2-4 350 
Personal Help for the Married 
Quickening 
The movements of the child occur 
from the eighteenth to the twentieth week. 
Sometimes these motions begin as early as 
the third month, and then they are a feeble 
fluttering only, causing unnleasant sensations 
of fainting and nausea. 
The motion of the child is Regarded by 
women of experience as an unfailing sign. 
But cases are common where the throbbing 
of a tumor and other causes have been mis- 
taken for fetal movements. Though at first 
feeble, after a time the motions become more 
quick and frequent, and a woman is not only 
able to recognize her condition, but the very 
period of her pregnancy. 
In the fifth month there is a sign 
which, if detected, furnishes clear 
evidence of conception, and that is the sound of 
the child's heart. If the ear be placed on the 
abdomen over the womb, the beating of the 
fetal heart can sometimes be heard quite 
plainly; and by the use of a stethoscope, the 
sounds can be heard still more plainly. This 
is a very valuable sign, inasmuch as the 
presence of the child is not only ascertained, 
but also its position, and whether there are 
twins or more. 
The Fetal 
Heart Child-Bearing-Pregnancy 
351 
By the use of the stethoscope, 
during the last three months of 
pregnancy, may be ascertained 
the sex of the fetus; even without that in- 
strument, the inquirer, if he possess good 
hearing, may decide this; for science states 
that the number of beats to the minute of the 
fetal male heart is from 120 to 130; those of 
a female, from 140 to 150. The ear should 
be pressed firmly against the abdomen. In 
the same way, if two distinct pulse-beats of 
different rapidity are made out, twins may 
be suspected; especially if two prominences 
appear in the shape of the abdomen with 
some depression between; unusual size would 
be merely corroborative and not alone of par- 
ticular value for a decision. 
Some women are afflicted by the 
appearance of more or less promi- 
nent and dark yellowish-brown spots or 
patches on the face, generally upon the fore- 
head, nose and over the cheek bones. These 
disappear after the birth. 
While before the fifth month there is no 
one sign that rr ay be depended on with abso- 
lute certainty, any person with ordinary 
powers of observation will have little trouble 
Will It Be a 
Boy or a 
Girl, or 
Twins? 
Other 
Signs 352 
Personal Help for the Married 
in distinguishing pregnancy from other con- 
ditions that bear more or less resemblance. 
After the fetal heart-beat is detected no 
further difficulty will be experienced, for in 
that we have a sure sign of pregnancy. 
The morning sickness, though a valuable 
sign, is by no means constant. 
Even in the absence of some symptoms, 
there will not be much trouble, as a rule, to 
recognize the true condition, especially if 
the menses have ceased. 
The most wonderful of all the 
changes which attend- pregnancy 
are those in the nervous system. The woman 
is rendered more susceptible, more impres- 
sible. Her character is transformed. She is 
no longer pleasant, confiding, gentle and gay. 
She becomes hasty, passionate, jealous and 
bitter. But in those who are naturally fret- 
ful and bad-tempered a change for the better 
is sometimes observed, so that the members 
of the household learn from experience to 
hail with delight the mother's pregnancy as 
a period when clouds and storms give place 
to sunshine and quietness. Tn some rare 
cases, also, pregnancy confers increased force 
Changes in 
the Mind Child-Bearing-Pregnancy 
353 
EMBRYO OF THIRTY DAYS 
a, Head of Embryo; b, Eyes; c, Mouth; d, Neck; e, Chest; 
f, Abdomen; g, Extremity of Spine; h, h, Spinal Arch; 
k, Neck of Umbilical Vesicle; I, the Vesicle. 
FETAL SIDE OF 
PLACENTA 
a, a, a, Chorion; b, Villosities of Pla- 
centa; c, c, Amnion; d, Head of Em- 
bryo; e, Temples; f, interval between 
Eyes or Root of Nose; h, the Arms; 
i, the Abdomen; k, the Sexual Organs; 
I, I, Umbilical Cord; mt the internal 
portion of Cord. 
EMBRYO OF FORTY-FIVE DAYS 
MATERNAL SIDE OF 
PLACENTA 354 
MEDITATION Child-Bearing-Pregnancy 
355 
and elevation to the ideas, and augmented 
power to the intellect. 
If the precise day on which con- 
ception took place where known 
there would be no difficulty in calculating 
the time that delivery should occur. The 
usual number of days for the duration of 
pregnancy is two hundred eighty (280) days 
or forty (40) weeks. While this is the aver- 
age, there are undoubtedly cases in which the 
time is exceeded, or fallen short of, by a few 
days. 
First children are frequently born within 
less than 280 days; and the fact of a woman 
giving birth to her first child within a little 
less than nine months of her marriage, should 
not necessarily fix upon her the charge of 
unfaithfulness or bring her virtue into ques- 
tion. 
Different countries vary somewhat 
in their laws affecting the legit- 
imacy of children, though in the main there 
is not a wide variation. The usual legal 
time is fixed at hine calendar months, allow- 
ing a latitude of a few days on either side. 
France not call the legitimacy of a 
child into question who has been born three 
To Calcu= 
late Time of 
Birth 
Legitimate 
Birth 356 
Personal Help for the Married 
hundred days after the death or absence of 
the legal parent. According to the laws of 
Scotland, a child is a bastard who is born 
later than ten calendar months after the 
absence of the legal husband. 
Women about whom there can be 
no doubt have gone ten months 
with child, and cases have been reported of 
eleven, and even twelve months; but these 
are, of course, very exceptional, and about 
which some doubt might be entertained. On 
the contrary, there are many well-authenti- 
cated cases of children born seven months 
after conception. These varying cases have 
been the cause of much domestic trouble and 
even of divorces. The question of the ex- 
treme limit has always been an important 
one, interesting not only the parties con- 
cerned and the medical men, but bearing 
also much legal significance. 
It is customary among some 
women to count from the middle 
of the month after the appearance of the 
last menstruation; this is the most usual 
mode with all in fact, but taking into con- 
sideration the process of ovulation, the time 
during which the egg ripens and leaves the 
Unusual 
Cases 
Where to 
Commence 
to Count Child-Bearing-Pregnancy 
357 
ovary, it would appear that the period most 
liable to conception, and therefore the safest 
to count from, is that closely following or 
preceding menstruation. It is at those times 
that the germ from the male is most apt to 
meet with and impregnate the female egg. 
If a woman passes over the ninth month, 
she will probably go on to the tenth month 
before delivery takes place. 
Thin women become plump dur- 
ing pregnancy; symptoms of poor 
health often disappear at this time from the 
lives of many women. Nature seems to 
gather all her forces to ward off disease, and 
to guard both mother and child through the 
great process. Nothing can be more con- 
ducive to the good health of women than 
occasional child-bearing. If the reader does 
not believe this, let him (or her) take a 
little time to run over in mind the matrons 
on the one hand, and the spinsters and non- 
child-bearing wives on the other, and com- 
pare the two classes as to health and vigor. 
No woman of sense enough to follow the 
instructions of a proper treatise on child- 
bearing should make a bugaboo of any of 
the various stages of maternity, when all the 
Healthful* 
ness of 
Maternity 358 
Personal Help for the Married 
testimony is so overwhelmingly in favor of 
its healthfulness. 
The earliest period that a child 
can be brought into the world 
and live is not fully determined. It is a 
common opinion that a child can not live if 
born before seven months. But it is well 
known that sixth month's children and less 
have lived, grown to maturity, and enjoyed 
good health. 
The cases where a child lives when born 
under seven months are exceedingly rare; 
but after that age has been reached the 
chances are, under proper care, much in 
favor of the child, if well developed. 
Miscarriage is most frequent in 
the earlier months of gestation. Women 
who have had miscarriage once are liable 
to experience the same again at about the 
same time of pregnancy. 
Wives are too much in the habit 
of making light of miscarriages. 
They are much more frequently followed by 
disease of the womb than are confinements 
at full term. There is a greater amount of 
injury done to the parts than in natural labor. 
Premature 
Births 
Miscarriage 
Dangers to 
Mother Child-Bearing-Pregnancy 
359 
Menstruation soon returns; conception may 
quickly follow. Unhappily, there is no cus- 
tom requiring husband and wife to sleep 
apart for a month after a miscarriage as there 
is after a confinement. Hence, especially if 
there be any pre-existing uterine disease, or 
a predisposition thereto, miscarriage is a 
serious thing. 
The irritation oi hemorrhoids or 
straining at stool will sometimes 
provoke an early expulsion of a child. Ex- 
cessive intercourse by the newly married is a 
very frequent cause. Bathing in the ocean 
has been known to produce it. Nursing is 
exceedingly apt to do so. It has been shown 
by a distinguished medical writer that, in a 
given number of instances, miscarriage oc- 
curred in seventeen per cent, of cases in 
which the woman conceived while nursing, 
and in only ten per cent, where conception 
occurs at some other time. A wife, there- 
fore, who suspects herself to be pregnant, 
should wean her child. 
Over-exertion, over-excitement, a fall, a 
blow, any violent emotion, such as anger, 
sudden and excessive joy, or fright; running, 
dancing, horseback riding, riding over rough 
Causes of 
Miscarriage 360 
Personal Help for the Married 
roads, great fatigue, lifting heavy weights, 
purgative medicines, displacement of the 
womb, general ill-health, are all well-known 
causes of miscarriage, in addition to those 
before mentioned. 
The way to prevent miscarriage 
is to lead a quiet life, particularly during 
those days of each successive month when, 
under other circumstances, the woman would 
menstruate; and to abstain during those days 
not only from long walks and parties, but 
also from sexual intercourse. 
It is especially desirable to avoid a mis- 
carriage in the first pregnancy, for fear that 
the habit of miscarrying shall then be set 
up, which it will be very difficult to eradi- 
cate. Therefore newly-married women 
should carefully avoid all causes which are 
known to induce the premature expulsion 
of the child. If it should take place in spite 
of all precautions, extraordinary care should 
be exercised in the subsequent pregnancy, to 
prevent its recurrence. 
Interdict sexual intercourse until after the 
fifth month; for if the pregnancy pass be- 
yond this period, the chances of miscarriage 
will be much diminished. 
Prevention Child-Bearing-Pregnancy 
361 
If the symptoms of miscarriage, which 
may be expressed in the two words pain and 
flooding, should make their appearance, the 
doctor ought to be sent for at once, the wife 
awaiting his arrival in a recumbent position. 
He may even then be able to avert the im- 
pending danger. At any rate, his services are 
as necessary, and often even more so, as in a 
labor at full term. CHAPTER XXI 
PAINLESS PREGNANCY AND CHILDBIRTH 
The entire period of time from concep- 
tion to childbirth is for the wife a most 
critical time, for only at the cost of great 
physical suffering and danger does she real- 
ize the joys of motherhood. While this 
statement is world-wide in its application, 
civilized women of the most highly nervous 
and intellectual types suffer most, the reason 
being the pace at which we live in modern 
days has left a definite impress on woman- 
kind, making such drafts on their stores of 
nervous energy that it has shown in increas- 
ing severity of labor pains. 
Not many at the present day con- 
tend that pain in itself is a good 
thing. It indeed serves a useful purpose in 
the economy of life, since it warns us of 
broken laws, but that does not prevent us 
from making use of every means known to 
science to alleviate suffering in surgical 
operations. The discovery of anesthetics is 
Uses of 
Pain 
362 Painless Pregnancy and Childbirth 
363 
rightly regarded as one of the greatest 
achievements of modern science. Many deli- 
cate operations, which result in saving of life 
and restoration of health, would be impossible 
if the subject could not be rendered uncon- 
scious during the operation. But Sir James 
Simpson declares that, "the total sum of pain 
attendant upon natural labor is as great if not 
greater, than that attendant upon most sur- 
gical operations." 
This subject has been made the 
object of much careful research 
on the part of the medical profession, and 
valuable treatises have appeared covering 
the general subject containing directions how 
to secure a comfortable period of pregnancy 
and painless delivery. For practical home- 
life purposes, the hygienic rules to be ob- 
served during pregnancy may be summed up 
as follows: 1. An unconfined and lightly 
burdened waist. 2. Moderate but persistent 
outdoor exercise, of which walking is the 
best form. 3. A plain, unstimulating, chiefly 
fruit and vegetable diet. 4. Little or no 
intercourse during the time. These are hygi- 
enic rules of benefit under any ordinary con- 
ditions; yet they are violated by almost every 
Medical 
Research 364 
Personal Help for the Married 
"THE HOUSE WE LIVE IN" FOR NINE MONTHS: SHOWING 
THE AMPLE ROOM PROVIDED BY NATURE WHEN UN- 
CONTRACTED BY INHERITED INFERIORITY OF FORM OR 
ARTIFICIAL DRESSING 
A CONTRACTED PELVIS. DEFORMITY AND INSUFFICIENT SPACE Painless Pregnancy and Childbirth 
365 
pregnant woman. If hygienic rules are fol- 
lowed, biliousness, indigestion, constipation, 
swollen limbs, morning sickness and nausea, 
all will absent themselves or be much les- 
sened. 
The above is a statement in a "nutshell" 
of the whole matter of painless childbirth 
labor; but for emphasis we add some definite 
information. 
No tongue can tell, no finite mind 
can conceive, the misery tight lac- 
ing has produced, nor the number of deaths, 
directly or indirectly, of young women, bear- 
ing mothers and weakly infants it has occa- 
sioned. 
If the murderous practice continues an- 
other generation, it will bury all the middle 
and upper classes of women and children 
and leave propagation to the coarse-grained, 
but healthy, lower class. However, we are 
glad to add that a reform in this respect has 
set in of recent years. 
The weight of the skirts should 
rest entirely on the shoulders by means of 
straps. No weight or tightness should be 
permitted on the hips or around the waist. 
Tight . 
Lacing of 
Mothers 
Clothing 366 
Personal Help for the Married 
The amount of clothing should be suited 
to the season, but increased rather than 
diminished, owing to the great susceptibility 
of the system to the vicissitudes of the 
B 
The ribs bent almost to 
angles; the lungs contracted; 
the liver, stomach and intes- 
tines forced down into the 
pelvis, crowding the womb 
seriously. 
A 
The ribs of large curve; 
the lungs large and roomy; 
the liver, stomach and bow- 
els in their normal position; 
all with abundant room 
NATURE VERSUS CORSETS, ILLUSTRATED 
weather. It is especially important that flan- 
nel drawers should be worn during advanced 
pregnancy, as the loose dress favors the ad- 
mission of cold air to the unprotected 
parts of the body. Painless Pregnancy and Childbirth 
367 
Pressure upon the lower limbs, in 
the neighborhood of the knee or 
the ankle joint, should be avoided, more par- 
ticularly toward the last months. It is apt 
to produce enlargement and knotting of the 
veins, swelling and ulcers of the legs, by 
which many women are crippled during 
their pregnancies, and sometimes through life. 
Therefore the garters should not be tightly 
drawn, and gaiters should not be too closely 
fitted, though they should firmly support the 
ankle. 
Moderate exercise in the open air 
is proper and conducive to health during 
the whole period of pregnancy. It should 
never be so active nor so prolonged as to 
induce fatigue. Walking is the best form 
of exercise. Riding in a badly constructed 
carriage, or over a rough road, or upon 
horseback, as well as running, dancing, and 
lifting or carrying heavy weights, should be 
scrupulously avoided, being liable to cause 
rupture, severe flooding and miscarriage. 
Journeys are not to be taken. Exercise and 
fresh air are of the greatest importance to 
mother and child. The mother should not 
force herself to go to a certain place nor to 
Care of 
Lower 
Limbs 
Exercise 368 
Personal Help for the Married 
walk during a certain time in a day. As 
soon as fatigue is felt, stop walking. A tend- 
ency to indolence must be overcome. A 
gentle activity is better and beneficial. To- 
ward the end of pregnancy the wife should 
economize her forces. She should not re- 
main long standing or kneeling, nor sing in 
either of these postures. 
Those who have not been accus- 
tomed to bathing often should not begin the 
practice during pregnancy, and in any case 
great care should be exercised during the 
latter months. It is better to preserve clean- 
liness by sponging with tepid water than by 
entire baths. Foot baths are always danger- 
ous. Sea bathing sometimes causes miscar- 
riage, but sea air and the sponging of the 
body with salt water are beneficial. The 
shower bath is of course too great a shock 
to the system, and a very warm bath is too 
relaxing. In some women of a nervous 
temperament, a lukewarm bath taken occa- 
sionally at night during pregnancy has a 
calming influence. This is especially the 
case in the first and last month. But women 
of a lymphatic temperament and of a relaxed 
habit of body are always injured by the bath. 
Bathing Painless Pregnancy and Childbirth 
369 
Ventilation 
Attention should also be directed 
to keeping the atmosphere in the sitting and 
sleeping rooms of the house fresh. This can 
only be accomplished by constantly chang- 
ing it. The doors and windows of every 
room, while unoccupied, should be kept 
thrown open in the summertime, and opened 
sufficiently often in the winter to wash out 
the apartments several times a day with fresh 
air. The extremes of heat and cold are to be 
avoided with equal care. The house should 
be kept light. Young plants will not grow 
well in the dark; neither will the young 
child nor its mother flourish without sun- 
light. The ancients were so well aware of 
this that they constructed on the top of each 
house a solarium, or solar air bath, where 
they basked daily, in thin attire, in the 
direct rays of the sun. 
During pregnancy a large amount 
of sleep is required. It has a sedative in- 
fluence upon the disturbed nervous system 
of the mother. It favors, by the calmness of 
all the functions which attends it, the growth 
of the fetus. Neither the pursuit of pleasure 
in the evening, nor the observance of any 
trite maxims in regard to early rising in the 
Sleep 370 
Personal Help for the Married 
morning, should be allowed to curtail the 
hours devoted to sleep. At least eight hours 
out of the twenty-four can well be spent in 
bed. 
A tranquil mind is of the first 
importance to the pregnant woman. Gloomy 
forebodings should not be encouraged. Preg- 
nancy and labor are not, we repeat, diseased 
conditions. They are healthful processes, 
and should be looked upon as such by every 
woman. Bad labors are very infrequent. It 
is as foolish to dread them as it is for the 
railway traveler to give way to misgivings in 
regard to his safety. Instead of desponding, 
science bids the woman to look forward with 
cheerfulness and hope to the joys of maternity. 
The nourishment taken during 
pregnancy should be abundant, but not larger 
in quantity than usual in the early months. 
Excess in eating or drinking ought to be 
most carefully avoided. The food is to be 
taken at shorter intervals than is common, 
and it should be plain, simple and nutritious. 
Fatty articles, the coarser vegetables, highly 
salted and sweet food, if found to disagree, 
as is often the case, should be abstained from. 
The Mind 
Food Painless Pregnancy and Childbirth 
371 
The flesh of young animals-as lamb, veal, 
chicken and fresh fish-is wholesome, and 
generally agrees with the stomach. Ripe 
fruits are beneficial. The diet should be 
varied as much as possible from day to day. 
The craving which some women have in the 
night or early morning may be relieved by a 
biscuit, a little milk, or a cup of coffee. 
When taken a few hours before rising, they 
will generally be retained and prove very 
gratifying, even though the morning sick- 
ness be troublesome. Any food or medicine 
that will confine or derange the bowels is to 
be forbidden. The taste is, as a rule, a safe 
guide, and it may be reasonably indulged. 
But inordinate, capricious desires for im- 
proper, noxious articles should, of course, 
be opposed. . 
A FEW DON'TS FOR PREGNANT WOMEN 
1. Don't permit yourself to become con- 
stipated-no, not for one day. 
2. Don't permit yourself to become bilious. 
Use all your hygienic knowledge to keep 
yourself from becoming so. 
3. Don't force your appetite. Let hunger 
demand the food, 372 
Personal Help for the Married 
4. Don't be too sedentary in your habits. 
Take sufficient gentle exercise. 
5. Don't overwork or do heavy lifting and 
the like. 
6. Don't overtax the brain or the nervous 
system. Live a quiet life. 
7. Don't in any way confine the temporary 
home of the little one resting under your 
heart. 
8. Don't eat indigestible or constipating 
foods. 
Use of 
Anesthetics 
Is it possible to avoid the throes 
of labor, and have children with- 
out suffering? Yes. Medical art brings the 
waters of Lethe to the bedside of woman in 
her hour of trial. 
Anesthetics are now used successfully 
here as in surgery and other painful cases. 
Their administration is never pushed so as 
to produce complete unconsciousness, unless 
some operation is necessary, but merely so 
as to diminish sensibility and render the 
pains endurable. These agents are thus 
given without injury to the child, and with- 
out retarding the labor or exposing the 
mother to any danger. When properly em- 
ployed, they induce refreshing sleep, revive Painless Pregnancy and Childbirth 
373 
the drooping nervous system, and expedite 
the delivery. 
They should never be used in the absence 
of the doctor. He alone is competent to 
give them with safety. In natural, easy and 
short labor, where the pains are readily 
borne, they are not required. But in those 
lingering cases in which the suffering is 
extreme, and, above all, in those instances 
where instruments have to be employed, 
ether and chloroform have a value beyond 
all price. 
This is the name of a state of con- 
sciousness produced by a judicious 
use of narcotics whereby the blessings of 
painless labor are said to be assured. As at 
present applied, this method can not be suc- 
cessfully employed outside of a well-equipped 
hospital. It is, however, thought that further 
development in technic will enable it to be 
quite extensively employed in private practice. 
The problem is to find a remedy 
for the pangs of childbirth. 
Whatever assuages pain has a most bene- 
ficial effect on the health of the mother, and 
what is of equal importance, it lifts the 
Twilight 
Sleep 
The Aim 
Sought 374 
Personal Help for the Married 
burden of fear from her mind. Many feel 
that this problem is something far more than 
the abolishing of pain. It is rightfully re- 
garded as one of the most important prob- 
lems of modern times. Rightfully solved, it 
means more children (increasing birth rate) 
and healthier children; stronger, more con- 
tented and happier mothers, all of which 
means that the world itself will be better. 
This is the goal, to achieve which medical 
science is putting forth its best energies. CHAPTER XXII 
CONFINEMENT 
WHERE DID THE BABY COME FROM? 
Where did you come from, baby dear? 
Out of the everywhere into here. 
Where did you get the eyes so blue? 
Out of the sky, as I came through. 
Where did you get that little tear? 
I found it waiting when I got here. 
What makes your forehead so smooth and high? 
A soft hand stroked it as I went by. 
What makes your cheek like a warm, white rose? 
I saw something better than anyone knows. 
Whence that three-cornered smile of bliss? 
Three angels gave me at once a kiss. 
Where did you get this pretty ear? 
God spoke, and it came out to hear. 
Where did you get those arms and hands? 
Love made itself into hooks and bands. 
Feet, whence did you come, you darling things? 
From the same box as the cherub's wings. 
How did they all come just to be you? 
God thought of me, and so I grew. 
But, how did you come to us, you dear? 
God thought about you, and so I am here. 
-George Macdonald. 
375 376 
Personal Help for the Married 
Prepara= 
tion for 
Confine= 
ment 
Before confinement, before labor 
really commences, everything per- 
taining to the proper arrange- 
ment of the lying-in room, everything 
necessary to the safe and successful conduct 
of the labor, and everything essential to the 
comfort and welfare of both mother and 
child, should be in complete and perfect 
readiness. Let no patient be dilatory in 
these matters. Nothing, however seemingly 
unimportant it may be, should be put off to 
the last moment. The nurse should be en- 
gaged six or eight weeks beforehand, and 
should be a person of good reputation for 
skill, cleanliness and quiet. Some nurses 
are slovenly and given to constant gossip and 
chatter. The physician should also be spoken 
to. It will be well if the advice of a lady 
friend of experience in the cares of maternity 
can be had regarding some of the details of 
preparation. 
The arrangement of the bed and 
bedclothing, the dress of the 
patient, and the many small but necessary 
articles that should be on hand and ready for 
immediate use, must all receive their due 
share of attention. Among other things that 
Necessary 
Articles Confinement 
377 
the patient may deem necessary, there should 
be provided a skein of strong thread, a good 
pair of scissors, some pure lard or sweet oil; 
all things, in fact, necessary to the mother or 
babe should be placed in such order that they 
can be found without bustle or confusion the 
moment they are wanted. 
The clothing should be perfectly loose, 
and sufficiently warm to permit the patient 
to get out of bed if necessary to do so. The 
following very suitable garments have been 
recommended: a clean and comfortable 
nightgown should be put on, and, that it 
may not become soiled, rolled carefully and 
smoothly up about the waist when the lady 
lies down; over this, a short bed-gown reach- 
ing to the hips; to meet this a flannel, or, 
better, a plaited cotton petticoat, is next put 
on; and over the whole may be worn a 
dressing gown until taken to the bed. 
There are certain articles of cloth- 
ing and dressings for the bed that 
should be cared for in advance, so that they 
may be ready when required. 
It is of consequence to procure a proper 
bandage. It should be made of heavy 
muslin, neither too coarse nor too fine; an 
Dressings 
for the Bed 378 
Personal Help for the Married 
ordinarily good quality of unbleached mus- 
lin is the best. The material is to be cut 
bias, about one and a quarter yards long. 
In the preparation of the bed, a 
rubber, oil or waterproof cloth is necessary. 
The bed should be made as usual, except 
that a sheet folded several times ought to be 
placed beneath the lower sheet. On the top 
of the lower sheet should be placed the 
rubber or oil cloth, and on top of this again 
another folded sheet. By this arrangement 
the necessity of making up the bed after the 
birth of the child is obviated, as the soiled 
clothes can all be removed without disturb- 
ing the bed and mother. 
A bed used for this purpose should always 
have a good, firm, smooth mattress, not 
feathers. 
As soon as it is evident that labor 
has begun, warm water should be 
in readiness. The lying-in chamber should 
be kept comfortable, quiet and well venti- 
lated. 
No more people should be al- 
lowed in the room than the nature 
of the case absolutely requires. Should the 
The Bed 
Other 
Prepara= 
tions 
Persons 
Present Confinement 
379 
husband be present? Yes, if the wife says 
so; she, in all probability, wants and needs 
his sympathy and encouragement. 
The only other necessary attendants are 
the doctor and the nurse. Possibly some 
close, intimate lady friend might be helpful 
with her sympathy and encouragement. But 
we insist that all present be cool-headed; it 
is no place for nervous people. 
The position chosen during de- 
livery may be on the back, though 
some women prefer to lie on their side, with 
a pillow between the knees; some would 
rather stand; while others desire to place 
themselves on their knees during a part of 
the time. On the left side is undoubtedly 
the most convenient, though this position 
may be changed frequently with advantage 
under different circumstances. 
Solid food should be avoided, 
and nothing in shape of nourish- 
ment taken but a little milk, broth or soup. 
Even these are not desired, usually, unless 
the labor is protracted and the system weak- 
ened. 
Spirituous or malt liquors, and stimulating 
drinks of any kind, are best let alone at this 
Position 
Chosen 
Food Dur= 
ing Labor 380 
Personal Help for the Married 
time, from the danger of their producing 
congestion or inflammation. A little wine 
may sometimes be needed in cases of great 
exhaustion, but if stimulants are required 
during labor, great caution and discrimina- 
tion must be exercised in their administration. 
Simple cold water is as refreshing as 
need be, but if lemonade, tea, toast or barley 
water are preferred, they may be given with- 
out fear of evil consequences. A very good 
beverage during labor is a cup of warm tea; 
this will be found grateful and refreshing. 
As for solid food, it is not only improper 
at this time, but the patient will usually have 
no appetite for it, and the stomach will 
refuse it. 
To see that there is now no con- 
stipation, no accumulation within 
the rectum, is a matter of such consequence 
to the patient that it should under no circum- 
stances be neglected. A free evacuation of 
the bowels, giving the neighboring parts 
more room, will very much expedite the 
progress of labor and abridge the pain. 
When the first premonitory symptoms of 
the approaching labor are noticed, a little 
castor oil, one or two teaspoonfuls, accord- 
Avoid Con- 
stipation Confinement 
381 
ing to the quantity required, may at once be 
taken if the bowels have been at all costive. 
If the patient objects to oil, an injection 
should be prescribed instead. A pint of 
warm water thrown into the rectum will 
soon have the desired effect. The bladder, 
which, when distended, encroaches upon and 
crowds the adjoining parts, should be often 
emptied during the progress of labor; by so 
doing, the patient will have more ease and 
comfort and her case will be much expedited. 
A package of large pins, one and 
a half inches in length, for the 
bandage of the mother, and smaller ones for 
that of the child; some good linen bobbin 
for the doctor to tie the navel-string; good 
toilet soap and fine surgical sponge for 
washing the child; a piece of linen or muslin 
for dressing the navel; a box of unirritating 
powder, and a pile of towels, should all be 
had and laid aside weeks before they are 
wanted. 
These, together with the materials for 
dressing the bed, the child's clothing, and 
the mother's bandage, ought to be placed in 
a basket secured for the purpose, in order 
that they may be easily and certainly found 
Articles for 
the Little 
Stranger 382 
Personal Help for the Married 
at the time when perhaps the hurry and 
excitement of the moment would render it 
difficult otherwise to collect them immedi- 
ately. 
One of the earliest of the prelim- 
inary signs of the coming on of 
confinement occurs about two weeks before 
that event. It is a dropping or subsidence 
of the womb. The summit of that organ 
then descends, in most cases, from above to 
below the umbilicus, and the abdomen be- 
comes smaller. The stomach and lungs are 
relieved from pressure, the woman breathes 
more freely, the sense of oppression that 
troubled her before is lost, and she says she 
feels comfortable. This feeling of lightness 
increases, and a few days before the labor she 
feels so much better that she thinks she will 
take an extra amount of exercise. 
A second sign of labor is found in the 
increased fullness of the external parts, and 
more mucus secretions. This symptom is a 
good one. 
The first symptom of actual labor 
is generally the discharge of the 
plug of mucus which has occupied the neck 
Signs of 
Approach' 
ing Labor 
Symptoms 
of Actual 
Labor Confinement 
383 
of the womb up to this time; this action is 
usually accompanied by a little blood. 
Perhaps before this, or it may be some 
hours after, the pains will develop them- 
selves. These recur periodically, at intervals 
of an hour or half an hour at the outset, and 
are "grinding" in character. True labor 
pains are distinguished from false by the fact 
that they are felt in the back, passing on to 
the thighs, while false pains are referred to 
the abdomen; by their intermittent character, 
and by the steady increase in their frequency 
and severity. In case of doubt as to their 
exact nature, the doctor should be summoned, 
who will be able to determine positively 
whether or not labor has begun. 
The contractions of the womb 
cause the pains. This organ is 
assisted by the abdominal muscles and the 
diaphragm. It is the effort of nature to 
expel the child. 
Up to this time the pains have 
been of a "grinding" character, 
and the intervals have been long, usually from 
a half hour to two hours; but soon-the 
length of time is uncertain-they alter, and 
V.2-5 
Cause of 
Labor 
Pains 
Labor 
Pains 384 
Personal Help for the Married 
become "bearing down;" they are now more 
frequent and regular, and the skin becomes 
hotter and bathed in perspiration. 
True labor pains intermit with periods of 
almost perfect ease; they are also situated in 
the womb or adjacent parts, especially in the 
back and loins. They come on at regular 
intervals, rise gradually to a certain pitch of 
intensity, and then gradually subside. They 
are not sharp and abrupt; but are deep, dull 
and heavy. When they assume the "bearing 
down" character, the physician's presence be- 
comes very necessary; if the "waters break" 
before this, he should be summoned at once, 
even if there are no true pains, as it is es- 
sential that he know the exact "presentation" 
of the child, and whether the umbilical cord 
or either of the child's arms has descended. 
A natural labor is usually divided 
into three stages, and in order that 
it may be better understood, we will explain 
that the premonitory or first stage comprises 
the subsidence (dropping) of the womb and 
the coming away of the blood-tinged mucus 
from the vagina, sometimes called the 
"show." This is in reality the discharge 
from the mouth of the womb of the plug, 
Three 
Stages of 
Labor Pains Confinement 
385 
which has up to this time hermetically sealed 
that organ during gestation. The second 
stage is known by the "grinding" nature of 
the pains. The mouth of the womb at this 
time gradually dilates and the pains become 
more frequent; at about this juncture, usually, 
the "bag of waters" breaks, or the liquor 
amnii (liquid contents of the amnion in 
which the child has been immersed) escapes. 
As the pains alter in character to true labor 
pains and become "bearing down," the third 
stage is indicated, in which nature is making 
her best efforts to expel the child. 
The mother must not strain or 
bear down either in the first or 
second stage, for the womb is not then in a 
condition to expel its contents; any efforts on 
her part will avail nothing at this time, and 
will exhaust her strength, which she may 
greatly need further on. Thus assisting the 
birth of the child should not be attempted 
until the last stage, when the bearing-down 
pains will indicate the time that a little aid 
on her part may be of service. 
Remember, also, that it does no good to 
attempt aM between intervals of pain. Help 
nature when she works; rest when nature 
"Bearing 
Down" 386 
Personal Help for the Married 
rests. Do not attempt to help nature too 
much. There is some danger of rupture. 
The doctor ought to know how much help 
he should give. 
Some contend that nature should 
be left quite alone, as she is per- 
fectly able to bring a child into the world 
without human assistance. While we have no 
use for an over-meddlesome attendant, and 
believe that too much interference is harmful, 
there are few even natural labors in which a 
good physician may not render most im- 
portant service to both mother and child. A 
physician who merely presents himself at 
the bedside when the child is born, and 
barely waits for the expulsion of the after- 
birth to take his departure, will hardly be 
called upon to officiate in a like capacity 
again in the same family. 
It is true that in most cases of natural labor 
not much assistance is needed; but, in case 
there should be, the doctor ought by all 
means to be there to render it. His judg- 
ment alone must be depended upon as to the 
amount of aid required; and whatever inter- 
ference there should be in the progress of the 
case must be suggested by his judgment alone, 
Nature and 
Art Confinement 
387 
and by the knowledge he possesses of the 
matter in hand. 
As soon as the head is born, it 
should be immediately ascertained whether 
the neck is encircled by the cord. If so, it 
should be removed or loosened. The neglect 
of this precaution may result fatally to the 
infant. It is also of importance at once to 
allow the entrance of air to the face, to put 
the finger in the mouth to remove any ob- 
struction which may interfere with inspira- 
tion; also lay the babe on its right side, with 
the head removed from the discharges. 
The navel cord should not be tied until the 
infant is heard to cry or begins to breathe. 
The ligature is to be applied in the following 
manner: Tie the cord in two places, first 
ascertaining that a loop of the child's intes- 
tines does not protrude into the cord, as great 
harm may be done. The first place tied 
should be about two inches from the navel; 
the second, four inches from the navel of the 
child. Midway between these two ligatures 
cut the cord. Do this with great care. The 
thread should be strong and wrapped several 
times around the cord rather tightly, and 
tied in a gQpd hard knot. 
At Birth 388 
Personal Help for the Married 
The cord must not be tied and cut until 
the artery in it ceases to pulsate. But it will, 
however, cease to pulsate soon after the child 
begins to breathe. 
When the child is separated from 
the mother, a warm blanket or 
piece of flannel should be ready to receive it. 
In taking hold of the little stranger it may 
slip out of the hands and be injured. To 
guard against this accident, which is very 
apt to occur with awkward or inexperienced 
persons, always seize the back portion of the 
neck in the space bounded by the thumb and 
first finger of one hand, and grasp the thighs 
with the other. In this way it may be safely 
carried. It should be transferred, wrapped 
up in its blanket, to some secure place, never 
put in an armchair where it may be crushed 
by someone who does not observe that the 
chair is already occupied. The head of the 
child should not be so covered as to incur 
any danger of suffocation. 
When the afterbirth has come 
away, the mother should be drawn 
up a short distance-six or eight inches-in 
bed, and the sheet that has been pinned 
Attention 
to the 
Child 
Attention 
to the 
Mother Confinement 
389 
around her, together with the temporary 
dressing of the bed, removed, a clean folded 
sheet being introduced under the hips. The 
parts should be gently washed with warm 
water and a soft sponge or a cloth. 
The anointing of the external and internal 
parts with goose-grease is soothing and ef- 
ficient in speedily allaying all irritation. This 
ought all to be done under cover, to guard 
against taking cold. The chemise pinned up 
around the breast should be loosened now. 
The woman is now ready for the application 
of the bandage, which is to be put on next to 
the skin. This will prove very grateful to 
the mother. 
In order to apply the bandage, one-half of 
its length should be folded into plaits, and 
the mother should lie on her left side; lay 
the plaited end of the bandage underneath 
the left side of the patient, carrying it as far 
under as possible, and draw the loose end 
over the abdomen; then let the mother roll 
over on her back upon the bandage, and 
draw out the plaited end. The bandage 
should be first tightened in the middle by a 
pin. Pins should be placed at intervals of 
about one inch. The lower portion of the 390 
Personal Help for the Marrieb 
bandage should be made quite tight, to pre- 
vent it from slipping up. 
The mother is now ready to be drawn upon 
the permanent dressing of the bed. This 
should be done without any exertion on her 
part. A napkin should be laid smoothly 
under the hips-never folded up-to receive 
the discharges. 
If the doctor be present, some of 
the minute instructions herein 
given are unnecessary, as it is his place to 
see to many of the things mentioned, as the 
care and cutting of the navel cord and the 
like. But the prospective mother, the nurse 
and other attendants should make a thorough 
study of all the particulars in order to be 
ready for any and all emergencies. The 
doctor is not always present just at the time 
when needed. 
The child may now be washed 
and dressed. Before beginning, 
everything that is wanted should be close at 
hand, namely, a basin of warm water, a large 
quantity of lard or some other oily material, 
soap of the finest quality, a fine sponge and a 
basket containing the binder, shirt and other 
articles of clothing. 
The 
Doctor's 
Presence 
Bathing 
the Child Confinement 
391 
What to Do First rub the child's body thor- 
oughly with lard. The covering can only be 
removed in this way; the use of soap alone 
will have no effect unless the friction be so 
great as to take off also the skin. The nurse 
should take a handful of lard and rub it in 
with the palm of the hand, particularly in 
the flexures of the joints. In anointing one 
part, the others should be covered, to prevent 
the child taking cold. 
If the child is thus made perfectly clean, 
do not use any soap and water, because the 
skin is left in a more healthful condition by 
the lard, and there is risk of the child's tak- 
ing cold from the evaporation of the water 
But the face may be washed with soap and 
water, great care being taken not to let the 
soap get into the child's eyes, which is one 
of the most frequent causes of sore eyes in 
infants. 
The navel string is now to be 
dressed. This is done by wrap- 
ping it up in a circular piece of soft muslin, 
well oiled, with a hole in its center. The 
bandage is next to be applied. The object 
of its use is to protect the child's abdomen 
against cold, and to keep the dressing of the 
Dressing 
the Navel 392 
Personal Help for the Married 
cord in its position. It should be pinned in 
front, three pins being generally sufficient. 
The rest of the clothing before enumerated 
is then put on. 
The child is now to be applied to 
the breast at once. This is to be done for 
three reasons. First, it very often prevents 
flooding, which is apt otherwise to occur. 
Secondly, it tends to prevent milk fever by 
averting the violent rush of the milk on the 
third day and the consequent engorgement of 
the breast and constitutional disturbance. The 
third reason is, that there is always a secre- 
tion in the breast from the first, which it is 
desirable for the child to have; for it acts as 
a cathartic, stimulating the liver, and cleans- 
ing the bowels from the secretions which fill 
them at the time of birth. 
There is generally sufficient nour- 
ishment in the breasts for the 
child for the first few days. The mother may 
lie on one side or the other, and receive the 
child upon the arm of that side upon which 
she is lying. If the nipple be not perfectly 
drawn out so that the child can grasp it in 
its mouth, the difficulty may be overcome by 
Nursing 
Manipulate 
ing the 
Breast Confinement 
393 
filling a porter bottle with hot water, empty- 
ing it, and then placing the mouth of the 
bottle immediately over the nipple. This 
will cause, as the bottle cools, a sufficient 
amount of suction to elevate the sunken 
nipple. The bottle should then be removed 
and the child substituted-a little sugar and 
water or sweetened milk being applied, if 
necessary, to tempt the child to take the breast. 
It is necessary to exercise peculiar 
care as regards the diet at this 
period. Bread and milk, bread and butter, 
arrowroot and milk, dry toast and milk, milk 
toast, gruel, light puddings, roasted apples, 
broths, beef tea, tea and lemonade, should 
constitute the chief articles of diet. But little 
solid food, and nothing stimulating, ought to 
be taken at least for a few days. The diet can 
be gradually improved, so that at the end of 
about the fourth day the usual diet may be 
returned to, provided it is plain, wholesome 
and nourishing. Of course it is folly to at- 
tempt the restriction of all cases to one class 
of food, as many women are in a prime con- 
dition, barring a little weakness, after their 
confinement; while others, after a hard and 
lingering labor, are exceedingly weak. Com- 
Diet of the 
New Mother 394 
Personal Help for the Married 
mon sense should be the guide in these cases, 
the same as in all others, and if a lady is 
very weak she should have chicken broth, 
good strong beef tea, mutton chops, game, 
eggs, etc., from the very commencement. 
The doctor should certainly be 
consulted when there is unusual 
weakness and debility; and only on his advice 
should stimulating drinks be given in these 
particular cases. The best beverages for the 
first week, in the majority of cases, are milk, 
barley water, toast and water, gum arabic 
water, and in some instances, cool lemonade. 
The after-pains of labor, those 
which come on after the placenta 
has been expelled, are due to the efforts of 
the womb to discharge the remaining coagu- 
lated blood. Most women experience them, 
and they are very much like the true labor 
pains. They are generally felt but a few 
hours after labor, though sometimes much 
longer; but as a rule they are seldom, if ever, 
experienced in first labors. They may be 
mitigated, though not prevented, either by 
the application of a hot poultice over the 
abdomen or cloths wrung out of hot water 
No Stimu- 
lating 
Drinks 
The After- 
Pains CONFINEMENT 
395 
and applied in the same manner. An injec- 
tion into the rectum or vagina of thin starch, 
to which has been added about twenty drops 
of laudanum, will frequently give great relief. 
Gum camphor taken in capsules, in doses of 
two or three grains, and repeated every two 
or three hours, will be found of value. 
Flooding, or uterine hemorrhage, 
which may come on during preg- 
nancy or labor, requires the services of a 
physician; but to those who may be placed 
in an emergency, when the doctor is not at 
hand, a few simple directions may be of 
value. The flooding of labor is always 
troublesome and demands instant attention, as 
it is sometimes fatal, unless quickly checked. 
The chief causes are laceration of the 
womb, a rupture of one or more of its blood- 
vessels, or a too early or violent separation 
of the afterbirth. In many cases it is pre- 
ceded by a sensation of heat and weight in 
the pelvis, pains in the back and thighs, 
headache, dizziness and flushed face. In 
some instances, however, flooding comes on 
suddenly and without any warning whatever. 
How to 
Check 
Flooding 396 
Personal Help for the Married 
Two 
Important 
Remedies 
There are two remedies which 
are always within reach and easy 
to be applied: they are pressure and cold. 
The womb should be grasped and held by 
the hand on the outside of the abdomen. It 
can be felt, like a hard, round ball, when it 
is properly contracted; and when it is not 
thus felt there is always danger of hemor- 
rhage; non-contraction of the womb is very 
liable to be followed by flooding. By firmly 
grasping the middle of the abdomen, below 
the navel, at the same time pressing down- 
ward and backward, the womb may be made 
to contract; and this is what is greatly to be 
desired. At the same time that the womb is 
compressed, cold should be vigorously ap- 
plied, which also aids in the contraction. 
A large napkin or towel may be dipped in 
ice water and dashed suddenly on the ex- 
ternal parts, the thighs and lower part of the 
abdomen, until the womb contracts and the 
violence of the hemorrhage is controlled. 
In addition to these measures, stimulants 
are sometimes administered; ergot is also 
usually of great value. Hot water, as hot as 
it can be borne, instead of cold water, is ad- 
vised by some physicians to be injected into Confinement 
397 
the vagina in large quantities. It is claimed 
for this remedy that it is entirely free from 
danger and very efficacious. 
During lactation (the period of 
secretion of milk and nursing the 
infant), few women experience much desire 
for marital congress, and it is therefore a 
season calling for great forbearance on the 
part of the man. Her vital forces seem to 
be concentrated in the direction of furnishing 
nourishment to her babe; nature usually sus- 
pends the processes of ovulation for the time 
and makes the wife sterile, which are plain 
indications that this is a condition intended 
by nature. It is quite certain that the less 
intercourse during this whole period, the 
better for both mother and child. 
As a rule, the baby should go to 
its mother's breast, if there is 
nothing special to prevent, as soon as she has 
secured a little repose from the fatigue and 
excitement of labor. Reluctance on the part 
of mothers to nurse their children is little 
short of criminal in its cruelty. 
Bottle-fed infants have a greatly dimin- 
ished chance of life, compared with those 
Restraint 
During 
Nursing 
Advantages 
of Early 
Nursing 398 
Personal Help for the Married 
nourished at the breast. It is also a vast deal 
less trouble to feed a baby at nature's fount 
than to several times a day and night go 
through all the trouble of procuring and 
preparing artificial food of even the simplest 
kind. 
Inflammation of the breast before 
secretion of milk is rare; after- 
ward, it is frequent. The slightest unusual 
fullness or knottiness discovered after the 
infant has been suckling should receive im- 
mediate attention. 
The first symptom is a hardness 
or knottiness in some part of the organ, which 
often enlarges before causing pain or uneasi- 
ness. Next, increasing pain is felt during 
suckling. The skin becomes red, tense and 
shiny, while more or less of the breast feels 
inelastic, firm, prominent and heavy. The 
pain becomes severe. 
Great care should be given to the 
nipple. If it is imperfect, precautions should 
be taken to prevent the breast itself from be- 
coming involved. If the infant can not draw 
off the milk, some other means will have to 
be used. If abrasions, ulcers, cracks or chaps 
Sore 
Nipples 
Symptoms 
Treatment Confinement 
399 
are visible, some soothing preparation must 
be applied. The following lotion is excel- 
lent: borax, one drachm; glycerine, one-half 
ounce; rose-water, seven and one-half ounces. 
Or, a jelly made of gum tragacanth, two to 
four drachms; lime-water, four ounces; rose- 
water, three ounces; glycerine, one ounce. If 
there is much secretion from the glands on 
the nipple, after washing it, a dry powder of 
starch, or of oxide of zinc, or carbonate of 
magnesia, will be useful. 
Childbed fever, briefly described, 
is a severe and sudden inflamma- 
tion, usually commencing in the womb, ex- 
tending to all the adjacent organs of both the 
pelvic and abdominal cavities, and hastening 
with great rapidity, if unchecked, to a fatal 
termination. It usually makes its appearance 
from the second to the fifth day after deliv- 
ery, though in rare instances it has been 
known to commence as early as a few hours, 
and in other cases as late as two or three 
weeks after. When it occurs, send for the 
doctor at once. 
A too early return to the ordinary 
active duties of life retards or 
checks restoration to normal size, and the 
Childbed 
Fever 
Getting Up 
Too Soon 400 
Personal Help for the Married 
womb being heavier, exposes the woman to 
great danger of uterine displacements. Nor 
are these the only risks incurred by a too 
hasty renewal of active movements. The 
surface, the substance, and the lining mem- 
brane of the womb are all very liable, while 
change from its increased to its ordinary 
bulk is occurring, to take on inflammation 
after slight exposure. The worst cases of 
uterine inflammation and ulceration are thus 
caused. 
A "bad getting up," prolonged 
debility, pain and excessive dis- 
charge are among the least penalties conse- 
quent upon imprudence after confinement. 
It is a mistake to suppose that hard-working 
women in the lower walks of life attend with 
impunity to their ordinary duties a few days 
after confinement. Those who suffer most 
from falling of the womb and other displace- 
ments are the poor, who are obliged to get up 
on the ninth day and remain upright, stand- 
ing or walking for many hours with an over- 
weighted womb. If this be true of vigorous 
women accustomed to a hardy life, how much 
more apt to suffer from this cause are the 
delicately nurtured, whose systems are de- 
Be 
Cautious Confinement 
401 
teriorated already, perhaps, and little able to 
resist any deleterious influences! 
A mother should remain in bed for at least 
two weeks after the birth of the child, and 
should not return to her household duties 
under a month; she should also take great 
pains to protect herself from cold, so as to 
escape the rheumatic affections to which at 
this time she is particularly subject. 
The newborn child should be 
nursed about every second hour 
during the day, and not more than once or 
twice at night. Too much ardor may be dis- 
played by the young mother in the perform- 
ance of her duties. Not knowing the fact 
that an infant quite as frequently cries from 
being overfed as from want of nourishment, 
she is apt to give it the breast at every cry, 
day and night. In this manner her health 
is broken down, and she is compelled perhaps 
to wean her child that with more prudence 
and knowledge she might have continued to 
nurse without detriment to herself. 
It i'S particularly important that 
the child shall acquire the habit 
of not requiring the breast more than 
Rules for 
Nursing 
Nursing 
at Night 402 
Personal Help for the Married 
once or twice at night. This, with a little 
perseverance, can readily be accomplished, 
so that the hours for rest at night, so much 
needed by the mother, may not be inter- 
fered with. Indeed, if the mother does not 
enjoy good health, it is better for her not to 
nurse at all at night, but to have the child 
fed once or twice with a little cow's milk. 
Menstruation is ordinarily absent 
and pregnancy usually impossible 
during the whole course of nursing, at least 
during the first nine months. Sometimes, 
however, mothers become unwell at the ex- 
piration of the sixth or seventh month; in 
rare instances within the first five or six 
weeks after confinement. When the monthly 
sickness makes its appearance without any 
constitutional or local disturbance, it is not 
apt to interfere with the welfare of the infant. 
When, on the contrary, the discharge is pro- 
fuse, and attended with much pain, it may 
produce colic, vomiting and diarrhea in the 
nursling. The disturbance in the system of 
the child ordinarily resulting from pregnancy 
in the mother is such that, as a rule, it should 
be at once weaned as soon as it is certain that 
pregnancy exists. The only exceptions to 
Influence of 
Pregnancy 
on the Milk Confinement 
403 
this rule are those cases in the city, during 
the hot months, in which it is impossible either 
to procure a wet-nurse or to take the child to 
the country to be weaned. In cold weather 
an infant should certainly be weaned, if it 
has attained its fifth or sixth month, and the 
mother has become pregnant. 
It is well established that mental 
emotions are capable of changing 
the quantity and quality of the milk, and of 
thus rendering it hurtful and even dangerous 
to the infant. 
The secretion of milk may be entirely 
stopped by the action of the nervous system. 
Fear, excited on account of the child which 
is sick or exposed to accident, will check the 
flow of milk, which will not return until the 
little one is restored in safety to the mother's 
arms. Apprehension felt in regard to a 
drunken husband has been known to arrest 
the supply of this fluid. 
On the other hand, the secretion is often 
augmented, as every mother knows, by the 
sight of the child, nay, even by the thought of 
him, causing a sudden rush of blood to the 
breast known to nurses as the draught. In- 
deed, a strong desire to furnish milk, together 
Influence 
of Emotions 
on the Milk 404 
Personal Help for the Married 
with the application of the child to the breast, 
has been effectual in bringing about its secre- 
tion in young girls, old women and even men. 
Those passions which are generally sources 
of pleasure, and which when moderately in- 
dulged are conducive to health, will, when 
carried to excess, alter, and even entirely 
check, the secretion of milk. 
But the fact which it is most im- 
portant to know is that nervous 
agitation may so alter the quality of the milk 
as to make it poisonous. A fretful temper, 
fits of anger, grief, anxiety of mind, fear and 
sudden terror not only lessen the quantity of 
the milk, but render it thin and unhealthful, 
inducing disturbances of the child's bowels, 
diarrhea, griping and fever. Many instances 
are given of death to the child caused by 
nursing it while the mother was in great 
excitement or feat 
Evil 
Effects of 
Excitement A HALLOWED SPOT 
405 NEW RESPONSIBILITIES 
406 CHAPTER XXIII 
THE FAMILY 
The sweet singer of old asserted that "chil- 
dren are a heritage of the Lord-happy is 
the man that hath his quiver full of them." 
The best experiences of life affirm the truth 
of this saying. The happy laugh of child- 
hood is the best home music, the graceful 
figures of children the best statuary. 
Any natural blessing may cease 
to be a good one. Often fathers 
feel that their ability to care for and educate 
children is limited. Mothers who "in sorrow 
bring forth children" often dread further 
additions to their flock. Hence arises the 
query that confronts nearly every married 
couple-is it possible and is it right to limit 
the number of offspring? 
Nature herself seems to have made 
provisions for the limitation of 
offspring. She also warns against the danger 
of too rapid child-bearing by yielding im- 
Limitation 
of Offspring 
Nature's 
Limitations 
407 408 
Personal Help for the Married 
perfect, feeble and deformed children and 
allowing the health of the mother to break 
down. 
The safeguard which nature has 
thrown out against overproduction 
is by constituting certain periods of woman's 
life seasons of sterility. Before the age of 
nubility, during pregnancy and after the 
change of life they are always barren. Dur- 
ing nursing most women are so, but not all. 
Some even continue their monthly change at 
this time. There is no absolute certainty that 
a woman will not conceive then, though the 
probability is against it. 
A so-called agennetic or sterile period 
exists between each monthly change, during 
the continuance of which it is not possible 
for the female to conceive. This branch of 
our subject has attracted much attention of 
late years, from its practical character, but 
the conclusions reached have so far not been 
as satisfactory as we could wish. 
Intercourse is more liable to be followed 
by pregnancy when it occurs about the men- 
strual epoch than at other times. The exact 
length of time, however, preceding and fol- 
lowing the menses during which impregna- 
Natural 
Safeguards The Family 
409 
tion is still possible has not been ascertained. 
The spermatic fluid, on the one hand, retains 
its vitality for an unknown period after 
coition, and the egg for an unknown period 
after its discharge. The precise extent of the 
limit of these occurrences is still uncertain, 
and is probably more or less variable in dif- 
ferent individuals. 
Those, therefore, who would take advan- 
tage of this natural law can do no better than 
confine themselves to a few days intervening 
about midway between the monthly epochs. 
It is proper and right under some circum- 
stances for married people to avail them- 
selves of these provisions of our economy. 
When the wife is distinctly suffer- 
ing from overmuch child-bearing; 
when the children are coming so 
rapidly that they interfere with each other's 
nutrition; when a destructive hereditary dis- 
ease has broken out after marriage; and when 
the wife can not bear children without serious 
danger to her life. 
Those who coincide with us may urge the 
objection (and it is a partially valid one), 
that the observation of these natural periods 
of sterility does not answer the end in view, 
When 
Should 
Offspring Be 
Limited? 410 
Personal Help for the Married 
for they are uncertain and inadequate. They 
are so to some degree, but we believe them to 
be much more reliable than generally sup- 
posed. 
The next refuge is to renounce 
entirely the conjugal privilege. 
This is a perfectly allowable and proper 
course, if it be with mutual consent. The 
objection nowadays urged against it is that 
it is too severe a prescription, and conse- 
quently valueless. This ought not to be. A 
man who loves his wife should, in order to 
save that wife overwork, and misery, and 
danger of death, and wretchedly constituted 
children, be able and willing to undergo as 
much self-denial as his continent bachelor 
acquaintances do, not out of high devotion, 
but for motives of economy, indifference, or 
love of liberty. The man that can not do this, 
or does not care to do it, certainly does not 
deserve a very high regard. 
But while all this is granted, the question 
is still constantly put: Is this all? Are there 
no means by which we can limit our families 
without either injuring the health, or under- 
going a self-martyrdom, to which not one man 
in a thousand will submit? 
Another 
Remedy The Family 
411 
Yes, there are many methods, but 
we warn against them all. Most 
of the artificial means proposed for this pur- 
pose can not be used constantly without either 
failing to accomplish their purpose, or sow- 
ing the seeds of disease. Many of them are 
in the highest degree injurious and repre- 
hensible, and are certain to destroy health. 
The habit of uncompleted inter- 
course that many adopt must be 
disapproved on the same grounds. It does 
violence to nature, and is liable to bring about 
premature loss of virility, and serious injury 
to the nervous system. 
It is a doubtful question whether any of 
the appliances of art recommended for this 
purpose, even if they are innocent in regard 
to health, are morally to be approved. 
Whether under some rare and exceptionable 
circumstances-as when women conceive dur- 
ing nursing, or are incapable of bearing chil- 
dren with safety to life-such means are per- 
missible or not, must be left for the medical 
attendant to determine, and he alone must 
bear the responsibility of deciding in such 
cases. But in the majority of marriages, 
when the avoidance of children is sought 
Many 
Methods 
All Under 
Condemn 
nation 412 
Personal Help for the Married 
merely to save expense or trouble, or to give 
greater room for freedom and selfish pleas- 
ure, the resort to such means must be un- 
equivocally condemned. 
It has become the fashion for 
parents to be leading around a 
solitary, lonely child, or possibly two, it being 
well understood, talked about, and boasted of, 
that they are to have no more. The means 
to prevent it are well understood instru- 
mentalities shamelessly bought and sold, and 
it is a glory that they are to have no more 
children. 
A prominent French physician in 
one of the provincial towns of that 
country draws a striking picture of the de- 
moralization it has brought about. He shows 
how the bonds of public morality have been 
loosened, the sacred institution of marriage 
converted into legal prostitution, woman sunk 
in respect, man yielding to unnatural de- 
bauches, losing his better impulses to plunge 
into sensuality, diseases and debility gaining 
ground, the number of births constantly de- 
creasing, and the nation itself incurring the 
danger of falling a prey to its rivals through 
Too Small 
Families 
Conditions 
in France The Family 
413 
a want of effective soldiers. The picture is 
a gloomy one, and is probably but little over- 
drawn. It has required the horrors of war 
to arouse the conscience of France. 
If it is true that the native Ameri- 
can population is actually dying 
out, and that year by year the births from 
couples born in this country are less in pro- 
portion than those from couples one or both 
of whom are of European birth, as many 
have asserted, then we must seek the explana- 
tion of this startling fact either in a prema- 
ture decay of virility, or a naturally dimin- 
ished virility in middle life in the husbands, 
or to an increased tendency to sterility in the 
wives, or else we must suppose there is a 
deliberate and widespread agreement between 
those who are in the bonds of matrimony, 
that American women shall be childless, or 
the next thing to it. 
We know that, in making the fore- 
going statements, we must of 
necessity run against the prej- 
udices of many. Very few people are will- 
ing to listen to a dispassionate discussion of 
the propriety or the impropriety of limiting 
Conditions 
in America 
Will We 
Open Our 
Minds to 
Honest 
Conviction? 414 
Personal Help for the Married 
within certain bounds the number of chil- 
dren in a family. 
On the one side are many worthy physicians 
and pious clergymen that without listening to 
any arguments, condemn every effort to avoid 
large families. 
On the other side are numberless wives and 
husbands that turn a deaf ear to the warnings 
of doctors and the thunders of the divines, 
and, eager to escape responsibility they have 
assumed, do not hesitate to resort to the most 
dangerous and immoral means to accomplish 
their purpose. 
Let both parties lay aside prejudice and 
prepossessions, and examine with us this 
most important social question in all its 
bearings. , 
Two-thirds of all cases of womb 
diseases are traceable to child- 
bearing in feeble women. Every farmer is 
aware of the necessity of limiting the off- 
spring of domestic animals. How much 
more severe are the injuries inflicted on the 
delicate organization of woman! 
The evils of a too rapid succession 
of pregnancies are likewise con- 
spicuous in the children. There 
is no more frequent cause of rickets than this. 
Too Many 
Children 
Puny, 
Sickly, 
Short-lived 
Children The Family 
415 
Puny, sickly, short-lived offspring follows 
overproduction. They come to overburden 
a mother already overwhelmed with progeny. 
They can not receive at her hands the atten- 
tion they require. Weakly herself, she bring! 
forth weakly infants. Thus are the accumu- 
lated evils of an excessive family manifest. 
There are also women to whom 
pregnancy is a nine months' tor- 
ture, and others to whom it is nearly certain 
to prove fatal. Such a condition can not be 
discovered before marriage, and therefore 
can not be provided against by a single life. 
Can such women be asked to immolate them- 
selves? 
Apart from these considerations, 
there are certain social relations 
which have been thought by some to advise 
small families. When either parent suffers 
from a disease which is transmissible, and 
wishes to avoid inflicting misery on an un- 
born generation, it has been urged that they 
should avoid children. Such diseases not in- 
frequently manifest themselves after mar- 
riage, which is answer enough to the objec- 
tion that if they did not wish children they 
should not marry. 
Another 
Reason 
Hereditary 
Hindrances 416 
Personal Help for the Married 
John Stuart Mill says: "Little improve- 
ment can be expected in morality until pro- 
ducing too large families is regarded with 
the same feeling as drunkenness, or any other 
physical excess." 
One says that the wish to limit 
offspring arises most frequently 
from an inordinate desire for indulgence. 
Others affirm most positively that»more fre- 
quently the wish springs from love of chil- 
dren. The parents seek to avoid having more 
than they can properly nurture and educate. 
They do not wish to leave their sons and 
daughters in want. This second motive, 
though not the highest, is more common than 
is usually supposed. 
But in most cases this overanxiety for the 
welfare of the children works evil, for there 
should never be less than two children in a 
family, perhaps not less than four, if it be 
possible properly to have them. An inti- 
mate friend of the writer expressed his regrets 
that he had but one child in his family. She 
is a lovely daughter, but the father thinks 
it would have been better for his daughter, 
as well as for the parents, to have had more 
children. 
Conflict of 
Opinions The Family 
417 
An Excuse 
for Self=< 
Indulgence 
Many men, in trying to find an 
excuse for self-indulgence, seek it 
in religion. They insist that the wife should 
bear all the children possible; that the Bible 
teaches it; that it is wicked to place any 
obstruction in the way of bearing children; 
that "God sends all the children in a family, 
few or many, in rapid succession or far apart, 
strong or weak, bright or stupid,, good or 
bad, and preordains their lives." 
Suppose the stock-raiser should follow the 
same plan? It is too absurd for serious con- 
sideration. 
If a woman has a right to decide 
any question, it certainly is as to 
how many children she shall bear. Wives 
have a right to demand of their husbands at 
least the same consideration which a breeder 
extends to his stock. 
Whenever it becomes unwise that the fam- 
ily should be increased, justice and humanity 
require that the husband should impose on 
himself the same restraint that is submitted 
to by the unmarried. 
In short, the generative impulses of man 
should be placed absolutely under the sway 
of right, reason, chastity, forecast and justice. 
A Wife's 
Rights 418 
Personal Help for the Married 
A Wife's 
Duty 
There are women who require no 
limitation whatever. They can 
bear healthy children with rapidity, and suf- 
fer no ill results. There are others-and they 
are the majority-who should use temperance 
in this as in every other function; and there 
are a few who should bear no children at all. 
It is absurd for physicians or theologians to 
insist that it is either the physical or moral 
duty of the female to have as many children 
as she possibly can. 
"Race suicide" is a common ex- 
pression in our day. It arises 
from the conditions as indicated in the pre- 
ceding pages. The birth rate is so low 
among the native Americans that it is feared 
by some that the native American stock will 
ultimately disappear. An appeal to patriot- 
ism has been made in this matter. 
Not only patriotism, but religion-our 
duty to God and man-also makes its appeal 
for larger families. 
It is quite clear that patriotism, our duty 
to God and the race, as well as the happiness 
of the family relation, demand larger fam- 
ilies where both parents are physically, mor- 
Race 
Suicide The Family 
419 
ally, intellectually, financially and by hered- 
ity fitted for parenthood. 
Abortion is the expulsion of the 
product of conception at any 
period of gestation before the fetus becomes 
viable. Miscarriage is the act of bringing 
forth before the natural time; premature 
birth. Criminal abortion is the act of caus- 
ing abortion, or miscarriage, in a pregnant 
woman, unless when necessary to preserve 
the life of the mother. Criminal abortion is 
a crime, punishable by severe penalties in 
most states and Christian nations. It is ex- 
tremely dangerous, and exposes the woman 
to life-long injury, or to death. 
It is useless to deny or to conceal 
the fact that in many instances 
the husband's dislike of a large family, com- 
bined with his unwillingness to practice self- 
denial in regard to his appetites, is the motive 
that, beyond all others, induces the wife to 
visit the fashionable aborter, and to destroy 
the fruit of her womb and imperil her own 
life and health. This cowardice and brutal- 
ity on his part can not anywhere find an 
excuse. 
Abortion 
and 
Miscarriage 
Husband 
the 
Instigator 420 
Personal Help for the Married 
For the woman, enfeebled perhaps by too 
excessive child-bearing, for which her hus- 
band is 'generally wholly responsible, timid, 
easily alarmed, prone to mental depression 
or other disturbance, and dreading the yet 
safe and preferable labor that awaits her, 
there is a certain measure of excuse. For 
her husband, none. 
This flagrant abuse is not confined to im- 
moral circles of society, nor to the corrupt 
atmosphere of our great commercial centers, 
but extends into remote country hamlets, 
and throughout all grades of social life. We 
call upon our readers by example and pre- 
cept to do their utmost to stem its devastating 
tide, and, at least in their own families and 
among their friends, to mete its due repro- 
bation. 
Its worst effects are not seen in marriage, 
though no physician is ignorant how many 
women in the community suffer from the vile 
"French pills" and "female regulators" 
hawked about, as well as from rude instru- 
ments in awkward and unfeeling hands. But 
it is in the impunity that the vicious believe 
they enjoy, the temptation to indulge in lust- 
ful and illegitimate liaisons, the weakening The Family 
421 
of virtue, that its most serious consequences 
are manifest. 
The following is from Dr. Stock- 
ham's Tokology: "Many women 
have been taught to think that the child is 
not viable until after the quickening, and 
that there is no harm in arresting pregnancy 
previous to the feeling of motion; others 
believe that there is no life until birth, and 
the cry of the child is heard. * * * " 
When the female germ and the 
male sperm unite, then is the in- 
ception of a new life; all that goes to make 
up a human being-body, mind and spirit-- 
must be contained in embryo within this 
minute organism. Life must be present from 
the very moment of conception. If there 
was no life there could be no conception. 
At what other period of a human being's 
existence, either prenatal or postnatal, could 
the union of soul and body take place? 
"Is it not plain that the violent or 
forcible deprivation of existence of the em- 
bryo, the removal of it from the citadel of 
life, is its premature death, and hence the 
act can be denominated bv no milder term 
Feticide is 
Murder 
Life From 
Inception 
The Guilty 422 
Personal Help for the Married 
than murder; and whoever performs the act, 
or is accessory to it, in the sight of God and 
human law, is guilty of the crime of all 
crimes?" 
There may be no harm or sin in 
preventing conception, but from 
the moment of conception there are present 
all the possibilities of a human being. There 
are the possibilities of a Wesley or a Webster, 
of a Paul or a Peter; at least, a man. 
Again from Dr. Stockham: "The 
life of the babe in her arms is to 
the mother more precious than all else; her 
heart is thrilled with a pang of agony at the 
thought of the least danger to its life. By 
what false reasoning does she convince her- 
self that another life, still more dependent 
upon her for its existence, with equal rights 
and possibilities, has no claim upon her pro- 
tection? More than this, she deliberately 
strikes with the red hand of murder, and 
terminates its existence with no thought of 
wrong, nor consciousness of violated law. 
"The woman who produces abor- 
tion, or allows it to be produced, 
risks her own health and life in the act, and 
Grave 
Responsi- 
bilities 
Mother's 
Love for 
Her Babe 
An 
Unnatural 
Act The Family 
423 
commits the highest crime in the calendar, 
for she takes the life of her own child." 
We quote this with approval, believing 
that every statement is true. The puzzle to 
us is how any sane person can think other- 
wise. CHAPTER XXIV 
HEREDITY 
Definition 
of Heredity 
Heredity is a term applied to that 
law of living things by which the 
offspring resembles the parents, the charac- 
teristics of one generation being repeated in 
the succeeding one; or, in other words, the 
tendency of plants or animals to be in all 
essential characteristics like their parents. 
In the use of the word heredity 
there are two conceptions in mind: First, a 
general conception that "like begets like," as 
grapes are not gathered from thistles, plum 
trees do not bear apples nor pears, neither 
do cats produce a family of dogs. Chickens 
produce chickens from eggs dropped from 
the body; the cat bears kittens from an egg 
retained in the body, each after its kind. 
This is one conception of heredity. 
But we also use the word in a more re- 
stricted sense. 
Two Ideas 
424 Heredity 
425 
As children we learned that the 
human family is divided into five 
general races; later in life we learned that 
these race features and characteristics are in- 
herited, so that we never look for Indian 
children from negro parentage, nor China- 
men from Caucasians. These races are again 
divided and subdivided, so that from the 
Caucasian or white race one may readily 
distinguish the different nationalities having 
their peculiar form and features, traits and 
characteristics. By these they are distin- 
guished from all other tribes and families. 
The Irishman is as unlike the German as the 
Jew is unlike the Swede. The brawny, cau- 
tious Scot is the opposite of the vivacious 
Frenchman, and the sturdy, slow-going Eng- 
lishman can not sympathize with the iras- 
cible Spaniard. 
Then, again, in the use of the 
word, one recalls those striking 
peculiarities of the individual, such as the 
"Bourbon nose," which was repeated in suc- 
cessive generations of the royal family of 
France; also the inherited musical ability of 
the Bach family, which, in the range of two 
Different 
Races of 
Man 
The Bour= 
bon Nose 426 
Personal Help for the Married 
hundred years, produced more than fifty 
musicians. 
It is this last conception-the peculiarity 
of the individual-of which we desire to 
speak. Each individual has some distinction 
of form or feature, mental trait or character- 
istic, by which we recognize his personality 
and which makes him unlike every other per- 
son. And should he become a parent, he 
will probably transmit his peculiarities in a 
modified form to his children, so that people 
will say, "How much those children resemble 
their father," or "These children inherited 
their gift of language from their talented 
father." (We say in a modified form, be- 
cause the mother also bequeathes her pecu- 
liarities.) 
We must also note the distinction 
between the laws of heredity and 
those of prenatal influences. 
Dr. Sidney Barrington Elliot states the dif- 
ference in this way: "Heredity is that law by 
which permanent and settled qualities of the 
parents or more remote ancestors reappear in 
the child, while prenatal influence signifies 
the effect produced upon the future being by 
temporary conditions of the parents, as by 
Heredity or 
Prenatal 
Influence Heredity 
427 
temporary mental states (anger, fear, happi- 
ness), or by temporary physical conditions 
(activity, health, exhaustion of a part or of 
the entire body)." 
The fundamental law is that "like 
produces like." Professor Rid- 
dell says: "This law is modified by a second- 
ary law, namely, that the acquired characters 
of one generation are transmitted to the next. 
In a sense these two laws stand in direct 
opposition to each other. The terms 'fixed 
characters' and 'acquired characters' must be 
considered as only relative terms. There are 
in reality no 'fixed characters' in nature. 
Through the operation of the primary law 
the fixed characters of the species are repro- 
duced and their established peculiarities 
maintained. Through the operation of the 
second law the acquired characters of each 
generation are transmitted to the next and be- 
come a part of its hereditary nature. 
"If the first were the only law of heredity, 
then the species must remain forever un- 
changed; both evolution and deterioration 
would be impossible. If the second law were 
the only one or even the controlling factor, 
then the environment and conditions of each 
Like Pro= 
duces Like 428 
Personal Help for the Married 
generation would so modify the next as to 
destroy all established types and finally ex- 
terminate the species." 
The following is in a mother's own 
language: "When I was first pregnant, I 
wished my offspring to be a musician, so, 
during the period of that pregnancy, I settled 
my whole mind on music, and attended every 
musical entertainment I possibly could. I had 
my husband, who has a violin, to play for me 
by the hour. When the child was born, it 
was a girl who grew and prospered, and fin- 
ally became an expert musician." 
The mother of a young man who 
was hanged not long ago was heard 
to say: "I tried to get rid of him before he 
was born; and, oh, how I wish now that I had 
succeeded!" She added that it was the only 
time she had attempted anything of the sort; 
but because of home troubles she became des- 
perate, and resolved that her burdens should 
not be made any greater. Does it not seem 
probable that the murderous intent, even 
though of short duration, was communicated 
to the mind of the child, and resulted in the 
crime for which he was hanged? 
A Musician 
Murderous 
Intent Heredity 
429 
Guiteau's father was a man of in- 
tegrity and considerable intellect- 
ual ability. His children were born in quick 
succession, and the mother was obliged to 
work very hard. Before this child was born, 
she resorted to every means, though unsuc- 
cessful, to produce abortion. The world 
knows the result. Guiteau's whole life was 
full of contradictions. There was little self- 
controlling power in him, no common sense, 
and not a vestige of remorse or shame. In 
his wild imagination he believed himself cap- 
able of doing the greatest work and of filling 
the loftiest station in life. Who will dare 
question that his mother's effort to destroy 
him while in embryo was the main cause in 
bringing him to the level of the brutes? 
Any attempt on the part of the 
mother to destroy her child before birth is 
liable, if unsuccessful, to produce murderous 
tendencies. Even harboring murderous 
thoughts, whether toward her own child or 
not, might be followed by similar results. 
Dr. Lyman Beecher was a leading 
man in his day. As a scholar and 
an orator he was a man of force and he trans- 
mitted to six of his children such qualities as 
The 
Assassin of 
Garfield 
Caution 
Inheritance 
of People 
of Note 430 
Personal Help for the Married 
made them superior to himself and gave them 
a national reputation. 
The parents of the Wesleys were noted for 
their scholarly attainments and high moral 
character. 
The Harrison family were noted in four 
generations for their military achievements or 
statesmanlike abilities. 
Of musical genius, Mozart, Bach, Beet- 
hoven, Rossini and Bellini are noted ex- 
amples of the workings of the laws of heredity. 
Crime and disease, vice and insan- 
ity are inheritances of the human 
family, as well as virtue and genius. So are 
blindness and deafness. Scrofula and con- 
sumption are known to run in families for 
generations. The same is true of malforma- 
tion. 
Ribot gives this instance: "In one 
family blindness was hereditary 
for three generations, and thirty-seven chil- 
dren and grandchildren became blind between 
their seventeenth and eighteenth years." 
Take, for example, the eloquent 
and tragic story of Chilmarth, on 
the island of Martha's Vineyard. There, 
Inheritance 
of Crime 
and Disease 
Blindness 
Inherited 
Deafness an 
Inheritance INHERITED BLINDNESS 
431 A sypliHitls baby 
The man who has contracted gonorrhea 
or syphilis may bring suffering upon the 
innocent 
When he marries, and the baby comes, 
it may be defective 
INHERITED DISEASE 
432 Heredity 
433 
among the first settlers who came, now twelve 
generations ago, were two deaf persons. 
Today one in every twenty-five persons in that 
section is deaf, while a large number of the 
inhabitants are blind, and several are idiots. 
A scholarly physician, in a recent essay, re- 
ferring to this region, observes: "This com- 
munity, isolated from the outer world, has 
not only retained its primitive customs and 
manners, but the physical taint in the original 
stock has also produced a plenteous harvest 
of affliction. At Chilmarth the mental and 
physical progress is downward." 
From the New York World of 
August 23, 1896, we clip the fol- 
lowing sketch of an intensely interesting and 
queer people who live in the valley of the 
Cattaraugus, not far from the city of Buffalo, 
N. Y.: 
"New York's Claw-Fingered People.- 
All the claw-fingered and claw-toed people 
of Zoar trace their descent from a man named 
Robbins, who settled there in the early part 
of the century. His neighbors noticed that 
his hands and feet were remarkably deformed, 
being so bent and twisted that they resembled 
claws more than human hands and feet. 
V.2-7 
Malforma= 
tion 434 
Personal Help for the Married 
"He was not inclined to talk about the de- 
formity, and it does not appear that he ever 
explained how he came by it or where he 
had lived before coming to Zoar. After his 
deformity reappeared in his descendants, it 
became the general opinion that he himself 
inherited it. Some also believed what has 
now become a tradition in the valley, that 
Robbins belonged to a well-to-do Eastern 
family, and that he settled in this almost in- 
accessible spot because of his deformity. 
"Robbins had several children in whom the 
claw digits appeared, but in a very much 
modified form. In the third generation, how- 
ever, the deformity often reappeared in as 
marked a degree as it had existed in the 
original Robbins. 
"A peculiar thing about this strange herit- 
age is that it is impossible to tell where or 
in what form it will appear. Sometimes it is 
inherited from the father, sometimes from the 
mother; sometimes it appears in all the chil- 
dren of a family, at others in only one or two 
in a large number. 
"Sometimes a father and mother who have 
well-formed hands and feet will bring up a 
large family of children, all of them badly Heredity 
435 
and, perhaps, variously deformed; and, again, 
parents with unsightly digits will have chil- 
dren in whom no deformity appears." 
Alcoholic heredity, or the trans- 
mission of a special tendency to 
use spirits or any narcotic to excess, is much 
more common than is supposed. In the line 
of direct heredity, or those inebriates whose 
parents or grandparents used spirits to excess, 
we find that about one in every three cases 
can be traced to inebriate ancestors. Quite a 
large proportion of these parents are moderate 
or only occasional excessive users of spirits. 
If the father is a moderate drinker, and the 
mother a nervous, consumptive woman, or one 
with a weak, nervous organization, inebriety 
very often follows in the children. If both 
parents use wine or beer on the table continu- 
ously, temperate, sober children will be the 
exception. If the mother uses various forms 
of alcoholic drinks as medicines, or narcotic 
drugs for real or imaginary purposes, the in- 
ebriety of the children is very common. 
Many cases have been noted of mothers using 
wine, beer or some form of alcoholic drinks 
for lung trouble, or other affections, and the 
children born during this period have been 
Alcoholic 
Heredity 436 
Personal Help for the Married 
inebriates, while others born before and after 
this drinking period have been temperate 
Crime qqle hereditary nature of the crim- 
inal propensity is unquestionable. By this is 
not meant simply that criminals are children 
of criminals, but also that they inherit such 
traits of physical and psychical constitution as 
naturally lead to crime. Ribot says: "The 
heredity of the tendency to thieving is so gen- 
erally admitted that it would be superfluous 
to bring together here facts which abound in 
every record of judicial proceedings, to prove 
it." 
One of the best proven and most 
disastrous examples of this is seen 
in children that have been conceived at the 
time the father was partially intoxicated. 
There is no doubt whatever that under such 
circumstances the child is pretty sure either 
to be idiotic, or to have epileptic fits, or to be 
of a feeble mind and irritable and nervous 
system. 
What a curse does the cup here entail upon 
the family! Think, oh, father and mother, 
how horrible to reflect in after years that the 
idiot owes its wretched existence to the in- 
temperate indulgence of the father! 
Drink 
Makes 
Idiots Heredity 
437 
So serious have become the evils 
resulting from the use of alcohol 
by the people of France that the physicians 
and surgeons of the hospitals have issued a 
public warning, which is placarded over the 
country in the hope that it may help to reduce 
the evils of alcoholism. This placard is dis- 
tributed by the public powers and posted con- 
spicuously in the public hospitals. It reads, 
in part, as follows: 
"Alcoholics become insane easily and are 
liable to very painful forms of paralysis. We 
often treat workingmen who have been very 
robust and who have become rapidly con- 
sumptive because they have regularly taken 
before each meal their aperitifs. The children 
of alcoholic parents are almost always badly 
formed, weak minded, insane, scrofulous or 
epileptic. They die often in convulsions. 
Criminals are in large part alcoholics or the 
children of alcoholics." The italics are ours. 
In the older portions of our coun- 
try the examples are abundant 
where vagabondism, pauperism and crime 
have run in certain families for generations. 
In many of our almshouses, for instance, may 
Alcoholism 
in France 
Who People 
Our Alms= 
houses? 438 
Personal Help for the Married 
be found pauper families of three generations, 
grandparents, parents and children. 
From an annual report of the directors of 
the poor in the state of Pennsylvania, we find 
the following: 
"Go back to the time when this almshouse 
was built, and what has become of the chil- 
dren that were there with their parents? 
Their families are in the almshouse today, 
grandparents and grandchildren. They are 
turned out at nineteen and come back again 
with a family of children, and they grow up 
and go out only to come back again." 
These are terrible visitations upon 
the children of men, and if the actual sins 
were inherited we should be most miserable. 
But note this fact: it is only the tendencies 
which are inherited. As Rev. M. T. Lamb 
says: 
"The Scriptures teach that the sins of the 
fathers are visited upon the children unto the 
third and fourth generation. But thank God 
there is no fatalism in the sacred Word, for it 
is added-'unto the third and fourth gener- 
ation of them that hate Med The children 
are not punished for the sins of the parent 
except they follow their parent's example- 
Tendencies Heredity 
439 
'hateMe.' Through the mouth of the prophet 
Ezekiel, God most emphatically protests 
against the fatalistic proverb-'The fathers 
have eaten sour grapes and the children's teeth 
are set on edge.' " 
As I live, saith the Lord God, ye shall not 
have occasion any more to use this proverb 
in Israel." 
Of the tendency to viciousness, Mr. C. Lor- 
ing Brace, secretary of the Children's Aid 
Society of New York, says: 
"I believe that the tendency to viciousness 
may exist in the child, but very often it is 
dormant; the child is not yet old enough to 
allow it to have been developed. I believe if 
such a boy were to continue to live in the 
same environment to which he had been ac- 
customed from birth-associating with the 
children of his class, many of whom might be 
worse than himself-I believe that under 
those circumstances the hereditary taint 
would, in course of time, show itself. But we 
get such boys when they are young; we trans- 
plant them to a wholesome farm life, where 
they soon learn something of the amenities of 
the family and domestic existence. If they 
had this dormant, hereditary tendency it is 440 
Personal Help for the Married 
soon eradicated under the new and whole- 
some conditions in which they are placed." 
For what purpose have we brought 
forward the above facts in regard 
to inheritance? Merely because of their rela- 
tion to the important question of prevention. 
It is this alone which concerns the father who 
reads these pages, influenced by one of the 
noblest of all human motives, the desire to 
benefit his offspring. 
The father's care of the health of his child 
should begin before its birth-nay, before its 
conception. Proper attention then may avert 
taints of the system that, once implanted, no 
medical skill can eradicate. The truth of this 
statement is recognized by breeders of ani- 
mals. Mr. Youatt, one of the best authorities 
upon the breeding of horses, observes: "The 
first axiom we would lay down is this, like 
will produce like; the progeny will inherit 
the qualities or the mingled qualities of the 
parents. We would refer to the subject of 
diseases, and state our perfect conviction that 
there is scarcely one by which either of the 
parents is affected that the foal will not in- 
herit, or, at least, the predisposition to-it; even 
the consequences of ill usage or hard work 
To Avoid 
Diseased 
Children Heredity 
441 
will descend to the progeny. We have had 
proof upon proof that blindness, roaring, 
thick wind, broken wind, curbs, spavins, ring- 
bones and founder have been bequeathed both 
by the sire and the dam to the offspring. It 
should likewise be recollected that, although 
these blemishes may not appear in the imme- 
diate progeny, they frequently will in the next 
generation. Hence the necessity of some 
knowledge of the parentage both of the sire 
and dam." 
The influence of one parent upon 
the other in counteracting or in- 
tensifying the degree and the certainty with 
which the physical qualities of one or both 
are transmitted must be borne in mind. If 
the same defects be possessed by each parent, 
they will be quite certain to appear in the chil- 
dren. If only one parent be affected, some 
or all of the children may escape the inherit- 
ance. 
It is most fortunate that the tendency of a 
disease to propagate itself by inheritance is 
often overpowered by the stronger tendency 
of a vigorous constitution to impress itself 
upon the offspring. If it were possible to 
apply this orinciple to its fullest extent in 
Counter- 
acting 
Influence 442 
Personal Help for the Married 
every individual case, by never mating a 
feeble constitution excepting with one of that 
healthful vigor best calculated to counteract 
its transmission, the heritage of disease would, 
doubtless, soon be unknown. 
Disease is not eternal. The off- 
spring of sinning fathers are not 
without all hope. The counteracting influence 
of one parent over the other with transmission 
of life, of which we have just spoken, does 
much to maintain healthful vitality and 
beauty in spite of the degrading tendencies 
which may be present. In addition, however, 
there is a force resident m our nature by 
which the diseased organization tends to re- 
turn to health. 
Were it not for this beneficent law the 
human race would rapidly degenerate. The 
results of its operation can be seen in the faces 
of the children of squalor and vice that throng 
the narrow streets and wretched houses of our 
crowded cities. If, happily, time had not 
purified the debased organization and restored 
health, we should look in vain there for that 
comeliness of features, grace of figure, and 
strength of limb which are now frequently to 
be observed. As has been truly said, "the 
Hope Held 
Out "Heredity 
443 
effects of disease may be for a third or fourth 
generation, but the laws of health are for a 
thousand." 
The law of inheritance is a certain 
but not an invariable one. Its 
force must not be over-estimated. For if it 
were always true that the child of a father 
tainted with insanity or consumption is born 
with these affections, then moral law would 
imperatively forbid marriage. It is known 
that the offspring of a father who has too 
many or too few fingers sometimes escapes the 
transmission, when both parents have not been 
similarly affected. As the child inherits the 
peculiarities of the mother as well as those 
of the father, there is hope that nature will 
right itself. 
The most cruel of all the maladies 
which afflict us, pulmonary con- 
sumption is the one which is most constantly 
seen in its hereditary form. 
That terrible and invincible foe to human 
life, cancer, is a markedly hereditary afflic- 
tion. Where the taint exists, medical art has 
few resources either to prevent kts transmis- 
sion or to antagonize its effects. 
The Law of 
Inheritance 
Variable 
Consump= 
tion 
Inherited 444 
Personal Help for the Married 
Other 
Transmis= 
sible 
Diseases 
Gout, asthma and disease of the 
heart are also transmissible. They 
are not, of course, exclusively the 
result of inheritance. They are often devel- 
oped during the lifetime of individuals whose 
family record is a clear one. But once having 
made their appearance in a family, they have 
a greater or less proneness to recur. 
Of all the affections which are transmitted 
by inheritance, the various disorders of the 
nervous system are the most common. Hys- 
teria, epilepsy, paralysis and insanity descend 
from the unhappy parents to the more un- 
happy offspring. 
Insanity furnishes another illus- 
tration of the greater disease-transmitting 
power of the mother. It is transmitted about 
one-third times oftener by her than by the 
father. Again, also, we have an illustration 
of the greater influence of the mother over 
the diseases of her daughters; for when the 
mother is insane, it does not affect the sons 
any more than insanity in the father would, 
but, on the other hand, the danger of the 
daughters is double what it would be if the 
father, instead of the mother, were the af- 
fected parent 
Insanity Heredity 
445 
Laws of 
Inheritance 
and Disease 
Undoubtedly, judicious marriages 
would eradicate all hereditary af- 
fections. Dr. J. M. Winn, an English physi- 
cian, who has elaborately studied the nature 
and treatment of hereditary disease, has 
drawn up an estimate of the amount of risk 
incurred under various circumstances, as 
follows: 
"1. If there is a constitutional taint in 
either father or mother, on both sides of the 
contracting parties, the risk is so great as to 
amount almost to a certainty that their off- 
spring will inherit some form of disease. 
"2. If the constitutional disease is only on 
one side, either directly or collaterally 
through uncles or aunts, and the contracting 
parties are both in good bodily health, the 
risk is diminished one-half, and healthy off- 
spring may be the issue of the marriage. 
"3. If there have been no signs of consti- 
tutional disease for a whole generation, we 
can scarcely consider the risk materially les- 
sened, as it so frequently reappears after 
being in abeyance for a whole generation. 
"4. If two whole generations have escaped 
any symptoms of hereditary disease, we may 
fairly hope that the danger has passed." 446 
Personal Help for the Married 
Atavism 
As a rule, diseases are transmitted 
directly from the parents to the children, 
thence to the grandchildren, and so on un- 
interruptedly from generation to generation. 
In some cases the transmission takes place 
from the grandparents to the grandchildren, 
one generation escaping altogether. This 
resemblance of a child to its grandparents or 
great-grandparents, rather than its own father 
or mother, is known under the scientific 
name of atavism. 
It is owing to this influence that disease 
and deformity, as well as strength and beauty, 
pass by one generation to appear in another. 
A child resembles in form or feature its 
grandfather, or it inherits the epileptic fits 
or the consumption for which its grand- 
father is remembered, the father being en- 
tirely healthy. 
The likeness of a child to its grandparents 
rather than to its immediate parents is, al- 
though a noteworthy fact, one which does 
not excite much comment from us. But 
when, as is sometimes the case, the child par- 
takes of the characteristics of a very remote 
ancestor or of the traits of some far removed 
representative of a collateral line, descended Heredity 
447 
from a common progenitor, then a feeling of 
astonishment arises. 
The children of men who have 
exhausted themselves by excesses, 
or solitary vice, or insufficient food, or severe 
bodily and mental strain, are not what they 
would have been had the father not gone to 
this excess. 
Very intellectual men rarely have 
large families, and though to some 
extent talent is an inheritance, the children of 
such a parent are apt to be either quite below 
or quite above the average. 
The offspring of men that marry 
late in life usually manifest some 
signs of the decrepitude which marks their 
senile father. They are not long-lived, and 
are rarely healthy. Their teeth and hair fall 
early, and they are perhaps never conspicu- 
ous for sturdy muscles and power of endur- 
ance. 
Not unlike are those children 
which are conceived at a time 
when the father is recovering from or is 
threatened with a severe illness. A sound 
hygiene forbids conception when either par- 
Children 
Otherwise 
Injured 
Intellectual 
Men's 
Children 
Offspring 
of Late 
Marriages 
Pre=lllness 
of Either 
Parent 448 
Personal Help for the Married 
ent is physically or mentally unfitted for the 
act of bringing children into the world. It 
is not only bad for the parent, but it may 
bring into the world a child condemned to 
an early death, or perhaps worse, a lingering 
and painful life. 
The season of the year exercises a 
very manifest action on the secre- 
tions of the male element. In domestic and 
wild animals this is familiar to everyone. 
To a less extent it is seen in the human race. 
In England there are about seven per cent, 
more conceptions during the spring months 
than during any other quarter of the year. 
The mortality of infants conceived in the 
springtime is decidedly less than that of those 
whose existence commenced at any other 
period of the year. 
It would thus seem that a well-defined law 
indicates that the male, as a rule, is more cap- 
able of perpetuating his species when the icy 
winter loses its hold of the land and the 
warm breath of the south wind evokes, as if 
by magic, sweet violets and gay daffodils 
from the dark and cold earth. 
The Season 
of the Year CHAPTER XXV 
CLIMACTERIC PERIOD 
Man's sexual life is divided up into 
years in groups of seven. Not, of 
course, absolutely unvarying, but sufficiently 
accurate to prove the law. From birth to 14 
years of age, childhood; from 14 to 21, adoles- 
cence; from 21 to 49, the age of greatest virility 
in man, the child-bearing period of woman. 
Somewhere between 42 and 49, 
averaging about 45 years of age, 
all women experience a physical change, 
known as the "change of life." At this time the 
menses cease to flow and woman becomes bar- 
ren; the child-bearing period has come to a 
close. The average time of probable mother- 
hood is about 28 years; of possible mother- 
hood, about 35 years. 
The change of life in man comes 
from 10 to 15 years later than 
in woman. Most men do not know, or at least 
do not realize, that man experiences a change 
Seven=Year 
Periods 
Change of 
Life in 
Woman 
Change of 
Life in 
Man 
449 450 
Personal Help for the Married 
similar to that of woman. The change is not 
so marked as in woman and is more gradual 
than in the other sex. Man may still become 
a father, but there are physical changes that 
are serious, and unless a man is very careful 
serious results may result from over-indul- 
gence or overwork, or want of care in method 
of life. 
After the change, which may take 
from one to three years to accom- 
plish, both in men and women, there is a new 
lease of life to both mother and father, pro- 
vided, of course, all has gone well. In both 
cases it may be the beginning of a decline 
which leads to decrepit old age or to death. 
Life insurance companies are more ready to 
insure a woman after the change of life than 
immediately before it. 
During this critical time, when cer- 
tain organs are resting from their 
labor and physiological changes are going on, 
the husband should be very watchful and care- 
ful of his wife's health and comfort. This 
change may mark the continuation of a life 
of misery, whose end is the grave; or it may 
be the beginning of a glorious afternoon of 
life, whose western skies shall be all aglow 
New Lease 
of Life 
A Husband's 
Solicitude REWARD OF A WELL-SPENT LIFE 
451 HALE AND HEARTY AT NINETY-SEVEN 
452 Climacteric Period 
453 
with the radiant tints of a beautiful sunset. 
Undue care, severe labor, anxiety, mental 
worry should all be banished until robust 
health is fully restored. This is a time when 
solicitous care on the part of the husband is 
repaid many fold. 
Dr. Lyman Sperry, in his Hus- 
band and Wife, says: "Men do 
undergo a decided change near the threshold 
of old age, and sometimes it is just as marked 
as that which takes place in women; but, as 
a rule, the loss of sexual appetite and power 
experienced by males is more gradual and not 
nearly so definite as the change experienced 
by most females. 
"Some students of the phenomenon of sex- 
ual decline in males call it a 'change of life' 
and assert that it is attended with almost as 
much physical disaster as the corresponding 
epoch in the physical life of woman." 
Dr. Acton says: "It is somewhat 
curious to notice the naivete ex- 
hibited by elderly gentlemen. Patients from 
60 to 80 come to me, complaining that they 
are not sexually so energetic as they were; 
that the sexual act is no longer attended with 
the same degree of pleasure as formerly, They 
Dr. Sperry's 
Testimony 
Old Men 
Complain 454 
Personal Help for the Married 
grumble because desire does not come on so 
frequently, or because, when they attempt the 
act, they no longer experience perfect erection. 
"It can not be concealed that there are per- 
sons moving in good society (although fortu- 
nately they are few) who come to the surgeon 
ostensibly for other reasons, but virtually 
under the belief that he will prescribe some- 
thing that will excite their flagging powers. 
I tell them that it is a better guarantee for 
their life and happiness to remain invalids as 
they are than to have their organs strengthened 
and then to kill themselves by inches through 
fresh fits of excitement. I need hardly say 
that every upright practitioner refuses to be 
an accomplice in any way whatever to mere 
excitement. Libertinage in the elderly man is 
a crime. This language held to elderly men 
is good in more ways than one. It proves to 
them that their weakened condition depends 
upon themselves and not upon a medicine or 
a physician. 
"The impunity with which some elderly 
men continue the practice of sexual intercourse 
is certainly surprising; still, abuse or excess, 
whichever we may term it, must sooner or later 
tell its tale. Climacteric Period 
455 
"Many of the affections of the brain, under 
which elderly persons suffer, and to which a 
certain proportion annually succumb, are 
caused by excesses committed at a time when 
the enfeebled powers are unequal to support- 
ing them." 
Blessed should the old man deem 
himself who can put up with calm- 
ness, happiness and reason instead of craving 
after those senile accessions of delirium too 
often the parents of regret and remorse with- 
out end. The chastisement of those who love 
the sex too much is to love too long. Is nature 
silent? 
It is a crime against her-a crime for which 
she may some day claim a deep revenge. Why, 
then, not listen to the voice of Wisdom-for 
those who sit at her feet and listen to her 
awful counsels, shall be delivered from strong 
passion, and many sore straits and much folly. 
Let the elderly man, then, pause and reflect 
that a human sacrifice, either male or female, 
is generally bound to the horns of the altar that 
sanctifies such marriages. In the present state 
of society, with our manners, passions, miseries, 
man does not always die-he sometimes de- 
stroys himself, 
Crime 
Against 
Nature 456 
Personal Help for the Married 
No Fool 
Like an Old 
Fool 
Unfortunately, there are those 
who, either more infatuated, more 
helplessly drifting on the tide of passion, or 
more depraved, use all their endeavors to 
realize desires which it is no longer possible 
to satisfy, unless by a forced compliance of the 
organs. .Not only has the energy-the super- 
fluous vitality of early days-disappeared, but 
the organic power of reproduction is nearly 
obliterated. The imagination, polluted with 
impurities, seeks pleasures which reason and 
good sense repudiate. There are instances of 
debauched and shameless old age which, de- 
ficient in vital resources, strives to supply their 
place by fictitious excitement; a kind of bru- 
tish lasciviousness, that is ever the more 
cruelly punished by nature, from the fact that 
the immediately ensuing debility is in direct 
proportion to the forced stimulation which has 
preceded it. 
There are such old libertines who 
are constantly seeking after the 
means of revivifying their withered, used-up 
organism, as if that were possible without im- 
minent danger. The law- of nature is without 
appeal. To submit to it is the result of great 
Beware! 
Danger 
Ahead Climacteric Period 
457 
good judgment, and the reward is speedy. But 
submission is no invariable rule, and persons 
of prudence and chastity have but faint con- 
ception of the devices to evade it, of the folly, 
caprice, luxury, immodesty, the monstrous 
lewdness and indescribable saturnalia of the 
senses which are the result. 
Nevertheless, let it be remarked, it is sel- 
dom-very seldom-that punishment comes at 
once; old age which disease changes every day 
into decrepitude-often sudden death, and 
death that lingers for years, a consequence of 
cruel infirmities-prove the justice of nature. 
It may, perhaps, be thought singu- 
lar to suggest a moral based upon 
such vile practices as the above, but allusion 
to them may not be without benefit to those 
beginning life; let those persons take warning 
who with an active imagination once enter 
upon a career of vice, and dream that at a 
certain spot they can arrest their progress. 
It is an old tale, and often told, that, al- 
though the slope of criminality be easy and 
gradual, he who launches himself on such a 
course will acquire, as he goes, velocity and 
force, until at last he can not be stayed. 
A Moral 
Basis for 
Reform 458 
Personal Help for the Married 
The 
Painter's 
Skill 
The following quotation may ap- 
ply not only to sensuality, but to 
any and all of those practices which bind the 
individual in chains of sin: 
"Persons not accustomed to examine the 
motives of their actions, to reckon up the 
countless nails that rivet the chains of habit, 
or perhaps being bound by none so obdurate 
as those I have confessed to, may recoil from 
this as from an overcharged picture. But what 
short of such bondage is it? 
"I have seen a print after Correggio in 
which three female figures are ministering to 
a man who sits fast bound at the root of a tree. 
Sensuality is soothing him, evil habit is nail- 
ing him to a branch, and repugnance at the 
same instant of time is applying a snake to his 
side. In his face is feeble delight, the recollec- 
tion of the past, rather than the perception of 
present pleasures, languid enjoyment of evil 
with utter imbecility to good, a Sybaritic 
effeminacy, a submission to bondage, the 
spring of the will gone down like a broken 
clock, the sin and the suffering co-instanta- 
neous or the latter forerunning the former, 
remorse preceding action-all this represented 
in one point of time. When I saw this I ad- Climacteric Period 
459 
mired the wonderful skill of the painter. But 
when I went away I wept, because I thought 
of my own condition. 
"Of that there is no hope that it should ever 
change. The waters have gone over me. But 
out of the black depths, could I be heard, I 
would cry to all those who have but set a foot 
in the perilous flood. Could the youth look 
into my desolation, and be made to understand 
what a dreary thing it is when a man shall 
feel himself going down a precipice with open 
eyes and passive will-to see his destruction 
and to have no power to stop it, and yet to feel 
it all the way emanating from himself; to per- 
ceive all goodness emptied out of him, and yet 
not be able to forget a time when it was other- 
wise; to bear about with him the spectacle 
of his own self-ruin; could he feel the body 
of death out of which I cry hourly with feebler 
and feebler outcry to be delivered." 
There is a terrible truthfulness in this de- 
scription of the depths of long-indulged evil 
habit. There is, perhaps, only one lower 
depth; that in which no remorse, no longing 
after past self-restraint or purity is felt any 
more. TEAM WORK 
460 THIRD DIVISION 
Heart to Heart Talks to Parents 
461 mother: eternities can not outweigh her influence 
462 CHAPTER XXVI 
A TALK TO MOTHERS 
The object of all moral training 
of a child is self-government or 
self-control. Before a child is capable of this 
he must be taught to know right from wrong, 
which is largely the work of the intellect. His 
conscience must be awakened and quickened. 
Conscience is a natural instinct by which God's 
spirit and man's conception of right and wrong 
prompt him to action, and condemn what he 
conceives to be wrong and approve what he 
conceives to be right. The will must be trained 
and developed, so that a child can will to do 
what he knows to be right and his conscience 
approves. He is then governed from within 
and need not be governed from without. This 
moral training requires years and should begin 
in infancy. 
When a child eats some forbidden 
thing or does some forbidden act, 
from which he suffers, it is the mother's oppor- 
Moral 
Training 
First Idea of 
Wrongdoing 
463 464 
Personal Help for Parents 
tunity to make it see that its suffering is due to 
the violation of law. The pain should be alle- 
viated, if possible, but the lesson that nature 
would teach, through pain, emphasized. A 
little later in life, the child can be taught that 
all desires, thoughts, words and acts that will 
help self and others, are right, and those that 
injure self and others, wrong. These princi- 
ples can be applied gradually to the laws of 
home, society and God. 
Mother is the one to whom the 
child comes, naturally, with its sor- 
rows and joys, its desires and needs. This is 
her opportunity to make a lasting impression 
upon the mind, and to fortify it against its 
snares, temptations and pitfalls which lie 
ahead. In order to meet this responsibility, 
the mother should have a thorough knowledge 
and realization of present-day evils and social 
conditions. 
Present social conditions are such 
that sex instruction is one of the 
mothers most important duties to the child. 
As soon as a child begins to inquire about its 
origin, it is old enough to be told the truth in 
the right way. Some children become inter- 
Mother, the 
Natural 
Teacher 
Importance 
of Sex 
Instruction A Talk to Mothers 
465 
ested when they are three and four; all normal 
children by the time they are seven. Since the 
inquiring mind will not rest satisfied until a 
plausible answer has been received, and since 
the ignorant and vicious youth is ever alert 
and anxious to give this information in a per- 
nicious way, it behooves thoughtful parents to 
safeguard their children with the truth told in 
the right way. No normal boy should reach 
the age of eight, or girl the age of ten, before 
they have been told the story of life. 
Children often discover, or are taught, the 
secret vice at a very early age. Sex conscious- 
ness and pleasure may be early developed be- 
cause of some unnatural conditions of the sex 
organs. For this reason, parents should know 
that these parts are normal in their children. 
When they are observed to frequently handle, 
or scratch these organs, unnatural conditions 
are to be suspected. The child should not be 
slapped or scolded; rather call in the family 
physician. To keep a child ignorant concern- 
ing this vice is impossible, therefore unwise. 
Therb is not one boy in fifty who does not know 
of the vice, and understand the language used 
to describe it. Trying to keep a child from 
vicious companions is good as far as it goes, 466 
Personal Help for Parents 
but the facts are that the child is most likely 
to discover the vice himself, while it is hardly 
possible to keep a child entirely away from the 
vicious. The only sane method is to teach the 
child the laws of personal purity. If the secret 
vice is to be prevented, some children should 
receive counsel when they are six, others at 
eight, all by the time they are ten or twelve. 
Children have inherited lustful tendencies. 
Their troubles are more largely from within 
than from without. Hence the children that 
have been most carefully guarded from bad 
company and kept in ignorance are usually the 
ones who are most injured by the secret sin. 
A single talk to a child is not sufficient. 
We frequently instruct and appeal to the child 
to be obedient, truthful and honest; in like 
manner we should at reasonable periods in- 
struct and encourage him to keep his 
thoughts and desires pure. 
The story of life can be as effec- 
tively given by one parent as the 
other. When children develop ear- 
ly or are very inquisitive, it would be well 
to begin early and tell the stories faster than 
to the other class. Boys and girls are neuter 
Similar 
Information 
for Boy 
and Girl A Talk to Mothers 
467 
as to gender until they are ten or eleven years 
old. The information given to one may be 
given to both. Carefully ascertain if your 
child is normal in his or her sexual organs. 
This is too vital to be neglected. A simple 
operation performed on a boy or girl when 
only a few days, weeks, months, or years old 
would often save it from a life of impure 
thoughts and vicious habits. 
Every possible means should be 
used to keep the boys and girls 
from cultivating morbid curiosity about the 
sexual organs. This is not accomplished by 
telling them that the difference between a boy 
and girl is that one wears trousers and the other 
dresses. It can be prevented or overcome by 
having them both together in the home under 
the mother's watchful care. While bathing or 
dressing the baby the older boys or girls may 
be permitted to view and admire the baby's 
body. In one of these ways in a perfectly nat- 
ural and modest manner she can make it pos- 
sible for the children to see the difference be- 
tween boys and girls. More than likely one 
will ask some question as to this. The mother 
then can explain that the organs of sex make 
To Satisfy 
Morbid 
Curiosity 468 
Personal Help for Parents 
the difference between the boys and girls; that 
this will cause a boy to grow up to be a man 
and a girl to grow up to be a woman. The 
earlier in life the boy and girl learn this dif- 
ference, the less of morbid curiosity will they 
develop. 
When a boy reaches the tenth 
year he begins to look upon life 
from the masculine point of view and his 
father is his natural teacher, but if he is dead 
or careless the mother should see that her boy 
is given such information as his developing 
boyhood demands. The informed mother 
could herself do this; others have their family 
physician give the boy talks or secure suitable 
books containing this information. But one 
should be careful to get only such books as are 
perfectly chaste, accurate and adapted to his 
age. 
