MUfiere iurfla- 
Yttpmntjxma, T THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
OR 
Where Do Babies Come From 
BY 
OZORA S. DAVIS 
4rS 
President of the Chicago Theological Seminary 
AND 
DR. EMMA F. ANGELL DRAKE 
Author of—"What a Young Wife Ought to Know”,"What a 
Woman of Ought to Know”/‘Maternity”, etc, 
ILLUSTRATED BY 
JOHN W. COLLINS 
PUBLISHED BY 
J. L. NICHOLS & CO. 
Agents Wanted 
ATLANTA, GA. 
NAPERVILLE, ILL. Copyright 1917 
BY 
J. L. NICHOLS & CO. INTRODUCTION 
TODAY is the most wonderful day in the 
world’s history. It is the day of great 
discover}7, great invention, and of great 
scholarship. Knowledge is at a premium not 
only in the university, in the laboratory, in the 
factory, and in legislative hall, but as well upon 
the farm, in the shop, and in the average home. It 
is no longer either safe or honorable to be 
counted among “those who do not know,” the 
demand is for “those who know.” Ignorance 
is at last recognized as the greatest enemy of 
man, for it was given to man to know. 
The greatest work that any individual can 
do is the building of a life—Character. Second 
in importance is the responsibility of parent- 
hood. If knowledge, education, is needed any- 
where it is in fitting one to successfully carry 
out these principal designs of life. It is the 
right of every person to know, to positively 
know, every knowable fact and truth about him- 
self,—his body, his mind, his soul, and his true 
relations to other individuals and to society. If 
$here are directions that will assist him, he should INTRODUCTION 
have them; if there are preparations to make for 
any certain periods, he should be informed in 
time; if there are known dangers, he should be 
warned. The experiences of those who have 
trodden these same paths before should be acces- 
sible to him in frankest detail for his guidance. 
This book is in line with the thought here 
expressed. It is destined to become the guide 
in matters of self and sex in thousands of homes. 
I am glad that it is addressed to parents, because 
parents when properly educated are the best as 
well as the natural instructors of their children, 
and particularly so on the questions and prob- 
lems dealt with herein. This volume will assist 
parents in preparing themselves for giving this 
needed instruction. Very much in the book may 
be profitably read by parents to their children,, 
where this method is preferred. 
If unacquainted with the author of a book 
of this nature, I should hesitate to recommend 
it. I should first want to know that they them- 
selves had builded in life successfully. But the 
joint authorship of this volume is a happy one, 
indeed. Dr. Emma F. A. Drake is so widely 
and favorably known that it would be presump- 
tuous to attempt to introduce her even to the 
readers of this book in the smallest hamlets. 
The wife of a former well known minister, a 
physician of large practice, the author of books INTRODUCTION 
dealing with home and sex that have reached a 
circulation totalling millions, lecturer, social and 
uplift worker, traveler, and best of all a mother 
of signal success; from experience, education, 
and actual accomplishment she is ideally fitted 
to give just the help that parents need. Ozora 
S. Davis, Ph. D., is also widely and favorably 
known. A successful minister since 1896, dis- 
tinguished educator, author, reformer, a father, 
he is in every way prepared to give this message 
to the parents of today. 
I most heartily endorse this book and express 
the hope that it may reach many, many thou- 
sands of homes to give parents the help and 
enlightenment they so much need, that their 
homes may fill the true functions of home. If 
all homes were what they should be, the prison, 
the reformatory, the saloon, the brothel, and the 
vast array of repressive and corrective agencies 
and the institutions of vice, would be reduced to 
the minimum, if not entirely done away with. 
This book will help to make our homes what 
they ought to be, and I predict for it a wide 
sphere of usefulness in uplift work during the 
coming years. 
B. S. Steadwell 
President World’s Purity Federation 
La Crosse, Wisconsin, 
June 7, 1917. TABLE OF CONTENTS 
Part I 
CHAP. PAGE 
Introduction 1 
Writer’s Preface 7 
I. Our Point of View ..... 9 
II. The Place of the Home ... 19 
III. A Boy, His Father and the Story 
of Life 31 
IV. Where Do Babies Come From? 47 
V. Calling Things by Their Right 
Names 61 
VI. The Change Into Manhood . . 73 
VII. The Male Organs of Sex ... 85 
VIII. The Sexual Problems of Boy- 
hood 95 
IX. Pictures, Suggestions, Thoughts, 
Talks, Friends 107 
X. Forming and Breaking Habits . 119 CONTENTS 
CHAP. PAGE 
XI. Associating with Boys who Mis- 
understand the Story. . . .133 
XII. Being a Gentleman with Girls . 145 
Part II 
XIII. When the Long Story Begins . 155 
XIV. A Further Story of Beginnings 165 
XV. The Price of the Baby . . . .173 
XVI. A Word to Parents . . . . 183 
XVII. Father 191 
XVIII. Development 203 
XIX. Knowledge that Protects . . .217 
XX. The Age of Attraction . ... 239 
XXI. Young Womanhood 253 
XXII. Sex Hygiene in the Schools . . 265 
XXIII. Pleasures that Recreate . . . 275 
XXIV. A Postlude for Parents . . . 289 WRITER’S PREFACE 
IN preparing the first section of this intimate 
and friendly book, the writer of the first part 
has approached the subject from the view- 
point of a father who is eager to be a good com- 
rade and counselor to his own boys. The material 
has been put into the form of friendly talks, writh 
no aim at literary style. The language of boyhood 
has been used so far as possible. The situations 
created have all been faced by the writer with his 
own children and many of the sentences found 
here in printed form have been actually spoken 
first. 
There is repetition in the book. This is due to 
the necessity of the case. Instruction of this sort 
requires the frequent statement of a truth in 
order to drive it home. 
The subject handled here is delicate and the 
writer of the first section has felt the constraint of 
it at every point. No father will talk often with 
his boys on these matters; but he must talk some- 
times and then it must be accurate and clear and 
affectionate speech. It has been our aim to reach 
this level of clean and clear honesty. THE STORY OF LIFE 
CHAPTER I 
Our Point of View 
The Supremacy of Ideas.—Every 
act is determined by a thought or motive. 
The supreme fact about us is not what we 
do but what we think. All parents and teachers 
know the importance of this truth in the govern- 
ment of their own lives and in the training of 
those who are entrusted to.their care. 