When a girl reaches her tenth 
or eleventh year she begins to 
look upon life from the feminine point of view 
and her mother becomes her natural teacher. 
But if she is dead or indifferent the father 
should see that his daughter receives from him, 
a lady doctor, or a good book what her de- 
veloping girlhood demands. 
The Boy 
of Ten 
The Girl 
of Ten A Talk to Mothers 
469 
By beginning this instruction 
early your child's first impres- 
sion regarding the organs of sex will be that 
they are pure and sacred; you will retain its 
confidence and it will feel free to come to you 
for future instruction. But if your children 
get this information from vicious and ignorant 
youths, their minds will be filled with im- 
purity. You also may lose their confidence 
and they reach a condition in which they will 
not allow you or anybody else to advise them 
on these matters. 
When a girl is eleven, her ap- 
proaching womanhood demands 
further sex knowledge. The study of social 
questions has made rapid progress in re- 
cent years. There are few sincere, thought- 
ful parents who do not recognize the need of 
instruction in these matters for children. Wise 
mothers are asking, what, when and how shall 
the truth be told? 
The mother should instruct her 
daughter concerning her ap- 
proaching adolescence, before the courses 
start. That change usually occurs when the 
girl is from twelve to fourteen. In girls of 
precocious development, it may occur in the 
Advantages 
of Begins 
ning Early 
Wise 
Instruction 
Needed 
Dawning of 
Womanhood 470 
Personal Help for Parents 
eleventh year. Many mothers say nothing to 
their daughters about this period of life, which 
is a very great mistake. When it occurs in the 
uninformed girl, she often is greatly fright- 
ened and resorts to some injurious device to 
stop the work of nature. From doctors, hus- 
bands and wives I have found that many 
women owe their poor health to mothers who 
failed to give this vital information. 
In this talk the mother should 
inform her daughter about her 
organs of sex, their God-given functions and 
the meaning of the change that is likely to 
come to her at any time. Don't intimate that 
she is to be ashamed of these organs, but teach 
her that they form the sacred sanctuary which 
may one day enable her to become the 
sweetest and holiest of God's creatures-a 
pure, happy mother. Ask her to notify you of 
the first sign of the change and promise to give 
her another talk about how to care for herself 
at the time. 
A true mother will be her daugh- 
ter's best "chum," cultivating the 
most intimate confidence and companionship. 
If you do this, your daughter will feel free to 
come to you for information and advice per- 
The Female 
Form 
Companion 
to Daughter A Talk to Mothers 
471 
taining to her sex problems and you will rarely 
have to say to her, "Thou shalt not." 
When the girl is twelve the mother 
should have a confidential talk 
with her about the secret vice. While girls are 
not so likely as boys to learn or practice it, yet 
authorities claim that one-third of the females 
fall into this at some time in life. It is also 
claimed that more women than men are in the 
asylums because of it. This is because their 
nervous systems are much more delicate than 
those of men. In schools and sometimes 
among servants in the home may be found a 
sexual pervert who will take a fiendish delight 
in teaching this vice to a little girl. Mothers 
can not be too cautious about these dangers. 
Few mothers begin to comprehend 
the mental phases of dawning 
womanhood. This means a real transition 
from one distinct period of life to another, 
from the experience of girlhood to woman- 
hood. For the first four years of adolescence 
there is a constant clash in her mind between 
the feeling of the girl that was and the 
woman that is to be. This is caused by 
the creation of the sex life. That new 
life is stimulating rapid growth and changes 
Confidential 
Talk 
A Real 
Transition 472 
Personal Help for Parents 
in many organs of the body, awakening 
the social nature, quickening every faculty 
of the mind and giving new impulses to the 
moral nature. No wonder that the girl does 
not always understand herself. The mother 
needs tact and wisdom combined if she is to un- 
derstand her daughter and assist her in giving 
proper direction to this new life. Inform her 
that these strange experiences are due to the 
changes taking place in her body and mind; 
that she will often have to be sentimental and 
self-conscious. Remind her that you have not 
forgotten the experiences of your own girl- 
hood, that you are sympathetic, interested 
in helping her overcome all wrong tendencies, 
and that you will gladly aid her in this new 
life to the development of charming, ideal 
womanhood. 
Everything pertaining to woman- 
hood should be told her. Instil in- 
to her mind slowly and cautiously the beauties 
of wifehood and the sacredness of motherhood 
and teach her that these glorious honors in 
their perfection come only to those who know 
themselves, think pure thoughts and live pure 
lives. Don't tease little girls about sweet- 
hearts. Don't rush them into society. Allow 
Of Vital 
Importance A Talk to Mothers 
473 
them to remain innocent, playful girls as long 
as possible. When one is fourteen or fifteen, 
tactfully impress upon her mind that unkissed 
lips will be the most queenly gift she can offer 
at the marriage altar; that virginity of mind 
and body will be appreciated as of more 
value than the most costly jewels. Teach her 
to demand a white life of her male friends and 
admirers, and to demand as pure a life of 
her coming prince as he will demand of her. 
NO ONE HAD TOLD HER 
She was just in the bloom of life's morning; 
She was happy, and free, and fair; 
And a glance in her bright eyes would tell you 
Of nothing but innocence there. 
She was waiting for someone to tell her 
As she stood with reluctant feet, 
On the banks of the wonderful river 
Where childhood and womanhood meet. 
She waited, but still no one told her 
The secret of life so sublime; 
And she held not the safeguard of knowledge 
In life's beautiful morning time. 
The flower so sweetly unfolding 
Was crushed by a rough hand one day, 
And the jewel, so sacred, so precious, 
Was stolen and taken away.-Selected. 474 
Personal Help for Parents 
Notice to Mothers.-Should you feel the need of 
further help in opening the way to the heart-to-heart talks 
you will desire to have with your boy or girl after reading 
this volume, separate books, worth their weight in gold, 
have been prepared for that purpose. "Personal Help for 
Boys," for boys under fifteen years of age, and "Personal 
Help for Girls," of same age; also "Personal Help for 
Young Men," and "Personal Help for Young Women," 
fjr older boys and girls. These four volumes come in 
uniform size of over 300 pages each, beautifully bound, 
in gift editions, at only $3.00 each. Order from the pub- 
lishers. 
The S. A. Mullikin Co., 
Cincinnati, Ohio. TIME TO GET UP 
475 WHAT WILL HIS FUTURE BE? 
476 CHAPTER XXVII 
A TALK TO FATHERS 
In the past we have written, talked 
and sung of the dudes, responsi- 
bilities, faithfulness, sacrifice and love of 
motherhood. Is there any reason why the 
father should have less of these lofty parental 
qualities than the mother? Did not God in his 
early revelations to his chosen people honor 
fatherhood as highly as motherhood in his re- 
lation to the training of children? In no other 
way has God bestowed larger power, honor 
and responsibility upon man than in making 
him capable of fatherhood. Fatherhood, the 
giving of life to another, makes man a co- 
worker with God in the creation -of human 
beings. This creative relation to children 
gives dignity, sacredness and immeasureable 
responsibility to fatherhood. 
If a man at the head of a home is to 
measure up to the full meaning of 
fatherhood, he must assume the respons'bility 
importance 
of Father- 
hood 
Son's Natu- 
ral Teacher 
477 478 
Personal Help for Parents 
of teaching purity and sex truths to his boy in- 
stead of leaving him to get his primary sex 
culture from the playground, his preparatory 
sex enlightenment from the street, and his 
complete course of sex education from the 
saloon, the gambling house and the brothel, 
where the moral atmosphere is saturated with 
all that is vicious and polluting-where the 
vilest pictures are seen, vilest conversation 
heard and the vilest associations formed. 
If his son decides to be a farmer, 
he tells him all he knows about 
farming and sends him to an agri- 
cultural college. When the boy inclines to 
practice medicine, he tell him all he knows 
about it and sends him to a medical college. 
His interest in his son would lead him to fol- 
low this plan if he chose some other calling or 
profession. Yet, as compared to the educa- 
tion, training and development of a boy in rela- 
tion to the teaching of purity and sex truths, all 
other training pales into insignificance. In- 
deed, a boy just as easily can become a success- 
ful farmer without a knowledge of agriculture, 
horticulture and stock-raising; a successful 
physician without a knowledge of medicine; 
a successful lawyer without a knowledge of the 
Other 
Phases of 
Education 
Looked 
After A Talk to Fathers 
479 
law, as he can develop into a pure, virile man- 
hood without a correct knowledge of his sex 
nature. Since the half truths are often more 
injurious than ignorance, and since the un- 
folding sex life of a boy demands information, 
and as he will get it, true or false, it logically 
follows that correct sex education is the only 
safe method to be followed in his develop- 
ment 
The father who holds to or prac- 
tices the double standard of morals 
is not qualified to teach these truths to his son. 
If he believes that it is less a sin for his son to 
be immoral than for his daughter; if he be- 
lieves in the "sex-necessity fallacy" for his son 
and absolute virginity for his daughter; if he 
uses vulgar words or indulges in lascivious 
stories, he is disqualified for this sacred duty of 
a father. The mayor of a western town recent- 
ly boasted to me of taking his seventeen-year- 
old son to St. Louis and introducing him to an 
immoral life. Such a father's influence on his 
own son is a blighting curse. The sons of such 
beastly sires are to be pitied. 
I assume that I am now addressing 
a father who at least desires to be 
a worthy example and wise teacher and trainer 
Unethical 
Ideals 
The Model 
Father 480 
Personal Help for Parents 
of his son. Such a father should not only be 
pure in outward life, but he also should re- 
gard the organs of sex and their functions as 
pure and sacred, possess a fair knowledge of 
sex and be able to use pure language in con- 
fidential talks with his boy. I am fully aware 
that very few fathers have had an opportunity 
to hear a series of lectures or read a good book 
on these matters that would help them perform 
this duty. The mission of this book is to aid 
and inspire every sincere father in supplying 
his son with these truths. 
This is not a difficult problem to 
the fairly well-informed father 
who has strong convictions of his duty. He 
can start with his son as soon as he asks about 
his origin, tell him the stories of life six months 
or a year apart, and continue to give him 
such information as his developing boyhood 
and manhood demand. But to the uninformed 
father, in middle life, for the first time aroused 
to the great need of this teaching and to 
his personal responsibility to his boys from 
five to twenty years old, this is not an 
easy task. In such a case I suggest that, 
if possible, he should hear a good course 
of lectures, and buy a practical and com- 
How to 
Proceed A Talk to Fathers 
481 
plete book on sex for himself and smaller 
books adapted to the age and sex of 
his children. If he has a boy from five to eight 
years old, begin by telling him the story of how 
plants are brought into the world. As to one 
ten to fifteen, I would advise that he give a 
book containing stories of life from plants to 
man and encourage him to read it. If there 
is real companionship between the father and 
son, a better plan would be for them to read 
the book together and talk with each about it. 
When this is done and a few days have passed 
the father should give him a book containing 
such information as a boy from ten to fourteen 
should have. When that is done the boy 
should be encouraged to talk over any personal 
problem he may have. It also would be well 
for the father to inquire if his son has any 
irritation or soreness in his sexual organs, if the 
prepuce is capable of passing back and if the 
frenulum is too short. The boy should under- 
stand that he will be welcomed at any time to 
return with his problems and ask for informa- 
tion. 
To a boy over fifteen a book should be 
presented that covers the problems of a young 
man. If there is a companionable relation 482 
Personal Help for Parents 
between the father and son, it would be well 
for them to read and talk over its revelations. 
The son should be encouraged to ask questions 
and to talk about his personal problems. 
In no case should this be post- 
poned until a boy is twelve. Out 
of thousands of the young men who have read 
the author's books for young men and in that 
way were led to write him about their troubles 
not one in twenty-five learned the habit after 
he was twelve, many began when they were 
eight and ten, a few when five and six, one stat- 
ing that so far as he knew he was born practic- 
ing the vice. 
After lecturing to hundreds of 
thousands of young men, and in- 
terviewing thousands of them annually for 
years, Prof. Shannon advised parents to give 
their boys a purity book at the age of four- 
teen, and at that time a more complete talk 
on the nature and effects of the secret sin. If 
he is found to be guilty he should be induced 
to break off. When this sexual desire is due to 
a tight prepuce, this must be treated by a phy- 
'sician. If due to a tight frenulum that also 
requires a doctor's attention. As a rule his 
sexual excitement grows out of a mind that 
Informing 
Boy of 
Secret Sin 
Purity Book 
at Fourteen A Talk to Fathers 
483 
has been filled with lascivious thoughts from 
some schoolmate or servant. This can be cor- 
rected by satisfying the boy's morbid curiosi- 
ty with the truth and a faithful warning of 
the dangers of this vice. 
A wise father will have a frank, 
positive understanding with every 
servant in the house and employe on the farm, 
or in his business, that he is not to encourage 
vice by vulgar conversation, vicious practice, 
or by presenting the child with a vile book or 
showing him a lewd picture. Keep an eye on 
the little visitors-and the big ones, too. 
There are in circulation some most inconceiv- 
ably immoral books which teach children 
every phase of sexual perversion. I recently 
secured such a book and it was estimated by 
the school board that two hundred or more 
boys from twelve to sixteen had read it. 
Only a few months ago the president of a 
female college who lived in the girl's 
dormitory, told me of how one of the college 
girls had introduced his three-year-old boy 
to the vice. About the same time and in the 
same state, an editor said to me, "Professor, you 
don't realize the temptations to which the 
small Southern boy is exposed in his relation 
Not Sus= 
picious but 
Watchful 484 
Personal Help for Parents 
to the colored help about the home." A wise 
father will be on guard from the time his boy 
has quit the cradle until he has passed safely 
through the stormy period of adolescence. 
Notice to Fathers.-Do you want your boy to have 
a fair chance to avoid the pitfalls which lie hidden in his 
pathway? Present him with a copy of "Personal Help for 
Boys" if fourteen years of age or under, or "Personal Help 
for Young Men," if older. This information will safe- 
guard his future, and open the way wonderfully for the 
heart-to-heart talks you will doubtless wish to have with 
him after reading this volume. Published in uniform size 
of over 300 pages, illustrated, and bound beautifully for 
gift purposes. Only $3.00 per volume. Order of the pub- 
lishers. 
The S. A. Mullikin Co., 
Cincinnati, Ohio. CHAPTER XXVIII 
child's right to sex knowledge 
Right to 
Sex Knowl= 
edge 
Children are born into our homes 
helpless and knowing nothing. 
They come to us with the largest capacities 
for developing physical strength, acquiring 
knowledge and building character. As 
parents we naturally assume the duty and re- 
sponsibility of safeguarding them through 
this period of helplessness and of being their 
earliest teachers. As children grow and their 
minds develop there is ever an increasing 
demand for knowledge. Their safety, health, 
normal growth, success, happiness, here and 
hereafter, depend very largely upon their 
getting a variety of true knowledge from a 
natural wholesome source, at the right time 
and in the best way. And a knowledge of 
sex, it here should be said, is as fully necessary 
to these ends as knowing how to read, write 
and count, or a knowledge of language, his- 
tory, mathematics, geography, science or 
485 486 
Personal Help for Parents 
mechanics. Indeed, there is an earlier con* 
scious desire and moral need for a knowledge 
of sex than for knowledge along the course of 
the lines mentioned. 
Children are said to be "animated 
interrogation points." They are 
living persistent questioners. They often ask 
questions that would puzzle a philosopher, 
tax the patience of a Job, and embarrass the 
wise -and learned. In all inquiries they ev- 
idently are sincere and show perfect faith in 
the willingness and ability of their parents to 
explain to them the mysteries of nature. They 
are constantly reminded that they are three, 
four, five, or six years old; that they have seen 
that number of birthdays and of Christmas 
days. Wonderful events these in a child's life! 
But children can recall but one, two or three of 
them. Very naturally they think back to their 
first birthday and thus an interest is awaken- 
ed in what lies beyond it. They listen eagerly 
to their parents as they relate interesting ex- 
periences of former years and often interrupt 
with the question, "Was I in the world at that 
time?" "No, no, darling; that occurred years 
before you were bom." 
Early Seeks 
This 
Knowledge Child's Right to Sex Knowledge 
487 
Children 
Inquisitive 
At these ages children are asking, 
"Where do the rain, the snow and 
the clouds come from?" When little kitties, 
pigs, puppies, calves or colts are born, they 
very naturally inquire about their origin. All 
of these experiences and incidents naturally 
lead children to ask, "Mamma, where was I 
before I was born?" How did I get into this 
world?" etc. An angel could not be more 
sincere or ask a purer question. This is no 
evidence of depravity, but a proof of their 
mental awakening and demand for knowledge 
that they are prepared to receive. For a child 
not to ask about his origin until he is eight or 
ten means either that he has heard about his 
birth and is keeping this information from his 
parents, or that he is not developing mentally 
as rapidly as he should. Usually investigation 
will show the first to be the explanation. 
When a child has become interested about his 
origin, he will never rest satisfied until he has 
received a proper explanation. 
The lower animals are governed 
by instinct; man by reason. The 
lower animals instinctively keep out of the fire, 
avoid poisons and places of danger. But na- 
ture will no more teach a child not to violate 
Controlled 
by Reason 
and Will 488 
Personal Help for Parents 
the laws of sex than it will teach an infant not 
to crawl into the fire, a pool of water, over a 
precipice, or not to eat glass or poison. 
Among the lower animals, the sexual impulse 
is guided and controlled by instinct. In man 
this impulse is to be guided by reason and con- 
trolled by the will and the attitude of reason 
and will toward it will be almost wholly deter- 
mined by the instruction one has received. If 
this education is timely and wisely imparted, 
scientific and moral, in nearly all cases the 
virtue of the individual will be safeguarded. 
If in this matter the child's education has 
been wholly neglected, he will find his reason 
and will weak or powerless in the presence 
of temptation. And if his information was 
received alone from impure sources, as a mat- 
ter of choice, he will most likely be immoral. 
Why does the small boy's con- 
science condemn him when he 
steals, lies and is disobedient, but does not 
when he practices the secret vice? The only 
answer is that he was properly taught by the 
school, church and home regarding the wrong 
of stealing, lying and disobedience, but re- 
ceived little or no instruction as to self-pollu- 
tion. Why do young men hang their heads in 
Conscience, 
Child of 
Education Child's Right to Sex Knowledge 
489 
shame when guilty of lying, stealing, drunk- 
enness and murder, but boast of their con- 
quests over female virtue? The simple and 
only reason is that the school, church and 
home gave them true instruction as to the 
first crimes but not with regard to the last. 
The children are taught the 
names and functions of every 
organ of the body, as if health, happiness, 
success, character and destiny depended upon 
this knowledge being correctly given, until 
they come to the sacred organs and functions 
of human reproduction. Here, however, 
books and teachers have been silent as death, 
as if health, happiness, success, character and 
destiny had no relation to a true knowledge 
of sex. If we would safeguard the health, 
happiness and character of the children of to- 
day, who are to be the youths of tomorrow 
and the men and women of the succeeding 
day, we must give our children a knowledge 
of themselves with respect to sex matters. 
Authorities agree that most phys- 
ical ailments of young men are 
directly or indirectly related to 
their sex problems. One noted physician 
has declared that fully half of all physical 
Past Edu= 
cation 
Inconsistent 
Physical 
Reasons for 
Sex 
Education 490 
Personal Help for Parents 
problems of young men from fifteen to 
twenty-five years of age are due to a viola- 
tion of nature's sex laws. No other line of 
education is so essential to a child's health 
and physical development as that which 
relates to sex. If the child is told the truth 
about his birth, he will come freely and 
frankly to his parents for additional infor- 
mation as he grows older. He will welcome 
and appreciate information and advice vol- 
untarily given. 
Investigations show that most 
cases of insanity are directly trace- 
able to sex problems in both men 
and women. Thus the child should not only 
be taught for its own sake, but for the sake of 
future generations, that the sex problem is 
not only a physical but a mental one as well. 
Schools and colleges do not produce great 
minds. They direct, train and develop the 
inherited mental possibilities. Children 
should have every possible encouragement 
and opportunity for mental improvement. 
They can not succeed without it. Their off- 
spring will inherit improved mental possibil- 
ities if their parents are wisely trained in 
childhood. On the other hand violation of 
Mental 
Reasons for 
Sex 
Education Child's Right to Sex Knowledge 
491 
the laws of sex is one of the greatest sources 
of mental degeneracy. Thus the mental rea- 
son for teaching children a knowledge of 
such laws. 
As a result of not understanding 
them many boys and young men 
became mentally morbid over an imaginary 
sexual trouble. This worry is injurious to 
health, interferes with their studies or busi- 
ness and often leads to real sexual troubles. 
Boys should be free from worry and be cheer- 
ful, happy and full of hope and purpose. 
Imaginary 
Troubles CHAPTER XXIX 
RESULTS OF DECEPTION 
In the past, Anglo-Saxon prudery 
and mock modesty made sex a 
tabooed subject between parents and children, 
teachers and pupils, and the minister and his 
congregation. Few of these leaders of the 
people thought of sexual knowledge as being 
pure, vital or sacred; on the contrary, it was 
regarded as something essentially impure, 
unimportant and sinful. With these convic- 
tions few people felt that it would be wise, 
or that they were under any moral obligation 
to give sex instruction to children, youths 
or matured people. 
So deeply intrenched was this idea 
in the minds of parents that when- 
ever they were asked by their 
child, "How did I get into this world?" 
"Where was I before I was born?" or "Where 
do babies come from?" they evaded the ques- 
tion by ridiculing, shaming, scolding, chastis- 
Sex Subject, 
in Past, 
Tabooed 
Evasions 
and False- 
hoods, 
Why? 
492 Results of Deception 
493 
ing the child, or it was told some kind of false- 
hood such as, "The angels brought you," "a 
big bird brought you," "an old woman brought 
you," "the doctor brought you in his satchel," 
"you were found in a sink hole," "in a brush 
pile," "in a big bird's nest," or "in the cab- 
bage patch." 
When only a small boy, four or 
five years old, the author was 
called from his bed quite early one spring 
morning and informed that the fine mare had 
"found" a colt. With boyish haste, excite- 
ment and enthusiasm he was soon viewing the 
prettiest and finest colt he had ever seen. 
For a very brief time he looked at the playful 
colt, first with admiration, then with wonder. 
Finally, his boyish curiosity asserted itself. 
Very naturally he inquired, "Where did the 
old mare find the colt?" For several days 
he had been given to understand that the 
mare had been placed in the orchard with a 
view to her "finding" a colt. He had put to 
his parents a very direct question. It had to 
be disposed of then and there. 
Three methods were available- 
evasion, a falsehood or the truth. 
It was a psychological moment; a golden 
A Personal 
Experience 
A Psycho= 
logical 
Moment 494 
Personal Help for Parents 
opportunity. But, alas! they did not see it in 
the light of the "new way" of telling the truth. 
There was a perpetual brush pile in one 
quarter of the orchard that received the annual 
trimmings from all the trees. Hens and turkey 
hens found their nests there. The sows found 
their pigs there. The cows found their calfs 
there. The big snakes were found there. The 
servants has seen ghosts there. He was told 
that the mare found her colt in that brush pile, 
and was prepared to believe it. For six 
months no brush pile escaped being searched 
by his eager eyes. 
Years ago, while traveling on a 
fast Canadian Pacific train across 
those "magnificent distances," then so char- 
acteristic of the unsettled Canadian west, in 
conversation with the conductor, the author 
asked, "Did you ever have one of your chil- 
dren to say, 'Papa, how did I get into this 
world?'" "O, yes; I have had that expe- 
rience several times in my family of seven 
children," he replied. "Did you find any em- 
barrassment or difficulty in answering your 
children?" he was asked. "No, that was easily 
done," was his answer. Thinking he might 
have some original and helpful method of 
A Cana- 
dian's 
Experience Results of Deception 
495 
solving this perplexing problem, the author 
asked him to relate how he had told the last 
child. His reply was, "Only a few weeks ago 
my youngest child was sitting in my lap. She 
gave me a searching look and said, 'Papa, 
how did I get into this world?' At the time, 
we were sitting in front of the window. Re- 
calling the condition of the weather at the time 
of her birth an answer was suggested to me. 
My reply was, 'Darling, the day you came to 
our home, papa was standing here at the win- 
dow watching it rain and wishing that God 
might send us a little girl. It was not long 
until he saw you falling from a cloud and ran 
out and caught you and brought you to your 
mamma.' " It was quite evident that this 
conductor felt sure that his method was ideal. 
At the close of a lecture in a 
Southern town on "How to Tell 
the Story of Life to a Child," a mother of 
culture, influence and wealth said to the 
author: "When my boy was five years old he 
asked me about his origin. Remembering 
that he was born about half-past three one 
afternoon, near the time the Cotton Belt train 
passes through our town, I said, 'Why, son, 
God sent you into this town on the Cotton 
Will Get 
This 
Information 496 
Personal Help for Parents 
Belt train one afternoon. Our doctor was at 
the depot and saw you. Knowing that we 
wanted a boy and noticing that you were a fine 
fellow, he persuaded the conductor to give 
you to him. He put you in his satchel and 
brought you to our home.' Now," said the 
mother, "my boy is nine years old and he has 
never referred to that matter since. Do you 
suppose that he has been told the truth by the 
servants or his schoolmates?" She was urged 
to take the boy into her confidence, talk to him 
about these matters and get him to tell her all 
that he had learned, and from whom. She re- 
ported the next day that she found that his 
little mind had been polluted with obscene 
words and stories for three years. 
In the West I engaged a stranger 
in conversation for twenty min- 
utes. During so short a time, and with par- 
donable pride, he said: "I have the finest 
boy in this city. He is fourteen years of age, 
as innocent as a girl, and as pure as an angel." 
After appropriate congratulations I said: 
"I have the very book your boy should read." 
"I have a perfect boy and I like the title of 
your book, but wife and I are very careful 
about what our boy reads. Of what does 
Parents 
Deceive 
Themselves Results of Deception 
497 
your book treat?" he inquired. Then I told 
him that a few chapters dealt with the origin 
of plant, fish, bird and higher animals. He 
interrupted me by exclaiming, "Oh! I would 
not have my boy to know those things." "Do 
you mean to tell me that you have a boy four- 
teen years of age who has received no in- 
formation from any source concerning the 
origin of life, that he has shown no interest 
in knowing these things, and that you have 
succeeded in keeping him out of the asylum 
until now?" To answer my reference to pos- 
sible feeble-mindedness he assured me that his 
boy was very bright in his classes. 
Then I assured him that it was 
hardly possible that he had not 
received some knowledge of such facts from 
ignorant, filthy sources and that it was highly 
probable that he was concealing this from his 
father and mother. He took a copy of the 
book, promising that he and his wife would 
read it and then decide whether or not the 
boy would be accorded the same privilege. 
Weeks later I again passed through the 
same city. I found him a wiser father and 
eager to tell me this interesting story: "Wife 
and I read your book, and we were surprised 
Learns 
Perverted 
Truth 498 
Personal Help for Parents 
to learn that these delicate truths could be 
told in such a clear, charming, wholesome 
manner. We decided that only good could 
come from our boy also reading it. I gave it 
to him with the assurance that his mother and 
I had read it and were anxious for him to 
read and know all the new and interesting 
things the book contained. 
"When he had had time to read it, 
I said: 'Son, did you enjoy read- 
ing the book for boys?' 'Yes, 
father, and I wish that I could have read it 
years ago.' Then I asked: 'Did you already 
know how the baby animals are brought into 
the world?' 'The boys at school talk a great 
deal about such things and they began telling 
me about them the first year I was in school, 
but they do not tell such things in the nice, 
clean way the book does,' was his reply." 
Intelligent, good parents of the 
past loved their children as devot- 
edly as do such parents of the present; and 
were as deeply concerned in safeguarding 
their children as are the parents of today. 
Then why did they scold, ridicule, falsify and 
even punish their children when they inquired 
Boys Con=> 
taminated 
by Ignorant 
Associates 
A False 
Modesty Results of Deception 
499 
about their origin? There were several gen- 
eral reasons for this. 
In regard to the teaching and 
study of sex truths there are 
two kinds of modesty-the true and false, the 
natural and the unnatural. Natural, hence 
true, modesty looks upon all of the facts relat- 
ing to sex as by nature, delicate, pure and 
sacred. Unnatural or false modesty teaches 
that reference to the origin of life is undigni- 
fied and immodest. True modesty permits 
men and women to acquire thorough knowl- 
edge of sex, and under proper social condi- 
tions to teach these truths to others. False 
modesty denies this privilege to decent, 
respectable people and thereby sends inquir- 
ing youths to the vicious and ignorant for 
information which should come from their 
natural teachers. True modesty is God-given, 
God-honored-a safeguard to manhood's 
honor and womanhood's virtue. False 
modesty, the child of false teaching and un- 
natural mental attitude toward sex, is God- 
dishonoring and man-degrading. True 
modesty ought to be cultivated and respected, 
while false modesty should be relegated 
to the ignorant, selfish, prudish past. For 
Natural and 
Unnatural 
Modesty 500 
Personal Help for Parents 
many centuries false modesty permeated all 
society and induced the best of parents to 
believe that it was a sin and crime truthfully 
to answer the questions of children as to their 
birth. 
Until recent years the teaching of 
sex truths was tabooed by educa- 
tors and religious leaders. Under these con- 
ditions there were no authors, lecturers or 
teachers to inform parents how to tell the 
story of life. Even today it is not uncommon 
to hear some prude sneeringly reply, "O, 
nature will tell a mother how to answer her 
child's question." Nature no more teaches 
a mother how to tell life's story than it does 
a Sunday-school teacher how to present the 
truths of the Bible, or school teachers how to 
teach mathematics. Hence, the majority of 
parents have been and still are unprepared 
intelligently and effectively to handle the sex 
problems in their homes. 
Again, we are to remember that 
our parents were trained to think 
and they honestly believed that 
innocence was inseparable from sex ignorance. 
They considered it their moral and religious 
duty to keep their children ignorant of their 
Did Not 
Know How 
Ignorance 
Not Essen= 
tial to 
Innocence Results of Deception 
501 
origin as long as possible. Girls were to be 
kept in ignorance until after marriage. They 
did not believe it possible to tell a ten or 
twelve-year-old child the truth about its 
origin without moral injury. They felt it 
to be a sacred duty to keep their children 
ignorant of these facts. 
Good parents in the past, just as 
today, did not and do not see the 
difference between the influence 
of sex truths properly told to a child and the 
influence of such truths foully told by the 
ignorant and immoral. Naturally when asked 
by a child, "How did I get into this world?" 
they recalled their first experience in getting 
this information and the bad effects that fol- 
lowed. So, to keep from injuring their child, 
some evasive method was resorted to. They 
failed to see that it was not the truth they 
received in childhood which harmed them, 
but the unfortunate environment of half 
truths. 
A simple illustration will help the 
reader more clearly and fully to 
understand the distinction made 
between the influence of truth, and that 
Bad Envi- 
ronment, 
Not Truth, 
Injures 
Illustration 
of Bad 
Environ- 
ment 502 
Personal Help for Parents 
which grows out of its surroundings. Here 
are three nuggets of gold-one is in a slop 
bucket, the second in a tar bucket and the 
third in a flowing stream of water. Suppose 
that with your hand you take these nuggets 
from their places. In the first it is soiled 
and must be washed. It«was not the gold but 
its surroundings that dirtied the hand. In 
the second, you got tar on your hand. It will 
require hot water, soap and turpentine to re- 
move it, and still more may remain to be 
worn off. In the third instance, when you 
lift the gold from the stream, your hand is 
made cleaner by coming in contact with the 
water covering the gold. Yet this nugget 
was no purer in quality than the others, for it 
was the environment that soiled your hand, 
not the gold itself. 
Just so you may see some truth in 
a dime novel that is as pure as 
similar truth in the Bible, but it is found in 
a literary slop bucket. So we may find some 
truth in one of Bob Ingersoll's books, as pure 
as like truth in the Bible, but we should not 
go to such a literary tar bucket for it. In 
either event, time, personal effort and divine 
help will be required to efface the moral ef- 
Good and 
Bad Books Results of Deception 
503 
fects. If one gets truth from the lips of a wise 
teacher, a noble father, pure mother or good 
book, the mind and life will be purer by con- 
tact with these wholesome sources of truth. 
It is not the truth a child receives which does 
harm but the environment of half truths. If 
a five-year-old child could understand in all 
of the details its conception, gestation and 
birth, and this were given by a noble father or 
pure mother, it could do the little one no 
harm. If that statement is not true, God has 
arranged a reproductive scheme the knowl- 
edge of which is sinful and leads to sexual 
sinning, in which event He would be re- 
sponsible for all such sins. 
It is not our purpose to question 
the love or motives of parents in 
the past or present who hold to the policy of 
keeping the child ignorant as a safeguard to 
virtue. If its results were good and only 
good, we should continue it, but if they were 
bad and only bad, the old policy evidently 
ought to be abandoned, and search made for 
a better one. 
Take a concrete example. Here 
is a five or six-year-old boy who 
for some reason becomes interested in his 
Results of 
Old Method 
It Was 
Degrading 504 
Personal Help for Parents 
advent into this world. With confidence in 
the ability and willingness of his parents to 
give him the desired information, in sincerity 
and purity he goes to one or both and asks 
his question. Can you conceive of the sur- 
prise and shock that comes to him when he is 
ridiculed, scorned or ordered to "clear out" 
with a command, "Never again let me hear 
you ask such a naughty, ugly, sinful ques- 
tion?" Could he imagine why he should be 
so treated, or ever feel that his question was 
satisfactorily answered? If he had sinned 
would he be able to see in what way? Was 
he made wiser by the treatment he had re- 
ceived? Did it lead to greater love and re- 
spect for his parents? We shall see. 
On approaching his parents his mental 
attitude toward birth was that of naturalness, 
frankness and purity. Suddenly this is whol- 
ly changed. He is now driven to secrecy, 
morbid curiosity and a false sense of shame, 
which may continue for years, possibly for 
life. By the old policy the parents in nearly 
every case became responsible for the be- 
ginning of this degrading mental career of 
their children. Results of Deception 
505 
It will not be many days after 
such treatment when a servant or 
a playmate will discover the unsatisfied in- 
terest of such a boy and say, "I know some- 
thing you don't know, but you'd like to know 
it. I will tell you all about it, if you promise 
not to tell your papa and mama. It is how 
babies get into this world." I care not how 
obedient the child may be, such is his interest 
in the origin of life that he will agree not to 
tell them. In fact, he would not dare to do 
so. For the first time perhaps he deliberately 
has decided to keep something a secret from 
his parents. He continues secretly to get 
this kind of information and stealthily keeps 
it from his parents. This secrecy clearly will 
have anything but a healthy moral influence 
upon the child. 
He eagerly listens to their story 
of life told in half truths and 
couched in smutty language. While his con- 
science may tell him that there is something 
morally wrong in the way it was told, his 
belief is that there is some truth in the story. 
He felt that his parents evaded his question 
or told a falsehood. He is not capable of 
understanding why they thus dealt with him, 
and to the extent the child comprehends their 
It Leads to 
Secrecy 
Discovers 
Deception 
in Parents 506 
Personal Help for Parents 
falsehood does.he lose confidence in them as 
to all matters pertaining to sex. Naturally, 
wellborn children have perfect confidence in 
their parents. Any loss of this is a sad ca- 
lamity to both. 
From this time on the child can not 
contemplate the beginning of his 
own life and his parents' relation to it in terms 
of sacredness. Early impressions on the mind 
of a child are not easily removed. It always 
is difficult to unlearn what is falsely taught 
us or to disbelieve what once we have be- 
lieved. Five out of six of the words he has 
learned do not refer in their proper meaning 
to the sexual organs and their functions, yet he 
thinks they are true words and for years will 
use them to express his feelings, and thoughts 
in conversation. Ugly words, impure pic- 
tures and smutty stories, in all their vile 
suggestiveness, even if not welcome, will haunt 
him for years because of his having been 
taught a vulgar and false sex vocabulary. 
Thus sexual organs and functions become 
sources of impure thought and occasional jest. 
God never intended that his chil- 
dren should entertain degrading 
and demoralizing views of divinely created 
organs and their sacred functions. It is im- 
Other Bad 
Results 
False 
Training 
Degrading Results of Deception 
507 
possible to estimate the evil influence of this 
false training. Just to the extent that one 
fails to see that God is the author of sex, that 
sex is sacred and pure, his glory and not his 
shame, to that extent has a false training 
degraded him. Yet there are those who esti- 
mate their culture, refinement and piety by the 
degree of conscious shame and condemnation 
they experience when they think or speak of 
any phase of sex. 
Does a child lose confidence in 
his parents when he discovers that 
they have told him a falsehood about his 
origin? The author receives hundreds of 
letters and interviews annually thousands of 
young men in regard to their sex problems. 
Not one in a hundred of them has received 
the truth about his origin in a pure way, or a 
word of warning concerning the secret sin. 
In innocence and confidence they went to 
their parents during childhood and inquired 
about their origin. Treated as described, 
they went then to evil-minded ones for in- 
formation and were led into vice. Today 
there is not one boy in fifty who, while in his 
teens, freely goes to his parents for informa- 
tion necessary for him to know, if he is to 
keep his life pure and chaste; nor one girl 
How 
Confidence 
Is Lost 508 
Personal Help for Parents 
in twenty-five, who in her teens freely goes 
to her mother for knowledge such as her 
developing womanhood requires. Surely this 
is not as it should be, nor is it intended. 
In company with reliable and 
responsible men, such as detec- 
tives, the author has visited the "red light" 
districts of many large cities, looked into the 
faces of thousands of erring girls, ranging 
in age from twelve to twenty-five, a majority 
of whom had fallen before they were sixteen. 
Many of them were asked, "Did your mother 
give you such information about your origin, 
sexual nature and danger in associating with 
young men as a girl should have had?" Not 
one in a thousand could say, "Yes, my moth- 
er told me." 
A prominent physician, a teacher 
in the medical department of one of our 
largest state universities, only a short time 
ago told the author a recent experience of his. 
A mother came to him with her ailing daugh- 
ter of sixteen. The diagnosis disclosed that 
she was a prospective mother. She was per- 
fectly surprised. With little hesitancy she 
admitted relations with a friend, but claimed 
that he told her this was not the way chil- 
dren were brought into the world. She did 
Girls Fall 
Because of 
Ignorance 
An Incident Results of Deception 
509 
not know the name, the nature or the results 
of the act which involved the happiness, 
character and destiny of three souls-hers, 
his and that of their offspring. No tongue 
can tell, rhetoric describe or imagination de- 
pict the sad consequences of this one mother's 
neglect. Whenever a child has grown to 
maturity under this policy of silence and re- 
mained pure it was not because of ignorance, 
but to some other cause. 
In a western town the author was 
asked to give the high-school boys 
a special lecture. After this was done he was 
approached by the lady principal with a re- 
quest from the young ladies of the high 
school for a special lecture adapted to their 
age and sex. The request granted, she added: 
"Several girls said, 'O, we wish he were a 
lady lecturer! There are so many questions 
we would like to ask, but hesitate to discuss 
them with a gentleman.' I said, 'Girls, why 
don't you ask your mamas?' With perfect 
surprise, they replied, 'Why, we would not 
think of asking mother such questions.' " 
This loss of confidence in their mothers began 
when they first asked about their origin. Can 
Another 
Incident 510 
Personal Help for Parents 
a system of moral training be right when it 
produces such results? 
In round numbers two million 
children are annually born into this Christian 
nation. One-fourth of these die before they 
are seven years old. Each year one and one- 
half million ask of their parents, "How did 
I get into this world?" Not one in twenty 
gets a kind, truthful and intelligent answer. 
Nineteen out of twenty are ridiculed or told 
a falsehood, as before has been shown. That 
settles it. The golden chain of confidence 
and influence is broken. Never again will 
these children return to their parents for 
information, advice or counsel on matters of 
sex. Elsewhere, they will find those who 
welcome such questions, even introduce the 
matter and gladly supply them with the in- 
formation desired. These children, a million 
and a half strong, are soon adrift on the storm- 
tossed, passion-seething sea of early adoles- 
cence, without a moral chart or compass. 
They know not their moral longitude and lat- 
itude, but are rapidly drifting towards ports 
unknown to them. The church now becomes 
busy in her work of rescue, yet leaves them 
ignorant of their impulses weaknesses and 
dangers. 
The Harvest Results of Deception 
511 
Time passes. Many of the rescued 
are caught by the tides of passion 
and swept back into deeper depths 
of passion's sea. The boys are now sixteen to 
twenty-five. They have boon and base com- 
panions. Their imaginations are at fever heat 
with morbid curiosity about and interest in 
sensual pleasures; their ambitions aflame with 
lascivious daring. Under such conditions a 
quarter of a million of young men annually 
sacrifice the priceless gem of manhood's vir- 
tue, and, once in the whirlpools of sinful pas- 
sion, eighty per cent, of them become diseased 
and many perish in the awful maelstrom of 
lust. 
With the passing of time the girls 
from twelve to twenty, many with- 
out the safeguard of knowledge, 
are freely and gaily, with boon male com- 
panions, exposed to the temptations and dan- 
gers incident to their social environment on 
the same sea of passion. In its immeasurable 
depths, sixty thousand of these girls annually 
lose the priceless gem of womanhood's virtue. 
Owing to the double standard of morals, a life- 
line of hope is thrown to the morally wrecked 
young men, while nearly all wrecked young 
Quarter 
Million 
Boys 
Sacrificed 
Annually 
Sixty Thou= 
sand Girls 
Sacrificed 
Annually 512 
Personal Help for Parents 
women are left to perish in a hopeless Sodom 
of immorality, without a glance of sympathy 
or word of pity. 
Thousands of poor, prudish par- 
ents line the shores of time who, 
with broken, bleeding hearts, cry in anguish, 
"Where is my wandering child tonight?" The 
poor, ignorant, diseased, passion-ridden chil- 
dren, in many cases beyond the reach of the 
home, society or the church, exclaim, "Oh, if 
I had only been told of these dangers!" All 
along the edge of the rea of human passion the 
churches and philanthropists have built and 
maintained rescue and foundling homes at an 
outlay of millions in money. The Christian 
workers engaged are not saving and can not 
save one in twenty. The foundling homes are 
crowded to a dangerous, unsanitary overflow- 
ing with illegitimate children, whose mothers 
are out in the rapids of vice or entirely lost 
in the depths of immorality. Too long philan- 
thropists have devoted their means to the work 
of rescue, while neglecting the much more 
effective and therefore important work of pre- 
vention. Far too long the churches have 
opened their doors to rescue lecturers and 
closed them to preventative lecturers, as they 
Who Is Re= 
sponsible? Results of Deception 
513 
also seemed satisfied with snatching, here and 
there, a forlorn piece of human wreckage from 
the waves of vice, instead of erecting a light- 
house system of education and warning for the 
children and youths of the land. 
The following series of illustrations sug- 
gested this story to the author: 
"Say, mama, where did the baby 
come from?" "Why, son, the 
doctor brings the babies." "Did the doctor 
bring this baby?" 
"Yes, son, the doc- 
tor brought him in 
a satchel. Now go 
out and play and 
don't ask mama 
any more questions 
about the baby." It 
is natural for a boy 
to obey and believe 
his mother, but to 
this boy his mother's answer only increased 
the mystery of how babies get into the home. 
While he believed his mother, he was not 
quite satisfied with the exolanation. 
One day he finds himself in a 
group of boys on the playground. 
One of them tauntingly remarks, "I'll bet 
A Pure 
Question 
Displays 
Ignorance 514 
Personal Help for Parents 
this 'mammy-boy' 
don't know where 
the babies come 
from." He quickly 
resents the insinua- 
tion with the asser- 
tion, "Yes, I do; 
mamma told me. 
The doctors bring 
them in a satchel." 
Then all of the boys 
have a rousing big laugh at his expense. 
At length, one of the boys offers 
to tell him all about it. While 
the leader is telling the story in half truths 
clothed in the most 
obscene language, 
the other boys are 
nudging each other 
and laughing lusti- 
ly. The story cap- 
tivates the boy. It 
is so much more 
reasonable than the 
answer he received 
from his mother 
that he concludes, 
Gets 
Perverted 
Information Results of Deception 
515 
"This is the truth and what mother told me 
was not." Thus he has lost confidence in his 
mother. He keeps what he has learned a 
secret from her. His mind is polluted. No 
more will he go to his mother with his ques- 
tions, but will go where he is welcomed and 
can get information. 
One day he reads a note handed 
him by a schoolmate that gives 
him more wrong information on sex. A few 
days later, the author 
of the note has a side 
chat with him and 
boasts of his con- 
quests among girls 
of a certain kind. 
His mind is now 
astir with morbid 
curiosity and he is 
restless under the 
consciousness of new 
and strange im- 
pulses. He fre- 
quently meets the 
boys in their cliques on the playground and 
in the toilet. Gradually they introduce him 
to the secret vice. 
Is Taught 
Secret Vice 516 
Personal Help for Parents 
Buys Lewd 
Pictures 
His mother sends him down town 
on an errand. A newsboy calls 
him aside and shows him some very sugges- 
tive pictures of women. Having some money 
of his own, he buys a set, takes them home 
and hides them. Several times a day he takes 
them from their hiding place and revels in 
lustful fancies and 
delight as he looks 
on them while his 
unsuspecting 
mother contem- 
plates the provi- 
dential protection 
of her son and his 
angelic innocence. 
There are at least 
four very obscene 
books being circu- 
lated, bearing no 
name of author or publisher. When one of 
these gets into the hands of boys of the seventh 
and eighth grades, and high school, it is 
worn threadbare. 
So this boy is handed one of these 
four books. Every phase of sex- 
ual perversion found among fast women and 
Reads Ob= 
scene Books Results of Deception 
517 
immoral men in 
the upper crust of 
easy moving society 
is told by the 
author in the most 
obscene and excit- 
ing detail. He reads 
it, then he rereads 
it several times. 
Eternity alone can 
tell the injury that 
was done this boy 
by that book. 
He decides to go to a "show" and 
there he receives more false ideas 
of men, women and 
marriage. The low- 
necked, above-the- 
knee and slit-skirt 
dress, with flesh-col- 
ored and close-fitting 
underwear of the ac- 
tresses and female 
dancers set his morbid 
curiosity wild. Di- 
vorce plots, efforts at 
the overthrow of vir- 
Goes to Cor- 
rupt Show 518 
Personal Help for Parents 
tue and the most suggestive spooning scenes 
fill in the interims between more exciting parts 
of the night's entertainment. 
He is now eighteen. Like most all 
young men who are healthy, he has 
some imaginary and some real sex problems 
he does not understand. He is worried about 
them. He reads 
the advertisements 
of "quack" doc- 
tors, sends off for 
their treatment; 
once in their 
clutches, they 
bleed him of his 
money, time and 
health, and bring 
him no relief. 
Still puzzled and having been told 
repeatedly the "sex necessity" 
falsehood, that one's physical, mental and sex- 
ual health depend upon the exercise of the 
creative function, he decides to do "what most 
men do." For several years he is the leader of 
the "gay" young men, which means social dis- 
sipations, social sins, so-i-- crimes. 
In Clutches 
of Quack 
Doctors 
Takes Fatal 
Step ■Results of Deception 
519 
Time passes. He has been one of 
the boys. He met, wooed and won 
a woman of beauty, truth and virtue. His 
dissipations are things of the past. The wed- 
ding day has come and gone. He takes her to 
his palatial home. The portals swing wide to 
welcome her. She reigns in that home as a 
queen. In twelve 
brief months she 
goes to the bed of 
suffering like . an 
angel, and the cold 
waters bathe her 
feet as she endures 
the throes of par- 
turition. Can there 
be greater suffer- 
ing? We shall see. 
Consciousness is re- 
stored. A look of fondest anticipation beams 
from her eyes and a smile of infinite joy illu- 
mines her pale cheeks and brow when she 
receives her firstborn into her arms. 
Then, a shriek of heart-rending 
agony! She realizes that her babe 
can never run and play as other 
children do. Its features are weazened, its 
Marries 
Pure Girl 
Blind and 
Feeble= 
minded 
Child 
V.l-11 520 
Personal Help for Parents 
body deformed, its mind enfeebled and its eyes 
are blind. For days she lingers at the portals 
of death, not from the pains of parturition, not 
altogether from a vicious infection, but from 
the bitterest disappointment that can come 
to a mother. 
One day the family physician calls 
the young husband and father into 
a side room and says: "Young man, you were 
not cured; your wife may be an invalid for 
life and your baby can never see." 
There is enough pathos in this illustrated 
story, reproduced in real life many times an- 
nually, in every county of every state in this 
great nation of ours, to lead everyone who has 
assumed or may assume the responsibility of 
marriage, parentage and the training of a child 
to become a thorough convert and an active 
advocate of the new methods of dealing with 
these personal and social problems. 
Pathetic 
Disclosure 
THE PRICE HE PAID 
I said I would have my fling, 
And do what a young man may; 
And I didn't believe a thing 
That the parsons have to say. 
I didn't believe in a God 
That gives us blood like fire, 
Then flings us into hell because 
We answer the call of desire. 
Ella Wheeler Wilcox Results of Deception 
521 
And I said: "Religion is rot, 
And the laws of the world are nil; 
For the bad man is he who is caught 
And can not foot his bill. 
And there is no place called hell; 
And heaven is only a truth, 
When a man has his way with a maid 
In the fresh, keen hour of youth. 
"And money can buy us grace, 
If it rings on the plate of the church; 
And money can neatly erase 
Each sign of a sinful smirch." 
For I saw men everywhere, 
Hotfooting the road of vice; 
And women and preachers smiled on them 
As long as they paid the price. 
So I had my joy of life; 
I went the pace of the town; 
And then I took me a wife, 
And started to settle down. 
I had gold enough and to spare 
For all of the simple joys 
That belong with a house and a home 
And a brood of girls and boys. 
I married a girl with health 
And virtue and spotless fame. 
I gave in exchange my wealth 
And a proud old family name. 
And I gave her the love of a heart 
Grown sated and sick of sin! 
My deal with the devil was all cleaned ups 
And the last bill handed in. 522 
Personal Help for Parents 
She was going to bring me a child, 
And when in labor she cried, 
With love and fear I was wild- 
But now I wish she had died. 
For the son she bore me was blind 
And crippled and weak and sore! 
And his mother was left a wreck. 
It was so she settled my score. 
I said I must have my fling, 
And they knew the path I would go; 
Yet no one told me a thing 
Of what I needed to know. 
Folks talk too much of a soul 
From heavenly joys debarred- 
And not enough of the babes unborn, 
Dy the sins of their fathers scarred. 
-From The Cosmopolitan, Copyrighted, A HAPPY HOME 
523 SAFE-GUARDING HER FUTURE 
524 CHAPTER XXX 
PARENTS THE NATURAL TEACHERS 
Children are born with the capac- 
ity to learn how to crawl, stand 
alone, walk, love, hate, talk, read, write and 
to judge of what is right and wrong. All they 
may come to know, however, whether true or 
false, good or evil, they must learn. By bring- 
ing children into the world parents assume the 
responsibility of thinking and deciding for 
them during infancy, and of safeguarding 
their future well-being by properly looking 
after their physical, mental and moral welfare, 
as well as giving to them such training and 
education as their development and future in- 
terests require. 
Coming into the home utterly de- 
void of knowledge, physically and 
mentally helpless, children unconsciously 
come to recognize their na rents as their natural 
teachers and to have absolute confidence in 
them. Ask a boy of three to seven years old 
who he thinks is the wisest and best man in 
Parents 
Responsible 
Naturally 
Go to 
Parents 
525 526 
Personal Help for Parents 
the world, and the prompt reply will be, "my 
papa." Ask a girl of the same age who she 
thinks to be the nicest and best woman in the 
world, and her unstudied reply will be, "my 
mama." The answers may be true or false, 
but you do not doubt the sincerity of the child. 
The greatest calamity that can be- 
fall children comes when by con- 
vincing evidence they are compelled to lose 
faith in the wisdom and goodness of their 
parents. No worse misfortune can come to 
parents than to lose the confidence of their 
children. This natural and complete confi- 
dence in and dependence of children on 
their parents give to parents a very decided 
advantage over all other teachers, good or bad, 
in the early training and education of their 
children. It is because of this natural con- 
fidence that children first go to their parents 
with questions about their origin. If parents 
do not betray them, they will continue to come 
for information concerning all of their sex 
problems. It is these conditions that make 
parents the first and most natural teachers of 
sex knowledge. 
We have seen that the child natur- 
ally has confidence in its parents. 
If they would be ideal teachers, they must hold 
Loss of 
Confidence 
Calamity 
Must Hold 
Child's 
Confidence Parents the Natural Teachers 
527 
its confidence. To do this they must deal 
truthfully with the child. That, however, 
does not always require an immediate or com- 
plete answer. There may be conditions in the 
training of a child when answers to questions 
ought to be delayed or given by degrees. But 
there should be no evasions, no deceptions. If 
parents possess this full confidence and give 
sex and purity instruction tactfully, they may 
feel assured that only good will come to the 
child. 
The first instruction given to a 
child will lead up to the story of 
where little children come from. Usually 
this will be given by the mother. In these 
first talks she should endeavor to accomplish 
several purposes in the child's life. She 
should first lead her child to understand that 
parents are the natural teachers of these 
things and their children should feel free to 
come to them and not go elsewhere for such 
knowledge. She must also lead the child to 
see that this information is not to be talked 
about to other children or to the neighbors. 
When this is wisely done a child is not likely 
to seek additional knowledge from other 
sources. 
The First 
Purpose 528 
Personal Help for Parents 
The Second 
Purpose 
It seems to be natural for a child 
to select some one as a confidant in 
these matters. If parents are the first to give 
this information, and it is wisely done, the 
child will be confidential with them. Chil- 
dren need to be safeguarded from evil im- 
pulses within and bad influences without. If 
free to report to parents what they see and 
hear, a chance is thus given to correct false 
impressions made by unfortunate associations. 
If children are allowed to get 
this information from depraved 
sources, their minds will dwell upon matters 
of sex, often exerting morbid curiosity, sen- 
sual visions, lascivious longings, and sexual 
sinning. So long as a child's mind is kept 
pure his outer life can be kept chaste. When 
a child gets this information from a good 
father and mother, and is led not to talk of it 
with others, nor to listen to talk, the chances 
are that its mind will not unduly dwell upon 
the subject 
While usually it is the mother who 
is expected to give the story of life 
to the inquiring child, this is not necessarily 
so. Either father or mother or both may give 
such information. Children are practically 
The Third 
Purpose 
Aften Ten 
Boy Goes 
to Father Parents the Natural Teachers 
529 
neuter as to gender until they are ten years 
old. But from this time on the boy will look 
upon life from the masculine point of view 
and his father becomes his natural teacher. 
But if the father is careless or dead, the 
mother should see that her boy gets the infor- 
mation and advice which his developing boy- 
hood demands. She can give much of this 
and also secure for him books adapted to his 
age. She can ask the family physician to give 
him a talk, or his teacher, or pastor, if they 
be informed. 
The girl, at the age of ten, begins 
to look upon life from the fem- 
inine point of view and her mother becomes 
her natural teacher. But if the mother be 
careless or dead, the father should see that his 
daughter gets such information and advice as 
her developing girlhood and womanhood de- 
mand. He can give her some advice that 
should come from a father's point of view, 
and secure such books as will be of value 
to her. He often can secure the services of 
a lady doctor or some wise mother in the com- 
munity. The mother should not neglect to be 
free with her son, and the father with his 
daughter. It is a fine thing for a boy to get 
After Ten, 
Girl Goes 
to Mother 530 
Personal Help for Parents 
information and advice from the viewpoint 
of his mother and for the daughter to receive 
information and counsel from the viewpoint 
of her father. 
There is a growing conviction that 
sex hygiene should be taught in all 
of our schools. Many colleges and 
universities and some high schools have intro- 
duced it in a limited way. This instruction 
will be first introduced into the high schools, 
then later into the seventh and eighth grades. 
Definite sex instruction will perhaps never be 
given to students under ten or twelve years of 
age. The schools must leave the first and 
most important part of this delicate work to 
the parents. The teaching of the moral side 
of sex in the public schools at best only can 
supplement the work of the home. For sex 
instruction to be most effective, both the moral 
and the scientific aspects of the subject should 
be presented. The home, if ideal, will be the 
place for ethical instruction and the school 
will best be fitted for presenting the scientific. 
The present great moral awaken- 
ing will doubtless lead a majority 
of parents to assume the duty of instructing 
their children in these delicate truths. One- 
Schools 
Leave Early 
Instruction 
to Home 
Some 
Parents 
Will Fail Parents the Natural Teachers 
531 
fourth of the parents will never do this. Their 
children will receive no instruction in the 
home and will not be encouraged to go to 
church or Sunday school. Since no knowl- 
edge is so necessary to a child's well-being, 
and since these children do not get this infor- 
mation at home and do not go to church, they 
must receive it in the schools. 
This instruction might be given in 
a very effective way in segregated 
Sunday-school classes. Every 
Sunday-school teacher, including the pastor, 
should be thoroughly informed and qualified 
to give this instruction, and welcome parents 
and young people who seek advice and coun- 
sel. The work of the church ought to supple- 
ment the work of the home. 
What 
Sunday 
Schools 
Could Do CHAPTER XXXI 
WHAT SHOULD CHILD BE TAUGHT, AND WHEN? 
Determined 
by Age, Sex, 
Curiosity, 
etc. 
The question forming the heading 
of this chapter refers to personal 
purity and sex knowledge. What, 
and how much, information ought to be given 
to a child at any one time should be deter- 
mined by its age, sex, intelligence, curiosity 
and eagerness. Every child ought to be told 
the truth about its advent into the world. 
This should not be forced on the child, how- 
ever, in advance of its mental development. 
But when a child begins- to show a natural 
interest by voluntarily asking questions, it is 
prepared to receive the information, if given 
in a proper way. 
Some children become interested 
at the age of four or even younger, 
others not until they are six or seven. If a 
child does not inquire of its parents about its 
origin by the time it is seven or eight, it 
would be well for them to ascertain whether 
it has not received this information from un- 
Better 
Early than 
Too Late 
532 What Should Child Be Taught, and When? 
533 
savory sources. If they find it has, they then 
face an unfortunate situation. It would be 
better for them to have told the story of life a 
year too soon than a day too late. But further 
delay will increase only the difficulty and 
danger. The child's mind has been polluted; 
morbid curiosity aroused. He has a per- 
verted vision of sex from being largely mis- 
informed. It is harder to unteach untruths 
than it is to teach the truth. The effects of 
wrong teaching can be overcome only by right 
teaching. This will require more time, care 
and patience now than ever before. 
The most natural and satisfactory 
way of telling the story of life to 
a child is by approaching it gradually. First 
tell how God or nature brings every sprig of 
grass, plant, vegetable and tree into the world. 
Here you may go into every interesting detail 
the child can comprehend. This will save the 
giving of details when you come to the higher 
animals and man. The child's mind compre- 
hends a great deal more than most parents 
think. If the details are clearly brought out 
as to the plants and lower forms of animal 
life, the child's fancy will fill out to his own 
satisfaction the* details in regard to the higher 
The Best 
Way 534 
Personal Help for Parents 
animals and man. In early adolescence, the 
facts may be given in detail. At the close of 
the first story, promise the child that in a few 
weeks or months, when he can understand 
things better, you will tell him how the little 
oysters and fish are brought into the world. 
The amount of time allowed to 
intervene between the first and 
second story must be determined by the age, 
intelligence and curiosity of the child. The 
second story should be introduced by review- 
ing the first one. There are several advan- 
tages in this. The child's mind is refreshed 
with the truths of the first story. If he has 
been tainted by vile stories, there is no better 
way to correct this than by telling him in a 
perfectly natural way how God brings all the 
little plants into this world. There is nothing 
in this to suggest impure thoughts. He carries 
the similarities of reproduction in the plant 
world over into the animal kingdom. The 
review also serves the purpose of a fine intro- 
duction to the second story. When it is com- 
pleted, assure the child that in a short time 
you will tell him about the insects and birds. 
This method should be continued until the 
last story has been told, 
How Often, 
a Story What Should Child Be Taught, and When? 
535 
If these stories are told in the 
spring and summer, the parents 
will be able to show their children real ex- 
amples of mating, embryology, pregnancy, 
germination and birth. Every part of 
nature's plan of perpetuating plant and animal 
life in this way can be made interesting and 
instructive to children. There is no place in 
which a child can live where it is not possible 
for parents or guardians to find a few flowers 
and to plant a few varieties of garden seeds, 
even if it be in a can of dirt. In this way the 
stories of how little plants come into the world 
may not only be told but the many interesting 
processes of germination and growth can be 
witnessed by the child. Thus these processes 
and truths become natural, real and sacred to 
the child. 
When children are quite small 
they become interested in knowing 
why one is a boy and another is a 
girl-what makes the difference between 
them. To the prudish, and nearly all parents 
are more or less prudish, this question pre- 
sents an embarrassing and difficult problem. 
The usual answer given by mothers, "Girls 
wear dresses and boys wear trousers," never 
The Best 
Time 
Difference 
Between 
Boy and 
Girl 536 
Personal Help for Parents 
quite satisfies nor has the most wholesome in- 
fluence upon the mind of the child. After 
hearing my viewrs on this subject a young 
woman wrote me the following note: "I can 
never quite forgive my mother for having 
given me the answer, 'Girls wear dresses and 
boys wear trousers,' to my question, 'What 
makes the difference between a boy and a 
girl?' 
"When I was a schoolgirl four- 
teen years old, one day on the play- 
ground the question of certain social, intel- 
lectual and temperamental differences be- 
tween boys and girls came up for discussion. 
With an air of triumph I affirmed that I knew 
the difference between boys and girls and that 
my mother had told me the difference. Then 
I was urged by those older than myself to 
tell them the difference. I gave them 
mother's explanation. To them it was a big 
joke. More than one boy taunted me with 
smutty remarks. My answer was embarrass- 
ing to many of the girls, which made it em- 
barrassing to me. I soon learned from some 
of the girls that the real difference was a 
physiological one. Then my mistake embar- 
rassed me more than at first. As the months 
A 
Humiliating 
Experience What Should Child Be Taught, and When? 
537 
went by some girl or boy would occasionally 
refer in a suggestive or sarcastic way to the 
incident. Six years have passed by and I 
have never quite recovered from the effects of 
that innocent mistake. When I meet with one 
of those boys or girls, now matured young 
people, I am sorely reminded of that school- 
girl blunder." 
I would suggest that where there 
are small boys and girls in the 
home, under six or seven years of age, if their 
minds have not been polluted by vile stories, 
they should be permitted by the mother, under 
her watchful care, to bathe together. Under 
this condition some one of them will notice 
a difference in their bodies and naturally 
make inquiry about it. This will give the 
mother an opportunity to explain to them the 
difference and why there should be this differ- 
ence between them. Or, when the mother is 
dressing or bathing the baby, the older chil- 
dren may be about. She should not try to 
keep the children from seeing the nude form 
of the baby nor show any signs of embarrass- 
ment, but gracefully allow them the utmost 
freedom to view and admire every part of its 
body. This will likely lead one of the older 
How to 
Solve the 
Problem 538 
Personal Help for Parents 
children to inquire about the sexual organs 
of the baby, or why it should be called a boy 
or a girl. The mother can now call their at- 
tention to the organs that are alike in form and 
function in boys and girls. Then direct their 
minds to the fact that the sexual organs are 
the only ones which differ in any marked way 
between boys and girls, and that it is this dif- 
ference which makes one a boy and the other 
a girl. 
It should be explained that the 
organs of sex in a boy cause him 
to grow up to be a man, and later to marry and 
become a father, while the organs of sex in a 
girl cause her to growT up to be a woman, and 
later to marry and become a mother. They 
should be told that these organs are very deli- 
cate and tender and should never be played 
with, and that one should never have bad 
thoughts about them. Give them the true 
names of these organs and impress upon their 
minds that these organs are pure, important 
and sacred, and that good boys and girls, as 
they grow older, never expose them to each 
other or talk to each other about them. Tell 
them that their father and mother are their 
natural teachers in all of these things and so 
Mother 
Explains What Should Child Be Taught, and When? 
539 
when they want to know more about these 
organs or when there is something wrong 
with them, they should feel free to come to 
you for advice and information. In this way 
you will retain your child's confidence and 
save it from years of morbid curiosity and sex 
injury. 
In the spring anv. summer, chil- 
dren often witness the mating of 
the fly. This is so common that even the vicious 
do not give it any special attention. Impure 
thoughts are rarely suggested by it. Thought- 
ful men and women are never embarrassed in 
witnessing it. The housefly furnishes an ex- 
cellent object lesson which can be used by 
parents in a fuller explanation of sexual mat- 
ing. Parents can pass easily from the mating 
of flies to the mating of birds, and of the 
domestic fowls. The best method of doing 
this will be explained more fully in another 
chapter. 
It is far wiser for the father to in- 
vite his eight- to ten-year-old son 
to take a stroll with him with a 
view to their witnessing the mating and birth 
of the domestic animals than for the boy later 
to form the habit of sneakingly seeking such 
Object 
Lessons of 
Mating 
Witnessing 
Other 
Object 
Lessons 540 
Personal Help for Parents 
sights. The first is natural and perfectly justi- 
fiable, the last unnatural and hazardous. The 
former gives the father a chance to explain 
reproduction and birth and to advise the son 
of what is modest, discreet and manly in view- 
ing and speaking of such scenes. For a boy 
to sneak to such sights is positively degrading. 
When possible or convenient there is no sane 
reason why a mother should not avail herself 
of the same opportunity to give her daughter 
the same natural information and advice. 
When the parents have told the 
stories of life in a frank, chaste 
and scientific way, their children ten and 
twelve years old will look upon sex in a per- 
fectly natural way. They also can be ap- 
proached by their parents, and will feel free 
to come to them for information and advice. 
This natural and companionable relation 
between parents and children is certainly an 
improvement on the old method, which caused 
morbid curiosity in them, precocious passion, 
perverted sex vision, with bad habits, loss of 
confidence in and fear to approach parents for 
advice and information. 
As time passes, the mother who 
has given her daughter the stories 
of life will find it easy and pleasant to give 
Advantages 
of the 
New Way 
Makes 
Future 
Talks Easy What Should Child Be Taught, and When? 
541 
her daughter information and advice concern- 
ing puberty, the secret vice, the choice of girl 
chums, her association with boys, the deeper 
significance of sex, her association with young 
men, the habits of many of them, venereal 
diseases, the choice of a companion and the 
miracle of motherhood. 
In like manner as the years go by, 
the father will find it easy for him 
to give his son information and advice con- 
cerning the secret vice, the choice of boy 
chums, his social relations with small girls, 
puberty, the function of his sexual organs, ex- 
periences common to young men, the danger 
of quack doctors and their pamphlets, prosti- 
tution, venereal diseases, his social relations 
with young women, the choice of a companion 
and the sacredness of fatherhood, 
Makes Talks 
Easy tor 
Father CHAPTER XXXII 
HOW SHOULD CHILD BE TAUGHT? 
Qualifica= 
tions 
Needed 
The notion that nature will show 
parents and teachers how to teach 
sex truths to children and young people is 
about as silly as the old idea that "if God 
calls you to preach, he will tell you what to 
say." We all have heard samples of that kind 
of preaching, but were never made wiser or 
better by it. There are few adults who are 
prepared to tell the story of life to a child and 
fewer still who are able to give additional 
instruction as the child grows older. Three 
indispensable qualifications are needed by 
teachers, parents, and lecturers to make their 
advice and instruction wholesome and effi- 
cient. 
They should be morally qualified 
and also regard the organs of sex 
and their functions as pure and sacred. If 
accustomed to thinking of them in a light, 
lascivious way and talking about them in the 
language of the street, it would be a danger- 
A Moral 
Qualifica= 
tion 
542 How Should Child Be Taught? 
543 
ous experiment to attempt to tell their chil- 
dren about their birth or warn them against 
sexual vices. 
One smutty story, told by a father and over- 
heard by his son, may destroy the good influ- 
ence of all the talks on personal purity which 
he can give to him in a lifetime. The same is 
true of a mother's influence on her daughter 
and a teacher's influence with a pupil. 
Parents and teachers should be 
mentally qualified. Half of the 
names used by mature people when referring 
to the organs of sex, their functions and abuse, 
in their true meaning do not even remotely 
refer to these organs, their use or abuse. 
Many of the words used can not be found in the 
dictionary. They do not belong to the Eng- 
lish or any other language. This shows the 
mental fitness that perhaps a majority of 
matured people have for this important work. 
They picked up these words in childhood 
from the ignorant class whose minds were 
filled with debasing thoughts of sex. Their 
use in the presence of a boy familiar with 
them on the playground suggests impure 
thoughts to him. Those who would teach 
truths to the young or old, to the individual, 
A Mental 
Qualifica= 
tion 544 
Personal Help for Parents 
to classes or to the masses should be able to 
command chaste, plain and scientific terms. 
Indeed, it is difficult to say which needs cor- 
rect sex instruction most, the young or the old. 
Recently a cultured lawyer invited 
the author over to his office for a 
friendly chat. He reproduced in gesture and 
language, as best he could, a talk he had given 
his twelve-year-old boy, warning him of the 
dangers of the secret vice. It was evident 
that he loved his boy and was deeply inter- 
ested in his welfare. The words he used were 
the same he had learned when a schoolboy 
and as his boy evidently had heard on the 
playground. It is a question as to whether he 
did his boy any good. A good talk was spoiled 
by the unfortunate use of language. 
They should possess skill, which 
requires time, reading, thought 
and experience to develop. The effect, good 
or bad, produced on an individual or an audi- 
ence will be determined in no small measure 
by the methods of approaching the subject 
and in dealing with it. One's motives may be 
unselfish and sincere, but if he goes at the sub- 
ject bluntly, awkwardly, severely, suggest- 
ively, he will accomplish little or no good. 
Lawyer 
Spoiled 
Good Talk 
Skill 
Needed How Should Child Be Taught? 
545 
How Super* 
intendent 
Failed 
In a western town of twenty thou- 
sand, where the moral conditions 
in the high school were deplorable, the super- 
intendent decided that he would give a talk 
on personal purity. He called into the chapel 
several hundred boys and young men. This 
was a new experience to him and he ap- 
proached the subject abruptly. The boys, ac- 
customed to treating every reference to sex as 
a Joke, anticipating what was coming, began 
to nudge and wink at each other. The atti- 
tude assumed by them embarrassed the 
teacher and caused him to lose self-control. 
He soon had to resort to the use of question- 
able terms to make himself understood. He 
utterly failed to accomplish what he desired 
and what the boys needed. The experiment 
came near costing him his position. Eighteen 
lectures from the author, two weeks later, won 
the town back to the superintendent. The 
citizens saw that what the superintendent de- 
sired to do was just what the boys needed and 
the town needed. He lacked skill. 
A few editors, doctors, teachers, 
ministers and authors have been 
rather severe on parents for not teaching their 
children these truths. No doubt some censure 
Course of 
Lectures 
Needed 546 
Personal Help for Parents 
is due. But they should remember that only 
a few years ago a very limited number of 
parents had ever heard an address from a 
wise teacher, a minister or had read a book 
that would give them any idea of how to give 
this instruction. This condition exists largely 
still. The leaders above referred to owe it 
to every community to provide a course of 
practical lectures for the masses annually, and 
to see that every home has a chance to secure 
suitable books on personal purity. 
In giving this instruction there 
are general principles which 
should be observed. The language and 
thought must be adapted to the age, sex and 
intelligence of the individual or the audience, 
in order to get the best results. 
In the home it is more natural for the father 
to impart this knowledge to his son and the 
mother to her daughter. These should be 
strictly private, confidential, friendly talks- 
just two in these confidences, papa and son, 
or mama and daughter. No other member of 
the family need know about it. 
In community work, a talk should 
be given to boys from ten to four- 
teen years old. The number to an audience 
Some 
General 
Advice 
Lectures to 
Segregated 
Audiences How Should Child Be Taught? 
547 
ought to be small. This is a difficult age to 
handle. Only an expert can do it. Series of 
lectures should be given to men. Since man- 
hood has dawned by the time a boy is fifteen 
and he then is exposed to every danger which 
threatens a matured man, there is no reason 
why boys of that age should not hear the 
lectures to men, unless the series includes one 
of advice to married men. A lecture also 
should be given to girls from ten to fourteen, 
and a series of lectures to matured women, 
including girls from fifteen up. There are 
some truths pertaining to our social relations 
that can be presented safely to mixed audi- 
ences. But if a community is to receive safe, 
practical, definite, scientific and ethical in- 
struction, it must in the main be given to seg- 
regated audiences. 
Such instruction should be presented in a 
dignified, manly, sober and reverent manner, 
and in the way that any other vital truth 
would be presented. CHAPTER XXXIII 
FIRST STORY OF LIFE-BABY PLANTS 
Mama Com= 
pliments 
Child 
Son (or daughter, or the child s 
given name), mama (or papa) is 
glad to know that you are now old and smart 
enough to become interested in knowing 
where you were before you were born and 
how you got into this world. Papa and I 
have been expecting you to become interested 
in this subject and we have talked together 
over what you ought to know and the best way 
of telling you. We are especially pleased be- 
cause you came first to us with your questions. 
Papa and mama love you as no one else does, 
and we are more interested in you than anyone 
else can be. We are your natural teachers in 
such delicate, private and sacred things as you 
have asked about. God has planned for chil- 
dren to come to their parents when they want 
to know how He sends the little ones into the 
home. 
When you came to us you were 
tiny and helpless. You could not 
crawl, stand alone or walk. When you were 
Know 
Nothing 
at Birth 
548 ILLUSTRATING HOW LIFE BEGINS IN PLANTS 
549 TELLING HIM THE STORY OF LIFE 
550 Baby Plants 
551 
born you did not know anything. When you 
learned how to crawl, papa and mama 
thought you were very smart. Yet you did 
not know enough to keep from crawling into 
the fire, a pool of water, or over a cliff, to keep 
from swallowing pins, eating glass or poison. 
At first we had to do all of your thinking for 
you. But even then your mind was growing 
and every day you were learning something 
new. All you know you learned since you 
were born. This world is full of things to be 
learned, yet in a whole lifetime one can not 
learn all that is possible to be known. Still, 
there are a great many things we should learn 
as we grow from childhood to manhood and 
womanhood. 
You know some things today 
that you did not know last 
year, and some things that you know 
now you could not have understood a 
year ago, for the reason that you were 
not old enough. In this world of mysteries, 
there are many things that you would like to 
know, but your mind is not ready for them. 
What a pleasure it is to know that as you grow 
older, you will be able to study and under- 
stand many of them. You would like to know 
Learn 
Something 
Each Day Personal Help for Parents 
552 
all there is in the fourth reader. There is 
nothing in that book which could do you a 
bit of .harm, but there are some things in it 
that you can not understand. This is because 
the book was not written for children of your 
age, but for those several years older. You 
know you must first learn what is in the first 
reader. When you have learned to read and 
understand that, you will be ready for the 
second reader, which prepares you for the 
third, and that for the fourth. 
Just so, you would like to know 
how God brings little children into 
the home. It is His beautiful and wonderful 
plan. If you could understand it, that would 
not harm you. But there are some mysteries 
about how children come into the world which 
you are not old enough to understand. 
At this time, mama will tell you 
a beautiful story that you can un- 
derstand and enjoy. It is how God brings all 
cf the little baby sprigs of grass, plants, vege- 
tables and trees into the world. Then, in a 
few months, she will tell you how God brings 
baby oysters and fish into the world, and 
every few months she will tell you a new story, 
until you have been told how the baby insects? 
Things 
Child Can 
Not Know 
Beautiful 
Stories Baby Plants 
553 
frogs, birds and animals come into the world, 
and finally, her last story-how little babies 
come into the home. When you are eight 
years old you will be ready for this story. 
You are old enough to know that 
there are many things that it is 
right and necessary to do six days 
out of the week, but it would be wrong 
for us to do on Sunday. Then you know that 
there are a few things we do, which, though 
proper and right under certain conditions and 
at certain times, it would be very wrong to 
do under other conditions. For example: 
Every few days you take an all-over bath. It 
is right and proper for you to do this and 
for mama to help you. All people who de- 
sire to have clean and healthy bodies take fre- 
quent baths. But you have noticed that of 
late, when you take your baths, the neighbors 
are not present. Large boys and girls, men 
and women, do not bathe together. This is 
because our bodies are sacred and should not 
be seen by everyone when naked. That is 
why we wear clothing. 
We do not speak the names of God 
and Jesus in a light and frivolous 
way, because these names are sacred. Of all 
Right One 
Time 
Wrong 
Another 
Sacredness 
of 
Childbirth 554 
Personal Help for Parents 
the delicate, pure and sacred experiences of 
life, the purest, most delicate and sacred is 
how little children are brought into the home. 
This is so sacred and delicate a subject that 
good people seldom speak of it, and never in 
a light or frivolous way. That is why you 
never have heard your papa and mama talk 
about it; yet it is not wrong for husbands and 
wives, fathers and mothers to speak to each 
other of this experience. There is no harm in 
grown unmarried people speaking of the mat- 
ter when there is some good reason for doing 
so. But it is not wise or best for little chil- 
dren to talk to each other about how babies 
come into the world. When they become in- 
terested about that they should go to their 
parents, just as you have come to me. We 
want you always to feel free to come to us with 
questions about things of that kind. When 
you are older, you will better understand why 
mama gives you this advice. 
Some men and women, boys and 
girls, have not been trained to be 
good. They get angry, quarrel and fight, use 
bad language, break the Sabbath and do other 
wrong things. Some appear to enjoy doing 
wrong and in leading others to do so. These 
Not Sacred 
to Some Baby Plants 
555 
people do not look upon God's plan of bring- 
ing children into the world as pure and sacred. 
They use bad language when talking about 
the story of life and trying to tell it to others. 
When little children hear such children and 
grown people talk about these things, their 
minds are filled with bad words and ugly 
thoughts. In this way many small boys and 
girls are started wrong and are sure to find 
it hard to get rid of impure thoughts, words 
and habits in later life. 
It may not be long before some 
schoolmate, or someone older than 
yourself, will say to you, "I know something 
that you don't. You would like to know it, 
too. I will tell you, if you don't tell your 
papa or mama. It is how you get into this 
world." When anyone offers to tell you 
something that you are not to tell your papa 
or mama, you may be sure that it is wrong, 
will injure you, and most likely is false. 
Mama would advise you to say to them, "I 
don't care to know anything that I can't tell 
papa and mama." 
The story of life that mama 
will tell you at this time is about 
the plants, flowers and trees, and how their 
Mama's 
Advice 
The Story 
of Baby 
Plants 556 
Personal Help for Parents 
young come into this world. I have gathered 
some beautiful flowers to help to make the 
story plain to you. This will be our first les- 
son in what is called Botany. When you grow 
older you will study Botany in school. Then 
you will learn that every part of a plant has 
a special name. Baby Plants 
557 
The story of life, in all flowering 
plants, begins in the flower. We will now ex- 
amine this flower. At sight, we notice that 
the parts of a flower are arranged in whorls 
or circles. The outer circle of the flower is 
called the (1) calyx. You will also notice 
that in some of these flowers the calyx is 
highly colored, in others it looks like small 
green leaves. But in some flowers the calyx 
is entirely absent, while in others it is com- 
posed of four or more parts. These separate 
parts are called (2) sepals, which in other 
flowers have grown together in a circle and 
appear to be only one. In such flowers we 
count the sepals by the number of notches or 
curves on the top edge of the calyx. 
The second whorl is called the 
(3) corolla, which is usually the most highly 
colored part of the flower. If either of the 
whorls of the flower is absent it is the calyx. 
The separate parts of the corolla are called 
(4) petals. Sometimes the petals are sepa- 
rated to the base of the flower. In other 
flowers they are more or less united. 
While the calyx and the corolla 
form the most attractive and beau- 
tiful parts of the flower, they are by no means 
The Calyx 
The Corolla 
Stamens, 
or Papa 
Parts 558 
Personal Help for Parents 
so important as the parts we next will study. 
Let us look carefully at these central organs. 
They are called the essential organs. Were 
it not for these, no new grasses, plants, vege- 
tables or trees would come into the world, 
and in that event it would be robbed of much 
of its beauty and wealth. In this flower the 
next circle consists of a number of small, 
slender organs. They are called (5) stamens. 
On top of these are delicate bodies, poised so 
that the merest breeze will shake them. 
They are filled with a very fine, powdery 
substance called pollen. These bodies pro- 
ducing the pollen are called (6) anthers. 
You can rub the pollen off with your fingers 
and it varies in color in different flowers. 
You can not remember all these names 
now, so I will give you another name that 
you can remember and it means the same 
thing as the word stamen. I guess it was 
the second word that fell from your baby lips 
which mama understood. It was the word 
papa. These are the male organs of the 
flower or the papa parts of it and the father 
nature of the flower. 
The central organ in this flower 
is called the pistil, which is 
formed of three parts. At the base of the 
Pistil, or 
Mama 
Part Baby Plants 
559 
pistil is the (7) pod, more correctly called 
the ovary. In the ovary little seeds are 
formed. On top of the pod or ovary is 
usually to be found a slender stem called the 
(8) style. On top of this is a delicate spongy 
enlargement called the (9) stigma. The 
stigma, style and ovary form the pistil. In 
some plants the flower has a number of 
pistils. 
But we will not try to remember all of 
these names now. Mama will give you an- 
other name that you can remember. It was 
the first word that ever fell from your baby 
lips, the word mama. Well, the pistil, com- 
posed of the stigma, style and ovary, is the 
mama part of the flower and has the mother 
nature of the flower. 
When the pollen is ripe, the 
anther cells of the papa parts of 
the flower burst open and the tiny, 
light, powdery pollen falls out and is carried 
by gravity, wind or insects to the stigma of 
the mother part of the flower. The little 
pores of the stigma open, admitting the 
grains of pollen, which the little currents of 
water in the style carry to the seed in the 
ovary. When the pollen, possessing the 
Papa and 
Mama 
Natures 
Unite 560 
Personal Help for Parents 
father nature, unites with the tiny germs in 
the ovary, possessing the mother nature, the 
little germs or seed are said to be fertilized. 
That means that both the papa and mama 
natures have united and that there is life in 
the seed. When this occurs the seed is very 
tiny. If the two natures had not united, the 
little germs in the mother part of the flower 
could never have developed into seed. But 
now the seeds grow and ripen in the pod. 
While this is being done, food is being 
stored up in the seed for the little baby plants 
to live on for the first few days after they 
come into the world. In such seed, there are 
the tiny beginnings of future plants. 
When the seeds are ripe, the pod 
bursts open and seeds fall upon 
the ground, or men gather and plant them in 
the soil. In the springtime, the sunshine and 
rain cause the life in the seeds to become 
active and soon they sprout and the little 
stems appear above the ground. They then 
are nothing but little baby sprigs of grass, 
little baby plants or little baby trees. 
When God created the first 
grasses, plants and trees, he com- 
manded them to "be fruitful and multiply." 
Sprouting 
of Seed 
*'Be Fruitful 
and 
Multiply" Baby Plants 
561 
By this command He meant that they should 
bring little baby plants into the world so as 
to keep it beautiful and to furnish all of the 
animals and man with plenty of food. In 
this story you have learned how all the 
grown-up plants and trees obey this divine 
command. 
In the flowers we have studied, we 
have found both the male and 
female organs, or as we have called them, the 
father and mother natures. But this is not 
true of all the plants and trees. In some of 
them, flowers are found having only the sta- 
mens, or father organs. These would be 
called father-flowers. They could not pro- 
duce seed or fruit. On other plants and 
trees of the same kind can be found flowers 
having only pistils. These are mother- 
flowers. Father-flowers and mother-flowers 
may be seen growing on the same limb of a 
plant or tree, as in the Indian corn and the 
mulberry tree. Among such trees as the pop- 
lar, willow and sometimes the persimmon 
tree, one tree will bear only father-flowers 
and another tree will bear only mother- 
flowers. 
Mother and 
Father 
Flowers 562 
Personal Help for Parents 
Indian 
Corn 
In the Indian corn, the ear, in- 
cluding the cob, grains of corn, 
silks and shuck, form the mother part of the 
cornstalk. The tassel is the father part and 
contains the father nature, and it forms mil- 
lions of grains of pollen. On passing through 
a patch of corn, you have noticed the pollen 
falling on every object. There are often as 
many as one thousand grains of corn on one 
ear. Each grain sends out from one to three 
little silks beyond the shuck to catch little 
grains of pollen. Should one little corn germ 
on the cob fail to receive a grain of pollen it 
would never develop. If there were no 
grains of corn formed, there would be no 
corn to plant and in a few years no corn in 
the world. Here we see that every little 
baby stalk of corn must have a father and a 
mother. 
There are three ways by which 
nature carries the pollen to the 
mother part of the flower-wind, gravity and 
insects. In the corn we found that the ears 
are below the tassel. Gravity and wind are 
the agencies that nature used in bringing the 
two natures of corn together. Where the 
father organs are short and way down in the 
Gravity, 
Wind and 
Insects Baby Plants 
563 
bloom, such flowers form a sweet juice at the 
base of the bloom. This attracts the bees 
and other insects. As they squeeze their way 
into the neck of the flower and then back 
out, they rub off grains of pollen onto their 
legs, backs and wings. They carry this 
pollen to the next flower of the same kind 
and on entering the neck of that flower they 
rub off some of the pollen onto the stigma of 
the mother part of the flower. In this way 
the seeds are fertilized. God arranged for 
these flowers to form the sweet juice so as 
to attract insects that in this way their seed 
might be fertilized. 
In this story of the plants in a 
general way you have learned 
God's plan of bringing into being all of the 
little grasses, weeds, plants, vegetables and 
trees. You also have learned two great laws. 
The first law is that every plant and tree 
which comes from seed must have a father 
and mother. We further have learned that 
the father and mother natures must unite 
with each other before a baby plant can come 
into the world. This is the second law. 
When we come to study God's plan in bring- 
ing baby oysters, fish, insects, birds, animals 
The Two 
Great 
Laws 564 
Personal Help for Parents 
and human babies into the world, we will 
find that He uses the same laws. 
When we look upon a bed of 
beautiful flowers, pin one on a 
dress, gather a bouquet to place in a vase in 
a room, or to be used in forming a wreath 
of flowers to be placed on the coffin contain- 
ing the lifeless body of a friend, in all of 
their beauty, fragrance and freshness, these 
two laws are at work in an effort to bring 
another generation of plants into the world. 
God is the author of the male and female 
organs of the plants, and for this reason the 
union of their two natures is sacred. Plants 
were the first living beings that God made, 
and man the last living being whom He 
made. Plants were at the bottom of God's 
creative work and man at the top. If the 
laws enabling plants to bring their young 
into the world are the same that enable 
human fathers and mothers to bring their 
babies into the world, and are pure in the 
plants, they certainly should be considered 
pure and sacred in the human family. The 
latter, indeed, being so much higher in the 
scale of life than plants, we ought to regard 
these laws as much more sacred to ourselves 
Laws 
Pure and 
Sacred Baby Plants 
565 
than to them. Thus you can see how very 
sinful it is to speak lightly of how babies 
come into the world. 
In mama's next talk she will tell you a 
story of how the little oysters and fish are 
brought into existence. CHAPTER XXXIV 
SECOND STORY-BABY OYSTERS AND FISH 
In this talk we will find out many 
interesting things about God's 
plan of bringing little oysters and fish into 
the world. However, before we take up this 
new story, we must refresh our minds with 
some things learned in our first story. We 
can then appreciate the resemblances and 
differences between the coming into the 
world of little plants, oysters and fish. 
In studying the story of life 
among the plants, we found in 
most of the flowers male organs and female 
organs; that the male organs produced a fer- 
tilizing powdery substance called pollen and 
the female organs produced seed; that every 
baby plant must have a father and mother, 
and two natures must unite to produce it. We 
also learned that some plants have flowers 
bearing only father parts, while other plants 
or trees of the same kind would have flowers 
Oyster 
and Fish 
Life 
Review 
of the 
Plants 
566 Reproduction in the Fishes' 
-*• ............ 
567 Personal Help for Parents 
568 
having only mother parts, and that God uses 
the wind, gravity and insects in bringing the 
two natures together. 
Among the lower forms ot ani- 
mal life, as in the case of the oyster, 
the male and female natures are in 
the same animal. Oysters are very soft, 
shapeless animals living in large, strong, 
heavy shells. Their soft bodies are attached 
to the inner walls of the shells by strong, 
gristly muscles. They live in great masses 
and their shells are cemented to each other. 
From this arrangement you see that they are 
not able to move about or mix and mingle 
with each other. 
The mother parts of the oyster 
form little eggs which are fer- 
tilized by a liquid substance formed by or- 
gans containing the father nature. The fer- 
tilized eggs, when expelled from the shell, 
float off and become attached to some oyster 
shell or rock. Later they hatch and the baby 
oysters form about their bodies hard shells 
that are made larger as the oysters grow. In 
this way the little oysters come into the 
world. 
The Oyster 
How Baby 
Oysters 
Come BEDTIME STORIES 
569 570 
Personal Help for Parents 
In oysters and plants we find that 
their young must have a father 
and mother, and that the father and mother 
natures must unite. The ovaries of the plant 
produce seed; in the oyster they produce 
eggs. The male organs of the plant produce 
a powdery substance; the male organs of the 
fish produce a fertilizing liquid substance. 
The seeds of plants are fertilized while in 
the ovary; the eggs of oysters are fertilized 
after they leave the ovary. The seeds of 
plants are planted in the soil and the baby 
plants grow up from the ground; the eggs of 
oysters are laid and hatch in the water. 
When God made the fish, insects, 
lizards, snakes, birds and higher 
animals, He gave to one a papa or male 
nature, with suitable sexual organs; to an- 
other of the same kind a mama or female 
nature, with suitable female or sexual organs. 
The sexual organs of all of the female ani- 
mals produce eggs and the sexual organs of 
the male produce a fertilizing fluid called 
semen. 
A number of fish in a group are 
called a "school." In the spring 
reason of the year "schools" of some varieties 
Oysters 
and Plants 
Compared 
Animals 
with Single 
Sex Nature 
Why Fish 
Spoon Baby Oysters and Fish 
571 
of fish gather in deep water for the purpose 
of swimming against and over and around 
each other. Other varieties will swim at this 
season to the shallow riffles; with tails and 
fins they make hollow places in the sand and 
in these hollow places they swim over, under, 
around and against each other so fast that 
they remind one of popcorn popping in a 
popper. They are spooning. Fish spoon to 
excite their sexual natures. This helps the 
female to form her eggs and the male to 
form the fertilizing fluid. 
In the early spring thousands of 
tiny eggs are formed in the ovaries 
of the mother fish. When these eggs are 
ready to be laid, great "schools" of mother 
fish of some varieties leave the deep water of 
a stream, river or sea for some shallow place 
where it suits them to lay their eggs. The 
mother fish lay their eggs in a thin substance, 
like the white of an egg, which spreads out 
in a very thin film, holding the little eggs, 
one in a place, and very close together. The 
father fish swim along, sometimes several 
feet or yards behind the mother fish, and 
drop from their bodies a fluid, called milt, 
containing many thousand sperm cells that 
How 
Baby Fish 
Come 572 
Personal Help for Parents 
unite with the eggs of the mother fish. In 
this way the father nature unites with the 
mother nature to produce every little fish 
that swims in ponds, streams, rivers, lakes or 
seas. 
Certain varieties of fish, however, go to the 
deep water to lay and fertilize their eggs. A 
few varieties seem to pair off, a male and a 
female; the female with her fins and tail 
whips out a kind of nest in the sand and lays 
her eggs in it and the male fertilizes them. 
The mother fish then leaves and the father 
fish lingers around for a day or two to ward 
off other fish that might disturb the eggs. 
Female fish form thousands of 
eggs in their bodies every year 
and codfish have been known to lay as many 
as six to eight million eggs a year. Were 
you to spend ten hours a day for a long life- 
time counting just as fast as you could, you 
could not count one-fourth as many eggs as 
the female codfish lays in one season. You 
wonder why they lay so many. I will tell 
you. Not one egg in twenty ever hatches 
and not one little fish in twenty ever lives 
long enough to grow the length of your 
finger. They have little or no protection, 
Fish Lay 
Many 
Eggs Baby Oysters and Fish 
573 
ana many enemies. There are hogs, turtles, 
crocodiles and alligators; the ducks, geese 
and other water fowls, and most of the fish 
feed upon fish eggs and small fish. That the 
streams, rivers and seas may be kept with an 
abundance of fish, God has wisely planned 
for the mother fish to lay vast numbers of 
eggs. 
Nearly all kinds of fish leave 
their eggs as soon as they are laid 
and fertilized and never see or know their 
young. We noticed that there are a few 
varieties of game fish where the male lingers 
a day or so to protect the eggs. But as soon 
as the eggs begin to hatch, he leaves. In this 
way all baby fish grow up orphans. They 
never know or enjoy the presence of their 
parents. Should some parent fish chance to 
meet their young, they likely would eat them. 
The parent fish do not labor to support and 
protect their young and they do not have to 
suffer to bring their young into the world. 
For these reasons they have no love for their 
young. Should they meet them they would 
have no means of recognizing them or of en- 
joying their presence. 
Fish Do 
Not Love 
Young 574 
Personal Help for Parents 
We found in the plants that the 
seeds are fertilized while still in 
the ovary; that in the fish the eggs are fer- 
tilized outside the body. In nearly all ani- 
mals above the fish, the eggs or ova are fer- 
tilized while in the mother's body. There is 
no love between male and female fish. They 
do not pair off and live in families. Among 
all the spiders, lizards, serpents, many of the 
insects, crawfish, frogs and toads, there is a 
tendency, at certain seasons, for the male to 
choose a female mate with a view to a home 
and family. But among all the animals we 
have named, many of the parents part or 
leave each other as soon as the eggs are fer- 
tilized. All the others do so as soon as the 
eggs are hatched. The love of parents for 
each other and for their young lasts but a 
few days. Perhaps it would be more cor- 
rect to say that these parents have no love 
for their young and their interest ceases when 
the eggs hatch. Before the young are 
hatched, some of these animals show an in- 
tense interest in their eggs and make some 
provision for the young when they are 
hatched. But the young all grow up without 
a oarent's aid or care. 
Love's 
Dawning CHAPTER XXXV 
THIRD STORY-INSECTS AND BIRDS 
The bee and the ant differ from 
all the insects and animals we 
have studied and in some respects they differ 
from each other. They do not pair off and 
mate, as do other insects, but live in colonies, 
or societies. They do not seem to have any 
special interest in their offspring, or even in 
a mate, but only in the community of bees or 
ants. The perfect organizations they form 
and the homes they build rival work done by 
intelligence and skill of man. 
We will now consider God's plan 
among the birds. In studying their family 
life, we find a higher form of instinct, with 
more love and care for each other and their 
young, than among the animals already 
studied. 
We often feel disgusted at the ugly, slimy 
toads, lizards and snakes living in swamps 
and pools. But not so with the birds. Most 
of them are interesting and beautiful, and 
The Bee 
and Ant 
The Birds 
575 Reproduction 
in 
the Chick 
576 Insects and Birds 
577 
some are fine musicians. In the springtime 
the male bird chooses from among the female 
birds one that suits his fancy and they are 
mated or as we would say, married. 
When they decide to raise a fam- 
ily, they build a nest or home for 
their young. The partridge and lark build 
their nests on the ground; the swallows, in 
chimneys; the pigeons, in barns; the wood- 
cocks and woodpeckers, in hollow limbs; the 
wild ducks and geese, in the high grass and 
weeds along the edges of lakes and ponds; 
but nearly all birds in bushes and trees. The 
cuckoo, however, lays her eggs in the nest of 
other birds, to get rid of trouble and toil in 
hatching, feeding and rearing her young. 
We naturally feel contempt for the cuckoo. 
In every female bird there are 
organs called ovaries, where at 
certain seasons little eggs are formed. While 
small and soft they are fertilized by the male 
bird. As the eggs continue to grow in the 
mother bird's body a hard, thin shell is 
formed on the outside. The eggs of the 
different varieties of birds vary in size and 
color. Usually bird eggs are very pretty. 
When fully formed in the mother bird's 
Nest 
Building 
How Little 
Birds 
Come 578 
Personal Help for Parents 
body, and the nest is ready, they are laid in 
the nest, usually one a day. For several days 
these eggs must have some extra heat, or they 
will not hatch. Among most birds, the 
mother bird sits on her eggs so that the 
warmth of her body may cause the fertilized 
germ in the egg to take on active life and 
form the little bird. In that way the eggs 
are hatched and the little birdies come into 
the world. • 
While the mother bird sits on her 
eggs, the father bird gathers 
fresh worms and berries for the mother to 
eat. When not bringing her water or food, 
he usually is found perched on a near-by 
limb, cheering his wife by singing for and 
talking to her. If her little legs become 
tired, he will take her place, while she flies 
off for exercise, rest, fresh water and food. 
The male bird is never untrue to his wife 
and she is never untrue to her husband. In 
this respect they are good examples for all 
married people. 
When the little birdies are 
hatched, from sunrise to sunset, 
the parents are busy catching insects and find- 
ing worms and feeding them. As their chil- 
Husband 
and Father 
Bird 
Training 
Their Young 
Birdies Insects and Birds 
579 
dren grow larger and older, in some mysteri- 
ous way, they teach them the danger of boys 
with stones and men with guns, and of cats 
and snakes. When they are about grown 
they are taught to fly. Usually the little 
birds obey their parents perfectly. They do 
not run away from home, get out on the 
street, or get into mischief. Sometimes you 
find a small bird that can not fly on the 
ground and the parent birds are crying and 
show great distress about it. The little bird 
left its nest, not because it was naughty and 
disobedient to its parents; it was blown from 
the nest by a storm, or the sight of an ap- 
proaching cat or snake caused it to leave home 
for safety. In this way, little birds set chil- 
dren fine examples. 
'After the little birds leave their nests, they 
live with their parents in flocks, and some- 
times neighbors join them and they live to- 
gether until the following spring, when they 
again will mate and rear families. In this 
way all of the beautiful feathery songsters 
are brought into the world. Without the 
birds, this world would be devoid of much 
beauty and music. CHAPTER XXXVI 
FOURTH STORY-ANIMAL AND HUMAN BABIES 
We at this time shall talk about 
God's plan of increase among the 
higher animals and man, and find that the 
first two great laws, found down among the 
plants, vegetables, flowers and trees, are still 
the principal laws which control the coming 
of the higher animals and man into the 
world. The laws to which I refer are: Every 
little plant, animal and human being comes 
into this world from a seed or egg and must 
have a father and mother, and the father and 
mother natures must unite. These laws 
never change. We also found that the male 
or sexual organs, called anthers in the plants 
and testes in the animals, produce a fertiliz- 
ing substance called pollen in the one and 
semen in the other, and that the female 
organs of sex, the ovaries, produce little 
seeds in plants and eggs in animals. Further, 
we have seen that every new plant comes 
A 
Comparison 
580 Humart 
Reproduction, 
581 582 
Personal Help for Parents 
from the union of the pollen from the father 
organs with the seeds of the mother organs. 
So, too, we have found that every baby oyster, 
fish, insect, lizard, frog and bird comes from 
the union of semen from the father organs 
of the male animals with the egg of the 
mother organs of the female. This last fact 
is just as true of all animals and human 
babies. 
We saw that the father parts of 
the plant united with the seeds of 
the mother part of the plant while in the 
ovary; and that God uses three methods of 
bringing these two natures together, the 
wind, gravity and many kinds of insects, and 
we should have added some kinds of birds, 
such as the hummingbird. In the oyster the 
little father vessels form a liquid substance, 
milky in color, containing hundreds of little 
cells, called sperm cells. The mother 
organs or ovaries form many eggs. When 
these are ripe and burst through the mem- 
brane of the ovary, the father organs eject 
their fertilizing fluid, which unites with the 
eggs as they leave the shell of the oyster. In 
the oyster the father and mother natures 
Two Natures 
Brought 
Together Animal and Human Babies 
583 
unite in the water, not while the eggs are in 
the ovaries of the mother, as in the plants. 
We found fish also to be single- 
sexed animals; that is, they are either male 
or female. The mother fish forms hundreds, 
thousands or millions of eggs in her ovaries. 
When ripe, these eggs are laid in an albu- 
minous substance like the white of a hen's 
egg. The seminal sacs in the father fish form 
a liquid, milky in color, containing many 
thousand little sperm cells. The father fish 
follows along behind the mother fish and 
drops this liquid upon the eggs. When one 
of these little sperm cells from the father 
unites with an egg, the egg is fertilized. A 
few days later the eggs hatch and the little 
fish are perfectly at home in the water. No 
little egg can produce a baby fish unless a 
sperm cell from the father unites with it. If 
there were no father fish, the mother fish 
might still lay millions of eggs, but none of 
them would ever hatch. Now you can un- 
derstand why it is that every baby fish must 
have a father and mother. You also can 
understand why the sperm cell of the father 
must unite with the egg of the mother. In 
The Fish 584 
GOOD FRIENDS Animal and Human Babies 
585 
all of these respects the frogs and toads very 
much resemble the fish. 
Life, from the lowest to the high- 
est is an interesting study. Nature 
recognizes that the higher forms are more 
valuable than the lower. In the lower orders 
of plants, such as the dandelion and thistle, 
more seeds are produced than among the 
corn, wheat and oats. They are not very valu- 
able and nature can afford to lose many of 
their seeds and have plenty left. Fish lay 
thousands or millions of eggs, but nature does 
not teach the male fish to be very cautious in 
fertilizing them. Nature acts as if she could 
lose nine out of ten of the fish eggs and still 
have plenty left. The mother toads and 
frogs lay hundreds of eggs, but not one-tenth 
as many as the fish. In the frogs we find 
nature more cautious. The father frog fol- 
lows the mother frog quite closely while she 
is laying her eggs, and shows a great deal 
more care in trying to fertilize them. 
The birds represent a much 
higher form of life. They are far more 
precious than plants, oysters, fish and toads. 
Bird eggs are far more valuable than fish 
and toad eggs. There are not very many of 
Nature Is 
Cautious 
Birds 586 
Personal Help for Parents 
them. Nature must introduce some new 
methods of protecting them, therefore, or she 
soon will have no birds. 
In the spring, nature teaches the birds to 
pair off or mate. Each male bird chooses, 
according to his fancy, a female bird to be- 
come his wife, his companion and the mother 
of his children. When this is done they find 
a suitable place for a home. For two or 
three days they are busy building a nest or 
home for the eggs. When it is completed 
the mother bird lays three, five or six eggs 
in the nest. They are covered with a hard, 
thin shell. After they are laid, nature does 
not leave them alone, but teaches the mother 
bird to stay with them, sit upon and so give 
the warmth of her body to them, that they 
may be protected and hatched. When the 
little birds come, they are not left to grow up 
as orphans, like the young of the lower ani- 
mals. The parents stay with them, protect- 
ing, feeding and teaching them until they are 
able to look out for themselves. 
We now must go back and learn 
nature's plan of fertilizing the 
eggs of the bird. In the bodies of all mothers 
are tiny ovaries or egg nests. Each mother 
Nature's 
Plan of 
Fertilizing Animal and Human Babies 
587 
fish, frog and bird has two of these ovaries. 
From each of them there is a long tube that 
leads to an outer opening of the mother's 
body. When the eggs are fully formed they 
are sent through these ducts into the water, 
cell or nest. Just as nature has taught the 
birds to build homes for the eggs, to sit upon 
them until they hatch and to protect, feed 
and teach their young, so it must provide a 
way by which the male bird can fertilize the 
eggs, while yet soft, in the mother bird's 
body. Nature teaches the male bird how to 
bring his body in contact with the body of 
the female so that the fertilizing substance 
will be forced through the ducts to the eggs 
in the mother's body. This process or act is 
called coition or copulation. Copulation 
among flies is so common that we hardly 
notice it, and it is a daily occurrence in the 
poultry yard. 
Now you can understand why every baby 
bird must have a father and mother and why 
their two natures must come together. Every 
little bird was once a part of its father and 
mother. 
The beginning life in a seed is 
called an embryo until the seed 
sprouts and then it is a baby plant. The be- 
The 
Embryo 588 
Personal Help for Parents 
ginning life in the egg of an insect, fish or 
bird is an embryo until the egg is hatched 
and then it is a baby insect, fish or bird. 
The embryo of a seed forms a very small 
part of a seed or egg. The bulk of a seed or 
egg consists of food stuff that has been stored 
up for the embryo to live on until the seed 
sprouts or the egg hatches. Twenty-four 
hours after a hen begins sitting on her eggs 
the little embryos in the eggs are not as large 
as the end of a lead pencil. The remainder 
of an egg is stored up food for the embryo. 
We now come to study the high- 
est order of animal life and man. 
Here life will be found more precious and 
valuable than in any form so far studied, 
and nature more careful to protect it before 
and after it comes into the world. 
The word mammal is given to all 
higher animals and man because their young 
are fed on milk formed by the mammary 
glands or breasts of the mothers. The young 
are so precious that a special food thus must 
be made for them. Cats, dogs, hogs, cattle, 
horses, many kinds of wild animals and the 
human family feed their young in this way. 