So as we begin to consider the way in which 
children may be guided into the knowledge of 
their own physical and of their power 
to take their part in turn in the divine and beauti- 
ful process of reproducing life, it is necessary that 
we should raise the preliminary question, How 
do we ourselves think of the matter of reproduc- 
tion and sex ? 
Therefore at this point we wish to consider 
the ways in which the great subject is commonly 
regarded and to see if we may not reach a point 
of view at the outset which shall determine the 10 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
suggestions that are to be made in the following 
chapters. 
The Seriousness of the Subject.—Concern- 
ing the serious character of the subject and the 
mistaken ways in which it is regarded there can 
be no doubt. Human beings have been endowed 
with conscious freedom in exercising their power 
to bring other persons into life. They can give 
or withhold the gift of physical existence to 
others. This fact is one of the most sobering 
and ennobling truths that ever can come to our 
minds for consideration. Yet we are inclined to 
treat it flippantly. We pass it by in jest or in 
silence. We make too little deliberate effort to 
inform our children concerning the meaning of 
this power. We pay little attention to the educa- 
tion of boys and girls for the greatest common 
service that they will render to the world, the 
leaving after them of healthy, good children. Let 
us stop, therefore, a moment while we search out 
the full meaning of this truth. Leaving all the 
mystery unexplained and raising no questions as 
to the theology involved in the fact, we are solem- 
nized when we think that we are endowed as men 
and women with something that is akin to the 
creative power of God. We can give or with- 
hold, under normal conditions, human life from 
one or more possible beings. Their very existence WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
11 
depends upon us. Surely if there is anything that 
can make one think soberly it is the eternal signif- 
icance of a fact like this. And all we shall try 
to suggest in the following pages is keyed to the 
nobility and beauty of this sublime truth. 
But we never shall arrive at the true meaning 
of our privilege and power as human beings thus 
endowed with the ability to give or to withhold 
life from others by thinking simply of the higher 
physical meaning of reproduction alone. There 
is a far deeper and richer significance to the whole 
matter. 
The Nobility of Sex Instincts.—It is to be 
feared that with many people, especially those 
who have received the higher education, parent- 
hood is often considered as something that is 
bound up with the physical life alone. The sex 
instincts are regarded as something that we carry 
over as an unfortunate inheritance from the ani- 
mals. The reproductive process is thought of 
almost entirely from the physical and economic 
point of view. The bearing and training of 
healthy children is put on the level of the work of 
the stock-breeder; the appeal is made for healthy 
offspring on the ground of the physical alone. 
For Example, Physical Hunger.-—But there 
is a wholly different way of regarding the subject 
from the side of beauty and the affections. This  THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
12 
point of view is illustrated from the use of another 
fundamental desire of humanity, namely hunger. 
In the case of the animals there is, indeed, noth- 
ing more than the desire to satisfy instinctive ap- 
petities. But with man the process of eating is 
entirely different in character. The German lan- 
guage recognizes this distinction and has two 
wrords to describe the two facts. The animals 
fressen and human beings essen. Sometimes the 
former term may be appropriately used in critical 
contempt for a man who has so far fallen in his 
ideals and practices that he may be said to fressen 
instead of to essen. Now eating is something 
which we share with the animals and which may 
be the mere satisfaction of physical hunger. But 
we have taken this gratification of hunger and 
thirst and lifted it above the plane of the physical. 
We have made it a source of fine satisfaction of 
taste and friendship. When we want to share the 
deepest experiences of life with a friend or with 
our neighbors we ask them to be our guests at the 
family table. There we talk with each other and 
we grow intimate in the blending of life. The 
table is adorned with the linen and the dishes 
upon which artistic care has been bestowed. 
Everything that refinement and a sense of beauty 
can give have been added to the mere satisfaction 
of hunger and thirst to make the meal almost a WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
13 
sacramental event in the expression of friendship. 
The Origin of Life More Than a Physical 
Fact.—So the time has come for us to recognize 
the higher meaning and values in the relation of 
the sexes and in the act of human reproduction. 
It is not with human beings what it is with the ani- 
mals. It is lifted into a wholly different order by 
the addition of the values of beauty and love 
which accompany true parenthood. 
The more we study the life of the animals 
the more clearly we see that all their sexual activ- 
ity is directed simply to the end of bringing 
other animals of the same kind into life. There 
may be faint glimmerings of something more 
than this in the way in which male animals regard 
their female companions in the act and process 
of reproduction; but certainly it does not rise 
into any place of prominence or control. That is, 
it is a purely animal function with a merely phys- 
ical end in view. 
Now nothing could be more disappointing 
than to bring the sex relations of human beings 
down to this level and make it our permanent 
habit to think of them as serving only the purpose 
that it performs among the animals. We might 
as well return to the table manners of the Cave 
Man and change the beautiful customs of family 
dining into the mere gnawing of bones and suck- 
ing of marrow of the old days. 14 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
Add the New Values.—So we must recog- 
nize the physical basis of the sex life, which of 
course we share with the animals and of which we 
have no reason or right to be ashamed; but we 
must go on and add those higher values which 
distinctly belong to human beings. Just as we 
have added table cloths and gentle manners to 
the rough eating of the earliest men; so we must 
go on and add those higher meanings to the whole 
matter of sex. A husband and wife do not enter 
into the sanctities of marriage simply in order 
that children may be born. The relations of 
sex may be so ennobled and beautified as the 
expression of mutual love and thoughtfulness, 
that they are lifted into a wholly new sphere. 
Through them the life of the race is kept up on 
the physical side; but no less on the moral and 
spiritual side, sex difference is a means to higher 
happiness and power than would be possible 
without it. No thoughtful man or woman, no 
earnest father or mother ought to stop short of 
this high end in his thinking where he lifts the 
facts of sex clear and clean above the mere level 
of physical reproduction and understands them 
as one of the highest ministries to love and cour- 
tesy and strength.* 
Therefore in all their thought of reproduction 
* Maurice A. Bigelow, “Sex Education.” 1916, p. 74. Mothers:—Uncle Sam, you take our sons! See that they are protected 
from nice and liquor white in your service. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
15 
and sex, parents need not and should not think 
of this part of their life and of their children’s 
knowledge and experience as something abnor- 
mal or vulgar or belonging to their animal in- 
heritance. This is to miss the true meaning of 
the facts and to pervert what is holy and beau- 
tiful. 
The reproduction of life and the relations that 
make it possible are not abnormal and disagreea- 
ble factors in the conduct of life and the making of 
a home. They are as much essential as is breathing 
and digesting food. The organs of sex are nor- 
mal and noble parts of the human body. They 
are to be cared for and respected as much as are 
the visible parts upon the cleanliness and attrac- 
tiveness of which we bestow so much care and 
thought. 
Where, Then, is Modesty?—The question 
will arise instantly from reading these sentences, 
Are there, then, no reserves and modesties in our 
daily life that are to be preserved? And we an- 
swer at once, Yes; as many and more than we 
would observe under the old animal conception 
of! the subject. Some of the reserves that we 
have maintained were wholly wrong; and some 
of the modesty was the folly of ignorance. We 
have no more thought of returning to the shame- 
less indecencies of paganism than had the most 16 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
rigid Puritan to whom the thought of sex was 
sin. In pleading for the normal recognition of 
the holy values of sex life we do not involve the 
letting down of the modesty and reserve which 
always will be instinctive with the person of true 
sensitiveness. 
But there is no danger that a truly normal 
knowledge of sex life will make anyone bold and 
immodest. On the contrary, we are sure that it i s 
the idea of the abnormal aspects of sex that ha:s 
brought vulgarity into vogue. No person who 
regards sex and reproduction as we have just de- 
fined it in the outlines of its higher spiritual and 
esthetic values will think of it over-much, talk of 
it in a vulgar way, dwell upon it to excess in 
thought, or be betrayed into abuse of such a sa- 
cred relation and power. 
In the following chapters we shall discuss 
freely the place which the home must occupy in 
true instruction in matters of sex, and especially 
how a father may help his boys in their mastery 
of the story of life, the care and control of their 
own bodies, and in their transition from boyhood 
to manhood. All that will be said will be based 
upon the point of view that we have defined. This 
will, we believe, save parents from being misun- 
derstood, will guide them in their efforts to help 
their children, and will, in the end greatly help in WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
17 
bringing up a generation who will stand in the 
presence of the process of human reproduction 
with the conscious joy with which a pure, brave 
soul contemplates supreme truth and beneficent 
power. CHAPTER II 
The Place of the Home in Sex Education 
The Right Use of 
Terms.—W e use the 
term “Sex Education” 
with reluctance here, for 
fear that at the very out- 
set there will be prejudice aroused against the 
subject matter in this and the following chapters. 
For there has been some extravagant and even 
foolish talk about this, as there always must be in 
the case of any cause which is new and radical and 
into which ardent champions throw themselves. 
And there have been speakers and writers who 
have at least conveyed the impression that if only 
the facts concerning the story of human life could 
be imparted early enough, the whole pest of sex- 
ual immorality would be blotted out. Therefore 
there has been a somewhat furious endeavor to 
bring sex instruction into the schools; and wise 
parents have taken alarm at what has seemed to 
them a dangerous tendency. 
We do not mean to champion any particular 
theory or program of sex education. That which 
19 20 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
is maintained here is what practically all thought- 
ful parents will agree to, namely, that the child 
has the right to know the meaning of the physical 
origin of its own life and its own potential power 
to impart life, at as early a period as shall insure 
safety from the mistakes of ignorance. We also 
doubtless find ourselves in agreement on the point 
that the child has the right to receive this knowl- 
edge from those who know him best and love him 
most. 
A General Definition.—In its broadest out- 
line, therefore, we mean by sex education all pos- 
sible forms of ec serious instruction—no matter 
where or when or by whom given—which aims to 
help young people face the problems that normal 
semual processes bring to every life.” 
Letting the Matter go by Default.—Surely 
it is better to try to do something, even at the cost 
of making occasional mistakes, than it is to let 
this whole matter go by default, as is done so 
often. For the way in which young people are 
permitted to go through the critical years of 
childhood and youth unguided and ignorant, 
leaves the burden of a terrible responsibility on 
the shoulders of parents and teachers. We may 
consent in the statement that evil purposes and 
animal desires will still do harm to our boys and 
girls; but surely we are alert to the fact that sins WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
21 
of ignorance must be laid at the door of those who 
are responsible for the ignorance. Knowledge of 
the truth does not insure action according to the 
truth; but it at least makes it certain that trans- 
gression will not be committed in the darkness of 
ignorance but will be a deliberate wrong. 
Five Lines of Education.—In his recent vol- 
ume entitled “Sex Education,” Prof. Maurice A. 
Bigelow of Teachers College, Columbia Univer- 
sity, has indicated five lines of sex education 
which are so apparently commendable that we 
follow them substantially in the following para- 
graphs : 
Approaching the Subject Scientifically.— 
First, come “the scientific truths that lead to 
serious and respectful attitude on all sex ques- 
tions.” Every child has the right to approach 
the problems and the powers of his own sex life 
through the avenue of science, in order that he 
may understand himself consistently in the world 
of nature of which he is the crowning part. The 
most natural approach to the fact of sex and its 
functions in human beings is through the corre- 
sponding facts in nature as they are revealed by 
the simple study of biology and physiology. The 
child meets the facts of reproduction at the very 
beginning of his acquaintance with the world into 
which he has come; and the import of what he 22 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
sees and about which he asks urgent questions in 
reference to his own body and powers ought to 
be made clear to him early and clearly. It is a 
mental and moral tragedy that he must be kept 
from following up the instinctive question that he 
asks concerning the chickens and the calves, and 
be left to learn the meaning of his own sex life 
from the filthy talk of school out-houses or the 
hints and suggestions of little comrades. The 
lesson of science is too plain and clean to be lost 
when the first questions of the aroused mind are 
asked. 
Care of the Body.—Second, the child has the 
right to be taught the fundamental principles of 
the proper care of himself in all matters relating 
to sex as a part of his natural and normal life. As 
purely and plainly as he is taught to take care of 
his teeth or to observe the right proportion in the 
use of food, so he ought to learn how to take care 
of the organs of sex. The place that this care oc- 
cupies in healthy and efficient living is known to 
all parents who have thought on the matter with 
any degree of seriousness; and they ought not to 
let their children remain ignorant or leam from 
less reliable sources how to take care of them- 
selves in the relations of life that involve sex. 