The oysters, fish, toads, insects and birds 
Higher 
Animals 
and Man 
Mammals Animal and Human Babies 
589 
either do not feed their young at all or they 
have some other mehod. 
The little embryo in a seed begins 
to form and grow after the seed 
is placed in a damp and warm place. When 
the embryo is old enough to leave the seed 
it is called a baby plant. We call this act 
sprouting or germinating. Some kinds of 
seed sprout sooner than others. All seed will 
sprout sooner when the soil is damp and 
warm than when the soil is dry and cold. It 
requires from one to several days for the dif- 
ferent kinds of seed to sprout. 
The embryo in the egg of the fish, insect or 
bird begins to form after the egg is laid and 
it receives the warmth which nature re- 
quires for that kind of egg. When the 
embryo is old enough to leave the egg it 
becomes a baby fish, insect or bird. We call 
this process hatching. The time required for 
this varies in different animals one day to 
three weeks. But in the higher animals and 
man the young are born, not hatched. 
Among the birds the embryo will 
require food for only a few days 
to three weeks before it is old enough to 
leave the shell and take care of itself. 
Sprouting 
and 
Hatching 
Nest in 
Mother's 
Body 590 
Personal Help for Parents 
Plenty of food can be stored up in an egg to 
last the embryo of a bird that long. But now 
we come to the higher forms of animals and 
man, where their embryos must have food for 
from one month to more than a year before 
they are old enough to come into the world 
as babies. So, as nature could not store up 
enough food in an egg for one of these em- 
bryos, she had to provide some other way to 
feed them. 
Nature has built in the bodies of 
all of the females a cozy nest or 
home for the embryo, called the womb. Con- 
nected with it are the two ovaries that form 
little eggs; connected with the door of the 
womb is the tube we already have mentioned, 
which leads to an outer opening of the 
mother's body. At certain times one or 
more eggs are formed by the ovaries and 
sent over to the womb. In the female hog 
from three to twelve eggs are formed at one 
time; in the ewe, or female sheep, one and 
two eggs are formed at one time; in the cow, 
mare and woman usually there is but one 
egg formed at the time. The number of eggs 
formed at one time determines the number of 
young that will be born at one time, if the 
A Wonderful 
Arrange** 
ment Animal and Human Babies 
591 
eggs are fertilized by the male. If the female 
animal has found no mate the eggs will not 
be fertilized and she can not become a 
mother. This is why pure women do not 
become mothers until they are married. 
When an egg is formed by one of 
the ovaries and is sent over to the 
womb, if it is met by a sperm cell from the 
male it is fertilized. The little embryo then 
starts to grow and is attached to the walls 
of the womb by a delicate membrane called 
the placenta. Gradually there forms a little 
cord containing blood vessels that is con- 
nected at one end with the placenta and at 
the other with the body of the embryo at a 
point called the navel. Your navel shows 
where you were once connected with mama's 
body. As long as the embryo remains in the 
mother's body it will require air, water and 
food. These are furnished by the mother 
and sent into the body of the little embryo 
through the cord that connects the two to- 
gether. 
When the embryo has been in 
this mother-nest as long as nature 
planned for it to remain there, the little door 
of this nest will open and the strong muscles 
Fertilizing 
the Egg 
Birth 
According 
to Nature 
V.l-14 592 
Personal Help for Parents 
will contract and force the young life out 
into the outer world. This is what we call 
birth, and it is always accompanied with 
suffering on the part of the mother. In the 
human mother the suffering is much greater 
than among the mother animals and usually 
lasts for several hours. This is why the 
human mother loves her children so much 
more and so much longer than do the 
mothers among the lower animals. 
Mama will now tell you how an- 
other mother told her little boy 
the way he came into the world. 
This mama said: When my little boy was 
six years old, attending the public school, 
thrown daily with all classes of boys, I knew 
that he was constantly in danger of being told 
of his birth by ignorant and wicked boys in 
such way as would do him much harm. 
Daily I was praying to God asking him to 
help me to see the best opportunity and way 
of telling my boy the story. One day it 
came. I saw him playing with the pet cat 
in a rather rough manner and said, "Son, 
don't handle the old cat so roughly; handle 
her gently and tenderly." His reply was, 
"Mama, why should I not play with her as 
How 
Another 
Mother 
Told Story Animal and Human Babies 
593 
I have always done?" "Son, mama can't 
make the reason plain to you now, but you 
obey me and in about ten days I will tell you 
a very beautiful and wonderful story that 
will make it all plain to you." Then he in- 
quired, "Mama, why not tell me that story 
now?" I said, "Son, the story is to be true 
and it will take about ten days more for all 
parts of it to be finished." As those days 
glided by, with pride I observed the unusual 
tenderness, attention and kindness that he 
showed in playing with the cat. 
One morning he came running 
into my room excited, elated and 
overflowing with joy, and invited me out to 
see what he had found. I anticipated his 
discovery, but wanted him to have all the 
pleasure and honor of it. So I offered my 
hand and agreed to go with him, if he would 
lead the way. Quickly he seized my hand 
and proudly he led me. When we stepped 
from the back porch, turning, he pointed 
under the floor to his discovery. I turned 
around and beheld four as pretty kittens, 
playing about the mother and basking in the 
sunlight, as one ever sees. He bragged about 
finding them, called my attention to their 
Wonderful 
Discovery 594 
Personal Help for Parents 
color and beauty, claiming two of them as 
his own. 
We then sat down on a rustic 
seat side by side where we could 
see the kittens, and continued to talk about 
them. At length I said, "Son, do you re- 
member the little talk we had several days 
ago when you were handling the old mother 
cat rather roughly?" "Yes, mama, and you 
promised to tell me a beautiful story, that 
would make it all plain to me. Say, mama, 
can't you tell that story now?" "Yes, son, 
all parts of it are now finished. I will tell 
you one of the prettiest, sweetest stories a 
mother ever told her boy. When I asked 
you to be kind to the old cat, those four little 
kittens were in her body. That was why 
she appeared larger than she does now. Then 
the kittens were much smaller and tenderer 
than they now are. If you had been rough 
with the old cat, you might have injured 
them so that they would have been born 
crippled, deformed or dead. When they 
were born, a few days ago, their eyes were so 
tender that the full light of the sun would 
have put out their sight, so they were born 
with their eyelids closed and glued together. 
Talked 
the Matter 
Over Animal and Human Babies 
595 
The old mother cat knew how tender their 
eyes would be, so she went away back under 
the dark floor and gave them birth. As they 
grew older and their eyes got stronger, she 
brought them a little nearer and then a little 
nearer to the opening, until they are now 
able to look up into the face of the sun." 
By this time I saw that my boy 
was anxious to ask a question, 
which I was eager for him to put. I believed 
he was going to ask me what God wanted him 
to ask, and that my mother heart longed for 
him to ask. I paused and looked into his up- 
turned face. As his deep, true eyes met mine, 
very naturally and seriously he said, "Mama, 
was I once in your body?" "Yes, son, you 
first began to live in mama's body, in a little 
nest or home just under my heart. You 
started as a little egg. For two hundred and 
eighty long days, nine long months, you were 
growing in my body. 
"Mama knew you were there and 
loved and prayed for you long be- 
fore she ever saw you, and had to be very 
careful not to meet with an accident lest you 
might be born deformed or dead. She had 
to be cautious, too, about the food she ate, the 
Asks a 
Sacred 
Question 
Loved You 
Before 
Birth 596 
Personal Help for Parents 
air she breathed, the water she drank, the 
exercise she took and all she thought and did, 
because you were connected with her body by 
a little cord filled with blood vessels, through 
which • she supplied you with the materials 
necessary to the growth of your body, mind 
and soul. In this way you were constantly 
being influenced by mama, who was anxious 
that you should have a healthy, perfect body, 
and sound mind, so that you might grow up 
to be a worthy and useful man. If mama had 
been angry, untruthful or dishonest during 
the months you were a part of her, you might 
have been born with an ugly disposition, tend- 
ency to steal or to be untruthful, so she was 
very careful about her thoughts, language and 
what she did during the months that you were 
a part of her body. 
"Mama knew about the day that 
you would leave your little home 
and come into the world. For hours she suf- 
fered great pain. Our faithful doctor was 
present and did all he could to lessen mama's 
suffering. Papa stood at mama's side, held 
her hand in his, often stooped over and kissed 
her lips, cheeks and brow. As soon as you 
were born, the air rushed into vour lungs and 
you cried. 
Great Pain 
at Birth Animal and Human Babies 
597 
Mama heard your baby cry and 
it thrilled her with a joy known 
only to a mother when she realizes for the first 
time that her baby has been born alive. But, 
son, when you were born and for many weeks 
and months you were tender and helpless. If 
mama had died and there was no one present 
to care for you, you soon would have died, too. 
God might have searched heaven over and He 
could not have found an angel who would 
have loved you as much or cared for you so 
well as mama could. She fed you at her 
breast, held you in her lap, fondled you in her 
arms and sung lullabies to you. When you 
were only a few weeks old some nights you 
had the colic, and as you were racked with 
pain, mama would walk the floor with you, 
rub your little body and sing to you." 
"By this time," said the mother, 
"my boy had climbed upon the 
rustic seat, thrown his arms about my neck, 
was kissing my cheek, while tears rolled down 
his cheeks." Then he said, "Mama, I am 
glad you told me that story. It is the prettiest 
one you ever told me, and has made me love 
you better than I ever did. Why, mama, I 
never knew that for a long time I was a part 
Joy to 
Mother's 
Heart 
Greater 
Love for 
Mother 598 
Personal, Help for Parents 
of yourself; that you loved and prayed for me 
long before you ever saw me; that you were 
so careful to have me well-born; that you had 
to suffer so when I was born; and that you 
loved and cared for me so when I was tiny 
and sick. I can love you better now and I will 
try never to disobey or tell you a falsehood." 
"My son, this is the story of your 
birth. And your papa loved and 
prayed for you, too, and he has toiled to make 
money, so that he can educate and furnish you 
a pleasant home. These are some of the 
reasons why papa and mama love you now, 
and take so much interest in your future. 
Were you to go wrong, I am sure our old 
days would be spent in grief, but if your 
thoughts, words and habits are kept pure and 
manly, every time we see or think of you we 
will be thrilled with joy. Will you not now 
promise yourself, God and mama to make a 
manly effort to keep pure? If you do, papa 
and mama will be repaid many times for all 
their sacrifice for you." 
Father and 
Mother 
Love CHAPTER XXXVII 
PUBERTY 
Though the necessity for parental 
instruction begins at an early age, 
and continues through the years of childhood, 
it is especially necessary when puberty ap- 
proaches. 
At a certain period in the life of 
the youth he undergoes a change 
by which he acquires powers which qualify 
him to take part in the perpetuation of his 
kind. This change is the period of puberty. 
It is distinguished by a number of physical 
alterations, the most significant of which is 
the secretion of a fecundating fluid. 
The proper age at which puberty should 
come varies from twelve to eighteen years, as 
it is influenced by many surrounding condi- 
tions. 
When the boy passes to the condi- 
tion of youth he leaves behind him 
the characteristics of childhood. The skin be- 
When 
Puberty 
Approaches 
What Is 
Puberty? 
The Boy's 
Changes 
599 600 
Personal Help for Parents 
comes coarser and less delicate, the muscles 
firmer and more distinctly marked, the voice 
loses its childish treble, the vocal apparatus 
enlarges and emits a harsher sound, the bones 
harden, the "wisdom teeth" appear, various 
parts of the body become covered with a soft 
down which gradually becomes rougher and 
thicker, and those organs peculiar to his sex 
enlarge. 
Not less remarkable are the mental changes. 
Unwonted desires and sensations, half under- 
stood and confusing, awake in the mind im- 
pulses to which he has been a stranger, vague 
longings after he knows not what, sudden ac- 
cesses of shamefacedness in circumstances 
where he had ever been at ease, a restlessness 
and a wilfulness, indicate to the observing eye 
the revolution which is going on within. 
Perilous moment for the boy! 
1. Climate.-Travelers have fre- 
quently observed that in tropical 
countries both the sexes arrive at maturity 
earlier in life than in temperate or cold coun- 
tries. This explains the early marriages 
which are customary in those localities, and 
which do not appear to exert the injurious in- 
fluence on the offspring which is almost con- 
Causes of 
Variation Puberty 
601 
stantly observed in temperate climates from 
premature union. 
2. Hereditary Tendency.-This is con- 
stantly observed as hastening or retarding by 
a year or two the development of both sexes. 
It is to some extent connected with race, as it 
is found that negroes are more precocious 
than whites, and boys of southern parentage 
than those of northern. This is readily seen 
to be traceable to the influence of climate just 
referred to. 
3. The temperament is also a controlling 
influence. Light haired, stout, phlegmatic 
boys are longer in attaining the age of puberty 
than those of nervous and nervo-bilious tem- 
peraments. 
4. O ccupation and habits have also much 
to do in the matter. As a general rule, the 
more vigorous, the more addicted to athletic 
exercise, the more accustomed to outdoor life, 
and to active pursuits, the slower will be this 
change in approaching. This statement may 
be unexpected to many; they may think that 
vigorous health is precisely what nature 
would wish to assist her to complete this pro- 
found and mysterious transformation in the 
constitution. 602 
Personal Help for Parents 
5. The constitution, by which we mean the 
mass of morbid or healthy tendencies inher- 
ited from parents, consequently has very con- 
siderable weight in determining the time at 
which the change will take place. In accord- 
ance with the physiological law just quoted, 
it is very generally found that boys with weak, 
nervous, debilitated constitutions are apt to 
be precocious, and those gifted by their 
parents with sturdy limbs and a powerful 
frame remain boys much longer. 
The less that the boy and the youth 
think about, or any way have 
their attention directed to, the sexual distinc- 
tions, the better. Does it follow from this that 
it is the duty of parents and teachers sedulously 
and wholly to refrain from warning them, or 
giving instructions of a private nature? This 
important question has been frequently dis- 
cussed, and there are now, as there always 
have been, men of influence who answer it in 
the affirmative. But it is also worth remark- 
ing that without an exception those medical 
authors who have given most constant and 
earnest attention to the diseases and disorders 
which arise from the prevailing ignorance in 
such matters are earnest and emphatic in their 
Hygiene of 
Puberty Puberty 
603 
recommendations to educators and to parents 
to give sound advice to the boys., and to urge 
upon them the observance of certain precau- 
tions, which tend to remove premature excite- 
ments. 
It is one of the most important 
duties of those who have charge 
of youths to see that neither by ignorance nor 
urged by opportunity or intellectual stimu- 
lants, they forestall nature's own good time. 
Most inexcusable is the false modesty which, 
on the ground of fear lest indecorous thoughts 
should be awakened, serves as the plea for 
wholly neglecting this vital department of 
sanitary supervision. 
Systematic, daily, regulated exer- 
cise, pushed to the verge of fa- 
tigue, and varied so as to keep up the interest 
of the pupil, can not be too much insisted 
upon. This alone is worth all other precau- 
tions, and is almost indispensable. Now that 
most large schools have gymnasiums attached, 
and especially as light gymnastics have been 
so widely introduced, and can be put in prac- 
tice at such small expense, there is no excuse 
for neglecting this precept. Parents will do 
well to decline sending their boys to aay insti- 
False 
Modesty 
Muscular 
Develop- 
ment 604 
Personal Help for Parents 
tution which has no provisions for physical 
culture. 
It were an excellent arrangement 
for every boy to be induced to take a sponge 
bath, or, what is better, a shower bath, every 
morning, in cool or cold water. 
Avoidance of irritation from any 
cause is always essential. It may 
arise from ill-fitting drawers or pants, or from 
an uncomfortable seat, or from constipation 
of the bowels, or from an unhealthy condition 
of the urine or bladder, from piles, and much 
more frequently from worms, especially those 
familiarly known as seat-worms. Soft cush- 
ions should be dispensed with; cane-bottomed 
chairs and benches are for many reasons 
preferable. Certain varieties of skin diseases 
of a chronic character are attended by such a 
degree of heat and itching that the child is 
led involuntarily to scratch and rub the af- 
fected part. Whenever they attack the inside 
of the thighs or lower part of the abdomen, 
they should receive prompt and efficient treat- 
ment. 
The dormitory should invariably 
be of a character to promote mod- 
esty. Never should two or three boys be al- 
Cleanliness 
Avoid 
Irritation 
Dormitory 
Regulations Puberty 
605 
lowed to sleep In the same bed, and it were 
more prudent to assign each a separate cham- 
ber. They should be encouraged by precept 
and example to avoid needless exposure of the 
person and indecorous gestures. The beds 
should be tolerably hard, mattresses of hair or 
with springs being greatly preferable to those 
of feathers, cotton or sponge. These latter are 
heating, and, therefore, objectionable. The 
bed clothing should be light, thick comfort- 
ables being avoided, and the chambers should 
be cool and well ventilated. Every boy should 
be required before retiring to empty the blad- 
der, as the presence of much fluid in that organ 
acts as a sort of irritation on the surrounding 
parts. When a boy wets his bed during sleep, 
it may be taken as evidence that he either 
neglects his duty, or else that there is some 
local irritation present which requires med- 
ical attention. Sleeping on the back should 
be warned against, as this is one of the known 
causes of nocturnal excitement and emissions. 
Equally important as these phys- 
ical regulations is it that the boy 
should be assiduously trained to look with dis- 
gust and abhorrence on whatever is indecent 
in word or action. Let him be taught a sense 
Moral 
Training 606 
Personal Help for Parents 
of shame, that modesty is manly and honor- 
able, and that immodesty is base and dishonor- 
able. Strengthen a taste for those things that 
are of the utmost concern to life, health and 
happiness; those things that ought to be the 
purest, sweetest, and truest; that knowledge 
which in itself, rightly given, will do the ut- 
most good, and will never do harm. 
All these precautions are to what 
end? To avoid exciting the pas- 
sion of sex. It is well to hold this clearly in 
view; and it is also well to understand dis- 
tinctly what this passion is. 
Is this passion a fire from heaven or a subtle 
flame from hell? 
The noblest and most unselfish emotions 
take their rise in this passion of sex; the most 
perfect natures are molded by its sweet influ- 
ence; the most elevating ties which bind hu- 
manity to holy effort are formed by it. 
The wise man will recognize in the emo- 
tions of youth a power of good, and a divinely 
implanted instinct, which will, if properly 
trained, form a more symmetrical and per- 
fected being than could possibly be formed in 
its absence; and he will have impressed upon 
him the responsibility which devolves on 
Passion the 
Foundation 
of Nobility Puberty 
607 
those that have to control and guide this in- 
stinct. 
It is not at the period of puberty 
that passion commences. In fact, 
it is hard to say how early it may not be pres- 
ent; and this point we wish to impress the 
more emphatically, because parents and 
teachers, in spite of their own boyish experi- 
ences, if they would but recall them, are too 
liable to persuade themselves that at the age 
of five or ten years no particular precautions 
are necessary. But the physician knows that 
even in infants it is not very rare to witness 
excitement of the organs, which must depend 
on the action of those nerves which control 
passion. 
Self-abuse not uncommonly pre- 
vails at the ages we have mentioned, and 
proves the early development of the instinct. 
In such cases it is a purely nervous phenome- 
non not associated with the discharge of the 
secretion, which does not yet exist. 
The danger that threatens is not to 
be obviated by a complete repres- 
sion or an annihilation of this part of our 
nature as something evil in itself, but by rec- 
ognizing it as a natural, prominent and even 
When Does 
Passion 
Commence? 
Self=Abuse 
Source of 
Elevation 
or Ruin 608 
Personal Help for Parents 
noble faculty, which only needs intelligent 
education and direction to become a source of 
elevated enjoyment and moral improvement. 
Should the false modesty, the ignorance or 
the neglect of those who have charge of youth 
at the critical period when the instinct first 
makes itself felt leave it to wander astray, it 
is with the certainty of ensuing mental anguish, 
physical injury and moral debasement. To 
what a hideous depth these aberrations or pas- 
sions may descend we dare not disclose; for, 
as the Apostle says, "it is a shame even to speak 
of those things." 
The power of procreation does not 
usually exist in the human male 
until the age of from fourteen to sixteen years; 
and it may be considered probable that no 
spermatozoa are produced until that period, 
although a fluid is secreted by the testes. At 
this epoch, which is ordinarily designated as 
that of puberty, a considerable change takes 
place in the bodily constitution. 
The procreative power may last, if not 
abused, during a very long period. Un- 
doubted instances of virility at the age of more 
than one hundred years are on record; but, in 
these cases, the general bodily vigor was pre- 
Age of 
Puberty 
in Man Puberty 
609 
served in a very remarkable degree. The ordi- 
nary rule seems to be that sexual power is not 
retained by the male, in any considerable de- 
gree, after the age of sixty or sixty-five years. 
The essential part of the female 
generative system is that in which 
the ova are prepared; the other organs are 
merely accessory, and are not to be found in 
a large proportion of the animal kingdom. 
In the human female, the period of puberty, 
or of commencing aptitude for procreation, is 
usually between the thirteenth and sixteenth 
years; it is earlier in warm climates than in 
cold; and in densely populated manufacturing 
towns, than in thinly peopled agricultural dis- 
tricts. The mental and bodily habits of the 
individual have also a considerable influence 
upon the time of its occurrence, girls brought 
up in the midst of luxury or sensual indulg- 
ence undergoing this change earlier than those 
reared in hardihood and self-denial. The 
changes in which puberty consists are for the 
most part connected with the reproductive 
system. 
It is to this periodical function of 
her system that woman owes 
health, life and all that can make her attract- 
Female 
Organism 
Age of 
Puberty 
in Woman 610 
Personal Help for Parents 
ive, as a woman, to the opposite sex. It can 
not be that it was designed to be a period of 
suffering. It is as essential a function of her 
organism as is breathing. On the regular, 
healthful recurrence of no function of her 
nature does her beauty, her energy, her health 
and happiness more essentially depend. Yet, 
feebly organized and developed as women, in 
civilized life, now are, it is generally a period 
of physical and mental prostration, and often 
of deepest suffering to the body and anguish 
to the soul. It is then her nature calls for the 
tenderest love and sympathy from the opposite 
sex; but it is the time when, often, even from 
him who holds to her the relation of husband, 
she gets the least. But, if men were taught in 
early life to understand this function of the 
female system, and its relations to her beauty, 
health and happiness, and to all the dearest 
relations of life, they would accord to her, 
during this period, their purest, tenderest and 
manliest sympathy, CHAPTER XXXVIII 
THE NORMAL BABY 
An inexperienced mother is often 
greatly at a loss to know whether 
a baby is properly thriving or not, and may 
be unduly alarmed at small matters, or may 
not understand the serious nature of certain 
conditions. It may be helpful to mention the 
leading characteristics of a normal, healthy 
baby, and the mother may assume the lack of 
these conditions to show that temporarily or 
otherwise the baby is not in perfect health: 
A steady gain in weight. 
Bowel movements of the normal number, 
color and consistency. 
Absence of vomiting or regurgitation of 
the food. 
A good appetite. 
A clear skin. 
Bright, wide-open eyes. 
Alert, springy muscles, which respond 
readily to any stimulus. 
A contented exoression. 
Develop- 
ment 
611 612 
A HEALTHY SPECIMEN The Normal Baby 
613 
Very little crying. 
Quiet, unbroken sleep, with eyes and mouth 
tightly closed. 
No evidence of pain or discomfort. 
A constant growth in stature and intelli- 
gence. 
Other points in a normal development are: 
The soft spot in the top of the head begins 
to close at fourteen months and should be 
entirely closed at two years. 
The baby learns to hold up his head, un- 
supported, during the fourth month. 
He laughs aloud from the third to the fifth 
month. 
He reaches for toys and holds them from 
the fifth to the seventh month. 
At seven or eight months he is usually able 
to sit erect and hold the spine upright. 
During the ninth and tenth months he 
makes the first attempts to bear the weight 
on the feet and can usually stand with as- 
sistance at eleven or twelve months. 
He begins to walk alone in the twelfth and 
thirteenth months and walks alone at the 
fifteenth or sixteenth month. 
At one year usually a few words can be 
spoken, and at the end of the second vear the 
baby makes short sentences. 614 
Personal Help for Parents 
Children differ in the rapidity of their 
development, some being slower and some 
faster; therefore the mother should not be 
unduly alarmed at variations from this state- 
ment, although marked differences should 
put her on guard. 
The embryonic teeth begin to de- 
velop at least six months before birth. It is 
probable that a nutritious diet for the pros- 
pective mother lays the foundation for 
healthy teeth in the baby and that lack of 
proper food for the mother may deprive both 
her own and the baby's teeth of some part of 
their normal vigor. Every child has two sets 
of teeth. The first set known as the decidu- 
ous or "milk" teeth, are replaced, beginning 
at about the sixth year, with the permanent 
or "second" teeth. Nearly all so-called 
"teething" troubles belong to the first period, 
as a disturbance is rarely connected with the 
coming of the permanent set. 
At birth each tiny tooth of both sets lies 
partly imbedded in a cavity of the jawbone, 
surrounded with and covered by the softer 
tissues of the gum. As the baby grows, the 
teeth grow also, and if the baby is healthy 
they are ready to cut through the gums, be- 
Teeth The Normal Baby 
615 
ginning at about the seventh month of life. 
There are twenty of the milk teeth, five in 
each half jaw. The teeth appear in groups. 
There are five of these groups, with intervals 
between their appearance. After the first 
LOWER JAW 
1. First incisor, six to nine 
months. 
2. Second incisor, twelve to 
fifteen months. 
3. Canine or "stomach," 
eighteen to twenty-four 
months. 
4. First molar, twelve to 
fifteen months. 
5. Second molar, twenty-four 
to thirty months. 
UPPER JAW 
1. First incisor, eight to 
twelve months. 
2. Second incisor, eight to 
twelve months. 
3. Canine or "eye," eighteen 
to twenty-four months. 
4. First molar, fifteen 
months. 
5. Second molar, twenty-four 
to thirty months. 
group there is a pause of five to eight weeks; 
after the second a pause of one to three 
months; after the third, one of from two to 
three months; after the fourth, one of from 
two to four months. Thus, by the time the 616 
Personal Help for Parents 
baby is one year old it may have six teeth; 
at one and one-half years there should be 
twelve; at two years, sixteen teeth; and at two 
and one-half years the entire set should be 
cut. There is considerable variation, both as 
to the order in which they appear and in the 
time, so that the mother need not be alarmed 
if her baby does not follow the average as 
above stated, but if the baby has no teeth at 
the end of the first year it can hardly be said 
to be developing properly. Probably the 
diet is at fault, or some disease is retarding 
the growth of the baby in general. In such 
a case the doctor should be consulted. 
The above illustrations, with the 
appended notes, show the position 
of the teeth in the mouth, their names, and 
the approximate times of their appearances. 
This set of teeth is replaced by the perma- 
nent set, beginning about the sixth year. A 
child should be taken to the dentist at this 
time, if, as sometimes happens, the milk teeth 
are so firm that they do not fall out, but, re- 
maining in the jaws, crowd back the second 
set and cause them to come in misshapen and 
irregular. 
Deciduous 
or "Milk" 
Teeth The Normal Baby 
617 
During the second year the baby 
should have more or less dry, 
hard foods on which to chew. There is 
sometimes a tendency to keep a baby too long 
on an exclusively soft diet for fear that solid 
food will upset him, but it is important to the 
development of strong, healthy teeth that 
they shall have exercise in biting and chew- 
ing. Begin by giving the baby of about a 
year of age some dry, hard crust or toast, or 
hard crackers, at the end of a regular meal. 
During the second year, other kinds of food 
requiring chewing may be gradually added 
to the diet list and taken as part of the regu- 
lar meals. 
It is generally believed that much 
of the health of the second teeth 
depends upon the care that is given to the 
first set. As soon as the molars make their 
appearance they should be gently cleaned 
each day with a soft brush. As the baby 
grows into childhood he should be taught the 
daily care of his own teeth, which will insure 
the proper care of his teeth as he grows older. 
Weaning is the process whereby 
the baby is gradually deprived of breast 
Growth of 
"Milk" 
Teeth 
Care of 
"Milk" 
Teeth 
Weaning 618 
Personal Help for Parents 
milk. It should proceed slowly, one bottle 
feeding being substituted for one breast feed- 
ing during the day for some time, then two 
bottles, and so on until all breast feeding has 
been done away with and the baby is en- 
tirely weaned. In order that this change 
may be accomplished with as little disturb- 
ance as possible, one bottle feeding may be 
given to the baby in twenty-four hours as 
early as the fifth or sixth month. This will 
hardly be sufficient to upset the baby's diges- 
tion and yet will serve to accustom him to 
the taste of strange food and to the use of the 
bottle, and to begin the education of the 
stomach in dealing with new materials. 
In most cases the baby should be 
weaned by the end of the first 
year and in some cases from one to three 
months earlier, depending largely upon the 
health of the baby, the amount and quality 
of the breast milk, and upon the time of the 
year. It is unwise to wean the baby in the 
heat of summer or when infant illness of 
any sort is epidemic. It has been proved 
over and over again that breast milk will 
save a sick baby's life and restore him to 
health after the strain of a long, hot summer, 
When to 
Wean The Normal Baby 
619 
and that often there is no other food that can 
be relied upon to accomplish the same result. 
Therefore, even though the breast milk must 
be supplemented with one or several bottles, 
it is wise to nurse the baby through the sum- 
mer so that the breasts will not cease entirely 
to secrete and may be called on in an emerg- 
ency. If the baby is weaned at ten months 
or earlier he may be fed by bottle; if not 
until the end of the year, he may be taught 
to drink from a glass or cup directly. 
If drinking water has been given by means 
of a nursing bottle during much of the first 
year, the baby will take his food in the same 
way the more readily. A healthy infant 
weaned at nine months should begin with 
the food for an infant of four or five months. 
If he digests this mixture well, the strength 
can be increased until within two or three 
weeks he is taking the food full strength. 
Increase in the diet should be made with 
special caution at the beginning of summer 
or during the heat, when there is great dan- 
ger of inducing diarrhea. It is far better to 
keep the baby on rather a low diet, even 
without increasing his weight, than to upset 
the intestinal tract by overfeeding, If after 620 
Personal Help for Parents 
trying a new food, vomiting occurs or the 
stools show that there is indigestion, it is 
always best to return to the weaker food until 
the disturbance has subsided. 
An artificially fed infant is 
weaned from the bottle by begin- 
ning at ten months to substitute one feeding 
a day from the spoon or cup for one bottle 
feeding, gradually increasing the number of 
such feedings until the baby is weaned, 
usually by the thirteenth month. The mother 
will find it a convenience to continue the 
bottle for the night feedings as long as 
necessary. 
The infant brain increases in size 
two and one-half times in the first year, a 
greater growth than takes place during all 
the remaining years of life. At the same 
time this enormous brain development is tak- 
ing place the other organs of the little body 
are growing rapidly. During sleep the body 
tissues are recreated and the energy and 
materials needed for the activity of the wak- 
ing hours are stored up. It is manifest, 
therefore, that the baby must have a corre- 
spondingly large allowance of sleep. He 
should be provided with the best possible 
Weaning 
from the 
Bottle 
Sleep Tub Normal Baby 
621 
sleeping accommodations, so that the hours 
of sleep may be of the greatest value to him. 
He should always sleep in a bed by him- 
self, and whenever possible in a room by 
himself, where he need not be disturbed by 
the presence of other persons, and where 
light, warmth and ventilation may be ad- 
justed to his particular needs. A young baby 
sleeps eighteen or twenty hours out of twenty- 
four. At six months of age a baby sleeps 
about sixteen hours, at one year about four- 
teen hours, and at two years at least twelve 
hours. Daytime naps should be continued 
as long as possible. 
A baby should be trained from 
the beginning to have the longest 
period of unbroken sleep at night. Some 
babies get a wrong start in this respect and 
make great trouble by turning night into day. 
A strong argument in favor of the three-hour 
nursing interval is that it does away largely 
with the need of waking the baby to nurse. 
Nature intends that the baby shall awaken 
when hungry, and this normally occurs about 
once in three hours in a healthy baby, so that 
with a little care the regular feeding interval 
can be made to coincide with the normal 
Regularity 
of Sleep 622 
Personal Help for Parents 
periods of waking. If the baby is still sound 
asleep when the three-hour period has come 
around, he should be gently roused and put 
to breast. This will involve little shock 
to his nerves, because he will be about ready 
to waken in any event. 
For the first three months the baby will 
probably sleep both morning and afternoon. 
As he grows older these two naps will be 
merged into one, and an effort should be 
made to have the longest waking interval in 
the afternoon, gradually training the baby 
to stay awake long enough at that time to be 
quite ready to drop off to sleep for the night 
as soon as he has had his supper. A mother 
who must prepare and serve the evening 
meal of the family will find it a great com- 
fort to give the baby his supper at half past 
five and have him in his crib at six. For the 
first few months he will be fed again about 
ten o'clock, but after that he should not be 
taken up. He must be made comfortable in 
every way, the light should be put out, the 
window opened, his covers adapted to the tem- 
perature, but after the mother has assured her- 
self that everything essential to his comfort 
has been attended to, she should not go to The Normal Baby 
623 
him when he cries, if he is a pertectly 
healthy baby. A few nights of this training 
will result in entire comfort for the baby and 
the family, while the opposite conditions will 
make the baby a tyrant who ruthlessly spoils 
the comfort of the entire household. 
For very young or delicate babies 
the temperature of the sleeping 
room should be kept at about 
sixty-five degrees. After the baby is three 
months old the temperature may be permit- 
ted to fall to fifty-five degrees and during 
the second year to forty-five. Strong and 
healthy babies are quickly accustomed to cool 
and even cold sleeping rooms and usually 
sleep more soundly and keep themselves cov- 
ered better than when sleeping in warm 
rooms. In the severe northern winter where 
the temperature drops many degrees below 
freezing before morning the baby must wear 
a flannel nightgown over the cotton one. The 
sleeves should be pinned together over the 
ends of the fingers so that the hands will be 
covered. A very soft flannel nightcap may 
be needed and heated articles, such as hot- 
water bottles or bags of sand or salt may be 
Tempera- 
ture of 
Sleeping 
Room 624 
Personal Help for Parents 
placed in the bed, great care being taken that 
they are covered in such a way that the baby 
can not be burned. The baby should also 
take his daytime naps in a cold room. 
Comfortable sleep during the heated por- 
tion of the year is more difficult to secure. 
The most airy room should be chosen, and 
all the baby's clothing removed, save the 
diaper and a very thin cotton gown with loose 
sleeves. It is better, if possible, to keep the 
baby out of doors during late afternoon and 
evening until the rooms have cooled. If there 
is a screened porch, he may sleep out all 
night, with sufficient protection from sudden 
changes in the weather. Out-of-door sleep- 
ing in summer, both by night and day, is 
excellent for the baby after he is a month or 
two old, provided always that he is protected 
from flies and mosquitoes, shielded from the 
sun and wind, and is covered warmly if there 
is a sudden drop in the temperature. A baby 
should never be put down to sleep in all his 
clothes. His shoes, especially, should be re- 
moved, and, unless the weather is very cold, 
it is better to remove the stockings, also. But 
the baby's feet must always be kept warm. The Normal Bast 
625 
If the baby sleeps lightly, wakens 
often and seems uncomfortable, 
it may be that something is disturbing him 
which can be remedied. 
He may be nervous from having been 
tickled, played with, or tossed about in the 
latter part of the day. Overstimulation is to 
be avoided at all times, no matter what its 
source or what the age of the baby. 
He may be too warm, too cold, or wet; 
there may be something scratching him, or 
there may be wrinkles in the bedclothing; 
he may be lying in a cramped position, or 
the band or diaper may be too tight. 
Or, more likely, he has been overfed, or 
has had something unsuitable to eat, or is 
hungry or thirsty. 
The room may be too hot, too cold, too 
light, too noisy, or not sufficiently aired. The 
conditions which make sleep a delight to 
older persons affect the baby in the same 
way, namely, plenty of fresh air passing in 
a constant current through the room, quiet, 
a clean body, and clean, comfortable cloth- 
ing, a good bed, and suitable coverings. 
A cool bath or a warm one, according to 
the temperature, will help to induce quiet 
Disturbed 
Sleep 626 
Personal Help for Parents 
sleep. In the summer, when the baby is fret- 
ful and sleeps restlessly, a tub bath at bed- 
time will help to relieve him. A little baby 
should be turned over once or twice in the 
course of a long nap. 
Never give a baby any sort of 
medicine to induce sleep. All soothing 
syrups or other similar preparations contain 
drugs that are bad for the baby, and many 
of them are exceedingly dangerous. Many 
babies die every year from being given such 
medicines. The baby should never be al- 
lowed to go to sleep with anything in the 
nature of a pacifier in his mouth. Thumb 
and finger sucking babies will rebel fiercely 
at being deprived of this comfort when they 
are going to sleep, but this must be done if 
the habit is to be broken up. The baby 
ought to have a quiet place in which to 
sleep, but he should be taught to sleep 
through the ordinary household noises, unless 
they are unduly disturbing. It should not 
be necessary to walk on tiptoe and talk in 
whispers while the baby sleeps, provided he 
has a room to himself during his daytime 
naps. 
Medicines CHAPTER XXXIX 
CARE OF CHILDREN 
Without question the best food 
for an infant is that provided by 
nature-namely, its mother's milk. A child 
fed thus, so long as the mother is healthy, is 
more likely to thrive and grow healthy and 
strong, and is far less liable to cause worry 
and anxiety, and to suffer from the number- 
less little ailments of infants, than one fed in 
any other way. 
A mother who decides to suckle 
her infant must forego some of 
the pleasures and all of the dissipations of 
fashionable life. A suckling infant, how- 
ever, can impart more real joy to a nursing 
mother than all the pleasures that so-called 
fashionable society is capable of bestowing. 
About the third or fourth day after deliv- 
ery, the breasts usually become much dis- 
tended with milk. In first confinements 
Food for 
Infant 
A Happy 
Mother 
627 628 
Personal Help for Parents 
especially, there is, until the third day, but 
little milk. Much care and attention are 
now needed. At this period the milk fever, 
so-called, generally occurs, and from the time 
of delivery until the milk fever has passed 
away, none but the plainest and simplest food 
should be taken. 
Nipples, like all other parts of 
the body, when newly used after 
long rest, become sore. A month or two be- 
fore the expected confinement, the mother 
should harden the nipples by means of thumb 
and fingers. 
After childbirth, they may be thoroughly 
bathed with a sponge or soft linen rag, after 
which a dusting powder of starch or arrow- 
root may be applied. 
It is advised in some cases where the 
breasts become hard, painful and knotty, to 
bathe them with warm sweet oil, or pure 
sweet oil and cologne water, equal parts, well 
mixed when used. As a rule, however, the 
very best physician that the breast can pos- 
sibly employ is the baby, and in very many 
cases they need no other treatment than what 
they receive from this source, and unless they 
Care of 
Nipples Care of Children 
629 
become actually disordered, no interference 
should be permitted. 
Passions and emotions are injurious to the 
milk, and consequently to the child. It is 
even believed by some that the baby inherits 
the temper or disposition of his mother or 
wet-nurse; however this may be, it is well 
known that sudden joy and grief often dis- 
order the bowels of the infant. It is a for- 
tunate thing that with mothers, usually, and 
especially with first mothers, this time of 
nursing is the happiest and most serene 
period of their existence. This cheerfulness 
of heart and serenity of mind are doubtless 
due in a great measure to a good digestion, 
for during the nursing period the stomach is 
in a sound state, and the general health is 
usually first class. 
The mother should restrict her- 
self, both in quantity and quality, 
to the food that agrees with her. While a 
good nourishing diet is required, she should 
not force herself to eat more than her appe- 
tite calls for. There is no occasion to be 
extraordinarily particular in the selection of 
food, yet, at the same time, there are certain 
The 
Mother's 
Diet 630 
Personal Help for Parente 
articles of gross and unwholesome food that 
are not desirable at any time, and especially 
not at this time Her diet should be varied, 
embracing a wide range of both the animal 
and the vegetable. 
There are some few articles that nearly 
always disagree, and should be by most nurs- 
ing women, if not all, let entirely alone. 
Among them we may mention highly salted 
beef, and, for the most part, goose and duck; 
the indigestible cove oyster should be ta- 
booed, likewise salt herrings and oil-smoth- 
ered sardines. To be sure, these dishes in 
many instances are eaten, relished and di- 
gested with no apparent ill effects; but with 
the majority of women at this time they cer- 
tainly disagree. 
Although pickles, greens and cabbage are 
frequently indulged in without apparent in- 
jury, with many they also disagree; the 
patient will therefore have to be governed by 
the effects produced in her own particular 
case. 
Experience must necessarily guide the 
mother in the selection and use of very many 
articles of food; and, as in numerous other 
matters which concern the welfare of herself Care of Children 
631 
and child, she will have to depend upon her 
stock of common sense. If, in case of debil- 
ity and depression, it is thought necessary to 
have recourse to stimulants, great care must 
be exercised, and in no instance is it really 
safe to indulge in or continue the use for any 
length of time of any kind of spirituous or 
malt liquors. 
Civilization or some other cause 
seems to have produced a very 
large number of mothers quite incapable of 
feeding the babe by the natural method. 
Fashion, ill-health, worry and hard work add 
to the number. 
The first two or three days the child re- 
quires hardly any food, very little milk is 
formed, but a thin watery fluid, called the 
"colostrum," which has a decidedly aperient 
action upon the bowels; on the second or 
third day, as the child's needs become greater, 
the flow of milk is established. 
At first the breast should be given every 
two hours, using each breast alternately; the 
interval between the meals should be grad- 
ually increased, first to two hours and a half 
and then to three hours. A longer time 
Feeding 
Infants 632 
Personal Help for Parents 
should, however, be allowed between the 
times of feeding during the night, so that the 
mother shall have several hours consecutive 
sleep. By careful management the interval 
can be extended to from four to six hours. 
Great importance should be at- 
tached to the times of feeding; 
regularity of meals should be carefully ob- 
served, and two or three hours interval al- 
ways allowed to elapse between the meals. 
It is a very common answer to receive from 
a mother, when asked the question how often 
she feeds her baby, that she does so whenever 
it cries. Unfortunately, however, babies cry 
for many other reasons than hunger: They 
may wish to explain in this way-their only 
means of communicating anything-that they 
are uncomfortable, or that they have a pin 
sticking into them, or that they have a 
stomachache. Now, in the latter case, to 
feed the child may have the most unfortunate 
effect. The pain may be due to faulty diges- 
tion, some food remaining in and irritating 
the stomach. If more food is given, it may 
for a time give relief, but the pain soon re- 
turns worse than ever, more food in the 
Time of 
Feeding Care of Children 
633 
stomach having added to the trouble already 
existing and made bad worse. The proper 
treatment would have been to delay a meal 
for a short time, so as to give the stomach a 
rest, and an opportunity to get rid of the 
cause of all the trouble. 
The right thing, then, is for a mother to 
feed her own infant, for the child's sake; it 
is well also for the mother; for those changes 
which are necessary after the birth of the 
child go on more satisfactorily while the 
mother nurses her baby. 
When, in spite of careful feeding, 
there is indigestion and fever, the 
temporary expedient of predigesting the milk 
must be tried. This is by a process of pep- 
tonizing the food by the use of pancreatin. 
That is, the food is made easier of digestion 
by the disordered stomach by being partially 
digested in advance of feeding it to the child. 
Extractum pancreatis is accompanied by full 
directions. But a still simpler method of 
temporarily changing the food is to use the 
peptogenic milk powder, under the direc- 
tions furnished with it. This powder con- 
tains, besides its food ingredients, pancreatin, 
Predigested 
Food 634 
Personal Help for Parents 
bicarbonate of soda and milk sugar. It is 
supplied by all druggists. 
What foods can be employed as 
substitutes for the mother's milk? 
Cow's milk is most similar in 
its constitution and most easily obtained, 
though not quite the same composition as the 
mother's milk. The best plan to make cow's 
milk a suitable food for infants, and one 
which is scientifically correct, is to pepton- 
ize or partially predigest the milk. 
We can not approve of the idea of pepton- 
izing (predigesting) food constantly. Nature 
should be trained to perform its own proc- 
esses by exercise, not relieved of all func- 
tions and enfeebled by purely artificial aid. 
Sterilized milk is valuable to those who 
are at a distance from the supply; it is care- 
fully purified and freed from all germs by 
the application of heat, and is supplied in 
hermetically sealed bottles. 
There are a number of patent in- 
fant foods in the market. Any of 
these may be used under certain circum- 
stances. If an infant does not do well in 
spite of every effort to feed it, resort should 
Substitutes 
for 
Mother's 
Milk 
Patent 
Foods for 
Infants Care of Children 
635 
be had to a healthy wet-nurse, stranger or 
friend, to save the life of the child. In that 
case it may recover and soon take prepared 
milk. 
A distinction should be drawn between 
infants' food and children s food. Infants' 
food should contain no starch; and children's 
food should contain starch. Mothers, be 
cautious in this matter. 
The diet of infancy, after the 
period of nursing, should consist 
principally of good bread and milk, plainly 
and palatably cooked dishes made from un- 
bolted wheat flour, apples, and nearly all 
kinds of fruit when in season. All kinds of 
animal food should be taken in the form of 
broths and soups. 
Vegetables may also be prepared in the 
form of soup, and by using for the broth 
either beef, mutton or chicken, any of the 
vegetables, such as potatoes, beans, barley, 
rice, or tomatoes, may be used singly to 
thicken it, and by being thus prepared, will 
be an agreeable variation in the dishes. 
The young child should not, of course, be 
allowed pastry; and sweet cakes, if eaten at 
Food of 
Child After 
Weaning 636 
Personal Help for Parents 
all, should be used very sparingly. Both 
mother and physician frequently have much 
difficulty in selecting the proper and most 
wholesome food for the child, as the digest- 
ive powers of children differ almost as much 
as in adult life. 
There are many diseased condi- 
tions produced by errors in the 
diet of infants, either due to the quantity of 
food being too small or too large; or from its 
being of unsuitable quality. The fault in 
quality may be that the food is too poor in 
those articles which produce bones, muscles, 
and other structures, in the fat, casein or 
sugar of milk. Or it may be due to the pres- 
ence of indigestible material-the most com- 
mon article under this head being starch. 
This is sometimes only the safety- 
valve action of the stomach, 
which rejects a portion of the milk taken 
when it is over-filled. In these cases it is 
never excessive, and does the child no harm. 
Indigestible food or sour milk, by setting up 
fermentation and irritation of the stomach, 
sometimes produces the most troublesome 
and even dangerous attacks of vomiting. 
Errors 
in Diet 
Vomiting 
in Infants Care of Children 
637 
Diarrhea is another common re- 
sult of bad feeding, and usually 
accompanies vomiting. ' Infants a few days 
old may be affected by it as the result of 
foolish fads and fancies of ignorant nurses. 
With the idea that the child's bowels must 
be "cleansed" without delay, they administer 
a mixture of butter and sugar, castor oil, or 
some other nastiness, the result of which is 
violent purging, followed by the diarrhea 
which it has set up. Again, starchy foods 
present themselves, and sour milk also, as 
causes of diarrhea. In the latter case the 
acidity of the stomach is much increased, 
fermentation set up, and the motions are gen- 
erally found to contain curds of undigested 
milk. Such a case will soon improve if the 
diet is corrected and a small quantity of 
lime-water given after each meal. The in- 
jurious food may sometimes be the milk of 
the mother, whose health has suffered, whose 
habits have been unsatisfactory, whose diet 
has consisted of something injurious to the 
child, or whose bowels have become consti- 
pated. Here the fault in the mother must 
first receive treatment, and the child's indis- 
position will soon pass off. Whatever may 
Another 
Result 638 
Personal Help for Parents 
be the cause, it should receive immediate at- 
tention, for, if neglected and allowed to run 
on for many hours, it will rapidly reduce the 
little patient to a condition of severe prostra- 
tion. 
This would probably accompany 
the vomiting and diarrhea al- 
ready considered, but the most frequent 
cause of stomachache is the presence of 
flatulence, or "wind in the bowels," a very 
common ailment of infants. The child cries 
as if in pain, has a pained expression; his 
face may have a bluish hue and the mouth 
and eyes twitch, the extremities get cold, and 
the legs are constantly drawn up to the body. 
Such symptoms would probably be much 
relieved by giving a teaspoonful of dill 
water with two of hot water, or a little cara- 
way, anise or peppermint water in the same 
dose. The next meal should be put off for 
a short time to give the stomach a rest, and 
the food carefully observed to find out any- 
thing faulty. 
This condition in an infant is al- 
most always due to some error of 
diet. In those brought up at the breast it de- 
Stomach- 
ache 
Constipa= 
tion Care of Children 
639 
pends upon a want of richness in the milk, 
which should be corrected by increasing the 
amount of fat in the mother's food. Rich 
milk, cream, oatmeal porridge and stewed 
fruit are all useful. 
In bottle-fed children, it may also be due 
to poverty of the milk, when benefit may be 
derived from adding a little cream to each 
meal, or two or three of the meals may have 
a teaspoonful of Mellin's food mixed with 
them. Cod-liver oil or salad oil sucked off 
the finger is useful for these cases. 
Much starchy food given to a young child 
is very likely to produce constipation, and if 
the treatment already recommended is not 
sufficient to correct it, some alteration must 
be made in the food. If barley water is be- 
ing given with the milk it may be replaced 
by oatmeal water. 
Teething, or first dentation, com- 
mences between the third and seventh month. 
When the teeth have all appeared, they are 
twenty in number. They are usually cut in 
pairs, occupying a period of about two years 
in their coming. 
Teething 640 
Personal Help for Parents 
Ailments of 
Teething 
Altogether teething is a natural 
process and is not alone respon- 
sible for all the illness attributed to it, never- 
theless, there is no doubt that many babies 
suffer severely while cutting their teeth. 
When the gums are red and swollen it some- 
times affords relief if they are lanced, and it 
may be well to have a doctor examine the 
baby's mouth to see if the operation is needed. 
The process of teething is occasionally as- 
sociated with digestive disturbances. The 
number of stools may increase and vomiting 
may occur. The baby may be restless and 
fretful and try continually to bite on some- 
thing. In all these cases the quantity and 
strength of the food should be reduced and 
drinking water should be offered at frequent 
intervals. No teething lotions nor medicines 
of any kind should be given for the relief of 
the pain of teething. If they do relieve it, it 
is probably because they contain opium in 
some form or other narcotic drugs. 
There is a dangerous tendency to attribute 
to teething many ailments which are due to 
other causes. The teeth begin to appear at 
about the same time that the baby is being 
weaned and new foods are being tried. Dis- Care of Children 
641 
turbances of the digestive tract are very likely 
to occur for these reasons. If the baby cuts 
his teeth in the summer, his illness may be 
due to excessive heat, to improper feeding 
or overfeeding, and to the pain of cutting 
the teeth, and it would be difficult to say 
which factor is chiefly responsible. In any 
case, careful feeding is of the utmost im- 
portance. 
The baby should not be expected to gain in 
weight during these periods of painful erup- 
tion of the teeth, but the weight may remain 
stationary for two or three weeks without 
harm. The baby should not be urged to eat 
when he has no appetite, merely for the sake 
of the desired increase in weight. After the 
disturbance has passed he will be hungry and 
will soon regain the lost ground. On the 
other hand, if the baby is coaxed to take more 
food than he wants, his digestion is sure to 
be upset, and this, added to the pain of 
teething, may result in serious illness. The 
"second summer" has gained a reputation for 
being the most critical period of the baby's 
life, but, as a matter of fact, statistics show 
that the first summer is a much more hazard- 
ous time. 642 
Personal Help for Parents 
Certain skin diseases, such as eczema, red- 
gum, etc., are frequent at this time, and are 
generally due to some irritation of the stom- 
ach and bowels. They can be cured by ap- 
propriate treatment applied to those condi- 
tions. 
Convulsions, due to disorder of 
the nervous system, sometimes oc- 
cur during teething and cause great alarm. 
They are often ushered in with slighter 
symptoms, such as squinting, twitchings, 
startings and restless sleep. When an attack 
of convulsions occurs, the child should be 
put, as quickly as possible, into a hot bath- 
temperature over 100 degrees-a plan of 
treatment which can be advised for all the 
affections of teething. The bowels should 
be opened with a teaspoonful of castor oil, 
and cold should be applied to the head. The 
doctor should be called, as he may give relief 
by the inhalation of a few drops of chloro- 
form or by lancing the gums. 
Convulsions sometimes occur in infants 
from over-feeding and from whooping cough. 
Mothers are prone to stuff their little one 
with other food, even though having at the 
Convul= 
sions of 
Infants EAST HIGH SCHOOL, CINCINNATI, 0. 
The Largest and Best-Equipped High School in America. 
643 644 
Personal Help for Parents 
same time an abundance of milk; one of the 
consequences of this is convulsions. A child 
under four months, fed exclusively on 
mother's milk, is seldom, if ever, troubled in 
this manner. Convulsions attending whoop- 
ing cough are usually a very serious matter, 
and the physician has need of all his skill to 
successfully treat them. The warm bath in 
these cases is a very important part of the 
treatment. 
This is thought by some people 
to be a panacea for all the ail- 
ments of teething, but it is only useful when 
the teeth are just through and the gums are 
swollen, hot and painful, and should not be 
practiced indiscriminately. 
The best drug to overcome and 
prevent convulsions and all nerv- 
ous symptoms is bromide of potash. Two 
and a half to three grains should be given 
every four hours mixed with a little syrup 
and water, or half a five-grain tabloid may 
be used. Rubbing the mixture onto the 
tender gums helps to relieve the child's suf- 
ferings. 
Lancing 
the Gums 
Bromide 
of Potash Care of Children 
645 
If a man had a severe attack of 
cholera morbus, dyspepsia, diar- 
rhea, constipation, colic or vomiting, would 
he not be disposed to stop eating and give 
his maltreated stomach a rest for six, ten or 
twelve hours? Something of the same kind 
must be done if a baby is taken with similar 
disorders. The inflamed or irritated stomach 
must be given time to rest and heal, instead 
of keeping up the stuffing process under the 
delusion that the child will starve. It is a 
false and silly notion that every cry means 
hunger and must be quieted by additional 
stuffing, when perhaps the cry is caused by 
the pains of surfeit. 
Whenever it is decided to withhold food 
from an infant for some hours, as a relief 
from some diseased condition, it is very im- 
portant not to forget that it can thirst as well 
as, or more than, grown people, and give a 
little water frequently. 
Rest for 
Inflamed 
Stomachs 
DISEASES PECULIAR TO CHILDHOOD 
To Examine 
the Throat 
On first looking into the mouth, 
nothing but the tongue and palate 
meeting at the back can be seen. If, how- 
ever, the tongue be pressed down at the back 646 
Personal Help for Parents 
with the handle of a spoon, a flat paper- 
knife, or handle of a tooth-brush, and the 
patient at the same time takes a deep breath, 
the throat becomes exposed to view. From 
the back of the roof of the mouth hangs the 
curtain of the soft palate with the fleshy 
mass of the uvula. On either side of the 
palate is seen the tonsils. The use of the 
tonsils still remains a mystery. They are 
bodies rounded in shape, of about the size of 
a hazel-nut, covered with the soft lining of 
the throat and have a number of small 
glands which secrete a yellowish fluid. This 
secretion forms occasionally little yellow 
patches and lumps, which may cause much 
anxiety at first sight by being mistaken for 
the membrane of diphtheria. 
In scarlet fever all the parts in 
the neighborhood of the tonsils, 
and the tonsils themselves, are swollen, red 
and sore; patches of secretion form, and 
thick mucus is smeared over them. If sore 
throat occurs with sudden illness, high tem- 
perature, quick pulse and painful swelling 
at the angle of the jaw in a child who has 
not previously had scarlet fever, strong sus- 
Scarlet 
Fever Care of Children 
647 
picions are aroused, and are very soon con- 
firmed by the appearance of the rash. 
The symptoms of diphtheria may 
be severe also, and the throat has the appear- 
ance of being covered with patches of false 
membrane. The membrane can not be re- 
moved easily, and if forcibly detached, causes 
bleeding and leaves a sore surface. 
The throat in diphtheria is not as sore or 
painful in swallowing as a simple inflamed 
throat. 
The symptoms of the simple sore 
throat of children come on suddenly, with 
fever and pain in swallowing. Tonsils are 
swollen, red and covered with thick phlegm, 
or have patches of yellow secretion. 
The child should be confined to 
bed or to his bedroom. Food 
should consist of milk, either warmed or 
iced, according to fancy of the child; beef 
tea, gruel, jelly and soft foods. Fomentations 
applied frequently to the throat, and painting 
the tonsils with glycerine and boric acid re- 
duce the inflammation. Sucking black-cur- 
rant lozenges or jelly, or sipping warm 
drinks relieves the pain. 
Diphtheria 
Sore Throat 
Treatment 
of Sore 
Throat 648 
Personal Help for Parents 
For the fever, aconite is the best remedy. 
One drop, or a tabloid of one minim of the 
tincture in a teaspoonful of water may be 
given every hour for three or four doses, 
and then at longer intervals. 
The tonsils may occasionally be 
seen of such a size as to touch 
each other and press upon the uvula and 
palate. They are hard, pale colored and 
quite free from pain. 
The expression becomes idiotic, vacant and 
heavy; the mouth is kept open, and on ac- 
count of blocking of the nostrils at the back, 
no breathing takes place through the nose; 
even when awake there is some difficulty in 
breathing, and when asleep the child snores. 
The voice is thick and indistinct, as if the 
patient were "talking through the nose." 
Usually the hearing is affected to some extent. 
Added to all these, attacks of sore throat 
are constant, this part being always affected 
whenever a cold is taken. These children 
sleep heavily and restlessly, starting in their 
sleep and dreaming, and are often troubled 
with difficulty in holding their water. As a 
result of the imperfect way in which the air 
Chronic 
Tonsilitis Care of Children 
649 
enters the lungs, they become ill-developed, 
with pigeon-breasts and stunted growth. 
At first, when the condition is 
only beginning, painting glycer- 
ole of tannic acid over the tonsils with a 
brush two or three times a day, and a course 
of cod-liver oil and steel wine or the syrup 
of the iodide of iron may produce a cure; 
but if this treatment has been persevered in 
for three months without any good results, 
no longer delay should be allowed, but the 
tonsils should be removed. This operation 
is not a painful or dangerous one. 
Adenoid growths at the back of 
the nose are a very common affec- 
tion of children. They consist in a very similar 
growth to that described as affecting the 
tonsils, and occur in the small glands at the 
back of the nose. 
The symptoms are similar to those pro- 
duced by enlarged tonsils. The passages of 
the nose are much blocked, so that air can 
not be drawn through one or both nostrils; 
the child has a chronic "cold in the head," 
with a curious pinched appearance of the 
nostrils, snores in his sleep, speaks through 
Treatment 
for 
Tonsilitis 
Adenoid 
Growth 650 
Personal Help for Parents 
his nose, and is very deaf and stupid. The 
deafness probably causes the stupidity, with 
its vacant expression and great backwardness, 
especially shown by the late period at which 
the child learns to talk. We might almost 
repeat the remarks made about the operation 
for enlarged tonsils in strongly recommend- 
ing early operation for these growths. 
Parents have in these cases a great responsi- 
bility; if they allow their natural reluctance 
to any operation upon their children to over- 
come their better judgment to comply with 
their doctor's advice, they may have to en- 
dure life-long regret and their children life- 
long inconvenience. There may be perma- 
nent deafness, great backwardness and much 
ill-health, all of which timely operation 
would have avoided. 
A cold in a child should always 
receive treatment at once. The 
symptoms are familiar to all, and depend 
upon what part is chiefly affected, whether it 
be eyes, nose, mouth, throat, air passages or 
digestive organs. 
If the cold is only slight, the 
child should be kept at home, confined to a 
Cold- 
Catarrh 
Treatment Care of Children 
651 
well warmed and ventilated room. But if it 
is at all bad and the fever high, he should 
have a hot bath and be put to bed. 
The food should be chiefly given in a 
liquid form. Milk, beef tea, arrowroot, and, 
if thirst is troublesome, lemonade (hot), bar- 
ley water and linseed tea may be used. The 
following (for one dose), solution of the 
acetate of ammonia, 10 drops, sweet spirits 
of nitre, 5 drops, syrup, 15 drops, water to 
the drachm, may be given in teaspoonful 
doses every two or three hours to a child of 
three, but smaller doses to infants. If the 
fever be high, this may be replaced by the 
tincture of aconite. This is strong medicine, 
and should be given with care. Four drops, 
or four of the one-minim tabloids, should be 
dissolved in two tablespoonfuls of water and 
flavored with a little sugar and lemon juice. 
Of this a teaspoonful may be given every 
two hours to a child of three years or over; 
half of this dose for infants. After four 
doses the intervals should be lengthened. 
False croup consists essentially of 
a convulsion or spasm, during 
which the small chink of the larynx by 
False Croup, 
or "Child= 
Crowing" 652 
Personal Help for Parents 
which all air enters the lungs becomes sud- 
denly closed. 
In the milder cases the child's 
breathing is simply accompanied with a 
crowing sound. This occurs each time the 
breath is drawn in, causes practically no in- 
convenience or pain, and disappears during 
sleep. In other cases, however, it continues 
even during sleep. In the severer forms the 
disease comes on in attacks, which occur at 
any time in the day or night, and are most 
alarming to parents and distressing to the 
little patient. The child is to all appearance 
in fair health, and without any warning sud- 
denly screws up its face as if it were going 
to cry, holds its breath so that no air can 
enter the chest, gets blue in the face and lips, 
with swelling of the face and head. Just as 
the obstruction seems as if it were sufficient 
to cause suffocation-that is, after perhaps 
ten seconds or so-the air suddenlv is drawn 
in with a rush, causing the peculiar crowing 
sound so characteristic of the disease, and 
from which it takes its name. 
The attacks of crowing are often accom- 
panied by convulsions of other parts besides 
Symptoms Care of Children 
653 
the larynx. The body generally may be af- 
fected, but a far more common symptom is 
convulsions of the hands and feet, in which 
the thumbs are turned inward across the 
palms and the toes bent down and stiff. 
Occasionally this disease occurs in the form 
of sudden attacks of difficulty of breathing, 
without any crowing sound at all, and such 
cases are often the more severe. 
In the great majority of cases the little 
patients get perfectly well; but there is un- 
doubtedly danger if the proper treatment is 
not at once adopted, and anxiety must be felt 
until the attacks of "crowing" have quite dis- 
appeared. Deaths occasionally occur, either 
during an attack or as the result of general 
convulsions setting in. 
During an attack, efforts must be 
directed to restoring the respira- 
tion as soon as possible. This may be done 
by dashing a sponge well wetted with cold 
water in the face, by patting the back, or 
giving a vigorous shake. 
To check the attacks when they are fre- 
quent, the best drills are bromide of notash 
and chloral. Of the bromide of potash, a five- 
Treatment 
of Croup 654 
Personal Help for Parents 
grain tabloid may be given two or three 
times a day dissolved in a teaspoonful of 
water; and of chloral, half a five-grain tab- 
loid in a similar way. The two drugs com- 
bined act even better; a five-grain tabloid of 
each dissolved in a little water may be given 
in two doses, making two and a half grains 
of each in a dose. 
False croup also occurs under other con- 
ditions and forms. Besides the attacks of 
difficulty of breathing, there is a noisy, hard 
cough and hoarseness. Children of two or 
three years of age are most liable to it, and 
the attacks occur more frequently at night. 
They are very alarming, but usually pass off 
as suddenly as they come on, and are seldom 
accompanied with much danger. The treat- 
ment recommended for "child-crowing" 
should be employed. 
The two preceding affections are 
what mothers refer to when they 
say their children are very subject to "croup." 
It is the curious noise, perhaps, to which this 
term is popularly given, rather than to any 
definite disease. 
The third form of croup is another name 
for acute inflammation of the larynx or laryn- 
Third Form 
of Croup Care of Children 
655 
gitis. This is quite a distinct disease from 
diphtheria. Generally it is best to treat the 
patient as if he were suffering from diph- 
theria and to carry out all the precautionary 
measures necessary in infectious disease. 
Capillary bronchitis (broncho- 
pneumonia) is a form of bronchitis which is 
of greater frequency in children than in 
adults. Its name is due to the fact that the 
inflammation chiefly affects the smallest, or 
capillary air-tubes. It may occur as a com- 
plication of an ordinary attack of bronchitis. 
The temperature may rise to 103° F. or 
more. The pulse is quick. Rigors frequently 
occur. The respiration may rise to fifty a 
minute, and the difficulty of breathing is 
usually very severe. Cough is always trouble- 
some, being continuous and distressing, with 
occasional violent paroxysms. The face be- 
comes blue, swollen and covered with a cold 
sweat, and the little patient soon passes into 
a most distressing and prostrate condition. 
All cases of bronchitis in children 
should be treated with great care, 
for negligence may lead to an attack of capil- 
lary bronchitis, with the serious symptoms 
Bronchitis 
Capillary 
Bronchitis 656 
Personal Help for Parents 
just enumerated. Bed is, undoubtedly, the 
best place. The strength should be main- 
tained by plenty of fluid nourishing food, 
and small quantities of stimulants given fre- 
quently. First use tr. aconite, five drops; tr. 
ipecac, ten drops; dissolve in half a glass of 
water, giving one teaspoonful every half 
hour to two hours. Later, then, to aid in the 
removal of the expectoration, the best drug 
is carbonate of ammonia; one of the three- 
grain tabloids may be dissolved in water and 
syrup and a little lemon juice added to the 
mixture when it is taken. For a child one 
year old, three teaspoonfuls of water should 
be added to each tabloid; while for a child 
of six or eight, one teaspoonful would be 
enough. In each case the dose would be a 
teaspoonful given every three or four hours. 
If the breathing is very hard and the child 
appears to be getting suffocated by the ac- 
cumulation of phlegm in the lungs, an 
emetic is sometimes of great use. For this 
purpose alum is recommended as the best 
drug-ten grains for a child of two years to 
thirty grains for one of ten years, with a 
teaspoonful of syrup of squills. Hot linseed 
and mustard poultices (one part of mustard Care of Children 
657 
to five of linseed) or hot fomentations should 
be applied frequently. The room should be 
well warmed and a steam kettle should be 
kept boiling so as to moisten the air of the 
room. The diet must be entirely liquid- 
milk diluted with barley water or soda water 
and a little beef tea, gradually increased as 
the child improves, and solids added with 
great care, as the digestive organs are easily 
upset after such an illness. 
Constipation is one of the most 
frequent troubles during infancy 
and childhood, and it is one which should 
never be neglected. In a healthy infant the 
bowels should naturally act two or three 
times a day, and the motions should be semi- 
solid and of a yellow or orange color. In 
constipation there may be only one action 
a day, or even in two or three days. 
It is important to bring up chil- 
dren in regular habits, so that the bowels 
may be trained to act sufficiently often and at 
suitable hours. By the administration of 
mild aperients, or better still, by attention to 
diet and other matters, regularity may be at- 
tained and much trouble avoided. 
Constipa= 
tion of 
Children 
Treatment 
V.2-18 658 
Personal Help for Parents 
If a child at the breast is affected with 
constipation, our first attention should be 
directed to the food, habits and health of the 
mother. 
If the child is being brought up on the 
bottle, the food should be altered. It may 
include too small a quantity of fat or too 
much starchy material. The fat may be in- 
creased by adding cream, half a teaspoonful 
to each bottle, or by giving a little olive oil 
or cod-liver oil twice a day. 
Mellin's food has a slightly laxative effect, 
and a teaspoonful should be added to two or 
three of the meals until the action of the 
bowels becomes satisfactory. 
In older children the diet may still be at 
fault. Pastry, salt meat and sweets should 
all be forbidden, and some of the following 
articles may be given, all of which will prove 
useful: Oatmeal porridge and treacle for 
breakfast, cooked green vegetables, stewed 
fruits, as prunes and figs, baked apples, and 
oranges. Cold morning sponging, plenty of 
outdoor exercise, and only moderate hours at 
books are the hygienic precautions necessary. 
Injections of warm water or soapy water of 
about two or three ounces, which may con- Care of Children 
659 
tain a teaspoonful or two of olive oil or one 
of castor oil; a suppository formed of a piece 
of yellow soap or an enema of half a tea- 
spoonful to double this amount of glycerine 
with a little water, are all useful and safe 
measures. Friction with the hand and olive 
oil over the abdomen in the proper direction 
-that is, upward on the right and downward 
on the left side-and a compress to the belly 
of warm water under oil-silk, give tone to 
the bowels. 
Excessive looseness of the bowels 
sometimes comes on in infancy, 
as an effort of nature to free the system of 
some unhealthy material which, if retained, 
might be productive of harm. In such cases, 
therefore, it is an unwise plan to give astrin- 
gent medicines. 
If the motions are not too frequent, not 
exceeding six or eight in twenty-four hours, 
if there is but little griping, and the child 
does not exhibit signs of pain and suffering, 
very little, if any, interference is necessary. 
If the stools become watery, frequent, 
double or more than double the natural num- 
ber, slimy green or curdled, of an offensive 
Diarrhea 
in 
Children 660 
Personal Help for Parents 
odor; if there is much pain or griping, and 
the child is fretful and restless, medicine is 
required. 
It is not, however, the best plan 
to give any astringent medicines 
for a day or two, as the purging may be 
merely the result of something obnoxious in 
the system, which is being worked off in this 
manner. 
If the baby is still at the breast, great care 
should be taken by the mother as to her diet. 
It is better not to allow the baby any arti- 
ficial food for the time. A dose of castor 
oil given early will often effect a cure, by 
assisting nature to throw off whatever un- 
healthy material there may be in the system. 
In case the diarrhea persists, medicine will 
have to be resorted to for the purpose of 
checking it. 
The following is admirably adapted to 
many cases: Castor oil, two drachms; pow- 
dered sugar and powdered gum arabic, each 
two drachms; tincture of opium, twenty-one 
drops; cinnamon water, enough to make four 
fluid ounces in all; dose for children, a tea- 
spoonful every three hours. The following 
Treatment 
for 
Diarrhea Care of Children 
661 
is successful in many cases: Bismuth and 
prepared chalk, each twenty grains; pow- 
dered opium, one-half grain; mix and divide 
into six powders; dose, one powder, to be 
repeated every three hours if necessary. The 
following prescription is a most effective 
remedy: Castor oil, one drachm; deodorized 
tincture of opium, four drops; syrup of gum 
arabic, one ounce; tincture of peppermint, 
two drops; dose, one teaspoonful every two 
hours. In the treatment of diarrhea, it is 
always advisable to be governed by the char- 
acter of the stools. 
This malady is popularly known 
as 'summer complaint," and is 
one of the most destructive of diseases of 
young children, especially in large cities, 
where sanitary conditions are not always of 
the best. Medical aid is required in this 
disease from the very commencement. Hence 
it is important that the early symptoms be 
readily recognized, in order to give the little 
patient the benefit of the best medical aid as 
soon as possible. 
Among the principal symptoms 
are diarrhea, rejection of food, vomiting, 
debility, languor and sometimes stupor. The 
Cholera 
Infantum 
Symptoms 662 
Personal Help for Parents 
stools may become bloody, with an admixture 
of blood and slime. In this case, however, 
it is more of the nature of dysentery, in itself 
a very serious disease. In the early stages of 
cholera infantum, the head may be hot, the 
abdomen swollen, and, as the disease pro- 
gresses, coldness and emaciation come on. The 
diarrhea may be copious, and the vomiting so 
persistent as to endanger life. In very grave 
cases, the head symptoms are prominent and 
endanger life in the course of a few days. 
The following are some valu- 
able prescriptions for cholera infantum: 
(1) Calomel, one grain; bicarbonate of 
soda, twelve grains; powdered ginger, eight 
grains; mix and divide into eight powders; 
dose, one powder every three or four hours. 
In the early stages, if there is much heat 
in the head, and a tendency toward stupor, 
cooling applications should be made; a cloth 
wrung out of cold water must be applied to 
the head and changed frequently, to keep 
down the temperature. 
The two principal morbid conditions to be 
treated are the diarrhea and vomiting. For 
the bowels, astringents are called for. 
Treatment Cars of Children 
663 
(2) Sulphate of copper, one grain; de- 
odorized tincture of opium, eight drops; dis- 
tilled water, four ounces; dose, teaspoonful 
every two, three of four hours. 
The following has been found very useful 
where the diarrhea was troublesome: (3) 
Paregoric and tincture of rhatany, each one 
drachm; powdered sugar and powdered gum 
arabic, each one-half drachm; water, two 
ounces; dose, a teaspoonful every two, three 
or four hours. 
A spiced poultice should be kept over the 
abdomen as long as vomiting continues. Ice 
is better adapted to quench the thirst than 
water. Small pieces may be allowed to 
slowly dissolve in the mouth, which in the 
case of quite young children should be 
pounded up in a rag and given to them in 
that way. 
The food should consist chiefly of milk 
and lime-water, arrowroot, chicken broth, 
beef broth, beef tea, and, after the first stage, 
egg-nog; together with a tonic, if the 
strength is much reduced. In fact, summer 
complaint affords an opportunity for exer- 
cising all our powers of contrivance in pre- 
paring suitable dishes for the little invalid. 664 
Personal Help for Parents 
Raw beef scraped fine, and well-made beef 
tea, are among the most strengthening articles 
of diet, and they are generally acceptable to 
the weak and sensitive stomach. 
Dysentery, or dysenteric diarrhea, 
is not an uncommon affection of 
childhood. It is sometimes a consequence 
of a neglected attack of diarrhea, or it may 
follow any of the infectious fevers. The 
difference between this affection and ordi- 
nary diarrhea is that in dysentery the bowels 
become much inflamed and even ulcerated. 
The motions, at first like ordinary diarrhea, 
after a time consist almost entirely of slime 
and blood. Vomiting, stomachache and fever 
are all present, and there is great straining at 
stool. 
The treatment requires the same 
care and limitation of food as has 
been mentioned for diarrhea; hot fomenta- 
tions should be applied to the abdomen; the 
bismuth mixture may be given. 
At the commencement of the disease, if 
there be reason to suspect the presence of 
any irritating substance in the intestines, it 
is advisable to commence treatment with the 
Dysentery 
Among 
Children 
Treatment 
of 
Dysentery Care of Children 
665 
use of some simple evacuant, like castor oil. 
The occasional administration of a laxative 
should not be neglected. If the stools be 
entirely or mainly muco-sanguineous, it 
should be employed so as to prevent accumu- 
lation of the fecal matter in the colon. The 
dose should be small, merely sufficient to 
produce fecal evacuation and repeated as re- 
quired. The laxatives commonly preferred 
are magnesia, rhubarb or castor oil. 
The following prescriptions may be em- 
ployed 
B Pulv. ipecac comp., 1 drachm; bismuth 
subnitrat, 2 drachms. 
Misce. Divide into twenty-four powders. 
Give one every two to four hours to a child 
of five years. 
Tinct. opii deodorat, 24 minims; bis- 
muth subnitrat, 2 drachms; aq. menth. pip- 
erit, 1 ounce; syr. ginger, 1 ounce. 
M. Sig. Shake bottle. Give one tea- 
spoonful every two to four hours to a child 
of five years. 
In the first stages of the inflammation, rice 
or barley water, or arrowroot, and similar 
drinks should constitute the main diet. More 
nourishing food should be given, should 666 
Personal Help for Parents 
there be a tendency to prostration, milk and 
animal broths then being allowed. In pro- 
tracted cases attended with symptoms of ex- 
haustion, a stimulant should be given. 
Incontinence of urine, or bed- 
wetting, is a most troublesome 
and not at all uncommon affection of chil- 
dren; it may occur during both day and 
night, or only at night, the latter being the 
much more frequent. 
Worms should be removed by in- 
jection, the tight skin by circum- 
cision, the stone by operation, irritating urine 
by alkaline medicine, as citrate of potash 
(ten grains two or three times a day). The 
diet should be regulated, late meals avoided, 
and the amount of drink limited, especially 
for two or three hours before going to bed. 
The child should not be allowed to sleep on 
the back, or be covered too warmly. 
Belladonna may be given as a tincture or 
in the form of tabloids; five drops may be 
given two or three times a day, the last dose 
at bedtime. If this does not bring about a 
change, it may be doubled. It should be 
given for some time, and not discontinued 
Inconti- 
nence of 
Urine 
Treatment 
for Bed= 
Wetting Carb of Children 
667 
until some days after the trouble has disap- 
peared, when the dose may be gradually 
lessened. At the same time, care should be 
taken that the child always passes his water 
the last thing before going to sleep, and that 
two or three hours after, when the nurse or 
parents go to bed, he is taken out of bed for 
the same purpose. 
The reverse condition of the fore- 
going may occur, the urine col- 
lecting in and filling the bladder. This 
causes a good deal of anxiety to the friends, 
but may usually be relieved by very simple 
measures. It may be caused by some mal- 
formation with which the child is born, by 
the presence of a stone in the bladder or an 
abscess blocking the passage, by tightness 
and unusual length of the skin, called phy- 
mosis. If the cause is evident, it must be re- 
moved; stone, malformation or phymosis re- 
quires operation, the last being cured by cir- 
cumcision. If no cause can be discovered, 
the child should be put into a hot bath, 
which, in the great maioritv of cases, brings 
about the desired result. This proving un- 
successful, a surgeon should be summoned, 
Retention 
of Urine 668 
Personal Help for Parents 
as it would then be necessary to draw off the 
water from the bladder by passing a hollow 
instrument called a catheter into it. 
Phymosis is the name given to a 
condition which is not at all uncommon in 
male children, and consists in a superabund- 
ance of skin on the penis. This is long, usu- 
ally very tight at the orifice, and can not 
be drawn back at all, or only with a good 
deal of pain and pressure. 
The orifice may be so tight as to cause 
interference in the flow of water, which is 
only passed with great straining, and may 
distend the skin before escaping; the strain- 
ing leads to the formation of a rupture or to 
"falling of the bowel." The collecting of 
urine under the skin sets up irritation, in- 
flammation and swelling of the parts, giving 
the child much pain, and may end in the 
formation of little stones in this situation or 
of inflammation of the bladder, and may in 
after life engender unhealthy habits or pro- 
duce serious disease. If the skin is drawn 
back by force, it may remain fixed in this 
position, and then produces what is called 
paraphymosis. The parts become very 
Phymosis Care of Children- 
669 
swollen, painful and inflamed, and, if the 
skin can not be replaced by gentle pressure, 
require the immediate attention of a surgeon, 
or very serious consequences may follow. 
To prevent the various troubles 
mentioned, the operation of cir- 
cumcision should be performed. It is simple, 
the good results are seen at once, and the 
child will be all the better for it in after life. 
No parent should put off the operation, if 
the unhealthy condition we are considering 
is present; any age is suitable, but the earlier 
it is done the better. Among the Jews the 
eighth day is fixed upon by their religious 
laws, and children of a few weeks old bear 
it well. 
R Olei. filicis. mas., 1 drachm; 
mucilag. acaciae, q. s. ad 1 ounce. 
M. Sig. Shake well and give a teaspoon- 
ful every hour, commencing early in the 
morning, until the whole mixture is taken. 
A large dose of castor oil should be given 
about noon or a little later, so that purgation 
will follow soon after the last dose is taken. 
If the bowels are not habitually costive, there 
is no necessity for the patient to undergo 
Circumci- 
sion 
For Tape 
Worm in 
Children 670 
Personal Help for Parents 
fasting or purgation. If they are costive, a 
saline cathartic should be given and a diet of 
milk allowed the day before administering 
the remedy. The following prescription may 
be given instead of the above: 
3 Etherial ext. male fern, 1 drachm; syr. 
tolu, 5 drachms. 
M. Sig. Large dessertspoonful in the 
morning without any food. 
In two hours after, a good dose of castor 
oil should be given. 
Treatment.-The bowels should 
be kept well opened by the use 
of castor oil or very small repeated doses of 
calomel, or one of the following prescrip- 
tions : 
3 Fluid ext. spigeliae, 2 ounces; fluid ext. 
sennae, 1 ounce. 
M. Sig. One teaspoonful three to four 
times daily to a child of five years. 
The following is one of the best: 
B Fluid ext. spigel et sennae, 2 ounces; 
santonin, 15 grains. 
M. Sig. Teaspoonful three times a day, 
for three days; skip three days and repeat 
Round 
Worms in 
Children Care of Children 
671 
The round worm resembles the common 
earth worm, and is familiar to every mother 
of a large family. 
It is probable that the round worm is not 
generally injurious to health. It may be said 
of most intestinal worms that they are not 
usually injurious to health. 
Thread worms, pin worms or seat 
worms are found principally in 
the lower part of the bowels, especially in 
the rectum and anus. In females the worm 
sometimes passes over to the vagina. Their 
presence can usually be detected without dif- 
ficulty by careful examination. 
These pin worms can usually be 
destroyed and expelled by injections of salt 
water, and the irritation of the parts may be 
soothed by applying vaseline or sweet oil. 
One of the prescriptions for the round worm 
may be used, if the salt-water injections fail. 
Rickets is a disease of children. 
Children may be born rickety, but the great 
majority of cases fall between the ages of 
one and three years. 
A symptom which is likely to attract at- 
tention more than any other is the peculiar 
Thread 
Worms or 
Pin Worms 
Treatment 
Rickets 672 
Personal Help for Parents 
softness and pliability of all the bones. They 
become bent and deformed in many ways; 
the skull is much lengthened from the front 
to the back, the forehead is high, square and 
prominent, and the head large-a condition 
which gives rise to the mistaken idea that 
the child is going to turn out a genius. 
A rickety child may grow up puny and 
stunted, and with deformed limbs and nar- 
row, delicate chest. In girls, the deformity 
produced in the bones of the pelvis may 
prove most dangerous afterwards by com- 
plicating childbirth. 
Rickety children are sometimes considered 
by their friends to give promise of great in- 
tellectual power. This is partly due, as has 
already been mentioned, to their heads being 
large and their foreheads high, and partly 
to the fact that, being weak and indisposed 
to play games with other children, they 
spend most of their time with their elders, 
listening to their conversation and picking 
up their expressions. 
The length of the disease depends upon 
the duration of its causes. When they are 
removed and suitable treatment is applied, 
the symptoms gradually disappear. Most Care of Children 
673 
cases recover, but death occurs sometimes- 
especially in infants-from some of the com- 
plications, an attack of bronchitis, diarrhea 
or convulsions rapidly carrying the child off. 
The treatment should he com- 
menced as soon as the symptoms 
of the disease are recognized; the sooner the 
better, for early treatment may prevent alto- 
gether the permanent deformity and stunted 
growth. The unhealthy conditions of the 
child's surroundings must first be removed; 
both mother and child must be well and 
properly fed, the rooms must be ventilated, 
the child must be taken out regularly in the 
open air, warmly dressed and kept thor- 
oughly clean. 
A suitable diet, of course, depends upon 
the age of the child; it must be both digest- 
ible and nutritious in every case. If the child 
is being nursed at the breast, it should be 
weaned, and put upon good cow's milk, 
broths, bread and butter and the yolk of a 
lightly boiled egg, according to its age. 
Over-suckling should at once be stopped, 
and starchy food given in all cases with great 
care, and at first in very small quantities. At 
Treatment 
for Rickets 674 
Personal Help for Parents 
about eighteen months much benefit is ob- 
tained by giving a small quantity of meat, 
well pounded up, and with all skin and 
gristle carefully removed. The meals should 
be arranged with the greatest regularity, and 
no food, cakes, sweets and the like be allowed 
during the intervals. 
Much may be expected of medical treat- 
ment aided by hygiene and diet. Cod-liver 
oil is the most important and generally used 
drug; it should be commenced at once, the 
bowels having been thoroughly unloaded of 
all undigested food. As at first some trouble 
may be found from indigestion, it should be 
given in small doses, which may be gradually 
increased as the child becomes accustomed to 
it and likes it. It may be given alone or as 
an emulsion, well mixed with some pleasant 
substance to conceal the taste, or with malt 
extract or maltine, or with steel wine. A 
dose of only ten drops may be used-at first, 
as a trial, increased to a teaspoonful and then 
to a dessertspoonful three times a day. If 
oil is passed in the stools, too much is being 
given. Although children generally come to 
look upon the oil as a treat, others can never 
become accustomed to the strong fishy taste. Care of Children 
675 
Phosphate of lime is another valuable 
agent in this disease. The syrup of iodide 
of iron will be found of great service. As 
convalescence advances, other tonics may be 
employed with benefit, such as quinine and 
the various vegetable tonics. The deform- 
ities may be prevented by not allowing the 
child to walk while the bones are still soft. 
St. Vitus' dance (chorea) is a 
peculiar nervous affection which 
is almost limited to the years of childhood; 
infants are hardly ever affected by it, or even 
children under six years of age. 
Fretfulness and impatience, pro- 
moted by slight causes, and unconscious 
movements of the hands and muscles of the 
face, are the first symptoms indicating the 
approach of chorea. Involuntary jerking 
motions of the hands and other portions of 
the body are next noticed, other muscles are 
soon involved, and in the course of a few 
days or weeks all control over the muscles 
of the face and movements of the extremities 
is lost. The action of the heart is irregular 
and tremulous; the speech is slow, thick and 
indistinct, in consequence of the muscles of 
St. Vitus' 
Dance 
Symptoms 676 
Personal Help for Parents 
the tongue and larynx becoming involved. 
In severe and long-continued cases, more or 
less impairment of the mental faculties occur. 
Fresh air and outdoor exercise, 
avoiding undue excitement, and a nutritious 
diet, are the first requirements in the treat- 
ment of chorea. A diet of milk, beef essence, 
soft-boiled eggs, clam broth and raw oysters, 
etc., should be provided. In exceptional 
cases, where the choreic movements are vio- 
lent, the patient should lie in bed. Most 
cases of chorea are associated with anaemia. 
F Liq. potass, arsenit, drachms; aquae, 
q. s. 4 ounces. 
M. Sig. Teaspoonful three times daily, 
after meals, to a child of eight to ten years. 
Absolute rest is essential. In the milder 
forms a few hours' rest in the morning and 
afternoon may be sufficient to control the 
movements, but in all other cases the patient, 
no matter what age he or she be, should be 
put to bed at once. After a few days of 
quiet and rest a decided improvement is 
noticeable. 
Absolute rest for two weeks is necessary. 
Next important to rest is a diet which is 
Treatment Carb of Children 
677 
nutritious and easily digested. It is impor- 
tant that the child should rest well at night. 
Change of scene and air, carefully man- 
aged gymnastic exercises and massage are 
all useful at the end of an attack, or in very 
chronic cases, but not in the early stages. 
Kindness and firmness must be combined in 
the management of the little patient, and she 
should be encouraged to do all she can to 
assist in her own cure. 
Scrofula, or struma, is a consti- 
tutional condition closely allied 
to, if not identical with, consumption. Con- 
sumptive parents are very liable to have 
strumous children. Children who have man- 
ifested signs of struma are prone to be at- 
tacked with disease which is distinctly of a 
tubercular nature, and the various members 
of a family are often found to suffer from 
complaints, some of which are strumous, 
while others are tubercular. 
Scrofulous children are liable to many 
diseased conditions. They have very de- 
ficient resisting power to withstand external 
influences which predispose to disease. They 
are deficient in growth and development, 
Scrofula, 
or Struma 678 
Personal Help for Parents 
and very prone to many affections produced 
by a slow form of inflammation. 
The great liability to enlarge- 
ment of the lymphatic glands is 
the first peculiarity to be considered. This 
may affect the glands all over the body, but 
those situated in the neck and under the jaw 
are most commonly involved. Disfiguring 
scars and swellings in the neck can be seen 
daily in the streets of any large town. Very 
little irritation is sufficient to cause enlarge- 
ment of the glands; eczema of the head, lice, 
a sore throat, decayed teeth, or any slight 
sore, may cause a swelling, which, gradually 
increasing, produces great deformity. After 
a time, matter forms slowly in the swelling, 
works its way by degrees to the surface, 
breaks through the skin, and produces an 
ugly discharging sore, which only heals with 
great difficulty, and leaves behind a mark 
which lasts a lifetime. The swellings are 
seldom painful or acutely inflamed, and do 
not cause much inconvenience, except from 
their size. The constant discharge, however, 
reduces the strength. 
Lymphatic 
Glands Care of Children 
679 
The Eyes 
Are Often 
Inflamed 
The edges of the lids get sore and 
red, a thick discharge collects, 
especially at night, sticking the lids so closely 
together that they can only be separated with 
difficulty when the child awakes. Little 
sores may occur on the eyes themselves, 
which leave behind white patches often suf- 
ficient to cause great disfigurement and inter- 
fere with the sight. 
Eczema of the head and other 
parts is common; chronic enlargement and 
disease of the joints, especially the knees and 
hips, discharges from the nose and ear, and 
enlargement of the tonsils, are all manifesta- 
tions of the same affection. 
All sources of irritation, however 
slight they appear, must be removed as soon 
as possible, so that the enlargement of glands 
which they produce shall be avoided; and 
the following general directions for health 
and diet must be carried out. 
The diet should be liberal and nourishing, 
and should contain abundance of the fatty 
foods, meat, fresh eggs, milk and cream. 
Of drugs, the best are cod-liver oil, maltine 
and malt extracts, syrup of the iodide of iron, 
Eczema 
Treatment 680 
Personal Help for Parents 
and they should be continued for a long time, 
ringing the changes-cod-liver oil in the 
winter, maltine and iron in the summer, or 
any of them taken in combination with cod- 
liver oil. 
Iodide of potash, five grains, three times a 
day, when the result of syphilis. Tincture of 
iodine painted on the glands, when they are 
swollen and enlarged. Cod-liver oil in this 
disease is a remedy and a nourishment. The 
best preparation is Scott's emulsion, contain- 
ing fifty per cent, of cod-liver oil with the 
hypophosphate of lime and soda. It is pal- 
atable, and contains the remedies that act 
against the disease. 
Notice to Parents.-Separate volumes have been prepared 
to help boys and girls to understand the relations of sex life 
to their mental, moral and physical well-being, while em- 
phasizing the value of legitimate sports, recreation, games and 
other diversions, essential to character building and develop- 
ment of proper ideals. "Personal Help for Boys" was designed 
to be placed in the hands of boys fourteen years of age or 
younger; "Personal Help for Girls" for same age; "Personal 
Help for Young Men" is a splendid gift volume for boys of 
fifteen years of age and over, and "Personal Help for Young 
Women" for same age. These four separate volumes contain 
over 300 pages each, are uniformly bound as gift editions in 
beautiful cloth, and sell at only $3.00 each. Order from the 
publishers. 
The S. A. Mullikin Co. 
Cincinnati, Ohio. CHAPTER XL 
By Charles W. Eliot 
President Emeritus of Harvard University 
INSTRUCTION IN HYGIENE 
In order to make head against the horrible 
evils which accompany men's profligacy and 
women's prostitution, and to prevent the moral 
and physical disasters which result from young 
men's and young women's ignorance about the 
natural processes of reproduction in the hu- 
man species and about the laws of health in 
those processes, it is indispensable that sys- 
tematic instruction should be given to all 
young children and young people in the proc- 
esses of reproduction and growth in plants 
and animals, in the general rules of hygiene, 
in the natural, wholesome processes of repro- 
duction in the human species, and at last in the 
diseases and social disorders which follow vio- 
lations of nature's laws concerning the rela- 
tions of the sexes. The bitter experience of 
the Christian world in regard to the venereal 
diseases and their consequences demonstrated 
this proposition. 
681 682 
Personal Help for Parents 
Policy of 
Silence a 
Failure 
Wherever anyone undertakes to 
discuss this subject in public, he is 
met by two adverse opinions which are firmly 
held by multitudes of well-meaning people. 
The first is the opinion that these are unclean 
subjects, about which the less said the better. 
This is the policy of silence concerning all 
sexual relations and processes, natural or un- 
natural, rightful or sinful, which has pre- 
vailed for centuries in both barbarous and 
civilized countries. There is but one thing 
to be said about this policy of silence, namely, 
that it has failed, everywhere and always. It 
has not prevented the spread and increase of 
sexual wrong-doing and of the horrible re- 
sultant diseases, degradations, and destruc- 
tions. For the prevention and eradication of 
any great social or governmental wrong, pub- 
licity, discussion, and the awakening of a 
righteous public sentiment in the great mass 
of the people concerned have always been, 
and always must be, necessary. 
The second adverse opinion is that 
the necessary instruction on these 
subjects should be given to children and young 
persons by their parents and by them alone. 
This opinion is sound to this extent, that in 
Parents as 
Instructors Instruction in Hygiene 
683 
cultivated and refined families, in which the 
parents possess sufficient knowledge of the 
whole subject, the needed instruction will best 
come to the children through the mother and 
the father, beginning at a tender age. All 
children ask questions on this subject. Their 
curiosity is roused early, and is usually very 
pointedly expressed. The asking of questions 
should invariably be the mother's precious 
opportunity to describe to the child, with 
delicacy and reserve, but truthfully, the 
mother's part in the production of the human 
infant. By so doing, the mother will estab- 
lish a new bond between herself and child, 
and will acquire a strong claim on its abiding 
affection. Every father competent for the 
task should see that his boys understand the 
natural and wholesome process of reproduc- 
tion, and the great physical dangers which 
accompany violations of the moral law in this 
respect. He should see that they know that 
continence is absolutely healthy, and, indeed, 
is indispensable to the highest attainment in 
bodily strength and endurance. He should 
make sure that his boys understand what honor 
requires of a man in his relation to women, 
and that chastity is just as admirable and 684 
Personal Help for Parents 
feasible in a man as in a woman, and just as 
necessary for the protection of family life and 
the eradication of the very worst evils which 
now degrade and poison civilized society. It 
is quite true that all this instruction will come 
best, whenever possible, from loving fathers 
and mothers to their own offspring; because 
it will then be given intimately, privately, and 
with tenderness and purity. 
Inasmuch, however, as the great majority 
of parents do not now possess the necessary 
knowledge, or the faculty of expression neces- 
sary for imparting it, and there are many 
families that have lost father, mother, or both, 
society must for the present rely in the main 
on the schools to give this instruction, which 
is, indeed, indispensable for the salvation of 
civilization. 
It is, however, a very serious prob- 
lem, how to give the needed in- 
struction in sex hygiene in all the 
schools, public, private, and endowed. No 
one is competent to-day to lay down a fixed 
and final program. The programs for this 
subject must be experimental or tentative for 
many years to come. All that can be done 
at present is to indicate the general lines of 
Instruction 
Outside of 
the Home 
Problem= 
atical Instruction in Hygiene 
685 
the promising experiments on this difficult 
subject. Innumerable experimenters must in 
time work out the details with insight, pa- 
tience, and skill. The general lines may, how- 
ever, be laid down with a reasonable degree 
of confidence. They are as follows: 
1. It is through the ample and prolonged 
teaching of natural history that the necessary 
knowledge is to be conveyed to the children, 
beginning at tender years with the teaching 
of botany, and going on to the elements of 
zoology, both subjects being taught in the most 
concrete manner possible with incessant illus- 
trations indoors and out-of-doors, not during 
the whole school year, but at those seasons 
when adequate illustrations and demonstra- 
tions are most feasible and convenient. This 
instruction should be associated in all schools 
with the teaching of pure and applied geog- 
raphy, and in rural schools with the teaching 
of agriculture. 
2. Throughout this long course of natural 
history instruction demonstrations of the vari- 
ous modes of transmitting life should fre- 
quently occur, the transmission of life being 
the highest and ultimate bodily function of 
every plant and every animal, including man. 
There is a great body of fresh knowledge on 686 
Personal Help for Parents 
this subject waiting to be given to children 
and youth,.all of it capable of demonstration 
through the senses, aided or unaided, and all 
supplying admirable training for eye and 
hand. Thus, all the various processes of re- 
producing plant-life by the division of a cell, 
by the creation of new independent cells, by 
the shooting or rooting of some part of a plant 
to create an independent plant, as by bulbs, 
tubers, or even parts of a stalk or leaf, by the 
union of two cells, or the fertilization of one 
cell by another cell,-all these processes can 
be made intensely interesting to a child; and 
such instruction can be spread through several 
years of appropriate seasons without ever 
leaving the vegetable kingdom. In flowering 
plants the fertilization of the embryo-sac by 
pollen may be illustrated in operations which 
the children themselves can perform. The 
carrying of pollen from one flower to another 
by insects or by the wind emphasizes the gen- 
eral fact that plants are fixed while animals 
have motion. The bi-sexual structure of 
plants is in itself a fascinating subject of study 
for children and youths; and through it all 
runs the thought that Nature provides elab- 
orately and beautifully for the precious trans- 
mission of life. In later years of the school Instruction in Hygiene 
687 
course the diverse methods of reproduction 
in animals will afford a long course of instruc- 
tion, involving the structure and function of 
many different sorts of animals, and of many 
different kinds of reproductive organs. The 
innumerable devices for effecting fecundation 
and for feeding the embryo, and the various 
arrangements for feeding the young and bring- 
ing up families, afford an endless variety of 
interesting subjects for observation and dis- 
cussion. The nesting habits of birds and their 
care of offspring are highly instructive and 
easy to exhibit. Here again the main object 
of study should be infinite variety and elabora- 
tion of nature's processes for the transmission 
of life. These subjects, if properly taught 
with collecting box, scalpel, microscope, and 
paper and pencil, are just as pure and innocent 
for children under thirteen as chemistry and 
physics are. There is nothing sensual or un- 
clean about them, nothing which does not tell 
of order, purpose, inventiveness, adaptation, 
co-operation, and achievement. Through 
much of the botanical instruction and more 
of the zoological runs the thought that the 
transmission of life requires two individuals 
of different quality. Children should be made 688 
Personal Help for Parents 
thoroughly acquainted with this principle be- 
fore any sexual emotions begin to stir in them. 
If strong foundations have been 
laid through these botanical and 
zoological studies before the age 
of puberty, it will not be difficult to take up 
in secondary schools the study of the normal 
functions of the human body in health, of the 
perturbations caused by some of the common 
diseases, of the sources or causes of disease, 
including the recognized contagious and the 
modes of infection, of the means of resisting 
disease and producing immunity, and finally 
of the functions of government in regard to 
preventive medicine and the means of pro- 
moting the public health. 
Among the contagions which ought to be 
described and illustrated should be included 
the contagious syphilis and gonorrhea, from 
which proceed some of the most horrible evils 
which afflict modern society, evils not fully 
known except to physicians, and by many 
ordinary people, particularly women, quite 
unsuspected. All young men and women 
should be well informed on these subjects be- 
fore they leave their secondary schools; but 
from the time of entrance to secondary schools 
Avoid 
Venereal 
Diseases by 
Frankness Instruction in Hygiene 
689 
all such instruction should be given separately 
to girls by women and to boys by men. 
Since the great majority of American chil- 
dren never enter the secondary schools, the 
general rules concerning cleanliness, diet, 
fresh air, and the elementary facts on sex hy- 
giene should be stated concisely and frankly 
to all children just before they reach the age- 
limit of compulsory education. 
All schools should teach explicitly 
in due season those elements of 
good manners and customs which 
have to do with health and the preservations 
of bodily and mental purity. They should 
teach habitual cleanliness of the body and 
particularly of the hands and face, point out 
the importance of this cleanliness as regards 
clothes, furniture and utensils, and the reasons 
for keeping the dwelling free from dust, dirt, 
insects and vermin. They should show the 
reasons for avoiding contact with, or close 
approach to, persons who are unclean or who 
are suffering from colds, sores, coughs, fevers, 
or any other illness. They should point out 
the dangers of losing self-control through the 
use, even the rare use, of alcohol or of drugs 
which take strong effect on the nervous sys- 
Schools 
Should 
Teach 
Cleanliness Dr. Chas. W. Eliot 
President Emeritus, Harvard University 
690 Instruction in Hygiene 
691 
tem. They should discountenance rough or 
boisterous play between boys and girls or 
young men and young women, and teach each 
sex to avoid, in general, bodily contact with 
persons of the opposite sex. Delicacy and re- 
serve are parts of good manners; but they are 
also highly protective qualities. On the other 
hand, a coarse familiarity between the sexes 
is not only bad manners, but a real provoca- 
tion to wrong-doing, particularly when it is 
accompanied by an ignorance which leaves 
young people without protection against the 
love of excitement and reckless adventure. 
All these are elements of good manners and 
right habits which should be universally 
taught in the schools of a democracy to pro- 
mote morality as well as courtesy. Some of 
them, but rarely all, are taught in many good 
homes, but for the great mass of the people 
the public schools inculcate them by direct 
teaching, and by the indirect influence of good 
example. To a high degree, good manners 
spring from and express morals. Such in- 
struction would naturally be associated with 
the teaching of natural history and general 
hygiene. 
Finally, all young people should have been 
taught in home, school and Sunday school, 692 
Personal Help for Parents 
before they are liable to fall into sexual sins, 
that chastity in men is just as necessary as 
chastity in women for the security, honor and 
happiness of family life, that continence is 
absolutely healthy for both sexes, that men's 
profligacy is the cause or source of women's 
prostitution with all its awful consequences to 
the guilty parties and to the innocent human 
beings who are infected by the guilty, and 
that the most precious joys and most durable 
satisfactions of life are put at fearful risk by 
sexual immorality. Does anyone protest that 
this educational process will abolish innocence 
in young manhood and womanhood, and make 
matter of common talk the tenderest and most 
intimate concerns in human life, let him con- 
sider that virtue, not innocence, is manifestly 
God's object and end for humanity, and that 
the only alternative for education in sex hy- 
giene is the prolongation of the present awful 
wrongs and woes in the very vitals of civiliza- 
tion.-[Journal of Education. Read before 
the American School Hygiene Association, 
New York City.] FOURTH DIVISION 
Parents' Heart to Heart Talks to Boys 
and Girls 
693 Copyright by Underwood & Underwood. 
AN IDEAL BOY 
694 CHAPTER XLI 
FATHERS TALKS TO BOYS 
BOYS MAKE MEN 
Only 
Material 
for Making 
Men 
Boys make men! That is the kind 
of material which has been in use 
for six thousand years; the only 
material we have on hand out of which to 
make the next supply; and it looks as if we 
shall have to use the same old kind for gener- 
ations to come. Nature and God have found 
nothing better for the making of men. Since 
they are so much older, wiser, and have been 
at the job so long, it looks as if we should be 
satisfied with their methods. Besides, we ap- 
pear to be no exception to the rule found in 
the plants and the animals all around us. 
From the study of nature, we learn 
that trees are grown-up sprouts; 
dogs grown-up pups; horses grown-up colts; 
and men are grown-up boys. Nature seems to 
work in much the same way all along the line. 
Nature also teaches us that a 
crooked, twisted, scarred sprout 
will grow up to be an ugly, useless tree; that 
Men Are 
Grown=Up 
Boys 
Must 
Train 
Himself 
695 696 
Personal Help for Boys 
a starved, neglected and abused pup will grow 
up to be a mangy, cowardly, or vicious dog; 
that a spoiled, mistreated colt will make a 
bad and ugly horse; and that the same prin- 
ciples are true of a boy. If he is not trained 
to work, study, and be moral, he likely will 
grow up to be a lazy, stupid and wicked man. 
Thus we find that nature has but one method, 
whether dealing with sprouts, pups, colts or 
boys. If they do not live in harmony with 
her laws and the other laws of God, they get 
spoiled in the making. 
Again, nature proves to us fhat to 
produce a perfect tree, one that is 
straight and shapely, which affords perfect 
shade or bears large, luscious fruits, we must 
give it proper care and training, when young; 
that in order to develop a large, handsome, 
brave and true dog, we must give him proper 
care and attention, when young; that if we 
would have a perfect horse, with elastic bear- 
ing, beautiful form, gentle in disposition, well 
gaited, a fast traveler, we must feed, groom 
and train him well, when young. 
Nature makes no exception of the 
boy and man. If a boy would be- 
come an ideal man, he must be willing to be 
Parents the 
Natural 
Teachers 
Boys 
Ask 
Questions Boys Make Men 
697 
carefully trained and taught. A large part 
of this he can and must do for himself; but 
he needs to get a true idea of what it takes to 
make an ideal man and have the desire and 
purpose to live a life that will enable him to 
reach high ideals and give great service to the 
world. To attain ideal manhood he must 
willingly submit to be trained and taught by 
those who are older, wiser and have had 
larger experience than himself. 
Very early in life boys begin to 
ask questions. This is because their 
minds are developing and is one of the best 
ways of learning things they want to know 
and should know. Very early in life boys 
become interested in the origin of things. 
They ask where the rain comes from, why 
does the sun shine, who makes the clouds and 
where the snow comes from. Sometimes they 
ask much more difficult questions than these 
and wonder why their parents can not an- 
swer them. They also ask very serious and 
embarrassing questions, and at times quite 
silly ones. As a rule, the boy is honest, sincere 
and deserves to be treated kindly. When 
about four years old, he becomes interested in 
kittens, calves, colts or other animals around 
May Be 
Spoiled in 
the Making 698 
Personal Help for Boys 
him, and naturally wonders where they come 
from. Later he begins to wonder where he 
came from. These questions are as pure and 
intelligent as any boy could ask. It means 
that his mind is rapidly developing and that 
he is beginning to think for himself. It is 
very important that his questions be answered 
truthfully and intelligently. 