The Awakening of Social Responsibility.— 
Third. Later than these fundamental items of WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
23 
instruction, comes the information regarding 
the moral responsibility for the care of others that 
is involved in matters of sex. There is a social 
side to the matter that young people ought to 
learn from their own parents. Sexual relations 
are social, with the small exception of those errors 
that are secret and private and which will be 
treated later; the bearing of this fact upon the 
sense of moral responsibility for the welfare of 
others ought to be plainly made known. When 
a boy understands that he is involving not only 
himself but someone else in disaster as a result 
of wrong doing, he may be steadied in his conduct 
by that fact. If it does not keep him chaste, it 
may help to preserve him from debauching 
others. And certainly he ought not to be al- 
lowed to go through his times of temptation 
without understanding at least the social mean- 
ing of his acts. 
The Laws of Healthy Married Life.— 
Fourth. Still later comes the giving of such 
information as is necessary for the preservation 
of health and the production of happiness in mar- 
ried life. The task of education in matters of 
sex does not cease with childhood and early youth. 
Before the time of marriage, a young man ought 
to weigh seriously and in the light of the fullest 
possible knowledge the meaning of his new rela- 24 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
tions with a person of the opposite sex in the 
dearest intimacies of human experience. A girl 
needs to understand the meaning of the same 
facts. Certainly at such a time there is no one 
who can take the place of a father or mother to 
impart in a pure and beautiful way the neces- 
sary knowledge. And yet many a mother has 
worked for weeks preparing the clothing for the 
daughter’s wedding and arranging for the recep- 
tion; but not a word has been spoken to help the 
lovely and eager girl understand what is involved 
in the new life into which she is going. 
The New Science, Eugenics.—Fifth, comes 
the whole new subject of eugenics, the defining 
of those laws by which there shall be insured 
new and a nobler race as a result of marriage 
Such education does not come, of course, in 
youth; but it ought to be reckoned with either im- 
mediately preceding or following marriage. The 
whole subject of eugenics is much under discus- 
sion. But whatever may be arrived at as a gen- 
eral agreement among students of social and ethi- 
cal science, the subject is one that appeals to our 
simple common sense. We know that the future 
of the race is too important to let the matter of 
its reproduction drift along without any regard 
for measures to safeguard its quality. 
Who is to Garry out the Program?—Now WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
25 
here is a program that is reasonable, comprehen- 
sive and practical. The means by which it may 
be carried out are at hand, if only thoughtful peo- 
ple will see the necessity and do something about 
it. 
The Part of the Home.—The first item to be 
emphasized is the demand that parents shall see 
the worth and the responsibility involved in a pro- 
gram of sex education. If they simply pass it by 
as not worth their efforts, then nothing will be ac- 
complished. So first of all, let us take time to 
think the matter through. If at the end it seems 
unwise to try to do anything personally with the 
children committed to our care, at least the deci- 
sion will have been reached after thought upon 
the subject and we shall have a reason for our 
decision. 
In the majority of cases, however, we believe 
that a few hours spent in thinking over the full 
meaning of the question, in the light of the pro- 
gram proposed by Prof. Bigelow, will lead the 
great majority of fathers and mothers to deter- 
mine that they will undertake the right sex in- 
struction for their children, from the time when 
the first questions are asked by the little people, 
until the day when their young married sons and 
daughters face the problem of becoming parents 
in their turn. 26 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
The Public Schools.—The public schools are 
established and maintained to train pupils for 
right and useful living. We no longer regard 
the purpose of the schools as simply to inform 
the minds of children with useful knowledge. 
Knowledge is not enough; children must be 
trained for life and to do this is the aim of educa- 
tion. May the schools be reasonably expected to 
take up the matter of sex education and do for 
the children and young people all that is neces- 
sary in order that they may be prepared for life ? 
There are those who think that in the public 
schools lies the entire responsibility for education 
in matters of sex. We shall not enter into the 
detailed discussion of this subject here. It is 
enough to affirm that something may be done in 
the schools; but that it is impossible to expect 
from the public schools the complete discharge 
of responsibility in this matter. There is grave 
danger in entrusting to young and immature 
teachers the task of imparting accurate informa- 
tion in the right way on the meaning and func- 
tion of sex. 
The Work of Voluntary Societies.—Again, 
there are those who place great reliance upon 
the use of voluntary societies in the giving of 
sex education. Clubs of boys and girls under 
wise leadership can be formed in churches and WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
27 
settlements and the information and guidance 
necessary can be given in this way, it is said. 
There is force also in the contention that subjects 
like these can be best handled in little groups 
where the relations are as personal and affection- 
ate as they are in small clubs of boys and girls. 
The leader of boys’ work in a church can take 
care of his group with better results than would 
be possible in a public school, we are assured. But 
even when the utmost has been done under wise 
leadership in voluntary clubs, the whole ground 
has not been covered nor has the work been done 
in the best way. Still more agents must be 
brought into the service. 
Personal Influence Between Friends.— 
There are still others who feel that the best 
results are obtained if the whole problem is given 
over to the influence of personal friendship. In 
the intimate talks which boys and girls have with 
their wiser and older friends, it is said, they will 
find out all that they need to know and will be 
guided through the dangers of youth. These 
matters may be trusted to take care of themselves, 
it is urged. And there can be no doubt of the fact 
that if a boy or girl has a good and wise older 
friend to whom he can talk or in whom she can 
confide, there will be blessed results so far as sex 
education is concerned. But it is equally clear 28 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
that here we have one of the most fertile sources 
of evil in the whole problem. The amount of in- 
correct information and misleading talk that 
sometimes grows out of the best intentioned re- 
lations of friends is amazing. In the end the one 
friend with whom any boy or girl can talk most 
safely and profitably on the problems of sex is 
his own father or mother. The path of safety 
and success lies here. 
But the Home is Supreme.—So we come to 
the proposition that it is the home which is the 
central factor in the process of sex education. 
Where there is a home in which neither vulgar 
curiosity nor prudish fear is found we have the 
ideal conditions for the solution of the problem. 
For the parents have the knowledge, the time, 
the approach, and the influence which are nec- 
essary to bring the facts of sex to the knowledge 
of children better than any other single agency. 
So we maintain that it is the parents who should 
from the beginning be charged primarily with 
the sex education of children. The home is the 
pure and blessed place where the facts should be 
made known and the children led to understand 
the meaning of their sex life. 
A Union of All Factors Desirable.—It 
would be most highly desirable if there could be 
found some way in which these four factors could WHERE DO BABIES . COME FROM? 
29 
be brought together in some combined program 
for the conduct of sex education. It is not too 
much to hope that this will take place sometime 
and that we shall have a scheme thoroughly 
worked out by which school, voluntary club, inti- 
mate friends, and parents at home may each take 
a part in the education of children in matters of 
sex and thus the whole field be covered in a way 
that will insure us from loss at any point. 