Like all other boys, you have be- 
come interested in the origin of 
plants and the coming of animals and human 
beings into this world. Like many boys, you 
may have been told by, or have asked sinful 
and ignorant boys and men about your birth. 
If so, you likely received only half truths. In 
the stories of life that follow, the author has 
sought to give the purest truth, and to correct 
any evil that may have come to you from 
wrong sources. One of the most delicate, 
pure and sacred bits of knowledge that can 
come to any boy is in the true stories of life, 
such as the author has designed to give. 
Someone has said, "A dead fish 
can float down stream; but it takes 
a live one to swim up stream." Any kind of 
a boy can float down the stream of life, have 
what he calls a good time, destroy his body, 
Training 
Must Begin 
While Young 
Which 
Course Will 
You Choose? Boys Make Men 
699 
debauch his mind, become a victim of disease, 
die and never be missed. It takes a boy with 
a strong, healthy body, a sound mind, a pure 
heart, a clean life, a brave determination and 
a faithful spirit to become an ideal man. VIGOROUS YOUTH 
700 CHAPTER XLII 
STRONG BOYS MAKE STRONG MEN 
A change begins to take place in 
every boy when he is from twelve 
to fifteen, and continues for about ten years. 
This is when he begins to change from boy- 
hood to manhood, and is called adolescence. 
It is brought about by the maturing of the 
important organs, the father parts, that cor- 
respond to the same parts in the flowers or 
the animals. The most important time dur- 
ing this change is the first three years, and is 
called puberty. Powers are then developing 
that are new to him. He does not under- 
stand them. No boy can pass through this 
period safely without the instruction of a wise 
father, mother or teacher, and he must have 
access to good books. If a boy receives good 
advice and follows it during these three years, 
there is little danger of his making mistakes 
or going wrong. 
Up to puberty, the organs we 
called the father parts are said to 
be inactive. This is not speaking accurately, 
The 
Changing 
Boy 
A Source of 
Power 
701 702 
Personal Help for Boys 
although not until now have they begun to 
form a fluid called semen, which corresponds 
in man to the pollen in flowers and the milt in 
fishes. But we know that the glands, or 
father parts, have been producing a kind of 
energy that is of value to the boy and the 
future man. If two boys were made eunuchs, 
that is, had their glands cut out, one boy 
when he was a few days old, and the other 
when puberty came, the second boy would be 
in many respects superior to the first, when 
they reached the age of twenty-five. This 
would be due to the glands in the second boy 
having produced a vital energy before pu- 
berty. The presence of the semen formed by 
the glands after puberty produces a gradual 
growth of every organ of the body and fac- 
ulty of the mind. It is most important that 
during this period boys develop high ideals 
and mental and moral cleanness. 
There are certain climates and 
conditions that hasten or retard 
the approach of puberty. In very hot cli- 
mates, it appears in a boy much earlier than 
in cold climates. This is why: in hot cli- 
mates people are not as strong and do not live 
as long as they do in colder climates. The 
Climates 
and 
Conditions Strong Boys Make Strong Men 
703 
earlier puberty comes, the sooner the life 
wears out. Vulgar language, indecent stories, 
impure thoughts and the cigarette habit will 
hasten the approach of puberty. These bad 
habits lead to the formation of semen before 
the body of the boy is prepared to use it. 
The process by which this new 
life, this vital force, the semen, 
changes a vigorous, strong boy into an ener- 
getic, well-developed man, can readily be 
understood by you. The value of this energy, 
and its effects upon boys and men, can be 
illustrated in several ways. If two brother 
colts are raised together, under the same con- 
ditions, and with good care, they should de- 
velop into horses of about the same strength 
and size; but if the testicles, which generate 
the semen, are removed from one while he is 
quite young, he will not grow as large as the 
other. Removing the testicles is called cas- 
trating. A castrated horse is called a gelding. 
The one that is permitted to grow naturally 
is called a stallion. He has a high-arched 
neck, dilating nostrils, sparkling eyes, a heavy, 
thick mane and tail, broad, deep hip and 
chest muscles, and a prancing and elastic 
movement. He attracts the attention and ad- 
The Source 
of Power 704 
Personal Help for Boys 
miration of all who see him. It takes a strong 
man to control him, sometimes two men. If 
this horse is turned into a field with a hun- 
dred geldings, he will be the leader and ruler 
of every one. The only difference between 
these horses is that the weaker one had his 
testicles removed and could not generate crea- 
tive life. He grew up with a short, thin 
mane, slender neck, smaller muscles and less 
energy. Energy was generated in the stal- 
lion, retained and used in his body, and gave 
him perfect development, an elastic bearing, 
fiery eyes, strong muscles, and filled his body 
with vitality. 
The same thing is seen in study- 
ing chickens. Two full brother 
chickens, hatched the same day, may be placed 
in the same pen, given the same food, water, 
shelter and care. When they are grown, they 
would be very much alike. But suppose that 
when they are only a few days old, we capon- 
ize one; that is, we remove his glands. After 
they are grown, the natural bird will have a 
large, red comb, ear lobes and wattles; long, 
glossy, beautiful neck and tail feathers; and 
a strong, sharp spur on each leg. The capon- 
ized male bird will not have developed these 
attractive physical characteristics. He will 
Illustration 
in Fowl 
Life Strong Boys Make Strong Men 
705 
resemble a non-laying hen or pullet. If food 
be scarce, the natural bird will scratch for 
worms, run down grasshoppers and catch in- 
sects, while the other one, having less energy 
and less vitality, will starve. If an old hen 
and her brood of chicks are near and you 
throw them food, a still greater and more in- 
teresting difference will be seen. The natural 
bird will step proudly forward, pick up a bit 
of the food with his beak, drop it down and 
cluck to them to come up and eat it. This he 
will continue to do until they are satisfied. 
If there has not been enough for all, he goes 
in search of a meal of bugs and worms and 
grasses. He divides these with them, even if 
he has to go hungry. How about the capon- 
ized bird? As a fat, lubbering mass, if he 
sees food thrown down, lazily he walks for- 
ward and gulps it down, without offering a 
bit to the hen and chicks. If a hawk or owl 
comes, the capon will sneak under the floor, 
while the other bird will fight the enemy and 
stand guard, as the hen and her brood find 
shelter and protection. 
Many years ago in some countries, 
it was a custom to have slaves. 
When the boys to be used as slaves were quite 
Illustration 
in Boy Life 706 
Personal Help for Boys 
young, their testicles were removed. These 
boys were called eunuchs. They were differ- 
ent from other boys and men when grown. 
Only a few scattering short hairs grew on 
their faces, the vocal organs did not develop 
sufficiently to produce a manly voice, and 
their shoulders never became broad and 
square, with a good growth of muscles. Nor 
were they ever sent to the battlefield as sol- 
diers. They were cowards, who would run 
from the enemy. They did not care to own 
property, be at the head of a business or to 
get an education. Compare these men with 
any manly man you may know. This energy 
gives to him his heavy coat of hair, square 
shoulders, manly voice, keen and alert mind, 
snap, vim, push and enterprise, courage and 
attractive manliness. 
It is very rare now for this opera- 
tion to be performed on a boy. 
Yet we often see young men who are dull, 
stupid, lifeless, lazy, stunted in growth and 
weak in body, because this energy has been 
wasted from the body by impure thinking, 
vulgar conversation and bad habits. The 
illustrations given show that the sexual power 
strengthens and develops every organ of the 
Effects of 
Impure Life Strong Boys Make Strong Men 
707 
body, faculty of the mind, and power of the 
soul. To have a strong, healthy and vigorous 
body, therefore, this sex-power must be re- 
tained, and by exercise some of it built into 
the muscles. To have a keen, active mind, a 
part of it must be called to the brain by keep- 
ing the mind busy. To build a great char- 
acter, a portion of it must be directed to the 
moral nature by right moral living. CHAPTER XLIII 
WEAK BOYS MAKE WEAK MEN 
Scar 
Always 
Remains 
If a living sprout is not trained to 
grow straight before it becomes a 
tree, it never can entirely overcome the de- 
fect. If the fiber has been injured while it 
was growing into a young tree, Mother Na- 
ture may heal the wound, but the scar will re- 
main to tell the story of weakness in the tree. 
An experiment with a grape vine 
will illustrate this thought. In 
the.spring the sap of the vine rises from the 
roots, flows through the trunk and branches 
to every bursting bud and cluster of blooms. 
If a notch is cut in the vine a few feet from 
the ground, the sap will flow freely. If the 
vine is permitted to lose this fluid for a few 
weeks, the leaves will not reach full size, the 
clusters of blooms will fall off and no grapes 
appear. The vine, indeed, will live a much 
shorter time than it would have done had it 
not been robbed of that fluid, its life. 
Robbing 
Vine of 
Its Life 
708 Weak Boys Make Weak Men 
709 
The maple or sugar tree has a cir- 
culating life fluid that may be 
drained from it in many gallons, if the tree 
is tapped, but a tree from which it is taken 
will have a shorter life than one of the same 
variety that is never tapped. 
In studying animal life, we find 
that in their natural state, without 
exception, they are physically perfect, because 
they have lived in harmony with nature's laws 
governing their sex natures. Quite a major- 
ity of our domestic animals also are equally 
healthy. The lower animals do not violate 
the laws of sex by wasting their sexual power. 
The same thing is true of boys. 
There are many ways in which a 
boy may injure himself physically, mentally 
and morally. If the mind is kept pure and 
no bad habits are formed, the secretion and 
use of this vital power by the body will 
change a healthy boy into a strong man. 
In insane asylums, we find many 
inmates whose faces show no indi- 
cation of intelligence. A large majority of 
these unfortunates were born of parents who 
had violated the laws we have been studying. 
Sapping 
the Tree 
Lesson in 
Animal 
Life 
Vital Power 
Builds 
Strong Men 
Waste of 
This Power 
Wrecks Life 710 
Personal Help for Boys 
Many of these inmates, also, are personally 
guilty of bad habits. 
In penitentiaries, we find many criminals 
who are moral degenerates, because of having 
wasted this life fluid from their bodies. Now 
they are mental and moral wrecks. 
In this book, the term "bad habit" 
has been used. The act, which has 
been termed "bad habit," consists in handling 
the sexual organs in such a way as to excite 
them. This causes a severe nerve strain that 
injures the boy. The worst thing about this 
is that the injury is not felt at once and does 
not show immediately, and sometimes it takes 
quite a while before the boy realizes he has 
been hurting himself. It produces all of the 
effects that castrating produces in the animals 
or in man; the boy gradually loses his energy, 
his strength, the brightness of his mind, and 
his ability to have fun in games and in other 
ways. When he grows older, the vital fluid 
escapes from him and the effect on him is 
similar to the effect on a vine or tree when 
the sap is drawn off by tapping it. The eyes 
of the boy which once glowed with luster and 
sparkled with brilliancy, will grow dull; the 
cheeks once ruddy with the bloom of health, 
The Secret 
Sin Weak Boys Make Weak Men 
711 
will become pale; the muscles once hard and 
elastic, become soft and flabby; the mind once 
keen and alert, will become dull and stupid; 
the elastic bearing and the forward tread, will 
be changed into a languid walk or a swagger- 
ing pose; the manly habits of obedience and 
reading good books will be changed into dis- 
obedience, the reading of bad books or none, 
going to places of questionable amusements, 
keeping bad company and doing wrong. The 
wasting of the sex-life has weakened the boy 
and wrecked the making of a man. 
We call this "bad habit" the "se- 
cret sin," because it is practiced in 
secret. We call it "self-pollution," because 
it pollutes your real self, your soul. We call 
it "self-abuse," because it abuses every organ 
of the body, and every part of the mind and 
soul. We call it "masturbation," because it 
is the act of the hand, that produces the in- 
jury. 
The boy, who practices this vice, 
does not dream of the dreadful re- 
sults that may come from the habit. No live 
boy with an ambition to become a man, to do 
things worth while, and live a life in which 
Explanation 
of Terms 
Do Not 
Understand 712 
Personal Help for Boys 
he will be honored, respected and admired, 
would for a minute practice this vice. 
The poor, ignorant boys who in- 
dulge in it do not know that it will injure 
them. They are to be pitied and need to be 
helped by wise counsel and good companion- 
ship. Every one of them needs a friend who 
is wise and strong, to take them aside, one 
by one, and, in a friendly talk, explain to 
them the dangers that they face. Sometime 
you may have an opportunity to help a boy 
who is ignorant of these things, and so needs 
information that has not been given to him. 
If you instruct him you will be doing a good 
deed. This vice is sometimes practiced by 
boys five and six years old. They may have 
got the habit by scratching the penis. If the 
loose skin at the end of the penis, called the 
prepuce or foreskin, is long and tight, so that 
it extends beyond the head of the penis, it 
causes the penis to itch. This leads the boy 
to scratch and handle the penis, which may 
bring on the habit. The itching is caused by 
a cheesy substance called smegma, that col- 
lects under the skin, which should be removed 
by pulling the skin back and washing the 
penis with a soft cloth once a day. The penis 
Need Help Weak Boys Make Weak Men 
713 
should never be handled except for washing 
it. If the skin can not be pulled back a boy 
should tell his mother or father, so that the 
doctor can loosen it for him. 
Jewish boys when eight days old 
are circumcised. This consists of cutting off 
that portion of the foreskin which extends 
beyond the head of the penis. Other nation- 
alities also perform this operation on their 
boys. If the boy is only a few days old almost 
no pain is felt. When it is necessary to cir- 
cumcise an older boy, the doctor gives him 
chloroform so that no pain at all is felt. Cir- 
cumcision causes less smegma to collect and 
makes it easier to keep the penis clean. This 
is one reason why the Jews are a healthy peo- 
ple, and develop well and live long. 
Some boys are taught self-abuse by other 
boys or evil men. As they grow older, they 
begin to suspect that the habit is wrong. 
Many boys have grit and courage enough to 
quit it then. If they do, nature gradually re- 
pairs the injury. Weak-willed boys do not 
put forth the necessary effort to break fiom 
the habit, and go recklessly on to ruin. If it 
is left off promptly, and this sex-power is kept 
for the body's growth, the boy will very likely 
Circumcision 714 
Personal Help for Boys 
make the growth and development which 
would have been his had he not committed 
this sin against himself. If it is continued, it 
becomes very much harder to break off, it 
takes nature much longer to overcome its in- 
juries, and he will never be quite the man he 
would have been had he not practiced it. The 
boy who is so weak as to continue practicing 
this habit, shortens his life and destroys, to a 
large extent, his usefulness in the world, while 
many go to an early grave or the asylum, 
victims of the vice. 
The manner of the boy often will 
advertise him as one who prac- 
tices this vice. He becomes unable to look 
people squarely in the face. His eyes fall 
and his face takes on a guilty look; he be- 
comes irritable and cross and easily falls into 
fits of anger. He avoids the company of pure 
people, and seeks the company of boys of a 
lower moral tone. He may think that he can 
get along without reading good books and 
going to church and Sunday school. He is 
the victim of ignorance and might have been 
the best kind of boy had he received the 
knowledge he needed, given in a friendly 
way. 
Manner of 
Boy Shows 
Guilt Weak Boys Make Weak Men 
715 
We have another class of boys who 
practice the secret sin. They are 
rather modest and retiring, and are shocked 
at the use of immodest language; they are 
very sensitive; stay much alone; are easily 
embarrassed; sometimes suspect that people 
know of their guilt; and often are gloomy, 
despondent and discouraged. The habit fas- 
tens itself more firmly on such a boy and he 
becomes a nervous wreck. This state of mind 
also interferes with his studies. After a time 
he will find that he is falling below the aver- 
age in his classes; that he does not remember 
things as he should; that his mind does not 
solve problems and master difficulties as it 
once did. If the sin is not broken off, he has 
no possible chance of success. 
Many of the young men who die 
of consumption, between the ages 
of eighteen and twenty-five, have 
been victims of this sin, and other sicknesses 
may be traced to the same cause. 
The practice of this habit, when 
continued, produces various pain- 
ful troubles in later years. Painful, swollen 
veins are a very common result of this sin and 
sometimes occur when a boy is not older than 
Becomes 
Nervous 
Wreck 
Causes 
Early 
Death in 
Some Cases 
Other Bad 
Results 716 
sixteen or eighteen years. Later the testicles 
become very sensitive and painful. This is 
called varicocele. Holding impure thoughts, 
reading immoral books, engaging in indecent 
stories, even when the secret sin is not prac- 
ticed, sends too much blood to the sexual 
organs and can produce both of these troubles. 
There are other bad effects from this vice 
which do not show themselves until a boy has 
become a man in his twenties, in middle life, 
or old age. 
It is to be hoped that you have 
never known this habit. But if 
you have, and have not yet overcome it, it 
must be overcome. The mind that is filled 
with pure and useful thoughts has no room 
for thoughts that are bad. The will has the 
power to decide what kind of thoughts shall 
hold the attention and occupy the mind. If 
the mind is not directed and held under con- 
trol, it will go wandering off on any kind of 
a subject, as its nature is to be active. Keep- 
ing the mind pure and clean is a simple thing, 
when a boy wants to keep it so. 
The boy who learns to see and gets 
interested in the things around 
him, will have no time for evil thoughts. No 
Personal Help for Boys 
Habit 
May Be 
Overcome 
Direct Mind 
into Useful 
Channel AXmak Boys Make Weak Men 
717 
boy needs to be a slave to bad habits. He 
does not need to use all of his energy in driv- 
ing out bad thoughts. Just thinking all of the 
time about pleasant, interesting, entertaining 
things will keep out bad thoughts. He, too, 
must pray to God for power to help him keep 
away the temptation to think, speak or do 
wrong, and his power will be increased a 
hundred fold. A MAN OF TOMORROW 
718 CHAPTER XLIV 
WHAT KIND OF A MAN WILL YOU BE? 
Man 
Determined 
by the Boy 
The foundation of manhood is 
laid in youth. If it is built on the 
shifting sands of idleness, ignorance, poor 
health and wrong habits, the boy will build 
a weak and worthless manhood. But if he 
builds on the solid rock of industry, educa- 
tion, a sound mind, healthy body and good 
habits, his manhood will be all that can be 
desired. 
Good health is one of the first foundation 
stones to be laid by a boy. There are a few 
simple and pleasant rules for a boy to follow, 
if he would enjoy good health. The first rule 
is plenty of open air exercise. There are two 
kinds of exercise, work and play. Both kinds 
of exercise have their place in the life of a 
boy. Work not only furnishes good exercise, 
it also trains the boy to be industrious and 
independent. Plays, games and athletic exer- 
cise lead to cheerfulness, laughter and a gen- 
eral good time. 
719 READY FOR THE FUN TRAIL 
720 What Kind of a Man Will You Be? 
721 
If a boy can not exercise outside 
or train in a gymnasium, he can 
exercise in his room with the windows open. 
Boys should learn to box, fence and wrestle. 
These exercises train the eye, mind and mus- 
cles, and give the boy self-control. Games 
that strain the muscles, smash noses, break 
limbs and turn boys into bullies are not the 
good games. 
The cigarette offers a great temp- 
tation to the average boy. If a 
kitten, puppy, calf or colt is injured or stunted 
when it is young, it likely will never over- 
come this. It is for this reason that the use 
of tobacco in any form at from ten to eighteen 
years injures a boy more than in any other 
period of life. If boys did not use tobacco 
until they were eighteen or twenty, in nearly 
every case they would have sufficient judg- 
ment not to use it. The cigarette-smoking 
boy is on the down grade. 
An experiment is made with a 
worm-like, blood-sucking creature, 
called a leech. Ten boys who had been cig- 
arette smokers were tested by the effect of the 
blood from the arm of the smoker on the 
leech, Leeches sucking the blood from the 
Open Air 
Exercise 
Is Best 
Cigarettes 
and 
Tobacco 
An Experi- 
ment with 
Cigarettes 722 
Personal Help for Boys 
cigarette smokers shortly begin to tremble, 
jerk and many times they fall to the floor 
dead. This is because the blood of the boy 
contains that deadly poison, nicotine, ab- 
sorbed from the tobacco he smokes. The 
leech that was permitted to suck blood from 
the boy who was not a cigarette smoker, was 
not in the least affected by the blood it took 
from the boy. This surely is sufficient proof 
that the boy who smokes cigarettes is poisoned 
in blood and in tissue. 
There is a little instrument for 
testing the heart-beat. When this 
is placed in touch with the pulse of the wrist, 
a small pointer will record the heart-beat on 
a specially prepared surface. The record of 
a cigarette smoker shows a very irregular 
heart-beat. Men with heart trouble usually 
are tobacco users. 
Many of the hundreds of thousands feeble- 
minded, insane and epileptic, and criminals 
in our jails and penitentiaries, and a large 
per cent, of the blind, deformed, dwarfed 
and pauperized people, were made in part 
what they are by using tobacco. Because 
some good men have used tobacco does not 
make it right. We are just learning how in- 
Effects of 
Cigarettes 
on Heart What Kind of a Man Will You Be? 
723 
jurious it is. The majority of men form their 
bad habits without knowing how injurious 
they are. 
Law is made for our protection. 
If we obey the laws of body, mind 
and soul we are sure of health, intelligence, 
success and happiness. If we break these laws 
we will suffer, our friends will have to suffer, 
and our children. Whenever you see some- 
one who is sick, blind, crippled, deformed, 
diseased, idiotic or insane, you may know that 
some law has been broken, accidentally, ig- 
norantly or knowingly by the individual, his 
parents or grandparents. 
Every boy should remember that 
when he becomes a man he will 
want a wife and a family. His wife and chil- 
dren have a right to expect him to be healthy 
and strong, so he can support and care for 
them. It is his duty in youth to so guard him- 
self against all bad habits, that he will be able 
to protect his family. The boy who protects 
himself in his youth, protects his manhood 
and his family in the future. Bad boys make 
bad men. Thousands of sickly wives and 
children are reaping the harvest of "wild 
Effects of 
Broken 
Laws 
Should Pro= 
tect Future 
Generations 724 
Personal Help for Boys 
oats" sown by husbands and fathers when they 
were boys. 
The greatest investment a boy can 
make is in character. A good 
character makes a good man. A great char- 
acter makes a great man. But it can not be 
handed by father to son, nor bought for 
money. It must be built by choice and effort. 
No man can reach the summit of greatness 
unless he is a Christian. The boy who is a 
conscientious Christian will build a great and 
good character, and enjoy going to church, 
reading good books and the Bible. 
Man's highest, truest and sweetest pleasures 
come from a perfect physical, mental and 
moral development. Self-management and 
self-control will keep a boy in harmony with 
God's laws and result in perfect manhood, 
happiness, usefulness and success. 
Value of 
Good 
Character CHAPTER XLV 
MAKING YOUR BOLDEST DREAMS COME TRUE 
The Stars 
and Stripes 
Over the 
Roof of the 
World 
For almost four hundred years, 
adventurous heroes of greatest 
daring and courage endured all 
manner of hardship and privation for the 
hope of gaining the North Pole. This cher- 
ished dream of the centuries finally was real- 
ized on April 6, 1909, when the Pole was 
reached by six men and forty Eskimo dogs 
under the command of the late Rear Admiral 
Robert E. Peary, U. S. N. The temperature 
on this April day was 65 degrees below the 
freezing point. An unsetting sun circled 
slowly a little above the horizon of a glitter- 
ing, frozen, lifeless world. This was the 
bleak and barren ice waste that so many had 
sought and "into which in all the ages since 
the earth was born no human being had ever 
penetrated." It was the dazzling, tantalizing 
wonder-prize of four centuries of contest, and 
here the indomitable and unconquerable 
Peary with his heroic party nailed the Stars 
725 726 
Personal Help for Boys 
and Stripes! Of this finished victory, Peary 
said, in a story that he wrote for the Boy 
Scouts' Year Book: "Never shall I forget it; 
and I don't want you to, for it was the result 
of dreaming a dream, then working for the 
realization of the dream through twenty-three 
long years, with every energy of brain and 
soul and body concentrated on the one sub- 
ject." 
The thing that Peary placed as 
the great lesson of his conquest 
was the "inevitable victory of persistence," 
together with the infinite value of a sound 
physical body. He directed attention to the 
fact that while this is an age of science, prog- 
ress and invention, yet the final conquest was 
made here, as was the conquest of the South 
Pole by Captain Roald Amundsen, of Nor- 
way, on December 14, 1911, by none of these, 
but "by the two first machines on earth: the 
human organism and the animal organism- 
man and the Eskimo dog." They struggled 
and fought against obstacles such as are to be 
found nowhere else on the face of the globe, 
and won out by the might of the perfect man- 
body and a grit that would not let go. These 
men, who accomplished the mightiest tasks 
Grit that 
Would Not 
Let Go Making Your Boldest Dreams Come True 
727 
in all the history of heroic things, had learned 
the lesson of the supreme value of a strong, 
healthy body, kept in A-l running condition. 
I have talked to you so much on this subject 
that I feel sure you know the lesson well 
enough to be able to say it backwards and 
forwards, sideways and slanting. It was the 
splendid physical bodies of these two little 
bands of men that held them up on forced 
marches in the bitter cold and in the face of 
almost insurmountable obstacles and priva- 
tions, and sustained their efforts until the final 
supreme victory. But, united with the splen- 
did physique, was persistency of will. It may 
help you to never forget Peary's triumph to 
know that the vessel in which he sailed was 
the Roosevelt, named after another hero of 
rugged frame and iron will. 
It is your WILL that will enable 
you to make your boldest dreams 
come true. In all your battles, 
and in overcoming every foe, your will is 
your strongest ally. By the will, you form 
good habits and overcome bad ones, and 
rightly direct the energies and the emotions. 
Your will gives staying power to your grit. 
It enables you to be true to your code of 
V.3-6 
Making 
Your 
Dreams 
Come True 728 
Personal Help for Boys 
honor, defend your conviction, and wear your 
armor of knighthood worthily. Will is 
power; so is electricity. But remember, the 
power of either, without direction, may be 
ruinous. When not controlled, the will mani- 
fests all the selfish traits of Jump, and seeks 
to gratify the appetites and want-desires of 
your strongest feelings. So you must be a 
worthy commander, and control and direct 
the will into lines of conduct that will make 
for your highest success and happiness. This 
gives the self-mastered will, the highest at- 
tainment of character and manhood. 
A strong will that is self-mastered 
is the basis of greatness. Your will 
grows strong in the same way that your 
muscles do-through exercise or use. In de- 
veloping your muscles, you give most atten- 
tion to those that are weakest. The will 
should be exercised in the same way, by spe- 
cially drilling those qualities that need 
strengthening. In whatever way you con- 
sciously use your will, you develop will 
power. For instance, you put your will into 
your eyes, and you see more; into your read- 
ing, and you remember more; and so on with 
every other physical power or mental faculty 
Developing 
a Strong 
Will Making Your Boldest Dreams Come True 
729 
that you <wz/Z to exercise. In all drills for 
developing will power, the important thing is 
attention. Begin your drill by determining 
to give persistent attention to whatever you 
are doing. Joseph Cook says, "Attention is 
the mother of memory, and interest is the 
mother of attention." Whenever you exercise 
your will to strengthen it, be sure to invite 
this mother and grandmother to the party. 
A great truth was voiced by Prof. 
Jules Payot, when he said, "Cali- 
gula wished that all the Romans 
might have one head so that he could decapi- 
tate them with a single stroke. It is unneces- 
sary for us to entertain a similar wish con- 
cerning the enemies we have to combat, for 
there is only one cause of almost all our fail- 
ures and nearly all our misfortunes. This is 
weakness of our will." The commonest hand- 
icap in building a strong will is lack of deci- 
sion, and a "maybe, perhaps, I don't know" 
habit of doing and thinking that makes one's 
own conduct depend largely on what others 
may do or say. To overcome this tendency, 
be careful to decide aright, then be positive 
and hold to your own opinions and methods 
Cutting off 
the Heads 
of Your 
Enemies 730 
Personal Help for Boys 
of doing what you know to be right, instead 
of conforming to the wishes of others. 
In the story of Penrod, you will 
remember how, in his active im- 
agination, Penrod pictured just what he 
would do to anyone who dared to call him a 
"little gentleman." You saw how quick he 
was to "fix" those who gave him this intoler- 
able insult. One of the most practical uses 
of the imagination, in all serious matters that 
involve a choice, is to face the matter in your 
own imagination, weigh the motives for and 
against, select the course that is best, and then 
determine with all your will to do it. If you 
wait until you are face to face with trouble 
or danger, you will be controlled by your 
strongest emotion. Years ago, an engineer of 
a fast express, when rounding a curve, was 
confronted with a danger that threatened the 
lives of his passengers. In the moment of 
supreme peril he did the only thing possible 
to prevent the wreck. The passengers, when 
the train was stopped, marvelled at his won- 
derful judgment and instant decision. He re- 
plied, "I did not think. I did not have to. I 
have often thought what I would do if such 
an accident occurred, and ten years ago I de- 
Winning 
the Battle Making Your Boldest Dreams Come True 
731 
cided on my course of conduct. When it 
came, I acted instinctively." This illustrates 
the kind of will-training and imagination that 
will help you to triumph over danger, and, 
what is even more important, it will enable 
you to hold on to your ideals when tempted. 
The knights of old were famous 
for their staying powers. They 
were not quitters. They would not let go. 
They exercised their wills the same as they 
did their muscles, for the purpose of making 
both stronger. They gained the strength to 
do big and difficult things by training the will 
in doing little and distasteful things. They 
did not have furnaces, with ash bins and 
water pots to look after, the care of which 
seems such a hardship to many modern boys; 
but I can assure you that some of the things 
they did as a means of training their wills 
were fully as commonplace and uninteresting. 
It is a splendid thing to form a Habit of doing 
some task each day that is downright distaste- 
ful and doing it with a grin. This is one of 
the very best drills for building up an uncon- 
querable will. It is also wise, when your 
chores are unattractive, to follow the example 
of Goethe's mother, who always did her most 
Your Will 
and the 
Devil 732 
Personal Help for Boys 
disagreeable tasks first. This she called 
"gulping down the devil without looking at 
him." 
In the shadowy twilight of a 
dreary winter evening, when I 
was still in the fairy-tale age, I read a story 
that seemed to fit in with the cold and dark- 
ness of the world, and that left such a creepy, 
shivery feeling up and down my back that I 
never forgot it. Of course, the story was a 
fairy tale. It was of a boy who was always 
saying "I can't" to everything he was asked to 
do. Finally, he wore out his mother's pa- 
tience and she sent him supperless to bed. 
And then what do you think happened? The 
boy dreamed that he turned into a miserable, 
ugly, puny, deformed creature, and out of the 
darkness came a monstrous giant, with blaz- 
ing eyes, and roared, "This is the boy that 
says T can't!' All T can'ts' get hung!" And 
that was the end of that boy. It was all so 
real to me that I forgot it was only a dream. 
I "didn't dast" tell my mama about "I can't," 
because she would have taken my book awav, 
but I had many a long thought and cold 
shiver, for fear I might form the habit of 
saying "I can't," and be hanged! Real life 
'"I Can't' 
Got Hung" Making Your Boldest Dreams Come True 
733 
is not as swift as my imagination pictured in 
its punishments to the quitters, whiners and 
the I can't folks; but the boys who keep say- 
ing "I can't," grow up into men who lose all 
of life's fine prizes and the keen joy of doing 
big things. The hanging truly takes place, 
for the ugly giant of failure strangles the 
spirit of such boys, destroying their capacities 
for success and happiness. 
King Can is the fellow with the 
right kind of spirit! He will lead you to lots 
of fun. In the early history of our language, 
before we were as civilized as we are now, 
"canning" was the word that meant king. The 
man who could do, who was fit to be a leader 
and protector of the people, was the king. 
Our word "can" comes from the same source, 
and still carries with it kingly powers. In 
the truest sense, the man who can is always a 
king. All about us we have such kings in 
science, invention, statescraft, business, etc. 
Each of them became a king because "he 
wins who thinks he can." The career of the 
Hon. J. Harrison White furnishes an ex- 
ample of the triumph of King Can. His boy- 
hood life was full of hardship. At the age of 
nine he was forced to make his own way in 
King Can 734 
Personal Help for Boys 
the world. But, as a boy, he had grit and 
determination, and in the ripe years of his 
manhood he became a supreme court judge. 
In telling a bunch of boys about his early 
struggles, he said in closing, "What we attain 
in later life is only the fruit of the seeds we 
sow in early life. No matter what you under- 
take, believe all the time that you can do it, 
and you will succeed. We fail because we 
lack persistence. Keep constantly at one 
thing, be truthful, for where truth is, dishon- 
esty can not exist, and you will succeed."7 
Peary said his achievement was 
"the result of dreaming a dream, 
then working for the realization 
of the dream through twenty-three long years, 
with every energy of brain and soul and body 
concentrated on the one subject." He tells 
boys to hold fast to the creed of his friend 
George Borup: "Clear brain, clean body, 
persistence, a heart that will not accept 'No,' 
and you can win any prize." This is a code 
worth adding to any code you are holding. 
Set your will to work in any line in which 
you have power. Remember, victory comes 
through the constancy of will that is ex- 
pressed in eternal patience. Most of what is 
The Heart 
that Will 
Not Accept 
"No" Making Your Boldest Dreams Come True 
735 
looked upon as genius is due to a concentra- 
tion like that of Peary's. You can, if you will, 
stand side by side with earth's great souls, 
who, through self-mastery, have been able to 
realize, in their own lives, the power and the 
joy that come in the fulfillment of a mighty 
dream. CHAPTER XLVI 
MOTHERS TALKS TO GIRLS 
THE DAWNING OF WOMANHOOD 
All These 
Years a 
Little Girl 
You have been growing larger 
and wiser all the time. You have 
worn short dresses, loved your dolls, played 
with little boys and girls, and have been 
innocent, free from care, jolly, and happy. 
You will be a girl for several years to come, 
and should not be in a hurry to get away 
from the joys, pleasures and ways of girl- 
hood. However, God did not intend you to 
remain a girl, but wisely planned that you 
should grow and change in body and mind 
from a girl into a woman, so that some day 
you may be a mother. 
God has planned for a change to 
take place in every girl when she 
is from twelve to fifteen. This is a change 
from girlhood to womanhood, and is called 
puberty or adolescence. It is brought about 
by the maturing of the most important organs 
The Chang- 
ing Girl 
736 The Dawning of Womanhood 
737 
of her body, the mother parts, that corre- 
spond to the mother parts in the flowers or 
the animals. Up to this time these organs 
have been largely inactive, but now have 
begun the important work of changing the 
girl into a woman. From this time on, until 
she is forty or forty-five years old, there will 
be formed in one of her ovaries every four 
weeks a tiny egg, or ovum. 
Puberty is that uncertain period 
in a girl's life-one, two or three 
years in duration-when the change from 
girlhood to womanhood is taking place. It 
is the first year or two of adolescence. When 
a girl is entering this vestibule of woman- 
hood the approach is made known to her by 
an uneasy feeling in the small of the back, 
heaviness about the ovaries, sometimes by 
headaches and possibly by pains in other 
parts of the body. One of the ovaries has 
formed a little egg or ovum. A flow of blood 
tinged with mucus formed by the velvety 
lining of the womb, passes from the body by 
way of the external sex organs. 
This discharge is called the men- 
strual flow. It is a perfectly 
natural experience that all girls have. It 
Signs of 
Puberty 
A Natural 
Experience 738 
Personal Help for Girls 
indicates that the special organs are develop- 
ing and preparing for motherhood. Men- 
struation is not a disease; it is a natural 
function. When you see or feel the first 
signs of this change, consult your mama, and 
she will give you directions and advice 
about how to care for your person during 
the menses. 
Usually a girl menstruates for the 
first time near the beginning of 
puberty. If a girl is healthy her menstrual 
periods will occur once each lunar month, or 
every twenty-eight days. It is for this 
reason that the flow is called menstruation. 
The word comes from the Latin word 
"mensis," meaning a month. This monthly 
experience is known by several names- 
"menses," "periods," "courses" and "unwell." 
A girl owes it to herself, society 
and her future family to take 
good care of herself during the menstrual 
periods. She should not overstrain herself 
at work, worry about her lessons or other 
duties. She should occasionally lie down 
and rest. No cold baths should be taken. 
A warm sponge bath, taken in a warm room, 
could do no harm. She should carefully 
Menstrua- 
tion 
Hygienic 
Advice The Dawning of Womanhood 
739 
avoid getting her feet wet or cold, and avoid 
standing or sitting on cold ground or any- 
thing else that might cause her to have a 
chill or catch a cold. This is needful because 
any of these conditions would most likely 
cause a stoppage of the menstrual flow. If 
this occurs it is likely to cause pain and result 
in irregular and painful menstruation. 
When a girl has good health, does 
not expose herself so as to take 
colds, dresses so as not to compress her body 
and push these organs out of their proper 
places, takes plenty of outdoor exercise, 
keeps her mind free from ugly thoughts, 
she will be regular in her menses and feel 
but little inconvenience or pain. Experience 
shows that just in proportion as a girl fails 
to follow the rules just stated will her menses 
be irregular and painful. Girls with good 
health, who are usefully and happily em- 
ployed, who do not let their minds dwell 
unnecessarily on this function, experience 
little or no pain. 
It will be noticed in the first 
stages of puberty that the limbs 
are growing larger and more 
shapely, the shoulders are growing backward 
Regularity 
in Men= 
struation 
Physical, 
Mental and 
Moral 
Changes 740 
Personal Help for Girls 
and downward, the chest is expanding, the 
breasts are enlarging, the skin is becoming 
more delicate and rosy, the hips are growing 
broader, the hair is growing thicker, longer 
and more glossy, and the voice is developing 
richer tones. With all these physical changes 
that are taking place, the mental and moral 
natures are changing as well. The girl will 
now take a keener interest in society, and in 
mental and moral matters. All these changes 
show that the girl is developing into a woman. 
This new life is making her at- 
tractive, lovable, sociable, bril- 
liant, and attractive. This new life adds 
very much to the natural charms of a girl, 
making the naturally beautiful girl more 
beautiful and the homely girl more attractive. 
The girl with a "doll iface," and weak in her 
sexual nature, will not be as attractive as the 
more homely girl whose normal sexual life has 
given her these personal charms of a healthy, 
strong womanhood. 
Menstruation is a sign which God 
has given that tells of the possi- 
bilities of the sacred function of motherhood. 
The menstrual flow indicates that a little 
seed has ripened in the ovary. This little 
The 
Charms of 
Womanhood 
A Sacred 
Function The Dawning of Womanhood 
741 
seed, like the seed in the flower, when fer- 
tilized, is the beginning of a new life. When 
you are married, one of these little seeds may 
some time develop into a darling little baby. 
After menstruation first takes 
place it will be several years be- 
fore you are either physically or 
mentally fit to marry and raise a family. If 
you and your husband are strong and healthy, 
some day a little seed may remain in its cozy 
mother nest, the womb, and grow for two 
hundred and eighty days, when the nest will 
open and a little baby be born into your 
home. On that day you will have performed 
a service which makes you one of the sweetest 
and holiest of God's creature" 
Sweetest 
and Holiest 
of God's 
Creatures CHAPTER XLVII 
CONFIDENTIAL ADVICE 
In childhood, youth, middle life 
and old age, the organs of sex 
may be abused in several ways. If girls 
fully realized their delicate nature and their 
sacred mission, I am sure they would never 
misuse them. The more delicate and sacred 
an organ is, the more serious will be the 
penalty following its abuse. The abuse of 
these most delicate organs of the body results 
in ill-health, poor development, much suffer* 
ing, and should the victims marry, their chil- 
dren will be puny, sickly and short-lived. 
The bearing of strong, healthy, beautiful, 
playful children is woman's highest mission. 
It is for this reason that girls should under- 
stand the nature and functions of these organs 
and the results of abusing them. 
In the mucous membrane of the 
external organs of sex are thou- 
sands of little glands that constantly secrete 
Most Deli- 
cate Organs 
of the Body 
Need of 
Cleanliness 
742 Confidential Advice 
743 
a slight discharge. If this is not removed by 
washing with a soft cloth once daily, it will 
irritate these parts and produce an offensive 
odor. These parts are very sensitive, and 
being the most delicate organs of the body 
can be easily injured, so you must never rub 
or handle them roughly when bathing them. 
If, as sometimes occurs, even when you are 
gentle in washing them, they seem inflamed, 
irritated, or have any unnatural feeling, you 
should tell your mama. While only a few 
girls have this trouble, it is very necessary 
that the causes be removed, which can be 
easily and painlessly done. It is very im- 
portant that these organs are kept natural 
and normal, for your health and to a con- 
siderable extent your happiness, life and 
character are based on their being so. 
If a girl does not keep these 
sensitive parts clean by daily 
washing, they may become so inflamed and 
irritated that she will be disposed to scratch 
or rub them, and this may lead to another 
abuse that is called the "secret sin" or "secret 
vice," for the reason that it is practiced in 
secret. It is also called "self-pollution" be- 
cause of its filthy nature and the injury it 
Abusing 
These Parts 744 
Personal Help for Girls 
does to every organ of the body, faculty 
of the mind and power of the soul; or 
termed "masturbation," which comes from 
two words meaning abuse of the body with 
the hand. If there is any uneasy feeling in 
these parts that inclines you to rub them, you 
should mention it to your mama. 
From these remarks you have 
learned that you should never 
handle or rub these sensitive private parts 
except to wash and keep them clean. While 
it is not generally known, and may seem 
very strange to you, these organs also can be 
abused through a wrong use of your mind. 
When you study these organs with a view to 
understanding them, or when you think of 
their sacred functions, these mental relations 
to these organs never do them harm. But 
when you entertain thoughts about them that 
you would not be willing to express to your 
mother; when you read an immoral book, 
look upon an obscene picture, or engage in 
improper conversation about these organs, 
then these mental states make the blood flow 
in undue quantities to them, causing inflam- 
mation and congestion in these sensitive parts. 
From this you will see how important it is 
What You 
Should 
Not Do Confidential Advice 
745 
that a girl does not permit her mind to 
engage in wrong thinking. 
The effects of the secret sin vary 
greatly in different individuals. 
In some it shows itself most markedly in the 
physical, in others in the mental or the moral 
nature. While this sin is practiced in secret, 
there are physical, mental and moral effects 
that come as a result of this abuse. Perhaps 
the first effect of this sin is to be seen in the 
moral nature. The expression in the girl's 
face often indicates that she is conscious of 
wrongdoing. She likely will become irri- 
table, peevish and disobedient, and not take 
the interest in prayer, the Bible, good books 
and the church that she once did. The con- 
tinued excitement of the organs of sex leads 
to many forms of nerve trouble. The mind 
becomes sluggish, memory fails and some- 
times the poor victim goes insane. This 
habit leads to a gloomy, despondent, discour- 
aged state of mind, its victim does not enjoy 
life, and because of this mental state many 
commit suicide. 
Perhaps the most noticeable ef- 
fects of this vice are to be found 
in the physical system. In time the eyes be- 
The Effects 
of Abuse 
Physical 
Effects 746 
Personal Help for Girls 
come hollow and lusterless, complexion sal- 
low, cheeks haggard, lips and ears pale, 
muscles soft and flabby, the breasts shrink, 
the bodily form is stooped and weak. Every 
time the life-giving blood is caused by this 
sin to rush in undue quantities to these or- 
gans, it returns to the heart with less of life 
and more impurities. Such girls will grow 
up to be weak, puny women and will suffer 
from dyspepsia, consumption and nervous 
troubles. 
Among the many thousands of 
girls who will read this book, 
some will find themselves in the grip of this 
vice, and will be praying, longing and strug- 
gling for freedom. If any reader is not free 
from this worst of all human slavery, this 
advice, when faithfully followed, will make 
you free. Remember that when you allow 
your mind to entertain impure thoughts, 
words and visions, the blood immediately 
rushes to these parts and this tempts you to 
practice this vice. Now your victory and 
deliverance will come just as rapidly as you 
succeed in getting control of your mind in 
these matters. This can not be done in a 
The Way 
to Freedom Confidential Advice 
747 
day. If you have allowed your mind to run 
wild, you have produced a condition of mind, 
nerves and organs where the slightest fric- 
tion of parts, the sight of a suggestive pic- 
ture or sentence causes the parts to become 
flushed with blood. This will gradually 
cease as you learn to control your mind. 
If you are despondent, discouraged and 
gloomy, you must force yourself to cultivate 
the opposite mental states-hopefulness, cour- 
age, cheerfulness and determination. The 
first group of mental states are in themselves 
positively injurious to physical and mental 
health. There is no nerve tonic, no whole- 
some food, no medicine quite so stimulating, 
so strengthening and so remedial as the sec- 
ond group of mental states. If, because of 
abuse, the second group has become unnatu- 
ral to you, they must be cultivated. Nature 
can not do her work when the mind of the 
individual is working against her. There 
are several things that will help you. When 
you are tempted to entertain impure thoughts 
or to practice the habit, immediately engage 
your mind in something else. Pray, read a 
good book, write a letter to a friend, perform 
some service for another, take a long walk; 748 
Personal Help for Girls 
in fact, just anything that will take your mind 
off of the temptation. Refuse to handle these 
organs except to keep them clean. Bathing 
the parts in cold water has a tendency to 
allay discomfort. If you have in your pos- 
session pictures or books that are suggestive, 
destroy them. In your social relations with 
young men you must permit no familiarities. 
Don't chide and condemn yourself any more 
because of the errors of the past. If you are 
truly repentant, God mercifully and lovingly 
forgives and graciously offers to give you the 
grace and strength with which to win the 
battles of the future. Hopefully, cheerfully 
and bravely face the future. No lasting de- 
feat can come to one who keeps on trying. 
Victory will crown the persistent effort. CHAPTER XLVIII 
CHOOSING A CHUM 
You are now entering upon that 
period of a girl's life known as 
adolescence. This period will 
take about seven to eight years. The first 
four will be the most important years of your 
life. This is true for many reasons. During 
that period you will be largely a girl and 
partly a woman. The mind of the girl that 
was and the woman that you will be occa- 
sionally will cause confusing experiences. 
You will have many new and strange emo- 
tions, thoughts, impulses, and you will need 
the advice of those older than yourself. 
One of these experiences will be 
the desire for social privileges. 
You will want a girl chum. This is per- 
fectly natural. God has given you a social 
nature, and you should cultivate your social 
gifts. This will enlarge your happiness and 
usefulness. 
Most 
Important 
Years of 
Your Life 
New Social 
Desires 
749 750 
Personal Help for Girls 
Young girls desire chums because 
the dawning of womanhood stimu- 
lates and awakens the social nature. This 
also is a period in a girl's life when she is 
especially interested in things romantic and 
sensational. Girls naturally choose their 
special chums, and it is so easy for them to 
engage in conversation which they would not 
want their mothers to hear. Such a friend- 
ship might lead to exaggeration, disobedience 
and secret meetings with other girls or boys. 
It is not hard to see how a girl might thus 
become thoughtless, rash, indiscreet and be 
overtaken by some very great wrong. 
In this period a girl needs two 
chums: her mother and a girl 
friend. She often will need her mother's 
advice in the choice of a girl chum. 
If you desire one or more girl 
friends, you should exercise great 
care in choosing them. If you find a girl 
inclined to exaggeration, to use by-words and 
improper language while talking about her 
boy friends, or who desires secret meetings 
with boys, however attractive she may be, 
you should not be chummy with her. To 
form intimate friendships with such girls 
Why a Girl 
Wants a 
Chum 
A Girl 
Needs Two 
Chums 
Choosing 
the Right 
Chum Choosing a Chum 
751 
would be a great risk. You will find it safest 
always to be chaste, sincere and dignified in 
conversation, even with a girl chum. This 
does not mean that you should not have in- 
nocent fun. 
The wise girl will take her 
mother into her confidence and 
ask for advice in the choice of her chums. 
Your mother will always appreciate the op- 
portunity to be to you a chum, a friend and 
a companion. 
The Wise 
Girl CHAPTER XLIX 
A YOUNG GIRL'S ETHICS 
You are now of an age when you 
can appreciate a heart-to-heart 
talk on the social relations of young girls and 
boys. God gave to us our social natures. It 
is our social nature which leads us to desire 
new acquaintances, to be with old friends, to 
be in large gatherings of people, and to have 
special friends. A reasonable amount of 
social activity is essential to our well-being. 
Most of our real pleasure in life grows out of 
our relation to society. Genuine, innocent 
pleasure is nature's greatest tonic. Innocent 
games, a big romp, a good laugh, all help to 
develop the body, prolong life and increase 
one's usefulness. Plays, games, a good time, 
should form a large part of childhood. The 
boy's nature leads him often to prefer games 
that require strength, endurance and daring. 
The girl's nature leads her often to prefer 
games that require less of strength, endurance 
The Social 
Nature 
752 A Young Girl's Ethics 
753 
and danger. It is for this reason that boys 
enjoy games of football and baseball and girls 
enjoy their dolls, tennis and croquet. 
While boys prefer generally to 
play with boys and girls with 
girls, yet their opposite natures 
lead them also to enjoy being with each other 
in conversation and games. In most homes 
and communities, boys and girls are nearly 
equally divided as to number. This indicates 
that God planned for them to be much with 
each other. 
God has given us a sex nature as 
well as a social nature. If girls 
have not learned bad language, engaged in 
impure thoughts or formed habits of vice, 
they rarely are conscious of their sex nature 
before the dawning of puberty. At puberty 
begins the dawning of a new life that re- 
sults in occasional sex consciousness. If we 
avoid everything that would excite the sex 
organs, this new life will make wonderful 
changes in every organ of the body, faculty 
of the mind and power of the soul. The 
consciousness of sex simply means that we 
are coming into possession of creative energy. 
By keeping the mind usefully employed, 
Boys and 
Girls Should 
Play 
Together 
The Sex and 
Social 
Nature 754 
Personal Help for Girls 
taking plenty of physical exercise, mental 
study, and sympathizing with and loving 
everybody, this sex life will be built into the 
muscles and into brain tissue, giving strength 
of body, brilliancy of mind and warmth of 
soul. The developing sex life is slowly and 
gradually preparing the girl for motherhood. 
This preparation is not completed until she 
is fully matured. The girl does not mature 
until she is about twenty. During the eight 
years of adolescence, she is gradually pass- 
ing out of girlhood into womanhood. For 
the first half of these periods she is more 
girl than woman. During these early years 
the girl may be womanly, but she is still 
a child, and should still play with her boy 
friends without any thought of being sweet- 
hearts. It is natural for a girl to admire one 
boy more than she does another because he is 
gallant, kind and manly. It is seldom that 
these little experiences of admiration take 
on the more serious form of love; if older 
people do not encourage or tease them, their 
little spells of love will soon disappear. It 
is best for a girl not to think of a boy as a 
sweetheart or lover until she is nearly 
matured. A Young Girl's Ethics 
755 
She excites the pity of some, the 
disgust of others and the love 
and appreciation of none. She will carry on 
a ridiculous conversation over the phone for 
an hour, or stand on the street corner and 
engage in the most silly nonsense. She often 
is a simpering, giggling, flirting, pitiable 
imitation of what she would like co be. In 
the schoolroom she passes notes and receives 
low grades. She carries her dressing to the 
limit of idiocy, disfiguring her body and 
ruining her health. As she grows older she 
takes lonely midnight strolls and buggy rides. 
It will be a miracle if the "boy-struck" girl 
does not fall. Even if she does not fall into 
disgrace, it will be difficult for her to regain 
her self-respect and the confidence of her 
neighbors. 
While the association of boys and 
girls is natural, enjoyable, and has 
its blessings, it is not without temptations and 
dangers. In associating with boys, girls 
should be very careful in regard to their 
dress. They ought not to wear dresses which 
unnecessarily expose their breasts or limbs; 
use a word or exoression that would suggest 
wrong thoughts to their boy friends, or go 
The "Boy= 
Struck" Girl 
Confidential 
Social 
Advice 756 
Personal Help for Girls 
off alone with boys; and they should never 
permit a boy to hold their hands, pinch their 
arms, play with their hair, hug or kiss them. 
All these things are exceedingly dangerous. 
It will be well for you to remem- 
ber that many boys are very 
wicked. Poor fellows! In many cases they 
have not been trained to be polite, kind and 
pure. They have no idea how sinful it is 
to use obscene language, to be immodest, and 
by these methods to seek to ruin the char- 
acter and life of a girl. Girls should be care- 
ful not to associate with this class of boys. 
Some boys are as innocent and 
pure as most girls are. Good 
boys and young men who have been well 
trained are always kind, courteous, brave, 
true and pure. Association with them is 
always helpful. 
Don't be in a hurry to grow into 
womanhood. Be a joyful, play- 
ful, happy girl just as long as you can. Of 
course you will not want to play or be with 
your friends all the time, or even most of the 
time. You will be in school much of the 
time, and will want to spend some time on 
A Class of 
Dangerous 
Boys 
The True, 
the Pure 
Boys 
Girlhood 
Comes But 
Once A Young Girl's Ethics 
757 
your music, in learning how to make your 
clothing, to care for the bedrooms and to cook. 
You will wish to form high ideals and gain 
inspiration from reading books of travel, of 
history, some fiction of high moral and lit- 
erary tone, biographies of great and good 
people, the best magazines and, of course, 
you will not leave the Bible out of your daily 
reading. CHAPTER L 
CONTROLLING YOUR EMOTIONS 
When the Good Fairy comes to 
you, what three wishes do you 
make? Are they idle wishes, or have they 
purposes in them with a chance for fulfill- 
ment in your life? Modern psychologists, 
who are always discovering new things and 
exploring the hidden mysteries of the soul, 
tell us that much of our future health and 
happiness depend on our seemingly insignifi- 
cant wishes. With the wishes, they class 
your desires, longings, imaginings, dreams, 
and, in fact, all that makes up your emo- 
tional self. They show how the strings of 
the harp of the soul are so finely attuned 
that discords struck upon them may later 
echo back such harsh, rasping, jarring, 
jangled sounds as to seriously disturb the 
nervous system and finally break it down 
completely. Controlling the emotions and 
directing them into proper channels of activ- 
ity are as essential as is the conquest of the 
Wishing of 
the Good 
Fairy 
758 Controlling Your Emotions 
759 
lower nature. To girls of a sensitive, nerv- 
ous temperament, this is most vital for their 
physical well-being. Therefore, the wishes 
that you make to the Good Fairy and that 
you whisper into her ear alone are a matter 
of serious importance. 
Your mind may be compared to 
the ocean. On the surface float 
your conscious thoughts and the ideas of 
your daily thinking. The deep, dark depths 
below represent what is termed the sub- 
conscious or subjective mind, and in it dwell 
your forgotten memories, your secret or un- 
acknowledged wishes and desires, your loves 
and hates, your fears, and all other emotional 
disturbances. The castaways you have 
thrown into this ocean are as strong-and 
sometimes even stronger-in determining and 
shaping your health, your happiness, your 
success or failure in life, as are the things 
with which you consciously concern your- 
self. So we shall put on diver suits and go 
down to the ocean's bottom. 
Down in the depths are the things 
you have tossed away with the 
thought of getting rid of them forever-the 
things you have feared or that have given 
The Deep 
Ocean of 
Your Soul 
At the 
Bottom of 
the Sea 760 
Personal Help for Girls 
you a severe fright; the repressed impulses 
to do the mean things; the ungratified wishes; 
and the unpleasant things you have seen, 
heard and done, to recall which makes you 
shudder even in later years, or blush with 
shame. These buried creatures are not dead, 
but sleeping until some favorable time, when 
the repressed emotions and desires, and the 
hobgoblins that have frightened you, may 
rise again in another form, and, if you do 
not recognize them, cause you unexpected 
sickness, misery and distress. Now for a 
little closer study of these undesirable beings 
of the deep, to see how they are formed, and 
the methods of conquering them. 
One of the most common evi- 
dences of uncontrolled emotion- 
ality is jealously. Three hundred years ago 
Shakespeare well named it "the green-eyed 
monster." Some have made the grave mis- 
take of being pleased at signs of jealousy in 
those they like or admire, regarding this as 
proof of their depth of love. Instead, it is 
one of the strongest evidences of their ex- 
cessive love of themselves. Jealousy springs 
from selfishness. Jealous persons are always 
thinking of their pleasures, their desires, 
"The 
Green=Eyed 
Monster" Controlling Your Emotions 
761 
their interests, and are chiefly occupied with 
thoughts of themselves. They want all at- 
tention centered on them, and show their 
love (?) and fondness (?) when they do not 
receive it in temper or in outbreaks of rage. 
This is not love, "that thinketh not of itself, 
that suffereth long, and is kind." 
Covetousness, envy, self-centered- 
ness, and vanity are all emotional 
offshoots that have their root in selfishness. 
Have you ever seen a devil fish with his 
long, encircling arms, with which he seeks 
to draw everything to himself? Lack of self- 
control and of emotional restraint form these 
unlovely traits into like hideous creatures. 
Covetousness and envy are always wanting for 
themselves what others have. The self- 
centered make Self the center around which 
all else revolves. Their wishes, their annoy- 
ances, their pleasures, are of supreme im- 
portance. Vanity seeks the middle of the 
stage, dominated by the one desire to be 
always the center of attraction. 
Fright, fear or the early hearing 
or reading of bugaboo and ghost 
stories is the emotional mother that creates 
the ghosts, ghouls and goblins, and the 
The Self= 
Centered 
Devil Fish 
The Mother 
of Spooks 762 
Personal Help tor Girls 
shadowy, shivery, spooky forms that lurk in 
the dark to grab you. Timid children, 
frightened by their elders instead of trained 
in emotional control, live in constant misery, 
haunted on every side by these day horrors 
and night terrors. These vague and horrible 
forms creep, crawl and clutch after their 
victims and rob the terrified sufferers of all 
courage except to utter the "fraid-cat" warn- 
ing that the goblins will get you if you go 
into the dark. 
It is your "wishes that go wrong," 
and your ungratified desires, that 
produce the slippery, slimy, 
wiggly water puppies in the Ocean of Your 
Soul. To understand how these slimy fel- 
lows are made, remember that appetite is the 
ruling attribute in the water puppy's nature. 
He is the same voracious creature that your 
dictionary calls a triton, water newt, water 
dog, or hellbender. His want-appetite seems 
never satisfied, and how he does hold on to 
anything he wants! I have seen Mr. Puppy 
with a bite bigger than he could swallow, 
struggling for over six hours trying to suck 
down a much-desired morsel, and when I 
left him he was still tenaciously holding it 
A Water 
Puppy's 
Want= 
Appetite Controlling Your Emotions 
763 
in his greedy jaws. As a baby, you, like 
every other healthy youngster, wanted the 
moon, and cried for the hammer and the 
looking glass. You were mainly a bundle 
of wants. As you grew older, not being able 
to satisfy your want-life, your imagination 
created a fairy realm that your active fancy 
filled with all your coveted treasures. As 
you grew older still, your childhood's cre- 
ation no longer satisfied your want-life, but 
you continued still to wish for the things 
you desired. 
According to soul-analysis, our 
wishes are mainly characterized 
by appetite, ranging from the mere appetite 
for food to every kind of sense gratification, 
which extends almost limitlessly to cover the 
whole instinct for living and loving. Appe- 
tite grows by what it feeds on; therefore, on 
just what objects your want-appetite becomes 
fixed, depends your happiness or unhappiness 
in later life. When wrongly centered on any 
object, wishes become the wiggling, slimy, 
ever-hungry water puppies that want, want 
and want. Then they are called "wishes 
gone wrong." 
A Wish 
Gone 
Wrong 764 
Personal Help for Girls 
Emotional 
Control a 
Vital Need 
The effect of all these grewsome 
shadow-creatures of the soul's 
Ocean of Mystery is one and the same. They 
not only injure and deform the character, 
but may even ruin the health of the unfor- 
tunate sufferer. The very real effect of 
their terrorizing presence shows itself in 
some form of physical, nervous or mental 
distress that climaxes in later years in in- 
validism, criminality or some of the many 
varied forms of nervous breakdown. Most 
American girls have what is called the nerv- 
ous temperament. For such, and for all 
with any marked degree of sensitiveness, or 
with any inherited tendency to nervous dis- 
eases, the lack of intelligent emotional con- 
trol is almost sure to end in disaster or 
tragedy. 
"Canst thou minister to a mind 
diseased; pluck from the memory 
a rooted sorrow; raze out the written troubles 
of the brain?" asks Macbeth. And in the 
exact words with which the wonderful 
Shakespeare made the doctor reply to Mac- 
beth lies the remedy for all of these evidences 
of uncontrolled emotionality: "Therein the 
patient must minister to himself." First 
"Must 
Minister 
to Himself" Controlling Your Emotions 
765 
comes the essential need of building up 
nerves of self-control to overrule the nerves 
of impulse so that you will exercise calmness, 
courage and moderation in all emotional 
strains. To control jealousy, and all other 
emotions whose source lies in selfishness, 
cultivate self-forgetting kindliness, banish the 
craving to be the center of attention, occupy 
the mind less with thoughts of self and of 
the self's wishes, pleasures, loves, and hates; 
and find your fullest joy in loving service to 
others, rather than miss it in the gratification 
of your own selfishness. The cause of any 
abiding senseless fear is generally found in 
some emotional shock that you received when 
a young child. You will likely discover this 
in some nurse's bedtime story of bloodshed 
and terror like the story of Bluebeard, or in 
someone frightening you into obedience with 
threats of "the bogy man." By a magic 
understood by those versed in soul-analysis, 
if you can locate and recognize the fear, both 
the fear and its effect will "dissolve like the 
charms in a fairy story," like when the 
princess comes out from a spell cast on her 
by the wicked witch. Control fear by not 
seeing, reading or doing what gives you the 766 
Personal Help for Girls 
shivers. Be afraid of nothing except doing 
wrong. Try to realize the same absolute 
trust and faith in the dear Heavenly Father 
as did the psalmist who could sing, "Yea, 
though I walk through the valley of the 
shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for 
Thou art with me." 
Too much thinking of and desir- 
ing, wanting and wishing to grat- 
ify the self and its senses, destroy the health 
and deform the character. Life means 
growth and development. I told you how, 
when a baby, your wishes began in want- 
appetites that demanded the satisfying of 
your sense desires. A major part of the 
self-loving, self-sympathizing, over-sensitive 
girls and women that are restless, dissatisfied, 
soured, and unhappy are those that have 
never, in their wishes and want-appetites, 
outgrown the early demands of the baby 
for self and sense. They are still longing 
for the caressings and the coddlings that are 
gladly given to babies, but not to grown-ups. 
Not getting what they want, they go through 
life with hurt feelings, always discontented 
with their portion of love and attention. The 
way to relief and freedom is to outgrow the 
Losing the 
Self Controlling Your Emotions 
767 
want-appetites of the baby in your wishes 
and desires, and to cease thinking so much 
about self. 
The truly self-satisfying life is 
never found in gratifying the 
senses and in satisfying the, demands of self- 
ishness. The true ideal that makes for 
health, growth, development, and happiness 
is found in changing the thoughts and desires 
from self and sense interests to life interests. 
The happy person is the one that has the 
largest number of pleasing, wholesome, 
external interests. Occupy your mind with 
worth-while subjects, not with self. Get 
away from the little and come out into the 
big. God's great and good world is so full 
of beauty! Bud and bird, stone and star, all 
have such wonderful stories to tell! Enter 
into game, play or work that will give you a 
chance for self-expression in doing-not in 
wishing and wanting. Find joy and pro- 
claim it by bringing it to as many others as 
you can. 
A Self- 
Satisfying 
Life Ideal CHAPTER LI 
THE AFFECTIONS 
Understand- 
ing Your 
Love=Life 
How every one of you warm- 
hearted and loving girls would 
laugh if I were gravely to say I must tell 
you of the need of expressing your affections! 
To love, and the desire to be loved, are as 
natural as life itself. The emotions connected 
with the love-life are the channels through 
which most of your joys and tears will flow. 
Dr. G. Stanley Hall, the noted psychologist, 
speaking of love as the master passion, says, 
"It dominates human behavior more than 
any other emotion." He also says, "A great 
majority of nervous and mental troubles are 
caused by some abnormality in the love life." 
Aware of the vital importance of these state- 
ments of Prof. Hall, and of the influence 
that a correct understanding and proper 
directing of your love nature has on your 
future health and happiness, I am adding a 
few words beyond what Prof. Shannon has 
768 The Affections 
769 
said in his talks on your social nature and 
the choice of chums. I do this because I 
desire you to receive as much personal help 
as we together may give you on this subject. 
Your affections find their first ex- 
pression in your love of mamma 
and papa. Closely associated with this 
is the love of your home and your own little 
room. Then comes your love of dolls and 
pets, and with it, perhaps, the tender joy of 
acting as "little mother" to a baby sister or 
brother. As you grow older, your love 
reaches out beyond the home and your rela- 
tives; you desire companionship with others 
beside the members of your own family, and 
friendship is born. Through the outgoing of 
your friendship, some day you will meet the 
one person dearer to you than all others, the 
one to be your mate in the most sacred of all 
human ties. Then comes with renewed in- 
tensity the love of home, the home that is 
altogether your very own, like the linnet's 
nest in the honeysuckle at your window. 
Sheltered in your little nest, your mother- 
heart reaches out for the fulfillment of the 
love that began in your doll's play, and you 
want children; and with the coming of these 
Your 
Social 
Nature 770 
Personal Help for Girls 
your own love will find its sweetest fulfill- 
ment in the most ennobling and satisfying 
service a woman may perform. 
In your life as a little girl, you 
are not likely to err in the out- 
going of your affections in the home, unless 
they become so dominating that they make 
you selfish in your love, indifferent to friends, 
and you think so much of home as to be un- 
able rightly to appreciate other places. When 
your love first reaches out beyond the home, 
it takes on the nature of an adventure. It is 
said of my friend Dr. Russell H. Conwell, 
one of America's greatest lecturers, that "he 
counts every man his actual or potential 
friend." This, combined with his love of 
"plain, everyday people," and meeting them 
half way with his kind eyes and quick smile, 
has been a leading cause of his having thou- 
sands of friends. There is a suggestion in 
this to you, in making friends. 
The Good Fairy denied me some 
of the gifts she gave to others, but 
she allowed me the privilege of knowing 
many of the world's truly great men and 
women, and bequeathed me the riches of love 
and of noble friends. All are not rich in 
Making 
Friends 
Hunger for 
Love and 
Friends The Affections 
771 
this way. In my personal heart-to-heart talks 
with thousands, the thing I found that most 
were hungering for was more love, and 
therefore more real friends. What was the 
trouble? In studying their inner lives, I was 
led to the conclusion that most of them, and 
that most of you that may be lacking in 
friends, are like an elegantly gowned and 
very fine looking lady that called on me one 
day and said she was "the most miserable 
woman in all the world." She was educated, 
refined, in good health, and had plenty of 
money. I asked the cause. She said, "No- 
body loves me!" and burst into convulsive 
sobs. She had spent her time nursing her 
hurt feelings because others refused to love 
her. I enabled her to see that to have love 
she must give love, and be a friend to others, 
instead of locking her heart away from 
people. In less than three months she wrote 
me, "I am now the happiest woman in my 
state, and all because your big love-heart 
showed me the way." Dear girls, all of you, 
remember "the way." 
Every girl wants and needs chums, 
and especially does she feel this 
need in her early teen age. Be guarded in 
Good and 
Bad Chums 772 
Personal Help for Girls 
the selection of your chums. It is those you 
love most that most influence your life for 
good or evil. I need not dwell on the pleas- 
ant associations of chumship with a girl com- 
panion that enters with you into your play, 
and into your world of thoughts and feelings. 
But the chum that is "the whisperer" is a 
danger to any young girl. 
Most girls are warned by parents 
and teachers about "bad boys," 
but few speak about the danger from girl 
chums that are bad. In fact, such a girl, 
because she is a girl, is apt to be regarded as 
"just a flighty youngster, frivolous, perhaps, 
but without real harm." If she makes a 
questionable remark or an immodest sugges- 
tion, it may not shock you as it would if it 
were from a boy. Your young mind is eager 
to know and full of questions, and she whis- 
pers things that other girls have whispered 
to her, but that you are never to tell mamma. 
Later on such a girl may try to persuade you 
to go with her "on a little lark" in which 
nothing can harm, for you'll be together. Of 
course you will have to "fib" as to where 
you go, but then "you're old enough to take 
care of yourself." Then she may take an- 
Girl Chums 
That are 
Bad The Affections 
773 
other step and tempt you to take a little wine, 
and you will become like others who drink- 
careless and indifferent for the time being, 
allowing any sort of emotion to run off with 
your better judgment and reason. Seldom 
will a girl escape the path of black despair 
that many another innocent girl has been led 
into by the chum who whispered to her. The 
Hon. John J. Freschi, City Magistrate of 
the City of New York, whose years of experi- 
ence enable him to estimate correctly the evil 
influences that particularly beset girls at the 
age of twelve to fourteen and over, says: "No 
matter to what degree, or in what particular, 
a young girl first strays from the straight 
path, she-barring the occasional exception- 
was led by another girl." 
Was there ever a girl who did 
not enjoy a secret? How well I recall the 
secrets I used to have with my chums, Anita 
and Emily, which we mysteriously indicated 
in the back of our school-books with ominous 
looking initials! "I. T. M. L." was one, a 
very special secret that all the other girls 
wanted to know about, but our little clan of 
three never divulged its meaning. I. T. M. 
I. T. M. L. 774 
Personal Help for Girls 
L. simply meant "In the mud, Lu," and re- 
ferred to a very laughable experience we 
three had in the creek, when I was the victim 
and got stuck in the mud. Such secrets do 
not harm. I always confided mine to mamma, 
who seemed to enjoy them as much as I did. 
The secrets of the whisperer are 
of a different character, and are made up of 
guesses or of partial truths relative to the 
mystery of life's beginnings. Prof. Shannon, 
in his section of this book, has told you all of 
the beautiful story of the origin of life. His 
talks are in such plain language that you as 
a little girl of four or six years could under- 
stand the sacred things connected with the 
origin of your life, or long before you would 
be reading what I am now saying. What he 
has told is what you should know of 
these things, and what other girls should read 
or have their mothers tell them. It has been 
to safeguard you from the indecent and vul- 
gar stories of the whisperer that Prof. Shan- 
non and I have talked to you in this book. 
Girls, your best, dearest and truest chum 
should be your mother; beware of the chum 
who would have you "fib" to her. 
Secrets The Affections 
775 
My first sweetheart wore a beard 
and he was thirty-five, while I 
was but five. I loved him with the tragic 
intensity of a first love, and laboriously told 
him so with penciled scrawls that I hid in 
his coat pocket. One evening he discovered 
my love missives, and my heart stood still as 
he, with only a puzzled look and without so 
much as trying to read them, threw them into 
the fire. He had scorned my love and broken 
my heart. Bitter were my tears, and I felt 
sure I would never love again, but, girls, I 
did. Really, I recovered! In fact, my fancy 
was rather violently attracted by a handsome 
and attentive loyal knight before I had fin- 
ished my grammar school days, and I could 
not even feel the crack where my heart had 
been broken. But it was not until woman- 
hood that Love really came, a love that was 
strong, and big, and real. And so, in your 
young girlhood's desire for love, even though 
you may not begin as early as I did, you 
nevertheless may also mistake false love for 
the true. Friendships with boys are desirable 
and are needful for your proper develop- 
ment, but flirtations with love-talk and 
caresses take off some of the bloom from the 
Your 
First 
Sweetheart 776 
Personal Help for Girls 
real love of your ripened womanhood, rob 
you of your girlhood's freshness and sweet- 
ness, and make you share with another what 
should be sacredly kept for the one man who 
some day will be your "other self"-your 
friend, chum, inspirer, and true mate. 
In these talks we are considering 
preparation for life, rather than 
fulfillment. The fuller details connected 
with your affections will be found in what 
Prof. Shannon and I have said in the book 
for women in the "Personal Help" series. 
After you have grown older I hope you will 
read it. I may not take the space here to even 
indicate the messages I gave on "Ideal 
Womanhood," "Marriage and Parentage," 
"Choosing Your Children," etc., all of which 
have to do with love's fulfillment in the holy 
bonds of marriage. These things you will 
need to know when you are older, so that 
when your King comes you will not be one 
of those who, in life's sweetest sacrament, 
"spoil the bread and spill the wine" through 
mistakes born of a lack of knowledge. Re- 
member, true love comes with mature 
womanhood, not before. When your King 
comes it will be different than you now think, 
The Coming 
of Your 
King The Affections 
777 
and dearer! You will walk with him apart 
in a new world of beauty in which love has 
intensified the perfume of the rose, added a 
brighter silver to the moonlight, and more 
of meaning and of sweetness to the songs of 
the birds. May yours be a love tender and 
beautiful, like that of Elizabeth Barrett for 
Robert Browning, of which it was said, 
"They met, looked into each other's eyes, and 
each there read his fate! No coyness, no 
affectation, no fencing-they loved. Each 
at once felt a heart at rest in the other. Each 
had at last found the other self." CHAPTER LII 
EVIDENCES OF GOOD BREEDING 
A woman from abroad, after 
traveling extensively in America, 
said on leaving, "Either you have an aston- 
ishing number of girls of the undesirable 
class in America, or two classes of your girls 
are dressing exactly alike." In the Old 
World, you can tell by the dress, manners and 
speech the social standing of almost everyone 
you meet. The European visitor to our 
country has no such guides, because the "ex- 
actly alike" is a part of our pride in our. land 
of equality. However, most of our girls and 
young women would not consciously and de- 
liberately choose to look "exactly alike," in 
outward appearance or dress, if they knew 
that the comparison happened to be with the 
fallen women of the underworld of France, 
from whom are adopted many of our extreme 
fashions in dress. This is one of the things 
that every wise girl will avoid doing, be- 
cause by dressing in such styles she will show 
The 
Well=Bred 
Girl 
778 Evidences of Good "Breeding 
779 
she has suffered a lack of proper instruction 
and training. No girl who would attain her 
best and highest can afford to ignore the 
niceties that are evidences of good breeding. 
I may not take up the many little things that 
are included in good manners and right con- 
duct, for in any library you can get a book 
wholly devoted to everyday courtesies, but I 
feel I should speak of a few things that stand 
out always as glaring faults. 
The ladylike girl should know 
that when she is wearing the 
Parisian fashions that come here, she is not 
always dressing as the nice French girls do. 
She may be dressing like the indecent girls 
that our foreign sisters ignore. Girls who 
wear immodest and flashy dresses must not 
be shocked if they receive insult from the 
uninformed stranger from Europe, who may 
expect to find the Parisian character that 
such dresses indicate to him. 
A girl shows her breeding by 
placing maidenlike modesty and 
decency above fashion. You need not frown, 
and think I would make you dress like nuns. 
Far from it. There is a happy medium in 
all things, and you need only be careful to 
The Matter 
of Proper 
Dress 
Maidenlike 
Modesty 780 
Personal Help for Girls 
avoid fads that are extreme and immodest. 
Any one of you would be very much morti- 
fied if a boy friend were to see you dressed 
in nothing but a chemise, yet some older girls 
see and entertain boys when they are dressed 
in a way that shows just as much of their 
nakedness, their garments being less modest 
than an ordinary nightgown. 
Now, what shall the modern girl 
do, for she can not endure being 
out of style? Girls, show your backbone, not 
in a V-shaped party dress, but in the indi- 
viduality of your dress, and do not manifest 
a sheeplike willingness to follow grotesque, 
flashy and indecent fashions. Do not follow 
any fashion, however popular, that will make 
you an immodest freak, and reveal the sacred- 
ness of your human form to the vulgar public 
gaze. Make your ideal of dress true beauty, 
which includes fitness, comfort, utility, 
charm, quality, and taste. Pattern your gar- 
ment after the style that will best display 
the beauty of your special figure, and seek 
for harmony between the color of clothes 
and your color of hair and eyes. Any girl 
who will have the independence to. do this 
will be well dressed anywhere, and attractive 
for the taste and art she reveals. 
An Ideal of 
Proper 
Dress Evidences of Good Breeding 
781 
The wearing of jewelry is gov- 
erned by the same principles as 
those that apply to dress. The well-bred girl 
does not jingle with ornaments, or load her 
fingers with rings. Poor girls sometimes 
incline to pattern after the rich. Girls often 
say, "I want what other girls have." So, 
naturally, when the daughters of the rich 
wear gold and precious stones, they desire 
them also. Recently a woman told me why 
she never wore a ring, even though her father 
was worth $175,000. She very much desired 
a diamond ring costing $200. On her way 
to buy the ring she met a good and wise 
friend who told her that while she could get 
the ring, many other girls did not have the 
money to do so, and that her wearing the 
diamond might cause some of those with 
slender purses to give to some rascal the 
highest priced jewel a girl possesses in ex- 
change for a ring of gold and a sparkling 
stone. The rich girl was horrified. She did 
not buy the diamond ring, and has never 
worn a ring of any kind, lest it might be a 
temptation to a weak sister. When engaged, 
her troth was plighted with a Bible with the 
verse marked in Ruth, "Whither thou goest 
I will go." 
Price of a 
Diamond 
Ring Personal Help for Girls 
782 
Now that I have said so much 
about dress and personal adorn- 
ment, I do not want you to get the idea that 
a girl can afford to ignore dress and her per- 
sonal appearance. The careless, slovenly 
girl is always regarded as one who is lacking 
in a proper appreciation of herself, if not in 
self-respect and in respect for others. There 
are little marks of cleanliness and neatness in 
the making of your daily toilet that always 
indicate good breeding. Doing these things 
now will make them habits that will go with 
you through life and give you that air of 
refinement that always surrounds the true 
gentlewoman. 
A girl should take pride in per- 
sonal cleanliness and in the neat- 
ness of her personal appearance. She should 
make it a habit to put on her clothes care- 
fully; keep her shoes polished; give her 
teeth, nails and hair proper daily care; and 
see that her ribbons and clothing are clean. 
It is not necessary to have your dresses made 
of costly material. A girl dressed in an ex- 
pensive gown, mussed or spotted, and be- 
decked with jewelry and flying ribbons, dis- 
pleases by her appearance, and frequently 
Respect 
Yourself 
and Others 
Carelessness 
in Personal 
Appearance Evidences of Good Breeding 
783 
destroys her chances to win the worth-while 
prizes in life that are given to Miss Neatness, 
modestly dressed in a garment that is inex- 
pensive and clean, and who has exercised 
care in the making of her toilet. 
It seems it should hardly be neces- 
sary to speak of a few faults like 
habitual spitting, hawking, and sniffing or 
snuffling, as objectionable; yet sometimes a 
girl who is otherwise very charming will do 
these exceedingly offensive things. Some- 
times a girl neglects to see that she has 
a clean handkerchief in her pocket. When I 
was a little girl, I came under the influence 
of a woman who was in deep sorrow, under a 
severe mental strain, and frequently in great 
physical pain. The one thing that I never 
forgot about her was that, under every cir- 
cumstance, she always carried a spotlessly 
clean handkerchief. I often wondered how 
it happened, but later I knew it was a habit 
formed in her early teen age. Every girl 
should rigidly avoid the unpleasant things 
I have mentioned that destroy a girl's at- 
tractiveness, frequently make her lose social 
standing, and later may cause her loss of 
business or professional standing. 
Objection- 
able Per- 
sonal Habits 784 
Personal Help for Girls 
Commanding the respect of others 
through a good appearance is but 
a minor thing unless accompanied by conduct 
and manners that show you respect yourself. 
Let your actions always be those of a lady. 
Don't hail the stranger with smile, gesture 
or waving of the handkerchief. Don't be for- 
ward, presuming or bold. No matter where 
you are or what the circumstances, show by 
your speech and action that you are well 
bred and have becoming modesty. Avoid 
loud and boisterous talk and conduct. In 
your conversation do not speak louder than is 
necessary, nor call to your acquaintances 
across the street. A sweet, low voice is al- 
ways a distinctive personal charm and a mark 
of refinement and culture, while "the loud 
laugh bespeaks a vacant mind." The girl 
who complains about having been insulted is 
frequently one who, in her walk, dress or 
conduct, perhaps unconsciously is inviting 
insult. The girl who is modest and ladylike 
is respected even by the rascal, and generally 
will find that no insults are offered her. 
I often recall a girl that almost 
every one spoke of as a little 
queen. She had high ideals, was positive 
How to 
Command 
Respect 
Put 
Yourself 
on Record Evidences of Good Breeding 
785 
and decisive, and when the Whisperer first 
approached her she was met with such a 
decided rebuff that soon it was generally 
known that this truly queenly girl would not 
permit such things. Vulgar stories were al- 
ways hushed at her approach, for she had 
put herself on record as against such talk, 
and her presence even served as a check on 
careless and slangy speech. Yet this girl 
was no kill-joy, but such good company and 
so resourceful that her society was desired 
and sought after, and care was voluntarily 
taken by her companions to avoid doing 
what would offend. Girls, you, too, each 
one of you, may be a queen, and put your- 
self on record as not permitting what is 
questionable, vulgar or indecent. 
Every one of you girls wields an 
influence. Your heart, as a good 
girl, naturally inclines you to use your in- 
fluence for the good of those with whom you 
come in contact. You will do this by not 
conforming to evil, and by taking a positive 
stand squarely against whatever is lacking in 
cleanness of act or speech. You can also do 
much to stimulate your boy friends to high 
ideals by letting them find out that to have 
A Task for 
Girls 786 
Personal Help for Girls 
your good opinion and enjoy your company 
they must live on the same high plane they 
expect you to live on as a nice, refined, lady- 
like girl. This will mean they must live up 
to your same ideal of moral conduct, and 
that as you do not smoke, drink, use profane 
language, or associate with immoral people, 
they may not if they expect to associate with 
you. If you will persist in this course all 
through your young womanhood, you will be 
doing your part as a true woman to the com- 
ing generation in changing the present double 
standard of morals into a single standard of 
social purity for both men and women alike. 
The task is before you, and is worthy and 
worth while. By insisting on one standard, 
you will add to your own happiness and help 
to safeguard the health and happiness of the 
boys and girls you influence, beside adding 
to this the wealth of a good, clean inherit- 
ance in the little lives that some day may 
call you that most blessed of all sweet names, 
"mamma" 
No one can be familiar with all 
of the many social customs and 
social usages; but in traveling in many lands 
and meeting peoples of many nationalities, I 
A Key to 
True 
Ladyhood Evidences of Good Breeding 
787 
have found that if I always governed my 
actions by the promptings of my heart in 
kindness and in gentleness of expression, I 
made no serious transgressions. So in seek- 
ing to attain the right manners that result 
from good breeding, remember you must be 
considerate, kindly in the expression of your 
purposes, and gentle in your speech and 
action. You must exercise self-control under 
stress of annoyances and dislikes; avoid dis- 
courtesy and rudeness; express kindness; and 
repress selfishness. If you will do these 
things, you will spontaneously express the 
qualities of good breeding that are a part of 
all fine and gentle womanhood. A MAKE-BELIEVE FAIRY LAND 
788 CHAPTER LIII 
MISTAKES OF SOME GIRLS 
She was a sweet girl, young and 
innocent. She had made a grave 
mistake, and when telling it, between tears 
and choking sobs she frequently cried, "How 
could I know any better? Oh, if someone 
had only told me!" Often have I heard the 
echo of these same words from other girls 
when they have done wrong. So I want to 
talk to you today in a quiet and intimate way 
about the mistakes of some girls, so that you 
and I can help those who do not know. 
Wise people carefully choose 
amusements that gratify in a 
wholesome way the very natural and very 
human craving for pleasure. But young 
people are not always wise. Tn the search 
for unfortunate girls who have disappeared, 
the police very frequently are informed, "She 
was fond of picture shows and dancing." 
The moving pictures have brought us much 
"Had Some= 
one Only 
Told Me!" 
Choosing 
Your 
Amusements 
789 790 
Personal Help for Girls 
that is instructive and inspiring, but not every 
film that is thrown on the screen is fit for the 
girl who would keep her mind filled with 
beautiful memories. There are many films 
dealing with the same themes and giving the 
same false views of life as are found in the 
trashy novels that Letty reads, whose heroines 
she defines as "good sports." There are 
others that picture vice under the pretense 
of teaching some great moral lesson. 
To wade in mud and mire to 
gather noxious weeds, when the 
meadows are full of bright and fragrant 
flowers is silly, but not as foolish as it is to 
attempt to gain lessons of morality from im- 
moral sources. The ripened judgment of 
the late William Winter, one of our very 
greatest dramatic critics, is worth your seri- 
ous thought. He says of these plays that are 
presented with the claim of teaching "a great 
moral lesson:" "It is invariably a trite and 
trivial lesson and completely superfluous. 
Fire will burn. Be virtuous and you will 
be happy. Twice two are four. That is 
the substance of the lesson. * * * Dramas 
of the kind are not presented from any moral 
impulse or with any ethical purpose. * * * 
Lessons Not 
Necessary 
to Learn Mistakes of Some Girls 
791 
They are made and presented because these 
situations commonly impress the amiable 
multitude, and are therefore remunerative in 
money. No spectator ever profited by any 
one of them, or ever will. Their only prac- 
tical effects is to fill the mind of the observer 
with images of immoral character and pic- 
tures of licentious life; to set the imagination 
brooding upon iniquities, and to sadden the 
heart with an almost despairing sense of 
human frailty and wickedness." 
Every girl who is not wealthy 
sometimes sighs and in her day- 
dreams pictures the good times' she could 
have if she were rich and had all the money 
she could spend. Every girl nowadays de- 
sires money, which is right, and later on I 
shall tell you more about money getting; but 
first we want to see, behind the curtain, the 
life of many of the envied daughters of 
the rich. Many years ago Jesus said of 
the common people, "Ye are the salt of the 
earth." The longer you live and the more 
intimately you come to know men and women 
of all classes, the more fully you will realize 
this great truth, and, as one of God's com- 
mon folks, rejoice in the riches not measured 
by the standard of mere financial rating. 
Wishing 
You Were 
Rich 792 
Personal Help for Girls 
Losing in 
the Game of 
Life 
Those who know most about the 
girls of the wealthy class tell us 
of mistakes that very many of them com- 
monly are making, mistakes that rob them of 
the best things that life holds. You who have 
health, a desire for work and an opportunity 
for play, a high ideal, and the self-mastery 
to realize the ideal, are ever the possessors 
of far deeper joys and more worth-while 
treasures. The very freshness of your delight 
and your power to enjoy because you have 
not been spoiled by too much seeing, having 
and going, are very precious possessions that 
rich girls I have known would gladly buy of 
you if money could buy such things. They 
covet the flavor they have lost through excess. 
Abby A. Sutherland, principal of 
Ogontz School for Girls, in an 
editorial in the Ladies' Home Journal, July, 
1916, says, in substance, the mistakes of some 
of the rich girls are the outgrowth of their 
careless attitude towards the free use of cigar- 
ettes and alcoholic stimulants. Possessing 
little of self-denial, and having no incentive 
to practice what little they have, many of 
these rich girls get so they can pass only a 
few hours of the day without a cigarette, and 
Cigarettes 
and the 
Punch Bowl Mistakes of Some Girls 
793 
this habit is followed by the worse one of 
wine drinking. Through their self-indulg- 
ence they become nervous, maudlin, hyster- 
ical, and when in such states they grow tired, 
unhappy or sick of life, they drink the more 
to help them to forget. And the results? In 
all of our large cities are private hospitals 
for nervous disorders of women. "An appall- 
ing number," says a writer of national repu- 
tation, "are the refuge of girls of the wealthy 
class who have drunk themselves into a nerv- 
ous state bordering upon insanity." 
Dancing has been called by 
Joseph Lee, president of The 
Playground and Recreation Association of 
America, "the first and most exuberant ut- 
terance of the joy of life." Miss Elizabeth 
Burchenal, the expert in athletic sports for 
girls, whom I have mentioned before, places 
dancing as "the best loved, most commonly 
practiced, and with greatest primitive ap- 
peal." But you must not mistake the kind 
of dancing that is meant; the dancing here 
spoken of is the classic, outdoor, gymnastic, 
and folk-dancing, all of which are very de- 
lightful exercises that tend to give grace, 
poise and rhythm. Tangoes, fox trots, bunny 
hugs, and ragging are not meant; they are 
Bunny 
Hugging and 
Ragging 794 
Personal Help for Girls 
like the questionable Parisian fashions ano 
are stamped with the same marks of in- 
decency. The public dance halls where lack 
of supervision permits these disgusting 
"dances" can not be condemned too severely. 
They are not the place for any respectable 
girl. Because some of the so-called "smart 
society" permit them to be danced in their 
homes does not make them any less objection- 
able; they also give dinners to monkeys, and 
adorn their pet dogs with jeweled collars 
when they know little children are starving. 
There is another evil growing out 
of these dances that I have just 
condemned, of which the innocent girl is not 
aware. The music and everything else ac- 
companying them does not stimulate the 
higher sentiments. Instead, when it appeals 
at all, it awakens and appeals to the lowest 
kind of sense desire. The girl who has spent 
an evening in these dances has been sur- 
rounded by unusual excitement; this has 
come through her emotions being stirred by 
the music and the embrace in the dance. On 
the way home, when away from the eyes of 
others, in this condition of her emotions she 
is less apt to stop any little familiarities that 
After the 
Dance Mistakes of Some Girls 
795 
may be attempted by her companion. Inno- 
cent fun, so far as she may understand it, 
may be quickly changed into mischief and 
diverted into dangerous channels that end in 
placing the blight of shame and disgrace on 
the unfortunate girl for a lifetime. A dean 
of girls, of large experience, told me that 
ninety out of every hundred girls that were 
led astray confessed to her that their down- 
fall occurred after the dance. She further 
remarked, "The average boy tries every girl," 
meaning by this that the average or ordinary 
city boy tries to accomplish the downfall of 
every girl with whom he associates. 
The beauty, freshness and sweet- 
ness of the flowers in every park are kept so 
by the common signs, "Don't touch the 
flowers." Each of you girls has a charm and 
sweetness far more attractive than that of 
the most lovely flowers, and you are the one 
to protect and keep this charm and sweetness 
by never permitting any familiarities. The 
wise girl will repulse even an unconscious 
familiarity at its very beginning, and then 
she will not have to stop the conscious ap- 
proaches later on. A kiss should be a sacred 
thing, and every pure girl should keep her 
Kissing 796 
Personal Help for Girls 
lips sacred with the thought of the one man 
that some day she will love with a love as 
strong as life itself. Holding hands, hugging, 
and any act that brings closeness of contact, 
are best never indulged in with the opposite 
sex, and you need to exercise caution in this 
even with your girl chums. No boy ever 
makes his first approach in an attempt to kiss 
you. He will do some little thing that will 
give him an opportunity to touch you, like 
admiring a ring and incidentally pressing 
your hand. If this is unrebuked by you, he 
makes another and more familiar advance, 
and then a bolder one, each act tending to- 
ward closer and nearer association. 
"But I like pets and caresses, and 
I don't see where there is any 
harm; Joe says he loves me so much that he 
just can't keep his hands off of me." These 
were the words of impulsive little Etta, and, 
I think, many a girl has had similar thoughts 
after her return from an evening's outing, 
when her heart has been made to beat fast 
and her cheeks glow by the love words and 
the praises of her charms by her escort. 
Girls, there is sex attraction and there is also 
genuine love, and the two are very different. 
Love, and 
Miscalled 
Love Mistakes of Some Girls 
797 
It is this sex attraction that prompts the 
familiarities, and in ninety-nine cases out of 
every hundred causes all of the gushing talk 
about your charms, and the professions of 
love. I know of boys who, for the sake of 
breaking down a girl's resistance against 
familiarities, will engage themselves to her 
and promise to marry her. Such boys end 
their engagement with their evening's fun, 
and the next night are engaged to another, 
while they laugh at the girl when away from 
her for being what they call "cheap" and 
"an easy mark." 
But you say, "I have known only 
nice boys where I live, and none 
of them ever do anything wrong." Dear 
hearts, there is danger in every community. 
Those older in years do not always speak of 
these unfortunate conditions, but wherever 
you are, you must protect yourself by avoid- 
ing places of temptation where opportunity 
is given for familiarity. Questionable and 
dangerous are the out-of-the-way cafes, the 
roadhouse refreshment rooms where ice 
cream and soda are served, "joy rides," the 
unsupervised dance, evening strolls through 
dimly lighted streets and in lonely parks 
The Eyes 
of Others 798 
Personal Help for Girls 
accepting invitations to go anywhere with 
one you do not know all about, and taking up 
with the stranger who grows "chummy" in 
the picture show or on short acquaintance. 
Govern your conduct when alone with one 
of the opposite sex by never allowing what 
you would not allow in the presence of your 
mother or your brother. Keep in mind that 
the eyes of others are always upon you. Ob- 
serving these things will prevent you sharing 
in the mistakes and misfortunes of the less 
discreet girl. 
Girls, I would not rob you of any 
of your jolly and innocent fun, 
but all of these little things I have pointed 
out are very necessary to avoid, because they 
are all steps that lead to one common end, 
the sad end of a girl losing her good name, 
and the terrible misfortune and bitter an- 
guish of being an unwedded little mother. 
When this happens, a girl knows that all the 
talk about love was merely sex attraction, 
and the wooing done to break down her 
resistance. The one who praises her charms 
and calls her so many dear and loving names 
soon dismisses her from his thoughts, and 
disowns the helpless little unnamed baby on 
Unwedded 
Little 
Mothers Mistakes of Some Girls 
799 
whom will always rest the bitter blight of 
shame. Love, real love, is never selfish, and 
never seeks its own gratification, and will 
not by word or deed do anything that will 
bring grief or sorrow on the beloved. Genu- 
ine love will never ask you to sacrifice your 
purity, your sweetness, and your true woman- 
liness. 
I would crystallize my message 
to you on the "Mistakes of Some 
Girls" by quoting a verse from an old ac- 
quaintance of mine, Fred Emerson Brooks, 
the California poet. Copy it and hang it in 
your room as a measuring stick to use on 
your good times. 
The Shadow 
of Sin 
"Pleasures are false that bring repentant pain; 
The soaring hawk, however swift he fly, 
Can not outstrip his shadow on the plain- 
That low-flung specter follows till the twain 
Alight together on the crag hard by." CHAPTER LIV 
THE GIRL WHO WINS 
The 
Good-Luck 
Clover 
In my memory there is one girl 
who stands out like a queen. This 
girl was admired wherever she went, and 
always attracted attention. Her features were 
plain, she dressed simply, and her only jewels 
were the flowers that she invariably wore. 
Because her society was always sought, a few 
girls, with envy-blinded eyes, jeeringly said 
she wore flowers to cover her good-luck 
clovers, and that she won because she was 
born under a lucky star. Admirers by the 
score said she excelled all other girls in 
beauty. But all of her critics and admirers 
were mistaken. The favoritism and the hon- 
ors that were hers were not due to four-leaf 
clovers, lucky stars, or beauty, but were due 
to her having a heart that was good and 
kind, and a strong and charming personality. 
Continued success of any sort does not hap- 
pen by luck or by chance. The mind and 
the character of a strong and attractive per- 
800 The Girl Who Wins 
801 
sonality are back of every great winner in 
the world. 
When your grandmother was a 
little girl, marriage was regarded 
as one of the main objects of every girl's life. 
Today you have this same mating instinct, 
but you have in addition to this a desire to do 
something with the ability you have gained 
through your more liberal education. Op- 
portunity as never before in history will be 
yours, in common with all other girls, when 
you are a woman. So many noble men will 
have been killed in this world's war there 
will be a call for you for service outside of 
the home. You want to prepare to win. 
Your success or failure will depend on you, 
not on surroundings or opportunity. 
All that I have talked about in 
the previous chapters has had to 
do with making you the one who will win 
out in life. Yours is the power of choice. 
If you neglect to care for your health, if you 
drift along in an indifferent, listless way, and 
do little or nothing to conquer the lower 
nature, or to attain the power to Do and to 
Be, you will not lay the foundation stones on 
which success and happiness are built. You 
Preparing 
to Win 
Laying 
Foundation 
Stones 802 
Personal Help for Girls 
will be weak in body and in mind, and such 
a one is not wanted in the big world of af- 
fairs, is not a favorite in society, and is not 
the good, kind, agreeable, sunny, happy per- 
son that you would want as your closest com- 
panion throughout life. Now for a few sug- 
gestions that may help you to be one of the 
winners, and tc have the constant and un- 
failing "good luck" that comes from realizing 
and attaining all that you are capable of 
being. 
You can not accomplish nor really 
enjoy anything without power. It 
requires power to work, to think, to feel, to 
enjoy. If you lack energy, you must culti- 
vate it. True pleasure depends on activity. 
You can not even enjoy the pleasure of rest 
without first having earned it. Do you know 
the joys of work? If not, begin today. To 
the girl who has nothing to do, even pleasures 
become a burden, and life loses zest and 
flavor. Purposeful, productive work brings 
joy; idleness results in weariness, and in the 
weakening of will power. In developing 
energy for power, learn to work with regular, 
even stroke, and do not put more force than 
is needed into what you are doing. 
The Joys 
of Work The Girl Who Wins 
803 
Fifty=Three 
Toothpicks 
Girls usually have enough energy, 
but much is wasted in useless ac- 
tivity, and so there is need of directing it into 
purposeful channels. I recall a lesson I 
learned in controlling my energies. It may 
suggest a need to you. I was busy talking to 
a caller, and unconsciously to me my fingers 
were busy also, breaking toothpicks. I know 
the exact number, for, on leaving, my friend 
quietly rebuked me by saying, "You are an 
energetic little body, but you can use your 
energy to better purpose than in destroying 
fifty-three toothpicks." Think of the calm 
control of the one who counted, and of my 
waste of power! 
Energy, when set on fire by the 
emotions, becomes enthusiasm. 
You want enthusiasm, no matter what your 
life may be. Show that you have a live, 
active interest in what you are doing. Put 
snap and "go to it" into your work. Throw 
your whole heart into whatever you under- 
take. Your enthusiasm will stir others. 
Show that you are alive and awake, and not 
sleep-walking with your clothes on. The 
winning girl has always what salesmen call 
"pep" and "ginger." She could sell vinegar 
Pep and 
Ginger 804 
Personal Help for Girls 
over a counter with such enthusiasm that you 
would buy it instead of the rose-water you 
came to buy. 
In contrast to the girl who wins 
is the girl who whines. Never 
whine over what you have to do, or complain 
of your trouble or your pains. Anyone can 
do that, or be agreeable when everything is 
pleasant; but it takes the courage of a truly 
"good sport" to meet defeat and the dis- 
agreeable with a smile. It is the strong 
nature, the thoroughbred, that is full of 
resolute cheer when tasks are hard and things 
go wrong. Get fun out of 'whatever you have 
to do. Emerson says, "The soul's highest 
duty is to be of good cheer." The girl who 
whines and says "I can't" is a failure, even 
when her feet are planted on the Road to 
Success and her body is facing in the right 
direction. There is no "go" in her, and 
opportunity has no meaning for her. 
How I used to dislike washing 
dishes and peeling potatoes! In 
my little book, how I poured out my inner 
soul's grievances against such drudgery! 
Then came larger vision and I saw what I 
was doing as an adventure that had been 
The Girl 
Who 
Whines 
Romance of 
Pots and 
Pans The Girl Who Wins 
805 
shared by my cave-woman grandmother who 
cooked by the open fire, and by all the women 
who have ministered to the race until my 
day, and it became almost a sacrament! I 
discovered the beauty of making romance 
out of drudgery, and that all big things de- 
pend upon commonplace little things. One 
of our presidents has said, "There are many 
forms of success, many forms of triumph, 
but it is the intimate and homely things that 
count most." The real winner takes hold of 
any task with both hands and makes it count 
for one in life's big score of attainment. 
The girl who wins is kind to the 
stranger as well as to loved ones. 
My own life was strongly influenced in this 
direction in my earliest young womanhood 
by the results of my efforts to bring gladness 
to two lives. Business required me occasion- 
ally to call on two men. One, an extensive 
promoter, was blind. The other, who had his 
eyesight, seemed always overburdened with 
work and worry, and more blind than the 
promoter to the beauty of the world. My 
sympathy went out to both. Desiring to 
throw sunshine into the darkness that shut 
them in, T sought to speak to them in the 
A Breath 
of Violets 806 
Personal Help for Girls 
kindest and cheeriest way I knew. One day 
I had to wait in the outer office before the 
promoter could see me. When he was at 
liberty, I heard him say to his private secre- 
tary, "Tell Meadow-lark I am ready." An- 
other day the overburdened man, to my 
surprise, asked, "How can you always wear 
fresh violets?" I told him I did not. He 
seemed puzzled, and mumbled something 
about always smelling them when I called. 
I have often watched a lady friend 
of mine, who is one of America's 
most gifted readers, and tried to analyze the 
secret of how she captivates every audience. 
She has a way of her own in crossing the 
platform and smiling that wins the heart of 
her audience before she has said a word, and 
I have never known it to fail. Many persons 
with unusual talents fail to win because they 
do not make an attractive bow before the 
public. Be natural, be independent, and be 
yourself. Instead of trying to be like every- 
one else, be different wherein you are differ- 
ent. Instead of conforming your character 
to what others may expect, conform to what 
is right. Express your own individuality, 
and do not cramp your soul by trying to fit 
Making 
Your Bow The Girl Who Wins 
807 
your ways and manners to the pattern of 
other people. Dr. Luther H. Gulick, in 
speaking recently to the National Educational 
Association, voiced a thought that will be 
well for you to bear in mind, as a suggestion 
to help you to be a winner. "My special 
place in the world," he said, "is due to my 
diff erences, rather than to my likenesses to 
other people. 
Pre-eminent above all things in 
the winner is Character. What 
then is character? Character is the sum 
total formed by mastering and attaining the 
qualities of mind and heart that I have out- 
lined in all of my talks, and more besides 
about which I have not had space to speak. 
Character is built by what you do, and is 
made up of what you are. Character makes 
you keep your promises; makes you take 
pains, and do your work in the best possible 
manner; makes you faithful and reliable; 
makes you honest, loyal, truthful, and depend- 
able. Character is having worthy ideals and 
living up to them as closely as you can. We 
all have our faults, and fall short of attaining 
perfection in that beautiful thing called 
Character. You know wherein you lack. 
Select Your 
Slogan 808 
Personal Help for Girls 
Select your slogan. There are many beauti- 
ful cards with inspiring extracts from Steven- 
son, Phillips Brooks, Browning and others, 
from which you can select a few choice lines 
to enhearten you. I like one by Henry 
van Dyke that begins: 
"Be glad of Life because it gives you the chance to love 
and to work and to play and to look up at the stars." 
Another one with an inspiring ring to it is: 
"Then away with longing and ho for labor! 
And ho! for love-each one for his neighbor; 
For a life of labor and study and love, 
Is the life that fits for the joy above," CHAPTER LV 
GETTING THE MOST OUT OF LIFE 
On a street in Paris, where I have 
often walked, is a magnificent 
statue of a girl who got the most out of life. 
A similar statue is erected to her memory in 
front of the great cathedral at Rheims, and 
most of the cities of France pay a like loving 
tribute to her. History records her as "the 
most wonderful girl that ever lived." So 
fondly is she remembered that I never passed 
a monument erected to her memory in France 
without seeing at its base fresh flowers, 
placed there by those who hallowed her 
name. Today she dwells so vividly in the 
hearts of the French soldiers that they claim 
her spirit is with them wherever the battle is 
raging most fiercely, and, as of old, she is 
commander-in-chief at the front in the din 
of the charge with its withering hail of fire. 
Today France is France because 
of her, and over five hundred 
million Frenchmen who have 
lived and died since her time have been 
The Most 
Wonderful 
Girl 
What 
France 
Owes to a 
Girl 
809 810 
Personal Help for Girls 
blessed as a result of her dauntless deeds of 
heroism. Yet she was always a girl, tender, 
forgiving and lovable. On the field of battle, 
after her most splendid victory, she forgot her 
own triumphs to hold in her lap the head of a 
dying enemy and speak tender words of com- 
fort as his spirit was "crossing the bar." 
Bloodshed and suffering distressed her, and 
sometimes in battle she did not draw her sword 
for fear she might take an enemy's life. She 
loved her home, her mother, her friends, and 
her simple peasant life. When she had 
crowned the king at Rheims and restored his 
lost kingdom, she asked nothing for herself. 
This wonderful girl, who is the only soldier 
in history who held supreme command of a 
nation's armies at the age of seventeen, was 
canonized as Saint Joan of Arc by the church 
of her faith. Mark Twain, who has told her 
life story in all its simplicity and sweetness, 
says of her, "She is the Wonder of the Age." 
After considering the unfavorable circum- 
stances of her youth, origin, sex, early sur- 
roundings, etc., he further says, "She is easily 
and by far the most extraordinary person the 
human race has ever produced," THE MAID OF ORLEANS-THE GIRL OF VISION 
811 HAPPY DAYS 
812 Getting the Most Out of Life 
813 
Great was Joan of Arc as a sol- 
dier, but it is not brawn and 
muscle that people think of when they speak 
of Joan's greatness. They think of her as 
the girl with vision in her face, and love 
her for the greatness of her soul, and those 
big, magnificent qualities of affection, cour- 
age, loyalty, patience, compassion, unselfish- 
ness, faithfulness, and spirituality. Hers was 
a rare and a truly great soul, with an un- 
conquerable spirit that never surrendered, 
and a heart so big and forgiving that she 
went to the stake with loving and endearing 
words and prayers for those who had treated 
her so shamefully. She never wavered in 
her faith that God directed all she said 
and did. In restoring the kingdom to France 
she had fulfilled her divine mission, had done 
God's will. His peace dwelt in her tried and 
tired soul and comforted her as the flames 
closed in about her, and her dying lips kissed 
the cross. Read the story of her life as told 
by Mark Twain. When you go to New York 
City, visit the Metropolitan Museum and see 
the wonderful painting that Bastien-Lepage 
has made of this girl of vision. She is in her 
garden listening to the Voices and seemingly 
The Girl 
With a 
Vision 814 
Personal Help for Girls 
talking with the angels, who are giving her 
God's commission to win back the kingdom 
for France. 
If you would get the very most 
out of life, you, too, like Joan, 
must have vision and a heart filled with God's 
love. You remember, in the first chapter, 
when we started on our quest of beauty and 
a long and happy life, I told you that my 
girls did not die in the last chapter, but that 
they lived and wanted to. I also promised 
to be your comrade, and, as best I could, 
help you to prepare for life so you might 
realize in fullest measure the joys and bless- 
ings of fulfillment in later years when you 
would feel the self-reliance and the power 
that come from being "the master of your 
fate, the captain of your soul." So far we 
have been considering how you might be the 
master of your fate, but to get the very most 
out of life, you must also be the captain of 
your soul. 
Sometimes, in the Twilight Land 
of Sleep, strange pictures weave 
themselves in the fabric of my dreams. One 
of these was a picture of how queens are 
crowned, I saw a throne room, and in it 
The Captain 
of Your 
Soul 
How Oueens 
Are 
Crowned Getting the Most Out of Life 
815 
two thrones. Above the throne were,angels, 
and they held aloft a crown. I saw a woman 
enter who would be Queen. She approached 
the throne dressed in regal splendor, and 
when seated I heard her say, "I will be a 
queen, and I will wear a crown." But though 
she said this often and with great emphasis, 
the angels did not bestow the crown. Then 
came another, simple, modest and sweet. She 
quietly and with seeming reverence took a 
seat upon the throne, and her lips moved as 
if in prayer as she bowed her head. Then I 
heard her say, "Give me, O Father, of Thy 
indwelling life. Let it be all and in all, that 
I may be worthy to be crowned." And the 
angels drew nearer, and smiled as they kissed 
her cheek and said, "She has the vision. She 
has heard and understood the divine com- 
mand." And they placed the crown on her 
forehead and she was made a queen. 
This is the vision you must have 
if you would be the captain of 
your soul. There is a power higher, stronger, 
greater than your good chum Will; a force 
that stands as an invincible power behind all 
right willing, right thinking and right doing. 
It comes from a deep, loving fellowship with 
A Real 
Queen 816 
Personal Help for Girls 
our dear heavenly Father, that awakens your 
soul and quickens your spirit to their highest 
and holiest manifestations. Then indeed do 
you become a real queen, crowned as a child 
of the King of Kings, and it is yours to draw 
from the spiritual universe according to your 
daily needs. The way to receive and re- 
alize this divine power is plainly and beau- 
tifully told you in the Gospels and in the 
Epistles. The Psalms, and Isaiah, and other 
books in the Old Testament, plainly fore- 
shadow it also. Read them daily, especially 
the Gospels and the Epistles, and the words 
will grow dearer and sweeter with a closer 
knowledge of them, while your soul will 
grow stronger and more beautiful by feeding 
on this spiritual food. Here, if you will 
obey, is the way that leads you to the supreme 
source of strength for all of your attainments, 
and that will enable you to get the most pos- 
sible out of life. 
Every girl I ever knew wanted to 
be beautiful, and had a feeling of 
distress when she lacked in physical charms. 
Elbert Hubbard said of the rather plain 
Jane Austen, "She was good-looking. She 
looked good because she was" I have a 
Sweetest 
Flowers of 
the Soul Getting the Most Out of Life 
817 
secret for you that I want you to remember, 
so that you will be one of the girls of whom 
I told you in Chapter II, who, in looking in 
her looking-glass, looked through. There is 
a beauty which, as you have heard before, is 
only skin deep, and there is another beauty 
which finds its origin in the soul. Soul 
beauty will illumine the plainest countenance 
and give its possessor a radiant face. There 
have been thousands of women, far short of 
perfection in form and in feature, who had 
hearts so tender and full of love and service 
and lived so gloriously and triumphantly, that 
they received, from all who knew them, 
greater admiration than physical beauty ever 
commands. It is character and the outer 
radiance of the soul's beauty that makes the 
face of Jane Austen or any other beautiful. 
Lack of soul makes an otherwise perfect face 
unlovely. So get the vision beautiful and 
grow flowers in your Soul's Garden that will 
pour out a sweet fragrance of goodness, kind- 
ness, honesty, faith, hope and love. With the 
awakening of your spiritual consciousness 
these will bloom and give a subtle charm that 
will make you attractive and beautiful in the 
highest sense, no matter how great may be 
your handicap of physical plainness. 818 
Personal Help for Girls 
The desire for beauty of feature 
is normal, but lack of it should 
not make you unhappy, for some of those who 
have possessed it in fullest measure have re- 
garded it as "an unpleasant and unprofitable 
gift." Physical beauty at best lasts but a 
short period of time, and then, to the woman 
who has beauty only, comes the agony when 
beauty begins to fade. The greatest beauty 
the world may ever know, if she lacks in 
beauty of mind and soul, will fade, wrinkle 
and grow ugly in old age. I once knew a 
woman who was so beautiful that my young 
eyes never tired of feasting on her charm of 
form and feature, but later years brought bit- 
terness and hate in her heart, and a blight 
and deformity to her soul. When last I saw 
her her face was so hideously ugly that I 
could not bear to look on it. Just as time 
sweetens the tone of a fine violin, the passing 
years add to the hallowed sweetness of a soul 
that is beautiful, and more clearly impress 
on the face the radiance of the inner glory. 
If you are inclined to chide the 
Good Fairy and feel she has with- 
held her choicest gift when she denied you 
beauty of feature, I would have you listen to 
Beauty of 
Soul 
Advantages 
of Being 
Plain Getting the Most Out of Life 
819 
the testimony of Lillian Russell, for many 
years the most conspicuous beauty in Amer- 
ica. She recently told in an article she wrote 
for the Star Company Service for newspapers, 
"Why I Would Rather Not Be a Beauty." 
She told how a beauty is not as much loved 
as is the plain woman, because of the envy 
that tinges the friendship of those of her own 
sex; while the love she awakens among men 
is mostly among the "addlepates," and that 
it is largely an offering to their vanity in 
wanting "to go round with a looker." 
Let me quote a few of the exact 
words of Lillian Russell and then 
have you weigh the advantages between phy- 
sical and spiritual beauty. "If the privilege," 
she says, "of being born again were granted 
me, I should ask to be a plain woman. My 
life would be a more comfortable one. I 
believe I should be happier. * * * The 
woman that is not a notable beauty has more 
chance for true love, for happiness and self-ex- 
pression than has the beauty. * * * Clever- 
ness and brains last longer than beauty. * * * 
Beauty is always a target for criticism. It 
calls attention to imperfections of mind, of 
art, of character. If I had been born homely 
Hardships 
of Being 
a Beauty Personal Help for Girls 
820 
I would have been an artist. * * * And I 
should certainly have been happier in the 
life of the studio. * * * The girl who 
escapes beauty escapes many of the tempta- 
tions of life * * * for the woman who 
has a pretty face they are legion. * * * 
The broken heart is after all the end of 
beauty, unless it has been fortified by an 
active brain." 
Joan of Arc had vision, and she is 
known as "the most wonderful 
girl that ever lived." To get the most out 
of life you, too, must have vision. No stream 
can rise above its source. Your power and 
influence in the world, and what you will get 
out of life, are determined by the height of 
your inspiration. All that I have said thus far 
has been to enlarge your vision of life and 
enable you to choose a mastering ideal high 
enough to govern and fine enough to realize 
all of the richest values of life. You will not 
rise above the level of your motives, and 
what you will get out of life will rest on the 
height at which you place your ideal. The 
motives I have given you for conduct are 
every one needful and essential, but remem- 
ber, the supreme motive, the motive that will 
Choice of 
a Mastering 
Ideal Getting the Most Out of Life 
821 
keep you true to a mastering ideal, is that 
which springs from a heart aflame with God's 
love. 
You need vision to keep you under 
the spell of your mastering ideal. 
Vision will vividly hold before you the inner 
picture of your best self and of the queen 
you expect to be as a woman. This is not to 
be a picture for you to admire as a beautiful 
dream, but a thing that becomes so deeply 
centered in all of your desires to have, to do, 
and to be, that it is a living reality that con- 
stantly acts as a compelling force to your will, 
and a refining and guiding power that gov- 
erns all your thoughts, feelings and actions. 
Our Saviour said, "I am come 
that ye might have life; that ye 
might have it more abundantly." All I have 
said has been in order to prepare you for this 
message of the one great and true Master, 
that you might have life and have it more 
abundantly. I have tried to show you how 
to grow a strong body, build right habits, 
train your will and develop those elements of 
mind and heart that will make for you a full 
and happy life. I have aimed to show you 
how to acquire those qualities that make for 
Your Need 
of Vision 
Life More 
Abundant Personal Help for Girls 
822 
you a strong, winning personality, and tried 
to make the way plain and simple. Nothing 
given is impossible for you to achieve and 
realize. While all of you can not be classed 
as beautiful, or become brilliant or famous, 
each of you can become energetic, careful, 
persevering, truthful, reliable, kind and lov- 
ing, and by expressing these be one of my 
dear girls who will triumph in life's battles 
and win life's most satisfying rewards. 
When at the Panama-Pacific Ex- 
position, I passed daily for sev- 
eral months the equestrian statue, "The End 
of the Trail." The Indian rider, bent and 
exhausted, was leaning on the neck of his 
pony. The faithful animal showed that his 
strength, like his master's, was fully spent. 
This statue always depressed me; it suggested 
too strongly the end of life's joyous activities. 
I was glad that the Fountain of Energy was 
very near with its dashing waters of power; 
that the California sky was so full of tur- 
quoise; that the yellow and purple pansies 
grew so near the statue of the Indian and his 
pony that their dear little faces always puck- 
ered their brows at me as they looked up 
into the sunlight as I passed by on my way 
End of the 
Trail-and 
Beyond Getting the Most Out of Life 
823 
to the nearby Educational Building. I was 
glad that the Court of the Universe was but 
a few steps beyond, so close that I could hear 
the inspiring music of its band, and through 
its massive arches catch a glimpse of the 
majestic Tower of Progress, from whose 
statued pinnacle the illuminations of the 
mighty searchlights were always the last to 
fade at night. Beyond, as a fitting back- 
ground, was the broad expanse of San Fran- 
cisco Bay, with the vast Pacific barely hid- 
den by the narrow peninsula of the Marin 
hills. I rejoiced in the placing of the statue 
of the Indian, for to me all the surroundings 
spoke of the harmony in all of life's activi- 
ties, in which there is neither end nor vale- 
dictory. 
In life there is no standstill. We 
reach one milestone only to pass 
on to the next. Across today always falls the 
shadow of yesterday and the promise of the 
cunrise of tomorrow. Eternity is not in the 
future-eternity is now. You have the key 
to a more abundant life, and know how to 
achieve what we planned to build. You 
have the vision of a goal that will enable you 
to make opportunity master opposition and 
A Higher 
Goal 824 
Personal Help for Girls 
score a success in life. But there is a higher 
goal that takes into account that, to the 
growth of the mind and the soul, there is no 
"End of the Trail." "Time, purpose, op- 
portunity and achievement mean 'Move 
on!'" The Fountain of Energy is near you 
and its dashing waters of power would speak 
to you of achievement through effort; the 
open sky is above you; heartsease pansies 
are to be found at your feet right where you 
are; at your side is the Educational Building 
with its limitless stores of worldly wisdom; 
the music in the Court of the Universe in- 
spires you, and within its massive court are 
found truth and companionship, with all 
that will enrich your mind and heart and 
soul; and beyond, with its background the 
beautiful expanse of bay and the distant hills 
barely hiding from view the limitless waters 
of Eternity's ocean, in majestic beauty rises 
the Tower of Progress, showing the achieve- 
ments of the good and the great, and with its 
shining pinnacle of light ever reminding you 
of the possibilities of your eternal progress. 
Would you be a real heroine and 
secure for yourself the very most 
that life can give you? Then you must get 
The Hero= 
ines of 
Today Getting the Most Out of Life 
825 
the vision that all your building is not to 
increase your powers to minister to the self, 
but to give you the greater capacity to serve 
and to find the soul's highest happiness-the 
supreme happiness of making others happy. 
Your personality and character will count 
most when they are great enough and broad 
enough to overlap the lives of others with 
sweetness and brightness, and inspire them to 
higher and better things. Loving service to 
others will bring your soul its greatest joy. 
Right where you are today is the place and 
the time to begin to help, and to make others 
happy and yourself happier. 
Never in history have there been 
so many good and big opportuni- 
ties as there are today for a girl 
to find a place in the world's tomorrow. War 
and the ravages of war have let down the 
bars in trade, industry and profession, that for 
centuries have been man's exclusive domain. 
The girls who apply themselves with earnest- 
ness in the School of Idle Moments, who 
faithfully follow the suggestions I have given, 
and at all times strive to do as well as they 
know, will take a very active and prominent 
part in the world's tomorrow. There will be 
V.4-7 
Your Place 
in the 
World's 
Tomorrow 826 
Personal Help for Girls 
so many opportunities and so much for you 
to do! Begin now by giving of yourself to 
others, and so get ready for the largest serv- 
ice. Whether you are called to do the little 
things or the big things makes little differ- 
ence; the necessary thing is that you be prop- 
erly prepared to play the game of life and 
do whatever comes to your lot in a great way. 
The first bit of verse I remember 
reading was Leigh Hunt's "Abou 
Ben Adhem." In my young mind, full of 
imagination, it made a deep impression-the 
bright angel; the Book of Gold; Ben Ad- 
hem's name not among those written by the 
angel as one who loved the Lord; Ben Ad- 
hem's request that the angel write his "as 
one who loves his fellowmen;" and the won- 
derful next night, when the angel came again. 
The First 
Great Com= 
mandment 
"And showed the names whom love of God had blest, 
And lo! Ben Adhem's name led all the rest." 
No one spoke to me about it, but in my 
child's heart there sprang an earnest desire 
that I, too, might be known to the angels as 
one who loved my fellowmen. There were 
few people in my world as an only child, so 
I had to let my first love go out to the wild Getting the Most Out of Life 
827 
flowers, the bees and the birds, my dog 
Ginger and my special favorite, a big, good- 
natured Brahma rooster, and these were 
enough to let my heart get the start of my 
head in growing. Somehow the heart has 
remained in the lead, and I am not sorry. 
When I grew older I learned that the first 
great commandment was, "Thou shalt love 
the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with 
all they soul, and with all thy mind," and that 
the second was like unto it, "Thou shalt love 
thy neighbor as thyself." To attain the love 
spoken of in these commandments you will 
need to realize your worthiest ideals, and 
express the most in the way of deeds of active 
goodness and loving kindness to others. 
If you have followed step by step 
and made a living reality of my 
words, you are now a girl of vision and pre- 
pared to demand of Life, as she dances be- 
fore you lithe of body, fair of limb and with 
rose garlands in her hair, that she let you 
wear the Magic Wishing Ring. Glorious are 
the joys awaiting you in an achieved woman- 
hood! Great is your call to serve in the 
world that needs you! Respond worthily and 
give of your best, and trust in the power from 
Life and 
Her Wish= 
ing Ring 828 
Personal Help for Girls 
above for strength and guidance, for yours 
is the illumined way, radiant with vision and 
fulfillment. 
Together we have journeyed a 
long way on the same trail, each 
in pursuit of the same Greatest Adventure. 
I must now quit speaking, but we shall be 
united still in a bond of sympathy and re- 
main close chums, for while our interests may 
differ, each must travel on the same road to 
attain the highest goal. I, too, make wishes 
of Life, and have, like you, desires and 
dreams. Today, in leaving you, I am wishing 
that I might have been permitted to do more 
in the way of personal help to just the YOU 
who are reading this page. If I have omitted 
your special need and can further help you, 
write me a letter in care of our publishers, 
The S. A. Mullikin Co., Marietta, Ohio. If 
I do not reply promptly, be sure to write 
again, because sometimes a letter gets lost. 
If you should ever meet me in my travels, 
speak and make yourself known to me as one 
of my girls, for otherwise I can not know you. 
It may chance that a few of my 
messages are too old for you to- 
day; but you are one of my growing girls, 
A Personal 
Word to 
Just You 
Let Me 
Talk to You 
Often Getting the Most Out of Life 
829 
even your dresses of a few months back show 
it, and I know that very soon what I have 
said will fit. When I was a very little girl 
I so loved my big "Mother Goose" book! 
I used to tug it for hours under my arms, 
waiting for the moment when I could get 
Mama to read it. I would listen in rapt and 
awed silence until she had read from cover 
to cover, then sigh deeply and say, "Oh, read 
it again!" And now-you in whose hand this 
moment rests the only part of me by which 
I can speak to you-if you should feel, as 
so many of my dear girls have felt when 
about to part from me in the flesh, that you 
want to hold me close a little longer, then 
let me say to you, "Come back to me as often 
as you feel this need, to the places where I 
have spoken to you about the cultivation of 
your charms and graces. Let me talk to you 
as often as I may, that the loving counsel in 
these personal helps may linger in your heart 
as fruitful seed in a warm and fertile soil, to 
blossom forth in loveliness and blessing 
through all the days of what I hope and wish 
for you, a long and beautiful life." 
"From the heart-and may it go 
to the heart!" So Beethoven 
wrote on the fly leaf of his great Mass. And 
From Heart 
to Heart 830 
Personal Help for Girls 
so, love has been the motive back of all I 
have said to you, a love burning with the de- 
sire to serve you in the largest possible way. 
May my message, warm and tender from my 
heart, reach your heart and inspire you to 
count yourself as one more added to my dear 
and wonderful girls who, earnestly and joy- 
ously, are preparing to get the most out of 
The Greatest Adventure-Life, FIFTH DIVISION 
Heart to Heart Talks to Young Men 
BY 
PROF. T. W. SHANNON, A. M. 
AND 
MRS. LOUISE FRANCES SPALLER 
831 Prof. Thos. W. Shannon 
832 CHAPTER LVI 
THE FOUR PERIODS OF LIFE 
In relation to the development and func- 
tions of the sexual system, a man's life is 
divided into four rather distinct periods- 
boyhood, adolescence, the reproductive period, 
and old age. 
The first period of life extends 
from birth to the dawning of ado- 
lescence, and is from fourteen to 
sixteen years in length. In this period, the sex 
organs are undeveloped, the glands are, in a 
special sense, inactive, and the sexual impulse 
largely unawakened, as it is during the cor- 
responding period among the males of the 
lower animals. 
Until recently it was believed that the sex- 
ual glands of a boy had no function to perform 
in the economy of life until after puberty. 
But if the testes of any male animal be re- 
moved before puberty, the animal will not 
develop as it would if the act of unsexing had 
not been performed. The same is true of the 
Boyhood- 
From Birth 
to Ado- 
lescence 
833 834 
Personal Help for Men 
human male. This is because the sexual 
glands, during the entire period of boyhood 
make a secretion which is taken into the blood, 
and supply a valuable internal energy or vital 
force which stimulates growth and develop- 
ment. 
Sexual excitement during this period of 
life will interfere with normal nerve function- 
ing and cause the dissipation of energy, and 
may seriously undermine the foundations of 
health. 
Adolescence is a period of transi- 
tion from boyhood to manhood. 
It extends over a period of ten years, from 
the time a boy is fourteen or fifteen until he 
is twenty-four or twenty-five. It is attended 
with physical changes, transformation in char- 
acter, and certain moral dangers. During 
this second period of life it is vitally impor- 
tant that the young man receive accurate, ethi- 
cal instruction from his father, a lecturer, or 
a safe and practical book. Knowledge related 
to sexual development at this critical period 
of life would save thousands of young men 
from serious mistakes, from social dangers and 
diseases, from much suffering and regret. 
Adolescence 
-Boyhood 
to Manhood The Four Periods of Life 
835 
The first two or three years of ado- 
lescence are called puberty. On 
an average, puberty begins in the 
American boy at about the age of fifteen. In 
the Southland, puberty occurs a year sooner 
than in the North. In the same climate, 
puberty comes a year earlier in the colored 
race than in the white. Any undue excite- 
ment of the sexual life will cause puberty to 
dawn earlier. Early adolescence is always a 
decided disadvantage. Puberty begins with 
the boy's ability to form semen and closes 
when he is first capable of producing fertile 
semen. This is usually from the fifteenth to 
the seventeenth year. 
A few years later his arms, legs and all his 
muscles round out, giving him the appearance 
of a mature man. Meanwhile his voice has 
changed from a high-pitched treble to a clear, 
ringing tenor, or from the alto of boyhood to 
the deep bass of manhood. His shoulders 
have become broad and square, and beard 
makes its appearance on his face. He can now 
eat three big meals a day and wakes up hungry 
at night. He becomes fond of athletic sports, 
and it is well for him to take an active part in 
outdoor games and sports, as such physical 
exercises make larger and better muscles, 
Puberty- 
First Years 
of Ado= 
lescence 836 
Personal Help for Men 
stronger nerves, and promote a healthy activ- 
ity of the bodily glands, helping him to 
develop into a strong all-around man. At this 
period, it is also well for him to devote part 
of his energies to some constructive or inter- 
esting work that will employ his hands and 
use his mind in making things and in learning 
how to do some of the many things with which 
men occupy their time. He now begins to 
take an interest in associating with girl ac- 
quaintances, and, if he be wisely guided, such 
associations will aid him in developing his 
social life. 
These physical, social and mental changes 
in the young man are due to the fact that the 
sexual glands are secreting the vital energy 
previously mentioned. 
During puberty, the rapid growth of the 
sexual organs and their secretions bring about 
a consciousness of sex. This is an entirely 
natural experience, but if a young man is 
ignorant of its significance or has received 
improper information he may misuse his sex 
functions and so injure himself as to seriously 
impair the manly vigor he might otherwise 
attain. If he is correctly informed, possesses 
moral conviction, and exercises self-control, 
puberty is a period of great promise. The Four Periods of Life 
837 
During the later years of adolescence the 
young man is not matured. While it would 
be possible for a young man at the age of 
seventeen or eighteen to reproduce himself it 
would be a misuse of the sex life. If he mar- 
ries and becomes a father at seventeen, it 
would not be natural or wise. Such a step 
would most likely lead to poor health and he 
would be the father of delicate and sickly 
children. 
The reproductive period of a 
man's life should last from twenty- 
five to thirty years, extending from maturity 
to the fiftieth or even to the fifty-fifth year. 
About the time a man reaches the half-century 
mark, sexual desire begins to diminish and the 
sex organs become smaller and weaker, in- 
dicating that the natural period of fatherhood 
is coming to a close. Some men are incapable 
of reproduction at this age. Many well- 
preserved men are still fertile at the age of 
seventy, but this does not prove that father- 
hood is wise at such an advanced age. Nearly 
all women become permanently sterile at the 
age of forty to forty-seven. Men who marry 
women from two to seven years younger than 
themselves would therefore cease to become 
The Repro= 
ductive 
Period 838 
Personal Help for Men 
fathers between the ages of forty-two and fifty- 
four. 
The years between twenty-four and fifty 
are those of greatest reproductive possibilities 
for men. As soon as possible, then, after a 
normal young man becomes twenty-four-if 
his education is completed and he is in a posi- 
tion to support a family and can find a con- 
genial companion-he owes it to himself, to 
society, and to his future wife and posterity 
to marry and become a home-builder. There 
is no calling more noble, honorable and 
worthy of true manhood than marriage. A 
home consists of a father, a mother and a rea- 
sonable number of well-born or cheerfully 
adopted children, bound together by cords of 
unselfish love for the purpose of developing 
ideal citizenship and building sterling char- 
acter. 
Old age is the fourth and last 
period of life. If a man has received a fair 
heredity and has lived in harmony with the 
laws of nature during childhood, youth and 
maturity, barring accident and unavoidable 
diseases, this fourth period should not be less 
than thirty years in length. These should be 
years of health and happiness, mental and 
Old Age The Four Periods of Life 
839 
moral development, pleasure and service. 
But, alas! how many who are permitted to 
reach their half-century mark spend their re- 
maining days in one prolonged dirge of aches, 
pains, physical and mental handicaps, a bur- 
den to themselves and others, and in nearly 
all cases because they violated the sacred laws 
of sex and otherwise disobeyed the laws of 
health. 
It is the desire of the author to give to the 
thousands of young men who shall read this 
volume such practical and vital information 
concerning their sexual nature, organs, and 
functions as will enable them to understand 
themselves and to conserve and rightly utilize 
their sex life in the development and mainte- 
nance of man-power, that they may enjoy the 
priceless boon of happy, contented manhood, 
and come to the fourth period and through 
this to life's close, healthy, happy, useful, hon- 
ored and loved. CHAPTER LVII 
THE REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS 
In this chapter we are to discuss the anatomy 
and physiology of the sexual system. To make 
the discussion as instructive and helpful as 
possible, we show a chart illustrating, in part, 
the urinary and sexual organs of a man's body. 
The urinary system consists of 
two kidneys (No. 1), two ureters 
(No. 2), the bladder (No. 3) and the urethra 
(No. 4). The kidneys are located just above 
the small of the back and on either side of the 
spinal column. The ureters connect the kid- 
neys with the bladder. The urethra extends 
from the base of the bladder to the anterior 
end of the penis. 
The kidneys take up from the 
blood a liquid substance contain- 
ing many impurities called urine. The 
ureters convey the urine to the bladder, where 
it is stored, until we wish to discharge it from 
the body. The urethra has two functions. In 
its relation to the urinary system, it is used as 
The 
Urinary 
System 
Functions 
of These 
Organs 
840 The Reproductive Organs 
841 Personal Help for Men 
842 
a duct through which the urine is expelled 
from the body. Its function in relation to the 
sexual system will be explained later. 
The reproductive organs consist 
of a number of organs, some 
located on the outside and others on the inside 
of the body. In all plant and animal life the 
reproductive organs are spoken of as the essen- 
tial organs. They are considered more impor- 
tant than any other set of organs, because their 
function is to perpetuate the species. The 
reproductive organs of man are none the less 
important in the economy of the human 
family. 
The penis (No. 5) is composed of 
three divisions or parts bound together by con- 
nective tissue. The upper side of the penis is 
composed of two bodies of erectile tissue filled 
with innumerable small blood vessels. These 
two erectile bodies lie side by side and form 
the bulk of the organ. Under sexual excite- 
ment the blood rushes into the penis, produc- 
ing an erection. Below is a much smaller 
body of a spongy nature. The urethra pene- 
trates this spongy substance from the body to 
the end of the penis. 
The Repro= 
ductive 
Organs 
The Penis The Reproductive Organs 
843 
Variation 
in Size 
The dimensions of this organ vary 
in different persons. In the flaccid 
or soft state, the organ varies from an inch and 
a half to five inches in length. In the erect 
state, it varies from four to six or seven inches. 
No one should take the size of this organ as a 
criterion by which to judge either his virility 
or his reproductive capacity. Quack doctors 
lay great stress upon the small size of this 
organ as evidence of great injury done by the 
practice of masturbation. Since the organ 
varies so much in different men, and since so 
many men are ignorant of these variations, this 
offers to the quack doctor favorable oppor- 
tunity to prey upon the earnings of young men. 
Of the more than one thousand men who have 
written to the author annually about their 
sexual problems, more than one-fourth were 
worried about the size of this organ. Men 
have postponed marriage for a quarter of a 
century and others have been bled by quacks 
for sums of twenty to five hundred dollars, 
all because they were ignorant of the natural 
variations in this organ. Solidity, firm- 
ness, and the ability to produce and main- 
tain an erection, are nature's evidences of 
virility. Personal Help for Men 
844 
The Glans 
The spongy body of the penis, con- 
taining the urethra, expands at the anterior 
end into what is commonly known as the head 
of the penis, or the glans. The glans is cov- 
ered with a thin, red membrane containing 
numerous nerve endings. At its base is a 
groove and a ridge containing many small 
glands. These glands form a cheesy, milk- 
colored, foul substance, called smegma. If the 
glans is not kept clean by daily washing, the 
accumulated secretions emit an offensive odor 
and produce irritation and inflammation. 
At birth, and often in mature man- 
hood, the end of the penis is covered by a loose 
skin or sheath called the prepuce or foreskin. 
In young boys the prepuce often extends fully 
a half inch beyond the end of the organ, and 
has a constricted opening. When the opening 
of the prepuce is small, so that the prepuce 
can not be passed back over the head, or when 
the prepuce adheres to the head of the penis, 
the condition is not normal and should have 
the attention of a surgeon. 
In the young boy, if the smegma is not re- 
moved every day, or if the prepuce is long 
and tight so that the smegma can not be re- 
moved, it causes irritation and inflammation. 
The Prepuce The Reproductive Organs 
845 
To relieve the irritation leads to the frequent 
handling of these parts and may further lead 
to the disgusting and health-destroying habit 
of self-abuse. The irritating secretion collect- 
ing under a tight foreskin, and the failure to 
keep the parts clean, are the most common 
causes of innocent boys forming this habit. 
Occasionally young men write or say that their 
memory does not carry them back to a time 
when they were not addicted to this practice. 
This is the way they began self-abuse. 
For many centuries the Jews have 
practiced the custom of circumcising their 
boys when eight days old. This is a very sim- 
ple operation, consisting in drawing the pre- 
puce forward and with a sharp knife or pair 
of scissors clipping off a part. This leaves the 
opening large and allows the prepuce easily 
to pass back, and permits the smegma to be 
removed. As the boy passes through ado- 
lescence and the organ enlarges, the prepuce 
gradually recedes, leaving the glans exposed 
to the friction of the clothing. In this way 
the head of the penis becomes less sensitive 
and is easily kept clean. Due to this custom, 
the Jews are very free from the practice of 
self-abuse. Their organs develop normally. 
The Remedy 846 
Personal Help for Men 
They are healthier and live longer, as a race, 
than do we. It is strange that we have not 
adopted circumcision as a universal custom. 
The most advanced physicians are emphati- 
cally in favor of it and recommend it as a 
hygenic measure even when there is not a 
physical necessity. After circumcision much 
less care is required to keep these parts clean, 
and the glans is not super-sensitive to local 
irritation, so that the dangers of self-abuse are 
greatly lessened. 
Underneath the head of the penis 
is a ligament called the frenulum. 
It is really a part of the prepuce. It is at- 
tached to the lower part of the glans. Some- 
times this ligament is too short and tends to 
pull the glans downward. When this condi- 
tion is quite noticeable, the frenulum should 
be clipped by a doctor. The external opening 
of the urethra is called the meatus. Some- 
times, not often, the meatus is much smaller 
than the urethra. In some cases the stream 
of urine in the urethra is much larger than 
the meatus. This causes a pressure that may 
tend to create sexual excitement. This condi- 
tion can be easily corrected by a physician. 
The 
Frenulum The Reproductive Organs 
847 
Underneath the penis is a sack or 
bag called the scrotum (No. 6). The walls 
of the scrotum are rather thick, being com- 
posed of four layers of tissue. In a normal 
condition the scrotum is drawn up rather close 
to the body. Self-abuse and other harmful 
forms of sexual practices cause it to become 
long and flabby. 
Within the scrotum are suspended 
two ovoid glands called the testes 
or testicles (No. 7). These are the most im- 
portant organs in the sexual system. In the 
adult they are one and a half inches in length, 
one and a fourth inches in width and one inch 
in thickness, but they vary in size in different 
men. The size does not determine the sexual 
powers of the man. Firmness and solidity are 
evidences of normal conditions. A soft, 
stringy, tender condition indicates abnormal 
testicles. 
One of the glands is usually larger and 
swings lower than the other one. Some young 
men become alarmed when they first discover 
this perfectly natural condition. We have 
known them to pay out hundreds of dollars to 
quack doctors in an endeavor to equalize the 
size and swing of these glands. 
The Scrotum 
The 
Testicles 848 
Personal Help for Men 
Undescended 
Testes 
The testicles have their origin 
within the abdomen, near the kid- 
neys. A few weeks before birth they begin 
to descend, usually reaching the scrotum be- 
fore birth or a few days after. One or both 
of the testes may be arrested in this descent 
and not reach the scrotum. The undescended 
testis is often detained in the groin canal, and 
can be felt as a small, movable object. When 
this is the case, the gland may be brought down 
by proper pressure, or by a simple operation. 
On one lecture tour we had sixteen young men, 
in confidential interviews, admit that they had 
only one descended testis, and three had both 
testes undescended. In a number of cases the 
young men were greatly embarrassed and wor- 
ried over their condition, thinking that they 
were unfit for marriage and possibly sterile. 
Contrary to common opinion, a person with 
one descended testis is as virile and fertile as 
if both had descended. Where one has been 
entirely destroyed, the other performs the 
function of both, making it possible for the 
man to become a father. Sometimes the unde- 
scended gland may develop quite as well as 
the descended one, in which case there is no 
reason why it may not be fertile. Where no The Reproductive Organs 
849 
inconvenience is experienced, the undescended 
gland should be left where it is. 
The testes are very sensitive, and, if in- 
jured or inflamed, they produce agonizing and 
depressing pain. Such injuries are sometimes 
incurred by boys and young men thoughtlessly 
striking at each other's organs. 
Connected with each testis is a spermatic 
artery (No. 9) that supplies the gland with 
blood. The name of this artery indicates that 
the testis generates the sperm cells from the 
blood supplied by this artery. Leading from 
each testis is a spermatic vein (No. 10). The 
vas deferens (No. 11) is a duct starting from 
a testis, passing through the groin canal and 
connecting with the urethra at the base of the 
bladder. The two ducts are called the vasa 
deferentia. Within the scrotum the vas 
deferens, spermatic artery, and spermatic vein 
are all enveloped in a thin covering, forming 
the spermatic cord, which easily can be felt. 
Where the spermatic cord connects with the 
testis, it becomes a mass of coiled ducts and 
blood vessels, forming what is known as the 
epididymis. This mass of spongy blood ves- 
sels and ducts may be felt on one side and on 
the top of each testis. The main body of the 
testis is composed of many conical lobes. It 850 
Personal Help for Men 
is within these lobes of the testes that the little 
spermatozoa (No. 16) are formed. A sperm 
cell, or spermatozoon, consists of a head, neck 
and tail. It is about 1-200 of an inch in length 
and is somewhat the shape of a tadpole, except 
that it is much longer in proportion. When 
one of these sperm cells unites, under suitable 
conditions, with a germ cell or ovum from the 
other sex, a new life begins its existence. 
In addition to the seminal secretion and the 
sperm cells, the testes are now known to form 
an internal secretion, of which more will be 
said in another chapter. 
The vas deferens (No. 11), on 
leaving the scrotum, passes up through the 
groin canal and over the bladder, where it 
becomes dilated into a sacklike enlargement, 
called the ampulla (No. 12), which narrows 
to a small duct as it passes into the prostate 
gland and enters the urethra. Each of the 
vasa deferentia forms an ampulla. The two 
converge into a common duct before entering 
the urethra. 
At the back and base of the blad- 
der are two bladderlike organs, 
called the seminal vesicles (No. 13). Until 
The Ampulla 
The Seminal 
Vesicles The Reproductive Organs 
851 
recently it was believed that these were reser- 
voirs in which was stored the seminal secre- 
tions from the testes. Instead of this, they are 
mostly filled with a substance which is their 
own secretion, and but a small part of the 
sperm from the testicles is found in the 
vesicles. Each vesicle has a duct which joins 
with the vas deferens to form the ejaculatory 
duct. 
Under excitement, the secretions of the 
testes, containing sperm cells, are sent through 
the vasa deferentia and deposited in the am- 
pullae. The seminal vesicles secrete a fluid 
containing albumen, and alkaline salts. It 
appears that the vesicles are secreting all of 
the time, whether one is sexually excited or 
not. 
Surrounding the deep urethra and 
the neck of the bladder is a very 
important gland into which the ampulla and 
seminal vesicles enter. This organ, about the 
size of a horse chestnut, is called the prostate 
gland (No. 14). It is sometimes called the 
heart of the sexual system, and is intimately 
associated with the act of reproduction. 
The 
Prostate 
Gland 852 
Personal Help for Men 
The 
Cowper's 
Glands 
A short distance from the pros- 
tate gland are two small glands, 
called the Cowper's glands (No. 15), whose 
ducts empty into the urethra. 
Formerly it was believed that 
semen was formed by the testes 
alone. In recent years eminent 
German and American physicians have dis- 
proved the old theory. It is now known that 
the semen is composed of secretions furnished 
by the testes, seminal vesicles, prostate gland 
and the Cowper's glands. It also appears 
quite evident that the testicles have two dis- 
tinct functions-the secretion of the sperma- 
tozoa, and the formation of an internal 
secretion. 
When a young man reaches the age of 
eighteen or twenty, the spermatozoa are 
formed at intervals in the lobes of the tes- 
ticles. There they remain in a dormant con- 
dition until, under sexual excitement, they 
become active and are released by the lobes 
and sent out through the ducts of the testicles, 
the epididymis and the vasa deferentia into 
the ampullae. At the moment of the sexual 
orgasm, the sperm cells in the ampulla, to- 
gether with the secretions from the seminal 
Special 
Functions 
of the 
Sexual 
Organs The Reproductive Organs 
853 
vesicles, the prostate and the Cowper's glands, 
are expelled from the body through the 
urethra. The sperm cells appear to be released 
from the lobes of the testicles under sexual 
excitement only. However, it should be re- 
membered that the formation of the sperm 
cells is not dependent upon sexual excitement. 
Upon the release of a quantity of sperm cells, 
the testes begin to generate other sperm cells, 
which will remain in the lobes of the testicles 
in a healthy condition for months. But they 
are in a dormant or sleepy condition. Their 
retention by the individual depends upon the 
avoidance of all sexual excitement. If one 
would retain the spermatozoa in his body, he 
can not engage in reading lascivious literature, 
telling or listening to obscene stories, spooning 
and sexual embrace. 
The testicles also secrete a vital internal 
secretion. This secretion is formed continu- 
ously and is independent of sexual excitement. 
When passion is kept under proper control, 
this secretion is absorbed by the blood, and 
assimilated by all parts of the body, stimu- 
lating the growth, development and functions 
of every organ of the body, faculty of the mind 
and attributes of the social and moral natures. 
Under sexual excitement, part of this internal 854 
Personal Help for Men 
secretion, together with thousands of released 
sperm cells, is sent over into the ampullae. It 
now makes little difference whether the ac- 
cumulated semen is thrown off from the body 
by an immediate orgasm, or later by an invol- 
untary emission, the effects are practically the 
same. When the internal secretion and sperm 
cells, formed by the testicles, are forced by 
sexual excitement from the testicles, they are 
no longer of any service to the individual, and 
by a voluntary or involuntary emission these 
vital materials will sooner or later be ejected 
from the body. 
The seminal visicles, without any 
relation to sexual excitement, are 
continuously secreting an albuminous, alkaline 
substance. No sperm cells are formed by the 
seminal vesicles and only a very limited num- 
ber of sperm cells are ever found in them. 
The secretion they form does not sustain the 
vital relation to the physical, mental, social 
and moral well-being of the individual that 
the two secretions of the testicles do. Its chief 
function appears to be stimulating and main- 
taining the life of the sperm cells. The semen 
of a vigorous, mature man, placed in a vessel 
and kept at animal temperature, will show a 
The Seminal 
Vesicles The Reproductive Organs 
855 
vigorous flagellation of the spermatozoa for 
six to eight days. The secretions of the semi- 
nal vesicles stimulate and maintain the life 
of the spermatozoa. 
The secretion of the prostate is 
very similar in composition and 
function to that of the seminal vesicles. In 
the plan of Nature one appears to be the sup- 
plement of the other. Unlike the seminal ves- 
icles, this gland secretes only under sexual 
excitement. Both voluntary and involuntary 
emissions leave the seminal vesicles empty. 
When once they are emptied, it requires days 
for them to be refilled. Should intercourse 
take place while the vesicles are empty, the 
excitement would cause the prostate gland to 
secrete a supply of nourishment for the army 
of spermatozoa. 
The Cowper's glands secrete only 
during strong sexual excitement 
The secretion is alkaline in reaction and re- 
sembles egg albumen, the white of a raw egg. 
It is of a jellylike, sticky consistency. The 
special function of this secretion is to neu- 
tralize the acid condition of the urethra, due 
to the periodic passage of urine, which is 
acid in reaction. The acid condition of the 
The 
Prostate 
Gland 
The 
Cowper's 
Glands 856 
Personal Help for Men 
urethra would seriously injure the sperma- 
tozoa, during their passage from the body, 
were it not that these little glands discharge 
their alkaline secretion just ahead of the gen- 
eral discharge of semen. Several drops of 
this albumen-like secretion may sometimes 
come out of the urethra during sexual excite- 
ment or after the excitement has passed away. 
Many young men have been alarmed in see- 
ing this and thought that they were "losing 
a vital fluid." Quacks have preyed on the 
ignorant in this way and told them that if not 
treated they would sink into general debility 
and lose their reproductive power. A knowl- 
edge of what this secretion is and that it is a 
part of Nature's wise plan of procreation 
should put the mind at rest. 
The secretion from the seminal 
vesicles, together with that from the prostate 
gland, at the moment of the sexual orgasm, is 
poured into the urethra. Here these secre- 
tions combine with the secretion from the 
testicles. The mixture from these three sex- 
ual glands forms what is called semen. 
The foregoing facts should be read and 
studied until they are clearly understood. A 
knowledge of the structure and function of the 
The Semen The Reproductive Organs 
857 
reproductive organs will enable the reader in- 
telligently to care for this part of the body, 
acquaint him with the effects of abusing it, 
and help him to appreciate the explanation 
of many sexual problems to be discussed in 
other parts of this book. CHAPTER LVIII 
THE SOURCE OF MANHOOD 
In a former chapter we learned 
that life is divided into four peri- 
ods in its relation to the nature and functions 
of sex. The sex nature has three rather dis- 
tinct functions-development, attraction and 
reproduction. In this chapter we will study 
sex in its relation to the development and 
maintenance of manhood. 
You have noticed the many differ- 
ences between the stallion and the 
gelding. The gelding, when a young colt, was 
deprived of his testicles by a process called 
castration. The stallion retained his testes and 
they formed an internal secretion which was 
absorbed by the blood and carried to all parts 
of his body. None of this energy was created 
by the gelding. Compare the prancing stal- 
lion with dilated nostrils, eyes flashing with 
fire, high arched neck, long, heavy, flowing 
mane and tail, broad and deep chest and hip 
muscles, with the gelding that is patient and 
Three 
Functions 
of Sex Life 
Beneficial 
Influence 
of Semen 
858 The Source of Manhood 
859 
has so much less of spirit. The stallion, with 
his elastic bearing, his abundant life, com- 
mands the attention and admiration of all be- 
holders. Turn him loose with ten to fifty 
geldings in a field and he will be the master 
of the field. To what is this difference due? 
To this question there is but one answer. The 
stallion was not deprived of the power to 
secrete this internal sexual energy which gave 
him his perfect development, his elastic bear- 
ing, his fire and his vitality. 
This time we will take two full brother 
chickens, hatched the same day. Place them 
in the same pen, give them the same food, 
water and shelter. When they are only a few 
days old we will caponize one of them and 
leave the other to grow up naturally. How 
will they differ, when they are two years old? 
The other one, the rooster, will have devel- 
oped a large, rich, red comb, ear lobes and 
wattles, long, glossy, beautiful flowing neck 
and tail feathers, and a strong, long and sharp 
spur on each leg. The capon will resemble 
an old hen that has not laid an egg in twelve 
months. There is but one explanation for the 
difference between these two birds. The secre- 
tions from the generative glands of the natural 
bird enabled him to develop those physical 860 
Personal Help for Men 
masculine characteristics of perfection. The 
unsexed bird was deprived of the stimulating 
and nourishing influence of this sexual life, 
and his masculine characteristics remained un- 
developed. 
If food is scarce, the natural bird runs down 
grasshoppers, scratches up worms, catches in- 
sects, and makes his living. The unsexed bird 
squats around and starves. We account for 
the energy and industry of the first bird by the 
presence of the sex life, for the laziness and 
inactivity of the second by the absence of this 
vital energy. 
If an old hen and her brood of chickens are 
present and you throw them some food, how 
will these birds act toward this family? The 
natural bird steps politely forward, picks up 
a bit of the food with his beak, drops it, invites 
the old hen and her chickens to help them- 
selves. He stands there with his beak pointed 
at the food; turning his head first in one direc- 
tion, then in another, looking up at the hen 
and glancing down at the chickens, he con- 
tinues to talk to them. He will repeat these 
acts of true masculine interest until they are 
satisfied. If something is left, he will eat it. 
If not, he will go out and make his own living. 
If the family is not properly fed, he divides The Source of Manhood 
861 
what he finds with them, even if he has to go 
hungry. If the other bird is hungry, he lazily 
walks up to the food, gulps it down, showing 
little or no interest in the hen and chickens. 
The gallantry and courtesy of the first bird 
are due to the influence of the sex life; the lack 
of these masculine qualities in the second bird 
is due to its absence. 
If a hawk or an owl appears upon the scene, 
the natural bird lines up for battle; the other 
bird skulks under the nearest floor. The cour- 
age of the first and the cowardice of the second 
are due to the presence of the sex life in the 
first and the absence of this energy in the 
second. 
The thoughtful reader is inquiring, "Can 
these lessons learned from the birds and horses 
be applied in all of their details to the human 
family?" A positive affirmative reply is the 
unqualified answer of the medical profession. 
Centuries ago many tribes unsexed 
the boys who were born in or sold into bond- 
age. Such boys were called eunuchs. The 
contrast between the virile man and the eunuch 
is as striking as that which we observed be- 
tween the rooster and the capon, the stallion 
and the gelding. Only a few, scattering short 
The Eunuch 862 
Personal Help for Men 
hairs appear on the eunuch's face. His voice 
never changes into the deep bass tones of a 
man. His shoulders never become broad and 
square. He is never sent to battle, for he is 
naturally a coward and would run from the 
enemy. He is never found at the head of a 
business enterprise. He is rarely sent to 
school. He takes no interest in children, has 
no concern for a home and can not experience 
admiration and love for woman as a sweet- 
heart. 
From these illustrations we see that every 
organ of the body, every faculty of the mind 
and every attribute of the social and moral 
natures is stimulated and strengthened in its 
development by the presence of the sexual 
secretions. Since men are no longer made 
eunuchs and the sex life is so essential to ideal 
manhood, why have we so much namby- 
pamby, wishy-washy, aimless, shiftless, pur- 
poseless, stunted, dwarfed, unambitious, ne'er- 
do-well manhood in the land? Why so many 
young men hanging around poolrooms, 
gambling dens and brothels? Why so few of 
our young men going through high school and 
college? Why so many business failures and 
so much corruption in office, so few who are 
fearless in reform and active in the church? The Source of Manhood 
863 
Not a few of these problems are due to a 
prodigal waste of this energy. 
Newton N. Riddell, says: "Here 
is an electric plant in operation. 
Flowing out from the dynamo is a current of 
electrical energy which can be utilized in four 
ways. Connect the current with a motor in 
a machine shop or on an electric car and the 
energy is converted into power running the 
machinery or propelling the car. Now pass 
the same current of energy through the small 
wire of electric globes and you convert it into 
light. Again, pass it through a wire under 
heavy resistance and you convert it into heat. 
Now ground the wire and the energy is dis- 
sipated in the earth. In the first three uses 
of the energy it produced good results and 
represented value. In the last case we wasted 
the energy and produced no good results. 
"Suppose that we now divide the energy 
into two currents instead of one and pass the 
energy out over two wires. Convert one-half 
of the energy into power, or into light, or into 
heat, and ground the other half. Tn either event 
you have only one-half the power, light or heat 
you had before. Why? You have wasted 
one-half of the energy. Still again, suppose 
An 
Illustration 864 
Personal Help for Men 
we divide the energy into three equal currents, 
converting the first into power, the second into 
light and the third into heat. Now we are 
using the energy in three valuable ways. No 
energy is wasted; all of it is wisely used. Now 
ground your currents and you will have 
neither power, light nor heat. Here is quite 
an up-to-date electric car. It is midwinter, 
cold and dark. The car is propelled by elec- 
tricity, lighted by electricity, and heated by 
electricity. The wire breaks, the current is 
grounded and all the energy is wasted. What 
are the results? The car stops, the lights go 
out and cold takes the place of heat. 
"We will now apply this illustra- 
tion to sexual energy. The sex 
glands are human dynamos, life 
generators, energy creators. The energy pro- 
duced by these glands may be used in four 
ways. It can be directed to the muscles and 
built into the cells and tissues; retained in the 
blood, giving vitality and insuring health. 
This is physical power. This energy can be 
built into the brain, giving intellectual bril- 
liancy. It can be directed into the emotions, 
sentiments, and feelings and be expressed as 
soul warmth. Or energy can be grounded, 
Power, 
Brilliancy 
and Soul 
Warmth The Source of Manhood 
865 
dissipated, wasted. Just to the extent this lat- 
ter is done will one fail to develop and main- 
tain physical power, mental brilliancy and 
soul warmth." 
The mind has the power to stimu- 
late to more than usual activity 
certain glands which take up secretions from 
the blood. Take for example the lachrymal 
glands surrounding the eye. You are in com- 
pany with a host of friends, having a delight- 
ful social time. A messenger boy rushes in 
and hands you a telegram. You hurriedly 
tear open the envelope, jerk out the message 
and eagerly read it. No sooner do you com- 
prehend the message than your friends ob- 
serve tears trickling down your cheeks. You 
have not read the message aloud, but they 
begin to inquire if your mother is dead. 
Mental sorrow and grief send blood rushing 
to those glands, stimulating them to unusual 
activity. 
You have had nothing to eat for hours. 
You have been hard at work in a stone quarry, 
a machine shop or on a railroad track. Now 
you come into the presence of a well-spread 
table laden with good things, a basket full of 
luscious fruit, or a big, ripe watermelon, cut 
Influence of 
the Mind 866 
Personal Help for Men 
in two. What happens? The usual answer 
is, "Your mouth will water." Why? The 
usual answer is, "The sight of that food, fruit 
or melon." Only indirectly is the answer true. 
The unusual activity of the salivary glands 
in the mouth in producing saliva is due to the 
stimulating influence of a large quantity of 
blood sent to them by the mind. You remem- 
ber how these things tasted in the past and how 
you enjoyed eating them. You long to get to 
the food. Before you take your place at the 
table, the alarm of fire is heard. Turning, you 
look through your window and see your 
neighbor's house on fire. Quick as thought 
you take your mind off the food and rush out 
to that burning building. For an hour you 
try to save life or property and to extinguish 
the flames. Fire extinguished, excitement sub- 
sided, crowd dispersed, you find your mouth 
dry and parched. 
These illustrations have been drawn out at 
length that you may be able to understand 
clearly and to appreciate fully the influence 
of the mind upon the sexual glands. The 
normal and abnormal secretion and distribu- 
tion of the sexual secretions are similarly 
under the control of the mind. No normal 
man can engage in lascivious thoughts, read The Source of Manhood 
867 
lascivious books, look upon pictures of im- 
properly dressed women, indulge in obscene 
stories, engage in spooning or in many of the 
modern forms of dancing and maintain normal 
mental relations to sex. We are not discussing 
eunuchs, or a worn-out roue, but human nature 
as we find it in the average man under forty. 
If by any form of sexual excitement for a 
given time, the sex glands secrete five times 
as much semen as would have been formed 
under normal conditions, the body will retain 
and use only one-fifth; consequently, four- 
fifths will be ejected from the body, volun- 
tarily or involuntarily. If, under sexual 
excitement, during any given time, the sex 
glands secrete ten times as much semen as 
nature would have formed under normal con- 
ditions, the body will retain and use only one- 
tenth of this energy. The nine-tenths, that 
never should have been taken from the blood, 
will be wasted, voluntarily or involuntarily. 
The body is limited in its capacity to retain 
and use the sexual secretions. The excess of 
semen gorges the sexual cavities and ducts, 
presses upon the nerves of sexual sensibility 
and leads to involuntary emissions, self-abuse, 
prostitutes, or marital excess. Hence it fol- 
lows that the proper control of the mind is 868 
Personal Help for Men 
the key to the solution of man's sexual prob- 
lems, and to control his mind, he must avoid 
all unnecessary causes of sexual stimulation. 
We are often asked, "Is a conti- 
nent life advisable or possible for 
a healthy young man? Can he, like the stal- 
lion and other male animals, maintain a con- 
tinent life during the ten years of adolescence, 
from fourteen to twenty-four, or even longer, 
without weakening or losing his virility?" In 
the- not very distant past, medical journals, 
books and men advised prostitution as a sexual 
necessity for young men. Judging from some 
of the letters received from young men, not 
all of the doctors have discontinued such 
advice. However, in recent years, the medi- 
cal profession has discovered that there is no 
more necessity for sexual gratification in men 
than in women; that both alike can live con- 
tinently. Today no up-to-date doctor advises 
young men to visit prostitutes as a sex neces- 
sity. There is no scientific foundation for 
such advice. Three hundred and sixty of the 
foremost medical authorities of leading Amer- 
ican universities recently signed a statement 
to this effect: "There is no evidence that sex 
Continence 
Possible and 
Advisable The Source of Manhood 
869 
abstinence is inconsistent with the highest 
physical, mental and moral efficiency." 
Uninformed and immoral doctors 
teach "the sex necessity lie" to 
young men, who in turn tell others, and each 
of these tell still others, and in this way thou- 
sands of men are falsely educated in matters 
of sex. 
As before stated, the sex glands 
have two secretions. One is the 
internal secretion and has directly to do with 
the development of the body and the creating 
of energy, endurance and will power. The 
other secretion contains the male cells that are 
essential in the creation of a new life. The 
years of adolescence is Nature's time to make 
a young man into a fully grown man. If he 
would attain perfect manhood he must live a 
continent life during this period. He must 
control and direct the sex impulse to mind and 
body building and to attaining the highest 
degree of manhood possible, so that, when he 
marries, he may have the joy of being the 
father of well-born, healthy children. Sexual 
health and virility are destroyed by the abuse 
of the sex functions, never by continence. 
The Sex 
Necessity 
Lie 
The Sex 
Glands and 
Virility 870 
Personal Help for Men 
First Proof 
Favoring 
Continence 
Once a young man, in one of our 
prominent universities, offered the 
following objection to continence in the single 
life "If I place my healthy arm in a sling 
and keep it there for one year and do not use 
it at all, will I not find, upon removing it from 
the sling, that I have temporarily lost the use 
of my arm?" "Certainly," was our reply. 
"Now, suppose that my arm had remained in 
that sling, without exercise, for ten or twenty 
years, might not its nonuse for such a period 
result in the permanent loss of its use?" Again 
he received an affirmative answer. Then he 
asked, "Is not exercise necessary to the health 
and functioning of all of the organs of the 
body, including the sexual organs?" Once 
more I answered, "Yes. You keep your mus- 
cles in tone by exercising two or three hours 
a day, but are you acquainted with the fact 
that the sex glands from the beginning of 
puberty get exercise not only two or three 
hours a day but twenty-four hours a day for 
every day in the 365 days in a year? The sex 
glands are always active in producing an in- 
ternal secretion which keeps them in the same 
healthy and perfect physical condition that 
the muscles are kept in by daily exercise. If The Source of Manhood 
871 
you will bear in mind that the sex glands are 
about as constantly active as your heart, you 
will not need to be distressed about there being 
any possibility of them becoming weak from 
lack of exercise." 
The seminal vesicles are continu- 
ally secreting a watery solution of 
albuminous substances and alka- 
line salts. This occurs independent of any 
special sex excitement. Occasionally there is 
an over-accumulation of this secretion and 
Nature has prepared a kind of safety valve 
arrangement by which the surplus is involun- 
tarily thrown off. This is called a natural, or 
involuntary emission, and is commonly re- 
ferred to as a "wet dream," or "night losses." 
Under normal conditions this does the indi- 
vidual no harm. It is Nature's method of re- 
lieving a gorged condition. If Nature had 
not made provision for this involuntary escape, 
then a voluntary act would have been neces- 
sary in order to throw off an occasional sur- 
plus. The fact that nearly all men occasion- 
ally have involuntary discharges is our second 
proof that continence is possible and com- 
patible with good health and virility. The 
Second 
Proof 
Favoring 
Continence 872 
Personal Help for Men 
difference between a natural or voluntary, and 
an involuntary emission, will be discussed 
fully in another chapter. 
The procreative cells and some- 
times the semen are spoken of as 
the seed. Whenever life is embodied in seed 
and thrown off from the parent body, it repre- 
sents a sacrifice. When the lower forms of 
plants embody their life in seed and use it for 
procreative purposes, they immediately die. 
The sacrifice costs them their life. When the 
higher forms of plants and trees embody life 
in their seed, the petals fade and fall. If a 
young tree attempts to bear fruit a year or so 
too soon, the embodiment of life in seed is 
followed by retarded growth-a sacrifice. 
When a tree in middle life overbears, there 
is suspension of activities for years and lia- 
bility to death-a sacrifice. 
The embodiment of life in seed, in the act 
of propagating their kind among the lowest 
forms of animal life, is followed by immediate 
death; so great is the sacrifice. The breeding 
season of higher forms of life is often followed 
by a period of sluggishness. The seed of a 
fine stallion is so valuable that artificial im- 
pregnators are now used so as to conserve his 
Third Proof 
Favoring 
Continence The Source of Manhood 
873 
vital energy. Every reproductive act in the 
marriage life that adds a new being to the 
world's population, represents a sacrifice. The 
prodigal waste of life embodied in seed in the 
human family, in youth, in married life, is the 
greatest and most tragic secrifice known. 
Here are two married people, great stu- 
dents, literary geniuses. The husband wishes 
to build a great lecture; his wife wishes to 
write a book of real merit. In fact, they are 
now engaged in these special efforts. They 
are young, vigorous and healthy. They have 
sexual desire. Shall this desire be gratified? 
If they refrain from the conjugal embrace, 
they will find themselves prepared mentally 
for their very best literary effort. If the con- 
jugal embrace means a sacrifice, there is no 
such thing as sexual necessity, either in single 
or married life. Tn married life the desire for 
children makes a sacred privilege and duty, 
but it is not a necessity. If a necessity appears 
to exist, it is of man's creation. 
If continence were impossible or injurious, 
the Bible would not condemn adultery. All 
laws govering body, mind and soul are un- 
qualifiedly in favor of continence. From the 
dawning of puberty to old age, the testicles 874 
Personal Help for Men 
and the accessory glands perform their natural 
functions in the production and maintenance 
of perfect manhood, and at the proper time 
they are prepared to perform their part in 
the creation of a new life. This is Nature's 
way of maintaining sexual health and vigor. 
Sterility results from a life of incontinence 
and not from a life of continence. 
A larger number of men are struggling to 
overcome their propensities and live cleanly 
today than in former years. The teaching of 
sexual hygiene, personal and social purity is 
having a most wholesome effect. Such teach- 
ing needs to become more general among both 
men and women. 
The organs of reproduction create 
vital energy which is available for 
service in stimulating growth and develop- 
ment in every department of man's complex 
nature. It can be utilized in at least three dif- 
ferent ways. It is for the reader to decide 
what use he will make of it. By keeping the 
mind pure, eating only wholesome food, tak- 
ing plenty of exercise, breathing deeply, 
sleeping in a properly ventilated room, spend- 
ing a liberal amount of time in God's great 
out-of-doors, this creative life will vitalize the 
Means of 
Physical 
Attainment The Source of Manhood 
875 
blood, ward off sickness and disease, give elas- 
ticity and strength to the muscles, and give 
physical endurance and power for efficient 
service. Many weaknesses can be overcome 
and defects corrected by habitually conserving 
this energy and wisely directing it. All train- 
ers of athletes understand and appreciate these 
principles. 
Would you like to be a good stu- 
dent, develop a retentive memory, 
power of concentration, and the perceptive 
faculties, and thereby increase your mental 
capacity? This is possible to all who learn 
the secret of conserving and using this energy. 
By keeping the mind occupied with pleasing 
external interests, following the foregoing 
physical directions, reading books and maga- 
zines of high mental and moral tone, attend- 
ing lecture courses and indulging freely in 
individual thinking, this vital principle will 
flow to the brain, where it will be expressed 
in mental vigor and intellectual brilliancy. 
No one can reach his highest and 
truest efficiency in life if he neg- 
lects the development of his social life, his 
finer feelings, emotions and sentiments, and 
the building of sterling character. Would you 
Way of 
Alental 
Attainment 
Social and 
Moral 
Attainment KEEPING FIT 
876 The Source of Manhood 
877 
like to be a friend and have friends, be a leader 
in the social life of your community, have a 
happy home, develop ideal citizenship and 
build character? If so, here is the way of 
attainment: keep your mind wholesomely 
occupied, follow the directions for physical 
development and mental growth, cultivate an 
unselfish interest in the well-being of others, 
sympathize with the sorrowing, boost the dis- 
couraged, get under the burdens of struggling 
ones, love the unlovely ones, and the creative 
life will flow into your social nature and be 
expressed in finer feelings, emotions and senti- 
ment. Continue this, and soon you will find 
that you are overcoming social weaknesses, 
correcting social defects and developing a big, 
warm heart toward a needy world. 
It is the expression of this energy that 
brings young people together in pleasant, de- 
lightful and wholesome friendship; that 
deepens friendship into blissful courtship; that 
leads ultimately to a happy marriage, har- 
monizing differences, blending personalities, 
and making husband and wife one for life. 
Without this energy these sacred experiences 
and relations would be impossible. The con- 
servation of this energy in youth and its intel- 
ligent control and use in married life would 878 
Personal Help for Men 
eliminate divorce courts and make home life 
ideal. 
The highest mission in life is the 
building of character. Should you 
succeed in everything else and fail in this, you 
would be an inexcusable and complete failure. 
You may have inherited a strong body or a 
fortune; you must build character. If you 
would build character, you must master every 
passion, appetite, and propensity, and every 
bad habit. 
The 
Building of 
Character CHAPTER LIX 
VITAL FACTS FOR MEN 
Most young men look forward to 
marriage as a desirable condition, 
and when they have entered it, they accept 
cheerfully its responsibilities and obligations 
and are far happier than if they had remained 
single. 
A young man should not be in a 
hurry to choose a life companion. 
The first attraction is rarely the best one. He 
should not confine his attentions to one girl if 
he is not seriously in love. He should care- 
fully study his young woman friends and their 
families. He should respect the rights of his 
unborn children by choosing for them a good 
mother. No young man should trifle with his 
affections or those of a girl. Every engage- 
ment ought to be followed by a marriage. 
The great English surgeon, Dr. 
Acton, has this to say, on the sub- 
ject of long engagements: "All medical ex- 
perience proves that for anyone, especially a 
Looking 
Forward to 
Marriage 
Choosing 
a Life 
Companion 
Long 
Engage® 
ments 
879 880 
Personal Help for Men 
young man, to enter into a long engagement 
without any immediate hope of fulfilling it, 
is, physically, an almost unmitigated evil. I 
have reason to know that this condition of 
constant excitement has often caused not only 
dangerously frequent and long-continued noc- 
turnal emissions, but most painful affections 
of the testes. These results sometimes follow 
the progress of an ordinary two or three 
months' courtship to an alarming extent. The 
danger and distress may be much more serious 
when the marriage is postponed for years." 
It is far better for young people to 
begin married life early, even 
though they must live simply and frugally, 
than for them to postpone marriage until they 
are older. Later in life they will look back 
to these years of early marriage as the hap- 
piest of their lives. Marriages that take place 
in early life may occasionally result in failure, 
but when young love is denied and the heart 
starved until a certain standard of affluence 
is reached, the resulting marriage is extremely 
likely to be unsatisfactory. 
It is neither nonsense nor sentimentality 
that human beings crave love and affection. 
Young man, by the time you have reached the 
Advantages 
of Early 
Marriage Vital Facts for Men 
881 
$10,000 mark you have set for yourself as a 
lawyer, or by the time you have acquired the 
$5,000 you insist upon having as a young busi- 
ness man, or by the time you have been pro- 
moted to the $1,500 salary as a clerk, one of 
two things has probably happened: either the 
heart, denied its natural heritage of love, mar- 
riage and a home, sacrifices itself on unworthy 
emotions; or the emotions become atrophied, 
and the once warm and loving nature settles 
into a mold of cold calculation. 
Remember that the girl who does 
not love you well enough to live 
with you in a humble cottage or in a two- 
room flat, and do her own work, even though 
she is used to a mansion and maids to wait on 
her, does not know the meaning of love. A 
girl who is not sufficiently interested in your 
life-work to help you by sharing your burdens 
has no real or lasting love for you. If you 
want to bring your bride an offering, bring 
her love, high ideals, a clean life and genuine 
sympathy. Such gifts will make her rich 
indeed. But all the dollars in the world will 
not enable her to buy deep feelings and last- 
ing regard, such as are needed in the founda- 
tion of love and marriage. 
Tests of 
True Love 882 
Personal Help for Men 
Mutual 
Under= 
standings 
Before 
Marriage 
We are often asked by young men: 
"To what extent may young peo- 
ple, who are contemplating mar- 
riage, talk over their future sex relations?'' 
We have a natural modesty and most of us 
have a superabundance of mock modesty. 
The latter keeps one from understanding him- 
self and his natural and safe social relations 
with his life companion, his children and so- 
ciety. The sooner an individual rids himself 
of this pseudo-modesty the better for him and 
society. 
Natural modesty should be studiously and 
conscientiously cultivated by friends, lovers 
and all married people. True culture, genu- 
ine chastity and great character demand such 
cultivation. The principles of a single stand- 
and of morals, of personal and social purity 
as an element of character and social right- 
eousness, may be discussed freely by all 
intelligent young people. Only mock modesty, 
prudery or a sense of personal guilt would 
taboo these subjects. 
A discussion of the sacred sanctuaries of 
reproduction, by young men and women, 
engaged or unengaged, involves natural 
modesty and sacred ethical rights. In such 
discussions by the engaged there are grave Vital Facts for Men 
883 
dangers of shocking natural modesty and in- 
vading personal ethical rights, by making 
these subjects common. Such privileges do 
not belong to the unengaged 
There are some vital matters about 
which engaged young people 
should have a mutual understanding. The 
best time for them to discuss these matters 
would be when they first consider the ques- 
tion of engagement. There is a natural inter- 
est on the part of each to know whether the 
other is physically normal so that he or she 
will be able to meet all the requirements of a 
life companion and of parenthood. Each 
should be willing to submit to a thorough 
examination by an expert physician, giving 
assurance of health and normal fitness for 
marriage and parenthood. Until this becomes 
customary or is a law, a young man should 
have the privilege of saying to his sweetheart: 
"So far as I know there is nothing that will 
interfere with my becoming a husband and a 
father of sound children. Are you aware of 
any hindrance which would interfere with 
your becoming a wife and the same kind of a 
mother?" If there are difficulties, then there 
is reason for discussing them. If none, the 
subject should be considered settled. 
What They 
May Discuss 884 
Personal Help for Men 
If a young woman knows that for some 
reason she is sterile, or that, because of her 
heredity or the young man's, motherhood 
would be very unwise, she should not encour- 
age lovemaking. 
If a young man has reasonable grounds for 
believing that his sweetheart has a secret pur- 
pose to deliberately avoid all maternal re- 
sponsibilities of married life, he has a right to 
inform her that his ideal home is one consist- 
ing of a father and a mother and a reasonable 
number of well-born children. She should 
state whether she is willing to aid him in 
building such a home. 
The young man should assure his fiancee 
that he is not asking her to become his wife for 
selfish gratification; that it is his purpose to 
make her a good husband, and to exercise a 
self-control that will protect her natural 
rights; and that he will respect her invitation 
in the consummation of marriage and all sub- 
sequent marital privileges. 
Whether a young man has kept his 
virtue or not, if he has any sense of 
respectability left, he is at least 
selfishly concerned about the virginity of the 
woman he expects to marry. Some young 
Determining 
Virginity 
Before 
Marriage Vital Facts for Men 
885 
men believe they are justified, during court- 
ship, in engaging in familiarities to determine 
whether or not their sweethearts would be 
willing to yield. They use the cowardly and 
indecent appeal that yielding is a proof of the 
woman's love for them. This is base and un- 
manly. Only men who are densely ignorant 
or low in their ideals will stoop to such 
methods. When once engaged, a man should 
remember that there are privileges which are 
not his until the legal phase of marriage has 
completed their oneness. Any violation of 
chastity before marriage is a sin against 
society, weakens self-respect, causes a loss of 
confidence in each other, and often leads to 
domestic inharmony and the divorce court. 
Purity, in either men or women, is expressed 
in the look of the eye, features, tone of conver- 
sation, deportment and the company one keeps. 
These are the criterions by which one may 
judge of the virtue of another. One sex has 
as much right to demand virtue in a lover as 
has the other. It is just as right that a young 
man should make a confession of wrong as it 
is for a woman. Where a woman has made 
a mistake in her past life, she is just as capable 
of a true reformation, of living virtuously 886 
Personal Help for Men 
in the future and making a true wife as is a 
man of taking the corresponding steps. 
The woman is given the right to 
set or change the date of marriage. 
This is her right because in the 
healthy woman, once every twenty-eight days, 
the ovaries ripen a germ cell, called an ovum 
or egg. This is the function of menstruation. 
Intercourse should never take place during 
the menstrual period. Sexual relations at this 
time lead to many complications in the genital 
organs of the woman. In setting the date of 
marriage, the young woman tries to select a 
date that will fall midway between two men- 
strual periods. The duties and excitement 
incident to the approaching date of marriage 
may hasten the arrival of each monthly period 
a few days. Should she find that marriage 
and a menstrual period are likely to come on 
the same date, she will ask that the date be 
made earlier or later. It is for this reason 
that she is given the right to set or change the 
date of marriage. 
There is but one motive that sanc- 
tifies the relation of marriage- 
love. No social convention can alter this truth 
based on the best experience of life. Love 
Why Woman 
Has Right 
to Set Date 
of Marriage 
Motive for 
Marriage Vital Facts for Men 
887 
will ever remain the essential to a normal and 
happy home. The emotion of love is awak- 
ened to conscious activity through acquaint- 
ance and friendship, it becomes a joyful reality 
in courtship, and is perpetuated through life 
because of a chaste, pure, unselfish sex prefer- 
ence of one man for one woman and that one 
woman for that one man. Under the guidance 
of enlightened sex selection, few mistakes 
would ever be made in the choice of a com- 
panion. 
If husband and wife are not bound 
to each other by a natural sex preference, or 
love, though they may hold in their possession 
broad acres, or heavy bank deposits, live in a 
mansion and move in the elite circles of 
society, they will not love each other or their 
children, or be able to build a real home. 
Remember, marriage is for the 
purpose of offspring. Both moral 
and physical law, must condemn 
any marriage in which this purpose is not all, 
or is only imperfectly carried out. Hence, 
virility is a necessary requirement of marriage 
and complete physical fitness for parenthood. 
Mismated 
Physical 
Fitness 
for 
Marriage 888 
Personal Help for Men 
Hereditary 
Taints 
Many families have hereditary 
taints. It is probable, at least 
possible, that a predisposition to consumption, 
cancer, scrofula, insanity, and feeble-minded- 
ness may be passed down to the offspring. It 
is certain that these diseases will occur in the 
children should both husband and wife have 
such tendencies in their family strain. Life 
insurance companies are very careful to ex- 
amine into the ancestry of one seeking insur- 
ance. This is "business." Should young 
people seeking marriage be any less business- 
like? The subject of venereal disease is fully 
discussed elsewhere. A young man who has 
ever been tainted with any of these awful 
diseases should have positive knowledge that 
all the physical effects have passed away before 
marrying and endangering the health and hap- 
piness of his wife and future offspring. 
The vagina of a virgin is normally 
guarded by a delicate membrane, 
called the hymen. The hymen contains a 
small opening about the size of a lead pencil, 
through which passes the menstrual flow. 
The hymen, if not broken before marriage, is 
broken at the time marriage is consummated. 
Naturally, this is attended with more or less 
Facts for 
Young 
Husbands Vital Facts for Men 
889 
pain. Where the hymen is quite tough and 
strong, the pain is considerable. 
Nearly all girls have heard stories of the 
sufferings experienced by some woman the 
first night after marriage. This explains, in 
part, why nearly all brides have no little 
hesitancy and dread as the first night ap- 
proaches. When the bride has complete con- 
fidence in her husband, she will, at the proper 
time, invite the consummation of marriage. 
Under normal sexual excitement the vagina 
secretes a lubricating mucus which aids in 
the sexual act. Any pain will now be greatly 
reduced and less noticed by her. 
The discovery of blood on the bed 
clothes, or on the night clothes, fol- 
lowing the consummation of marriage, is a 
positive proof that the wife was a virgin. The 
absence of all signs of blood is not to be con- 
sidered as conclusive proof that the wife was 
not a virgin. The hymen is so near the ex- 
ternal orifice of the vagina that at any time in 
life a girl might accidentally sit or drop down 
on an object so as to break the hymen. In a 
few cases the opening in the hymen is natur- 
ally large enough to permit of intercourse 
without breaking. 
Proof of 
Virginity 890 
Personal Help for Men 
The First 
Night 
The first sexual intercourse in mar- 
riage is called the consummation 
of marriage. The Greeks had a custom or 
law that marriage should not be consummated 
before the third night of marriage. Such a 
custom today would contribute much to the 
happiness of marriage and rob the divorce 
mills of many victims. 
In the past the chief source of information 
open to a young man has been that of vicious 
and ignorant men. What is received from 
such sources is always misinformation and 
leads to serious mistakes. The young man who 
has visited fallen women, accustomed to ac- 
commodating all classes of men, has no intelli- 
gent knowledge of what it means to bring a 
virgin to the nuptial couch; neither has the 
young man who has kept his virtue. One is 
about as likely to make a serious mistake as 
the other. 
You have heard or read more than once of 
some woman committing suicide the day after 
marriage, or refusing to live with her husband 
and suing for divorce at the first court. You 
wondered at this, yet there was a reason. Only 
recently, while conducting a city-wide educa- 
tional campaign, an estimable lady called us 
up over the 'phone, requesting an interview at Vital Facts for Men 
891 
the hotel parlor. The interview was granted. 
This was her story: "I understand that you 
are to give your second lecture to men Sunday 
in the Armory. I hope to have my son-in-law 
there to hear you. I want you to tell them 
what men ought to know before marriage. 
Our daughter has been married only fifteen 
days. She has just confided to me that she has 
not retired with her husband since the first 
night. Such was his treatment of her then 
that since she has cried herself to sleep each 
night in a rocking chair." 
At the close of a lecture to men, we were 
asked privately by a married man why his 
wife suffered as much during intercourse as in 
giving birth to a child. He was informed that 
her trouble was of a nature that seldom occurs, 
but when it exists, she had no way of knowing 
it before marriage, and that he should have 
her treated by a good physician for a few 
months and then she would become normal. 
At the close of a lecture to mature col- 
lege young men on what they should know be- 
fore marriage, one of the professors sought an 
interview with me. He said, "I wish that I 
could have heard your lecture before I was 
married. My education in these practical so- 
cial matters was wholly neglected. Due alone 892 
Personal Help for Men 
to my ignorance, I lost the respect and love 
of my wife the first night after marriage; and, 
while we are living together and will continue 
to do so, I have not been able to regain what 
I lost that night." 
When the first night of marriage is spent 
in the home of the bride, she is the first one to 
retire. Before he retires, the bridegroom 
should remind her that he is a gentleman, and 
that he will treat her as a sweetheart, making 
no sexual demands of her. If the first night 
is spent at a hotel or on the train, the bride- 
groom should excuse himself while the bride 
retires. On returning to her, before he retires, 
he should give her a like assurance. The exer- 
cise of self-control, the courtesies and atten- 
tions of a true gentleman, and the expressions 
of considerate love will intensify the respect 
and deepen the love of the young wife for her 
husband a hundredfold. 
As to how frequently married peo- 
ple should indulge in intercourse, 
there are several theories. A majority of men 
base their theory on uncontrolled desire rather 
than on any basis of reasoning. In this, as in 
every other problem of sex, men have been 
left to get their information from the ignorant 
Frequency 
of Sexual 
Relations Vital Facts for Men 
893 
and degraded classes. Such men know but one 
rule-desire. A few have had a better en- 
vironment and wholesome instruction, and 
some others have discovered their mistakes, 
and have put up a successful battle against 
the slavery of their propensities and now 
enjoy a larger liberty. 
Multiplied thousands of married 
women owe their wretched health 
and miserable existence to their husband's 
views of sexual liberty. At the close of one of 
our lectures in a city a man said: "If I could 
recall fifteen years and start over married life 
again, possessing the information I have 
gained from your three lectures, I would 
gladly present you with $100,000 and begin 
married life over again without a dollar." We 
asked him for an explanation. His reply was: 
"Fifteen years ago I was married to a beauti- 
ful, sweet and healthy woman. I knew noth- 
ing of intelligent self-control. I understood 
that marriage meant liberty. I was very happy 
in my married life. Wife never refused me. 
We had been married not more than a year 
when she had to take stimulating drugs. She 
steadily grew more nervous and required more 
and more drugs. When we had been married 
Unbridled 
Lust 894 
Personal Help for Men 
five years she was an invalid. My doctor said 
to me one day, 'You must let your wife travel 
for six months or a year, or you will have to 
put her in the graveyard in less than a year.' 
I had money. I could take a year off and 
travel with my wife. I did not know that the 
doctor was trying to get my wife away from 
me so she could have sexual rest. We traveled 
for six months. We visited the principal places 
of scenery, pleasure and recreation. I had 
specialists treat her. I continued in my hab- 
itual indulgences. She grew steadily worse. 
We returned home. A few months passed by 
and I buried my wife. I see it all now. I 
slowly murdered her." 
This false idea of personal liberty is re- 
sponsible for over child-bearing. It takes 
some three years for a woman to entirely 
recover from the sacrifice of the preceding 
maternity. Many a mother's life is one in- 
ceasing service for a big family of children. 
No time for mental improvement, rest and 
pleasure. This is not right. 
Large families are rarely advisable today. 
Children must be better clothed and educated. 
It costs three or four times as much to support 
a family today as it did years ago. If men 
follow their unnatural desire, some artificial Vital Facts for Men 
895 
or unnatural method will likely be used to 
prevent conception. All of these methods are 
not only to some degree injurious, but they 
often lead to greater excesses. 
The primary function of the sex- 
ual organs is the perpetuation of 
the species. Man has reversed Nature. He 
has made sexual pleasure the primary purpose 
for intercourse. There is a growing number 
of good and intelligent people who advocate 
and practice continence in married life. Many 
who have tried it have failed to carry out their 
ideal. Others who have tried it have wrecked 
their health, not because marital continence is 
incompatible with health, but because they in- 
dulged in some form of incomplete and pro- 
longed sexual gratification and called that 
marital continence. If marital continence is 
impossible and injurious to health, then that 
must be true in the single life. A marriage 
ceremony can not change the fundamental 
laws of Nature. He who condemns continence 
in the married life as being impossible and 
injurious to health and insists that continence 
in single life is natural and healthy, is neither 
scientific nor logical. 
It must be true, where a husband and wife 
are mutually agreed and each possesses self- 
For 
Procreation 
Only 896 
Personal Help for Men 
control, that no harm can come from practic- 
ing continence. But unless each possesses self- 
control and they are mutually agreed, it would 
not be wise for them to undertake marital 
continence. 
After six thousand years of hereditary sex- 
ual degeneracy and well-nigh universal false 
training given to boys and men, we question 
the advisability of publicly teaching and urg- 
ing all people to try to live up to this ideal. 
Could it be carried out, the problems of mari- 
tal excess, artificial and unnatural methods 
for preventing conception, and the horrible 
crime of abortion, would be solved. It is pos- 
sible that this ideal will become the teaching 
of the future. Before it can be realized by 
any large proportion of the race, children 
must be taught concerning their origin, their 
organs of reproduction, and of their use and 
abuse. That will lead to normal sexual devel- 
opment and self-control. Only then will we 
be able, as a race, to arrive at maturity and 
marriage with perfect self-control. 
In the writings of Moses we find 
two chapters, where he forbids 
sexual relations during the menses and for a 
number of days before and after the menses. 
The Mosaic 
Law in 
Marriage Vital Facts for Men 
897 
Conception usually takes place a few days 
before or a few days after the menses, rarely 
eight or ten days removed from the menses. 
This leaves a period of six to ten days, when 
conception is less likely to occur. Since the 
inspired writer has nothing to say concerning 
these days, we may reasonably infer that he 
permitted married people temperate sexual 
relations, as an expression of love. 
When husband and wife limit their indul- 
gence to temperate relations during these days 
of least probability of conception, they are 
able reasonably to regulate the size of their 
family, live hygienically, violate no law of 
sex in the way of incomplete relations, use 
no artificial methods of prevention, and avoid 
the crime of abortion, or prenatal murder. If 
under these natural restrictions conception 
should take place, let them intelligently plan 
for and warmly welcome their child. 
Further discussion of this subject, and its 
relation to parenthood, will be found in the 
volume, "Personal Help for the Married," 
by the publishers of this volume. CHAPTER LX 
SINGLE STANDARD MANHOOD 
Ethical Side 
of Sexual 
Hygiene 
It has been our privilege to lecture 
in many leading colleges and uni- 
versities where expert medical men have lec- 
tured the previous year to the young men on 
sexual hygiene. This type of men usually 
lecture almost exclusively on venereal dis- 
eases. Occasionally some of them place spe- 
cial emphasis on their not being moralists, but 
scientists; that they are not expected to moral- 
ize, but to give the latest and most accurate 
scientific knowledge on sexual hygiene. In 
this way, they furnished the students with 
exact scientific data on venereal diseases, but 
did not teach the young men how to solve 
their sex problems and how to live a conti- 
nent life, nor did they awaken moral convic- 
tion to aid in the building of manly character. 
The general effect of such lectures on the 
frightful horrors of venereal diseases is to 
scare some young men from visiting recog- 
nized immoral women, substituting therefor 
898 Single Standard Manhood 
899 
some other form of indulgence, self-abuse, or 
clandestine relations with girls who, other- 
wise, might remain pure. This is what we 
have found to be true wherever the ethical 
side of the sex problems of young men is neg- 
lected or ignored. 
There is no sane reason why a lecturer or 
author should try to divorce science and ethics 
in a discussion of sexual hygiene. The real 
value of a book or course of lectures for men 
is determined by: 1. Scientific accuracy of 
statement. 2. Practical solutions given for 
the problems of men. 3. The ability to awaken 
moral conviction and thus aid readers or 
hearers to build character. Scientific knowl- 
edge devoid of ethics does not afford a solu- 
tion of a young man's problems or safeguard 
his virtue. It is for these reasons that no 
apology is offered for this chapter on sexual 
ethics. 
A few years ago medical nfen, jour- 
nals and books, with but very few 
exceptions, taught that sexual gratification 
was necessary to the health, development and 
sexual virility of a man? Women were taught 
that a reformed man made the best husband, 
and young men boasted of their many con- 
Double 
Standard 
Outgrown 900 
Personal Help for Men 
quests over womanhood. Christ championed 
a single standard of morals. The New Testa- 
ment teaches it. All during the ages there 
have been men who believed in, practiced and 
taught chastity for men as well as for women. 
At the present time, practically all the states 
in the Union, through their State Health 
Boards and educational institutions, are seek- 
ing to give sex enlightenment, teaching purity 
truths and circulating books on sexual hygiene. 
Medical men have come to realize that un- 
chastity is not a necessity for men. Many 
eminent medical men have recently written 
books and gone upon the platform teaching 
and defending chastity among men, single 
and married. Some recent discoveries made 
by eminent students of sex hygiene have 
abundantly proved that there is no natural 
ground for the old doctrine of sexual neces- 
sity. This explains why so many medical men 
and others have joined the ranks of purity 
reform. 
William Lee Howard, M. D., who 
speaks from a knowledge gained 
through years of study and experience in the 
great hospitals of the world, says: "Conti- 
nence, and not incontinence is necessary to 
The Sex 
Necessity 
Lie Single Standard Manhood 
901 
develop all the manhood in the growing male 
-man or animal. All breeders of stock knew 
this fact and see that stallion and bull are 
brought to full sexual power and physical 
development by keeping them away from all 
females. * * * Look at the whole matter 
from a common-sense point of view: the dog, 
the cock, kept for fighting purposes, are all 
continent. Sexual intercourse is not allowed 
to these animals while they are being devel- 
oped for their work. The stallion, while his 
trotting period lasts, is prevented from con- 
tact with mares. When these creatures have 
been fully developed, when the semen has been 
allowed to fulfil its first mission of completing 
the powers that lie inherent in it, the stallion, 
the dog or cock is put to its legitimate use; 
the reproduction of its kind which will possess 
all of the reserve force of its progenitor." 
Not all of the doctors have ceased 
to advise young men to visit pros- 
titutes, and a few still advise young 
men to keep a girl on the sly. Quack doctors 
do this, whether they live in large cities and 
do a mail order business, or in small tpwns 
with a local practice. Such advice has been 
so long the fashion that many men who are 
Some Still 
Teach 
Sexual 
Necessity 902 
Personal Help for Men 
ignorant on sexual matters still believe inter- 
course to be necessary for young and single 
men. There are few doctors who are so be- 
hind the times as to mistakenly advocate "the 
sex necessity lie." Those who teach it, usu- 
ally are viciously immoral. Reliable physi- 
cians know there is no scientific foundation 
for such teaching. They are assisting the 
campaign of sex education by often repeating 
the statement: "Man's sex organs do not grow 
weak if they are not used. The testicles are 
not muscles that grow by use, but glands that 
do not need sexual excitement and activity to 
keep them in working order." 
There are men, not so many as 
formerly, who advise the retention 
of houses of prostitution as a means 
of protecting the pure girl. They insist that 
men can not control their passions, and that, 
if all houses of prostitution are closed, inno- 
cent girls will be seduced or raped. What- 
ever of necessity exists among men is of their 
own making. Young men of sound character 
are never guilty of seduction and rape. These 
crimps are common to men who have become 
abnormal by visiting prostitutes. 
Houses of 
Prostitution 
No 
Protection Single Standard Manhood 
903 
Illegitimate 
Fathers 
Thoughtless and sinful men often 
boast of their conquests over 
female virtue and of being fathers of children 
outside of wedlock. Consider the relations of 
illegitimate parents to these unfortunates. 
Their records are the blackest in the annals of 
crime. When one has brought an immortal 
being into the world outside of holy wedlock, 
that child is bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh; 
it is his child, his son or daughter. If a white 
man has a child by a negro mother, we call 
it a mulatto, but that does not change the 
father's relation to his child; it only gives him 
double race relation. He now has as many 
relatives among the negroes as among his own 
race. Illegitimate, white or black, as the case 
may be, his mother is the child's grandmother. 
If he is a married man, his family relations 
become more complicated. This child be- 
comes the stepson or stepdaughter of his wife, 
the halfbrother or halfsister of his legitimate 
children. He is just as responsible for the 
coming into the world of the illegitimate child 
as for the legitimate, and he owes as much 
love, sacrifice and support to the first as to the 
second. The first child sustains the same rela- 
tion to him that the legitimate children do. 
The first child has the same moral claim upon 904 
Personal Help for Men 
him for food, clothing, education, shelter, and 
to inherit his property as have the legitimate 
children. 
If the mother of the child was a willing 
partner with him in his crime, he should 
either marry her or support her while she 
cares for his child. If he deceived her in a 
love affair, and he is married, he ought to 
support her until she marries, or for life. 
We are not through with this 
man's responsibility. His crime 
was deliberate and voluntary. This may have 
been true of the mother. If not, then her loss 
of character, her shame and guilt must be 
added to his crime. Add to that the wrong 
done the child, the advent of which was wholly 
involuntary, for, as related to the wrong, it is 
as innocent as an angel. The pen of a ready 
writer could not in a lifetime describe the 
mental sufferings, and the soul-anguish this 
child must experience in the schoolroom, on 
the playground, in its social relations to other 
boys and girls, men and women; in the social 
and business world, when made a target of 
ridicule, scorn, abuse and injustice. 
No words in our vocabulary can 
adequately express the depths of 
depravity to which a man must descend before 
The Unfor= 
tunate 
Child 
Deeper 
Depths of 
Depravity Single Standard Manhood 
905 
he deliberately can plan and contrive to win 
the affections and consent of another man's 
wife. If possible, there is still a deeper depth 
of depravity to which some men descend. We 
refer to the vilest of the vile-to men who will 
resort to every possible means to lead the 
brotherless and fatherless astray. 
Perhaps some reader may reply: 
"I would not take the virtue of a 
pure woman; I seek only women who are 
fallen." Every such woman is some mother's 
girl. She was once as pure as your wife, sis- 
ter or mother. Some mother once pressed her 
to her heart and kissed her innocent lips. 
Some fond father once proudly called her 
"darling." Does someone reply: "She has 
brought on her own social disgrace and volun- 
tarily has accepted her position; therefore, I 
am not responsible for her sin." If you could 
hear the pathetic story of her fall; how she 
fell in mere childhood, before she knew what 
it involved; or how, being feeble-minded, she 
lacked resisting power; or how some well- 
dressed and accomplished seducer, under 
solemn promise to marriage, seduced and 
ruined her; if you could appreciate her en- 
forced exclusion from society and home; if 
The Fallen 
Woman 906 
Personal Help for Men 
you could feel the anguish of her degraded 
soul, you would be her friend instead of help- 
ing to sink her into deeper depths of hopeless 
ruin. 
Educators, reformers, legislators, philan- 
thropists and ministers have been lamentably 
slow in learning that sensual men, fallen 
women and unfortunately born children are 
the products of a double standard of morals- 
chastity for women and unchastity for men. 
Our state and national legislative bodies are 
beginning to wake up to the imperative need 
of just laws, with adequate penalties, for the 
protection of virtue, the rights of unmarried 
mothers and unfortunately born children. 
Houses of shame, socially ostra- 
cized women, and illegitimate 
children, foundling homes and maternity 
homes are all the products of a double stand- 
ard of morals. A consistent single standard 
of morals will correct public sentiment 
wherein it is perverted and make possible the 
enactment and enforcement of just laws made 
to conform to the new sentiment. Chastity 
will be demanded alike of men and women, 
and lack of it in men will be as great a crime 
and shame as it is now in women. In very 
A Single 
Standard 
Law Single Standard Manhood 
907 
recent years human progress has broken down 
the old double standards of educational privi- 
leges, industrial rights and political rights. 
The end of the age-long double standard of 
morals is rapidly approaching. 
Prominent educators, physicians, 
city and state boards of health, 
etc., are unitedly declaring that the double 
standard of morals is a selfish lie created to 
excuse young men from moral responsibility 
in indulging their passions and to exonerate 
men of lust from censure. 
The modern attitude toward the 
double standard is represented in 
the following quotations, which 
are typical of the general expression from all 
sources: 
The California State Board of Health in a 
circular for men says: "No justification exists, 
nor ever did exist, for the double standard. 
* * * If men look for virtue in women in 
their search for a wife, why should not women 
expect equal virtue from the men who seek 
them in marriage? * * * There is no 
such thing as the double standard of morality, 
for as soon as such a double standard is created, 
morality ceases to exist." 
The Lie of 
Lust and 
Selfishness 
Public 
Sentiment 
on the 
Double 
Standard 908 
Personal Help for Men 
William T. Belfield, M. D., Professor of 
Genito-Urinary Surgery, Rush Medical Col- 
lege, University of Chicago, says, in regard to 
the single standard: "It has the backing of 
religious belief, but does not depend upon it. 
Both self-interest and love for others demand 
it. It is a part of true manhood." 
The Oregon Social Hygiene Society: 
"Every man who has any principle believes in 
fair play. He despises cheating. The young 
man who is fair will adopt for his own life the 
same standard he demands of the woman he 
expects to marry some day." 
The United States Public Health Service 
in its latest program for a medical, educa- 
tional, and law enforcement measure for 
fighting venereal diseases throughout the 
nation, utters this significant statement: "In 
the American health program the single stand- 
ard of morals is taken as the basis." 
The work of the many brave men and 
women of the past, who have so nobly advo- 
cated the single standard, has not been in vain 
in moulding public sentiment in its favor. 
There is need of more champions 
of the single standard, for, with all 
the expert methods and wise counsel given 
Champion 
a Single 
Standard Single Standard Manhood 
909 
through the United States Bureau of Educa- 
tion, and the Public Health Service, it takes 
men to execute a community program, who 
combine with the enthusiasm and spirit of 
youth, a love of the other fellow. Such men 
will make the ideals of the single standard an 
abiding thing in every locality. It needs 
more workers to clean up the filth and do away 
with the injustice to women and children. 
These tragedies, besides the destruction of true 
manhood, come from the double standard. 
For the sake of your sweetheart, your sister 
and your mother, or your daughter and wife, 
live a white life. Pure or impure in the past, 
keep your record clean in the future. Cham- 
pion a single standard of morals and defend 
the purity of womanhood. This is true man- 
hood. CHAPTER LXI 
HOW MANHOOD IS WRECKED 
Man as He 
Should Be 
From the study of man in his 
relation to the world, in his rela- 
tion to society, in his relation to himself, and 
from the study of the Bible, we see what 
Nature and God intended man to be. In both 
sacred and profane history we study the biog- 
raphies of noble men of the past. On the farm 
and in the shop, behind the counter, as mem- 
bers of the bar, in Congress and in the Senate, 
on the platform and in the pulpit, we find to- 
day men who are examples of true manhood. 
Having received a good heredity, they lived 
in harmony with Nature and law, chose the 
right and rejected the wrong, and lived the 
Christ life. 
But when we study the mass of 
people, we find that only a small 
percentage approaches perfection on either 
the physical, mental or moral plane. See the 
enervated and stunted fathers, the nervous and 
sickly mothers, the puny and weak children, 
Man as 
He Is 
910 RESULTS OF IGNORANCE: 
A PHYSICAL, MENTAL AND MORAL WRECK 
911 912 
Personal Help for Men 
the lustful sons and fallen daughters, the 
poorly developed bodies and dwarfed minds, 
the paupers and the criminals, the epileptics, 
the feeble-minded and the insane! Why should 
such a large per cent of our population be 
aimless, purposeless, shiftless ne'er-do-wells? 
Why our race degeneracy, our threatened race 
extinction? Bad heredity is not the only cause. 
The causes are numerous. Many are ignorant 
of the nature and functions of the organs of 
their bodies. Only a few have studied the 
most essential laws of health. Many live in 
unappeased hunger, and many more are im- 
properly fed. Alcohol, tobacco and harmful 
drugs are doing their deadly work. The sin 
of sensuality, with its attendant diseases, is the 
most prolific source of blighted manhood. 
Contrast the average man with males of the 
lower animals-the stallion, the bull, the lion 
and the tiger. What dignity, pride, elastic 
bearing and majesty! They are not the vic- 
tims of sexual abuse. Instinctively they con- 
serve their sexual energy. 
Children are largely the results of 
uncontrolled desire. They were 
conceived in lust. Their prenatal rights were 
not respected, owing to ignorance and a re- 
Bad 
Heredity How Manhood is Wrecked 
913 
suitant lack of control on the part of their 
parents. There can be no doubt that lascivious 
tendencies can be transmitted. 
Among the poor, large families are 
often crowded into one or two 
rooms. Decent privacy is impossible. Bad 
habits of thought and sexual associations are 
often formed in mere childhood. Even in the 
homes of the richer classes the environment of 
childhood is often no better. The obscene 
language and perverted sexual practices of 
servants, both men and women, in the pres- 
ence of children and taught personally to them 
can not be put in print. Many parents are 
criminally negligent. They neither teach 
their children truths pertaining to sex nor do 
they quarantine against misinformation, ob- 
scenity and stories of sexual perverts. 
Tobacco and alcohol have a tend- 
ency to awaken passion, and, as a 
rule, men addicted to these habits are more 
passionate than those free from them. The 
use of cigarettes often hastens by several 
months the approach of puberty, and prema- 
ture puberty is always a misfortune, for sexual 
secretions take place before the body is pre- 
pared to absorb and retain them. There waste 
Early 
Environ= 
ment 
Narcotics 
and 
Stimulants 914 
Personal Help for Men 
produces stunted, dwarfed and lustful men. 
An eminent physician says: " 1 obacco has 
spoiled and utterly ruined thousands of boys, 
inducing a dangerous precocity, developing 
the passions, softening and weakening the 
bones, greatly injuring the spinal cord, the 
brain and the whole nervous system." 
Inveterate tobacco users become sexually 
weak early in middle life. Eminent doctors 
in France tell us that there are more inveterate 
tobacco users in that country than in any other 
civilized nation, and that many of these men 
are sterile. They attribute the falling off in 
their annual birth rate, in part, to the use of 
tobacco. What has been said of tobacco can 
be said with greater emphasis of alcohol. No 
man can live a clean sexual life and habitu- 
ally use alcohol. Aside from stimulating lust, 
these habits entail many other evil effects unon 
those addicted to them and they do much to 
undermine manhood. 
Sex desire is aroused by physical 
and mental influences, of which 
the mental is far the greater. The 
maintenance of passion is impossible without 
mental consent and aid. In a high state of 
passion, desire will instantly subside if the 
Lascivious 
Thoughts 
and Con- 
versation How Manhood is Wrecked 
915 
mind is wholly and suddenly withdrawn from 
all thought of sex. Under the influence of the 
mind sexual secretions may be increased to 
five or ten times their normal amount. 
Many boys and men spend much of their 
time reveling in lascivious thoughts, wishes 
and conversation. Their sex glands and ducts 
are constantly filled with secretions which 
should not have been taken from the blood, 
and which the body can not absorb. A mind 
filled with morbid curiosity, sensual visions 
and longings is unquestionably the greatest 
cause of sensuality and wrecked manhood. It 
is the first step toward all sexual abuse. A 
young man should keep his mind active and 
busy on some absorbing work, interesting 
activity, or enjoyable hobby. While it may be 
impossible for him alwavs to prevent some 
suggestive sex thoughts from entering his 
mind, he can, by using his will, learn to quickly 
turn his thoughts in some other direction. 
Crowd out the unclean, by keeping the mind 
filled with good thoughts. 
Vulgaritv and impure thinking are 
inseparable; one grows out of the 
other. No one can deliberately tell vulgar 
stories, or listen to others telling them with- 
Vulgar 
Language 916 
Personal Help for Men 
out mental and moral injury. Some form of 
punishment should be meted out to the habit- 
ual user of vulgar language, as well as to those 
who circulate suggestive pictures and books. 
There are forms of dancing that 
are supervised and given under 
wholesome conditions that do not fall under 
the following criticism. Every healthy, vigor- 
ous, manly man knows that the sex impulse is 
hard enough to control when there are only 
natural temptations to combat. The embrace 
in many of the modern dances is strikingly 
suggestive. Most of these dances are at night 
where no moral or religious restraints are felt 
or exercised. The libertine is admitted on a 
social and moral plane with the purest and 
best girl who dances. The jazzy music and 
corresponding movements, the stimulating re- 
freshments, and the close and sensual embrace, 
all conspire to awaken the sex nature. Such 
dancing leads to passion and complicates the 
social and sex problems of both men and 
women and endangers their moral interests. 
Trashy vaudeville performances 
with "leg shows" and suggestive 
dancing are no small factor in the develop- 
ment of sensuality. No normal man, in the 
The 
Voluptuous 
Dance 
Leg Shows 
and Sugges= 
tive Movies How Manhood is Wrecked 
917 
prime of life, can sit for hours and be enter- 
tained in this manner and remain pure in his 
thoughts. Some films exhibited in the movies 
are quite as suggestive. 
Many men who never have been 
immoral with women, and have 
struggled to keep the demon of sensuality out 
of their thoughts, meet with their greatest 
temptation in the presence of improperly 
dressed women or at the sight of obscene pic- 
tures. Sensual postcards and similar pictures 
placed on billboards are agencies of sex stimu- 
lation that should everywhere be prohibited 
by law. A mother with a fully exposed breast, 
nursing an innocent, beautiful baby, is no 
temptation to any normal man. But the par- 
tially concealed breasts of an attractively 
formed woman no well-sexed man can look 
upon, admire, think about and remain un- 
tempted. 
Young men and women can not 
engage in indiscreet social rela- 
tions and retain perfect sex control. For years 
spooning postcards, spooning picture films and 
sensational songs and novels have been teach- 
ing young people that these relations are 
natural and that they are agreeable to and 
Improperly 
Dressed 
Women 
Hugging, 
Kissing, 
etc. 918 
Personal Help for Men 
expected by each sex in their social relations. 
Such social relations are breeders of sensuality 
and are the chief cause of young people's 
immorality. 
All these different agencies of sex 
stimulation bring about a mental 
condition that gives a low and degraded atti- 
tude towards sex and strongly inclines to some 
form of sexual gratification. In separate chap- 
ters the author will consider at length how 
manhood is wrecked through abuses of the 
sex instinct. 
Wrecked 
Manhood CHAPTER LXII 
SPOONING 
All normal human beings possess a 
social nature. No one can attain 
his highest efficiency in life if its development 
is neglected. The social nature receives its 
normal development when, from ch.ildhood, 
the sexes are properly associated. This is due 
to the fact that the social nature is closely 
related to sex. Young people, on appropriate 
occasions, should meet as friends in a social 
way. Not isolation, but sane education of the 
sexes in regard to their social relations and 
moral obligations, will safeguard their virtue 
in single and married life. If, perchance, in 
the exercise of social friendship, two, with 
mutual and reciprocal affinities, should dis- 
cover that they are complemental halves of 
what God and nature have planned to be one 
social unit, friendship will deepen into love, 
which will lead to a happy marriage and make 
them one for life. 
Social 
Relations 
of Sexes 
919 920 
Personal Help for Men 
Social 
Privileges 
Young people should have an 
abundance of social privileges, but 
they are expected to be faithful to their trusts 
and social responsibilities. When an aspirant 
for office requests the voters of a town, city, 
county or state to support his candidacy for 
the office of treasurer, he is asking them to 
entrust the safe-keeping of the public funds 
to his hands. Because of the possible tempta- 
tion to misuse these funds, the law requires 
the successful candidate to furnish adequate 
bond. When a young man is admitted to the 
privilege and honor of calling on a young 
woman in her parlor, taking her out walking 
or driving, to hear a lecture or to a place of 
entertainment, he assumes the responsibility 
of protecting the girl's honor and virtue with 
which he is entrusted by her parents. His 
social privileges are limited to the absolute 
protection of the girl. For him to go beyond 
these limits would be a social crime against 
the girl and her parents-a far greater crime 
than for a treasurer to misappropiate the pub- 
lic funds. 
Prudery and mock modesty until 
very recent years made sex in its 
relations to social questions, a tabooed sub- 
Importance 
of Sex 
Knowledge Spooning 
921 
ject. But the present national, in fact inter- 
national, campaign of sex enlightment and 
education, is giving rational, scientific infor- 
mation on these subjects. This is making 
great strides in overcoming prudery, and is 
giving a definite understanding of the best 
uses of the creative impulses and the control 
of the sex energies. The masses are coming 
to recognize the imperative need of a frank 
discussion of the various phases of sex life. 
In a recent publication, a state 
health board asserts that if all men 
and women understood and obeyed the laws 
of sex, there would not be the need of one 
doctor in ten. Prince A. Morrow, a sage 
among physicians, states that at least half of 
the physical ailments of young men come 
from a violation of the laws of sex. To those 
who have not studied the relation of health to 
sex, this would seem an exaggeration. 
In his investigations of the asylums 
of one nation, Dr. Pique claims 
that eighty-two per cent of in- 
sanity among females and seventy-eight per 
cent among males involved the sexual mechan- 
ism, functioning or both, and that early sex 
instruction would have wholly prevented many 
Results of 
Ignorance 
Mental 
Effect 
of Sex 
Ignorance 922 
Personal Help for Men 
cases and would have postponed the mental 
breakdown in many other cases until later in 
life. 
More people are kept from ac- 
cepting Christ, and more meet 
with defeats while trying to live 
the Christian life, because of sex problems, 
than all other problems combined. 
Spooning is the popular name for 
indiscreet, sentimental relations 
often engaged in by young people. It refers 
to all personal familiarities or extravagent 
forms of lovemaking between the opposite 
sex that arouse sexual excitement. Its harm 
to young people and the danger connected 
with it is m direct proportion to the amount 
it is indulged in and the intensity of the sex 
feeling awakened. "There is a time for all 
things." Spooning has its rightful place in 
the economy of nature among fish, birds, ani- 
mals and man. 
Spawning among fishes, rutting 
among the deer family, teasing 
among horses and spooning among young peo- 
ple are only different words for doing the 
same thing-producing sexual excitement. 