At present, however, we must stress the im- 
portance of the home as affording the chief factor 
in the solution of the problem of adequate sex 
education. 
The Help of Books.—Then comes another 
aspect of the work. What means have we by 
which parents may guide their children into the 
knowledge of their sex life? Are there books to 
be had or helpful suggestions to be given. For 
this is not so easy a matter as it might seem at 
first glance. Not only is the subject itself diffi- 
cult and wrapped around with all kinds of tra- 
ditional reserves; but the best way in which to an- 
swer the questions of childhood and to reveal the 
meaning of sex is not to be discovered without 
careful study. 
It is at this point that the following chapters 
will be useful, it is hoped. The purpose of the 
writers and the publisher has been to make a book 30 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
which would come in with definite help on this 
problem at this very point. The clear difference 
in the treatment of the problem for boys and girls 
has been regarded. Therefore the first section of 
the book has to do with the fathers guidance of 
his boy and the second is concerned with the 
mothers instruction of the girl in the process of 
sex education through the home. CHAPTER III 
A Boy, His Father, and the Story of Life 
The Lonely Time in a Boy’s 
Life.—Into the life of every boy there 
comes a time of loneliness, misunder- 
standing and great need. He passes 
through the profound change in body, mind and 
spirit which is called adolescence. This is simply 
a long word for the process of becoming a man. 
The subject has been extensively written upon 
during the past twenty-five years, so much so 
that many excellent parents have become wearied 
by the constant talk about it. But when the 
tremendous significance of the matter is fully 
understood, no father will pass over the great ex- 
perience of his boy without appreciation of what 
is going on and the effort to help his child in 
every possible way to meet the stress of the 
change. 
It is an experience that involves the whole 
personality. The body passes through a stage 
of growth that tests the virility and stamina of 
the boy intensely. At the end of it not only is 
the lad larger and stronger in body; but he has 
reached also the beginning of his stage of repro- 
31 32 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
ductive power. He discovers a new world of 
social relations of which he was ignorant before. 
He may become either intensely bashful or so- 
cially headstrong. Very likely he will almost 
break his mother’s heart, for he will not want to 
be kissed or petted any longer, although he needs 
to be loved as never before. Perhaps he will be- 
have like a brute, when his heart is still as true 
and tender as it was when he was a little boy. It 
it quite probable that he will fall madly in love, 
like William Baxter in Booth Tarkington’s 
“Seventeen.” In some cases there will be a burst- 
ing forth of the deeper yearnings of religion. Al- 
together it is a strange confusion through which 
the boy is passing. 
The Physical Side of the Change.—This 
great change and its consequent loneliness may 
be studied from many points of approach; but 
one of the ways in which it must be considered is 
in its reference to the ripening of the powers by 
which a boy finally becomes able himself to be- 
come the father of a child. The peril involved in 
this particular consideration of the fact of adoles- 
cence is that it will be regarded almost wholly 
from the side of its sex changes and functions. 
This is only one part of the tremendous process, 
and to exalt it over-much is just as serious a mis- 
take as it is to disregard it entirely . WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
33 
Knowledge of the whole truth concerning the 
physical origin of human life, clean and beautiful 
and ennobling as it is, is one of the best safe- 
guards to help carry a boy through this radical 
transformation and to bring him out into ma- 
turity, truly informed in mind, self-mastered in 
body, and pure in heart. The importance of 
knowledge in meeting this experience must be 
emphasized at this point. 
The reticence with which the process of re- 
production is treated by the majority of parents 
during this lonely period of a boy’s life suggests 
not only the fact that many do not know how to 
handle it, but also that probably a majority of 
parents fail to recognize how important it is and 
what rank it holds among the items of knowledge 
that a boy ought to possess as to the world of 
which he is a part. 
The Importance of Knowledge.—Reflect- 
ing a moment upon this latter point, we recall the 
way in which all education is laying stress upon 
the importance of knowing the world in which 
we live. The whole modern scientific movement 
is a glorious endeavor to find out the meaning of 
the universe. It has been taken for granted that if 
only we can be thoroughly informed as to the 
real nature of the world in which we live, we 34 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
shall conduct ourselves in a rational way and 
live in harmony with the laws of life that insure 
prosperity and happiness. And there is excellent 
sense and sound logic in this proposition. Ignor- 
ance always has been the fertile source of bad 
behavior. Knowledge makes for character. 
What Knowledge is Most Necessary?— 
It is also important that we should estimate ac- 
curately the kind of knowledge that is of greatest 
worth. It ought to be that which is concerned 
with the supreme function of life. But surely no 
human pair has a greater privilege entrusted to 
them than this, to become the parents of healthy 
children, to train those children to be useful mem- 
bers of society, to leave to them an honored name, 
a high ideal and a body of necessary knowledge 
that shall guide them into right living. If this 
is true, then the story of life as we are using the 
terms here is of supreme importance. It is not 
only a necessary integral part of the clear and 
clean information with which every boy ought to 
be furnished, but it holds a primary place among 
the factors composing that knowledge. 
This does not mean, of course, that the story 
of the origin of human life is to be dwelt upon 
constantly, unfolded at full length at first, or 
made a subject of frequent thought and conver- 
sation with a boy. The contrary condition is the WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
35 
one toward which we ought to strive. It does not 
take long to give a boy all the knowledge that is 
necessary for his enlightenment and guidance. 
It is quite needless to lead his mind to dwell upon 
the subject or to talk much with him about it, 
least of all with his comrades, or even with his 
own father. The subject belongs among those 
facts about which every healthy minded person is 
duly reticent. But clear ideas about the nature 
of human reproduction is supremely important 
for every boy. 
As a matter of fact, we make poor estimates 
of the relative values of knowledge. A business 
man, who loves and studies the stars, said recenty 
with true insight, “We ought to open our win- 
dows toward the sky and be more interested in 
the big show overhead than we are in the dog 
fight in the street.” But, as a matter of fact, we 
are more concerned as a rule with that which is 
less important than with that which is essentially 
worth while. Perhaps we have seemed over- 
urgent in this paragraph; but the pressure of the 
demand to get the supreme items first has caused 
the emphasis to be laid so strongly. 
Children Are Bound to Learn the Story.— 
Let us make it plain also that the boy will find 
out about these matters and that very early. Par- 
ents who entertain the notion that somehow their 36 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
children are going to pass through the exper- 
iences of youth innocent on all matters of sex and 
reproduction are simply deceiving themselves. 
Professor Bigelow, to whose work reference will 
be made frequently, challenges any large group 
of representative men to declare if they did not 
know the essential facts of the sex life before they 
wrere twelve; he says, “ninety-seven in every hun- 
dred will answer quickly in the affirmative.” He 
also cites the case of the mothers of a group of 
little girls in one of the best managed private 
schools, who were confident that supervision was 
being so closely exercised over their children that 
knowledge on these forbidden subjects never 
could reach their daughters. But one day one 
of the little girls showed her mother a small note 
book filled with unprintable details on sexual 
subjects, and it was discovered that the girls had 
formed a secret society, which had been in exist- 
ence two years, for the purpose of passing on 
information acquired by them from all possible 
sources on the very topic from which they were 
supposed to have been successfully shielded. And 
they had been able to tap plenty of sources of 
knowledge also. 
Parents Gan Decide the Source of Knowl- 
edge.—So it is not at all a matter of choice with 
parents as to whether they will tell their children WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
37 
the story of life or let them remain innocent of 
it. Boys are going to find out about their sex 
life. The knowledge cannot be kept from them 
through any protective art that has yet been de- 
vised. It is simply inevitable, inescapable. The 
only possible choice the parent has in the matter 
is to determine the source from which the boy 
shall derive his information. Shall it be from 
those who will tell him the truth in a noble and 
clean way; or shall he pick up his knowledge in 
garbled form accompanied by all kinds of filthy 
ideas? There is only one answer possible with 
such alternatives in view. 
Children Have the Right to Know.—To 
the certainty that the boy will get his informa- 
tion in some way, parents ought to add this 
other fact: Every boy has the right to know the 
story of life and this knowledge is as wholesome 
and useful as any scientific information that can 
possibly be imparted to him. 
Before a father or mother attempts to give 
instruction of any sort to a child, it will help 
immensely if it may be clear that this is a subject 
which is natural and right, which belongs among 
those concerning which no apologies need to be 
made. If the father and his boy can only under- 
stand from the outset that to talk about the origin 
of life and the functions of sex is just as neces- 38 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
sary and natural and clean as talking about the 
stars or gravity or politics, they have laid the 
foundation for helpful relations which will bring 
joy and strength to them both. It is because of 
the practical results of this fundamental view of 
the matter that we made so emphatic the right of 
the boy to know the secrets that are so often 
vulgarly shared in the “gang.” 
Who Shall Tell a Child?—Granted now 
that the boy has the right to know and that he is 
sure to find out in some way, the inevitable ques- 
tion is thrust forward, From whom should he 
learn the story of life? 
The importance of this question appears 
when we inquire where boys who are left to their 
own devices get their information regarding sex. 
It is always from other children, or from foul- 
minded older boys and men, and always in an 
evil way, “in the lurking places of the villages.” 
The little gang gets together in their hiding 
place or shanty or around their “secret hoard.” 
Or two or three boys get away together into the 
woods or sleep together. Or a “hired man” or a 
hostler fills up the lad’s mind with the vulgar 
description of reproduction and sex life. Count- 
less hoys will confirm these and similar sources 
as those from which they derived their first 
knowledge of their sexual organs and powers. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
39 
And all this time the one person who, under 
normal conditions knows the problems of a boy’s 
life best, loves the boy most, and would be best 
able to help him, the boy’s own father, is either 
oblivious to the situation or silent through fear 
or false modesty or ignorance as to how to go at 
the matter. This is nothing less than a tragic loss 
to both the boy and the man. Each misses an op- 
portunity and a privilege which neither can af- 
ford to let slip. A man never can appreciate his 
boy more truly and deeply than when he breaks 
over his reserve and tells the little fellow what 
his male life means and what his mother has done 
for them both in bringing her son into the world. 
And a boy who has shared the profoundest 
knowledge of existence with a clean heart with 
his “dad” will be a better youth and a nobler 
father in his turn. Instead of being an embar- 
rassment or a trial, this experience of unfolding 
the meaning of life on the part of the father be- 
comes a veritable sacrament of manly sympathy 
and understanding between the two who share it 
with pure minds. 
Who Shall Break the Ice?—The question, 
Who shall seek the interview? is important. It 
is quite unlikely that the initial approach will be 
made on the part of the boy. The first informa- 
tion that he picks up is generally so shrouded in 40 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
mystery and often in shame that he is naturally 
timid about bringing the subject to his father 
or mother. Quite often it is the member of the 
gang who first “put him wise” with whom he 
talks the matter over. 
So, in a majority of cases the father has the 
problem on his hands of making the approach, 
breaking the ice, and leading the boy from timid- 
ity to clear thinking and happy confidence in the 
matter of his own sex life and relations. 
A man ought to recognize the fact that the 
initial responsibility rests with him and therefore 
study the best way in which to discharge it. And 
it is a real help for the father to know that, in 
spite of the shyness and reticence which the boy 
displays, he truly would like to know all about 
himself. If he is told in a frank and manly way, 
he will welcome the statement from the lips of his 
father. This gives a certain measure of encour- 
agement to a man who may feel hesitant about 
beginning what in the nature of the case is a deli- 
cate task. To be sure that the boy would hon- 
estly be glad to hear the story will help one to 
begin to tell it. 
The situation has been put clearly by a recent 
writer, who says: 
“When a boy has reached a school age and 
associates with older boys, things begin to as- WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
41 
sume more natural proportions and the world 
takes on a more real aspect. Then it is the boy- 
wants more material explanations, demands 
practical truths. A man can ill afford to allow 
vulgar representations of these most sacred 
truths to be given to his boy by his companions, 
but he may rest assured they will be, and the boy 
will listen unless this has been forestalled by 
knowledge given by a wise parent. Fortunate is 
the boy whose father is a companion to him. The 
man who can break away from his business cares, 
take long walks with him, talking about the won- 
ders and mysteries of nature, gradually leading 
up to nature’s method of reproducing her kind, 
and teaching him the sacredness of the human 
body, will be fully repaid for the effort.”* 
How Early Shall the Story be Told?— 
Perhaps the next question that arises is, How 
early should the questions be answered and the 
story told? In general it is safe to reply, Earlier 
than most parents expect. When Bisseker says 
that after fourteen a boy should understand the 
story of life and the realities of sex, he does not 
reckon sufficiently with the fact that the majority 
of boys by the time they reach the age of eight 
have picked up a fairly complete body of sex 
knowledge from their companions. Therefore the 
* ‘ ‘ Truths ’ ’ by E. B. Lowry. Chicago: Forbes and Co. 1912. 42 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
beginning of the process of informing a boy’s 
mind should date from an early age. By the time 
a boy is six years old he has asked the questions, 
“Where did the chicken come from?” and “What 
does it mean to be born?” And when he asks 
these questions he ought to receive some kind of 
an answer, sufficient to satisfy him for the time 
being, and an answer that looks fearlessly to 
more statements that are to follow it in due 
order. 