Moral 
Reasons 
for Sex 
Instruction 
Spooning 
Defined 
Spooning 
and Sexual 
Excitement Spooning 
923 
Nature teaches the fishes, birds and animals 
when they should excite each other's passion, 
and why. They are unerringly controlled and 
guided in this function by instinct. Nature 
does not teach unmarried people why they 
should not excite each other's passions, as 
human beings are endowed with reason to 
guide them in such matters. Young people 
engage in hugging, kissing, pinching, playing 
with the hair, holding hands, tapping the chin 
and tickling the neck, with a view to having 
what they call a good time. Many of them 
are totally ignorant of the true reason for this 
and why they should not indulge in it. If 
one steps over the verge of a great precipice, 
his mangled, lifeless body will be picked up 
by his friends from the jagged rocks beneath. 
He defied a physical law, the law of gravity, 
in its relation to his physical well-being. 
When young people, men or women, volun- 
tarily forfeit their virtue, it is because they 
have violated a law of sex in its relation to 
virtuous manhood and womanhood. 
The sex impulse is normal. It is 
at the basis of our entire social fab- 
ric. It is not to be suppressed, but controlled 
by directing it into other channels and using 
The Sex 
Impulse 
Is Normal 924 
Personal Help for Men 
it in some form of physical or mental activity. 
The greatest characters the world has ever 
known have been strong in the sex impulse, 
but they have employed it as a mighty force 
in accomplishing marvelous things in all 
lines of human endeavor, in building noble 
careers or in making their names stand out 
in history because of wonderful achievements 
in statesmanship. The love of lovers has its 
origin in sex. The selection of a companion 
is a sex choice. Perpetuating the species is 
the supreme purpose of the choice of mates 
among animals and marriage among human 
beings. In relation to this purpose spooning 
has a natural and necessary function, that of 
sexual excitement. It is purely a sex call and 
the pleasure accompanying it is an expression 
of sexual excitement. All normal animals 
and human beings are susceptible to its in- 
fluence. 
In a former chapter has been fully 
explained the influence of the 
mind on the sex glands and how all normal 
and abnormal secretions, also the distribution 
of the sexual secretions, are very largely 
under the control of the mind. In like man- 
ner, physical posture has a direct effect on 
Mind and 
Conduct Spooning 
925 
the mind and in awakening different feelings 
To illustrate: try to sense resentment by hold- 
ing your arms stretched out as far as possible 
on the sides, hands wide open, and corners of 
the mouth upturned. Not much feeling of 
boldness or indignation, is there? But change 
your position to that of boldness or that of 
the fighter, and all is different. In personal 
familiarities between the sexes, as in spoon- 
ing, the closeness can as naturally lead to sex- 
ual excitement as posture can influence emo- 
tion in other ways. It is for this reason that 
the author advises against all manner of 
crude, free, and easy behavior that stirs the 
sex desire in young people and seeks instead 
to aid them in the safe and intelligent exer- 
cise of this kingliest and queenliest of emo- 
tions. 
Tn charity let us remember that 
many good people have made mis- 
takes, violated the most sacred laws of life, 
while some fell into sin because of ignorance 
and bad customs. Such young people need 
kindness, not abuse; information, not misin- 
formation. Many of them get wrong ideals 
of life from suggestive postcards, cheap 
movies with stirring sex appeals, mushy love 
Starting 
Points of 
Trouble 926 
Personal Help for Men 
stories and sensational novels. One-third of 
the pictures exhibited at the movies consist 
of every possible mode of spooning. The bill- 
boards fairly blaze with pictures of enamored 
couples. In nearly every assortment of post- 
cards offered for sale can be found a large 
variety containing pictures of young men and 
women engaged in most suggestive positions. 
Nine times out of ten the sensual artist makes 
the young man to appear innocent and passive 
and the young woman is made the aggressor. 
Suggestive sentences on the cards are usually 
from the lips of the young woman. Such 
postcards are insults to decent womanhood. 
All good men and women resent them. Ac- 
cording to these cards, cheap behavior, the 
allowing of personal liberties, and "making 
love," is a universal custom among young peo- 
ple when in the parlor, during auto rides, and 
when visiting parks; also that young women 
solicit these attentions and are more eager for 
them than are young men. Young women 
who will receive such postcards from their 
gentlemen friends encourage this belief. 
Suggestive cards can be found in many par- 
lors. If young people study these cards while 
together, it is a suggestion to them to engage Spooning 
927 
in similar relations. Is it surprising that 
young people fall? 
Not one young woman in fifty, 
who falls after she is sixteen, 
would have fallen if she had exacted the social 
laws of "hands off" and "unkissed lips." If 
young men were educated to keep themselves 
pure and to respect those same social laws, 
not one young woman in fifty who falls would 
have done so. Sexual excitement always pre- 
cedes a voluntary fall. 
Unengaged young people, under no condi- 
tions, should engage in hugging and kissing. 
Even in the engaged state these social relations 
are not necessary for expressing love between 
lovers and they are not essential to blissful 
courtship. When young people are engaged, 
and the date of the marriage is fixed and not 
far off, a kiss may be exchanged without any 
need of indulging in the excitements of 
spooning. 
That many young men are wholly 
ignorant of the dangers of spoon- 
ing will be seen readily from the following 
letter: 
"Dear Prof. Shannon-Since hearing your 
course of lectures at the University, I have 
Why Young 
People 
Fall 
Letter from 
College 
Student 928 
Personal Help for Men 
been intensely interested, and worried, too, 
concerning the matter of "spooning." I will 
greatly appreciate your kindness if you will 
explain some things and answer some ques- 
tions. 
"I am engaged to a young lady. Our en- 
gagement is rather a long one, two or three 
years. I see her only two or three times a year 
and a week or so at a time. I love her with a 
pure love and vice versa. I am a manly man 
and have no habits of vice. When we are 
together I often place my arms around her 
and kiss her. This is done as innocently as I 
would kiss my sister. However, I will admit 
that there is a thrill of delightful pleasure 
accompanving these relations with my sweet- 
heart that is not experienced when I caress 
my sister. 
"Now for my questions. I would like for 
you to explain again the distinction between 
sexuality and sensuality. What is the rela- 
tion of love to sex? Why does kissing one's 
sweetheart thrill him with so much more 
pleasure than kissing his sister? Do you 
really think that the limited amount of 'spoon- 
ing' indulged in by us would lead to physi- 
cal, mental or moral injury? Is 'spooning' 
a sin in the sight of God? How about danc- Spooning 
929 
ing? In what way does spooning injure a 
young man? In what way does it injure a 
young woman? 
"I am seeking light that I may be able in- 
telligently to judge between what is right and 
what is wrong, in this matter. If 1 had ever 
questioned the moral right of lovers to spoon, 
I would never have engaged in it. I would 
die before I would injure her. 
"Please answer these questions right away 
and let me thank you now for your kindness 
and trouble. 
"Respectfully, ." 
"My dear friend-Your interest- 
ing letter received. I will endeavor 
to reply in the same sincere, frank and manly 
spirit in which your letter appears to have 
been written. 
"Sexuality is a normal condition of 
the sex nature; sensuality is its ab- 
normal condition. Sexuality is God-given, 
God-honored and God-blessed, man and 
woman's pride and ?lorv, not their shame and 
dishonor. Sensuality is the perversion of sex- 
uality and the primal and chief cause of 
human degeneracv. It is partly inherited, and 
also largely acquired by voluntary sexual ex- 
Author's 
Reply 
Sexuality 
and 
Sensuality 930 
Personal Help for Men 
citement. Impure thinking, the secret vice, 
and spooning are the chief causes of sexual 
excitement. Out of sexuality spring the inde- 
scribable physical, mental and social charms 
of ideal manhood and womanhood. Sensual- 
ity prevents the proper development of these 
charms. 
"Man is made to love and be loved. 
The manifestations or expressions 
of love are called forth by a variety of agen- 
cies. That peculiar expression of love, which 
brings the opposite sex of mutual affinities to- 
gether in blissful courtship and happy mar- 
riage, harmonizes their differences and blends 
their personalities until the two complemental 
halves are made one, is the child of the sex 
life. A man, made a eunuch, or a woman 
desexed in childhood, has no interest in chil- 
dren, no concern for a home and no admira- 
tion or love for the opposite sex. Dress a 
eunuch in broadcloth, bring him into the 
presence of 500 marriageable young women 
and he would not stir the voiceless depths of 
pure affection in any of them. Instinctively 
they would recognize the absence of man- 
hood's charms. If a woman, desexed in child- 
hood, were dressed in a Paris gown and 
The Basis 
of Sex 
Love Spooning 
931 
brought into the presence of 500 marriage- 
able young men, her presence would not 
awaken a single response of the manly affec- 
tions. Thus we see that the love between 
lovers, the engaged and the married, is in- 
separable from their normal sex natures. 
"It is not surprising that young 
people, ignorant of the conditions 
of sexual excitement, should resort to kissing, 
embracing, caressing and fondling under the 
guise of love. The kiss of a sister does not 
produce the thrill of pleasure which kissing 
a sweetheart does, because the love that leads 
to kissing a sister has no relation to the sex 
nature. The thrill of pleasure experienced 
while spooning with a sweetheart is a sex 
thrill. 
"Tn the human family spooning be- 
longs only to the married. If in- 
dulged in by them beyond reasonable limits 
it may lead to sensuality and result in physi- 
cal, mental and moral injury. If practiced 
among the single, it is fraught with the great- 
est temptations. The love of lovers will find 
expression. Its expression should be gov- 
erned bv a true knowledge of human nature, 
and moral conviction. There are many natural 
Ignorance 
Regarding 
Love 
Should the 
Unmarried 
Snoon ? 932 
Personal Help for Men 
and innocent channels through which true 
love will find expression. Love is inventive. 
Intelligent love, guided by moral convictions, 
will find only channels of expression which 
are safe. While a kiss may be indulged in 
occassionally without any harm by pure- 
minded young people who are soon to be mar- 
ried, it is not essential to their happiness or 
to the expression of their love. 
"Dancing to the popular dance 
music of the present day is to be 
condemned on the same ground as spooning. 
The best authorities on sex agree that the pub- 
lic dance that is not properly supervised has 
a marked tendency to complicate the sex prob- 
lems of young people. Dancing creates less 
sexual excitement than spooning. Many are 
together in a lighted room or hall while danc- 
ing, but spooning usually takes place when 
a young man and woman are alone. Spoon- 
ing is more common and more dangerous. 
"In a man, if spooning is persisted 
in, it leads to sexual excitement. 
This causes a surplus of energy to 
be secreted. The bodv can retain and use only 
a normal quantity of this energy; while in 
spooning a man may form many times the 
Dancing 
vs. 
Spooning 
Effects of 
Sexual 
Excitement 
on Man Spooning 
933 
normal amount. The sexual excitement 
caused by spooning sends large quantities of 
blood to the genital organs and the sustained 
pressure of blood in these parts for many min- 
utes or for hours causes the pain commonly 
called "stone ache." If spooning is continued 
for a few months or years one will have the 
added sensation of a first-class case of varicose 
veins and varicocele. The surplus energy 
that is secreted in spooning will be dissipated 
through involuntary losses if not dissipated in 
some form of sexual indulgence. 
"Personal familiarities with men 
that arouse a strong sex desire may 
lead to ovarian troubles in women 
which sometimes require an operation. Fre- 
quent excitement leads to leucorrhea, or 
whites, corresponding to sexual weakness in 
the male. Nervous prostration, invalidism, 
consumption or one or more of many other 
troubles may follow. 
"With the kindest interest in you and yours, 
believe me, Sincerely your friend, 
"T. W. S." 
Tn one of the northern universities, 
a young man called on the writer 
for an interview. He knew that 
he was in a critical condition. He wanted in- 
Effects of 
Sexual 
Excitement 
on Woman 
Example of 
Mental 
Sexual 
Excitement 934 
Personal Help for Men 
formation and help. He was found to be 
impotent and possibly temporarily sterile. He 
had been quite free from the secret sin and 
visiting the immoral woman. It was ex- 
plained to him that his trouble was in his 
mind, that he had indulged frequently, for 
several years, in some custom that had resulted 
in high states of sexual excitement. He was 
then asked to explain what he considered to be 
the cause. His reply was, "Professor, I guess 
I know, but I never dreamed that it could be- 
come serious. For nearly three years, two or 
three times a week, three or four hours at a 
time, I have been visiting a lady friend. We 
have engaged in kissing, embracing, reclining 
and sitting on each other's laps. We have 
not been personally immoral, though I have 
been ungentlemanly enough to make improper 
requests which she always refused. I guess 
this is the cause of all my trouble." He was 
assured that his conclusions were correct, and 
that no habit is more injurious to the sexual 
system, physical health, mental strength and 
moral character than the form of sexual ex- 
citement of which he was guilty. 
A university student was delirious 
with grief and crushed in spirit 
over a disappointment in a love affair. He 
Another 
Example Spooning 
935 
told of a very romantic courtship he had car- 
ried on with a young lady the previous year; 
of the many ecstacies he had experienced 
while caressing her, of the correspondence 
that followed during the vacation, of the 
heart-crushing experience he was passing 
through due to a note he had received from 
her, informing him that she had discovered 
during vacation that she did not love him, 
and demanding that their engagement be 
broken. 
She had mistaken a sex thrill for love. 
When apart from him during vacation, she 
discovered her mistake. If she had been in 
love with him, she would have been as con- 
scious of that love when they were separated 
by weeks and miles as while with him. 
In personal interviews and corre- 
spondence the author has been fre- 
quently asked, "How can I tell when I am in 
love?" This is a serious and difficult ques- 
tion to answer. Friendship and courtship 
make it possible for young people to become 
thoroughly acquainted, and intelligently 
decide whether they love each other, and if 
it would be wise for them to marry. Young 
people who engage in undue familiarities are 
How to 
Know when 
"in Love" 936 
Personal Help for Men 
not able to discriminate between a heart-beat 
of love and a sex thrill of pleasure. Spooning 
leads to sexual desire and the thrill accom- 
panying spooning is an expression of sexual 
excitement. Sensual desire dominates in any 
purely physical attraction and is true love's 
enemy. When physical attraction is all that 
draws two people together, they will discover, 
when they are separated, that they do not love. 
In real love, the attraction is as intense when 
two are apart as when together. Spooning 
is a blight to courtship, and causes unwise 
marriages that often end in divorce. If young 
men would give of their best and most courte- 
ous conduct, and young women not permit 
cheap liberties, very few girls would fall, 
more men would remain honorable, fewer 
mistakes would be made in the choice of a 
companion, and divorce would be correspond- 
ingly less frequent. 
It is natural for a young woman 
who has not dulled her finer sensi- 
bilities through spooning to shrink from the 
passionate embrace and kisses of a young man. 
It is just as natural for the well brought-up 
young man to be chivalrous and decent in all 
of his expressions of regard. He does not 
Natural 
Sentiments Spooning 
937 
choose to play with fire, but keeps well within 
the margin of sexual safety. This sense of 
modesty and discretion on the part of one, and 
the feeling of tenderness and protection on the 
part of the other, are instinctive in every 
normal young woman and man. If he and 
she are true to these finer feelings, they will 
be chaste in all of their associations with each 
other and will not easily be overcome by a 
social atmosphere that approves of hugging 
and kissing. When home training and teach- 
ing become wise and natural, young people 
will be educated to use their sex energy in a 
way that will prevent these sexual mis-steps, 
and friendship will naturally deepen into in- 
telligent, pure love, and courtship terminate 
in happy marriage. 
There are many diseases that may 
be communicated through spoon- 
ing. The most serious of these are 
the venereal diseases. It is a well-established 
fact that these diseases may be communicated 
to innocent parties by kissing, biting, and 
scratching. When a young man, infected with 
venereal disease, enters the office of a careful 
physician, he is asked to wash his hands in 
antiseptic water before touching anything in 
the office. 
Physical 
Dangers 
of Over= 
Familiarity 938 
Personal Help for Men 
Innocent 
May Suffer 
from 
Infection 
A physician, who knew the parties 
in the case, has written the follow- 
ing incident, which appeared in a 
recent issue of one of the leading medical 
journals: A number of young people gave a 
public entertainment. An entrance fee was 
charged. The proceeds were to be given to 
some charitable cause. Kissing formed a 
special feature of the entertainment. In the 
crowd was a popular young man who was 
under the care of this physician for syphilis. 
Shortly after the play, five girls and two clean 
young men developed syphilitic sores on their 
lips, two other members of the party had simi- 
lar sores on the cheek. 
These innocently infected persons 
were never told the nature of their 
troubles. Doctors rarely explain these things 
to innocent sufferers, hence nearly all people, 
especially women, believe such cases extremely 
rare. From the health point of view indis- 
criminate kissing should be eliminated from 
society. 
The Jews understood the Mosaic 
law, "Thou shalt not commit 
adultery," to apply to the overt act 
only. Christ interpreted the Mosaic law to 
Results of 
Infection 
Christ's 
Interpreta- 
tion of the 
Mosaic Law Spooning 
939 
mean character as well as conduct, when he 
said, "Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust 
after her hath committed adultery with her 
already, in his heart." This statement is not 
true simply because Christ said it. It is a 
scientific fact that lustful mental states injure 
the body, the nervous system, the mind and 
moral nature through the generation and dis- 
sipation of the sex life as much and often- 
times more than would the overt act of adul- 
tery. Christ here speaks of mental adultery. 
The man commits it in his own heart. 
Modern society offers no oppor- 
tunity more conducive to mental 
adultery than is found in the 
familiarities and liberties often taken in 
snooning. Christ's statement being true, in 
view of the prevalence of promiscuous love- 
making, it is certain that the victims of this 
form of adultery exceed those of the overt 
act. The reader is not to infer from this that 
all who indulge in hugging and kissing are 
charged with the sin of mental adultery. Pure 
and innocent young people might use this 
custom, as a means of expressing their love 
for each other, for a short time, with only 
limited injury; but, if persisted in, it is likely 
Causes and 
Effects of 
Mental 
Adultery 940 
Personal Help for Men 
to lead to mental adultery, for the same reason 
that tippling leads to drunkenness. No 
human hand ever misappropriated property 
until the mental thief had stolen it again and 
again. Finally the mental thief becomes the 
master and forces the hands to take the stolen 
property. The overt act of adultery is never 
committed until mental adultery has been 
committed time and again. A system of ethics 
that permits men to kiss and hug girls until 
passion is aroused beyond self-control is 
responsible for the fall of girls and men as 
well. The conclusion is irrefutable. Spoon- 
ing is the cause that leads to mental adultery 
and here is found the main cause for the down- 
fall of young people. CHAPTER LXIII 
MASTURBATION 
As remarked before, the primary- 
function of the sex organs is to 
build a boy into a man. Any sex practice that 
abuses the reproductive organs is decidedly 
harmful. It means a loss of manly perfection 
and the vigor that might otherwise be attained, 
as it directly interferes with the process of man- 
building. Those who abuse the sex organs, 
instead of developing into strong, courageous, 
self-respecting, self-controlled men, have poor 
health, are weak in will-power, cowardly, 
namby-pamby, with little interest in athletics, 
sports, or social activities. They are not eager 
to do, to dare, and to achieve difficult tasks 
and do things in a man's way, but lack a man's 
fine spirit to play the Game of Life according 
to the rules of the game. Thus the effect of 
self-abuse in destroying character, is more seri- 
ous than the physical evils that follow. 
The organs of sex are the most 
delicate and vital organs of the body. The 
Destroying 
Man=Power 
Self=Abuse 
941 942 
Personal Help for Men 
more delicate and the more vital an organ, 
the more serious the punishment Nature in- 
flicts for its abuse. The most frequent sex 
practice that injures these organs is self-abuse. 
It is fittingly called self-abuse for the reason 
that every organ of the body, faculty of the 
mind, and power of the soul are injured by it. 
The act is the unnatural one of a person ex- 
citing his own sex glands, and can be either 
mental, or both mental and physical. 
As explained in the chapter on 
"The Reproductive Organs," the 
most common cause of a boy forming this habit 
is due to irritating secretions collecting under 
a long or tight foreskin, causing an itching or 
inflammation. The effort to relieve this leads 
the boy to frequently handling these parts. 
Thus self-abuse may begin. Sometimes the 
habit is taught to the boy by others. Lack of 
parents talking frankly to their children about 
these things, viciousness on the part of asso- 
ciates, and ignorance on the part of boys are 
the reasons for boys forming the habit. When 
a boy does not know how these organs will be 
injured by handling and has not been taught 
that his strength and virility, or weakness and 
depravity, rest on the conservation of his sex 
How 
Acquired Masturbation 
943 
forces, he may repeat the abuse until it becomes 
a fixed habit. 
The author has had young men say 
in a personal interview, or by cor- 
respondence, "So far as I know I was born 
practicing the secret sin. My memory does 
not carry me back to the time when I began." 
Interviews and correspondence with many 
young men have convinced me that a majority 
of them began the habit before they were four- 
teen. The next largest per cent during the two 
years of puberty. Very few men begin the 
habit after they are seventeen. 
When this habit has been fre- 
quently indulged in for several 
years, many or all of the following 
symptoms may be observed: the eyes will be 
sunken and dull, the cheeks pale and pasty, the 
face, neck and back covered with bumps and 
pimples, the disposition peevish and irritable, 
hands cold and clammy, mind sluggish, feel- 
ings morbid and despondent, actions extremely 
diffident and shy. In extreme cases thoughts 
may be entertained of suicide or even suicide 
attempted. No one should be suspected of or 
accused of the secret sin because of one or 
more symptoms common to this habit. Any 
Learned at 
Early Age 
Symptoms 
Common 
to this 
Habit 944 
Personal Help for Men 
one of the symptoms mentioned in this para- 
graph may be caused by some disturbance of 
the various organs of the body. 
Supersensitiveness in the glans, 
urethra, prostate and bladder re- 
sult from this habit. This unnatural sensibility 
renders these parts far more susceptible to 
excitement and establishes something like a 
habitual desire to repeat the act. Its effect 
upon the blood and the circulation is shown 
in a muddy, clammy skin. It exhausts the 
physical and nervous energy of the body, 
causes pains in the testes and spermatic cord. 
Varicose veins and an atrophied testicle or 
testicles frequently follow. 
Frequent and painful urination, 
unnatural and involuntary emis- 
sions, sexual weakness, partial or permanent 
sterility often result from this habit. Though 
the practice may not be a direct cause of in- 
sanity, the morbid mental states, due to it, are 
doubtless contributory causes. Extreme mas- 
turbators may become so stupid and sluggish 
mentally that they appear feeble-minded, and 
such their posterity often are. 
Physical 
Effects 
Functional 
Effects Masturbation 
945 
The nervous system is the grand 
medium of injury to all the other 
tissues and substances of the body. Not only 
are the nerves generally debilitated and tor- 
tured into a diseased sensibility and irritability, 
but there is also a great deterioration and wast- 
ing of the nervous substance. The special 
nervous properties suffer in due proportion- 
varying in different persons with different 
peculiarities. The sense of touch becomes less 
discriminating, and in some instances a numb- 
ness of the extremities and limbs, and even of 
the whole body, is experienced, sometimes 
actually reaching that state which is called 
numb palsy. 
The sense of taste is equally 
blunted, and loses that delicate 
perception of agreeable qualities on which the 
delightful relish of proper and healthful food 
depends, and there arises the unnatural de- 
mand for vicious culinary preparations and 
stimulating condiments, and the distaste for 
simple diet. The sense of smell becomes im- 
paired, and but faintly perceives the rich fra- 
grance which the vegetable kingdom breathes 
forth for man's enjoyment. The ear grows 
dull of hearing, and oftentimes a continual 
Effect on 
Nervous 
System 
Effect on 
the Senses 946 
Personal Help for Men 
and distressing ringing is the only music which 
occupies it. 
But, of all the special senses, the 
eyes, generally, are the greatest 
sufferers from venereal abuses. They become 
languid, lose their brightness and liveliness of 
expression, and assume a vacant appearance, 
and perhaps become red and inflamed, and 
weak and excessively sensitive, so that wind, 
light, etc., irritate and distress them. The 
sight becomes feeble, confused, and sometimes 
is entirely lost. 
The brain is neither last nor least in 
these sufferings. Associated as it i's 
with the genital organs, it participates largely 
in all their direct excitements. Its extreme 
irritability and its morbid sympathy with the 
alimentary canal, heart and lungs, as a mere 
animal organ, cause it not only to suffer ex- 
cessively from all their irritations, but to reflect 
those irritations back upon the same organs 
and throughout the whole system, mental and 
physical. 
It impairs the intellectual and 
moral faculties and debases the 
mind in the greatest degree, or causes a deep 
Effect on 
the Sight 
Effect on 
the Brain 
Destroys 
Body 
and Mind Masturbation 
947 
and lasting regret which sometimes rises to 
the most pungent remorse and despair. It 
would seem that an instinctive law in the in- 
nate moral sense remonstrates against this 
filthy vice; for, however ignorant the young 
man may be of the moral character of the act 
or of the physical and mental evils which 
result from it, every one who is guilty of it 
feels an instinctive shame even in his secret 
solitude, after the unclean deed is done! 
Hence all who give themselves up to the ex- 
cesses of this debasing indulgence carry about 
with them continually a consciousness of their 
defilement and cherish a secret suspicion that 
others look upon them as debased beings. 
They can not meet the look of others, and es- 
pecially those of the female sex, with the mod- 
est boldness of conscious innocence and purity. 
This shamefacedness or unhappy quailing 
of the countenance often follows them through 
life; in some instances, even after they have 
entirely abandoned the habit, and become mar- 
ried men, and respectable members of society. 
They feel none of that manly con- 
fidence and gallant spirit and 
chaste delight in the presence of virtuous 
women which stimulate young men to pursue 
Want of 
Self= 
Respect 948 
Personal Help for Men 
the course of ennobling refinement and mature 
them for the social relations and enjoyments 
of life; and hence, they are often inclined 
either to shun the society of women entirely 
or to seek such as are by no means calculated 
to elevate their views or to improve their 
morals. And if, by the kind offices of friends, 
they are put forward into good society, they 
are continually oppressed with shrinking em- 
barrassment, which makes them feel as if 
they were out of their own element, and look 
forward to the time of retirement as the time 
of their release from an unpleasant situation. 
A want of self-respect disqualifies them for 
the easy and elegant courtesies which render 
young men interesting to the other sex and 
often prevents their forming those honorable 
relations in life so desirable to every virtuous 
heart. 
All of the various distressing 
symptoms that are found in dif- 
ferent stages of the practice of self-abuse are 
used and exaggerated by quacks and charlatans 
who send out printed matter filled with over- 
drawn pictures of the results of the habit, that 
are written merely for the purpose of scaring 
the ignorant and drawing the unwary into 
Beware of 
"Men's 
Specialists" Masturbation 
949 
their nets, making them their victims and 
bleeding them for money. The practice being 
a secret vice makes the path easier for the 
quack, as a sensitive nature frequently dreads 
to admit to parent or teacher that he has the 
habit, but is able to discuss such matters with 
the stranger whose advertisements he has read 
and whom he has come to consider as a friend. 
Let young men beware of these so-called 
"men's specialists." Their only interest and 
concern is with the money they can obtain 
from their victims. 
Certainly marriage need not be 
recommended to the confirmed 
masturbator in the hope or expectation of 
curing him of his vice. He will most likely 
continue it afterwards, and the circumstances 
in which he is placed will aggravate the mis- 
ery and the mischief of it. For natural inter- 
course he has little power or no desire, the 
indulgence of a depraved appetite has de- 
stroyed it. Besides, if he be not entirely im- 
potent, what an outlook for any child begotten 
of such a degenerate stock! No being so 
degraded has any right to curse a child with 
the inheritance of such a wretched descent. 
Far better that the vice and its consequences 
Will 
Marriage 
Help? 950 
Personal Help for Men 
should die with him. It is hardly credible, 
and yet it is true, that there are medical men 
who advise illicit intercourse as a remedy for 
masturbation. In other words, they destroy 
two souls and bodies under pretense of saving 
one! No man of any principle can approve 
for a moment such a course. 
Physicians differ in their opinion 
as to the degree of harmful results 
accompanying this abuse. Some 
dismiss it as being of no serious consequence, 
while others treat it as a serious matter. The 
verdict of two eminent physicians follows: 
Winfield Scott Hall, M. D. (Leipzig), 
Ph. D. (Leipzig) : "Once the act is learned, 
whether accidentally or otherwise, if repeated 
frequently, it seriously interferes with, if it does 
not wholly defeat, the plan of Nature for the 
young manh development, and he fails to grow 
into the splendid type of manhood that was 
his birthright. The degree to which he falls 
short of reaching the full stature of manhood 
will be in direct proportion to his departure 
from Nature's laws of clean, right-living." 
(The italics are Dr. Hall's.) 
The late Luther H. Gulick, M. D., of New 
York Academy of Medicine, Fellow Ameri- 
What Two 
Eminent 
Physicians 
Say Masturbation 
951 
can Medical Association, etc., who made in 
France an exhaustive study of the influences 
which were shaping the morale of the Ameri- 
can Expeditionary Force, with the purpose of 
further protecting our young men from the 
evils usually associated with army life, and 
especially to help them during and after 
demobilization when the stimulus of winning 
the war had passed, says: "Masturbation is 
to be condemned upon grounds more serious 
than the dangers of physical exhaustion 
through excess. In proportion as masturba- 
tion is learned early and becomes a confirmed 
habit, it decreases one's ability to live a nor- 
mal sex life, for it takes the sex desire while 
it is growing and gives it a wrong direction. 
* * * The more deeply the solitary habit 
is developed, the less ability and inclination 
there is for the normal intimacies of married 
life, as well as for normal social life with men 
and women. * * * Sex desire is by mas- 
turbation satisfied in its lowest and least ade- 
quate level. * * * This habit makes sex 
pleasure a self-gratification rather than the 
rapture of loving another person. Masturba- 
tion is therefore condemned because it ties up 
sex feeling with selfish enjoyment; because it 
sets up nerve associations that are purely 952 
Personal Help for Men 
physical; and because one knows that it is in 
violation of the social conscience." 
There is one point that is worthy 
of serious consideration as it repre- 
sents a verdict on which all reputable physi- 
cians agree, i. e.: Any indulgence that abnor- 
mally excites or stimulates the sex glands 
beyond their natural activity weakens, impairs, 
and eventually destroys man-power. Coupled 
with this established scientific finding of the 
physicians is an extremely vital fact that every 
boy or young man should know: the amount of 
injury depends on the physical and the mental 
constitution of the individual. The coarser- 
grained, heavier and slower the individual, 
the less injury seems to follow. It is gener- 
ally those who are best equipped with the 
highest capacities to enjoy a full life, the men 
with the finer nervous organization and the 
higher mental capacity, and who have there- 
fore the most conspicuous promise of a great 
career and of making themselves a power 
among men, who are injured most. 
So long as the mind itself is not 
actually diseased and there re- 
mains a single element of desire to come into 
An 
Extremely 
Vital Fact 
Control 
of the 
Habit Masturbation 
953 
the heritage of a man's estate, if the victims 
of this habit stop immediately, once and for 
always, there is hope for them. After one has 
made up his mind to positively quit the habit 
and strengthened his purpose by enlisting all 
of his will-power to this objective, the next 
thing he must resolutely strive for is purity of 
mind. All exciting literature, all indecent 
conversations, and all associations with any 
thing or any body that excites sex desire, must 
be totally renounced. Read the chapter on 
"Man-Power" and carefully follow all the 
suggestions therein given on health, hygiene, 
and outdoor sports. All stimulating food and 
drink, and especially coffee, dope, and alco- 
holic beverages, must be avoided. The mind 
and body must both be constantly and ardu- 
ously employed, the diet plain and limited, the 
sleep never prolonged, the bed hard, the room 
well ventilated, the covering light, and the 
habits as much broken into as practicable. 
Generally the temptation comes at some par- 
ticular hour, or under some especial and well- 
known circumstances. At such times extra 
precautions must be taken to occupy the mind 
with good thoughts, and to destroy the old 
associations and opportunities. Unless a per- 954 
Personal Help for Men 
son is actually insane, an earnest endeavor, 
backed by rigid observance of the rules laid 
down, will enable a youth to conquer himself 
and his unnatural desires. 
Nature will help the adolescent 
youth or young man who at once 
absolutely stops the practice. Little by little, 
gradually but surely, the system will recover 
from its prostration, and health and virility 
will again flow in the blood, build up the mus- 
cles, put tone into the nerves, and newness of 
life into body and brain. There is no cause 
for any youth giving way to hopeless despair, 
if, when he is warned of his danger, he will 
stop once and for all. The way out is to fol- 
low the suggestions given in the preceding 
paragraph and to seek plenty of entertaining 
interests, wholesome companionship, normal 
social activities, interesting employment and 
to have an absorbing "hobby." However, 
those who break Nature's laws can not expect 
to right about face and immediately recover 
what they have destroyed. Tt will require 
from one to three years of absolute continence 
before Nature can remedy the injury. 
Recovering 
Man=Power Masturbation 
955 
When 
Everything 
Fails, 
Then What? 
When everything fails we have no 
hesitation in recommending sur- 
gical treatment. This is of various 
kinds, from repeated blistering to that ancient 
operation which Latin writers tell us was 
practiced upon the singers of the Roman stage, 
called infibulation. This renders the act im- 
possible or nearly so. Castration need never 
be resorted to. By one means or another we 
can say that there are exceedingly few cases, 
except the actually insane, who can not be 
broken of their habit, and considerably or 
wholly relieved of its after effects. CHAPTER LXIV 
THE SOCIAL EVIL 
Prostitution 
Venereal diseases and prostitution 
are inseparable. Both are as old as history. 
Prostitution exists because of man's uncon- 
trolled sex desire seeking gratification in 
illicit intercourse. Whenever man has been 
dominated by lust, the venereal scourges have 
followed as a result of his promiscuous indul- 
gence. Undefiled wedlock, and continence in 
single life, are the only remedies that will 
banish the twin evils of prostitution and vene- 
real diseases. 
A few facts will definitely show 
just how closely venereal diseases 
are related to prostitution. In many of the par- 
lor houses of the underworld the patron pays 
his money in advance to the madam, who then 
punches a card for a designated prostitute. 
In the year 1919 there were in the small town 
of P , Pa., three houses with a total of 
twenty prostitutes. A raid was made on one 
of the houses that contained three prostitutes, 
all of whom had syphilis. The day's cards 
A Disease= 
Breeder 
956 The Social Evil 
957 
were seized for evidence in the court. There 
were twenty-eight, thirty-seven, and forty-nine 
punch-marks respectively for the current day. 
Take this as an average day, multiply this by 
365 days, and the result is 41,601. Just three 
prostitutes, and yet they could expose to syphi- 
lis in one year 41,601 patrons. Some of these 
men would be repeaters, yet the awfulness of 
this number may be realized if we recall that 
in our population of 110,000,000 we have but 
sixty-nine cities with a population of over 
100,000. Bear in mind that the disease- 
breeding of these three prostitutes did not stop 
with infecting their patrons, for these men 
in turn became carriers of "the germ of de- 
bauchery" to others, including those beyond 
the underworld. But P had not three, 
but twenty prostitutes. Each of them, includ- 
ing the three syphilitics, carried a physician's 
certificate that she was free from disease 
When they were carefully examined, it was 
found that eighteen had syphilis, or gonor- 
rhea, or both. Eighteen diseased out of 
twenty, or ninety-five per cent, yet all were 
reported free from disease. How well this 
shows the so-called safety afforded bv official 
inspection! Hundreds of like authentic cases 
could be given. A survey of the Barbary 958 
Personal Help for Men 
Coast of San Francisco in 1917 found ninety- 
seven per cent of the prostitutes infected. In 
the Standard Statistics on Gonorrhea and 
Syphilis published by the American Social 
Hygiene Association are the following state- 
ments: "Ninety-eight per cent of prostitutes 
(white) have at least one venereal disease. 
Two out of every thirteen deaths in the United 
States today are directly or indirectly caused 
by spyhilis." Every man who consorts with 
these disease-mongers soonor or later will be- 
come diseased. Furthermore, illicit indul- 
gence, even when confined within the select 
social classes, will eventually end in a like 
disaster. The history of all promiscuous men 
and women has proved this, though proof is 
unnecessary to any logical or reasoning mind. 
The inexorable law of cause and effect clearly 
shows this to be inevitable. 
The best scientific minds have 
given their conclusions that con- 
form to the well-considered opin- 
ions of those who have made exhaustive 
experiments with licensed prostitution and 
have declared that "medical inspection is a 
ghastly farce"; that prostitution destroys 
health, demoralizes manhood, and is an eco- 
Modern 
Attitude 
Towards 
Prostitution The Social Evil 
959 
nomic menace; therefore a cleaning up of the 
whole business is essential, and this by what 
Abraham Flexner aptly terms "abolition," as 
distinguished from "regulation." These 
modern attitudes have already led to the clos- 
ing of many red light districts, and few have 
reopened. Even the long-established medi- 
cally inspected brothels maintained by the 
British Army in India have now no official 
support. The Commander-in-Chief ordered 
the closing of the brothels and revoked the 
advice often given in the past, that "the men 
should visit only such places as are under so- 
called medical control," and he now states, 
"Not only is such advice contrary to orders, 
not only does it offer direct temptation, but 
it offers it under guarantees that are quite 
illusory, since, according to the most recent 
medical opinion and research, there can be 
no system of examination which can justify 
any guarantees of immunity from disease." 
The red light district, with its over 
thirty-three per cent of feeble- 
minded prostitutes, is no longer considered "a 
necessary evil," but a business that exists be- 
cause of the money there is in it for the 
madams and the male reprobates who live off 
Not a 
Necessary 
Evil 960 
Personal Help for Men 
of the earnings of the prostitutes; for the 
police and the public officials who give their 
protection that they may share in this money; 
for doctors of questionable principles who 
have "free from disease" certificates to sell 
and give the prostitutes "606" at $50 a treat- 
ment; and for the equally criminal landlords 
who rent $20 shanties for $200 a month, and 
more pretentious places at a corresponding 
ratio. Where commercialized prostitution 
now exists, either the citizens tolerate graft 
and a corrupt police force, or they are so en- 
grossed in their own selfish affairs as to be 
totally detached from life's serious realities 
and their own civic responsibilities. Or, as 
John Clarence Funk, M. A., LL. B., puts it, 
"Desire for gain, and public unconcern, may 
be considered as two of the basic causes of 
prostitution." 
The "necessary evil" has been 
thoroughly exposed as unnecessary 
through the vast number of placards, pamph- 
lets, lectures, motion pictures, and exhibits 
that are being given in civilization's warfare 
against venereal disease. Again and again do 
these educational measures repeat that conti- 
nence before marriage is not only entirely 
Sex 
Necessity 
Out=of=Date The Social Evil 
961 
compatible with good health, but that it is 
the only way to safeguard and maintain 
health; that complete continence is wholly 
possible; and that those who indulge in illicit 
relations wilfully expose themselves to most 
serious communicable diseases. The chapter, 
"Single Standard Manhood," shows the un- 
enlightened selfishness and shortsighted un- 
reasonableness of the individual who clings to 
the discarded notion of sex necessity. 
The young man of today who 
"goes down the line to see the 
sights" walks with the searchlight of educa- 
tion and science upon him. It is an out-of- 
date idea that a good time means booze, 
women, and debauchery. It is now generally 
known that just one such night may result, 
ten or twenty years later, in softening of the 
brain or other forms of insanity, in apoplexy, 
or many other conditions that cripple a jnan 
in his prime and rob him of his power, and 
of his capacity for joy, when life ought to 
have most to offer and should be the sweetest. 
The young man who is ridiculed 
and called a "goody-goody" be- 
cause he does not join a bunch of fellows in 
their "good time" is not weak and lacking in 
"Going 
Down the 
Line" 
The Strong 
Man 962 
Personal Help for Men 
nerve, but strong, courageous, and manly. It 
takes vastly more of courage and manhood to 
hold out against this sort of coaxing, teasing, 
and ridicule, than it does to "follow the 
bunch." The young man who has convictions 
and the courage of his convictions, has the 
qualities of leadership. He is never a fol- 
lower. Those who visit lewd women do it 
because they lack in manly qualities. To in- 
dulge the animal nature indicates weakness, 
not strength. A high-minded man respects 
himself, his mother, his sisters and his sweet- 
heart, and he does not lower himself by Going 
Down the Line and resorting to means that 
are maintained for those who lack in self- 
respect and in self-control, and who there- 
fore feel no degradation in consorting with 
social outcasts rotting with disease. A third 
of all prostitutes are feeble-minded, and most 
of the balance are low-grade mentally. Their 
life is sordid and unhappy. To use their own 
words, "It is hell." The man who consorts 
with them in this "hell" absorbs its atmos- 
phere, and his mind becomes filled with per- 
verted images that debase his vision of 
womankind. It dulls and deadens all that is 
finest in him and destroys his appreciation for 
the good and the clean. When he comes to The Social Evil 
963 
marry, he has lost the possibility of real mate- 
ship with a noble woman, for it is beyond his 
capacity to appropriate the inspiration and 
blessing her love could give to his life. 
Licensed prostitution has no argu- 
ment in its favor. It makes drug 
fiends and criminals. In the recent 
United States Quiz connected with the Porter 
Resolution to limit the cultivation of the raw 
materials of "dope" to the minimum medical 
needs, testimony was given showing that prac- 
tically all the women of the red light district 
are dope addicts and that eighty per cent of 
all narcotic users are criminals. Prostitution 
is making a tremendous increase in dope ad- 
dicts, as every addict is possessed with an 
insane desire to pass on the habit to others. 
It promotes graft by tempting public officers 
to collect illegal revenues for bestowing il- 
legal privileges. It furnishes a meeting place 
for the idle and the licentious that contami- 
nates the mind of the young. It increases 
rape by creating a desire for young and attrac- 
tive girls so that procurers are constantly en- 
snaring the innocent and unwary and forcing 
them to have illicit relations with anything 
that has the price. 
What 
Licensed 
Prostitution 
Promotes 964 
Personal Help for Men 
"The American Plan" is a pro- 
gram made in America for fight- 
ing prostitution and its resulting diseases. If 
every decent man does his part to help further 
it, prostitution will cease. This program is 
a system of extermination rather than regula- 
tion of prostitution. In no way is sexual 
intercourse outside of marriage advised or 
legalized. The single standard of morals is 
its basis. The plan is founded on medical 
science and has the whole-hearted support of 
the medical profession. Its appeal is to the 
American democracy of manhood and woman- 
hood, to their decency, their conscience, and 
their chivalry, that they do their part to in- 
crease the happiness in their community by 
stamping out these twin enemies of homes and 
children. 
The program for accomplishing 
these results includes: (1) ade- 
quate medical treatment of venereal diseases; 
(2) practical sex education; (3) rigid law 
enforcement; and (4) human, red-blooded 
recreation. This fourfold program is pre- 
dominantly one of preventive measures. 
Throughout, it holds to this ideal. Every item 
of it is in practice somewhere in the United 
"The 
American 
Plan" 
The 
Program The Social Evil 
965 
States. The campaign regards venereal 
diseases as being spread mainly through pros- 
titution. The complete execution of this 
program means the ultimate end of prostitu- 
tion and the gradual doing away with all of 
its attendant evils. 
Anyone interested in this Ameri- 
can program of clean living can 
easily obtain the necessary instructions for the 
complete fourfold campaign by writing for 
specific information on the various subjects 
to the following: 
Where to 
Obtain 
Information 
Sex Education: The State Board of 
Health; any Social Hygiene Society; The 
Treasury Department United States Public 
Health Service, Washington, D. C.-V. D. 
Pamphlet No. 48 explains the American pro- 
gram. The American Social Plygiene Asso- 
ciation, 370 Seventh Ave., New York City, 
co-operates with the Government in this cam- 
paign. This society has a splendid line of 
pamphlets and books that are authoritative in 
the field of sex education and law enforcement. 
(Their pamphlets Nos. 182, 195 and 196, con- 
sider the American plan.) 
Law Enforcement: The Department of 
Law Enforcement, American Social Hygiene 966 
Personal Help for Men 
Association, 370 Seventh Ave., New York 
City. 
Recreation : Playground and Recreation 
Association of America, 315 Fourth Ave., 
New York City. This organization also has a 
Community Service Department. 
Medical Measures: Division of Vene- 
real Diseases, United States Public Health 
Service, Washington, D. C. CHAPTER LXV 
SPECIAL SEX AILMENTS 
Any form of intense and oft- 
repeated stimulation of the sex 
impulse, as in self-abuse or spooning, makes 
an individual liable to several sex ailments 
and weakens his resistance against all disease. 
Those who have any constitutional weakness 
of the nervous system are injured most. The 
non-venereal diseases are not contagious. 
They are the harvest reaped from over- 
excitement of passion. Where it is possible 
for other causes to produce these conditions, 
they will be mentioned in the discussion of the 
specific case. We shall now consider some of 
the special sex ailments. 
Varicocele is the name given to 
swollen veins in the epididymis, 
which is the juncture of the spermatic cord 
and the testes. Sometimes, in its aggravated 
form, it may be followed by an atrophied tes- 
ticle. The network of veins within the scrotum 
swell and become so full of sluggish blood that 
Non= 
Venereal 
Diseases 
Swollen 
Veins in the 
Testicles 
967 BEWARE OF QUACKS 
968 Special Sex Ailments 
969 
they feel like a handful of tangled earthworms 
or knotted strings adhering to the side of the 
testicle, and the testes may become tender and 
stringy. Varicocele usually occurs on the left 
side. The disease on both sides is rare. 
Thin wall-veins, with defective 
valves, are characteristic of some families. 
Members of such families are likely to develop 
varicose veins on the legs, arms and other parts 
of the body, as well as in the veins where the 
spermatic cord joins the testicle. Any consti- 
tutional weakness is favorable to the develop- 
ment of varicocele. A very long spermatic 
cord, a bruise in the crotch, riding on a motor- 
cycle or bicycle, and even much hard horse- 
back riding, or anything that keeps an undue 
amount of blood in the veins, causing them to 
enlarge and remain enlarged, may cause vari- 
cocele. This being so, any form of sexual ex- 
citement oft repeated and persisted in, is 
especially inclined to cause this trouble. Self- 
abuse, and especially spooning, are frequently 
direct causes of varicocele. 
Winfield Scott Hall, M. D., Ph. D., says: 
"Varicocele is really not at all a serious condi- 
tion, particularly if the swelling is only mod- 
erate in size. Quacks and charlatans have 
Causes 970 
Personal Help for Men 
emphasized far beyond the truth the serious- 
ness of varicocele. Conservative surgeons do 
not undertake corrective measures or any kind 
of treatment unless varicocele is large enough 
to cause discomfort and to serve as a distinct 
handicap. * * * In that case the surgeon 
usually advises the removal of the enlarged 
veins. When the varicocele is not large enough 
to justify its removal the best way to relieve 
any slight discomfort it might occasion is to 
wear a suspensory." 
Varicocele does not incapaciate a 
man for fatherhood. In all moderate cases of 
varicocele, proper bathing of the affected 
parts, light exercise, wearing a suspensory and 
avoiding all causes of sexual excitement will 
gradually remove the trouble. The time re- 
quired to effect a cure for varicocele will be 
largely determined by the time required to 
bring the mind under control. No cure need 
be expected until the cause is removed. Even 
after a successful operation, if the individual 
continues frequent and prolonged sexual ex- 
citement, he need not be surprised at any time 
to find himself with a second attack of vari- 
cocele. 
Remedies Special Sex Ailments 
971 
If one gets up too soon from 
mumps, exposes himself to unfav- 
orable weather, or overexercises and overlifts, 
he is very likely to bring on a return of the 
mumps. When this occurs, the mumps go to 
the testicles, producing varicose veins and an 
atrophied gland, with all their attendant dis- 
comfort. The mumps usually affect the left 
side, rarely the right side, and still more rarely 
both sides. Treatment for the effects of mumps 
in this form is the same as for varicocele, 
being especially careful if one takes the mumps 
to remain in bed until entirely well, and avoid 
all overstraining and exposure for several 
weeks. Contrary to the view held by many of 
the laity, sterility, or loss of the possibility of 
fatherhood, rarely occurs as a result of vari- 
cocele caused by mumps. 
Each testicle is enclosed in a sack 
of serous membrane. In hydrocele this sack 
becomes filled with water, due to the over- 
secretion of a thin fluid. The size of the en- 
larged gland is the principal inconvenience. 
When the testicle is quite large, a suspensory 
should be worn. Hydrocele is often due to 
an injury, a general condition of "dropsy," or 
to gonorrheal conditions. It may gradually 
Dangers 
from 
Mumps 
Hydrocele 972 
Personal Help for Men 
disappear or grow larger in size. The injury 
done by worrying over this disease is often 
much greater than the disease itself. 
Specialized study of the prostate 
gland is comparatively recent, but 
enough is found out to show the extreme im- 
portance of this gland in connection with its 
relation to a man's physical and mental stabil- 
ity. William T. Belfield, M. D., Professor 
of Genito-Urinary' Surgery, Rush Medical 
College, Chicago, says: "Disease of the gland 
is often accompanied by the most pronounced 
disturbance of other functions. * * * There 
are two things that can reach the prostate 
gland-excessive intercourse and the gonor- 
rheal inflammation. Excessive intercourse is 
silly, vulgar, brutal, and destructive. Kept 
up persistently, injury is sure to result to the 
gland, * * * but gonorrhea-the gono- 
coccus-is the deadly enemy of the prostate. 
The inflammation gradually extending to the 
deep urethra involves the organ. Woe to the 
victim. Dame Nature lays on the strap un- 
mercifully." 
If all unnecessary sexual excite- 
ment and abuse of the sexual function were 
avoided in youth and mature manhood, this 
Enlargment 
of the 
Prostate 
Treatment Special Sex Ailments 
973 
disease would be practically unknown. Avoid- 
ing these causes is not only a preventive, but, 
in mild cases, it will produce a cure. If pal- 
liative treatment, from a competent physician, 
is received in time, the disease may be cured. 
In the more serious forms a surgical operation 
is the only treatment. 
"Emissions are always dangerous 
and lead to lost manhood, sexual 
weakness, debility and insanity" is a very com- 
mon lie printed and spread broadcast bv 
quack doctors to convince those ignorant of 
sex matters that seminal emissions (the dis- 
charge of a fluid from the sex organs of the 
male during sleep) are both unnatural and 
dangerous. These quacks make capital out of 
this natural process common to young men 
and get thousands of the uninformed to believe 
that this is a grave condition of the sex organs 
which will surely result in "lost manhood," 
"insanity," etc., unless the scared youth em- 
ploys their marvelous skill. 
Between the ages of fifteen and 
seventeen (though it may be ear- 
lier or later) there occur in nearly all healthy 
young men occasional discharges in the night 
called seminal emissions, commonly expressed 
The Quack 
and His 
Victims 
The Truth 
About 
Emissions 974 
Personal Help for Men 
as "night losses," or "wet dreams." As was pre- 
viously explained, the seminal vesicles are con- 
stantly secreting an albuminous-like fluid, and 
it is simply the emptying of these vesicles that 
have become filled. This release of the con- 
tents is as normal a process as the emptying of 
the bladder in urinating. Emissions are per- 
fectly natural and do no harm, unless they are 
too frequent or always accompanied with las- 
civious dreams. Ordinarily, they occur from 
one to four times a month, and as such are 
considered normal. 
The frequency of emissions and 
the amount of the discharge varies 
greatly with different individuals, depending 
largely on what one does and thinks. If the 
emissions come oftener than the usual fre- 
quency, which is once in a week to once in 
four weeks, they are classed as harmful emis- 
sions. They may be as frequent as two or 
three times a week, or even nightly for months. 
This should be corrected, as they are then very 
weakening, and destructive of man-power. 
The causes of frequent emissions, 
are overeating and eating too much rich foods, 
meat, eggs, and condiments, drinking alcoholic 
beverages, not having sufficient physical and 
Harmful 
missions 
Their Cause Special Sex Ailments 
975 
mental activity, wrong position in sleeping, 
or frequent strong sexual excitement in 
thought or deed. Any of these causes will 
produce an unnatural disturbance and in- 
crease the frequency of the emissions. 
One having seminal weakness 
should exercise care in regard to 
his food and drink. Certain foods 
heat the blood and furnish materials for the 
formation of sexual secretions, and should be 
avoided. All meats should be used sparingly. 
Fried food, gravies, rich pastries, stimulating 
condiments, as pepper, vinegar, mustard, etc., 
should be used very sparingly. Do not use 
strong tea or coffee, or alcoholic beverages. 
Drink freely of water in the early part of the 
day, but none after the evening meal. Eat 
plenty of ripe fruits and fresh vegetables to 
keep the bowels open and secure one or two 
normal actions daily. Empty the bladder be- 
fore retiring, and do not go to bed when con- 
stipated without relieving the condition by an 
injection of one or two quarts of warm water 
into the rectum. However, relying on warm 
water injections, or their frequent use, will 
incline to weaken the lower bowel and encour- 
age it to retain the fecal matter instead of 
Their Rela= 
tion to 
Food and 
Drink 976 
Personal Help for Men 
regularly expelling it. Constipation is fre- 
quently the cause of involuntary emissions as 
well as sex excitement. See fuller instruction 
on how to overcome constipation in the chap- 
ter on "Man-Power." 
Where there are too frequent semi- 
nal emissions one should form the 
habit of sleeping on the side, never on the 
back. The reason for this is that the seminal 
vesicles lie between the bladder and the rec- 
tum. When they fill up during the night, if 
one sleeps on his back, a seminal emission is 
likely, from the pressure of the rectum and 
the bladder upon the seminal vesicles. It is 
sometimes necessary, when one can not break 
himself from assuming this position during 
sleep, to fasten a towel around the body with 
a hard knot in it just over the spine. 
By being careful about these sev- 
eral things, taking plenty of exercise, keeping 
the mind busy and avoiding everything that 
awakens sexual desire, a cure will soon be 
effected and a normal condition brought about. 
Spermatorrhea is a condition of 
extreme sexual weakness in which 
the seminal secretions constantly and invol- 
The 
Sleeping 
Posture 
The Cure 
Spermator= 
rhea Special Sex Ailments 
977 
untarily escape. The aim of the quack doctor 
is to make his victims believe that an occa- 
sional emission is an evidence that he will soon 
have the disease. Frequent and continued 
sexual excitement is the chief cause of sper- 
matorrhea. Diseases of the prostate gland, 
exhaustion of nervous energy, diseases of the 
brain and the spinal cord, may also cause it. 
When it is due to a constant sexual 
waste one should follow all the suggestions 
just given for the control of too frequent emis- 
sions. The advise of a trustworthy physician 
should be sought and faithfully followed. 
There is no speedy cure, but, fortunately, true 
spermatorrhea is very rare. 
A general rule applies to the treat- 
ment of all sexual ailments. The 
first thing is to remove, if possible, 
whatever cause there may be; and second, 
direct the efforts toward building up the gen- 
eral health. A patient afflicted with any of 
these troubles must make up his mind that 
whether he is cured or not depends almost al- 
together on what he is able to do for himself 
in the way of breaking off bad habits, properly 
occupying his mind, and exercising self- 
control. 
Treatment 
Treatment 
of All 
Sexual 
Ailments 978 
Personal Help for Men 
Somewhere between forty-two and 
forty-nine, all women experience 
a physical change known as the "change of 
life." Most men do not know or realize that 
men experience a change similar to that of 
women. The change is not so marked, is more 
gradual, and comes from ten to fifteen years 
later than in women. The man may still be- 
come a father, but there are physical changes 
which are serious, and, unless a man is very 
careful, serious consequences may result from 
overindulgence or overwork. Dr. Acton, says: 
"Many of the affections of the brain, under 
which elderly persons suffer, and to which a 
certain proportion annually succumb, are 
caused by excesses committed at a time when 
the enfeebled powers are unequal to support- 
ing sexual desire. 
After the change, which may take 
from one to three years to accom- 
plish, there is a new lease of life, provided, of 
course, all has gone well. Should a man seek 
unduly to excite his waning sexual energies, 
it can be the beginning of a decline which 
leads to a decrepit old age or to death. In 
the present state of society, with our manners, 
Change 
of Life 
A New 
Lease of 
Life Special Sex Ailments 
979 
passions, indulgences, man does not always 
die-he sometimes destroys himself. 
Blessed are the aged men who are 
placid, happy and reasonable, in- 
stead of tormented with senile desires that 
too often result in regrets without end! Those 
who sit at the feet of Wisdom and listen to 
her counsels shall be delivered from the tor- 
ments of strong passion and from folly, and 
from many sore straits and profound remorse. 
A Blessed 
Old Age "look at me, don, six feet one" 
"If you conquer the Tiger, you will be master and he will draw 
vour chariot for you. If the Tiger conquers, he will be the driver 
and you will draw his wagon for him." 
980 CHAPTER LXVI 
VENEREAL DISEASES 
The Most 
Urgent 
Health 
Problem 
of Today 
"Gonorrhea and Syphilis," says 
Surgeon General Rupert Blue, 
President of the American Medi- 
cal Association, Chief of the United States 
Public Health Service, etc., "constitute the 
most urgent, vital health problem confronting 
the country today. From time immemorial 
these diseases have been the scourge of man- 
kind, flourishing in the darkness of ignorance 
and striking inexorably the innocent and help- 
less as well as the guilty. Now they must be 
exposed to the cleansing light of universal 
knowledge." 
Gonorrhea and syphilis are the 
chief venereal diseases. They 
have fittingly been classed among the most 
awful plagues which scourge humanity. They 
are the most widespread and universal diseases 
affecting the adult population. They cause 
men the greatest loss of time, health, money, 
and efficiency. They result in unspeakable 
The Sexual 
Plagues 
981 Syphilitic sores caused by contact with persons having syphilis 
COVRTKSY OF THE K«SMAN CO 
982 Venereal Diseases 
983 
suffering and misery, and often necessitate 
very painful and dangerous operations. They 
have been called the "diseases of vice," be- 
cause they are generally contracted by sexual 
relations with women who sell or illicitly 
give their bodies to indulge the sex-desire of 
men. 
Eternal torture in a literal hell of 
burning brimstone used to be the 
plea of evangelists to save converts 
for heaven. Advanced thinkers know that 
fear is a poor substitute for moral stamina. 
The true instructor in sex does not use fear 
as a means of protection against the misfor- 
tunes attendant upon illicit indulgence, be- 
cause he knows that it is practically worthless, 
besides being a feeble and unworthy appeal 
to decent manhood. In this chapter, it is 
necessary to mention what is awful, but care 
has been taken to state, without any exaggera- 
tion, only actual facts, which are known to all 
competent physicians. 
All venereal diseases are contagi- 
ous infections. Usually they are 
transmitted through sexual intercourse, but 
they are infectious or "catching" by other 
means. They can be conveyed to a well per- 
Scientific 
Facts 
Without 
Exaggera= 
tion 
Danger of 
Infection 984 
Personal Help for Men 
son on coming into physical contact with some 
immediate object or some part of the body of 
the diseased one on which are present the liv- 
ing germs. Especially active in transmitting 
the germs are any of the discharges of the 
disease, as long as the discharges are moist. 
Underclothing, bedding, or anything that 
comes in contact with the discharge can read- 
ily infect an innocent person. 
That all easy women are diseased 
part of the time, and some easy 
women are diseased all of the time, 
is a statement generally accepted by reliable 
physicians. It is impossible for a prostitute 
to ply her trade many days without becom- 
ing infected. Once infected, she begins to 
scatter the infection among her patrons. The 
man who visits the public or private prostitute 
risks his health at every exposure. The dan- 
gers of infection are so great that, in the lec- 
tures that were delivered to the soldiers in 
the World War, and to which compulsory 
attendance was enforced, they were told: 
"There is one sure way to avoid venereal 
diseases and their disastrous consequences, and 
only one. It does not require the wisdom of 
Solomon to deduce that these diseases are to 
Risk of 
Exposure 
from 
Prostitutes Venereal Diseases 
985 
be avoided by abstinence only. This is the 
sure way, this is the natural way and the right 
way. All other methods, along whatever lines 
they may be directed, will be fraught with 
peril." The medical men of the army gave 
a marked evidence of how they regarded the 
risk from exposure in that the soldier who did 
not report, within a specified time, after he had 
been with a woman, was subject to court- 
martial. 
Some young men think they can 
use an antiseptic and be safe. Of 
this, William T. Belfield, M. D., Professor 
of Genito-Urinary Surgery, Rush Medical 
College, Chicago, says: "The many antiseptic 
washes, lotions, and injections upon which the 
ignorant rely for protection from disease, are 
inefficient, because the skin and mucous mem- 
branes into which the germs have quickly 
penetrated act as a wall, preventing the anti- 
septic from reaching them." Even the most 
efficient prophylactic treatment is not a sure 
preventive. When specially trained attendants 
under medical supervision gave it to the sol- 
diers in the war, who, in violation of instruc- 
tion, exposed themselves to venereal infection, 
they were all informed: "It is not a sure 
The Only 
Sure 
Preventive 986 
Personal Help for Men 
agency of prevention. * * * It is offered 
as a last resort for what it is wortth. * * * 
It is better than nothing * * * and it has 
at least the argument of cleanliness on its side, 
but you must not make the mistake of regard- 
ing is as a certain preventive. It is not." 
Twenty-five per cent of the men so treated 
came down with venereal diseases. 
Women who are known as clan- 
destine prostitutes, because they 
ply their trade secretly, are more dangerous 
than those who live in the red-light sections. 
Prostitutes often insist that they are free from 
infection because they can show a recent cer- 
tificate to that effect from a doctor. These 
inspections do great harm in that they create 
a feeling of safety that is not justifiable. In 
the chapter, "The Social Evil," is shown how 
these medical inspections are usually so im- 
perfect as to be without any value. A reliable 
examination requires laboratory equipment, is 
a time-consuming process, and demands spe- 
cial skill. None of these factors enter into 
the hasty examinations made by officials. 
Again, even if the examinations were reliable, 
they can not be made after every exposure, 
and a woman free from disease at one time 
A Deceiving 
Safeguard Venereal Diseases 
987 
may get it after the next exposure and have 
sexual relations with a large number of men 
before the next inspection. Examinations, to 
be effective, would be as necessary for every 
male patron as for the women. It is also well 
to bear in mind that a woman can be free 
from personal disease, but a passive carrier of 
the "germs of debauchery" from another. 
Continence is the only safe preventive of vene- 
real diseases. 
Chancroid, also called "Soft 
Chancre," is a filthy disease originally trans- 
mitted by a woman of uncleanly habits. Usu- 
ally, this disease does not produce such serious 
effects as gonorrhea or syphilis, but, like these, 
it requires skillful and intelligent treatment, 
and those who resort to quacks, take a patent 
medicine, or a misguided friend's prescrip- 
tion, may do so to their sorrow and deep 
regret. It is contagious and is usually con- 
tracted during the sexual act. The seat of 
infection is usually on the penis and most fre- 
quently on the glans. This disease usually 
makes its appearance in from one to five days 
after exposure, rarely later. It breaks out in 
the form of one or more sores resembling 
ulcers. If neglected, or if for any reason the 
Chancroid 988 
Personal Help for Men 
disease becomes complicated, the groins are 
likely to become affected. This condition is 
called bubo, or, commonly, "blue ball." This 
is difficult to cure and puts a man on the sick 
list. 
Chancroid is often inclined to 
spread. With improper treatment 
or any unwise meddling, and sometimes with- 
out any apparent cause, it becomes violent. It 
is then called a phagedenic or devouring 
chancroid. This is a terrible scourge which, 
sometimes in a few hours, will reduce the 
testicles to shreds and the remainder of the 
sex organs to bloody and stringy stumps, and 
will then proceed to the abdomen with the 
same horrible and disfiguring havoc. In such 
cases, its treatment is perhaps the most ago- 
nizing a human being is ever called upon to 
endure. This is a fact affirmed by renowned 
specialists. 
Chancroid is especially dangerous 
because the soft chancre may hide 
a hard chancre, which is the first sore of syphi- 
lis. Whether the sore is hard or soft, one or 
many, painful or painless, does not determine 
whether one is carrying the germs of syphilis, 
the more serious disease. It can only be posi- 
Devouring 
Chancroid 
Need of 
Expert 
Treatment Venereal Diseases 
989 
tively known after the physician has made 
repeated microscopical examinations of the 
sore, followed by repeated testings of the blood 
for the syphilis germ. This thorough and re- 
peated examination the patient should unvary- 
ingly demand. This is not a matter to be 
ignored. There is always a danger of a 
syphilictic infection hiding under the guise of 
chancroid. John H. Stokes, A. B., M. D., 
the eminent syphilogist of the famous Mayo 
Clinic and the University of Minnesota, re- 
ferring to this possibility, says: "The patient 
can not be regarded as well until blood tests 
taken as late as four months after the infection 
have shown that he does not have syphilis." 
If this care is taken, many a man will be saved 
the horror of discovering a few weeks or years 
later that he has syphilis with all the increas- 
ing complications which follow any delay in 
its prompt recognition and treatment. 
Many men speak of this disease 
as if it were no worse than a bad cold. In this 
they are terribly mistaken. It is far more seri- 
ous than chancroid, and, in recent years, the 
medical profession has come to know that it 
is much more difficult to cure or even to con- 
trol than syphilis. Comparing gonorrhea 
Gonorrhea 990 
Personal Help for Men 
with syphilis, Dr. Stokes says: "Of the two, 
gonorrhea presents the more depressing pic- 
ture." He adds: "Its enormous prevalence 
and the terrible and tragic costs which it en- 
tails upon uncomprehending mankind, give 
it a leading place among the scourges of the 
race." He continues by referring to "its bull- 
dog obstinacy, and slowness of response to 
treatment," which require "dogged persistence 
on the part of the doctor and a liberal share 
of knowledge as to what not to do as well as 
what to do, with a co-operation from the 
patient which is rarely forthcoming." 
Gonorrhea is contagious, and is 
usually acquired during inter- 
course, though the innocent may become its 
victims, as it is possible to be acquired from 
the use of a closet, towel, bathtub, etc., that 
have been used by one diseased. It is a mucous 
membrane disease, caused by the germs, geno- 
cocci, getting into the urinary canal in the 
penis and attacking the canal, from whence 
they often go deeper into the sex organs. Here 
the germs produce serious complications 
Mhich sometimes do not appear until years 
afterwards. 
Gonorrhea 
Highly 
Contagious Venereal Diseases 
991 
The disease appears from a day to 
a week after exposure. The first 
sign is a swelling of the penis accompanied 
by a burning and itching pain when urinating. 
A day or two later, a yellowish pus comes 
from the end of the penis, and the testicles 
often become swollen. Generally there are 
painful erections, commonly called chordee. 
As the disease progresses, urination becomes 
difficult, painful, and frequent. The dis- 
charge is more abundant, becoming thick, 
milky in color with a tinge of green, and, in 
severe cases, it is streaked with blood. 
There is a frequent tendency for 
gonorrhea to become chronic. 
This stage, called gleet, may run 
for an indefinite period. The mucous mem- 
brane of the urethra may now become chron- 
ically inflamed, with a constant oozing away 
of a thin, watery discharge. In the chronic 
state, the disease has many possible serious 
results: (1) It may produce stricture, which 
consists of a narrowing of the urethra at one 
or more places, which interferes with the out- 
flow of the urine from the bladder. Ulcers 
form, and as they begin to heal they form 
scars. As the scars increase, they narrow the 
Symptoms 
of 
Gonorrhea 
Some 
Serious 
Results of 
Gonorrhea 992 
Personal Help for Men 
diameter of the urinary canal. The flow of 
the urine becomes more and more difficult, 
until finally the canal may be entirely closed 
so that it becomes impossible to pass urine. 
When this occurs, a surgical operation is im- 
perative. In all cases of stricture, the way 
to a cure involves frequent and painful stretch- 
ing of the urinary canal with instruments. 
(2) The disease germs may and often do pass 
over into the seminal vesicles, where the dis- 
ease becomes very difficult to cure. It now be- 
comes very depressing, as, in this stage, it 
causes frequent emissions of a weakening 
character and may result in the loss of all 
sex power. (3) If the disease germs enter 
the ampulla, the little tube which connects 
the testicle with the urinary canal, they will 
pass over and infect the teste. Usually only 
one is infected, though both may be. The 
inflamed testicle becomes very much enlarged 
and the pain is excruciating for a number of 
days or weeks, and the extension of the in- 
flammation through the little tube sometimes 
closes its channel. When this occurs on both 
sides, the man is doomed to sterility. He can 
never become a father. This is the chief cause 
of sterility in men. (4) When the prostate 
and the deep urethra have been infected with Venereal Diseases 
993 
gonorrhea, the disease germs often ascend into 
the bladder. Here they cause a serious trou- 
ble that is incurable. (5) While gonorrhea 
is essentially a local disease of the sexual 
organs, the gonococci may get into the blood 
and attack distant parts of the body. Here 
the disease may enter the joints and cause a 
very painful rheumatism that is incurable. 
Sometimes it produces permanent deformity. 
In the heart, the germs cause valvular trou- 
ble that may result in sudden death. (6) 
Again, the germs may enter the prostate gland 
and seemingly go to sleep, only to awaken 
after a period of one, two, five, and some say 
as many as ten years. During this time, the 
individual is always liable to have the germs 
enter his blood, or, if married, he is in con- 
stant danger of infecting his wife. 
Gonorrhea causes from five to ten 
per cent of its victims to fail to win 
out and achieve those things that make life 
big and worthwhile. This is due to an after- 
effect of the disease, which is a peculiar physi- 
cal and mental depression, a sort of nervous 
prostration and general weakness that destroys 
a man's energy and his ability to buckle down 
to work. He is restless and listless. The 
An After= 
Effect of 
Gonorrhea COULD "DADDY" ONLY HAVE KNOWN 
994 Venereal Diseases 
995 
cause is traced to gonorrhea, which attacks 
the structures so closely associated with the 
nervous system and so fully supplied with 
nerves. The gonococcis are not now at work 
in the system. It is an after-effect of the 
disease. 
The gonorrheal discharge is very 
infectious. A single drop getting 
into the eyes may cause total blindness in a 
few days. In November, 1919, in an outline 
for lectures on venereal diseases for the sol- 
diers in the war, the Surgeon-General of the 
Army issued the statement that "over ninety- 
eight per cent of infant blindness in the United 
States is due to gonorrhea." Fortunately, 
blindness from this cause can, in most cases, 
be prevented, if a one per cent solution of 
silver nitrate is dropped into the eyes imme- 
diately after birth. The National Committee 
for the Prevention of Blindness, in a recent 
summary of state laws, shows that there are 
forty-four states with laws relating to preven- 
tion of blindness. Mandatory provisions for 
treatment should be universal. 
If a man with dormant gonorrheal 
germs marries, these inactive 
germs are apt to find new life in the new 
Gonorrhea 
of the Eye 
Infection of 
Innocent 
Wives 996 
Personal Help for Men 
tissue of the mucous membrane of the genital 
ducts and cavities of the innocent wife. Here 
they become active, multiply rapidly, and pro- 
duce all the sad results of this terrible infec- 
tion, expect that in women it is often infinitely 
more serious, complicated, and painful, and 
more frequently fatal. This is because the 
anatomy of a woman's sexual organs is differ- 
ent, they being largely inside the abdominal 
cavity, so that the disease is able to get at her 
very vitals. Usually, in the innocent, the 
symptoms of uneasiness, pain, and flow of 
mucous that accompany the beginning of the 
infection, are considered as an attack of leu- 
corrhea. This gives the disease a chance to 
reach the womb, the fallopian tubes, and the 
ovaries, before the family doctor is called. 
"Gonorrhea in women," again to 
quote Dr. Stokes, "is the most 
embittering and tragic aspect of 
disease. The overwhelming proportion of in- 
fections are innocent. A man has a chance, at 
least, to know what ails him. The woman, in 
the existing state of popular and even medical 
sentiment, is lied to at every turn of the way." 
The all to frequent "honeymoon 
appendicitis," with its pain in the 
side, is caused by the pus of gonorrhea in the 
Most 
Tragic 
Aspect of 
Gonorrhea 
"Honey= 
moon Ap= 
pendicitis" Venereal Diseases 
997 
tubes that carry the eggs from the ovaries to 
the womb. When these tubes close, the woman 
becomes sterile, and an operation is necessary. 
Or she may remain sufficiently normal to have 
one child, but that will be the last, and the 
mother either dies in a few days of "childbed 
fever," or survives to be a pain-racked invalid 
until a major operation takes away all that 
makes her a woman. Noeggerath states that 
eighty to ninety per cent of pelvic inflamma- 
tory disease, and fifty per cent of absolute and 
one-child sterility in women, is due to gonor- 
rhea. Most women who go to the operating 
table for abdominal troubles, go because ol 
gonorrheal infection, for which the supposedly 
cured husband is directly responsible. He is 
also responsible for the condition of many 
of the wives who are sued for divorce because 
they are childless. 
Self-treatment, advertised quick 
cures, or any Dr. Knoxit's reme- 
dies, are all dangerous. To resort to any of 
these invites future disaster and the likelihood 
of never being cured. The taking of some- 
thing to "dry it up" is simply to stop the out- 
ward discharge and run a big risk of driving 
the germs into the body where they will dam- 
Treatment 
for 
Gonorrhea 998 
Personal Help for Men 
age the vital organs and cause excruciating 
agony. Taken care of in time by a competent 
physician, gonorrhea can be cured, but if too 
long neglected it requires superlative skill and 
may be absolutely incurable. Even under 
proper treatment, one must remember that 
when the discharge stops, the disease is not 
always cured. A small drop in evidence when 
getting up in the morning is just as dangerous 
as a heavy discharge of pus and just as liable 
to infect another. 
A complete cure of gonorrhea can 
only be determined by time and 
repeated microscopic tests. Microscopic ex- 
aminations are essential to locate where the 
disease has its stronghold, and treatment must 
be directed to these places. If a patient does 
not insist on such a treatment he is leaving 
his recovery uncertain, and taking a chance 
that may later cause him, unintentionally, to 
give the disease to his wife, causing her to 
be barren or a life-long invalid. 
The general lack of an under- 
standing of the serious nature of 
gonorrhea is mainly responsible for the awful 
havoc wrought by this disease, both in its 
effect on the man, and the ghastly tragedy 
Determining 
a Cure 
The Need of 
Enlighten- 
ment Venereal Diseases 
999 
which an infected husband may bring upon 
his innocent wife, or vice versa. A little en- 
lightenment will safeguard from much of this. 
Dr. Stokes says: "Complications and * * * 
delay in cure * * * are not the fate of 
every patient. * * * They are the. pen- 
alty of negligence, ignorance, and indifference. 
* * * The outlook in the treatment of the 
disease can be brightened in exactly the pro- 
portion that these unfavorable factors can be 
eliminated by raising the standard of public 
comprehension, by developing the personal 
co-operation of the patient, and by contribu- 
ting to the efficiency of medical care." 
When once a man has been in- 
fected with gonorrhea and has not 
received skilled treatment, although he may 
have had no symptoms for months or even for 
many years, he should be microscopically ex- 
amined several times before he marries. He 
owes this much to himself, his future wife, 
and his children to be. If evidences of the 
disease are found, he should renew his treat- 
ment and cancel his engagement, until he is 
declared really cured by a competent genito- 
urinary surgeon. An old, uncured gonorrhea 
calls for superlative skill and may involve 
years of observation and treatment. 
Gonorrhea 
and 
Marriage "VENEREAL 
D I 5 E A 5 E 
MU5T GO" 
1000 Venereal Diseases 
1001 
Syphilis has correctly been called 
a master disease. It exceeds tuber- 
culosis in its blight on the race today and in 
its relentless habit of transmitting the sins of 
the father unto "our brothers of the unborn 
tomorrow." Experts, who have made syphilis 
a life study, state that there is not a structure 
or a tissue of the body which syphilis can not 
affect and that if it should cease at this moment 
to be transmitted, its effects would not dis- 
appear from the world within two and per- 
haps three generations. Syphilis is an infec- 
tion caused by a specific germ, Spirocheta 
pallida. It is a blood disease. 
Ten lepers are far less dangerous 
as a source of contagion than one 
syphilitic. So great has been the general 
loathing of mankind against this disease and 
its sufferers that it is but recently that the 
word has been allowed to appear in print, 
except in medical journals and textbooks. The 
germs of syphilis enter the blood through the 
slightest scratch or tear of the skin in any 
part of the body, and once in, the infection 
is carried by the blood to all parts. The germs 
can enter an opening so small that it can not 
be seen except with a microscope. They will 
Syphilis, 
a Master 
Disease 
How 
Acquired 1002 
Personal Help for Men 
pass through an opening on the lips, the 
tongue, the inner surface of the mouth, the 
eye, the finger, or on any part of the body that 
may come in contact with them. Infection 
is also often carried in the perspiration of the 
arm pits and between the thighs. The sex 
organs and the mouth most often carry the 
germs of syphilis. Usually the disease is ac- 
quired by these parts coming in contact with 
an infected person. 
The time between the exposure 
and the first appearance of infec- 
tion varies from ten to thirty-five days, 
twenty-one being the average. A small pink 
pimple, or ulcer, called a chancre, will appear 
at the point of inoculation. This sore has 
more or less hardness at the base and will 
vary from the size of a pin head to an inch 
and a half in diameter. If the disease is not 
stopped here, the germs travel to the nearest 
set of glands. A marked and rapid swelling 
of the glands in the neck, accompanied with 
sore throat or a sore on the lip, strongly indi- 
cate that the sore is a chancre. The chancre 
is the first outer evidence of syphilis, and the 
sooner a man secures skillful treatment, the 
better his chance for cure. 
Primary 
Syphilis Venereal Diseases 
1003 
John H. Stokes, A. B., M. D., the 
eminent syphilologist of the well- 
known Mayo Clinic, previously referred to, 
i's generally recognized by the medical pro- 
fession as the greatest living authority on sex 
diseases. For this reason, the writer is quot- 
ing him oftener than other authorities. He 
speaks from positive knowledge based on ex- 
tensive experience. This, in part, is what he 
says of syphilis and its cure in the early stage: 
"Syphilis is the most wide-spread of all in- 
fectious diseases. Its victims are numbered in 
millions, not in hundreds. Not a man lives, 
or a woman * * * whose house has not 
seen its entry and departure, who may not at 
any hour have his name added to the rolls. 
* * * If one has been infected and the 
germs are immediately found by the micro- 
scope, and powerful doses of the newer drugs 
such as '606' are given directly into his blood 
before the spread of the germs take place, all 
the germs can be killed off, and a complete 
and rapid cure results. It should be reiterated 
that this is only possible in the earliest days, 
almost the earliest hours of the visible chancre. 
Treatment can not begin too soon and it can 
easily be too late." As there is always a period 
of several days to several weeks from the time 
Expert 
Counsel 1004 
Personal Help for Men 
one is infected until the chancre appears, 
Dr. Stokes urges that if a person knows he has 
been exposed he should immediately obtain 
treatment. This, Dr. Stokes says, is "the 
ideal time" for a cure. 
Because a genital sore is small and 
in no way painful is no indication 
that it is not a chancre. A sore of 
any kind that appears on the sex organs de- 
mands the immediate attention of a skilled 
physician to prove that it is not a syphilitic 
sore. "This," Dr. Stokes says, "can only be 
done by repeated microscopic tests to see if 
there are any germs of syphilis, and repeatedly 
testing the blood for them for a period of not 
less than three months from the time the sore 
first appears. Tn order that these germs may 
be found, beyond the necessary equipment and 
knowledge on the part of the doctor it is essen- 
tial that the sore must be seen early and have 
no treatment of any kind, whether applied 
to the sore or taken internally. A little dust- 
ing powder of almost any kind, a wash of 
almost any kind, a wash even of boracic acid, 
may kill or drive the germs from the surface 
of the sore; but in the deeper tissues, where 
they are much harder to reach and may not 
Danger 
in Any 
Genital 
Sore Venereal Diseases 
1005 
be found at all, they may continue to thrive. 
The sore may even heal over above them, and 
the patient yet develop spyhilis. * * * It 
is safe to say that every year tens of thousands 
of men unknowingly throw away a 100 per 
cent possibility of being cured of syphilis bv 
listening to some friend who advised them 
to 'dry it up with calomel powder'; or by 
accepting the ever-ready advice of Joe the 
drug clerk, only to find a few weeks or a few 
years later that the disease has them by the 
throat. Too often the doctor himself is the 
man who 'burnt it off,' or allowed the patient 
to believe that healing meant 'chancroid' and 
not syphilis. Repeated microscopic examina- 
tions, three or four-repeated blood tests, 
so as to catch the first signs of the disease in 
the blood, are a part of the modern require- 
ments that, the more unvaringly the patient 
demands and the physician carries out, the 
more will syphilis be recognized in time for 
cure." Remember these words are from 
Dr. Stokes and are therefore the verdict of 
one of the very highest authorities on syphilis. 
The symptoms of secondary syphi- 
lis appear in from one to four 
weeks after the first appearance of the chancre. 
Secondary 
Syphilis 1006 
Personal Help for Men 
Sometimes they are very distressing, but occa- 
sionally may be so light as to escape all notice. 
This stage usually begins with more or less 
fever, headache, nervousness, pains in the 
limbs and back, breaking out of inflamed sores 
on the body, with swelling of the testes and 
the glands of the neck, with sore throat, rapid 
loss of hair, etc. These may all appear, or 
only one or two, but if there are only a few, 
it does not necessarily indicate a strong 
natural resistance to the disease. Here again 
Nature gives a chance for cure, but not by 
any half way or inefficient treatment. Steady 
and faithful treatment for several years is now 
absolutely essential, otherwise the disease wins 
the fight and comes back again in the fright- 
ful body and mind destroying effects of the 
third stage. 
The glaring skin eruptions that 
are so noticeable when they occur 
in the secondary stage of syphilis do not con- 
stitute its most dangerous sores. The disease- 
spreading germs thrive in moist places, and 
here they are generally overlooked. They are 
found in flat, wart-like bumps, or a few faint 
pink spots, that hide under the arms and be- 
tween the legs. Sometimes the germs swarm 
Danger 
Sores of 
Syphilis Venereal Diseases 
1007 
by millions in the throat, and in the corners 
of the mouth. In the mucous membranes 
they form the so-called mucous patches. These 
patches are practically painless, and so are 
not readily suspected of being connected with 
the disease. Sometimes they are even over- 
looked by the hurried doctor. The friction 
due to eating and talking rubs off the tops of 
the mucous patches, while walking and the 
use of the arms liberates the germs under the 
arms and between the legs. Set free, these 
dangerous infectious germs readily spread to 
towels, toilet articles, drinking cups, the lips 
of children or grown-ups, eating utensils, 
pipes, bedding, clothing, etc. Thus a single 
kiss may convey this terrible disease to an 
innocent child or an adult, or personal con- 
tact with any of the articles mentioned may 
act as a means of transferring the germs to 
another. 
There is no definite time in which 
the third stage of syphilis appears. 
There is a period of calm in which a man will 
be apparently well. This may be for a few 
weeks or months, or may continue for ten or 
twenty years or even longer. But unless the 
patient has had modern and sufficient treat- 
Calm 
Before 
the Storm 1008 
Personal Help for Men 
ment, he is not cured. This calm is terrible 
in its very uncertainty. Too often it merely 
furnishes the awful contrast between its peace 
and the body and mind destroying storm that 
follows later when life may be at its prime, 
and wife and children and a career would 
make living especially sweet. The seed that 
was sown has not been uprooted, and the har- 
vest can not be escaped. 
It is in this period of calm that 
the patient becomes a public men- 
ace. In the secondary stage of syphilis, 
whether treated or not, all of the outward 
symptoms of the disease disappear, and the 
patient seems to be permanently healed. If 
he has not had skillful and sufficient treat- 
ment, he is liable at any time to become a 
walking pestilence of destruction. Occa- 
sionally, from some inner hiding place in the 
body, new germs enter the blood. They may 
cause no noticeable inconvenience beyond 
some aches and pains, or perhaps a slight 
eruption on the skin, or the infected one may 
have what he considers canker sores in the 
mouth, or "smoker's patches." These erup- 
tions and sores are the dangerous disease- 
A Public 
Menace Venereal Diseases 
1009 
spreading sores of syphilis. Thinking himself 
well, the individual does not heed these minor 
annoyances. Unaware of how he is hourly 
endangering others, he may, from these sup- 
posed "canker sores," etc., infect his wife and 
children. Many a trusting fiance, or girl 
who has permitted undue familiarities, has 
in this way acquired the frequent lip chancre 
or tonsillar chancre. Reliable physicians 
constantly warn: "Treatment enough to clear 
up a secondary eruption of syphilis is not suf- 
ficient to prevent its recurrences." 
Surgeon-General Rupert Blue 
speaks of this "scourge of man- 
kind flourishing in the darkness of ignorance 
and striking inexorably the innocent and help- 
less as well as the guilty." Almost always, 
a man who has exposed himself to infection 
will go to a doctor if a chancre or a gonor- 
rheal discharge appears, because he knows at 
least something about the sore or the dis- 
charge, and something of what it will mean 
if he does not receive prompt treatment. But 
the blameless victim who innocently contracts 
syphilis seldom realizes what this first sore of 
syphilis means, and he or she suspects no dan- 
Infecting 
the 
Innocent 1010 
Personal Help for Men 
ger from a small chancre which may appear 
to be a "cold sore" on the lips or in the mouth, 
or only an innocent "hangnail" on the finger. 
Through a similar ignorance many an inno- 
cent wife has contracted gonorrhea and neg- 
lected treatment until too late, because, in her 
ignorance, she thought her trouble a case of 
leucorrhea, or "whites." It is for these rea- 
sons that a widespread knowledge of the dan- 
gers of syphilis and gonorrhea is so neceessary, 
if the innocent are to be protected from the 
awful scourge of venereal disease. 
In this third and last stage of 
syphilis, any, many, or all parts of 
the body may become diseased. 
The skin becomes hideously ulcerated, the 
lymphatic glands become enlarged, the blood 
vessels are affected, causing them later to 
break, resulting in paralysis, epilepsy, or 
apoplexy. Every organ, gland, and tissue of 
the body becomes invaded by this insidious 
disease. In the words of William Lee 
Howard, M. D., "It would be only to give 
an anatomical list of all the organs in the body 
to state where the syphilitic poison penetrates. 
When there has been no efficient treatment; 
Frightful 
Effects of 
Tertiary 
Syphilis Venereal Diseases 
1011 
when the habits of living have been filthy and 
immoral, the third stage is simply one of thor- 
ough physical rottenness." Tumor-like 
growths and ulcers appear that eat their way 
into the skin and bones about the face, leaving 
it hideous and disfigured, or, these destroyers 
attack the important vital organs. Wherever 
they go, they make a destruction that is per- 
manent. They literally devour the tissue, and 
such tissue is never replaced except by scar. 
In this last stage of syphilis, the 
germs sometimes attack the brain, 
and the spinal cord. This causes paresis, or 
softening of the brain, and a complete wreck- 
ing of both body and mind. When the germs 
settle in the spinal cord they bring on loco- 
motor ataxia, which affects the limbs, the 
nerves of the bladder, the eyes, the stomach, 
and other parts. Contrary to general opinion, 
all syphilitics are not doomed to these two 
diseases. A person with syphilis can do a 
great deal to escape the overwhelming horror 
they bring. Sexual dissipation, and intemper- 
ance in eating and drinking and smoking, 
incline the victims to these complications. 
Living a perfect physiologic life, or right liv- 
ing in every detail, is positively essential. 
Locomotor 
Ataxia and 
Paresis 1012 
Personal Help for Men 
Effect of 
Inherited 
Syphilis 
on Offspring 
All of the physical wreck and the 
mental ruin that syphilis brings, 
making life literally a living hell, 
is transmitted to the second generation by 
syphilitics. The children who are born alive, 
have the disease with all its blight as actually 
as if it had been acquired from a chancre, 
except that it is intensified, so that the bud 
of life is decayed and rotten. As Ibsen says: 
"They are worm-eaten from birth." A mother 
who has been infected by syphilis from her 
husband will transfer the germs from her 
body to the blood of her child. About seventy- 
five per cent of such children die in the first 
year. Some show no sign of the disease until 
five or ten years old, and a few conceal the 
disease until they are twenty-five. Syphilitic 
children have bodies that are crippled and 
deformed by the disease. They are undersized 
and blighted; about five per cent are idiotic, 
others are deaf and dumb, or become blind. 
According to able physicians, if these chil- 
dren of syphilitic parents marry, the blight 
is handed down to the next generation, mani- 
festing itself in marked inferiority or de- 
generacy. Venereal Diseases 
1013 
Can 
Syphilis 
be Cured? 
The answer rests largely with the 
individual victim, for the cure de- 
pends upon receiving intelligent treatment 
soon enough and long enough. While cure 
is possible after the first stage, it is increas- 
ingly more uncertain in the secondary stage, 
as it requires so much more of absolute faith- 
fulness on the part of the patient to keep up 
persistent and systematic treatment of from 
two to three years, to be followed by two 
more years of repeated Wassermann tests and 
other essential microscopical examinations 
that include the testing of the spinal fluid by 
an expert. In the third stage the physical 
and mental wreck and disaster are much 
greater, and the chance for cure proportion- 
ately more grave. When late syphilis attacks 
the nervous system and vital organs, medical 
men do not speak of cure, but of arrestive and 
reinforcement treatments that tend to patch 
up the ravages of the disease. If early, proper 
and thorough treatment is taken in the first 
state, or even if in the second stage adequate 
treatment is continued long enough, one can 
be cured, and destroy all possibility of the 
third stage ever appearing. It is nothing 
short of criminal for one who has ever had 1014 
Personal Help for Men 
syphilis to marry until he has made absolutely 
sure of a permanent cure.* 
That any reader, who may need 
the attention of a physician, may 
be safe-guarded from superficial, hurried, or 
careless treatment at the hands of an incompe- 
tent practitioner, I am summing up what I 
have already said, with a few statements 
quoted from a pamphlet on syphilis, which 
was issued by the Bureau of Venereal Diseases, 
California State Board of Health, in response 
to a demand from the medical profession as 
to what is accepted by the recognized author- 
ities throughout the United States as adequate 
treatment for syphilis. For adequate treat- 
ment, in all cases, the following injunctions, 
quoted from this pamphlet, must be strictly 
observed: "Negative Wassermann tests se- 
cured during the period of treatment are not 
sufficient evidence upon which to pronounce 
a cure. Thev indicate only that satisfactory 
progress is being made. Tt is extremely im- 
portant that all patients who have concluded 
the necessary treatment be kent under obser- 
vation and that the question of cure be not 
Evidences 
of a Cure 
* For fuller consideration of syphilis and gonorrhea in 
relation to marriage and parentage, see "Personal Help for 
the Married," by the publishers of this volume. Venereal Diseases 
1015 
settled until the end of this period. It is con- 
sidered necessary that a period of at least two 
years be devoted to observation, during which 
rime tests be made ol the blood, and in many 
cases of the spinal fluid. Examinations should 
be made at least every three to six months, 
including a blood Wassermann, and most 
syphilologists agree that a final spinal fluid 
test should also be made in all cases. As to 
what should be done with a patient showing 
some positive test or symptoms, during the 
observation period, consultation is suggested." 
May I again emphasize, in any 
trouble connected with the sex 
organs, that the afflicted person 
take treatment such as has been urged in this 
chapter. Furthermore, never accept a deci- 
sion as to what the disease is, except from a 
careful and skilled physician, a qualified 
social hygiene association, or a good hospital 
clinic. There are in all moderate-sized towns 
venereal clinics that are free and that give 
free treatment. If unable to secure proper 
treatment, write your State Board of Health, 
and help will be given. One may never de- 
pend on unknown agencies nor may one ever 
rely on any advertised cure, even though the 
Where to 
Look for 
Expert 
Treatment 1016 
Personal Help for Men 
advertisement should appear in a medical 
journal. There are unscrupulous drug manu- 
facturers who make dupes of gullible doctors 
as well as of the public. Venereal diseases 
are too serious for any trifling. They are so 
grave that they require the best expert treat- 
ment obtainable. CHAPTER LXVII 
PERSONAL HYGIENE OF VENEREAL DISEASES 
All venereal diseases are highly 
infectious. Care must be taken 
not to transmit them to others. 
Some general rules of personal hygiene must 
be observed. All dressings contaminated with 
discharges or with secretions from sores must 
be promptly burned and never for a moment 
left where flies can get on them. All toilet 
articles and clothing should be kept from 
others' use, nor should the patient ever use 
any personal belongings of another. All 
soiled underwear should be washed in boiling 
water. The patient should sleep alone and 
live a continent life. Sexual intercourse, 
when one has gonorrhea or syphilis, is a crim- 
inal act. Anyone with a venereal disease 
should never marry until a competent and 
thoroughly trustworthy physician has pro- 
nounced him cured and given the positive 
assurance that there is no possible danger of 
infecting another. By living up to these gen- 
General 
Rules on 
Personal 
Hygiene 
1017 1018 
Personal Help for Men 
eral rules, and the specific instructions re- 
quired in the different diseases, the afflicted 
one will be careful and thoughtful of others, 
will promote his own recovery, and have the 
lasting satisfaction of knowing that, in his 
misfortune, he has done the right and decent 
thing. 
Chancroid is extremely infectious, 
and a patient who is not constantly careful 
can infect others with the disease. Personal 
cleanliness is of utmost importance. The af- 
fected parts must be kept clean and dry, re- 
gardless of how many times a day fresh 
absorbent dressings are required. The patient 
should strictly follow all of the general rules 
of venereal hygiene. He must not neglect to 
secure proof that the chancroid is not con- 
cealing a syphilitic sore, as directed in the 
preceding chapter. 
The gonorrheal patient needs 
treatment from a reliable doctor. 
There are no few-day-cures. No single treat- 
ment, no matter how magical and marvelous 
in its outward results, can ever produce a cure. 
This applies with equal force to any other 
venereal disease. The one visit, which is all 
that seventy per cent of the gonorrheal cases 
Chancroid 
Treatment 
of 
Gonorrhea Personal Hygiene or Venereal Diseases 
1019 
ever pay to the efficient free clinics in New 
York City, leaves the patient unbenefitted, 
and with the liability of the disease becom- 
ing chronic and unmanageable. Efficient 
treatment is essential for at least the first three 
months, and must not stop until every labora- 
tory means has been employed to prove the 
germs are destroyed. To have sexual relations 
before knowing absolutely that the disease is 
completely eradicated, instead of merely 
checked, as too frequently happens in place 
of an actual cure, is to almost surely give 
the disease to another. This is because sex- 
ual excitement often causes a new outbreak 
of the smouldering disease. When this new 
outbreak occurs, it is generally followed by 
serious complications that greatly delay a cure, 
and sometimes make complete recovery for- 
ever impossible. In every stage of the disease, 
all forms of sexual excitement retard recovery. 
The patient should abstain from 
all highly seasoned food and salt 
meats, use sparingly of all meat, and abstain 
from cofifee. If there is sensitiveness in the 
testes, a suspensory should be worn, and much 
walking avoided. The patient should guard 
agaihst over-fatigue and all violent exercise. 
Hygiene of 
Gonorrhea 1020 
Personal Help for Men 
If there rs much scalding in urinating, it is 
well to drink freely of flaxseed or camomile 
tea, or any other mild tea to flush the kid- 
neys. Spicy drinks are not to be used, nor 
any liquor, beer, or other alcoholic beverages. 
The general rules of venereal hygiene are to 
be observed with additional care, for gonor- 
rhea is transmitted by other means than sex- 
ual intercourse. Others may become infected 
if they come in contact with the discharge 
from the urinary canal on toilet seats, bath- 
tubs, wash basins, clothing, or anything that 
has any of the discharge on it. Strictest care 
should be taken to wash the hands thoroughly 
with hot water and soap after urinating and 
whenever the diseased parts are handled. To 
be careless in this is to run the risk of blind- 
ness from carrying the infection on the fingers 
to the eyes. To use a common towel is to 
expose another to the dangers of blindness. 
After using a wash basin or bathtub it should 
be washed out thoroughly with hot water and 
soap, not merely rinsed, and if this washing is 
followed by an antiseptic solution it will be 
still better. 
Gonorrhea may, but syphilis al- 
ways does, enter the blood; thus 
it is more generally transmitted by contact. 
Hygiene of 
Syphilis Personal Hygiene or Venereal Diseases 
1021 
Not to infect those with whom the patient 
associates requires the utmost care to keep all 
personal articles individual - individual 
drinking cups, eating utensils, toilet articles, 
shaving materials, etc.; also to sterilize these 
by boiling after each use, and to keep all tooth 
brushes and pastes or mouth washes where 
there is no possibility of them coming in con- 
tact with those belonging to others. Anything 
that tends to increase the moisture about the 
mouth increases the possibility of infection, 
therefore the patient should never chew gum 
or tobacco, nor should he smoke. Special 
care should be taken to keep the teeth in good 
condition. If they require attention, the pa- 
tient should tell the dentist that he has 
syphilis. The need of care to avoid spread- 
ing the disease germs from the mucous patches 
of the mouth, nose, and throat, and from other 
sores, has been fully considered in the previous 
chapter. One must not marry without the 
consent of a skilled and conscientious physi- 
cian, which can not be positively given until 
at least two years after the cure seems com- 
plete. After recovery, if one is taken sick he 
must let the doctor know how he has had 
syphilis, since this may be a valuable aid in 1022 
Personal Help for Men 
determining the ailment, and the treatment 
that will effect his cure. 
The remarks as to diet and habits 
of life in other venereal diseases 
apply equally to syphilis. Excesses of all 
kinds are to be avoided. Those who acquire 
the disease and who have previously led dis- 
sipated lives must give up all bad habits, and 
in fact, as William Lee Howard, M. D., puts 
it, "return to the simple life of a ten-year old 
boy." No treatment will result in an effective 
cure if the patient neglects the advice in re- 
gard to right living. 
There are no "light cases" or 
"slight touches" of syphilis. It 
always endangers the health, happiness and 
life of its victim. All self-cures and drug 
clerk treatments are dangerous, even such 
preparations as have a long established repu- 
tation for local use. Treatment in venereal 
diseases is too individualized to be covered 
by any general rules. The judgment and the 
personal attention of a skillful physician is 
absolutely necessary in every case. This ap- 
plies equally to gonorrhea. There is no 
printed formula, or specific with alluring 
promises of cure, but what the individual who 
Treatment 
of 
Syphilis 
Danger 
in Self 
Treatments Personal Hygiene or Venereal Diseases 
1023 
"falls for it" invites for himself a future of 
misery and despair. The medical profession 
has powerful weapons for the treatment of 
syphilis, like mercury, "606," and "914," but 
they must be given under the supervision of 
a trustworthy physician. How a private indi- 
vidual invites disaster in any self-treatment 
with any remedy, and the need of professional 
skill and judgment in administering every 
remedy, is best shown by quoting a few state- 
ments that represent the consensus of opinion 
of physicians of high authority, as published 
by the Government for those interested in 
Venereal Disease Control and in response to 
a demand from the medical profession as to 
what is accepted by authorities as adequate 
treatment for syphilis: 
"Self-treatments or 'quick cures' do not 
destroy the germs of venereal disease. In- 
stead of curing they make him liable to a very 
serious return of the disease later. Quacks, 
and men who are their own doctors, have fools 
for their patients." 
"Mercury is a poison, and gives rise to 
symptoms at times only less serious than the 
disease itself. Its administration requires a 
refined therapeutic judgment. * * * Many 
a man who develops serious signs of late 1024 
Personal Help for Men 
syphilis in later life owes his plight to a pre- 
scription of mercurial pills in the days of his 
chancre." 
"While iodide of potassium frequently has 
a marked influence on certain lesions of syphi- 
lis, it does nothing toward eradicating the 
germs from the system." 
"The administration of '606' at competent 
hands is not dangerous, but must be sur- 
rounded by precautions established by experi- 
ence. * * * Too much or too little may 
lead to unforeseen consequences." 
Here is a "Don't" in caps: "DON'T allow 
yourself to be treated by pills or internal medi- 
cine. Most of the cases in the insane asylum 
were treated in that way. Your physician 
has information or can obtain information as 
to what is correct treatment. Insist on his 
giving it to you, or sending you to someone 
who can." 
For generations man has enacted 
and enforced laws for the preven- 
tion of crime. The time is approaching when 
the public will demand that every person who 
has a venereal disease will be compelled by 
law to exercise proper hygienic care to pre- 
vent its spreading. To infect another, or to 
Compulsory 
Prevention Personal Hygiene or Venereal Diseases 
1025 
transmit the curse of syphilis to generations- 
yet-to-be, will be a recognized crime with an 
adequate punishment. Lovers of the race and 
its future destiny will insist that, regardless 
of personal desires, the careless, the wilfully 
indifferent, the irresponsible, together with 
the ignorant, who are carriers of these diseases, 
shall be made to consider the welfare of others 
and submit to sufficient treatment to destroy 
their capacity for infecting those with whom 
they come in contact. The public health pro- 
gram now enforced in many of our states is 
rapidly working towards this desired goal in 
the present-day world problem in disease 
prevention. CHAPTER LXVIII 
MANHOOD RESTORED 
The Whole 
Man 
Involved 
When manhood is impaired 
through the abuse of the sexual 
organs and their functions, the entire man has 
been injured. Can a man with a soiled char- 
acter become pure again? Can physical and 
mental manhood, when once impaired, be re- 
stored? To the first question we answer unre- 
servedly, yes. To the second, yes, with reser- 
vations. The first question is a moral one and 
calls for a moral remedy. No man ever made 
himself pure without Divine aid. Christ is 
the only antidote for a moral disease. The 
man who wills to be a Christian and con- 
forms to the principles of the Christian life 
will find himself morally convalescent. 
The second question embraces mental and 
physical conditions. Impaired mental and 
physical manhood may be due to any one of 
many causes of which sexual abuse is by far 
the most common. This chapter deals with 
the remedies for impaired manhood due to 
1026 Manhood Restored 
1027 
all forms of sexual abuse, marital excess, and 
prostitution. One of the effects of prostitu- 
tion is venereal disease. For treatment con- 
sult a capable, reliable physician. Should 
he be able to eradicate disease from the body, 
the patient still will need to follow closely 
the advice of this chapter. A successful treat- 
ment of venereal disease does not restore man- 
hood. 
What required years to do can not 
be undone in a day, week or month. 
Impaired manhood is the accumu- 
lated effect of many years of lascivious think- 
ing and sexual abuse. Restoring physical and 
mental soundness is the work of Nature and 
will require years. When man begins to vio- 
late the laws of Nature, Nature does her best 
to counteract the evil effects. This explains 
why many boys and young men experience 
no immediate bad effects from abuse. Were 
this not true, the use of tobacco, alcohol, 
morphine, opium and indulgence in sexual 
abuse would immediately wreck their victims. 
Nature is kind and patient, but there is a 
limit to her endurance. When man ceases to 
violate her laws, Nature begins the work of 
restoration. The time required and the thor- 
Gradually 
Injured, 
Gradually 
Restored 1028 
Personal Help for Men 
oughness of Nature's cure will depend upon 
the degree to which one has gone in violating 
her laws, the injuries sustained, and the un- 
hampered opportunity given Nature to accom- 
plish her work. The effects of a limited 
course of violation in boyhood may be largely 
overcome. Nature can never fully eradicate 
the effects of a long and excessive course of 
sexual abuse upon the body and mind. If 
given a fair chance, however, Nature will 
check the progress of debility, help one to 
husband his remaining vitality and aid in add- 
ing much to his present stock of manhood. 
Impaired manhood is due to the 
exhaustion of vitality and to nerv- 
ous debility, resulting almost entirely from 
sexual abuse. The entire nervous system is 
in a severe strain during sexual excitement, 
however aroused, and meets with a severe 
shock at the moment of an orgasm. However, 
prolonged, intense or frequent sexual excite- 
ment is more injurious than the mere discharge 
of semen. This is mental self-abuse. Such 
is followed by more or less of exhaustion, las- 
situde and depression. When these symptoms 
become common or continuous, the entire 
nervous system, the genital system, and pos- 
Cause and 
Effect Manhood Restored 
1029 
sibly many other organs of the body, are 
involved. 
In the natural and legitimate exercise of 
any organ there is a sacrifice, a waste. The 
recuperative agencies of the body restore the 
waste thus caused, and in this way the organ 
is kept in a normal condition. When the exer- 
cise of any function of an organ is carried 
beyond normal limits, the function is im- 
paired and the organ wears out faster than 
Nature can restore. The sexual organs and 
their reproductive functions are dormant until 
puberty. Sexual excitement during these 
years is unnatural. When it occurs, Nature 
is being seriously interfered with. 
During adolescence, the undeveloped con- 
dition of body and mind, and the relation of 
the sex life to the development of every organ 
of the body, every faculty of the mind, and 
every power of the social and moral natures, 
are the most convincing evidences that semen 
should never voluntarily escape from the body 
before maturity. 
Very few men have had the early 
instruction needed by every boy, 
or the wholesome environment essential to 
chastity of thought, act and habit during ado- 
A Perfectly 
Natural 
Cure 1030 
Personal Help for Men 
lescence. Consequently, few men are normal. 
We are not dealing with men now as they 
ought to be, but as they are. 
In a previous chapter it was made clear to 
the reader that any sexual excitement that 
leads to lascivious thoughts and mental sexual 
longings will result in an unusual quantity 
of blood being sent to the sex organs. The 
presence of this blood excites these glands to 
more than usual activity, and a surplus of 
secretions is formed. The vesicles and ducts 
become filled, increasing sexual desire. The 
surplus is finally expelled in self-abuse, forni- 
cation, marital excess, or by an involuntary 
emission. When this goes on for several 
years, Nature yields her power of resistance 
and the flow of blood to the genital organs 
and the quantity of semen formed becomes 
habitually abnormal. In this way man's 
vitality is exhausted and his nervous symtem 
debilitated. 