Therefore it is apparent that there are vary- 
ing degrees in which the story ought to be told. 
A boy may be informed that the stork did not 
bring the baby but that it came from the moth- 
er’s body without going on at that time to reveal 
the details of the process by which a human ovum 
becomes fertile. All this may be reserved for the 
time when the main facts of biology have become 
known under their popular names rather than by 
their technical descriptions. 
We believe, however, that the whole story may 
be told with safety to a boy of eight, and that 
there is no safety for him unless as early as that 
time he knows why he is a boy and what part he 
has to perform in life because of that fact. And 
if a father will tell his boy the story it will be an 
experience mutually enriching and a happy 
memory in the years that follow it. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
43 
How Shall the Ice be Broken?—Of course 
it will be necessary to “break the ice.” To get 
started under favorable conditions is the first 
great step in the telling of the story of life. A 
father discovered quite accidentally, for example, 
that his boy’s mind was being filled with vulgar 
ideas about his sex life, What was to be done? 
The first impulse was to censure the lad. But 
clearly, that was not the wise way to get at the 
problem. The boy was not vicious; he was sim- 
ply the victim of the conditions in the place 
where the gang had their hang-out. Then, too, 
the boy’s fine sense of justice must not be out- 
raged from the beginning. So the father waited 
and worked for the time when he could be with 
his boy alone under most friendly and favorable 
conditions. Then he began in a kind way to 
connect up with what he knew the boys had been 
talking about when they were where they thought 
that no one could hear them. He showed the 
boy that he wanted only to tell him truly about 
the things that has been put falsely into his mind 
by his chums. He did not blame them or his boy; 
but he appealed to the lad’s desire to know every- 
thing in the right way rather than in the wrong 
way. So the talk was a success. 
Starting on Common Ground.—The best 
way to “break the ice” is, of course, to let the 44 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
conversation spring out of some common experi- 
ence that the father and the boy have both had. 
And it is more than likely that, if the father will 
remember his own childhood, he will find himself 
quickly on common ground with the boy who is 
repeating his own hard experiences. Or some 
fact connected with reproduction in nature 
gives an excellent way of starting off. Or in 
many instances some question asked by the boy 
may be directed into the subject that needs to be 
talked over. There are numberless ways in which 
to get started if the man is only alert and the boy 
is honest and responsive, as is almost always the 
case. 
Three Principles.—In concluding the con- 
sideration of the phase of the subject discussed in 
this chapter, we lay emphasis upon three princi- 
ples which may be used to guide one who is seek- 
ing to tell the story of life to a boy. 
The first is delicacy. We are dealing with a 
subject about which refined persons do not talk 
freely. This is not because the subject has any- 
thing about it that is disgraceful. Let this point 
always be kept in mind. We do not talk about 
these matters because they are shameful; but be- 
cause they belong in the area of life that is re- 
served from common thought and talk. Just as 
certain parts of the body are kept covered, not WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
45 
because they are a cause of shame, but because 
the delicate sense of what is fitting makes it ha- 
bitual, so these matters are held in fine reserve 
because it fits their character. So we must be sure 
that not the least color of coarseness comes into 
the conversation if we are talking with a boy on 
matters of sex. The moment that any least 
vulgarity steals in, the beauty of the relation is 
lost. 
Next, the story must be told thoughtfully. 
It is an exacting task and the greatest amount 
of careful thought must be given to the method, 
the language, the very figures that are used in 
setting the truth before a boy. Each man must 
tell it in his own way. We shall make some sug- 
gestions in the following pages; but they are only 
hints. No step ought to be taken in telling the 
story without most careful study as to the im- 
pression that will be made, the way in which it 
will lead to the right result, and the real worth 
of it in the process of revelation of the truth. 
Finally, the story must be told frankly. As 
naturally and honestly as we would talk about 
the circulation of the blood, the care of the body, 
or even a fishing trip, we must talk about the 
origin of human life and the sexual functions 
that the boy must understand how to control. For 
the anatomy and physiology of these bodily or- 46 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
gans and the reproduction of life are as much 
and as noble a part of ourselves, as we have said 
already, and are to be mentioned as frankly as 
are any other organs and functions. Only it must 
be done with the sensitive thoughtfulness of in- 
stinctive reserve. These never may become the 
subjects of common conversation; they are kept 
for the sacred hour when the father and his boy 
think together of one of the greatest subjects that 
ever can draw them close to one another. Boy Insurance. CHAPTER IV 
‘Where Do Babies Come From? 
The Circumstances of This Talk.— 
Here we are making bold to report the ac- 
tual effort that was made by a father to 
talk with his boy, aged eight, who had put 
the above question squarely to him in a friendly 
mood. The man had thought over the matter at 
length and was sure in his own mind that the way 
to make the subject clear and clean was to pre- 
sent it in the terms of the simple knowledge of 
life that the boy possessed. If the talk was to be 
of any practical use it must connect with what 
the boy already knew. The man was not a 
scientist. He never had made any extensive 
study of biology. He had only tried to think 
his way along the process of reproduction as it 
may be read about in popular books on biology. 
He was not skilled in the use of his pencil and 
the one or two simple diagrams that he used were 
drawn on the back of an envelope. 
The report of what he said was written down 
soon afterward. The following words are close 
to the original language of the simple talk. The 
47 48 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
man had gone over the steps of the story so care- 
fully in his own mind that there could be little 
possibility of confusion. The talk was practically 
as follows: 
A Fair Question.—Papa, where do babies 
come from? 
Well, laddie, you have asked me one of the 
most interesting questions in the world, and I am 
glad that you brought it to me. You have the 
right to know, too, and I will tell you now that I 
have hoped for a long time that some day we 
might sit down together and talk it over like 
good chums. For I wanted to know about this 
same subject when I was your age and I did not 
ask the right one to tell me, so that I got a lot of 
wrong ideas in my mind. But you and I are not 
going to make that mistake and we will try to 
understand all about it together. 