Restored manhood is possible just to the 
extent that the reproductive system can be re- 
stored to a normal condition. This is accom- 
plished when the testes are secreting no more 
than can be used by the body. In that condi- 
tion the other glands may secrete a limited 
surplus, but if so, it will be thrown off by an Manhood Restored 
1031 
occasional involuntary emission with very lit- 
tle, if any, vitality wasted. It must now be 
clear that the restoration of manhood can be 
accomplished only by natural processes. No 
pills, powders, drinks, tonics or electric ap- 
pliances are necessary to a cure. No doctor 
is needed. Simply remove the causes and 
Nature will do all that can be done. Doctors, 
friends and experts may cheer, comfort, en- 
courage and inspire the patient, but Nature 
must be given a fair deal, if a real, permanent 
cure is effected. 
Man's supremacy over all bad hab- 
its lies in his ability to control his 
voluntary thoughts and acts. Nature is help- 
less so long as the violator of her laws fails to 
assert his will. He must rise to the dignity of 
his manhood and resolve to cease all forms of 
sexual violations and to avoid all sexual ex- 
citants. If he breaks this resolution a num- 
ber of times, he still must hold on to the pur- 
pose to become a master of himself. Victory 
will crown a persistent effort to be a man. 
Getting control of the mind in re- 
gard to sexual matters will be de- 
termined by the persistent determination that 
is made to keep the mind on other things. 
Recovery 
Begun 
Getting 
Control of 
the Mind 1032 
Personal Help for Men 
While evil thoughts may come, it should be 
understood that every mental longing is an 
effect for which there is a cause. If one would 
avoid their effects, he must learn to avoid their 
causes. One can not read emotional sex novels, 
attend immoral shows or movies that encour- 
age sexual wrongdoing, admire obscene pic- 
tures, associate with improperly dressed 
women, and engage in indiscreet social rela- 
tions, and keep the mind filled with pure 
thoughts. 
Remember the mind can not be idle with- 
out danger of being filled with thoughts of 
evil. If one has not decided upon his pro- 
fession or life work he should do so, and culti- 
vate an interest, even a delight, in it, resolving 
to be a leader in what is undertaken. He 
should provide himself with good books and 
magazines along the line of his chosen occu- 
pation. The mind may be sluggish and dull, 
but it will finally respond to persistent mental 
application. Victims of sexual weakness are 
inclined to gloomy, despondent spells. This 
condition can be remedied by assiduously cul- 
tivating a spirit of cheerfulness, hopefulness, 
and determination, by taking an interest in 
building character; seeking health, success 
and knowledge; reading good books, includ- Manhood Restored 
1033 
ing the Bible; and cultivating the conscious- 
ness that "Thou, God, seest me in all things." 
By a persistent effort to keep the mind pure, 
less and less blood will be daily sent to the 
genital organs, less and less secretions formed, 
and in this way Nature gradually will restore 
normal conditions in the sex organs, and with 
this will come a gradual restoration of man- 
hood. In addition to getting control of the 
mind in matters of sex, there are a number of 
other things to be considered which also are 
important. 
Keeping a mistress, visiting a pros- 
titute, getting married-none of 
these will restore manhood. The doctor who ad- 
vises any of these as a remedy for sexual weak- 
ness is an ignoramus or a fraud. Substituting 
one form of sexual waste for another will not 
effect a cure. Reasonable restoration should 
be realized before marriage. The right of a 
wife and her offspring should not be sacri- 
ficed as a remedy for a man's follies. 
The use of dope, alcoholic bever- 
ages, and tobacco tend to awaken 
the sex impulse. They are otherwise injuri- 
ous. Impaired manhood can not be corrected 
so long as one indulges in these vices. 
The 
Relation 
of Marriage 
Stimulants 
and 
Narcotics 1034 
Personal Help for Men 
Cleanliness of the body, and espe- 
cially the sexual organs, is essen- 
tial as an aid in overcoming sexual weakness. 
Cold water is to be preferred to warm water, 
especially in bathing the sexual organs. If 
one can stand a quick, all-over, cold-water 
bath, followed by a brisk rubbing with a 
coarse towel until there is a warm glow.felt 
all over the body, this is the best bath of all. 
Where there is repeated passion, the sex 
organs may be freely bathed several times a 
day with cold water to noticeable advantage. 
Retire early and sleep all you can. 
One should not stay in bed after 
he awakes in the morning, but get up and begin 
the day's activities. Sleep on a hard bed, never 
on a soft one, and use as little covering as 
comfort will permit. 
Stop the functions of the skin and 
death follows. The skin has two 
functions. One is to eliminate poisons from 
the body and the other is to conserve and regu- 
late the heat of the body. When the skin is 
not kept clean, it loses to some extent the 
power to eliminate poisons. This forces the 
kidneys to overwork, resulting in kidney 
disease. 
The Cold 
Bath 
Plenty of 
Sleep 
Functions 
of the 
Skin Manhood Restored 
1035 
The Air 
Bath 
On arising each morning, twenty 
minutes should be devoted to re- 
storing and maintaining the natural functions 
of the skin. At the same time one may take his 
physical exercise, shave and dress himself. 
This can be done by throwing off the night 
clothing in a fairly cool room, and exposing 
the skin to the air. The skin should be rubbed 
with the hands or with a fairly rough towel 
until a warm glow is felt all over the body. 
It is well to vary, using the hands part of the 
time and the towel part of the time. After a 
few weeks it will be noticed that this warm 
glow tends to remain with the body long after 
the rubbing has ceased. This rubbing can be 
done in five minutes. Now take five minutes 
of physical exercise. Shave during the third 
five minutes and dress during the fourth five 
minutes. This air bath should take the place 
of the water bath every other day. If one 
desires to take a cold or warm bath, he should 
take the air bath first. Following the water 
bath he should rub his entire body as before 
described, until his skin is perfectly dry and 
warm. Then should follow his physical exer- 
cises. 1036 
Personal Help for Men 
Preventing 
Colds 
A person able to warm himself by 
rubbing while taking an air bath 
in a fairly cool room, renders himself prac- 
tically immune to colds, which cause catarrh, 
tonsilitis, pleurisy, bronchitis, flu, pneumonia, 
and consumption. If one can prevent colds, 
he will escape many of the ills of life. In 
addition to this, when the skin performs its 
natural functions properly, the internal organs 
do also; the sex life is conserved and the indi- 
vidual is very nearly immune to non-venereal 
contagious diseases. The air bath should be 
taken in a room that is properly ventilated. 
If the rubbing is performed vigorously, with 
the mouth closed, this will enforce deep nasal 
breathing, which tends to prevent or remedy 
catarrh, enlarged tonsils and adenoids. 
Equal in importance to the air 
bath is the practice of deep breath- 
ing. When indulged in freely at the initial 
stage of taking cold, the cold usually can be 
thrown off. Nearly all the nasal, throat and 
lung troubles growing out of colds may be 
avoided by deep breathing. 
One should take his bath with phy- 
sical exercises. The lightest clothes 
compatible with comfort should be worn dur- 
Deep 
Breathing 
Physical 
Exercises Manhood Restored 
1037 
ing the exercises described in a subsequent 
paragraph. Do not continue any exercise to 
the point of excessive fatigue. Breathing 
pauses frequently will be required at first, but 
these intervals will be less frequent as the lungs 
develop. Physical exercises should not be 
taken within one hour after a hearty meal. 
The best time for exercising is immediately 
after arising each morning. 
The beneficial effects of physical 
culture can not be overestimated. 
It strengthens and develops the muscles, re- 
stores the natural functions of the skin, takes 
the mind from sexual matters and uses up the 
surplus secretions. By exercising the muscles 
of the external members of the body, exercise 
is given to the muscles of the internal organs. 
By restoring the natural functions of the skin 
and giving normal exercise to the internal 
organs, we also correct the functional disor- 
ders of the digestive system, the heart and the 
lungs. In athletic exercises the skin is inci- 
dentally exposed to air and sunshine. This 
largely accounts for the benefits derived. 
If the following exercises are fol- 
lowed daily, they will be found 
very beneficial. They are taken from "The 
Physical 
Culture 
General 
Exercises 1038 
Personal Help for Men 
Psychology of Success," by permission of the 
author, Prof. Newton N. Riddell. 
"No apparatus is needed. Time required, 
ten to twenty minutes. Repeat each exercise 
five to ten times before proceeding with the 
next. Throw all of your mind and strength 
into the muscles in action, keeping them taut 
and rigid; make them vibrate. Do not strain. 
Finish by relaxing all parts. 
"1. (a) Stand erect, heels together, toes at 
right angles, knees apart, thighs rigid, arms 
extended (fingers and arms rigid) ; bring 
hands around front to point of meeting, throw 
back as far as possible, repeat rapidly, (b) 
Flex arms up to shoulders, (c) Raise arms 
above head as far as possible. 
"2. Stand as in No. 1. Bring shoulders for- 
ward, empty lungs, lift shoulders and roll them 
up and back as far as possible, at the same 
time filling the lungs to greatest capacity, in- 
haling through the nose. Repeat slowly. 
"3. Kneel five to ten times on each knee, 
raising weight of body on opposite leg. 
"4. (a) Lie on back, arms folded, keeping 
legs straight; raise them up slowly to right 
angles with body, (b) Rest heels on floor, 
raise body to sitting position. Manhood Restored 
1039 
"5. Lie face down, resting weight on hands 
and toes; raise body by straightening the arms; 
keep the back stiff. 
"6. Sit on floor, legs straight; reach for- 
ward, clasp hands about right foot; pull with 
the arms, resist with the legs, draw foot up 
against the body, straighten leg, resisting with 
the arm; repeat with the left leg. 
"7. Place ends of thumbs and fingers to- 
gether back of head; push hard so as to make 
fingers and arms rigid; bend forward, keeping 
legs straight; bring hands over and touch the 
floor with fingers; exhale in going down, in- 
hale to the fullest capacity in rising. 
"8. (a) Stand erect; contract and expand 
diaphragm and abdomen so as to churn stom- 
ach. (b) Swing body over and around, 
reaching down so as to strike each heel with 
the opposite hand. 
"9. Stand on toes, crouch down so as to sit 
on heels; place hands on hips; push down 
hard, at the same time raise body slowly to 
standing position, then reach up as high as 
possible on tiptoe. 
"10. With hands push, pull and twist the 
head in all directions several times, resisting 
with the muscles of the neck." CHAPTER LXIX 
PRACTICAL QUESTIONS ANSWERED 
(Note.-The majority of the most frequent and important 
questions asked by young men have been answered in the text 
of the book, because the context, fuller descriptions, and as- 
sociated subjects make the answers easier to understand, and 
therefore more valuable than is possible when disconnected.) 
1. Can a Reduced or Small Testicle Be Enlarged? 
The testes vary in size in different men. 
Firmness and solidity are much more impor- 
tant than size. Where they are naturally 
small, there is no way of normally making 
them larger. When reduction in size is due to 
mumps, masturbation or other forms of sexual 
excitement, a very slow improvement will be 
observed if the individual avoids all unneces- 
sary sexual excitement. 
2. Are Occasional Emissions Natural? 
All that any man wants to know about emis- 
sions, their cause, frequency, when harmful, 
etc., is fully discussed in the chapter, "Special 
Sexual Ailments." 
3. How Does Food Affect the Secretion of Semen? 
Eating large quantities of food or very rich 
foods increases the secretion of the seminal 
1040 Practical Questions Answered 
1041 
vesicles, but has little influence upon the secre- 
tions of the testes. Eating much and rich food 
increases the number of involuntary emissions. 
The secretions of the testicles are influenced 
almost entirely by sexual excitement. 
4. What Is the Effect of a Period of Self=Abuse on 
One's Offspring? 
Strong children are born of parents having 
a strong vitality. Masturbation weakens the 
vitality. Read over carefully the chapter on 
"Masturbation" for detailed information re- 
garding self-abuse. 
5. When Is Circumcision Necessary? 
See advice in the chapter, "The Reproduc- 
tive Organs." 
6. Are Men Naturally More Passionate than Women? 
The accumulated hereditary effects of the 
double standard of morals for centuries and 
man's unfortunate training in childhood and 
youth have made men more passionate than 
women. If the double standard had never 
existed and both men and women had been 
controlled by a consistent single standard, both 
men and women would be better sexed and 
far less sensual. 
7. What Causes Acquired Sensuality in Men? 
Acquired sensuality starts quite early in 
childhood. Half truths given by ignorant and 1042 
Personal Help for Men 
vicious playmates and servants concerning the 
origin of life, the sexual organs and their 
functions, and uncleanly and unnatural con- 
ditions of the sexual organs, are responsible 
for the early awakening of passion in child- 
hood. Lascivious thinking, obscene books, 
pictures, shows, spooning and exciting dances, 
the use of tobacco and alcohol are the chief 
causes of passion after the dawning of puberty. 
8. Should a Young Man Sexually Weak Keep Company 
with Girls? 
That is determined by the kind. Associa- 
tion with a pure girl, one who dresses modestly 
and deports herself well, will be very helpful 
to either a strong or a weak man. The sug- 
gestive dressed, the spooning, and the fast girl 
will do him great injury. 
9. Is Early Marriage Advisable? 
The marriage of girls of sixteen or eighteen 
to boys of eighteen or twenty often results in 
injuries to both parents and offspring. Where 
only one of the parents is immature and the 
other is past maturity, the results will not be 
as harmful. If both are immature, injury to 
the child will be inevitable. Tn either event 
the effects upon the immature parent can be 
only harmful. Stock breeders, after many 
years of breeding, have learned that the off- Practical Questions Answered 
1043 
spring from both immature and old parents 
are nearly always defective. 
10. Do You Advise Marriage to Remedy Weak Man= 
hood? 
We do not. One's wife and children have 
rights. Marriage would likely mean excess 
and greater weakness. 
11. Should the Scrotum Swing Low or Be Close to the 
Body? 
A long, pendulous scrotum is unnatural, 
inconvenient and largely due to some form of 
sexual abuse. Control of the mind and free- 
dom from all violations of sex are the best 
remedies. Sometimes doctors advise that part 
of the scrotum be removed at the bottom and 
sewed up. This tends to relieve the condition. 
Personally, we would advise that the indi- 
vidual give Nature a chance to correct the 
trouble. 
12. Should the Testes Swing Low or Be Close to the 
Body? 
The preceding answer and advice may also 
be given to this question. 
13. What Should Be Done for "Crabs"? 
Secure a small quantity of mercurial oint- 
ment from your druggist and apply it thor- 
oughly once. Rub it on the affected parts 
well. Wash it off thoroughly with soap and 
warm water after relief. 1044 
Personal Help for Men 
14- What Can One Do to Relieve Chordee? 
The patient should sleep on a hard mattress, 
on his side as much as possible, and cover him- 
self very lightly with bed-clothing. Eat plain, 
nourishing, unstimulating food. Eat very 
lightly at supper. Keep the mind pure. An 
effective way of relieving chordee when a pa- 
tient awakes with it during the night, is imme- 
diately to arise from the bed and place his 
posterior against a cold wall. The patient 
will derive much benefit from immersing his 
penis for a considerable time in quite hot 
water before retiring. 
15. What Is the Best Treatment for Enlarged Prostate? 
Read the extended discussion of this trou- 
ble in the chapter, "Special Sexual Ailments." 
There is nothing better for prostatic irritation, 
or an enlarged prostate than the slow injec- 
tion of hot water into the rectum by means of 
a two-quart syringe with a short nozzle. The 
hot water has a very salutary effect upon the 
prostate, which lies near the rectum. The 
purpose of this treatment is not to cause a 
movement of the bowels. The treatment 
should be taken in the morning after a natural 
passage of the bowels. Tn most all cases this 
treatment will effect a cure if all causes of 
passion are avoided. Practical Questions Answered 
1045 
16. What Is an Hermaphrodite? 
This name applies to individuals who are 
supposed to be half man and half woman. 
The facts are nine out of ten of the supposed 
hermaphrodites are either one sex or the 
other-usually male. In extremely rare cases 
these unfortunates have both a rudimentary 
testicle and ovary. Fortunately, they are in- 
capable of reproduction. The imperfect 
development and functioning of their sexual 
natures account for their feminine features 
and tone of voice. 
17. Can a Small, Atrophied Penis Be Enlarged or 
Restored? 
The size is not an indication of virility or 
sexual power. As a rule it is always best to 
let this apparent trouble alone. For fuller 
discussion, see the chapter, "The Reproduc- 
tive Organs." 
18. How Is Sterilization Performed, and What Are Its 
Effects and Advantages? 
Sterilization consists of two very simple 
operations. A small incision is made on each 
side of the scrotum. Through these openings 
the spermatic cords are drawn. The two 
ducts, the vasa deferentia, are separated from 
the arteries and veins and are severed or 
clipped in such a manner that, when the sper- 1046 
Personal Help for Men 
matic cords arc replaced in the scrotum, the 
ends of the severed ducts can not reunite. It 
will be observed that none of the sexual glands 
have been mutilated. They continue their 
functions as before. None of the secretions 
and sperm cells formed by the testes can leave 
the scrotum. All of the secretions of the testes 
are retained in the body. 
This operation is performed in a few states 
upon degenerate criminals, confirmed drunk- 
ards, incurable syphilitics, feeble-minded, the 
insane and the epileptics. The purpose of this 
operation is to prevent the unfit classes from 
reproducing their kind. 
It is claimed by the advocates of this oper- 
ation that the enforced retention of the sex 
life in the body leads to very noticeable and 
substantial improvements in the subjects. 
Should the state deem it advisable, the possi- 
bilities of fatherhood can be restored by a 
second operation reuniting the severed ends. 
This appears to be the most effective, the 
cheapest and the most merciful method of pre- 
venting the degenerate classes from reproduc- 
ing their kind. 
19. Are Married Men Heathier than the Single? 
Not necessarily. Where a single man 
indulges in no mental, mechanical or social Practical Questions Answered 
1047 
abuse, in relation to sex, he will be as healthy 
and live as long as will the married man, who 
is ideal in his sex relations. The sexual abuse 
of the average married man is less than the 
average single man. This explains why single 
life appears to be less healthy than married 
life. 
20. Are Married Women Less Healthy than Single? 
Sexual abuse among married women is 
greater than among single women. Sensual 
husbands are responsible for this. Again, 
when a man has had some form of venereal 
disease, there is always danger of it breaking 
out unexpectedly and infecting his wife. This 
accounts for the great majority of serious oper- 
ations on women for womb and ovarian 
troubles. 
M. Would Continence, While the Wife Is Pregnant, 
Be Good for the Husband? 
Continence probably would be good for the 
wife and the unborn child, and, if of the hus- 
band's own free choice, good for him as well. 
The males among all the mammals observe it 
during the pregnancy of the female. Among 
our domestic fowl, the males are often separated 
from the females for many months, and both 
sexes thrive better because of continence. If 
men and women lived naturally, they would 1048 
Personal Help for Men 
spontaneously observe this law. The more 
artificial and unnatural life is in general, the 
more unnatural it becomes in this particular. 
Some couples choose to live a continent life 
during this period. If husband and wife are 
honest about this, then as long as this is agree- 
able to both sides, they and their children are 
the better for it. It is doubtful if any benefit 
would occur if either husband or wife found 
hardship in an enforced, absolute, and unwill- 
ing continence during the entire term. Fre- 
quent intercourse, and intercourse during the 
latter term of pregnancy, is always injurious 
to the coming child. 
22. Why Is Married Life the Ideal Life? 
Man is a social being. He needs a com- 
panion. He is not complete in himself. He 
represents only one-half of a social unit. He 
is never quite at ease until he finds the other 
half, the complement of himself. The de- 
mand for companionship is inherent in the 
physical, social, mental and spiritual natures 
of men and women. Their constant associa- 
tion, mutual home interests and sacrifices for 
their children are very conducive to health, 
long life, social happiness, mental growth and 
spiritual attainments. CHAPTER LXX 
SEX AND PSYCHO-ANALYSIS 
Revelations 
of Science 
A man's life is the most important 
thing to him in all the world, and 
modern-day science has revealed many truths 
that directly affect his destiny. One of these, 
that every man should consider, is how his 
life's tendencies are influenced by the germ- 
cells from which he was conceived. . A good 
heredity will triumph over a bad environ- 
ment. The blackest ooze has never yet de- 
stroyed or defiled the whiteness of the lily 
that pushed through the muck to smile at the 
sun. 
In a prominent Western City is a 
street that I have heard called 
"The Street of the Living Dead." Many of 
these "living dead" are drug fiends; many are 
citizens of the underworld of crime and sex- 
ual crookedness; almost all of them are down- 
and-outers. Inferior germ-cells from which 
their life began, lack of sympathy and parental 
tenderness, and too many close-ups of vice, 
Street of 
the Living 
Dead 
1049 1050 
Personal Help for Men 
gave a wrong trend to their lives. "As the 
twig is bent, the tree is inclined," and "As 
the seed, so the harvest," are two statements 
eternally true. In every part of the world 
are to be found men who are shuffling and 
stumbling through life as do the unfortunate 
ones on the Street of the Living Dead. 
Space permits but a hint at the 
potential influence of heredity 
over human life and the future welfare of the 
race. The basic facts of heredity are given 
in "Personal Help for the Married," by the 
publishers of this volume. The reader should 
be acquainted with these facts and connect 
them up with the new demands of science as 
presented by Mr. A. E. Wiggam in his able 
article, "The New Decalogue of Science," in 
The Century Magazine, March, 1922. 
In justice to the reader, I may not dismiss 
this subject without a statement, based on my 
own studies of heredity when acting as joint 
author of a work on the subject. The fact 
to which I allude is backed by hundreds of 
cases I have personallv known. A tendency 
towards good or evil is inherited in the germ- 
plasm, but hereditv is never the complete con- 
troller of a man's destiny. Human will. 
Master 
of Any 
Fate Sex and Psycho-Analysis 
1051 
coupled with the divine resources of the 
spiritual universe, can master any fate. An 
inferior heredity requires the putting up of 
a more determined fight. This fight strength- 
ens a man's spirit, and if he manfully accepts 
the challenge of his fate he can gain enough 
through fighting to compensate for what he 
lacked at birth and may even go ahead of the 
man who has had a more fortunate heredity 
and who did not use his talents to the limit 
of his inborn capacity. 
Modern-day science further re- 
veals that the unconscious love- 
life, and the desires connected with it, very 
markedly affect one's destiny. This uncon- 
scious factor is largely responsible for the ele- 
ment of mystery and misunderstanding 
frequently connected with the manifestations 
of the sex instinct. Norah March, B. Sc., 
author of "Sex Knowledge," refers to sex as 
"the mysterious," and "yet a master force in 
life." The writer further states: "We can 
only appreciate and direct aright that which 
we understand; we must, therefore, understand 
sex, and probe into its mvsteries to discover 
the real nature of this master force." 
The 
Mystery 
of Sex 1052 
Personal Help for Men 
Clearing 
Up Baffling 
Mysteries 
Freud and Jung are pioneer dis- 
coverers in the realm of the un- 
conscious love-life. Through psychoanalysis, 
whose base of operation is the unconscious 
mind, they have cleared up many of the 
bafflling mysteries of sex. All advanced 
writers on sex place much stress on the im- 
portance of instruction in this new field, be- 
cause health or disease, success or failure, are 
often directly related to these deeper sexual 
phenomena. A limited outline of the teach- 
ings of the psychoanalysts is given to help the 
reader understand the mysteries of sex, and 
enable him to straighten out the half-truths 
appearing in the psychoanalytical fantasies of 
the modern sex-novels, so that he may arrive 
at a correct concept regarding the "free" ex- 
pression of the sex impulse so avidly cham- 
pioned by many of the younger element of 
today. 
Phychology, psychopathology, and 
psychoanalysis teach that each in- 
dividual has, in reality, two minds, 
the Conscious and the Unconscious. The Con- 
scious is made up of the thoughts and ideas 
of our daily thinking; the Unconscious is 
made up of our forgotten memories and our 
Conscious 
and Un= 
conscious 
Mind Sex and Psycho-Analysis 
1053 
unacknowledged or repressed wishes, desire®, 
and feelings. The importance of the Uncon- 
scious mind in a life is aptly illustrated by 
using the simile of G. Stanley Hall. He com- 
pares the mind to a floating iceberg, one-eighth 
visible above the water and seven-eights below. 
The one-eighth above is the Conscious mind, 
while the seven-eighths below is the Uncon- 
scious. The influence and control of the two 
minds on one's life and conduct are relatively 
in this same proportion. In Personal Help 
for Boys, by publishers of this volume, "The 
Wild Cat Caves," more fully explained 
psychoanalysis. Though written for boys, it 
is scientifically accurate, and a man may read 
it with profit, especially in connection with 
this present chapter. 
The love instinct is the very core 
of the emotional life. It is the 
strongest of all the feelings and is the domi- 
nant influence in the Unconscious mind. In 
the broad Freudian sense, the love-life begins 
its activity as a dynamic sexual instinct at 
birth, and not at the age of puberty, when a 
person's sex life is commonly supposed to 
begin. This instinct is definitely recognized 
as the basis of sexuality, which is not to be 
The Un- 
conscious 
Love Urge 1054 
Personal Help for Men 
confounded with sensuality. The love in- 
stinct, or libido, as it is technically called, 
is first centered on the self. As Freud inter- 
prets the love-live, sexuality first begins to 
express itself in the babe at its mother's 
breast. First this love centers on self, then 
it reaches to the mother and to all the other 
members of the family. Next, it includes 
those beyond the home circle, and, finally, as 
the normal life approaches maturity, the 
libido centers on someone of the opposite sex 
and becomes the basis of love, courtship, and 
marriage. 
Until recently, many parents and 
adults have tabooed all of the in- 
quiries of children relating to sex, 
while others have shown marked embarrass- 
ment when reference has been made to the 
subject. This attitude makes it almost impos- 
sible for a child to develop normal love and 
normal sex desires. A child's early life is an 
endless question, but a very little truth will 
satisfy him. He is no more inquisitive about 
sex than about anything else. However, when 
most of his questions on this subject are an- 
swered in a constrained manner, he becomes 
curious to know about these matters about 
Determining 
the Trend 
of the 
Sex Life Sex and Psycho-Analysis 
1055 
which grown-ups act so secretively. He asks 
his playmates. They, also, have been unable 
to satisfy their curiosity, but they tell what 
they have heard from older children. These 
scraps of truth and guesses are almost certain 
to give perverted views. Thus the child 
gradually comes to regard his own sex feelings 
as something to be ashamed of, and, if he is 
normal, he seeks to dismiss them from his 
consciousness. But repressing these feelings 
and desires does not destroy them. They be- 
come a very real part of the Unconscious mind. 
Here they grow like noxious weeds, and, in 
later years, frequently cause unexpected 
sickness, misery, or distress, and give a per- 
verted trend to the sex impulse. Thus, long 
before puberty, is largely determined the trend 
of the future sex life. 
This early age of tender childhood 
is especially emphasized by Freud 
and Jung as a harmful time to re- 
press the love-life. Here is where the harm 
begins in repression. Here occurs the need 
of encouraging a natural and free expression 
of the sex instinct in various activities suitable 
to the child's age and development that will 
give wise and normal outlets and prevent 
Raw 
Repression 
and Raw 
Expression 1056 
Personal Help for Men 
erotic concentration, or, crudely and less ac- 
curately speaking, an ingrowing love. This 
would do away with all raw repression of the 
sex instinct. However, this does not indicate 
a need of the raw expression of sensuality that 
characterizes the conduct of some of the "ad- 
vanced" ones who blatantly acclaim they are 
merely obeying the up-to-date tenets of Freud. 
"Men are but boys grown tall," 
and some of them still cling to the 
want-appetites of the child, which always cen- 
ter on Self. These have failed to make a 
proper adjustment of the sex desires of adult 
life. But what is to be done? Have not Freud 
and his followers emphatically shown that the 
repression of the sex impulse, as in a life of 
rigid continence, will injure body, mind, and 
character? Yes, unless the physical desire is 
transcended. But, have not the psychoanalysts 
pointed out that a destruction of all sex desire 
through repression and inhibition will make a 
life barren, withered, and dwarfed? De- 
cidedly, yes. Then where is the way out, when 
civilization regards each man as a social unit 
and deliberately places on him fundamental 
inhibitions that prohibit an unqualified ex- 
pression of the sex instinct on the physical 
Way Out 
of the 
Difficulty Sex and Psycho-Analysis 
1057 
plane? There is but one way out of the diffi- 
culty, and that is by what is known as sublima- 
tion. In other words, by indirectly expressing 
the sexual instinct in fascinating and worthy 
interests or activities that take the thoughts 
away from self. This transmutes the sex in- 
stinct by lifting it from the purely physical 
plane and its desires, to the romantic and men- 
tal and spiritual. Charles Bandouin, a leading 
French authority on psychoanalysis, expresses 
it in this way: "When we say that an instinct 
is sublimated, we mean that a new and better 
channel has been opened for the current of 
instinct. * * * It is to substitute a desir- 
able derivative for an undesirable one. Every 
kind of successful derivative of the instinctive 
energy towards such ends possesses spiritual 
or moral value." 
In simplest language, sublimation 
means the sex instinct rightly con- 
trolled and directed. Broadly speaking, it is 
the background of all that has been given in 
previous chapters that relates to the increase 
of man-power and the attainment of true man- 
hood. It explains the reason why, of all the 
instruction given. It elevates the sex energies 
into outlets that make a man useful to his age 
What 
Sublimation 
Means 1058 
Personal Help for Men 
and generation, instead of leaving them to be 
dissipated on the physical plane. It finds 
satisfying expressions for the sex instinct by 
directing it into social uses where men and 
women work together in community better- 
ment, organizing neighborhood activities, 
providing wholesome recreation, forming 
musical societies, dramatic clubs, etc. Sub- 
limation helps a man to find his equilibrium 
as an adult member of society and enables him 
to bring about the dignified and rightful rela- 
tionship of his sexual impulses. It lifts him 
from a blind follower of animal instinct into 
doing his share of reasonable service to make 
this good old world a still better place in 
which to live. Sublimation makes the differ- 
ence between power and weakness, success and 
failure. In the words of Thomas Walton 
Galloway, "It is the finest and most enrich- 
ing thing that we as human beings are cap- 
able of doing." In its broadest sense, sub- 
limation is the finding of happiness in the 
only way that happiness is ever found, through 
getting away from the Self and the Self- 
desires. It is the transcending of selfishness, 
the reef on which happiness is always sooner 
or later wrecked. It marks the highest type 
of manhood-the one who loves his neighbor 
uas himself. Sex and Psycho-Analysis 
1059 
The 
Highway to 
Happiness 
The Highway to Happiness, to 
Health, and to Life's Richest Satis- 
factions, is the way of sublimation. All of 
those who have given intensive study to mind 
and soul processes, like the psychologists, 
psychoanalysts, and psychopathologists, agree 
on this point. The core of all their teaching 
relates to the proper adjustment of the Self to 
life through this process of sublimation which 
is the only way to freedom from many physi- 
cal and mental ills that destroy health and 
happiness and incapacitate a man in his power 
to achieve and enjoy. May I again repeat, 
to emphasize the vital fact, the largest amount 
of happiness that life can give is found in 
getting away from the wants, the desires, and 
the wishes that center on the Self. In the 
degree that a person does this, and forgets the 
Self in service to others, will he inevitably 
succeed in business, maintain physical right- 
ness, win friends, and be happy. This is the 
unvarying verdict of all world authorities. 
Perhaps all this about sublimation 
may seem old-fashioned in these 
days of jazz, joy riding, petting 
parties, and cheek-to-cheek dancing. My 
answer is that big executives who want men 
"Wanted- 
Old- 
Fashioned 
Young 
Men" 1060 
Pbrsonal Help for Men 
who can earn salaries of $20,000 to $50,000 
a year, are eagerly, anxiously, constantly look- 
ing for men who have, through the power of 
their own choice, thus sublimated their sex 
energies. Just recently, Edward S. Jordan, 
President of the Jordan Motor Car Co., Inc., 
delivered an address before the Cleveland 
Advertising Club on "Wanted-Old-Fash- 
ioned Young Men." He was guaranteeing 
salaries of from $10,000 to $20,000 a year to 
young men of the "old-fashioned" kind. 
Franklin Remington, whose name 
for the last twenty years has been 
linked with many great engineering feats, was 
recently asked by Merle Crowell, in an inter- 
view for The American Magazine, "What is 
the biggest problem you have to face?" Rem- 
ington spoke positively: "It isn't money! It 
isn't methods! It isn't markets! It's men! 
The voice of American industry is forever 
crying for capable executives, * * * for 
leaders who can communicate their vision, 
their knowledge, their enthusiasms to the 
forces they lead. The average man fails to 
visualize the demands and qualifications of 
leadership * * * the sweeping vision that 
a leader must have. * * * We associate 
Vision, 
Personality, 
Leadership Sex and Psycho-Analysis 
1061 
personality with leadership * * * but 
more effective than that quality knows as 
'charm,' with which some men are undoubt- 
edly born, is the personality that springs from 
knowledge and poise and understanding." 
These are days of peril and of test- 
ing. The world of tomorrow is 
being shaped by the young men of today. You, 
who read this page, will make the world and 
posterity better or worse by the sort of life 
you choose to lead. Remember the scientific 
fact, affirmed by the eminent neurologist, 
Dr. Casamajor of Columbia University, that 
"probably this is the most important thing 
for a person to know about the brain: this 
fact that he can control its choice of reactions." 
Appropriate the benefits of this fact by con- 
trolling the kind of habits you form. This 
control will determine your conduct and your 
character, for both conduct and character are 
shaped by your habits, and your habits are a 
product of your thinking. Will you be con- 
trolled by the habits of love, or the habits of 
selfishness? Yours is the power of choice. 
The value of this book to even 
reader rests largely on how it 
affects his conduct. Sex is a challenge to 
Life's 
Choices 
Somewhere 
You Are 
Standing 1062 
Personal Help for Men 
every manly male to attain his highest degree 
of physical fitness, mental power, and moral 
fiber. He glories in self-mastery and in re- 
sisting temptation, fully aware that he is shar- 
ing in mans struggle throughout the ages for 
self-direction and self-control. He is deter- 
mined to be triumphant in a grand way, that 
he may be worthy of the woman he hopes to 
marry. His vision goes farther than just 
his own immediate pleasures. He has heard 
the new commandment of democracy, "From 
everyone according to his ability." He thinks 
of his many brothers and sisters in the world 
and of their struggles and temptations. He 
wants to render them a service. He assumes 
a share in solving the living problems of the 
hour, for he feels it as his responsibility, and 
he wants to help make and keep his home town 
a place in which it is easy to live a clean life. 
On the other hand, sex to the self-indulgent 
is used as a pitiable excuse for giving way to 
desire. He feels no interest in helping to ele- 
vate the community in which he lives, but 
yields to impulses that destroy himself and 
others. Somewhere in the scale between the 
strongest and the weakest, you are standing. 
Wherever you are, this book points the way 
to all the essentials needful for the attainment Sex and Psycho-Analysis 
1063 
of the utmost and the highest of which you 
are capable. May you be spared the eventual 
but inevitable disappointment of those whose 
life is dominated by unworthy and selfish 
desires. Rather be it yours to know in the 
fullest measure the zest and the joy that an 
enlightened and self-determined life can give. Mrs. Louise Francis Spaller 
1064 SIXTH DIVISION 
Heart to Heart Talks to Young Women 
BY 
MRS. LOUISE FRANCIS SPALLER 
AND 
MRS. ELIZABETH BOUTWELL 
1065 THE GREAT OUT-OF-DOORS 
Copyright by Underwood & Underwood. 
1066 CHAPTER LXXI 
IDEAL WOMANHOOD 
Quest of 
Happiness 
World-wide 
In one of the art galleries of 
Europe I saw a painting that 
stamped itself with unusual vividness on my 
mind. The painting symbolized the world- 
wide quest for happiness. The artist repre- 
sents this by showing an inside view of a the- 
ater. On the stage are two gaily dressed, elf- 
ish figures. One is piping and dancing, the 
other blowing bubbles and tossing them out to 
the crowd. All are eager to catch the rainbow- 
tinted bubbles-the young and the old, the 
rich and the poor. Their faces reflect many 
emotions. Youth is intense, full of hope, yet 
uncertain; young manhood and young wom- 
anhood reveal pride, ambition and struggle; 
middle life is wrestling with problems, and 
1067 1068 
Personal Help for Young Women 
is full of questions; old age has the hallmark 
indicative of life's battles, some of the counte- 
nances being marked by pain and anguish, 
some soured by disillusionment, others sweet, 
peaceful, masterful. 
Looking backward today my vi- 
sion seems to have changed, and I 
see the European painting as typifying the 
present-day restlessness of woman, and her 
grasping after bubbles of happiness that too 
often break just as they appear the brightest, 
or as they touch her hand. Nature and God 
have ordained a way of ideal womanhood 
which, if followed, means a life of greatness, 
because it is familiar with the big things which 
come only through sacrifice, faithfulness to 
duty, deep sympathies, and an understanding 
heart. Chasing after bubbles, woman has 
often sacrified her ideal, and in conse- 
quence she has had to pay for the triumph 
of her "career" by perverting, distorting, 
or repressing the best powers and qualities 
of her truest womanhood, which are most 
needed in the world. The full expression 
of these powers is most necessary to her, if 
she is to realize the greatest satisfaction and 
happiness possible in her life. Having built 
Bubbles 
Chasing Ideal Womanhood 
1069 
her life of makeshifts, behind her brilliant 
successes lurks an unsatisfied hunger, and for 
what she has gained she has exchanged the 
sweetest and tenderest joys a woman may 
know. 
The mature experience of con- 
tented women in all walks of life 
alone can form a composite pic- 
ture that will correctly represent ideal woman- 
hood. Who are those who have had life the 
fullest and happiest, and have found the true 
ideal? Who have grasped for the prize and 
drawn to their heart empty bubbles? The 
composite picture of earth's happiest women 
shows the face of a woman who has gladly and 
earnestly sought to fulfill "the eternal com- 
mand that she be a woman." 
The natural course of life for every 
healthy, normal woman is mar- 
riage and parentage. Here alone can she 
realize ideal womanhood; yet through a lack 
of the comprehension and appreciation of this 
eternal truth, many a young woman fails to 
see in marriage her highest privilege, the ful- 
filment of her noblest and truest duty, and the 
greatest promise of happiness. There is a 
tendency to look on marriage as a sort of slav- 
A Composite 
Picture 
of Ideal 
Womanhood 
Missing 
the Ideal 1070 
Personal Help for Young Women 
ery that prevents one from sharing in things 
worth while. The college door is open and 
beckons to her, and in it she sees a professional 
career, personal liberty, and the gratification 
of ambition. She wants life, and the domestic 
tie appears too confining, too narrowing. She 
would escape the care, responsibility, and 
anxieties common to family life. Flashier 
joys and pleasures dazzle her eyes, the glitter 
of the tinsel lures, the rainbow hue of the bub- 
ble beguiles, and through a false estimate of 
values she misses the real goal of greatest bless- 
ing, happiness and peace. 
Maturer life brings clearer vision 
and experience. Life has not be- 
stowed the anticipated joy. She realizes she 
has shirked a duty in which she would have 
found her largest opportunity for doing really 
worth while things, and for exercising her 
dominant and strongest powers that eternally 
bind her to the eternal feminine. 
A concrete reality is usually more 
deeply interesting than any fiction 
or an abstract statement. Let me bring my 
message nearer to you by giving you an illus- 
tration of the heart-hunger of one woman fac- 
ing Life's Sunset Road, who has had riches, 
The 
Vision of 
Experience 
A Little 
Story of 
Real Life Ideal Womanhood 
1071 
honor and fame, the.admiration of the power- 
ful and the great, and the applause of the mul- 
titude. I would bring a life picture of 
Madam Emma Calve, the talented, the accom- 
plished, the beautiful. Her early life was 
characterized by two strong ambitions, the de- 
sire for fame and for wealth. Both of these 
she achieved in young womanhood. With her 
earnings as an opera singer when she was only 
twenty-five years of age, she fitted up a country 
place in southern France, which cost over 
$500,000. Yet elegance, luxury and all that 
riches could buy, with the addition of fame 
and admiration, left her with the unsatisfied 
hunger that every true woman knows and 
must satisfy, to realize her best. This was 
love. A French gentleman had long tried to 
persuade her to marry him. Calve laughed at 
his solicitations. She declared she must be 
free and had no time for marriage. 
Calve had won fame, riches, love; 
and then came a new desire. She 
would acquire peace. For Calve, tranquillity 
and public life were an impossible combina- 
tion, so she retired to seek peace and quiet on 
her French estate. In the green fields she saw 
care-free children in their merry play, and 
The Joys of 
Motherhood 1072 
Personal Help for Young Women 
watched the peasant mothers, tired and oft- 
times overworked, but ever with a happy 
smile or a gentle touch for their little ones; 
here she recognized wealth she had never 
known, and treasures now beyond her attain- 
ment. To assuage her heart-hunger, she 
opened on her estate a sanatorium for the poor 
and sick children of the cities. Here it was 
that the touch of baby hands, the laugh of 
childish voices, and the sincere love of un- 
spoiled hearts, awakened her to a still fuller 
realization of what motherhood could mean. 
Then came the deepest and strongest desire of 
all her life-the one she can never possess, the 
joy the humblest and most obscure woman may 
have-the joy of motherhood. 
Listen to the pathetic cry of 
Calve's heart, who for more than 
twenty years has had all the world could 
offer of money, fame and homage. "I 
am growing old," she says. "Age is a 
matter of the mind. One may preserve a 
youthful appearance and yet be as old as the 
pyramids. I know that I am old because I 
am tired of fighting. At my age, I lack that 
force, that only force, which would make me 
young again-children. * * *- My dear, 
The Cry of 
a Woman's 
Heart Ideal Womanhood 
1073 
beautiful voice is still brave and sonorous, 
more touching and of a more intense sensi- 
bility than ever before. * * * I would will- 
ingly sacrifice my fame as a world singer if I 
had five or six children. I could easily give 
up my riches and my luxuries if I had the 
greatest wealth of all in my home-an armful 
of babies. I put family above everything. 
The older I get the stronger this feeling comes 
upon me. The memory of my triumphs will 
dim as the years go by, and I shall live only 
in the memory of the people as 'Calve, the 
singer; Calve, the greatest of Carmens'-for 
there is no one to think of me as a dear, tender 
protectress, as a kind, indulgent, but wonder- 
ful mother." 
Too late has Calve realized that the 
applause of thousands can never 
be so welcome as the soft clapping of baby 
hands and the sweetness of their laughter! 
Too late has Calve learned that into the life of 
every true woman, even though she attains the 
greatest heights of fame and renown, and sat- 
isfies to the fullest the urge of an ambitious 
career, there will come a time when she will 
know the elemental longing that will not be 
The 
Elemental 
Longing 
V.4-1J 1074 
Personal Help for Young Women 
stilled, when she would give all for just the 
simple domestic life of wife and mother! 
Calve's estimate of life is typical. 
Life's blossoms fail to yield their 
sweetest perfume to the woman 
who disregards her inborn needs by failing to 
assume her share of duty and obligation as a 
true wife and mother. She may try to deceive 
herself by fancying she has attained the goal 
of happiness in imitating men; in the life of 
the woman militant; in a professional career; 
in being free, seeing life, having a "good 
time," and "liberating" her sex. The finality 
reveals she has danced to the piper and caught 
only bubbles that neither warm nor feed nor 
comfort her chilled and hungering and com- 
fortless heart. Her formula of life has failed 
in its returns of anticipated happiness. The 
strongest element of her being, the element of 
love, too often is the price she has paid to attain 
her concept of success. In reaching her cov- 
eted goal she has grown brilliant, intellectual 
and cold, or has turned in her hunger to some 
relatively unworthy cause, or given her passion 
of adoration to her profession. Whatever her 
makeshift, she has robbed herself of complete- 
The Power 
of Love in 
Woman's 
Life Ideal Womanhood 
1075 
ness as a woman, and inwardly she feels a dis- 
appointment in her achievements. 
These are not newly discovered 
facts. Yet sociologists tell us that 
many young women, healthy and apparently 
normal, revolt against marriage. Why is this? 
There are several causes, but one of the grav- 
est comes from lack of proper sex education. 
Until very recently, all of the most vital facts 
connected with woman's life as wife and 
mother have been shrouded in mystery. If 
she sought knowledge, she was looked upon 
with disfavor. Society's conspiracy of silence 
made her feel she ought not to know, or even 
seek to know. When the young girl asked 
questions of her mother, frequently the replies 
lacked directness and truthfulness. Too often 
mamma spoke with a strange air as though 
there was something of shame that needed to 
be covered up. In some sad cases, there was. 
Yet this evasiveness gives the girl an entirely 
wrong impression of facts that are the most 
beautiful and sacred in Nature. She picks up 
fragmentary and often questionable knowl- 
edge from her associates, and scraps of con- 
versation that she overhears, all of which add 
to her necessarily distorted views. She is told 
The 
Conspiracy 
of Silence 1076 
Personal Help for Young Women 
stories of marital infelicity by the idle, or the 
mismated, or the utterly selfish and discon- 
tented married woman, and she reads the news- 
paper exploitations of divorce and scandal. 
With no sound knowledge to guide her and 
with more of trivial, restless and discontented 
life everywhere about her than our modern 
civilization has ever before known, is it sur- 
prising that she is prejudiced against mar- 
riage? Or that, if she marries, she is ignorant 
and heedless of the sacredness of the marriage 
bond and sometimes in recklessness says, "I 
can try it, and if I am unhappy it is easy 
enough to get a divorce." 
Marriage is not the mistake; the 
mistake is the lack of understand- 
ing, and a wrong point of view. A correct 
point of view comes only through a correct 
attitude of heart and mind. Self-knowledge is 
essential to every young woman. Denied the 
proper sex education, her happiness and that 
of the unborn is endangered. This knowledge 
should be given as simply and as naturally as 
any other fact in life. Mother's dear lips are 
the ones that should first sympathetically 
answer her girl's questions, and give her sound 
information. 
A Wrong 
Point 
of View Ideal Womanhood 
1077 
Ignorance is not conducive to a 
realization of ideal womanhood 
in marriage; also the union in wedlock of two 
selfish, discontented individuals can not pro- 
duce happiness. The woman who lacks an 
understanding of her physical life as woman, 
who knows nothing of the laws of right mat- 
ing and parentage, who possesses false ideas 
of the marriage relation, and whose concept 
of marital happiness is a mere indulgence of 
the self, needs not be surprised when she 
fails to find in marriage the goal she blindly 
seeks. Rarely will she escape from becoming 
one of the narrow failures who denounce 
marriage as narrowing and a failure. 
* 
Personally, I wish I were able to 
speak with sufficient power to safe- 
guard against heedless, hasty and ill-consid- 
ered matings. I would that my picture, in a 
subsequent chapter, of the deep agony of "A 
Parent's Hell" with its opposite, "A Parent's 
Heaven," might leave an abiding impression 
so that every young woman reading it, with 
the making of her life before her, will, in 
choosing a mate, remember and heed the un- 
alterable laws of the Mendelian heredity. I 
Marriage 
a Failure 
A Personal 
Word 1078 
Personal Help for Young Women 
would that parents who read the true story 
told in "Love's Paradise Lost," might see 
something of the misery and suffering that 
can be brought on through the policy of se- 
crecy, and awaken to the need of being frank 
and truthful with the child. 
In closing, I would speak a very 
personal word to the young women 
of education and ambition who feel 
the power to do things worth while in the 
world and who fear that marriage will destroy 
their dreams. In confidence may I speak? I 
have been one of you. Business and profes- 
sional activities held me until middle life. In 
an eminently worthy work I saw and felt my 
greatest service. I loved it with all the inten- 
sity of a strong nature. It was both my hus- 
band and my child. I felt I was doing my 
best and highest for humanity and the nation. 
Then came a change. Marriage came into 
my life, and on me descended the blessed ben- 
ediction of motherhood. Here I found myself, 
discovering depths and heights before un- 
known. To the wife and mother, a home- 
maker and a true yoke-fellow, helpmate, in- 
spirer, comrade, I have need to draw from all 
of the richness of my experience gained in 
The Young 
Woman 
with Great 
Ambitions Ideal Womanhood 
1079 
years of active, professional life. To faith- 
fully perform my duties calls for social, eco- 
nomic, intellectual and moral service. The 
largeness of my service to state and society 
is in proportion as I am faithful in my stew- 
ardship. In the home, love has found its 
own, its rightful and sweetest expression, and 
here has come rest to heart and mind. 
In the ministry to my little son 
has come the emancipation of my 
womanhood. Accepting the obvious that "the 
child is the tomorrow of the race," places on 
me the responsibility of utilizing my every 
power to act as his leader into the fields of 
activity for which his mind has a natural at- 
traction. All of my twenty-five years of study 
of psychology, heredity and the child I feel 
have but fitted me to be the more worthy 
companion of my son. I have needed all 
that life has brought me to adequately re- 
spond to his interests. As a single woman 
my work was unusual in its opportunities to 
serve. I have had the blessed privilege to 
minister to thousands, yet it was not until I 
felt the touch of my baby's warm lips that 
I felt my life had really been worth while 
and that I had lived for a great purpose. 
The Eman= 
cipation of 
Womanhood THE TRIUMPH 
1080 CHAPTER LXXII 
LOVE AND LOVERS 
The Love- 
making 
of Throve 
and Polly 
"Give me the first person singu- 
lar, passive voice, present tense, 
of the verb 'to love.' " "I am 
loved," was her answer, as she looked away. 
"And, don't you know, I love you," said he, 
quickly. "That is the active voice," said she, 
with a smile. "Polly," he said, "I love you 
as I could love no other in the world." He 
drew her close, and she looked at him very 
soberly. "You love me?" she asked, in half 
a whisper. "With all my heart." 
The above is part of the love-making of 
Throve and Polly, as told by Irving Bachel- 
ler in his delightful book, "Darrell of the 
Blessed Isles." 
The world will always have a 
Throve and a Polly. A real love 
story in the present tense is always 
interesting. Love has always re- 
mained with me in the present tense, from 
I Love: 
First 
Person, 
Singular, 
Active 
Voice 
1081 1082 
Personal Help for Young Women 
the time I began at half-past three loving the 
buttercups, baby blue eyes, and fragrant 
phlox that I gathered in my wild woods, to 
the rich and blessed hour of writing this 
book. And as "I love" will represent the 
present state of many of you who read this 
book, let us have a heart-turned-inside-out 
time. 
One Halloween night, in my 
early teens, my chum and I swal- 
lowed the prescribed amount of salt, took our 
hand mirrors, and stealing softly out of the 
house, solemnly repeated the formula: "New 
moon, true moon, reveal unto me, the man 
I'm to have and the man to have me." And 
girls, we made a real magic, for we actually 
saw eyes and hair and the color of both! 
How excited we were! We did not dare 
speak, for that would have broken the charm! 
But we did let out two terrified yells that 
would have curdled the blood of an Apache, 
and ran toward the house! Following us, 
came a monstrous, pursuing terror, that 
proved later to be our brindle cow! Alas, 
for our magic! It was as near the real 
thing as flashing eyes and raven locks may be 
to real love. 
Making a 
Magic Love and Lovers 
1083 
Real Love 
and Reel 
Love 
A classic brow and an Apollo 
form may be sufficient for love 
in a moving picture reel, or satisfy the re- 
quirements of a sensational novel, but real 
love is never founded on such things. True, 
outward attractions may make many a girl 
believe she is in love, but if she marry under 
such a delusion, misery will be the inevitable 
result. "The color of his eyes and the color 
of his hair" are but a part of the fine feathers 
that nature uses to attract the sexes. These 
feathers are desirable, and do much to satisfy 
esthetic taste and the spirit of romance, but 
along with them goes the man with his in- 
grained habits, prejudices, and frailties. These 
are also apparent to the eyes of love, that is 
anything but blind. In truth, love's eyesight 
is so acutely keen that love sees and finds, 
along with faults, real virtues that the un- 
loving may never discover. As to actual 
faults, the truly womanly woman sees and 
accepts them as just the natural faults of her 
big boy, that need her wise and mothering 
care. 
Every normal woman is still a 
cave woman at heart, in that the 
primal instinct of her being is maternal love. 
At Heart 
a Cave 
Woman 1084 
Personal Help for Young Women 
This instinct impels the need to "mother' 
something, and this desire, when expressed, 
is a love-emotion. This is the hidden source 
from which spring the many complex emotions 
that make up her complete love for her lover. 
This is why the natural expression of her 
love is more tender, and more given to caress- 
es than that of her mate. Nor has civiliza- 
tion fully erased the cave man. Having had 
to act as the protector, to fight in the open 
for the needed sustenance of his loved ones, 
has given to his love, in its expression, more 
of the manifestation of fierceness and owner- 
ship. Remembering these two different mani- 
festations of the love of man and woman will 
cause many a young wife to understand acts 
in her husband that seem so different from 
her love dreams. 
In the genuine love-union of man 
and wife, these inner sources of 
love's beginnings branch out in 
many ways to form mutual interests, admira- 
tions, and joys, until the maternal instinct of 
the woman unites with the protective instinct 
of the man and emotions are formed that 
weld together body, soul, and spirit, "and 
When 
"They Two 
Become One 
Flesh" Love and Lovers 
1085 
they two become one flesh." Any attraction 
is incomplete and fails to be love that lacks 
this trinity of union-the trinity of body, 
soul, and spirit. Such a love makes you a 
complete woman when he has entered your 
life. When you have found him, garden or 
desert, fisherman's hut or palace, counts for 
little. Wherever you two are together, there 
is completeness. In the true welding, he 
becomes your all-your mate, the comrade 
of your soul, companion of your spirit, core 
of your heart. 
"When you come to multiply 
love by experience," to again 
quote Bacheller, "and subtract 
vanity and add peace, and square the re- 
mainder, and then divide by the number of 
days of thy life, it is a pretty problem, and 
the result may be much or little." The 
"much" will depend on the quality of your 
love. "Getting married" produces no mirac- 
ulous change in man or woman. Your hus- 
band will have the same peculiarities after 
marriage as before. Struggle, suffering, or 
sorrow, merely intensifies the traits that made 
him noble or selfish. So before you give the 
Multiply" 
ing Love 
by 
Experience 1086 
Personal Help for Young Women 
irrevocable promise to your throve, analyze 
your love when you are alone and free from 
any personal or magnetic control from his 
life, and if then you find your love just as 
intense and abiding, you may know that you 
love him well enough to marry him. 
All of you have formed a picture 
of your lover-hero, a kind of 
superman with whom you have walked in a 
beautiful imaginary world that you have 
named "My Mate and I." Yet, when he 
comes, it will be different. I had the stage 
all set for his coming, in my Teen Age. It 
was to be in the spring when the air was 
filled with the fragrance of red roses, lilac, 
and acacia that bloomed in my California 
home. There would be silvery flecks of 
moonlight sifting through the trees and the 
soft breeze bringing the delicious perfume 
from the blossoming grapevines in the arbor. 
And then we would watch the stars and 
select the star that would be ours "when 
love became immortal." But life brought 
me my lover at noon, in a little church in 
the Northland, and it was late October! The 
leaves were sere and brown, the flowers 
I Am Loved: 
Passive 
Voice Love and Lovers 
1087 
faded, the sky was gray, and I far past the 
springtime of my life; but how little these 
things mattered! My Lover-Mate brought 
me a new world of marvelous beauty. In it 
we went exploring, hand in hand. I was so 
very happy, for we found great treasure, and 
I was no longer alone, and all the sum of 
all my former dreams did not begin to be 
as sweet as the reality. More than ten years 
have gone their way since our wedding day, 
and life and love have grown richer and 
sweeter, as they should, while my laddie is 
dearer and a more devoted lover. So it will 
be with you, dear heart, when the Real One 
enters your life. 
Those of us who have passed 
through the Marriage Gate know 
that the only dreams that come 
true in wedlock, as elsewhere in life, are 
those we build with our own toil, patience, 
and endeavor. The Palace of Understanding 
between man and wife does not occupy the 
valley but is established on the mountain top. 
To reach it there must be patience and toler- 
ance on the part of each, that strife may be 
avoided, which always leaves its scars on the 
The Only 
Dreams 
That Come 
True 1088 
Personal Help for Young Women 
soul. William Lee Howard, M. D., who 
has said many excellent things to young peo- 
ple, aptly puts it: "If marriages are made 
in heaven, then they should be attended by 
angels; but, as they are usually made on 
earth, they have to have an earthly testing." 
The poet sings, "Fate has written 
a tragedy; its name is 'The Hu- 
man Heart.' " How easy it is to blame fate 
when we are responsible! The Hon. J. 
Freschi, City Magistrate of New York, who 
has read deeply from actual life in his many 
judicial dealings with domestic problems, 
after summing up all the causes that may 
produce marital discord, such as where one 
is rich and one poor; where one is highly 
cultured and the other not; where one is out 
of their own religion or social set, says, 
"These are no barriers to marital happiness. 
They may cause differences, but they will 
not cause serious dissensions. And this is 
because in such differences of opinion-even 
where religion is in question-people are 
yielding or at least tolerant. But there is 
one fatal cause of dissension, because it 
knows no yielding, no tolerance. That is a 
difference in moral standards!" 
"Fate Has 
Written 
a Tragedy" Love and Lovers 
1089 
Warning 
Signals in 
Courting 
Days 
Judge Freschi further shows 
that, in these moral mismatings, 
he has "almost invariably dis- 
covered there were plenty of warning sig- 
nals" in the courting days. "The girl," he 
explains, "marries a sweetheart who drinks 
or gambles, then hags later because he is 
intemperate or improvident. The man mar- 
ries a flirt who is interested in suggestive 
literature, and feels himself injured later be- 
cause his wife is frivolous or inclined to be 
lax morally." The judge amusingly tells of 
one case where he reminded the man that 
he knew of the woman's weaknesses before 
he married her. "That's all true," sullenly 
replied the man, "but, your honor, lots of 
things a girl can do before she's married are 
dead wrong afterward. I thought she'd get 
some sense." 
Are you in the superconfident 
egoism of romantic love, excusing 
habits that, if continued, will 
make your prospective husband repellant? 
Is his moral nature such that it will tend to 
make him repulsive or a physical wreck, and 
do you ignore it because you feel your love 
Holy Sacra- 
ment or 
Debasing 
Sacrilege 1090 
Personal Help for Young Women 
in marriage will change it all? If so, rarely 
will you escape having your marriage be- 
come a debasing sacrilege, instead of a holy 
sacrament. When you, in the knowledge of 
such facts about him, promise to love and 
cherish him until death, you can never, with- 
out sin, break your vow. 
There is an ancient prayer, one of 
the best ever offered in any church, 
that fits every marriage ceremony. The keep- 
ing of this prayer would do away with many a 
social tragedy: "And now let us hope that 
what we have said with our lips we may be- 
lieve in our hearts and practice in our lives." 
I am reverently repeating it here in regard 
to all I have said to you. 
An Ancient 
Prayer WHERE THE MEADOW LARK SINGS 
1091 CHAPTER LXXIII 
MARRIAGE AND PARENTAGE 
Motherhood is the crowning bless- 
ing of every true woman's life. 
Down deep in her heart she has a feeling that 
life will not be complete until she has borne 
children. In her dreams of home and happi- 
ness with her love-mate, she sees the shadowy 
forms of little beings that some day will nestle 
close to her heart, and feels the pat of their 
tiny hands on her breast and the kisses of their 
warm lips. She sees those future days when 
they will call her that sweetest, dearest word 
of all, "mama." Then her dreams follow 
them through their childhood unfoldment, 
adventure, and awakening. She sees them in 
college, winners of honors and degrees, and 
later honored and recognized by the world 
as true noblemen and noblewomen "who need 
but to stand erect and speak when all eyes are 
riveted and all hearts are carried away into a 
sweet captivity." How proud she is of their 
Home and 
Happiness 
1092 Marriage and Parentage 
1093 
achievements! With what quiet joy and sat- 
isfaction she rests on the comfort her children 
will be to her when length of years will make 
her weary of earthly pleasures! "I shall be 
very, very happy," she cries, and life seems 
radiantly bright and fair. 
"Very, very happy," the voices of 
the children-to-be seem to echo 
back to her heart. But do you know, mother 
heart, that they are also gently pleading with 
you to choose wisely in choosing their father? 
If you could hear them speak now, instead of 
afterwards, they would say that in this choice 
you are predetermining their future happiness 
or misery. They would anxiously ask, "Are 
you selecting wisely in order to give us bodies 
free from hereditary taint of feeble-minded- 
ness, epilepsy, criminality, drunkenness, or 
debauchery? Or shall we go through life dis- 
eased, crippled, deformed, congenitally blind 
or deaf or morally depraved? We want to 
come to you as the supremest blessing, but you 
may by thoughtless disregard of our welfare 
make us the source of profoundest remorse or 
sorrow. Nothing can undo the mistake you 
may make, and nothing be more important to 
our life-history than that you choose aright." 
The Cry 
of the 
Unborn 1094 
Personal Help for Young Women 
At the marriage altar a woman 
passes through the gateway of the 
one to the many-from herself to her chil- 
dren's children. Nothing offers as does mar- 
riage so large an opportunity for the sweetest, 
completest, and most satisfying life a woman 
may ever know, or equally holds the latent 
possibilities for so much unspeakable misery. 
Her future weal or woe is largely determined 
by her offspring, and the kind she will have 
she largely chooses in choosing her life mate. 
The choosing of a mate, therefore, above all 
other matters pertaining to her life, demands 
her gravest, most serious and prayerful con- 
sideration. 
Without emotion science calmly 
declares: "No race or species, veg- 
etable, animal or human, can maintain, much 
less raise, its organic level unless its best be 
selected for parenthood. Every advanced step 
in the progress of all life will be conditioned 
by mating selections. No breed of men or 
animals has improved except through the se- 
lection of the best for parentage. None has 
become degraded or decadent except through 
inferior matings." However fond and ideal- 
istic may be your dream of supreme and un- 
Choosing 
Your 
Children 
The Verdict 
of Science Marriage and Parentage 
1095 
alloyed happiness in marriage and parentage, 
you can not escape the fulfillment of these 
biological laws. 
"Like the seed is the harvest," is 
the great fundamental truth of 
heredity. If your child manifests traits of 
weakness or degeneracy, do not seek to shift 
the blame on chance, fate, or accident, but 
remember that the essential constitution and 
mind of an individual are born and not made, 
and that you largely predetermined the char- 
acter of your child when you decided on your 
life mate. 
Science is never sentimental. It 
listens to the novelist's picture of 
the fond lovers walking in an Eden of delight 
with heart answering to heart in a sweet re- 
sponse of love with each unuttered wish un- 
derstood, and coldly proclaims that a blind 
regard based only on sentimentality and phys- 
ical attractiveness may not be sufficient for a 
happy marriage and the parentage of healthy, 
normal children. Science is outspoken in de- 
nouncing any attraction between the sexes that 
disregards the consequences to offspring. 
Common sense and true love do the same. 
Every true marriage must always take into 
A Great 
Fundamental 
Truth 
Science and 
Romance 1096 
Personal Help for Young Women 
account the welfare of the child-to-be. Any 
marital attraction between a man and a woman 
that ignores the child can not be dignified by 
the name of "love," for love first of all is con- 
siderate, unselfish, and sane. 
Marriage involves the right to 
parenthood with all of its grave 
responsibilities and great joys. The mother- 
love of every woman should listen to the cry 
of the children-to-be when her lover pleads, 
and she should seek as far as she is able to be 
true to the unborn, and to contribute her part, 
little though it be, to improving the race and 
future generations. Science at such a time 
would bring before her all the ghosts of the 
past from her own ancestry and that of her 
wooer. They would show her the physically 
robust, mentally normal, and morally sane, to- 
gether with the hereditarily maimed and de- 
generate. Science would give voice to these 
ancestral ghosts from the farm, the workshop, 
the bench, the hall of learning, and the temple 
of fame; also from the jail, the poorhouse, the 
asylum, and the graveyard, and have them 
pronounce their benediction or malediction 
on the wedding vow. They would have the 
bride remember that tendencies toward vice 
Your 
Ancestral 
Ghosts Marriage and Parentage 
1097 
and virtue are transmissible to the children 
just the same as color of eyes and hair, and 
that good sons and good daughters, or evil, 
are born with the certainty of a tree bearing 
fruit after its own kind. 
"I just can not give up my lover. 
It would break my heart!" How 
often have I heard these words when I ex- 
pressed disapproval of a young woman marry- 
ing a profligate or a drunkard to reform him. 
"You don't know how much I love my sweet- 
heart," she continues. "True, he does drink 
and has been a bit wild like other young fel- 
lows in his set, but I will marry him and my 
love will save him. My influence will be so 
great that he will quickly clean up his life." 
I have watched experiments of this 
kind for many years and usually 
have found that the man is not the better for 
the marriage, while the wife finds that now 
her heart really does break in a hungering, 
agonizing wail as she holds her babes to her 
breast for but a brief season and then has to 
put them away one by one in little coffins, be- 
cause, as Ibsen says, "They are worm-eaten 
from birth." Frequently she becomes a phys- 
ical wreck. With racking nerves and depleted 
A Fond and 
Foolish 
Notion 
Marrying 
a Man to 
Save Him 1098 
Personal Help for Young Women 
physical vigor her love that was to accomplish 
such a miracle of reform in marriage, often 
gives up the fight and she sinks to the level of 
the man she marries. In youth, badness is 
generally positive, so that when badness and 
goodness unite, the badness will rule, and rule 
to ruin. It is a positive sin for any pure girl 
to marry a dissolute man, and invariably she 
will have to suffer for her foolish notion that 
she can marry a profligate and clean him up. 
Sorrow and abiding care will be hers as a 
mother, and too often her children and her 
children's children for generations will suffer 
from her mistake. Neither should she marry 
the reformed man, even though many such a 
one has made a loving husband and kind 
father, because the children of reformed men 
usually inherit the effects of their fathers' 
previous dissipations. 
A glimpse at two life stories simi- 
lar to many I have known: Bell 
was an affectionate, trusting girl of twenty. 
In her inexperience she was wooed and 
won by a polished, well-dressed rascal. Only 
a week before the day set for her wedding 
did she find out the true character of her 
suitor and how unworthy he was of her. It 
A Broken 
Heart at 
Twenty Marriage and Parentage 
1099 
was a terrible tragedy in her bright and inno- 
cent life. Many a time I held her in my arms 
while she sobbed, "My heart is broken. I can 
never love again. I am so utterly miserable I 
wish I could dit!" With all the intensity and 
emotionality of her nature she felt and meant 
every word she said, yet five years later, after 
extensive associations with varying interests 
and new faces, the plasticity of youth asserted 
itself and healed the sore heart and she mar- 
ried an excellent young business man. Today 
Bell is a happy wife and the mother of two 
beautiful children. The mention of her 
former suitor brings a look of disgust and 
loathing to her face. 
At the gate of the state peniten- 
tiary of Michigan, one bleak win- 
ter's day I met a gray-haired woman of sixty. 
She was bent and crushed, and so full of 
anguish that I could but speak a word of love. 
My sympathy so touched her that she broke 
down completely, and slowly and laboriously 
she told me the history of her life. She had 
married a man against the wishes of her peo- 
ple. She had married him to reform him, and 
had failed. She had been the mother of three 
children: two had died in babyhood', the eldest, 
Roses to 
Ashes 1100 
Personal Help for Young Women 
a boy, she had clung to with a despairing fond- 
ness. He was a bad boy but she made excuses 
for him on account of his youth. He was a 
wayward young man, but she forgave and 
said, "He will do better when he becomes 
more matured." He grew worse with advanc- 
ing years, yet ever her mother-heart kept find- 
ing some excuse and hoping "her boy" would 
turn out all right and give her the love and 
companionship for which she had hungered 
all her married life. 
A crime had been committed. 
The day I met the mother the 
law had demanded "her boy's" confine- 
ment in the penitentiary for a long term. 
Then indeed did her heart break, for 
hope was dead, killed at last by the hands 
of her criminal son. She faced the world at 
sixty, with no one to whom she could go for 
comfort, and with a body that had been broken 
by disappointment and tragedy. As she dis- 
appeared from sight in the wintry twilight, I 
could but feel that the broken heart of a 
mother at sixty knows a depth of anguish far 
beyond the keenest grief and sorrow that can 
ever come in the severing of a youthful affec- 
tion. The aged mother had not only a broken 
A Broken 
Life at 
Sixty Marriage and Parentage 
1101 
heart but a broken life, with no hope in the 
future and nothing but regrets over her mis- 
take in marrying a man to reform him. Bet- 
ter, a hundred times better, a broken heart at 
twenty than at sixty. In the freshness of your 
womanhood choose aright the father of your 
children, for health as well as for morals, and 
avert a tragedy in your declining years. Copyright by Underwood & Underwood. 
AMERICANS GREATEST ASSET-WELL-BORN CHILDREN 
1102 CHAPTER LXXIV 
CHOOSING YOUR CHILDREN 
A beautiful child! The unspoken 
prayer of every normal woman is 
that she may have the strength and wisdom "to 
rear so fair a flower"-a child with ruddy 
cheeks and a healthy body without a shadow 
of blight; with a keen, bright intellect flash- 
ing in beauty from eyes that a moment before 
were glowing with affection; with a spirit of 
love and goodness that illumines a life for 
service. Such a child is a happily born child, 
whose beauty charms throughout the period 
of its life and whose fragrance grows sweeter 
with the years. 
Sir Francis Galton, the founder of 
the modern science of eugenics, 
has defined the child of a superior heredity as 
"the happily born." Such a child is not an 
accident. Superior powers of body, mind and 
morals do not come by blind chance. They 
A Beautiful 
Child 
The Happily 
Born Child 
1103 1104 
Personal Help for Young Women 
are the result, whether consciously or uncon- 
sciously, of a judicious mating of parents who 
represent what animal breeders recognize as 
"good stock," and of proper prenatal care of 
the mother. 
A judicious mating is at the foun- 
dation of all children with a good 
heredity. In order that yours may be of the 
"happily born," it is essential that you gain as 
much detailed information as you are able of 
the traits and characteristics, normal and ab- 
normal, of your ancestors for at least two or 
three generations. The child-to-be is equally 
affected by the ancestors of the father and the 
mother. The endowment of character, good 
or bad, of one family is weighed against that 
of the other in inheritance, and together deter- 
mine the personality of your child. This 
makes it needful to study your own family 
tree and that of your proposed life mate. If 
you are in doubt as to the best method of doing 
so, you can secure practical information by 
addressing the Eugenics Record Office at Cold 
Spring Harbor, Long Island, New York. Not 
only will they be glad to help you in securing 
data, but the bureau offers its services free of 
Choosing the 
Well-Born 
Child Jane Addams 
1105 Personal Help for Young Women 
1106 
charge to persons seeking advice as to the con- 
sequences of a proposed mating. 
To study one's pedigree involves 
matters far deeper than a selfish 
pride in ancestry, for it is vitally 
related to the welfare and happiness of your 
future children. Considering one's self in the 
light of heredity, we find that every life is 
made up of physical, mental and moral traits 
or characteristics. In a technical sense, any 
trait that is strong and pronounced is called a 
"factor." In your heredity you have many 
traits or factors, some that are dominant, oth- 
ers recessive. A dominant factor is under- 
stood to mean some characteristic that is ac- 
tively manifested in your life. A recessive 
factor is a characteristic that is hidden or con- 
cealed and gives positively no indication of 
its presence in you. It is a heritage from your 
ancestors and does not appear in you, but in 
your children. To illustrate: you may have 
a dominant factor of longevity, and a recessive 
factor of artistic ability. Through the law of 
heredity the factors dominant and recessive 
are passed on and become the inheritance of 
the children-to-be. The factors from each 
parent and his and her ancestors equally af- 
Your 
Ancestors 
and Your 
Children Choosing Your Children 
1107 
feet the inborn physical and mental character- 
istics of children; hence the wisdom of seek- 
ing to safeguard their interests through a study 
of the forbears of the prospective parents. 
The foundation of happiness lies 
in health. The choice of every 
parent without question is for rosy cheeked, 
healthy children, yet we find a large number 
of puny, undersized, maimed and sickly chil- 
dren, thousands with not enough vitality to 
tide them over the first anniversary of their 
birth. What is the trouble? Someone has 
blundered. The child has received a wrong 
start and a heritage of disease instead of 
health. While in a strict genetic sense par- 
ents do not pass on a disease to their children 
as a recessive or a dominant factor (except in 
a few rare diseases), they do pass on a pre- 
disposing tendency and susceptibility to dif- 
ferent diseases. Doctors call this susceptibility 
a "diathesis," which sounds as formidable as 
"recessive or dominant factor." In practical 
every-day experience, a "diathesis"-a predis- 
posing tendency to some disease-is as formid- 
able as it sounds, and it results in sickly and 
ailing children. Eugenic research has made 
a list of nearly a hundred specific diseases that 
A Healthy 
Child 1108 
Personal Help for Young Women 
can thus menace the health of the children- 
to-be. If a marriage partner has a suscepti- 
bility to any of the dread diseases like con- 
sumption, heart disease, or unstable nerves, it 
should be realized and the fact weighed that 
the parent will probably transmit the weakness 
in some form to the children. The parent be- 
ing physically unfit is to foreshadow children 
that will be a source of care and sorrow. 
The maternal feeling is strong in 
almost every woman. By nature 
she is sympathetic, and inclined to 
nurse and care for the weak. When her love 
goes out to one of delicate health she often 
feels the greater tenderness and more urgent 
desire to marry her sweetheart and minister 
to him. She loves him and her heart argues, 
should not love sacrifice for the beloved? But 
will you love him when your children sicken 
and die? Can you afford to allow sentiment 
and emotion to blind you to the facts of hered- 
ity? As one writer well remarks, "There is 
nothing appealingly romantic about a brood 
of epileptic or neurotic or imbecile children." 
Dr. C. B. Davenport, director of 
the Eugenics Record Office, Cold 
Spring Harbor, Long Island, tells a sad case 
When Your 
Children 
Sicken 
and Die 
Choosing 
Sick 
Children Choosing Your Children 
1109 
of marrying a man to care for him, that fur- 
nishes an apt illustration. A young girl 
wanted to marry a young man whose father 
had been afflicted with a form of Saint Vitus 
dance that occurs in old age, and that is hered- 
itary. It was probable that the son would also 
be affected, as he had already shown some 
signs of nervousness. She was warned of her 
danger in such a marriage, but in the blind- 
ness of her infatuation, she cried: "Though 
John were ill, I would marry him. He is not 
ill, and if he should fall ill, I should wish to 
marry him in order to care for him." The 
result was, "She did care for him," says Dr. 
Davenport, "and also for four of her seven 
children, all of whom were affected with this 
terrible disease." 
While scientific research is mak- 
ing new and valuable discoveries 
daily so that one hesitates to posi- 
tively state any law as invariable, yet there 
are certain common diseases that you need to 
guard against to protect your children-to-be 
against lives of misery and suffering. These 
are: cancer, consumption, heart disease, 
anemia, scrofula, epilepsy and various forms 
of chronic nervousness. If you have any one 
Safeguard- 
ing the 
Health of 
the Unborn 1110 
Personal Help for Young Women 
of these diseases as a dominant factor, that is, 
manifest in you, to marry one with a like or 
similar affliction is to invite sickness and mis- 
ery on your unborn. Even if you and your 
mate are free from any outward indication of 
disease, if you both, through your heredity, 
carry a latent susceptibility to a similar weak- 
ness, the one sure way to bring it into activity 
is to unite the two tainted strains. "It is highly 
undesirable," says Dr. Davenport, in speak- 
ing of tuberculosis, "that two persons of weak 
resistance should marry, lest their children all 
carry the weakness." 
From the records available we 
know there are grave mental and 
moral defects that parents can pass 
on to their children by carelessness in mating. 
It seems almost unnecessary to speak of the 
agony and degeneracy that fall to the lot of 
the children when parents are depraved, de- 
bauched, feeble-minded, criminal, alcoholic, 
or insane. Instances of this character are ob- 
servable in any communitv. It is sufficient to 
repeat the warning fact that the observations 
of all psychiatrists agree, that when both par- 
ents are insane or feeble-minded, only insane 
or feeble-minded children result. Likewise 
Mentally and 
Morally 
Sound 
Children Choosing Your Children 
1111 
any other dominant (active) mental or moral 
defect present in both parents, the defect will 
appear as an active factor in all the offspring, 
though not always manifesting itself in the 
same way. 
A defect does not always appear 
the same in the offspring as in the 
parents, and frequently it reveals itself differ- 
ently in each of several children. To illus- 
trate: Mr. and Mrs. B-, one has weakness 
of brain and the other is subject to epileptic 
seizures. This instability of the nerves may 
manifest itself in one of their children and 
cause feeble-mindedness, in another and pro- 
duce a craving for liquor, while a third child 
is afflicted by lacking a moral sense and is 
criminal in its tendencies. Thus from the 
same or similar defect in a father and a 
mother, there may result a physical, a mental, 
or a moral abnormality. In this connection it 
is well to remember that when a child receives 
a double portion of a similar defect there is 
always a tendency for it to appear in the child 
in an exaggerated form. The ratio between 
abnormality and abnormality is plus, not 
minus. 
Variety 
of Mani- 
festation 1112 
Personal Help for Young Women 
So much has been written in re- 
gard to the awful effects of alco- 
holic parentage that it seems it would be need- 
less to warn anyone against the menace of 
marrying a man addicted to drink. The re- 
sults are pitifully common in the records of 
the divorce courts that tell of poverty, wrecked 
homes, broken hearts, and sickly, maimed and 
depraved children. A passing illustration to 
show the withering blight of alcohol on chil- 
dren in a Scotch family whose tragic history I 
watched for several years. Both parents when 
married were physically strong and vigorous. 
The mother, while slightly eccentric, was a 
total abstainer, honest and industrious. The 
father, from a successful business man and an 
occasional drinker, developed to an habitual 
drunkard and died in delirium tremens. They 
had seven children. Two died of convulsions 
in infancy. One daughter was neurotic and 
so physically defective that though past her 
maturity she had never been able to walk. 
Another, a daughter, was abnormally selfish, 
so vicious she could not be sent to school, and 
showed plain markings of the hereditary crim- 
inal. The third, a boy, at the age of nine h-ad 
already manifested a mania for drink, and 
Children 
of 
Alcoholics Choosing Your Children 
1113 
required constant watching. The next, a girl, 
was bright, sunny, kind, and much like her 
maternal grandmother. The fifth, a boy, was 
a sexual pervert who began to manifest his 
abnormality at the age of four. One only out 
of seven, who did not show the trail of the 
serpent, and she still not sufficiently matured 
to be free from the menace of the danger. 
Think of any of these misfortunes attending 
your child! Think of choosing such a future 
for your unborn! 
A violent temper is passed on di- 
rect from parent to child, accord- 
ing to the findings of Dr. Davenport. His 
records show that it "tends, ordinarily, to re- 
appear, on the average, in half of the children 
of an afflicted parent." 
I have had so much to say about 
sickness, degeneracy and crime, 
that you may feel that my whole message is 
but to furnish a warning against marrying and 
multiplying the unfit. You have seen only the 
dark side of the picture. The world is grow- 
ing in knowledge, and many of us are learning 
that primarily the life processes are truly 
good. In the next chapter, I hope to show 
Inheritance 
of Bad 
Temper 
A Rainbow 
in the 
Sky 1114 
Personal Help for Young Women 
you the bright side of the picture that reveals 
a rainbow of hope in the sky. Yet even here, 
you will not escape the truth emphasized in 
the beginning of my talk, "Marriage and Par- 
entage," that the essential constitution and 
mind of an individual are born and not made, 
and you largely predetermine the character of 
your children when you decide on your life- 
mate. CHAPTER LXXV 
A PARENT'S HEAVEN OR HELL 
The Bright 
Side of the 
Picture 
The survival of the fittest is Na- 
ture's formula, and in this way she 
is ever accepting and rejecting new forms of 
life. In this simple fact is to be seen the 
bright side of the picture. Normality is al- 
ways dominant over abnormality. Health 
predominates over sickness, the fit over the 
unfit; the strong and the normal over the weak 
and the defective. This is the most beneficent, 
blessed, and hopeful revelation of heredity. 
In the biological law just given is 
a star of hope for those parents 
who know they are physically unfit to give 
a sound inheritance to their children. If such 
is your handicap, with few exceptions, you 
will find that health will predominate over 
sickness, IF you and yours are faithful, per- 
sistent, and determined to overcome through 
hygienic living, care, self-control, and abste- 
A Star 
of Hope 
1115 1116 
Personal Help for Young Women 
miousness, the susceptibility to the disease to 
which there is weak resistence through the 
hereditary taint. Notice I said IF, and that if 
is so essential and involves such watchfulness 
and obedience to all the things I indicated, 
that a large majority fail to win. Your task 
is not easy. You need tenacity of will to keep 
up the fight, for the weak resistance in your 
inheritance always makes you liable to attack 
when the environment is favorable. 
It was my pleasure to help a youth, 
who was entrusted to my care for 
a few years, win out over a handicap. He had 
inherited a very marked predisposition to 
heart trouble from his mother, who had suf- 
fered in this way. The doctor who knew the 
family history said the boy would never live 
to be twenty-one. As a boy of fourteen he had 
been using very stimulating food with irri- 
tating condiments, and drinking strong coflee. 
He had a temper as irritable as his pepper 
and hot sauces. I substituted a simple, plain, 
wholesome diet, and compelled him to be 
guarded in his physical exercises. I insisted 
he must master his temper, and rigidly avoid 
tobacco and stimulants in every form. A rad- 
ical change in body and character are not ac- 
Winning 
Over a 
Handicap A Parent's Heaven or Hell 
1117 
complished overnight, but the boy had grit, a 
strong will and perseverance, and these per- 
sisted in for years tided him over his majority 
with such an outward appearance of robust- 
ness that it would be hard for any one to be- 
lieve that his life had ever been despaired of. 
Knowing his innate weakness, he has always 
exercised watchfulness and special care, yet 
by doing so he is victor and is able to do his 
part in the world's work. 
Do you know the life history of 
Annette Kellerman, the woman 
who excels all others in the 
perfect beauty of her physical form? Do 
you know of her muscular endurance and 
her unrivaled records as a long-distance wo- 
man swimmer? As a child she was bent, de- 
formed and crippled, her feet turned in and 
her knees turned out, and she had to wear iron 
braces to her hips. Yet her father and a doctor 
decided that sea bathing and swimming were 
the only things that would help her, and swim 
she was made to, although it took eighteen 
lessons before she learned, when the rest of her 
family learned in four or five. Today she 
stands for all that is athletic, agile, symmetical 
and graceful, in woman. She is not only the 
The Most 
Beautifully 
Formed 
Woman in 
the World 1118 
Personal Help for Young Women 
most beautifully formed woman in the world 
today, but is also the champion woman swim- 
mer. Her wonderful achievement over her 
physical deformity is a thrilling story of what 
a human being's grit, determination and per- 
sistence can accomplish. 
Mother Nature is impartial. She 
draws no line of discrimination 
and is as prodigal in her rewards to those who 
obey her laws as she is severe in her punish- 
ment of the disobedient. This beneficent fact 
is frequently ignored in the agitation about 
the unfit, the abnormal, the insane, the crim- 
inal, etc. Remember that the same law of 
mating that applies to the transmission of re- 
cessive or dominant defects from parents to 
their children, applies with equal force to the 
passing on of recessive or dominant traits of 
health, longevity, business capacity, invention, 
music, letters, genius. This is the bright, pos- 
itive, constructive side that many seem to 
overlook. 
There are families that are good 
and do good, not because of their 
training to restrain their evil tend- 
encies, but because of inherent qualities of 
Nature Is 
Prodigal in 
Her Rewards 
Your Power 
to Bless 
Your 
Children A Parent's Heaven or Hell 
1119 
greatness. How easy it is to guide a child who 
has a natural reverence for its parents, for law 
and order! How difficult to govern one that 
has no respect for God or man! There are 
children in whom goodness is natural, vice a 
thing to be acquired; who seemingly are born 
with "their faces toward Jerusalem," and lisp 
His name in prayer as naturally as they laugh 
in play. Such children have received a legacy 
of blessing from their parents, and dominant 
qualities of good that predominate over evil. 
They are the result of the fulfilment of the 
same law that brings sickness, depravity and 
degeneracy. They too are an illustration of 
the fact, "like the seed is the harvest." 
• 
Familiar as a twice-told tale is the 
old saying, "blood will tell." Su- 
perior brain power, talent, genius, lofty ideals 
and principles of morality run through fam- 
ilies, and can be passed on from generation to 
generation as surely as can alcoholism, idiocy 
and immorality. The pages of history are 
filled with illustrations. Read the names of 
the pre-eminent Americans listed in the Hall 
of Fame and note the relationship in the 
Lowell's, the Beecher's, the Adams', and the 
many honored and respected descendants of 
Blood 
Will 
Tell 
V.4-17 1120 
Personal Help for Young Women 
Jonathan Edwards. The matter of pedigree is 
very carefully studied by every breeder of fine 
horses, cattle, and poultry, by every dog fan- 
cier, and by every man who, like Luther Bur- 
bank, is interested in the fuller development 
of vegetable, grain, fruit, vine, tree and flower. 
Shall we ignore these laws in their application 
to the improvement of "the human plant?" 
Shall we shut our eyes to the light of science, 
close our ears to the cry of the unborn, and 
turn the whole matter over to irresponsible 
impulse and blind chance? 
In recent years we have heard a 
good deal in regard to eugenic 
marriages. In many of our states and terri- 
tories we have passed laws limiting marriage 
selection. The various conditions that have 
been considered sufficient to deny marriage 
are: insanity; idiocy; imbecility; and to the 
feeble-minded, pauper, drunkard, physically 
incapable, venereally diseased, and habitually 
criminal. No student of heredity needs any 
argument to persuade him of the undesirability 
of allowing such unfit to marry. The reports 
furnished by field workers are harrowing 
when such tainted stock has united in parent- 
hood. They abound in miscarriages and the 
An 
Eugenic 
Marriage A Parent's Heaven or Hell 
1121 
still-born, in almshouse and illegitimate 
births, in children that are blind, deaf, epi- 
leptic, feeble-minded, syphilitic, tuberculous, 
who later become alcoholics, criminals, pau- 
pers, grave social offenders, vagrants, and 
wanderers. To mate the fittest in marriage 
involves biology, sociology, psychology, and 
a true moral sense all merged into one, and 
the eugenist has to pause and exercise "some 
of the patience of God" while he waits for the 
fruit of his efforts, for the Clock of Eternity 
ticks not seconds, but years. However, he is 
not without hope, for "every birth is a fresh 
start-God's promise of the superman." 
In this age of social inequality, 
when the masses have to slave and 
toil that a few may have the wine and oil, and 
Labor and its children are being crushed under 
the wheels of Mammon, it is impossible to 
give any rule of marriage selection that will 
be practice1 for all to follow. Again, as there 
are so many considerations involved in every 
marriage, no formula of mating can ever be 
given as an insurance policy of positive and 
unalloyed happiness, unless men and women 
become angels, and earth the Kingdom of 
Heaven. The inability of science to secure 
Race 
Betterment 1122 
Personal Help for Young Women 
sufficient adequate data from which to deduct 
genealogical laws, bars the eugenists from as- 
serting finality, yet I may condense into a 
single statement what I have given you on 
parentage, and have you keep it as a marriage 
guide that will make for better babies, bet- 
ter homes and a better race. 
Marry into a family that carries a 
desirable trait or genius of a kind 
that is also carried in your family strain and 
thus emphasize the desirable trait. Avoid 
marrying one who carries or whose family 
carries a defect also carried by you or your 
own ancestors. 
You who have suffered in conse- 
quence of another's misfortune, do 
you not want to help rid the world of its pain, 
misery and imperfections? Do you not want 
to hand down to your descendants a legacy of 
health and blessing? For the hope and joy of 
giving to the world happily born children, 
are you not willing to be guided by an eu- 
genic marriage rule? Get the vision of a 
noble parentage and increase the number of 
grand men and women who are obeying as 
far as they know how, and thus you will be 
An Eugenic 
Alarriage 
Rule 
The Greatest 
Legacy A Parent's Heaven or Hell 
1123 
among the saviours of the race, the beginners 
of a truer civilization, the forerunners of a 
glorified humanity, the foreshadowers of the 
superman. 
I would have you cultivate a prac- 
tical eugenic conscience and real- 
ize the latent possibilities that reside in all 
individuals to bless or curse the unborn ac- 
cording to their choice in mating. I would 
also bring you a concrete illustration, that 
portrays actuality and the known results of 
the power for good and for evil residing in one 
being. The example is furnished by Dr. God- 
dard of Vineland, New Jersey, in his history 
of the Kallikak family. In the days of the 
Revolution a normal man had an illegitimate 
child by a feeble-minded girl. From this un- 
fortunate union came 480 descendants, only 
46 of whom were known to be normal. The 
434 remaining presented an unwholesome 
array of criminals, feeble-minded and degen- 
erates; 36 were illegitimate children, 82 died 
in infancy, 3 were epileptics, 3 were crim- 
inals, 33 were prostitutes, 8 keepers of houses 
of prostitution, 24 confirmed alcoholics, and 
102 were doubtful cases. 
A Practical 
Eugenic 
Conscience 1124 
Personal Help for Young Women 
Reward 
from Right 
Mating 
The terrible potentialities for evil 
exerted by this colonial sire of 
blackened progeny, was later completely re- 
versed when he married a normal woman. 
From this mating came 496 descendants. All 
of them were mentally normal, except one, 
who became insane; and all were morally 
upright, except two, one a drunkard, and one 
sexually loose. Only fifteen died in infan-cy. 
There were among them no illegitimates, no 
feeble-minded, no epileptics, and no criminals. 
Respectable members of many professions 
were found among them: lawyers, judges, doc- 
tors, educators, traders and landholders. 
The Vision Come nearer. Make this personal. 
Behind you stand the ancestral ghosts of the 
past, and as you stand at the marriage altar 
they voice their approval or condemnation of 
the wedding bond. Before you is a mighty 
host and they come very near. They are your 
descendants. In them is reality, for they are 
your ou'n flesh and blood and are the result of 
you own choosing. The harvest is like the seed. 
The sowing is yours. What will you reap? 
Did selfishness rule in your life? 
Did you think only of your own 
pleasure and turn a deaf ear to the pleadings 
A Parent's 
Hell A Parent's Heaven or Hell 
1125 
of the unborn? Did you pass unheeded the 
lessons from beds of pain, crippled bodies, 
blighted souls, and deformed spirits? Did 
you defy Nature and Nature's God? Then 
face in your future a diseased, debased, de- 
bauched, deformed, pauper, idiotic, insane, 
criminal throng. Hear the moans from the 
sick bed, the blasphemy of profligate men and 
women, the wild si lek of the insane, the silly 
chuckle of the feeble-minded. Feel the froth 
of the epileptic as it touches your hand, or the 
deadening weight of the drunkard as he reels 
cursing at your feet. Feel the pain when it 
grips your heart as the cold iron of prison 
bars presses your flesh and blood, or when the 
insane leer out at you through grated windows. 
Add to this the anguish of remorse as the awful 
truth pierces your soul, "I am responsible for 
this, my choice brought you here," and you 
will know the agony of a parent's hell. 
Did you think of the unborn when 
your sweetheart whispered, "I love 
you?" Was the welfare of your children-to- 
be placed above the alluring fancies of the 
moment? Did you realize that marriage was 
a social privilege and responsibility and that 
no life can ever live to itself alone? Did you 
A Parent's 
Heaven 1126 
Personal Help for Young Women 
seek to master your appetites, subdue your 
selfishness, and chasten your feelings .so that 
you might realize the highest and best in your- 
self and in your children? Then to you also 
has come, "like the seed, the harvest." In 
your descendants are the true noblemen and 
noblewomen of the earth. They are captains 
of might and strength, leaders in courage and 
in power of conviction, masters of learning, 
art, science and invention. They are the great 
lovers and saviours of the race. The richest 
joys that earth affords have been yours, for you 
have watched and directed the unfoldment of 
their beautiful lives. Peacefully you may lay 
down the satisfying responsibilities of men 
and women when length of years have made 
you weary of earth, for listen, your children 
are saying, "You chose the safe path. You 
created the trend which we will follow." 
The agonizing tortures of a par- 
ent's hell or the blessed benedic- 
tion of a parent's heaven are before 
you. Which will you have? Remember, 
you choose your children when you choose 
your life mate. 
Making 
Your 
Heaven 
or Hell EVERY YOUNG WOMAN SHOULD KNOW 
1127 Crushed in spirit. Hope dead. Future one of despair. Just 
one of the multiplied thousands. 
1128 CHAPTER LXXVI 
LOVE'S paradise lost 
The Happy 
Wedding 
Day 
"I believe I was the happiest 
woman in all the world on my 
wedding day. The good fairies of my imagi- 
native girlhood were seemingly fulfilling all 
promises of future joy. I was so proud of my 
handsome husband and of his legal standing 
as the most brilliant lawyer in the state. I was 
so delighted with the beautiful home he had 
bought and furnished for me in the big city 
that I saw for the first time as his bride. The 
great city, with its brightness and activity, so 
different from my quiet, uneventful life as a 
farmer's daughter! Everything spelled glad, 
glad joy. On that day I loved all the world, 
and most of all my husband. And then came 
blackest night-thirteen long years of suffer- 
ing and heartache, after which they carried 
me to the hospital a physical wreck, crushed 
in spirit, with hope dead and the future a long, 
deep despair." 
1129 1130 
Personal Help for Young Women 
The speaker, a frail, sensitive little 
woman, first called on me to solicit 
my interest in behalf of her eldest son, con- 
fined in the state reformatory. I found he 
was so unquestionably bad that there was no 
chance for his release. On her next visit she 
brought her three remaining children. She 
wanted instruction in governing them. They 
were all vicious and inherently bad. I was 
puzzled. It was then she told me her pitiful 
life story, beginning with her wonderful joy 
on her wedding day. I understood. The story 
was not a new one to me. My heart bled. 
I may not repeat much of her story; 
it is too awful, too agonizing. Suf- 
fice it to say, she had been an only 
child, brought up on a farm by good old- 
fashioned parents. Her parents did not be- 
lieve in any of the "fad ways" of raising a 
girl. "Maternal instinct" and "mother-love" 
would reveal to any ordinary girl, like theirs, 
all she ever needed to know as wife and 
mother. Thus it was that the policy of her 
parents and her isolated life combined to keep 
her in ignorance of all that is most vital and 
sacred to womanhood. Her husband, twelve 
years her senior, by nature positive, necessarily 
The Mark 
of the 
Beast 
The Story 
of One 
Woman's 
Life Love's Paradise Lost 
1131 
dominated her. Thinking to insure harmony 
and happiness for their daughter, the parents 
gave a final admonition: "Remember, John is 
older than you and much wiser. Never op- 
pose him. It is the duty of a faithful, loving 
wife to obey her husband in all things." 
She was by nature sensitive, re- 
spectful, reverential. She gave 
her husband the first and all-dominating love 
of a strong nature. Faithfully, she obeyed 
the parting counsel of her parents. However, 
soon after her marriage she began to question 
and wonder. There were things that did not 
seem right and her soul began to sink under a 
burden that grew heavier because it was dumb 
-there was no one to whom she dared speak. 
For thirteen years she struggled and fought 
as against a demon that robbed her of health, 
crushed her love, and destroyed her happiness. 
Then Nature put in its claim and she was car- 
ried away a helpless invalid to the hospital, 
a wreck in body, and almost in mind. It was 
three years before she was able to leave. 
During her thirteen years of mar- 
ried life she had borne nine chil- 
dren, five of whom died in infancy. The rest, 
Love's 
Paradise 
Lost 
The Fruits 
of Excess 1132 
Personal Help for Young Women 
three boys and a girl, I saw. The oldest boy 
had been confined in the state reformatory 
since an early age. He lacked self-control in 
virtually everything. The second boy had 
served a term in the reformatory where an 
effort had been made to train him to respect 
the law and the rights of others. The girl 
had on her young face the plain markings of 
sexual degeneracy, while the youngest child, 
a boy, was feeble-minded. Soon after the 
mother was taken to the hospital the husband 
became insane and, at the time of this story, 
had been an inmate of a state institution for 
five years. His case was hopeless. The physi- 
cian stated the cause as sexual excess combined 
with intense mental activity. 
Just before the little woman left 
me, she came up very close, and, 
with a timid look on her face, said she had 
something very special to tell me, something 
she had wanted but had not dared to speak of 
to anyone. She told me that the Bible had 
become her constant solace while on her bed 
of pain. "I hunted up," she said, "for the 
first time, the text I had so often heard, 'wives, 
submit yourselves unto your own husbands/ 
and what was my great surprise to further read, 
Satan 
and the 
Scriptures Love's Paradise Lost 
1133 
'husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also 
loved the church, and gave Himself for it? 
All my suffering had come from the partial 
application of this text. This revealed the 
cause of the inner rebellion of my soul against 
an enslaved motherhood, and why abhorrence 
and hatred had supplanted my love for my 
husband. Sister, you are strong. Tell others 
of my years in hell and the reason, and may 
God's love help you to save others from my 
fate!" 
It is with a shrinking and a heavy 
heart that I take up this task. 
Were such cases infrequent I would remain 
silent, but I speak from a larger experience 
and because of the unbelievable hundreds who 
have come to me in like sorrow and pain, the 
victims of this same terrible wrong. Out of 
this experience, I am impelled to say that there 
has been no other one cause so responsible for 
misery and hopelessness. Because of its awful 
prevalence I am constrained to speak to save 
others from blindly entering into a like fate 
and as blindly submitting to it. 
"Wives, submit yourselves unto 
your own husbands," is the Devil's 
favorite text for blighting love, robbing chil- 
An Old, 
Old Story 
Womanhood 
Enslaved 1134 
Personal Help for Young Women 
dren of their rightful inheritance, despoiling 
homes, debasing men, debauching women, and 
crowding the divorce courts. I could cite in- 
cident after incident too terrible to tell of the 
consequences of this crime of womanhood en- 
slaved because of obedience to "marital 
rights." The witnesses are everywhere. Stu- 
dents of crime know that children born of 
enslaved mothers quickly become slaves of 
their own passions and easily yield to the evil 
designs of others. Walk through any one of 
our targe hospitals and see the faces of the 
suffering women and puny children; visit the 
insane wards and note the broken-down moth- 
ers and raving fathers; go to the institutions 
for the feeble-minded and look in sorrow upon 
the blighted, distorted weaklings; and know 
that a large per cent, are the direct result of 
this crime of ignorance. 
Inward rebellion and outward 
obedience to the Devil's version of 
this text is responsible for the crime of crimes 
■-the destruction, or the attempted destruction 
of the unwelcome child. The awfulness of 
this would be too terrible for discussion were 
it not that some may not know that life has its 
inception at the very first moment of concep- 
The 
Crime of 
Christendom Love's Paradise Lost 
1135 
tion. Those who practice abortion are mur- 
derers in the sight of God and of all human 
law, and they will have to render an account 
for breaking the commandment, "Thou shalt 
not kill." 
This practice is responsible for the 
alarming increase of suicide and 
murder. Parents of unwelcome 
children, whose lives they have tried to de- 
stroy, need not be surprised if their offspring 
manifest criminal tendencies. This is part of 
the toll these parents must pay for their crime; 
the balance is collected as a more direct and 
personal claim. Ask your physician the num- 
ber of wives that annually find their way to 
the madhouse as the direct result of this crime 
of crimes. 
God's laws are eternal. You can 
not break them; they break you! 
Unchanged through the ages has 
been the fulfillment of Jehovah's words: "I 
am that I am. I visit the iniquity of the 
fathers upon the children unto the third and 
the fourth generation of them that hate me, 
and show mercy unto thousands of them that 
love me and keep my commandments." 
Increase 
of Suicide, 
Murder and 
Insanity 
The 
Unchanging 
Laws of 
God 1136 
Personal Help for Young Women 
What Is 
Civilization? 
Better parents - not iniquitous 
ones! Not only good children, but 
a superior race. For, as Havelock Ellis says, 
"Divine force works through us. * * * 
Reckless abandonment to the impulse of the 
moment may seem beautiful to some persons, 
but it is not civilization. We possess the 
power, if we will, deliberately and consciously 
to create a new race, to mould the world of the 
future. * * * ft is in our power not only to 
generate life, but, if we will, to regenerate 
life." 
"How?" The all important thing 
is that there must be, between hus- 
band and wife, a clean, pure, strong, unselfish 
devotion that will give to children a heritage 
of love. 
The love of parents for each other 
is the greatest thing the parents can 
give the coming child. You may give educa- 
tion, wealth, prominence, and position, but if 
love is omitted you cheat your child out of its 
greatest and most valuable heritage. Let me 
repeat what I have said before: endow your 
child with your love, and the better elements 
of each parent are emphasized in the child, 
Love Is 
the Answer 
The Greatest 
Thing in 
the World Love's Paradise Lost 
1137 
and the undesirable qualities of each are di- 
minished. A child of love-of genuine love, 
not mere sex attraction-is a well-born child. 
To be well born is the greatest gift within 
the power of parenthood. Such a child is 
a blessing to his parents, to his generation, 
and to himself. I have studied the family 
record and prenatal conditions of thousands 
of criminals. The more I have studied, the 
stronger has grown my conviction that the 
well-born person rarely, if ever, lapses into 
high crime. 
We live in an age of intense activ- 
ity and men and women worth 
while do things. The practical eugenist has 
his part with the rest. To him comes the call 
of a single standard of morals; a marriage 
eugenically sound, based on all-comprehen- 
sive love; a parentage that is considerate, un- 
selfish, patient, truthful, honest, loving; a life 
that is clean, true to its highest impulses, 
manifesting love to God and keeping His 
commandments. 
Such a love between husband and 
wife solves all marital problems. 
Such couples have no need of rules or admoni- 
The Call to 
the Practical 
Eugenist 
God's Love 
Made 
Manifest 1138 
Personal Help for Young Women 
tions from anyone, for they spontaneously keep 
God's commandments. "Love is the fulfil- 
ment of the law." Excess and its consequent 
disregard for the welfare of unborn children 
is impossible, for there are no claims to self- 
rights that wrong another. There are no un- 
welcome children with inherited lascivious 
proclivities and tendencies toward vice and 
crime. Change selfishness to selflessness and 
the shame of divorce becomes a thing of the 
past. Recognize God as the source of all love, 
and all of love's expressions come to represent 
Him. Pure affection, tender regard and gen- 
tle kindness with absolute equality, reign in 
the home; life is an unspoken prayer, and 
every association sacred and beautiful. 
Love's dream is no illusion. Sin 
is the illusion. Sin only can de- 
stroy life's earthly paradise. Love's vision is 
but an imperfect foreshadowing of the peace 
and happiness and abiding joy of the well- 
mated man and woman. Paradise lost by sin 
is regained when the love upon which God 
puts His sanction supplants excess, and is rec- 
ognized and accepted as the law of life. 
Love's 
Vision 
Realized A FINE TYPE OF YOUNG WOMANHOOD 
1139 The fascinating, inspirational talks to young women, "When 
My Knight Comes Riding," which makes up the closing chapters 
of this division, were written by Mrs. Boutwell, whose splendid 
likeness is given above. 
Mrs. Elizabeth Boutwell and Son 
1140 CHAPTER LXXVII 
THE LURE OF THE ROAD 
The light is out and the fire is low, 
just low enough to send little 
flickering lights over the faces of 
the girls gathered about my big chair on the 
floor. You are there close up beside me, so 
close that sometimes your arm rests on my 
knee and your serious eyes look up at me with 
all the fine idealism that is in your heart. 
Will you forget for awhile the girls around 
you, and just you and I face alone the big- 
gest problem, the most tremendous force, the 
greatest power that is in your life? Before 
the revelation you and I will stand with won- 
der and awe; we are facing it now with rever- 
ence in our hearts, and the sweet, pure faith 
that God was very wise in His plan for life 
and living. 
Do you remember the scientist who called 
his men together to perform an experiment 
and began with prayer, saying: 
"Gentlemen, we are about to ask God a 
question"? 
Facing 
Life's 
Biggest 
Problem 
1141 1142 
Personal Help for Young Women 
God can be asked no deeper question than 
the one we are asking tonight, for we are 
going to put our fingers on the throbbing 
heart of life and feel its very pulse beats. So 
dear little friend with questioning eyes, will 
you ask that God may give you understand- 
ing while we talk together? 
I like to think of life as a twisting, 
turning highway that runs on and 
on ahead of us, don't you? There is so much 
about a road that is just like life. It stretches 
on ahead without stopping; it passes inviting, 
shady nooks and hot, barren plains; many peo- 
ple are traveling over it, some rich, some poor, 
some who totter with age, others who press 
forward with abounding youth; there are up- 
hills and down hills; treacherous bridges and 
turbulent streams that tumble across the road; 
some of the while it goes through the sun- 
shine, and often through the shadows; some- 
times it branches in a most perplexing way, 
and perhaps the signposts help us and perhaps 
they don't; but always and always the road 
is winding and turning, and just around the 
bend ahead lie unseen beauties and unknown 
possibilities. 
Life a 
Twisting 
Highway The Lure of the Road 
1143 
The Lure of 
the Road 
Haven't you felt it, that lure of the 
road? How it draws one on and 
on, and irresistibly invites one just around the 
bend ahead. You have been on a railroad 
train that was rushing across the country, and 
a pleasant road wandered along beside you for 
awhile. You enjoyed that road, wishing per- 
haps that you might gather the flowers that 
grew beside it. Then it turned from the track, 
wandered away past the red schoolhouse, 
rounded the hill in the distance and disap- 
peared. And while the train went on, you 
closed your eyes and followed the road around 
the hill, didn't you? You felt it tugging at 
you, the lure of the road. 
I have a water color of Wallace Nutting 
that hangs on my wall, and some day I am 
going to step right through the frame and 
wander off into that picture, I know. It isn't 
the apple tree with its wealth of bloom that 
attracts one, nor the moss-covered boulder 
beneath it. It is the irresistible road that dis- 
appears into a clump of trees, and leaves one 
longing to follow. The lure of the road,- 
it gets you every time. 
Tonight you 'and I are turning 
from the paths that have tugged at 
our hearts to the great Highway of Life 
The Lure 
of Life 1144 
Personal Help for Young Women 
thronged with many, many people. It is a 
wonderful road that climbs and dips and 
shimmers away in the distance; and the lure 
of the road becomes the Lure of Life, filing 
you with such an eager desire to follow to the 
rim of the world that it becomes an ache in 
your heart. 
Oh, haven't you felt it when the sunshine 
wakened you on a golden Spring morning, 
and you heard a bluebird singing close by your 
window? When you pressed your face into 
that fragrant mass of violets and knew that 
God had touched the world into life again? 
When John told you last night that he had had 
a better time at the party than any other in his 
whole life, and you knew he had spent most 
of his time with you? 
Have you ever had this experience, little 
Traveler, and wondered at the force of the 
thing within you? You were bidding John 
good-night, when unexpectedly he said, "I 
think you're the finest girl I ever knew." 
Later on, up in your room, you sat 
curled up in your big chair going 
over and over the memory of it, thrilling at 
the words and the look on his face when he 
said it, wondering at the tumult in your heart 
The Sex 
Awakening The Lure of the Road 
1145 
and the beating of your pulses. You didn't 
like John particularly. His ears were too big 
and he bit his finger nails. Why should you 
feel like this just because he said those earnest 
words to you? 
Little did you realize, and neither did John, 
that somehow that night the great God-given 
force within you, the life force, the creative 
force, the sex force, had been stirred, and you 
were feeling its first response. It left you 
quivering with its joy and its power, and for 
days, perhaps, you were gripped by it. 
This is a powerful energy that lies in one 
small human body like yours, capable of 
marvelous achievements if you become its 
master. But, oh, little Traveler, you need to 
know it well, to understand its values and its 
possibilities or it may sweep you beyond your- 
self. The Lure of the Road, the call of life, 
is the most precious possession you have, and 
it is the most dangerous one. CHAPTER LXXVIII 
RISKS OF THE ROAD 
Some problems in a girl's life are 
particularly hard to put into 
words. Especially questions that concern her 
relations with boys. Haven't you found that 
so? Because I believe that, I sorted out from 
my file a letter from a dear little girl in a dis- 
tant city, and brought it with me tonight, for 
in it she has stated your problem, I believe, 
just as you would state it if you were writing 
to me. So if you will stir up the fire for a 
little more light, I know Margaret would be 
glad to have me share her letter with you. 
"Will you please forgive my coming to you 
just like this? But I just must have help, and 
I know that you'll give it to me. 
"You see it happened just this way. 
Esther gave a party last Friday 
night and Hugh took me. You remember 
Hugh, don't you? He's been going with me 
all winter, and I thought he liked me a lot. 
I know I like him-oh-an awful lot. We 
Margaret's 
Problem 
Her First 
Mistake 
1146 Risks of the Road 
1147 
had a good time at the party, but I thought 
he was with Aleen more than with me. They 
ate refreshments together out under the trees, 
away from the rest of us, and when we were 
putting on our wraps to go home, Aleen told 
me some of the nice things he said to her. 
"On the way home I just couldn't talk 
much; I think I must have felt badly about 
the way he acted, and of course that was silly. 
Hugh noticed it because he began to say nice 
things, and tried to put his arm around me. 
That was the first time he had ever tried that 
and of course I wouldn't let him. 
"It was awfully late when we got home, but 
we sat down on the front steps for awhile, 
and Hugh tried to put his arm around me 
again. At first I wouldn't let him, but after 
awhile-oh, I'm ashamed to write it-I did. 
But that wasn't the worst. Pretty soon he 
stooped over and kissed me. I just sat still and 
didn't say a word, and then,-he kissed me 
again. 
"Oh, how I loathed myself the next morn- 
ing, and have ever since. I haven't seen Hugh 
or heard from him, and I wouldn't know how 
to face him if he should come back. I'm 
just sick about it. Why did he do it, and 1148 
Personal Help for Young Women 
what made me let him do it? Why did I 
want him to that night and hate myself the 
next day for it? I don't understand these 
things and I'm sick about it all. Won't you 
please help me"? 
Do you see how nearly Margaret's 
problem is yours, the same eternal 
question as you both face dawning woman- 
hood? I'm glad you didn't smile as I read 
that letter, for Margaret is struggling with a 
tremendously big situation and I should have 
felt as though you had not understood if you 
had smiled. It is your problem, too, and you 
have faced no fact as serious as this along the 
way so far. Your womanhood is in the mak- 
ing, and as you meet and solve your perplex- 
ities you will make your womanhood sweet 
and beautiful, or cramped and disappointing. 
Do you remember in the first days of the 
war when the German hordes swept over 
France and were drawing close to Paris? 
How the world held its breath as wave after 
wave beat against the first line of defense that 
surrounded Paris fifty miles out from the city. 
There were other lines of forts between that 
first one and Paris, but if it went down, why 
would not the others follow? The safety of 
First Line 
of Defense 
Broken Risks of the Road 
1149 
Paris, the safety of France, the safety of the 
world depended upon that first line of de- 
fense. So while the enemy battered and the 
world looked on in an anguish of uncertainty, 
the French Blue Devils, with prayers in their 
hearts and sobs in their throats and the cry 
"They shall not pass" on their lips, beat back 
the Huns, and saved the world for democracy. 
Within your heart is a citadel 
more sacred than Paris-the cita- 
del of Pure Womanhood. Ene- 
mies are constantly laying siege to it, and you 
are its sole defender. Sometimes the enemies 
come in the guise of friends and you do not 
recognize them; sometimes they lay open siege 
to the citadel; perhaps they come single- 
handed or perhaps they attack in throngs; 
maybe you overcome them easily or maybe 
you have a fierce struggle. But always the 
enemy batters against the first line of defense 
that surrounds the citadel of Pure Woman- 
hood, and there lies your safety or your dan- 
ger. Once let that go down, and it is easier 
for the next one to fall. But if it stands im- 
pregnable, that lovely, winsome womanhood 
will grow sweeter and stronger, getting ready 
Citadel of 
Pure 
Womanhood 
Endangered 1150 
Personal Help for Young Women 
to throw the gates open wide to your gallant 
Knight when he comes riding. 
That was Margarets first mistake. Her 
sweet, maidenly reserve, which was her first 
line of defense, wavered and went down be- 
fore the attack. It had stood invincibly before 
this. Her boy friends all agreed that Mar- 
garet was a brick. You see, she had a good 
many enemies with which to contend all at 
once. Jealousy of Aleen first attacked her, 
coupled with a fear that she was losing her 
charm for Hugh. Then came her desire to 
hold him at any cost, to give him what he 
wanted. Strongest of all came Hugh's attack. 
She thought that she herself wanted above all 
things else in life right then just exactly what 
Hugh wanted. So down came her first line 
of defense. She let him put his arm around 
her. Then her second line went down. He 
kissed her. 
The next day she "loathed herself." Some- 
how she felt a sense of defeat and shame. Her 
defense was gone, and it would be hard, oh, 
so hard, to build it up again. But fortunately, 
Hugh never came back again. 
All girls are not as fortunate as Margaret 
in this respect. More often the enemy returns, Risks of the Road 
1151 
and caresses and kisses used without the sac- 
redness of love, become cheapened and de- 
filed. The lovely freshness of her womanhood 
is worn away and her inherent charm and 
sweetness is lessened. 
You have seen a freshly gathered 
rose bud slowly unfolding, filling 
all the air with its fragrance and charming 
with its beauty. Some of its soft petals were 
closed about its fragrant heart. Have you 
ever seen a ruthless hand reach out and play 
with the petals, fingering them and pressing 
them, even though not one was destroyed. The 
next morning you could see all the finger 
marks on the creamy surface. Though the 
rose still stood erect and jaunty on its stem, 
it carried blackened and marred petals that 
made a lover of beautiful roses turn from it 
to an untouched bud. 
Those fingers could have torn away the 
petals that protected the heart of the rose, and 
its fragrance and beauty would have vanished, 
for it would have wilted on its stem. Then 
the very heart, the citadel of Pure Woman- 
hood, would have been destroyed. But rarely 
does that experience come to a girl like you. 
A Fortunate 
Escape 1152 
Personal Help for Young Women 
We are talking about the things that do hap- 
pen to girls like you every day. 
The first line of defense and the outer petals 
of the rose are just alike. It goes down-they 
turn black. The girl who has been handled, 
whose fresh daintiness and sweetness has been 
fingered, can never be quite the same again. 
Her wholesomeness and beauty of spirit has 
been marred. Oh, dear little Traveler, the 
risks of the road are many. Guard well those 
first unfolding petals of your womanhood, 
watch carefully that first line of defense, and 
all will be well. 
When your Knight comes riding 
in all his splendor, will he find a 
fresh, unfolding bud, guarded well for his 
coming? You alone can answer the question 
to him. Oh, why not save the first things, 
the first embrace, the first kiss, for the man 
to whom they will mean so much? Have you 
ever thought what it will mean to him, to the 
man who has fought so valiantly for clean 
manhood, to have you stand some day with 
your hands in his and your eyes looking 
straight into his eyes, and tell him that you 
have come through the struggle victorious? 
That his arms were the first to hold you, that 
Hold Citadel 
Until He 
Comes Risks of the Road 
1153 
his lips were the first to touch yours? You 
will see shining back at you through his eyes 
from the depths of his soul a radiant joy, a 
tender reverence, a pride and confidence that 
will thrill you through and through, and make 
you gloriously glad that you paid the price. 
A man has one of two attitudes 
towards every girl with whom he 
goes. In the first place he may regard her 
as his comrade. There is no sweeter attitude 
than this. He honors her as an equal with 
him. They play together and read together, 
tramp together, "bat" together, enter into deep 
and beautiful realms of friendship together. 
When he reads a beautiful poem he wants to 
share it with her; a glorious sunset or a sym- 
phony concert makes him wish for her; he 
tucks a funny story away in the corner of his 
mind that he might tell it to her; he is not 
afraid to reveal his deepest thoughts to her 
because he is sure of her understanding; he 
takes her with him one day to the circus, and 
the next evening to hear the Messiah sung. 
That's what it means to be the comrade of a 
man. There is no relation more worth while 
in the world except the one of life comrade- 
ship-and the latter is based on the former. 
Some day your Knight will ask you to be his 
Comrade or 
Plaything- 
Which? 1154 
Personal Help for Young Women 
Comrade of the Road, and he can call you 
nothing more sacred than that. 
On the other hand, a man may have the 
second attitude toward you, that of regard- 
ing you as a plaything. Plaything is an ugly 
word, but there is no other that describes that 
attitude of his so well. The man who puts 
his hands on you, who wants to spend his even- 
ings with his arm around you, is playing with 
you, isn't he? He enjoys touching you, "fin- 
gering" you, as a man might enjoy the feeling 
of a rose petal in his fingers. It gives him 
physical pleasure, and that is what he wants. 
Perhaps unconsciously on his part, but none 
the less surely, he regards you as his play- 
thing. He does not see beyond the physical 
to the depths of your mind, to the beauty of 
your spirit, to the sweetness of your compan- 
ionship that he might have. He is satisfied to 
play with you. 
Oh, dear, dear girl, with all the beauty of 
your unfolding womanhood, how can you sell 
that precious birthright of yours, the privi- 
lege of being some man's comrade, just to be 
the plaything of a lesser man? 
The risks of the road are many. The Lady 
must be true to the steel as well as her Knight. Risks of the Road 
1155 
Her birthright must be fought for-but what 
a reward is hers. 
"I loathe Richard," announced 
Hazel. She was perched on the 
table nibbling chocolates and swinging her 
feet. Upon being questioned as to the reason 
for this aversion she explained: 
"I can't stand the way his neck runs up into 
his hair." 
"Why, Hazel," said Florence, "I think he 
has a handsome neck. Besides, what's a neck 
compared to ears like Jack's. They fairly flap 
in the breezes." 
"I don't care," answered Hazel. "I hate 
the back of Richard's neck. And his finger 
nails aren't a bit good looking." 
Dear me, dear me! Two fine eighteen year- 
old boys being utterly discredited by two 
lovely seventeen year-old girls because of the 
way one's neck ran up into his hair, and be- 
cause of the way the other's ears were fastened 
to his head, to say nothing of finger nails. 
Were the girls wrong in judging by those 
little things, or were they right? Had they 
been fair to the men or had they used false 
standards of judgment? 
False 
Standards 1156 
Personal Help for Young Women 
About ten years ago a young man attended 
one of our state universities. He was a poor 
young man and was working his way through 
school. Part of his work was washing dishes 
at the university dining hall, and sometimes 
the water splashed onto his clothes in spite 
of the apron he wore, and his cuffs were just 
a little bit frayed. He was a leader among 
men and was elected to some of their highest 
offices. But the girls judged him by his frayed 
cuffs and the evidences of his work. 
He was going into the library one day just 
ahead of a group of chattering girls. He 
stood back, holding open the heavy door for 
them. Some of them giggled as they passed 
him, some of them turned aside, none of them 
thanked him. After several similar rebuffs, 
the young man never again attempted any 
civilities with the young ladies. These ex- 
periences occurred when he was a freshman. 
After he had won recognition in the university 
he might have had his choice of any of them, 
but he had had enough. 
Today he is an eminent and successful law- 
yer, respected in his community, a force to be 
reckoned with in politics. But he holds a uni- 
versity woman in contempt to this day. Risks of the Road 
1157 
That man possessed wonderful qualities of 
leadership and manliness in his university 
days. The men recognized those qualities and 
judged him by them. Some of the friends 
who are most welcome in his home today are 
those who discovered his sterling worth then. 
He needed a fine girl's friendship in his col- 
lege days, but they judged him by his cuffs 
and his lack of polish, and so they missed a 
splendid companionship, and perhaps the 
opportunity of marriage with a man who is 
taking his place in the nation's affairs. 
Alfred was another young man who was 
also working his way through the university. 
His work consisted in taking care of one of 
the floors of the Y. M. C. A. In his third 
week of school, the freshmen were given a 
stag party by the Y. M. C. A., and in accord- 
ance with his duties Alfred was assigned the 
dishing of the ice cream. 
After refreshments were served the eight 
girls who had been asked to serve were gath- 
ered in a merry group around the ice cream 
freezers, helping themselves. One of them 
had sat down beside Alfred, and they were 
laughing and chattering as they ate their ice 
cream, when the "Y" secretary came along and 
gave a few low-spoken directions to Alfred 1158 
Personal Help for Young Women 
concerning his morning's work. While he was 
speaking, the girl beside him abruptly rose 
and joined the others, saying, with a look of 
consternation on her face: 
"Mercy, I didn't know I was sitting with 
a janitor." 
One of the other girls glanced 
quickly at Alfred, and knew by the 
color that dyed his face that he had overheard 
the cruel remark. Swiftly she went to him, 
and soon he was laughing in spite of himself 
at her bright wit and happy humor. The con- 
versation was skilfully led on to those who 
work their way through school. The girl 
enthusiastically told him about her brother 
who had gone through the university in that 
way and about the different jobs he had held. 
In a short while she was receiving a glowing 
account of how Alfred had obtained this posi- 
tion, and she smiled at his regained ease and 
assurance. 
That was the beginning of a friendship that 
grew deeper throughout their college days, 
and finally ripened into love. Today they are 
very happy, she in her lovely home, he a 
prominent journalist in one of our large cities. 
Incidentally, the girl who was afraid to sit 
Character 
Recognized Risks of the Road 
1159 
by a janitor has since married a man of appar- 
ent polish whose only source of income is a 
small restaurant across from the Union Sta- 
tion in the same city. 
Which girl do you think had the right 
standards of judgment? 
I want to give one more illustration that 
came under my observation. You prefer facts, 
I am sure, to generalities. A young farmer 
who cared very little for farming and had 
other possibilities in him, became interested 
in the new school teacher. She was a girl just 
out of high school, but she recognized those 
latent possibilities in spite of his evident 
crudities and awkwardness. Gradually, from 
their companionship came an inspiration to 
the young man. He went away to school, and 
finally entered a medical college. Several 
years after his graduation, when a flattering 
recognition of merit had come to him, his 
letter to his old friend closed with this sen- 
tence : 
"If it be, as you say, that God never in- 
tended us to be life partners, nevertheless I 
shall always thank Him for bringing you into 
my life. You have made me what I am." 1160 
Personal Help for Young Women 
Qualities 
That Count 
Have you ever seen the gentian 
bud just before the flower unfolds? 
The unattractive appearance gives no sus- 
picion of the beauty folded tightly within. If 
you were someone who did not understand and 
love flowers, you would pass the buds by on 
the roadside and gather very inferior blos- 
soms. Of course, the inferior flowers would 
be prettier than the fast-closed gentian buds 
right at the time. But if you knew what was 
down in the hearts of those buds, if you 
watched over them while the warm winds and 
cool moisture urged them into flowers, you 
would be rewarded by tiny fragrant cups of 
blue beauty. 
I wonder if our boy friends are not a good 
deal like the gentian buds. They are both in 
the developing period of their lives, and per- 
haps the beauty in them is hard to see, unless 
you understand human nature as well as 
flowers. They may very easily be judged by 
the unattractive exterior, by frayed cuffs, by 
necks that run up into hair peculiarly, and 
ears that flap, and finger nails that aren't good 
looking. Some may be worthless buds that 
will develop into worthless flowers, but some 
may need patient and sympathetic insight Risks of the Road 
1161 
while they grow. Perhaps your friendship 
may bring the necessary sunshine to make that 
individuality expand and grow. 
Oh, dear little Traveler, so much more is 
necessary in your Knight than a perfect ex- 
terior. Your life-long happiness with him is 
not going to depend upon his hair or his ears, 
but very much upon his kindliness and his 
devotion, his steadfastness, his sense of honor, 
his unselfishness, his business ability. Why 
not learn to judge him by these qualities that 
really count, rather than by finger nails and 
frayed cuffs. 
Of course, if his finger nails are habitually 
untidy, and his cuffs indicate an inability to 
get beyond the frayed stage, that is a different 
story. But in that case you are judging un- 
tidiness and lack of business ability rather than 
external appearances. Honest poverty is often 
a stage that must be struggled through before 
the heights are attained. 
Watch your Knight for unselfish- 
ness. I do not mean the gifts that 
he may lavish upon you. Far from that. 
Sometimes that is a form of selfishness on the 
part of a man. It makes him feel magnani- 
mous and takes the place of the little personal 
Unselfish*- 
ness 1162 
Personal Help for Young Women 
attentions that he might grant you. But I do 
mean the evidences that he is considering you 
before himself; the quick catching of your 
viewpoint, the willing yielding to your desires, 
all the dear considerations. You will want 
unselfishness in your Knight because, of 
course, you yourself possess it, and nothing 
makes for happiness in a home quite so much 
as two unselfish people vieing with each other 
in an attempt to each outdo the other in un- 
selfishness. 
An old test is given for discovering this 
quality at its source. You have heard of it 
before, I am sure, but its age has established 
it as almost unfailing in accuracy. Watch a 
young man's treatment of his mother. If he 
offers her a beautiful companionship you may 
be sure that he will do the same to you, if you 
are worthy. His mother stands for all woman- 
hood in his home to him, and he will not 
change his nature after marriage. Mothers 
are splendid barometers for a son's attitude 
toward woman. 
You want this Knight of yours to 
have a strong sense of honor. He 
takes pride in his record of not cribbing in 
Sense of 
Honor Risks of the Road 
1163 
his studies, not cheating in his examinations. 
He takes pride in giving his employer full 
time and honest work. Bye and bye, when he 
has chosen you for his Lady, he will be fair 
with you, guided by this sense of honor, and 
he will have the confidence of all men with 
whom he comes in contact in business deal- 
ings. You can help him here very much if you 
will. Show him your pride in him for these 
very evidences of his sense of honor, discour- 
age any false boastfulness he may show for 
"getting ahead" of his employer or his teacher, 
and some day, whether you reap the benefits 
or not, you will have the satisfaction of know- 
ing that you helped a Knight enter the lists 
better equipped than he would otherwise have 
been. 
Demand above all else, little Trav- 
eler, that your Knight come to you 
as clean and pure as you go to him. The 
road you ride together towards the Kingdom 
of Heart's Desire can only be one of misery 
and degradation if it is otherwise. Your faith 
in him would go if he were not worthy of 
your trust, and no home can stand without 
faith. You can judge him by his actions and 
his words. If he has reverence enough for 
Purity of 
Heart 1164 
Personal Help for Young Women 
womanhood to keep his hands off of you, if 
he in no way attempts familiarities, if, after 
engagement, his caresses and kisses are rever- 
ent and tender and beautiful, and if your 
brother and father are willing to vouch for 
him, he is very likely worthy of your trust. 
Of course, there may be instances when there 
would be slightly extenuating circumstances. 
You yourself might be to blame. But you 
can know the purity of his heart if you are 
honest in your seeking. 
All true Knights have a King to 
whom they owe allegiance. Only 
by devotion to the highest do they attain that 
strength and beauty of character that is the 
height of all worthy Knights' ambitions. The 
King has sent a clarion call ringing out over 
the world today. He needs the bravest 
Knights in His service, that true democracy 
may come to all mankind, the Kingdom of 
Friendly Men, the Kingdom of God. You 
want your Knight listed in that service, giv- 
ing the strength of his pure manhood that 
brotherly love may abound throughout the 
world. 
A worthy Knight is this whom you have 
chosen,-strong, tender, valiant. Somewhere 
Strength of 
Character Risks of the Road 
1165 
in the world he is making his struggle for 
clean manhood for your sake. Oh, how worth 
while is any price that you may pay to be 
worthy of this Knight of Invincible Strength. 
"My good blade carves the casques of men, 
My tough lance thrusteth sure, 
My strength is as the strength of ten 
Because my heart is pure." CHAPTER LXXIX 
HIS LADY 
Qualities 
That Attract 
A group of girls very similar to 
this was once upon a time gathered 
around a fireplace, discussing the kind of a 
girl a man wants to marry. The argument 
waxed long and earnest. Every girl had an 
opinion and expressed it emphatically. We 
had ideal brides ranged before our vision from 
the baby-doll type to the efficient kitchen 
mechanic, when we were suddenly confronted 
with the question: 
"How do we know? These are just our 
opinions. Men didn't say so." 
Whereupon I went home, and made out a 
list of as varied types of men as I possibly 
could, men whom I knew well enough to be 
sure that they would be absolutely sincere in 
their answers. The next day this rather start- 
ling question was on its way to them: 
"What sort of a girl are you looking for? 
or, What attracted you to the girl who is now 
your wife"? 
1166 His Lady 
1167 
Varied and characteristic were the replies 
that came, and I am giving extracts from 
them to you, just as they came, straight from 
honest, sincere hearts. 
This one is from an editor: 
"Why did I fall in love with Fran- 
ces? Because she is such an all- 
round pal I found I couldn't live without her. 
She can play with me and study with me and 
fuss with me. Whenever I leave her I always 
feel a little finer for having been in her com- 
pany; I can tackle the next day's work with 
more vim and energy because she has held me 
to my best the night before. I tell you, a 
fellow has just got to fall in love with the 
girl who inspires him to keep clean and true 
to the highest type of manhood. He can't 
help it." 
This one comes from a lumberman: 
"You remember the old golf links 
up at school. Well, right there I 
fell for Hazel. I hadn't thought about her 
in that way at all before. I knew I was happy 
to be with her, but I thought she was just an 
ordinary girl, until that night. We strolled 
out to the golf links, and I had been rather 
'officious' as she said, trying to hold her hand 
An All= 
Round Pal 
Untouched 
by Other 
Men 1168 
Personal Help for Young Women 
several times. When we reached the links 
we sat down under a tree and I tried to put 
my arm around her. Then she turned on me 
and this is what she said: 
" 'Dick, it's awfully hard for a girl to come 
through all these things and reach the man 
she's going to marry absolutely untouched. 
But that's what I'm trying to do. I believe 
he's somewhere in the world, and I want to 
save everything for him.' 
"She said a whole lot more, but before she 
was through I had made up my mind that if 
I could possibly attain to her ideals, I was 
going to be that man. I didn't know there 
were girls like her loose in the world." 
From a business man: 
"I want a girl who understands. I 
don't care if she's as homely as a 
crow, without a single accomplishment, if she 
has the beautiful, womanly art of sympathy. 
If she can meet me in all situations with under- 
standing in her heart, I'll be satisfied. When 
I'm tired and depressed, when I'm hot on the 
trail of a new business quest, when a big ideal 
stirs and uplifts me, I want to be able to turn 
to my wife and find her understanding. There 
Under= 
standing His Lady 
1169 
are women like that I know, because my 
mother was one." 
A Y. M. C. A. Secretary wrote this: 
"I want her to have the radiance 
that comes from within. A pure 
and loving heart shines out through a girl's 
eyes and makes her truly attractive. She must 
be high principled, and untouched by other 
men. That, I believe, is the primary attrac- 
tion when a man is looking for a girl to marry. 
I am not asking more of her than I am will- 
ing to give myself, and I know the price we 
both must pay to be able to meet that require- 
ment. A clean man demands purity of heart 
and mind in.the girl he wants to marry." 
A farmer's opinion: 
"I knew she was the finest comrade 
a fellow could possibly have. I 
liked her because she was square and honest 
with me, and played fair. .She could give me 
her hand just like another man and look me 
straight in the eye. I knew I began looking 
to the next date as soon as I left her, but I 
didn't know I loved her until I saw her with 
a baby in her arms. Then all her tender 
womanhood shone in her eyes, and I saw the 
depths of her spirit." 
Radiance 
from 
Within 
Square and 
Honest 1170 
Personal Help for Young Women 
This was written by a lawyer: 
"I think I fell in love with June 
because of her charming domes- 
ticity. She was so lovable as she flitted about 
her home, helping her mother with the meals, 
entertaining her younger sister, and being such 
an attractive 'daughter in the home' that I 
began to covet her charm and unselfishness 
and grace for a home of our own. Then in 
addition, she was such an all-round good pal, 
and a genuine good sport. Nothing could 
down her. She was ready to laugh at the 
worst situations." 
A stenographer said: 
"Esther's naiveness is what first 
attracted me. She is like a white 
woodland flower, all purity and fragrance." 
This is a physician's opinion: 
"I want my wife to be a woman 
of big vision. I want her to love 
folks and God so intently that she will be 
lifted above the petty, irritating rounds of 
daily life. There's such a lot to be done in 
the world that we need big-hearted women in 
our homes." 
Charming 
Domesticity 
Purity and 
Fragrance 
Vision and 
Love His Lady 
1171 
From a clerk: 
"Pretty? Not necessarily. But 
good looking, if you can catch the 
distinction. Poise and charm and grace would 
perhaps fit her better. I'm not asking for 
adoration, but I want her to marry me for 
nothing but love. And she must come to me 
fresh and sweet; I don't want the scrap heap 
of other men's affections. Pm still looking 
for her, confident that some day I'll find her." 
Another physician wrote this letter: 
"I had a yardstick once, by which 
I measured all the girls I ever 
knew. It was a prodigious yard- 
stick and covered all the virtues that a fine, 
all-round girl ought to possess. Sometimes the 
girls measured up, and sometimes they fell 
short. So I had to modify the yardstick, for 
I loved none of them. Finally my yardstick 
was simplified to the one big requirement that 
I love her. And when I at last found the girl 
who so wonderfully measured up, I realized 
why we had been drawn to each other from 
all the rest. 
"During the previous years of our lives we 
had been building up our ideals and molding 
our lives according to them,-ideals of love 
Poise, 
Charm 
and Grace 
Ideals of 
Love- 
Service, 
Sacrifice 
and Purity 1172 
Personal Help for Young Women 
and service, of sacrifice and purity. Perhaps 
the other girls fell down on some of these 
ideals, though they appeared to fit the former 
yardstick perfectly. Anyhow, I firmly believe 
it was similarity of ideals, unspoken though 
many of them were, that made us find each 
other. Out of the maze of life we drifted 
together just as surely as a magnet attracts 
steel. We couldn't have missed each other." 
When the last letter had come in, we had 
another fireside hour, and you 'should have 
seen the girls pouring over those letters. They 
were analyzed and criticized and profoundly 
studied, until one girl laughingly remarked: 
"You'd think we were all out after a man, 
wouldn't you"? 
"No," answered another girl, "we're out 
after the girl that a man is after." 
We have her pretty well defined for us in 
these letters, havent' we? And she is not be- 
yond the reach of any girl, provided that girl 
is intelligent, persevering, and has a loving 
heart. 
Do you realize that none of these 
men has required that his ideal 
girl be pretty? She must have the beautiful 
spirit that shines out in her eyes, she must, 
Beauty Not 
Essential His Lady 
1173 
above all else, be a good pal, ready to share 
fortune and disaster with the same serenity, 
she must be untouched by other men, she must 
be helpful and loving in her mother's home, 
she must have the love of little children in 
her heart, she must love him truly, be a woman 
of big vision, and have high ideals of love and 
service, of sacrifice and purity. 
Truly a worthy Lady to ride with the 
Knight of Invincible Strength toward the 
Land of Heart's Desire. Might we not appro- 
priately call this maiden of men's dreams the 
Lady of the Pure Heart? CHAPTER LXXX 
COURTESY OF THE ROAD 
The train was scheduled to arrive at W 
at 12:45 midnight. In the parlor car sat a 
young girl, absorbed in a magazine. She was 
attractive looking, tastefully and inconspicu- 
ously dressed, and utterly oblivious of her sur- 
roundings. The only other occupant of the 
car was a young man in the chair opposite 
her. He had been watching the girl for quite 
a while, hoping to catch her eye, but she 
seemed entirely satisfied with her magazine. 
Her destination was W , as was also his, 
and they were just a little over an hour's ride 
away. He sauntered up and down the car, but 
she paid no heed to him. Finally he seated 
himself in the chair beside her. Still no 
response. Then he reached over and drew the 
magazine from her hands. 
Astonishment shone for an instant in the 
girl's eyes. Then she quietly slipped into an- 
other chair and swung it away from him. In 
an instant he was beside her again. Annoyed, 
she pressed the button that called the porter. 
1174 Curtesy of the Road 
1175 
The young man laughed and said: "That 
won't work." 
And she realized that the porter 
had been tipped off. An ugly situ- 
ation confronted her, so she determined to 
meet it the best she could. He began an 
enthusiastic conversation into which she 
entered with quiet and pleasant dignity. He 
told her all about himself, where he lived, 
where he was going, what he was doing, and 
followed the information with questions con- 
cerning herself. She told him she was engaged 
in Y. W. C. A. work, and was just returning 
from a missionary conference. Quite undis- 
mayed by this information the young man 
went on talking, until the expected happened. 
They had not traveled many miles before he 
had made an ugly proposition. 
White to the lips the girl turned from him, 
determined not to lower herself by a single 
word in reply. But the thought suddenly 
flashed across her mind: "Suppose this were 
a sixteen year-old girl in my place. Would 
she be flattered? Would she be dazed? Could 
she take care of herself"? 
Then she turned on him with all the blaz- 
ing fury of her young womanhood, and before 
An Ugly 
Situation 1176 
Personal Help for Young Women 
the onslaught of her righteous anger, a dull 
red color dyed his face, and he stirred un- 
comfortably. At last her burning words 
roused him to anger, and he began to fling 
back his defense. 
"Women are all alike," he said bitterly. 
"The only reason you turned me down is be- 
cause there's some other man. There isn't any 
double standard. It's all the same, and it's 
man's standard. There aren't any good women 
in the world." 
This he repeated over and over again, until 
the fact penetrated through the girl's anger 
that his bitterness was directed against the very 
statement he was making rather than against 
her, and the fact that he meant it and be- 
lieved it. 
Finally the story came out, the age-old story 
of wrong and reckoning. He had loved a girl 
once, when he was a very young man back in 
a country town. He was the clerk at Martin's 
Dry Goods Emporium, and the girl was the 
yellow-haired cashier. They were engaged to 
be married, but-he found that she had been 
only playing with him, that she wasn't the 
kind of girl he'd dreamed she was, in fact 
she wasn't very much of anything that was Courtesy of the Road 
1177 
worth while. Because he had made her his 
ideal of all that was fair in womanhood, the 
beauty and sacredness of all womanhood 
crashed down about his head that day, and he 
knew in his heart that there were no good 
women. 
Arrived at W , he apologized a little 
sullenly to the girl for what he had said, and 
they went their way, she into one cab, he into 
another. 
On the homeward ride the girl sat 
with her face in her hands, her 
heart burning with shame and 
anger. Not because of what had happened 
to her tonight, but because back in the years 
somewhere another girl, one of her own sex, 
had made this man what he was tonight. How 
many girls, she wondered, had been seared by 
the touch of this man's life since then, or 
rather, by the touch of that other girl's life? 
It was incomprehensible that a thoughtless 
girl should have produced all this wreckage, 
but it was true. A pretty, shallow, flufly- 
haired girl had done this. And she herself, 
and all other women, must share with this girl 
the judgment that had been passed upon her. 
Wreckage 
Result of 
Thought= 
lessness 1178 
Personal Help for Young Women 
Courtesy 
Vital 
Courtesy is an almost forgotten 
word in these days of grinding, 
pressing industry. But oh, what a beautiful 
quality it is. Even the sound of the word has 
a gracious tone, and it seems to carry a fra- 
grance with it. Courtesy is the precious oil 
that lubricates the machinery of life, and 
makes living smooth and without friction in 
all its relationships. But nowhere is it so vital 
as in the relationship of a young man and a 
young woman. Very much is at stake in that 
combination, the possibilities of happiness or 
heartache. And we need gentle old-fashioned 
courtesy, the kind consideration of that boy 
friend of yours, no matter what it may cost 
you. 
In the olden days courtesy was one of the 
first qualities required in a Knight. Part of 
the vow of the Knights of King Arthur's 
Round Table was- 
"To love one maiden only, cleave to her, 
And worship her by years of noble deeds 
Until he won her." 
But the ladies of those olden days gave 
courtesy for courtesy, graciousness for gra- 
ciousness, until they earned that worship of 
years of noble deeds. I wonder if we. girls 
of the enlightened twentieth century can not Courtesy of the Road 
1179 
learn a little of the art of being worthy of that 
kind of worship. 
If the thoughtless little cashier 
back in Martin's Dry Goods Em- 
porium had had the gentle grace of courtesy 
in her heart, there would have been no bitter 
young man on the train bound for W ; the 
quiet girl, traveling alone, would not have 
been accosted, and nobody knows how many 
other girls might have been happier today. 
But the moment's fun meant more to her than 
the young man's heart. The little town was 
dull, and he "showed her a better time" than 
anybody else. Nor was it just his comrade- 
ship she wanted. She became engaged to him, 
and went far along the pathway with him. 
The endearments that were so sacred to him 
were sought by her only for the physical 
pleasure they afforded her, and then when 
other paths offered her more, she gaily went 
her way, leaving him disillusioned and bitter. 
The story would have been quite different 
if she had truly thought she loved him, and 
after her engagement discovered her mistake. 
Sometimes a weak girl who does not know her 
own heart and mind will do that sort of thing. 
To break away even at the last moment is far 
Lit a Fire 
That Burned 
Out a Heart 1180 
Personal Help for Young Women 
better than to enter a loveless marriage, though 
a great deal of heart-breaking damage is done 
by that indecision. 
But the little cashier had revealed to the 
young man just what her motive was, in all 
its crudity, and apparently there were no 
extenuating circumstances. She had thought 
to have a summer of fun, and she had lit a fire 
that burned out a heart. 
"May I see you alone for just a 
minute"? asked a girl at a 
Y. W. C. A. summer conference of one of the 
secretaries. The only place they could find 
to be alone for "just a minute" was the clean- 
clothes closet, but it possessed a clothes ham- 
per to sit on and a window. The secretary 
seated herself on the hamper, the girl on the 
floor, and immediately plunged into her prob- 
lems, as girls at a summer conference will. 
"There's a young man back at home," she 
began. How interesting that sounded. The 
secretary found herself being very glad that 
there was a young man back at home. 
"He comes to see me or takes me to places 
two and three times a week. He does all sorts 
of nice things for me. He's an awfully nice 
Heart to 
Heart Talk Courtesy of the Road 
1181 
man, the president of our Christian Endeavor 
Society, that kind, you know." 
She hesitated a moment, picking at a loose 
reed in the hamper, then went bravely on. 
"I know I care more for him than anybody 
else in the whole world, and I think he cares 
for me. We've been going together for two 
years, but we aren't really engaged. He- 
he's never told me that he cares. But I know 
he does. I can see it in every little act of his. 
What I wanted to ask you about was this." 
Her head went down while she finished her 
story and her face was flushed. 
"We've been doing things lately that we 
never did before. He never used to put his 
arm around me, but now he does, and he kisses 
me, too. Sometimes we sit together on the 
davenport, and his arm is around me most all 
the time-" 
"Oh," interrupted the secretary 
earnestly, "you aren't playing fair 
with him. You say you care more for him 
than anybody else in all the world, but you 
don't know what you're doing to him when 
you allow those liberties. You're hurting 
him, and you're robbing him." 
Not Fair 
with Him 1182 
Personal Help for Young Women 
She took the girl's suddenly trembling 
hands in hers and continued more gently: 
"My dear, you love this friend of yours, I 
know you do. You would endure suffering 
to save him from harm. Here is where your 
trouble lies-you know absolutely nothing 
about the fundamental facts of life concern- 
ing himself and yourself. I am going to leave 
you entirely out of the question now, and, if 
I may, I want to tell you a few physical facts 
about the effects of indiscriminate, so-called 
spooning upon a young man. Can you face 
this revelation in the right spirit, dear, with 
your big love in your heart to help you to be 
reverent and thoughtful? Face these facts 
squarely, accept them at their full value, so 
that they may become a part of your attitude 
in the future, then put them away in your 
mind where they can not be dwelt upon, for 
you want no morbidity in your relation to that 
friend of yours." 
Very reverently the secretary told her some 
of the facts that you and I have discussed 
together; the difference between being a man's 
comrade and his plaything, the need of con- 
ventions. Then she said: 
"Now you and I are going farther along 
the way into a holy place. I always feel when Courtesy of the Road 
1183 
we are touching upon the wonderful revela- 
tions of sex knowledge, that we are drawing 
close to God himself. He knows all things, 
and he wants us to know the truth concerning 
life. The more we learn of His infinitely wise 
way of creating life the nearer we approach 
Him, and the more does He hold us respon- 
sible for our disposition of that knowledge. 
"You know," continued the secretary in her 
straight-forward way, "that when a man puts 
his arm around you, you feel a pleasurable 
thrill. When he kisses you that sensation is 
intensified. The man is feeling it too, and 
because he enjoys it he does it again, and you 
allow the repetition. It means an evening of 
a certain sort of pleasure to you, and when it 
is over, that is the end. You snuggle down 
into bed and drift peacefully off to sleep. 
"And what of the man? It is a positive 
scientific fact that the pleasurable thrill for 
him is often accompanied by the actual loss of 
a certain vital fluid. God has provided a very 
definite use for that vital fluid. It goes to 
make up the substance that feeds a man's 
brain, giving him that particular mental keen- 
ness that makes new enterprises and original 
planning possible. In other words, when not 
c 1184 
Personal Help for Young Women 
expended in the procreation of the race, it is 
used in mental creation. The man who in- 
dulges in spooning loses the very substance 
that he needs to make him mentally keen and 
qualified to stand an equal chance with other 
intelligent men. 
"Do you see what you are doing to that 
young man when you let him hold you in his 
arms without that recognized bond of love 
between you? Do you see how you are hurt- 
ing him, though he may even be unconscious 
of the fact? Perhaps you are giving him a 
certain sort of pleasure while he is with you, 
but he is leaving you for a hard fight with him- 
self to get the upper hand; and even if he 
succeeds he goes to his work the next morning 
a little duller in mind, a little less fine in body, 
less fit to stand the chance of that coveted pro- 
motion, a little less of a man among men 
because he has been with you. 
"But on the other hand, if you 
have turned aside his advances, 
putting the evening upon the beautiful level 
of companionship, you send the man home to 
a night of grateful rest, and he goes to his 
work the following day keenly alert, able to 
meet opportunities as they come to him, a 
Give His 
Manhood 
a Chance Courtesy of the Road 
1185 
more physically and mentally fit man because 
he has been with a girl who cared and who 
knew. 
"There isn't any question which you would 
rather do to the man whose friendship you 
value in the least, is there? You remember 
what we said about the sex force being so 
much stronger in a man than in a woman. 
Then with whom do you think justly lies the 
decision as to whether there will be any spoon- 
ing between you? Oh, my dear, you say you 
love your friend. Then isn't it very evidently 
up to you to keep him at his highest standard, 
to give his manhood a chance? 
"There is another struggle into which spoon- 
ing precipitates a man very often, an over- 
whelming and always an unfair struggle. 
When he leaves your home, the affair is all 
over for you, with him it has just begun. He 
may walk the streets for hours battling with 
the desire which your caresses have aroused 
within him. If he masters himself and lies 
down to sleep, then his imagination may have 
its way with him when complete relaxation 
comes. And what is more inevitable than 
the fact that the girl whom he has just held 
in his arms is the one who goes all the way 1186 
Personal Help for Young Women 
with him in his imaginings? A horrible 
thought but a brutally true one. Oh, my dear, 
your self-respect will battle for you here, as 
well as your sense of justice toward the man." 
Woman "Oh, can it be possible that one 
Holds the ' f 
Weapon thoughtless evening will start all 
this"? asked the girl with startled eyes. "Why 
it seems so unfair that the man should have so 
much of the struggle and the girl should get 
off so easily." 
"I wish I had time to tell you a good many 
of the incidents that I know have occurred," 
the secretary answered. "I am thinking of a 
high school boy I knew. He was particularly 
attracted to a girl who was making clean liv- 
ing hard for him, innocently enough on her 
part, just because her special form of enter- 
taining seemed to be spooning. After an 
evening of that sort of amusement he would 
go home to face the inevitable struggle. Many 
a night he rose from his bed, switched on the 
light, and read the night through rather than 
face his thoughts. Oh, it's unfair, and the 
woman holds the weapon in this case. Think 
of all the effort and plans and prayers that 
have gone into the making of that young man 
for a clean fine life, and a careless girl makes Courtesy of the Road 
1187 
these splendid principles totter just because she 
wants a little fun. 
"How fine it would have been if that girl 
could have come to him in his imaginings, 
typifying all that was pure and lovely in 
womanhood, holding him up to his high 
standards of manhood. Any girl can take her 
choice." 
"Oh, I didn't know, I didn't know," cried 
the girl. "Thank you a thousand times for 
telling me. I'm going back"-she rose to her 
feet, her eyes dark with resolution-"I'm go- 
ing back to play fair with my friend. I don't 
care what it costs. Oh, I'm so glad I know." 
The next guest in the clean clothes- 
closet was a shy young girl in 
bloomers and middy blouse, who 
began earnestly without sitting down. 
"Robert and I are engaged. We're going 
to be married next fall, and I wondered from 
what you said if I ever ought to let him kiss 
me." 
The secretary put her arm around the girl 
before she answered: 
"I should like to congratulate Robert upon 
the dear, conscientious bride that will be his so 
soon. And dear, I want to tell you a very 
Love the 
Most 
Powerful 
Force 1188 
Personal Help for Young Women 
beautiful fact about love. Love is the most 
powerful force in the world, stronger even 
than the sex force of which we have been 
speaking. Your only worry need be that you 
keep those caresses and kisses on the sacred 
plane where they belong. You have kept 
them all pure and fresh for Robert, and now 
you have come into your own. You are ap- 
proaching your Kingdom, and you are tasting 
some of its glories." 
You too, dear Traveler, upon the highway, 
know now, and with your knowledge comes 
your responsibility. You know your Knight 
in his weakness as well as his strength, and you 
know the weapons with which you may help 
him. The courtesy of the road demands a 
sacrifice of you, but for his sake you will be 
glad to pay the price. CHAPTER LXXXI 
CODE OF THE ROAD 
Convention- 
alities 
"I don't see any sense in conven- 
tionalities," declared Margaret, 
flinging her books onto my desk and herself 
into a chair. 
"There's a glorious rumpus at home because 
I went on a wienie roast and there wasn't any 
chaperon, last night. Conventionalities in- 
terfere with everything. I have to send the 
boys home at ten-thirty, and I'm chaperoned 
to death. Do you believe in all this business? 
What would you do if you were I?" 
"I think I would be very thankful I had 
such a wise and careful mother," I replied, 
laughing at her distress. 
"Well, you're on mother's side, and maybe 
I'm wrong," said Margaret, visibly pouting 
at my answer. Then she turned toward me 
with a seriousness that would not be denied. 
"Honestly, what are convention- 
alities for? The Bible doesn't say 
anything about them, does it? And that's our 
Our Rule 
of Conduct 
1189 Personal Help for Young Women 
1190 
rule of conduct. Do you know, if Jesus Christ 
had said one word about conventionalities, I'd 
stake my life on what He said." 
We sat down together after that to talk 
about the Master whom she served, and upon 
whose opinions she was willing to stake her 
life. 
"You're mistaken, Margaret," I began, "in 
thinking that Jesus took no stand upon con- 
ventionalities. It is true that He never made 
them the subject of a discourse or a conver- 
sation. We have to go deeper than that and 
look at His conduct as well as His words, to 
understand His attitude upon the subject. 
"You know, of course, that He had 
the spirit of eternal youth in His 
heart, that He liked merrymaking and the joy 
of friendly gatherings. He was criticized, 
you remember, because he came eating and 
drinking, and was called a wine bibber and a 
glutton. (1) The spirit of brotherliness that 
was displayed on these occasions was one of 
the fundamental attributes of the members of 
His Kingdom. I like to think that He per- 
formed his first miracle that He might pro- 
vide a new means of enjoyment at a wedding 
celebration. (2) Many of His beautiful 
Spirit of 
Eternal 
Youth Code of the Road 
1191 
teachings were given at the table, dining with 
His friends. He loved folks so much He 
could not stay away from them. When He 
withdrew into solitude for awhile, He did it 
that He might find new inspiration and 
strength for the people who needed Him, and 
He always came back to them. (3) So any 
observance of conventionalities on Jesus' part 
was not done because He was ascetic in any 
sense of the word, but rather because He knew 
life and men so well that His actions were the 
spontaneous result of His knowledge. 
"A little book called 'The Social 
Teachings of Jesus,' written by 
Shailer Mathews, has some infor- 
mation on this subject that I would like to 
read to you if I may." 
From my bookshelf I took a worn little 
volume and read the following paragraphs to 
Margaret: 
"It is not to magnify trivialities if attention 
be called to the attitude of Jesus towards the 
conventionalities of life. It is, of course, pos- 
sible that a man should be thoroughly good 
and worthy of respect and yet be totally indif- 
ferent to the requirements of society. Many 
men are today undoubtedly nobly affecting 
Quotations 
from 
Shailer 
Mathews 1192 
Personal Help for Young Women 
the life of their communities through their 
sterling integrity and deep religious feeling 
who are ignorant or careless of conventionali- 
ties. But no cultured man wants a boor as his 
religious teacher any more than he would ac- 
cept a filthy saint as his savior. Even John 
the Baptist was less than the least in the King- 
dom of God (Matt. 11:19). And it is noth- 
ing more than we should have expected when 
we find Jesus careful about those matters 
which indicate the gentleman. Though a poor 
man, and counting clothes as at best but a 
secondary good (John 2:1-12) He seems to 
have been well dressed (Mk. 6:46), and to 
have followed the ordinary dictates of the 
Jewish fashions. His sensitiveness to matters 
of common civility appears in the words 
forced from Him by the rudeness of a host 
who allowed conceit to drive out politeness 
(Matt. 14:23). Indeed it would seem as if 
the fact that Judas should have betrayed Him 
by a kiss added bitterness to the cup He was 
forced to drink. 
"These matters are of course of small im- 
portance as they stand by themselves, but they 
gain in significance when they seem to repre- 
sent an attitude of mind. Conduct is always Code of the Road 
1193 
less hypocritical than language, and in the case 
of Jesus it had the added responsibility of 
serving as an example for His followers. Ac- 
cordingly, it is doubly necessary in His case 
to look for the spirit and ideal of which con- 
duct is the expression." 
Margaret interrupted at this point. 
"Please wait till I get a Bible and 
look up those references," she said. 
"The one about His clothes and the impolite 
host." 
This she did, while we discussed the posi- 
tion of the rabbis in dictating fashion as well 
as religion. They decided upon the styles of 
the garments worn by the Jews, and the order 
in which they should be put on. Jesus even 
wore the prescribed tassels on His outer gar- 
ment. 
"Why He cared about those things, didn't 
He"? Margaret's eyes were thoughtful as she 
closed the Bible. 
"And He knew, of course He knew," she 
continued. "I suppose He would be careful 
about chaperons and ten-thirty calling hours, 
too. I wonder, why?" 
"Perhaps because it makes for happier liv- 
ing in His Kingdom of Friendly Men," I 
Margaret's 
Allegiance 1194 
Personal Help for Young Women 
suggested. "He knows that you may not need 
chaperons and certain calling hours, but that 
if they were not established facts some of your 
weaker sisters might be very much hurt." 
"And I suppose it's the same spirit that 
says, 'If meat cause my brother to offend, I 
will eat no meat while the world stand,' " said 
Margaret. "Well, anyway, He knew." 
What a true Lady of the Pure Heart Mar- 
garet was. Unconsciously she had adopted 
part of the Knight's code as her own: 
"To reverence the King as if He were 
Their conscience, and their conscience as their King." 
She had a King to whom she owed alle- 
giance. It mattered not that His commands 
were hard to carry out. 
"Anyway. He knew." CHAPTER LXXXII 
YOUR RIDING COSTUME 
Your Knight 
Canters By 
Milady, as she journeys upon the 
Great Highway, is clad in a riding 
costume, and it is beautiful or unattractive, 
simple or elaborate, flashing or plain, as the 
case may be. As she rides past the Knights 
that canter along, she is conscious of their ad- 
miring glances. She first flashes upon her 
Knight's consciousness because of her riding 
costume, and he is attracted to the lady who is 
wearing a beautiful costume or an ugly one, 
simple or elaborate, flashing or plain, accord- 
ing to the manner of man he is. 
Therefore, if your Knight's attention is first 
caught by your costume, you will want to put 
much time and thought and energy upon it, 
won't you? 
Does the thought of putting time 
and energy into anything just to 
attract the attention of a man 
sound very bold and brazen to you? But I 
wonder if it isn't girl nature, after all. And 
Attracting 
Opposite 
Sex, Girl 
Nature 
1195 1196 
Personal Help for Young Women 
if it is, why might it not be accepted as a fact, 
faced honestly, and the best conclusions drawn 
from it that are possible? 
Girls are not alone in their desire to attract 
the opposite sex. Flowers have done the same 
thing since the beginning of time. The flashy, 
showy part of a plant that we call the flower 
has but one purpose for existence, and that is 
the attraction of the tiny male germ, which is 
carried to it in the pollen dust and eventually 
unites with the female germ, when a new seed 
is produced. After fertilization is accom- 
plished, the flower drops off, for it has no 
further use. It was the little plant's riding 
costume. 
Perhaps you think this is going to 
be a dissertation on clothes, but 
you are very much mistaken. Clothes are 
merely an indication of your personality. 
There you have it. Your riding costume is 
your personality, that word that represents 
you, and that either attracts or repels a man. 
There are undoubtedly ways to attract men, 
right and wrong, and before we proceed far- 
ther we must understand each other. 
Do you want to attract a man for his pass- 
ing admiration and attention, for "what you 
Clothes 
Index to 
Personality Your Riding Costume 
1197 
can get out of him"? There are certain per- 
sonalities that do that. Or do you want to be 
the sort of girl who has less of that sort of at- 
tention, but always finds her Knight and her 
home? Do you want to attract the kind of 
a man who though lavish perhaps in his gifts 
and devotion for a while, soon tires and passes 
on, or if he does marry you, is a listless, half- 
hearted husband who finds his pleasures apart 
from you? Or do you want to be able to in- 
spire in a man a deep and abiding love that 
grows sweeter and stronger as you meet life 
together? Do you want to attract a man of 
low ideals and cheap tastes? Or do you want 
to be the girl for whom a man of high ideals 
and good taste is looking? 
All right, we are agreed. You want a hus- 
band, not merely an admirer, and he must 
have high ideals and love you devotedly. 
Now, the question is how to attract him rather 
than the other sort. You have chosen the 
harder road, little Traveler. It is beset with 
difficulties all along the way, but when that 
splendid Knight of yours comes riding, you 
will agree with me that it was worth the price. 
In the first place, be attractive. 
That, of course, is the essential 
requisite and it is not beyond any girl of aver- 
Wealth and 
Beauty Not 
Essential 1198 
Personal Help for Young Women 
age ability. You do not need to be pretty; I 
rather think you stand more of a chance if you 
are more distinctive looking than just pretty. 
But you do need to make the most of what you 
have. Back in every man's mind is a picture 
of the girl he wants to marry, and she is al- 
ways radiant with health, vibrant with life 
and energy. Her cheeks are flushed with the 
glow of health, and here eyes are starry. 
Two young men were standing together in 
the corridor of a city postoffice. One of them 
was a confirmed woman hater, the joke of his 
friends because of his well-known avoidance 
of women. While they stood talking, an auto- 
mobile drew up to the curb and a young 
woman sprang out. She came into the corri- 
dor past the men, and they both turned to 
watch her. The wind had tumbled her hair, 
and she wore a middy blouse. But she tripped 
along fairly bubbling over with life. Laugh- 
ter seemed to be hidden in her shining eyes, 
her cheeks were flushed, and her lips half 
parted with the hint of a smile. Every move- 
ment radiated health and splendid well being. 
When she stopped to mail her letter she sug- 
gested a bird poised for flight. Your Riding Costume 
1199 
"Gee," sighed one of the young men, "what 
a girl I" 
"Yes," answered the confirmed woman 
hater enthusiastically, "I mean to know her." 
Watch your health first of all. 
Good health is an attribute that 
can not be affected. It must be genuine to 
count. The very best cosmetic I know for a 
complexion beautifier is a cool plunge or 
shower every morning. The shock of the cool 
water brings the blood tingling to the surface 
of the body, and the dull, inactive skin is given 
fresh nourishment. Far better the nourish- 
ment from within than from without. 
Soft, fluffy hair, well groomed finger nails, 
white teeth, mean care and attention which 
you can give them, if you will. Just build up 
your health, make the most of what you have 
and forget all about artificial means of pro- 
ducing beauty, which never, never can deceive. 
Clothes play a part in your ap- 
pearance, but I wish you could 
know how little they really count. Exquisite 
cleanliness, feminine daintiness, a skill for 
making clothes and fixing over old ones, and 
you are a very fortunate girl. 
Health and 
Complexion 
Indefinable 
Something 
That Wins 1200 
Personal Help for Young Women 
Do you remember the old conundrum: 
"Why is an attractive girl like a spoon in a 
cup of tea?" 
The answer is: "Because she is in-tea- 
resting." 
Perhaps that is the secret. A girl does not 
need to be pretty, nor have lovely clothes, nor 
be blessed with many accomplishments, if 
only she possesses that indefinable something 
called charm. You shy little maidens, come 
out of your corners and practice it. Resolve 
not to be wall flowers any longer. Forget 
yourselves and just be yourselves. You must 
come half way in this business of friendship. 
What matter if you make a few heart-rending 
blunders at first. These men are not your 
Knights and they will do to practice upon. 
And you will discover some wonderful friend- 
ships that in your after life will be counted 
among your most precious possessions. 
"Come out of your cage, come out of your cage, 
And take your soul on a pilgrimage." 
Learn to converse in an interesting way, and 
perhaps of more importance; learn to listen 
as though you cared what the other was say- 
ing. That is an art that shows a deep interest 
in folks behind it. Your Riding Costume 
1201 
In the second place, be natural. I 
am thinking of a lovely girl who wears out 
her boy friends by her incessant sparkle. She 
possesses a good deal of natural wit and uses 
it on every occasion prodigally. Many a 
young person of less brilliancy than she feels 
stupid and slow in her presence, and does not 
care to repeat the experience of an evening 
spent in her company. When she is her own 
natural self she is lovable and charming. I 
wish her boy friends could know her as she 
really is. 
Many a girl is not natural in her opinions 
or views, but, unconsciously perhaps, allows 
them to be influenced by what she believes the 
young man thinks. You probably know a girl 
who believes in woman suffrage when talking 
with women, but never did believe in it when 
talking with men. There is the girl who scoffs 
at church and Sunday-school when she is with 
a young man who does not attend either. She 
is not quite true and the young man knows it. 
In the third place, be a pal. Here 
is where you want to stick closely 
to the comradeship attitude, never the play- 
thing one. If you really want the man to care 
Be Natural 
Be a Pal- 
Not a 
Plaything 1202 
Personal Help for Young Women 
make him keep his hands off of you. Have 
you ever heard this: 
"Isn't it strange that the girl a man cares 
to kiss he doesn't dare to kiss, and the girl a 
man dares to kiss he doesn't care to kiss?" 
A young man and a girl were sitting side 
by side on a rustic bench in the soft moonlight 
shadow of a rose vine. He had known the girl 
for just a few weeks, and as yet had no thought 
of marriage, but this evening he had been 
rather persistent in his determination to put 
his arm around her. Finally she very quietly 
told him her ideals, what the keeping of them 
meant to her, and what she thought friendship 
between a man and a woman ought to be. Be- 
fore she had finished he said abruptly, "Gee, 
I wish you'd quit." 
"Why?" she asked, a little hurt. 
"Because I'll be wanting to marry you in a 
minute," he answered. 
Play with him, discuss with him, enter into 
his deeper life. Offer him sympathy and un- 
derstanding. Be his pal-his comrade. 
Choose your recreation carefully and wisely. 
Instead of so many picture shows and dances, 
at which you do not get to know each other 
better, suggest bacon bats or suppers together Your Riding Costume 
1203 
in the woods over a camp fire after a long 
tramp. Get one or two other couples and a 
chaperon, and try it a few times. You will 
find a splendid companionship springing up 
between you, from which artificiality is gone. 
But don't forget the chaperon. 
Last of all, be deep. Be worth while. Re- 
member that it is the mutual attraction of 
ideals that draws people together in the hap- 
piest relationship. A man needs the deeper 
things in a girl's heart which she can give him 
if she will. He needs her ideals of true wom- 
anliness and manliness. He will scoff a little 
at some of those ideals, but he won't want her 
to. Show him your interest in other people 
and the whole wide world, if you will. If 
you haven't the interest you can acquire it, by 
looking at events from other's points of view, 
and reading all the information you can find 
on people of other lands. Reveal your real 
self to him, not the self you think he would 
like, but the real, sweet, wholesome, radiant 
girl that is you. 
Your riding costume is beautiful, 
and difficult to make, but you can 
piece it together bit by bit. Keep your ideal 
very high, because it is some day going to 
Hold to High 
Ideals 1204 
Personal Help for Young Women 
catch the attention of your real Knight. Then 
all your other friendships will sink into insig- 
nificance, and you will know why you have 
stitched and pieced and toiled so earnestly, 
and you will be glad. CHAPTER LXXXIII 
THE ROAD YOU RIDE TOGETHER 
The Bridle 
Path 
A glorious day dawns in a young 
girl's life when she branches off 
from the main road into the beautiful bridle 
path that wanders away into roseate clouds of 
dreams. By her side rides the conquering 
Knight who has chosen her from all the 
comely throng upon the Great Highway to be 
his Lady in the Land of Heart's Desire. This 
precious life of hers has been entrusted to him 
for better or for worse, and all his happiness 
lies in the hollow of her little white hand. 
She is sure, so very sure, this tender trusting 
bride, that just because John is John all will 
be well in their journey along the road they 
ride together. 
And just because John is John and Mary 
is Mary, they will stumble sometimes or lag 
apart in their journey, they will find long 
weary hills to climb, and narrow rocky ridges 
to cross that will be dangerous just because 
they are riding together. 
1205 1206 
Personal Help for Young Women 
Mary dear, can you hold those dreams fast 
in your heart, in spite of the rocks in the way? 
Are they worth paying a price for to make 
them come true? You can reach the Land of 
Heart's Desire if you will. 
The home of every girl's dreams is 
a home that is filled to overflowing 
with happiness. Some of the dreams differ 
in the non-essentials,-the furnishings, the lo- 
cation, the management, the number of chil- 
dren, but always there is abundant love. I 
wonder if every girl doesn't want expressed 
love, love that shows in every little action, un- 
ashamed. You want the tender pet name to 
slip from his tongue easily, the gentle pat on 
your arm in passing, the accustomed slipping 
of his arm about you when you are watching 
the sunset together. 
You are willing to pay any price to keep 
him just like that, aren't you? No sacrifice 
is too great, no service too trivial, no task too 
hard to keep the glow of love beautiful and 
bright in your home. So once more we are 
going to talk frankly and fearlessly together, 
keeping sweet and reverent in the face of life's 
indisputable facts. 
Home of 
Her Dreams The Road You Ride Together 
1207 
One of the least discussed of all the issues 
that makes for disillusionment and unhappi- 
ness after marriage is undue familiarity, and 
that is what we will talk about together. 
Why is it so hard, we are tempted to ask 
again and again, for a young bride to keep her 
individuality and her self-respect? Once lost 
it is next to impossible to regain. If she could 
just know that the first few weeks of her new 
life are going to count for all her future happi- 
ness, I wonder if she wouldn't make the fight 
and hold on to her self-respect, both in her 
own eyes and those of the man she loves. If, 
through the days of friendship with the man, 
and the engagement that has followed, she has 
been the Lady of the Pure Heart, her fight 
will not be so hard. It will be a struggle to 
hold the ground she already has rather than to 
regain lost territory. 
There are weapons that she can use in this 
fight, a fight not against her husband but with 
him against the lowering of both their ideals. 
She is standing side by side now with the 
Knight of Invincible Strength, behind them 
both the happy home of their dreams; she is 
in the lists with him, for this dream belongs to 
both of them. 1208 
Personal Help for Young Women 
The First 
Requisite 
The right mental attitude that each 
may have for the other is the first 
requisite. Do you not see now, dear girl, 
why that long struggle to keep sweet and fine 
and true in your relations with your boy 
friends throughout your girlhood was neces- 
sary? You have attained the standard of the 
Lady of the Pure Heart, and you have the 
absolute respect and utter confidence of the 
man you have married. Perhaps you do not 
know the value of that. I wish I could make 
you see it. He respects your judgment, he 
regards you as an individual with rights of 
your own. You are a co-partner with him, to 
be admired and respected as well as petted 
and adored. He will never trespass upon 
your individuality now unless you pave the 
way for him to do so. The Knight of In- 
vincible Strength desires happiness for you 
above all things else. You must help him in 
his struggle to give it to you, for he will de- 
pend upon your interpretation of happiness, 
and his physical make-up may blind him. You 
are the one of clear vision here, and you must 
help him to the best for himself and you. If 
he knows that your heart and mind are pure 
and clean, he will want to help you keep them The Road You Ride Together 
1209 
so, for you are his wife, and some day you 
will be the mother of his babies. But if he 
is not sure about the whiteness of your 
thoughts, would it not be the most natural 
thing in the world for him not to care? 
The fundamental starting point, you see, 
is his opinion of you. Oh, how glad you will 
always be, in this radiant home of yours, that 
the man you love can stake his honor on the 
purity of your heart and life. Once sure of 
that, these suggestions that follow are, after all, 
relatively unimportant, since you have the 
fundamental happiness as your own. 
But there are ways and means that 
would help in the struggle that 
might perhaps be of value to you as you enter 
upon this untried path. One of these is the 
furnishings of your bedroom. I believe the 
time is coming when all thoughtful people 
will sleep in single beds. It is the only fair 
thing to do, don't you think so? And after 
all, many a bride will choose to furnish her 
room with twin beds because of their attrac- 
tive appearance. This is one of the times 
when the right thing to do happens to be the 
prettiest, too. So you will be doing a beautiful 
thing in two senses of the word. But better 
Things 
That Help 1210 
Personal Help for Young Women 
than the pretty room will be the keeping of 
your ideals of each other as high as they were 
in the beginning. 
You can fight off undue familiar- 
ity from your little home by other 
methods. The embraces and the kisses that 
pass between you both are sacred expressions 
of a deep and precious relationship. It is 
nothing short of tragedy to find them growing 
wearisome and perfunctory. Keep them on 
the high and beautiful level where you want 
your ideals to be. You want your kiss to be 
a benediction to the man you love as he goes 
out into the world to fight for you, and you 
want his kiss to thrill you anew every time 
you receive it. Keep them full of meaning 
by the right usage of them. 
Does this sound as though you 
were holding back something from 
the man into whose keeping you gave your 
heart and hand, because you loved him, and 
because you felt that his love would be all 
wise? Oh no, not that. With your perfect 
love came complete surrender, for you know 
that he is worthy of your faith. But you want 
to play fair with him. You must give that 
Other 
Methods 
Playing 
Fair with 
Him The Road You Ride Together 
1211 
love and that wisdom of his a chance, and you 
will have no reason to lose your faith in him. 
The responsibility is not all his; part of it must 
be borne by you. You are in the lists together, 
and you must do your share. The man can not 
justly be blamed if he goes down without your 
co-operation. If you love him, you will stand 
by him. 
But this is a plea for his rights as 
well as yours, for only by unselfish 
co-operation can the atmosphere of your home 
be what you want it to be. Man is polyga- 
mous by nature, woman monogamous. You 
will have to come to him with consideration 
and understanding, as he will surely come to 
you. You have won his respect and confi- 
dence, you have done all you can in a material 
sense to make the struggle easy for him, you 
have kept your embraces and kisses sacred, 
now, if he is a true Knight, you can trust him 
and give him unselfish consideration. 
You are drawing very close to the Land of 
Heart's Desire in this beautiful ride of yours. 
You are beginning to taste life in all its full- 
ness, and to realize that God can draw near in 
the pure love of a man and a woman, for each 
other. 
Plea for 
Co-opera- 
tion CHAPTER LXXXIV 
FORBIDDEN BYPATHS 
Ginger 
Balks 
One day last summer I was canter- 
ing along a country road on Gin- 
ger, a frisky brown horse, who seemed to en- 
joy the motion as much as I. There was no 
difficulty about urging him on. I had all I 
could do to hold him down to a respectable 
pace. But when we came upon an inviting 
side road and I turned him into it, he stopped 
like a shot, and I nearly catapulted over his 
head. 
All my inducements failed to move him. 
This was surprising because Ginger was not 
a balky horse. I even climbed from the saddle 
and tugged on the bridle. When I tried a 
switch he jumped around a good deal, but all 
in one spot. 
Finally, in not the very best humor, I'm 
afraid, I let him have his way, and we can- 
tered along in the same direction in which we 
had been going. 
1212 Forbidden Bypaths 
1213 
Two Days 
Later 
Two days later another rider at- 
tempted the same road, and, 
rounding the first bend, came abruptly upon 
a pretty bad washout across the road. The 
horse fell and the rider was thrown, suffering 
a broken arm and a good many bruises. To 
my chagrin I discovered also that there was 
a signpost at the cross roads with the words: 
"Detour-bad washout." 
Whether Ginger had been over the road be- 
fore and knew about the washout, or whether 
he was wise enough to read the signpost, I 
never knew. But he probably saved us both 
from disaster. 
How fortunate we would all be if we could 
have a Ginger under us when we come upon 
the numerous bypaths on the road of life, and 
read the signpost "Forbidden." Because 
sometimes that very word is like a red flag 
in our faces, and makes us long to canter 
around that enticing bend in the road, and 
try the washout for ourselves. 
We need a pretty stubborn Ginger then, one 
that will outbalk our wildest desires and temp- 
tations. And his name is not Ginger, but Sane 
Judgment. 1214 
Personal Help for Young Women 
Forbidden 
Bypaths 
Most 
Desired 
I wanted to go down the forbid- 
den bypath more than any other 
spot in the whole country side that 
morning, and the rest of the scenery looked 
rather flat to me as I rode home. Isn't that 
always the way with those paths? 
Take, for instance, the one of smoking cigar- 
ettes. Doesn't the young woman who holds 
her cigarette daintily between her fingers and 
puffs misty clouds of smoke, look awfully 
clever and up-to-date? And doesn't the rest 
of the scenery, you included, seem rather flat? 
And just as desire is heading you into that 
bypath, Sane Judgment plants his forefeet in 
front of him and balks. You are reminded 
that cigarette smoking is bad for the mucous 
lining of your throat and lungs. That the 
constant irritation makes you very susceptible 
to cold, coughs, bronchitis, and pneumonia. 
You remember that women are sent to sani- 
tariums for the long, slow process of building 
up their shattered nerves because of cigarette 
smoking. You think of the young women you 
know, who, though clever with their cigar- 
ettes, are irritable and petulant at home, spoil- 
ing the golden hours from dawn to sunset in 
their Land of Heart's Desire for a fad, as Forbidden Bypaths 
1215 
weakness. And somehow you can not think 
of free, glorious girlhood in connection with 
chains, the chains that are forged by habit. 
Above all things else you want freedom of 
thought, freedom of action. 
So you mount Sane Judgment again, and 
ride along the Highway of Life, with a back- 
ward glance perhaps, but free. You are in- 
finitely more worthy, more beautiful, more 
truly feminine, for that Knight who is riding 
the same highway, looking for you. 
There is another alluring bypath 
at which you stop, and the signpost 
is so in the shadow that it is hard for you to 
see whether it is forbidden or not, unless the 
sunshine of clear thinking is full upon it. It 
is the pathway of unrestricted automobile rid- 
ing. 
This art of automobile riding is so'very 
new, after all, as the history of the world goes. 
If Henry Van Loon were drawing lines to 
represent the length of time that all other 
vehicles were used, from the first crude hand 
cart up to the last carriage, he would draw 
a line clear across the page like this: 
Unrestricted 
Auto Riding 1216 
Personal Help for Young Women 
And he would represent the age of the auto- 
mobile like this: 
Your generation is the first one that can not 
remember the thrilling sight of his or her first 
automobile. When I was teaching forty 
squirming youngsters in a country school, the 
first car that had ever come into that isolated 
district in the horseshoe bend of the Missouri 
river passed by, and I dismissed the children 
right in the middle of the sixth grade hygiene 
class to let them see the noisy, smelly piece 
of machinery go by. Think of letting out 
school now every time a car passed by! We 
would have to hold perpetual session on the 
school grounds, wouldn't we? 
There is hardly a story in history so fasci- 
nating as that of the invention of industrial 
machinery and the consequent changes that 
came upon the world. The poor old world 
isn't adjusted to them yet. She's full of dis- 
contented, jobless men, grumbling laborers, 
and unsympathetic capitalists as a conse- 
quence. Adjustments are always slow and 
usually painful. 
Just so mankind has to become adjusted to 
the use of the automobile. One generation we Forbidden Bypaths 
1217 
didn't have them; the next generation we had 
a few; and the next generation they had us. 
They took us so by surprise that we don't know 
how to use them yet. Your generation is go- 
ing to have to solve the problem. Are you 
going to be among those who drift so easily, 
following the line of least resistance? Or 
is there a bit of pioneer blood in you, that 
fresh, free blood that, as it flows in your veins, 
makes you look beyond the common herd 
about you, makes you see visions and dream 
dreams? 
Oh, you who dream; God reaches 
out and touches you, I think. He 
gives you the gift of Sane Judgment along 
with your dreaming. For none can be so sane 
as she who dreams. 
You know the rules of the automobile game. 
Every "Rider of the Road" does. Why not 
play them fairly? There is that one of never 
riding with a man you do not know: I can 
not believe that that would even occur to you. 
It is cheap and common and vulgar, and not 
for a girl with the dreams that are in your 
eyes. 
But some day you may face the temptation 
of late riding with a man you know only 
Rules of 
the Road 1218 
Personal Help for Young Women 
slightly. Let me ask you something very 
earnestly. Do you think he is going to ask 
you to ride late with him alone if he holds 
you in the regard in which you wish to be held 
by all men? Would he ask his "Comrade of 
the Road" to do that in the first days of get- 
ting acquainted? 
Hold on to that first line of defense. If you 
hope that he will turn out to be your real 
Knight, then show him how worthwhile you 
are. As you value yourself, so he will value 
you. Are you afraid you will be a "wet 
blanket"? You needn't be. When he asks 
you, you might say: 
"Oh, I'd love to go. Let's ask Jennie and 
Jack, and I'm sure mother will be glad to 
come, too."-Jennie's mother, as the case 
might be. 
If he grumbles at that and says he wants 
you to himself, say: 
"It's too pretty a night to keep all to our- 
selves. I'll go and telephone." 
A gentleman would respect your wishes by 
this time, and if he still persists, he is showing 
his true colors. Then, of course, you will re- 
fuse. 
If he is angry and doesn't come back, you 
will know he wanted a plaything and not a Forbidden Bypaths 
1219 
comrade. And you will be glad that you have 
escaped the humiliating position that would 
have been yours alone with him in his car. 
Your first line of defense will still hold fast, 
and the Citadel of Pure Womanhood will be 
unassailed. How infinitely well worth the 
price it is. 
There are other bypaths at which 
you will pause. Those parties 
held far into the morning hours, parties not 
rightly chaperoned, parties where there is 
drinking. You know them, and you know 
when they are marked "Forbidden," though 
you may not always know the reason why. 
You can have your choice in your attitude 
toward all these paths. The decision is really 
in your hands, after all, not your mother's or 
your father's or any of those who love you 
and would give much for your happiness. You 
can go with the crowd, following first one 
path and then another. Every time I see a 
bunch of girls doing that I always think of 
the story of an Arkansas farmer who had lost 
his voice. He was leaning over a fence watch- 
ing some hogs that were acting very queer. A 
stranger, passing along the road, stopped be- 
side the farmer to watch them, too. The hogs 
would rush madly from the woodlot across 
Other 
Bypaths 1220 
Personal Help for Young Women 
the road into the woodlot where the two men 
stood, look around in a bewildered way, and 
then rush back again. In a few moments 
they would come pell-mell across the road 
again, and then dash back. 
"What's the matter with those hogs, any- 
how?" inquired the stranger. 
"Wall, ye see, it's this way," the farmer re- 
plied in a husky whisper. "Ever since I lost 
my voice I been calling them hogs at feeding 
time by tapping on this here fence with a 
stick. And now the woodpeckers has got them 
hogs plumb crazy." 
How easy it is to follow the crowd, 
even when they seem "plumb 
crazy," yielding to the beck and call of every 
desire. And how little that invaluable life of 
yours will count. 
Wouldn't you rather stand out a bit from 
the crowd? It can't be done at a snap of the 
fingers, you know. One has to pay a price for 
that. You give clear thinking, right living, 
adherence to high ideals, and you win- 
leadership Joan of Arc did that. She 
dreamed, and she dared, and she won leader- 
ship. Now she stands out before all the world 
as the luminous figure of immortal woman- 
hood. 
Easy to 
Follow the 
Crowd CHAPTER LXXXV 
THEY WHO GIRD US FOR JOURNEYING 
"Once there was a fairy whose 
name was Good Luck. She was 
known and loved all over the world because 
she carried happiness to every one. This 
happiness she carried in an ugly black box, 
and though it could only hold a tiny bit, it was 
always full. Now Good Luck had to be very 
careful of her gift, for if she lost happiness, 
the world would be sad. 
"One night she was very tired. It was dark, 
and not a star could be seen. So Good Luck 
had to hunt a place to hide her treasure. She 
thought perhaps the trees would help her, so 
she asked a pine tree to hold it while she slept. 
But he answered: 'What, that ugly little box! 
No, indeed. I have too many pretty cones to 
hold.' 
"The tired little fairy hurried on until she 
came to a fir whom she asked to hold her 
precious gift. But the fir was too busy, and 
would not bother with it. 
Your 
Quest for 
Happiness 
1221 1222 
Personal Help for Young Women 
"Thus each tree gave some excuse. Poor 
Good Luck was about to cry when she spied a 
tree whose branches drooped down to the 
ground. 'Will you hold my box, little tree?' 
she cried. 
" 'My branches bend low,' sighed the little 
tree sadly, 'and I am too ugly to be of much 
use. But I will watch it. Lay it near my 
trunk.' 
"Early the next morning Good Luck awoke, 
and opening her box she sprinkled a tiny bit 
on the tree. Then she thanked the kind tree 
and flew away. Later the sun was surprised 
to find the bent tree straight and its branches 
reaching up to the skies. 
"Now that night a little brown bird came 
to the branches of that tree. She told him of 
Good Luck and her box; but she made a mis- 
take and told him it was golden, and you know 
it was black. This little bird was ugly, and 
the other birds made fun of him. Usually he 
was too busy helping others to think of him- 
self, but this night he determined to find Good 
Luck, and ask her to give him beautiful plum- 
age like the other birds. So he started out. 
One day when he was flying over a brook, he 
saw a fairy caught in a spider's web. Quickly They Who Gird Us for Journeying 
1223 
cutting the threads he put her on his back and 
carried her away. After putting her down he 
saw she carried a small black box. So he 
asked her where he could find Good Luck and 
her golden box. 
" 'I am Good Luck, and this is the Box of 
Happiness. Happiness isn't always in golden 
boxes.' 
"The little bird flew to the brook to see the 
box, but instead he saw a beautiful bluebird. 
And that is how the bluebird got his color, and 
why he is such a happy little bird."* 
"Happiness isn't always in golden boxes," 
wise little fairy, and happy the bluebird that 
discovers it. How busy we most of us are, 
looking for those golden boxes. 
Do you sometimes find it hard to 
be the daughter that you want to 
be in your home? Perhaps that 
home of yours is anything but a golden box. 
The furniture may be worn and shabby; per- 
haps Johnny yanks the shades up when you 
prefer them halfway down; probably Bob has 
dreadful table manners and makes smacking 
noises with his lips when he eats; your father 
may be a silent man who hasn't much respect 
Hard to be 
the Girl 
You Want 
to be 
* "Worthwhile Stories for Everyday," by Lawton B. Evans. 1224 
Personal Help for Young Women 
for your opinions; and your mother may seem 
utterly oblivious to the fact that you are almost 
grown. 
Did you ever stop to think that your mother 
is girding you for that long journey ahead, 
when you may be far from her, or she may be 
forever away from you and can no longer 
help? When she seems to be almost too much 
interested in your affairs, she is so eagerly look- 
ing ahead, trying to fit you for the experiences 
that will some day be yours, and of which she 
has known so many; wistfully anxious to put 
into your hands the little black box of happi- 
ness, from which perhaps you are turning 
away, looking for your golden ones. 
Oh, girls, reach out your hands 
and take that greatest gift from 
her. When she insists upon your cooking 
those potatoes just right, when she sends you 
back to sweep that room over again or smooth 
the beds into better shape, when she tries so 
hard to train you out of selfishness, can you 
remember, impatient though you may be at 
the time, that she is making your future hap- 
piness for you? 
It is hard to think of that Knight of yours 
in connection with burned potatoes and an 
Making 
Your Future 
Happiness They Who Gird Us for Journeying 
1225 
unswept room. But he eats and lives as other 
men do, and he'll get woefully cross over 
poorly-prepared food and a poorly-managed 
home. When he finds that this wonderful lady 
of his can't keep her part of the bargain, there 
will be quarrels, and some of that priceless 
confidence in each other will be gone. 
The little bluebird was looking for a golden 
box, just as you perhaps are doing, and he 
found his happiness through service. Do you 
know of any richer field of service than your 
own home, or one that brings such large 
returns? 
I know a young girl who came 
home from college last year, and 
made her home a bit of the Kingdom of 
Heaven for her mother. She flew about the 
old beloved place, eager and glad to help with 
the household tasks. She did a little of the 
staying home with the children while her 
mother got out a bit more, and she showed 
such genuine pleasure at her mother's going, 
that the joy of that outing was immeasurably 
increased. She insisted that it was her 
mother's turn to get a few clothes, and when 
they were purchased she rejoiced over them 
without even a ghost of a wistful glance to 
Girl I 
Knew 1226 
Personal Help for Young Women 
spoil her mother's enjoyment of them. She 
discussed her father's favorite topics of con- 
versation with him, and tried hard not to ap- 
pear opinionated; she inaugurated a game at 
the table whereby the children's table man- 
ners were greatly improved. 
Oh, she was bringing joy and content to that 
home, but she was doing infinitely more for 
herself. Life has a way of giving us com- 
pound interest on our deeds. She was pack- 
ing her little black box of happiness so full 
for the future that some day the lid is going 
to pop open and the golden happiness will 
spill over the edges, and there, after all, she'll 
have a golden box. 
These wise, tender, sometimes impatient 
mothers of yours! How strong they want to 
make you for the long road. Your Knights 
will have to give you a wonderful love to 
equal theirs. 
"Shall I not take care of all I think, 
Yea, even of wretched meat and drink, 
If I be dear, 
If I be dear to someone else"? CHAPTER LXXXVI 
THE LAND OF HEART'S DESIRE 
Once upon a time, a long time ago, 
a little girl lived in a big garden 
all by herself. A high stone wall enclosed the 
garden, but there was a big gate that let the 
little girl out into the world and let the world 
in to her. The garden wasn't a very pretty 
place in which to live. It was full of stones 
and weeds and briars and scraggly trees. But 
the little girl was used to it, so she didn't mind 
it very much, and played contentedly around 
among the rocks. 
One day, as she lay asleep in the sunshine, 
a beautiful fairy appeared to the little girl, 
and whispered a wonderful message in her 
ear. And this was what she whispered: 
"Little girl, many, many people are going 
to visit you in your garden, but some day the 
most precious guest in all the world will be 
yours." 
That Was all. The fairy was gone, and the 
little girl jumped to her feet, all athrill with 
The Fairy's 
Secret 
1227 1228 
Personal Help for Young Women 
the glad message. But she stopped in dismay. 
How could the most precious guest in all the 
world come to a garden like hers? For the 
first time in her life the little girl really saw 
the rocks and weeds and briars, and her heart 
sank within her. But the fairy had said that 
the guest was coming, so the dauntless little 
girl began the long task of getting the garden 
ready for that coming. 
Long, long days she worked, tug- 
ging at the great rocks and rolling 
them away; digging out the clay and sand, 
and carrying rich soil to take its place; weed- 
ing and weeding and weeding out the great 
weeds and the little weeds; cutting away the 
briars and trimming the trees and bushes. 
Then followed the hard and the lovely work 
of planting new trees and shrubs, burying 
bulbs and seeds, and tenderly caring for the 
flowers that began to cover her garden with a 
riot of bloom; training green vines about 
jagged boulders or ugly stumps; arranging 
bubbling fountains and wandering streams. 
Oh, it took years and years to do all this, and 
our little girl had grown into a young woman 
while she worked in her garden, which was 
growing more beautiful every day. Many, 
Cultivation 
of Heart's 
Garden The Land of Hearts Desire 
1229 
many people came to visit her as she worked. 
Some brought their tools with them and 
helped her at her tasks, singing along with 
her. Some dragged the rocks back with them 
through the gate, or scattered weeds in the 
fertile soil. Others carried beautiful flowers 
and rare foliage, and tucked them away in the 
warm earth of her garden. 
But none of them stayed to live 
with her, because nobody had the 
key to the garden gate. Sometimes the girl 
was lonely in her work, longing for perfect 
companionship. And then one day perfect 
companionship came to her. A Knight, rid- 
ing by on his charger, chanced to glance over 
the garden wall, and suddenly drew reign, 
attracted by the beauty of the scene within. 
The garden was so lovely that he could not 
pass it by, but turned in at the gate. His was 
the master hand, for he held the key of love. 
Radiant joy was born in the heart of the 
girl that day, and together the Knight and the 
girl laughed and sang and played and worked 
in the garden, waiting and watching together 
for the coming of the most precious guest in 
all the world. 
The 
Elemental 
Longing 1230 
Personal Help for Young Women 
Then one glorious day the sum- 
mons came. They ran eagerly into 
the garden and found it filled with a wonder- 
ful radiance. In the midst stood the fairy, 
with outstretched arms, and in her arms lay 
the most precious guest in all the world-a 
little human bit of babyhood. 
When the fairy left them in the hush and 
beauty of the lovely garden, they were both 
together, the Knight bending over the girl, 
and in her arms, close to her happy heart, lay 
the most precious guest in all the world. 
Some day you and that wonderful 
Knight of yours will bend to- 
gether over your most precious guest in all the 
world. Oh, dear girl, life can hold no more 
joy for you than just that momentfull. With 
tender eyes your Knight will watch you with 
his baby in your arms, and will love you as he 
never dreamed of loving you before. There 
is magic in the combination of mother and 
baby that draws a man on from glory to glory. 
I wonder if you will know how rich you 
are. Home and lover and child all yours. 
Will you be worthy of that hour 
when it comes? That question is 
not an easy one for you to answer now. It 
Happiness 
Perfected 
You and 
Yours 
Will You 
be Worthy? The Land of Hearts Desire 
1231 
involves too much. It means that the Lady 
must be ready for her Knight and the garden 
must be ready for its guest. The Knight is 
not the only one who faces battles. His Lady 
struggles, too, and being ready for him when 
he comes means a long succession of hard-won 
battles behind her. Every temptation faced 
squarely and thrust aside; being the comrade 
of boys and not their plaything; keeping her 
mind clean and free from wrong imaginings; 
holding all the first endearments for the one 
man; keeping her ideals of manhood very high 
so that a false Knight may not take his place; 
watching her hands, her lips, her mind, her 
heart, so that they may be pure and sweet for 
him. 
Having the garden ready for the guest 
means daily struggle and striving, too. Think 
of the stones of anger and the weeds of ill 
temper that need to be carted away. And that 
mean weed of selfishness, thinking of yourself 
first, how deep-rooted and persistent it is, in 
spite of your best efforts to get rid of it. Envy 
of Isabell's pretty clothes and jealousy of 
Harriet's popularity; irritability at home; un- 
willingness to assume responsibility with your 
younger brothers and sisters; all these traits 
must be weeded out. Day by day the patient 1232 
Personal Help for Young Women 
gardener must cultivate the flowers of loving 
service for others, consideration of loved ones 
at home, thinking of others before one's self, 
an eager desire to share all that life has given 
you, and lofty aspirations. 
Then, dear girl, a very important 
factor is the open sky above your 
garden. Let the sunshine of God into your 
heart or the flowers will die and the weeds will 
flourish. Oh, you need the warmth and light 
of His love to make you ready for the rich- 
ness of life. 
You are face to face with a big task and a 
wonderful opportunity. It is hard, harder 
than you think, perhaps. But American girl- 
hood is worthy of a mighty challenge. You 
would be ashamed to take the easy way when 
the hard road is right. 
Some day your Knight will come 
riding. His outstretched hands 
will be full of riches for you, for he will offer 
you a three-fold gift-home, wifehood, 
motherhood. Oh, be ready for him that he 
may not pass you by, for on his shield is bla- 
zoned the sign of the Clean Hands, the Un- 
tainted Lips, the Unsoiled Mind, and the 
Unstained Heart. Will you be worthy of his 
offering? 
God's Love 
Needed 
Three=fold 
Gift INDEX 
A 
Abortion, 419; is murder, 
421; unnatural act, 422. 
Adenoids, 649. 
Adolescence, 833. 
Age, barbarous, 175. 
Ampulla, 850. 
Amusements, unsupervised, 
106; for girls, 789. 
Apparatus, for climbing, 162. 
Authority, and Obedience, 
139. 
Bronchitis, 655. 
Business, the human touch 
in, 277. 
Business Virtues, parents 
should exalt, 275. 
c 
Calyx, 5'57. 
Chancroid, 989. 
Change of Life, in man, 978. 
Character, molding of, 97, 
724; the building of, 878; 
recognized, 1158; qualities 
that count, 1160; strength 
of, 11164; qualities of that 
attract, 1166. 
Charity, between husband 
and wife, 284; conditions 
demand, 292. 
Child, is he responsible, 110; 
is standard, 248; the well 
born, 1104; and his ances- 
tors, 1105; a healthy, 1107; 
of intemperate parents, 
1112. 
Child Birth, to calculate 
time, legitimate, 355; pre- 
mature, 358; uses of pain 
in, 352; use of anesthetics, 
372; twilight sleep, 373; 
caring for child, attention 
to mother, 388; dressing 
the navel, 391; nursing, 
392; after pains, 394: 
flooding, 395; childbed 
fever, 399. 
Childhood Desires, repres- 
sion of, 240. 
B 
Baby, development of, 611; 
weaning of, 61'7; sleep, 620; 
medicines to induce sleep, 
626; food for, 627. 
Baby Swing, 164. 
Bed-wetting, 666. 
Black Sheep, 152. 
Blindness, cause of, 519. 
Blood, will tell, 11119. 
Books, good and bad, 502; 
obscene, 516. 
Boy, the questioning, 56; 
the reticent, 143; and 
machinery, 208; should be 
taught to know girls, 226; 
of ten, 468; the changing, 
701. 
Boyhood, first period of, 
833. 
Boys, make men, 695; train- 
ing must begin while 
young, 698; weak boys 
make weak men, 708. 
Bridle Path, 1'205. 
1233 1234 
Index 
Children, like plastic clay, 
95; observe other, 192; 
care taken for, 207; care 
of, 392; moral training, 
463; mother natural 
teacher of, 464; the ele- 
mental longing for, 1229. 
Cholera Infantum, 661. 
Chum, choice of, 749; why a 
girl desires, 750; good and 
bad, 771. 
Circumcision, 669, 713. 
Cleanliness, need of, 742. 
Climacteric Period, change 
of life in woman, 449; 
change in man, 449; Doc- 
tor Sperry's testimony, 
453. 
Climbing, apparatus for, 
162. 
Clothes, index to, 1139. 
Community, standards, 109. 
Companions, choice of, 222. 
Conception, season for, 133; 
nature of, 334; how takes 
place, 335. 
Confinement, preparation 
for, 376; dressings for bed, 
377; signs of approaching 
labor, 382. 
Constipation, during in- 
fancy, 657. 
Consummation of Marriage, 
its signification, 304; wise 
restraint, 304; the bridal 
chamber, 305; obstacles 
to, 308. 
Continence, 884; reasons for, 
886, 890. 
Conventionalities, 1189. 
Conversation, household, 173. 
Convulsions, 642. 
Co-operation, the key, 123; 
reversal of the order in, 
124; in trial and triumph, 
135; can be overdone, 136. 
Corolla, 557. 
Cowper's Glands, 852; func- 
tion of, 855. 
Creative Idea, 156. 
Croup, 651. 
D 
Dancing, 793, 916, 932. 
Dawning, of womanhood, 
736. 
Debility, as to sex powers, 
313. 
Deception, of child in re- 
gard to sex, 492; the har- 
vest result of, 510. 
Diarrhea, in infants, 637 and 
659. 
Diphtheria, 647. 
Diseases, peculiar to child- 
hood, 645, 680. 
Dreams, making them come 
true, 727. 
Dress, 779. 
Duties, division of, 130. 
Dysentery, among children, 
664. 
E 
Early Ambition, the blight 
of, 244. 
Earn, learning to, 246. 
Eczema, 679. 
Eggs, of fish, 572. 
Emissions, 983; harmful, 
974. 
Engagements, 879. 
Environment, and sex, 501. 
Eunuch, 861. 
Excess, danger of, nature 
of, 331. 
Exercise, during pregnancy, 
367. 
F 
Fallen Women, 905. 
Family, and the clan, Iil7. 
Farm Training, requires, 
267. Index 
1235 
Father, in the equation, 91; 
and the dollar, 94; sons 
natural teacher, 477; and 
boy after ten, 528. 
Fatherhood, importance of, 
477. 
Feticide, 421. 
Flirtations, 282. 
Food, production of, 210; 
for infant, 627; for child 
after weaning, 636. 
Frenulum, 846. 
995; infection of wives, 
995; treatment for, 997; 
and marriage, 999. 
Grit, 726. 
Group Interest, in play- 
things, 161. 
H 
Happiness, the highway to, 
1Oo9; your quest for, 1221; 
making your future, 1224; 
perfected, 1230. 
Health, 291. 
Heredity, definition of two 
ideas, 424; and malforma- 
tion, 433; inebriety, 435t; 
law of inheritance, and 
consumption, 443; and in- 
sanity, 444, 912. 
Heritage, a priceless, 98. 
Home, first, 39; of yester- 
day, 39; of today, 40; 
modern society and, 48; 
golden rule in, 49; reli- 
gious instruction in, 51; 
environment in, 60, 97; 
making it a hallowed spot, 
71; reformation in, 83; a 
heaven-born instinct, 113; 
indestructible, 114; and 
war, 118; slow evolution 
in development, 119; not 
to abandon, 183; picture 
of, 295; and happiness, 
1076; of her dreams, 1206; 
plea for co-operation in, 
1212. 
Honor, 286. 
Household, pleasures, 291. 
Human Nature, demands 
respect, 214. 
Husband, and Lover, 288; 
vital questions for, 293; 
advice to, 294; nobody but, 
297; fails, 300; facts for, 
888; playing fair with him, 
1210. 
G 
Genius, early, 193; can be 
created, 196; and persist- 
ence, 198. 
Girl, who wins, 809; with a 
vision, 813; you want to 
be, 1223. 
Girlhood, comes but once, 
756. 
Girls, the price they pay, 
81; the reticent, 143; and 
scouting, 1811; may win 
favor, 204; should be 
taught to know boys, 225; 
coming to their aim, 270; 
of ten, 468; instruction 
during pregnancy, 469; 
mother should be com- 
panion, 470; fall because 
of ignorance, 508; dawn- 
ing of womanhood, 736; 
hygienic advice to, 738; 
who flirts, 755; social na- 
ture, 7(69; the well bred, 
778; properly dressed, 
779; mistakes of some, 
789. 
Giving, learning to, 2156. 
Glans, 860. 
Goal, a higher, 823. 
Gonorrhea, 981, 989; sypm- 
toms of, 991; serious re- 
sults of, 992; an after- 
effect of, 993; of the eye, 1236 
Index 
Hydrocele, 971. 
Hygiene, of Gonorrhea, 
1035; of Syphilis, 1036. 
Hymen, 309. 
574, 796; the unconscious 
urge of, 1053; tests of 
true, 881; ignorance re- 
garding, 931; and lovers, 
1081; multiplied by experi- 
ence, 1085; greatest thing 
in the world, 1136; vision 
of realized, 1138; and 
vision, 1170; ideals, of, 
1171; most powerful force, 
1187. 
Lovelife, 768. 
Lymphatic Glands, 678. 
I 
Illegitimate Fathers, 903. 
Impotence, as to sex power, 
313; and venereal diseases, 
315; and. malformation, 
self-abuse and obesity, 
316. 
Infants, feeding, 401, 404; 
weaning of, 617; sleep, 
620; medicines to induce 
sleep, 626; food for, 627; 
predigested for, 633. 
Interests, racial, 158; awaken 
unevenly, 235. 
M 
Man, how wrecked, 910. 
Manhood, restored, 1026, 
1184. 
Margaret, her first mistake, 
1146. 
Marriage, the ideal of, 42; 
for better or for worse, 
46; looking toward, 228, 
879; advantages of early, 
880; mutual: understanding 
before, 882, 884; setting 
the date for, motive for, 
886; physical fitness for, 
887; Mosaic Law in, 996; 
and Gonorrhea, 999; a 
failure, 1077; and Eugen- 
ics, 1120; right mating in, 
1124. 
Master Passion, 941, 947. 
Mastery, over nature, 176. 
Maternity, healthfulness of, 
357. 
Matrimonial, politeness, 285; 
harmony in, 298; and long 
life, beneficial, 319; liber- 
ties before, 320. 
Mealtime, unpleasant words 
at, 291. 
Mean, called nothing, 403. 
Mechanic, the boy, 208. 
Member, the Selfish young, 
142. 
J 
Jealously, 760. 
K 
Kissing, 794. 
L 
Laboratory, the rag doll, 
160. 
Ladyhood, a key to, 786. 
Leadership, 1060. 
Learning, to spend, 251; to 
save, 253; to givb, 296. 
Lethargy, as to sex powers, 
312. 
Lewd Pictures, 516. 
Life, learning the ways of, 
216; its biggest problem, 
1'141; a twisting highway, 
1142, the lure of, 1143'. 
Looking Ahead, for tomor- 
row, 146. 
Love, the law of, 281; the 
ideal of, 281; dawning of, Index 
1237 
Menstruation, 738; regular- 
ity in, 739. 
Mental Adultery, 939. 
Miscarriage, dangerous to 
mothers, 358; causes of, 
359; prevention, 36; and 
abortion, 419. 
Modesty, a false, 498; na- 
tural and unnatural, 499; 
in girlhood, 779. 
Money, and materials, ap- 
preciation of, 133. 
Moral Inventory, 131. 
Morals and Manners, dis- 
tinction between, 96. 
Mother, a wise, 88; and 
father flowers, 561. 
Motherhood, the joys of, 
1055; the elemental long- 
ing for, 1057. 
Mothers, good, 90; and girls 
after ten, 529; unwedded 
little, 798. 
Mother's problem, 85; then 
and now, 86. 
Mumps, dangers from, 861. 
Old Age, is it a delusion, 
233; and verility, 315, 838. 
Organs, the reproductive, 
336, 338; female sexual, 
external, internal, 339, 344; 
male and female in flow- 
ers, 561; most delicate, 
742; their productive, 832. 
p 
Parentage, 1092. 
Parents, 55; responsible, 58; 
what will product be, 67; 
laxity in, 73; indulgence 
and delinquency in, 79; as 
instructors, 682; natural 
teachers, 696. 
Passion, in women, 329; the 
foundation of nobility, 
606; when begins, 607. 
Period, the reproductive, 7. 
Personal Appearances, care- 
lessness in, 782. 
Personality, 1060. 
Phymosis, 668. 
Physical Culture, 1053. 
Picture Shows, 517. 
Pistil, 558. 
Playhouse, the outdoor, 166. 
Playthings, group interest 
in, 161.. 
Possibilities, many, 205. 
Poverty, not a bar, 131. 
Pregnancy, veneration for, 
345; signs of, 346, 354; ef- 
fect of tight lacing, 365; 
care of lower limbs, 367; 
exercise, 367; bathing, 368; 
ventilation and sleep, 369; 
food, 370. 
Prepuce, 844. 
Prostitutes, 984. 
Prostitution, houses of no 
protection, 902, 956, 962. 
Prostrate Gland, 851; func- 
tion of, 855; enlargement 
of, 972. 
N 
Nature, the call of, 171; 
mastery over, 176; keep- 
ing close to, 182; discov- 
ers elements of, 184. 
Nerve Centers, unexplored, 
231. 
New Awakening, watch for, 
212. 
Narcotics, 913. 
O 
Obedience and Authority, 
139. 
Obscene, books, 516. 
Observe, racial interests, 
158; other children, 192. 
Offspring, limitation of, 407. 1238 
Index 
Puberty, time of boy's 
changes in, 599; variation 
in, 600; hygiene in, 602; 
age of in man, 608; age 
of in woman, 609; signs 
of, 737; physical, mental 
and moral changes in, 
739; first years of adoles- 
cence, 835. 
Punishment, the idea of, 140. 
Self-abuse, and impotence, 
316; fathers should inform 
the boy of, 482; how 
taught, 515, 941. 
Self-dependence, 143. 
Semen, 856; beneficial in- 
fluence of, 858. 
Seminal Vesicles, 850; func- 
tions of, 854. 
Sex, a false modesty con- 
cerning, 498; natural and 
unnatural modesty, 499; 
ignorance concerning, 500; 
the mystery of, 1057; the 
awakening of, 1144. 
Sex Glands, and verility, 
885. 
Sex Instruction, importance 
of, 464; and morbid curi- 
osity, 467; time to begin, 
469; girl of twelve, 469; 
right of child to, 485; child 
early seeks for, children 
inquisitive about, 487; 
physical reasons for, 489; 
mental reasons for, 490; 
old ideas concerning and 
results, 503, 508; parents 
responsible for, 525; in 
school, 530; what and 
when, 532; how should be 
given, 542; skill needed in, 
544; first story of life, 
548; story of baby fish, 
566; story of insects and 
birds, 575; origin of life 
in animal and human 
babies, 580; outside of 
home problematical, 684; 
moral reasons for, 922. 
Sex Life, determining the 
trend of, 1059; three func- 
tions of, 858. 
Sex Love, 930. 
Sex Power, the source of, 
703. 
Sexual Hygiene, 898. 
Q 
Quack Doctors, 518; beware 
of, 948; and their victims, 
963. 
Queen, a real, 815. 
R 
Race Suicide, 418. 
Racial Interests, 158. 
Reliance, 143. 
Remedy, for, 318. 
Respect, 286. 
Reverence, a call for, 190. 
Rickets, 672. 
S 
Saint Vitus' Dance, 675. 
Scarlet Fever, 646. 
Schools, should teach clean- 
liness, 689. 
Science, revelation of, 1049; 
and romance, 1095. 
Scorecard, for father, 125; 
for mother, 126. 
Scout, age, 178. 
Scouting, girls take to, 181. 
Scrofula, 677. 
Scrotum, 847. 
Secrets, in, 710; do not un- 
derstand, 711; boys need 
help concerning, 712; ef- 
fects of, 715; how to over- 
come, 716, 774. Index 
1239 
Sexual Organs, functions of, 
852. 
Sexual Union, different 
views of, 322; complete 
cessation, dangerous 
period, 330. 
Shifting, allow for, 195. 
Sin, the shadow of, 799. 
Sleep, during infancy, 520; 
sleeping room, 623; medi- 
cines to induce, 626. 
Social Desires, 749. 
Society, learning ways of, 
219. 
Soil, culture, amateur, 167. 
Soul, the captain of, 814; 
sweetest flowers of, 816; 
beauty of, 818. 
Spend, learning to, 251. 
Spermatorrhea, 976. 
Spermatozoa, 310. 
Syphilis, 981; how acquired, 
1*001'; primary, 1002; sec- 
ondary, 1005; a public 
menace, 1008; infecting 
the innocent, 1009; tertiary 
stage, 1010; locomotor 
ataxia, 1011; treatment of, 
1013, 1038. 
Spooning, in fish, 570, 935; 
defined, 938. 
Stamen, 557. 
Standard, child is, 248; false, 
1'155. 
Sterility, conditions of, 31'7. 
Stimulants, 1033. 
Story, of plant life, 548; of 
fish life, 566; of insect and 
bird life, 575; animal and 
human babies, 580. 
Sublimation, 1057. 
Sweetheart, your first, 775. 
Teeth, 614; milk teeth, 616; 
care of in childhood, 617. 
Teething, 630; and convul- 
sions, 642. 
Testicles, 847. 
Testing and Trial, 154. 
Tests, for children, 128. 
Time and Talent, 187. 
Tobacco, 721. 
Tonsilitis, 648. 
Tradition, why not abandon, 
238. 
Trial and Testing, 154 
Twilight, sleep, 373. 
U 
Unselfishness, 1161. 
Urinary System, 840. 
V 
Vagina, 310. 
Varicocele, 977. 
Venereal Diseases, and im- 
potence, 315; avoid by 
frankness, 688, 981. 
Virility, want of and man, 
310; tests of unreliable, 
321; determining before, 
884; proof of, 889. 
Vision, your need of, 821, 
1060; and love, 1170. 
Vocation, difficulties in, 261; 
nature must respond in 
choosing, 263; experience 
of prime importance in, 
265; reliable basis for 
choosing, 269; right to 
change, 274. 
T 
Talents, many involved, 201. 
Task, rotation of, 129. 
Teaching, self-dependence, 
145. 
w 
Wealth, 1197. 
Weaning, of child, 617. 1240 
Index 
Wedded Love, death of, 
mutual growth of, 301. 
Will, developing a strong, 
728. 
Wives, why fail, 289. make 
home, 295; aversion to 
husband, 314; neatness of 
attire, 328. 
Woman, most perfect figure, 
1117. 
Women, men looking down 
upon, 77. 
Work, the joys of, 802. 
Worms, in children, 669, 671. 
Y 
Youth, commercializing of, 
74; can they forgive? 102, 
111; a part of the city, 
106; an apology to, 111; 
honor the loyalty of, 21'7. 
Youthful Emotions, mis- 
treatment of, 243.