All living things have babies, that is, they 
bring other forms of life like themselves into 
being. When you go on farther in school you 
will learn about this most interesting process 
upon which all life depends; for if it were not 
for this power to replace those who die, all life 
would perish in time. 
The Simplest Example.—Now let me show 
you the simplest way in which babies come into 
the world. It would be impossible to see what WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
49 
goes on in the body of this living thing if it were 
not for the microscope. But with the aid of this, 
we can see how a very small animal known as the 
amoeba divides itself into two parts and so it may 
be said that the baby amoeba comes from the body 
of the parent by division. I can show you how 
this is done by drawing a sketch with my pencil. 
I know you saw it all quicker than I was able 
to draw it; but the four steps in bringing an 
amoeba baby into existence are most interesting. 
The parent began to divide its own body until at 
last it had split up into two parts and each of 
these had become a distinct living being. 
The Next Step.—But this is only a very sim- 
ple kind of living thing. When we come to the 
forms that are higher we find quite a different 
way of bringing new beings into life. Perhaps I 
can show this best by taking a flower and study- 
ing its parts. We can draw a little diagram of 
this with a pencil and it will help to make the 
matter clear. 
I cannot finish this little diagram; but you 
will see the wonderful parts of the flower that 50 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
are necessary in order that there may be seeds 
from which should come baby plants. The 
amoeba divided its own body to make new living 
bodies. The flower has done something almost 
the same. Only it has set apart two of its dif- 
ferent sections in order that one may grow seeds 
and the other may grow pollen; and unless these 
two come together in some way there can be no 
new plants growing later from the seeds. Notice 
how the unripened seeds are all packed into a 
chamber, which is marked O and called the 
ovary, because the Latin word ovum means an 
egg or a seed. Right above this ovary reaches 
up a stalk that has a moist end to which anything 
could easily stick. The other part of the flower 
has little pouches on the end in which there is a 
fine dust called pollen. I have marked that P. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
51 
And when the wind shakes the flower or a bee 
comes buzzing along and disturbs it hunting for 
sweet juice, the dust from the pouches falls on 
the moist end of the stalk and something wonder- 
ful happens. It begins to work down through 
the stalk until it finds the eggs or seeds packed 
away in the ovary. When these come together, 
we say that the seed has been made fertile, that 
is, under right conditions it will spring into life 
and a new plant will grow from it. No one can 
tell just what has happened or why it is that the 
dust from the pouch and the egg in the ovary 
must come together before the seed ever can 
grow into a new plant; but it is so. And the im- 
portant part of the flower is not the beautiful 
petals, but the little sacks for the dust and the 
little case for the seeds. All the rest of the flower 
is simply to help these two parts do their work 
in making fertile seeds. 
Going on to the Fishes.—Now we are able 
to take another step from the flowers to the 
fishes. You have seen pictures of the places 
where the sun-fish clean off the pebbles and get 
a place ready for their nests. We watched them 
last summer and saw how they guarded these 
places from enemies. Now when the fish are 
ready to set up housekeeping above the clean 
pebbles, the mother fish forces the eggs out of her 52 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
body. For just as the flower has a place called 
the ovary where the seeds are packed away, so 
the mother fish has a place in her body where the 
eggs are grown until they are ready to be laid. 
And just as the flower had a pouch in which the 
dust-like pollen grew, so the father fish has a 
place in his body where something like it is stored 
up. And as the seed could never grow unless the 
dust should come upon it, so the egg of the fish 
that has grown in the mother’s body never could 
become fertile and hatch unless the fluid from the 
body of the father fish should reach it. 
Now this power to grow the eggs, or ova as 
they are called, and the dust or fluid, or sperms 
as they are called, makes the difference between 
fathers and mothers. Another name for this dif- 
ference is sex. And the one truth that we must 
keep in mind is that eggs can never become fer- 
tile unless the sperms reach them. 
Making Eggs Fertile.—Well, as the mother 
fish forces the eggs from her body the father fish 
deposits in the water near and above them a 
whitish fluid called milt. Just as soon as any of 
this comes in contact with the eggs, the same 
thing happens that took place in the flower when 
the pollen touched the seeds; they become fertile 
and under the proper conditions little fish hatch 
from the fertile eggs. But, you see, instead of WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
53 
having the egg place and the pollen place close 
beside each other in one living thing, as they were 
in the flower, they are now separated, and each 
has its own place, one in the body of the female 
or mother fish, the other in the body of the male 
or father fish. 
Still Another Step in the Story.—Now try 
to keep what I have just told you clearly in your 
mind as we go on to the next step in the story. 
You remember the robin’s nest that you and sis- 
ter watched last summer. The birds were so busy 
and clever as they built it. We spoke of the way 
they were building their house in the maple tree. 
Then one day we saw as we looked down from 
the attic window there was a blue egg in the nest. 
Soon there were more. Then for a long time, it 
seemed to us as we watched, one of the birds 
stayed on the nest all the time. And at last we 
saw four homely, blind, hungry birds in the nest. 
After that the robins were hard at work all day 
finding all kinds of food and carrying it to the 
little birds that seemed never to have enough to 
eat and grew so fast that they crowded the nest 
soon. 
As we talked about our robin family I told 
you that the little birds were hatched from the 
four blue eggs and that the mother bird had laid 
them from her own body in the nest. We did not 54 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
talk much about this; but now that we are trying 
to understand how all living things come into 
being, we ought to understand just what this 
means. I have shown you how there is a place 
in the flower called the ovary where the seeds are, 
and how the seeds waited until the dust came to 
make them fertile, that is, to make it possible for 
them to grow under the right conditions into new 
flowers. Then we saw how there is a place in 
the body of the fish where the eggs grow, and 
how they also must have the milt touch them, in 
order that they might hatch into little fishes. So 
in the body of the mother bird, there is a place 
where the eggs grow. And in the body of the 
father-bird there is a place like the pouch in the 
flower and the fish, where the little sperms grow 
which are able to make the egg have the wonder- 
ful power to hatch. So all the animals, including 
human beings, who have the egg place in their 
bodies are called females, or girls, or mothers, as 
I have just told you. And all that have the fluid 
place where the sperms grow are called males or 
boys or fathers. 
But the most wonderful fact of all is the way 
in which the egg was made fertile, so that it could 
hatch into the baby bird. In the case of the 
flower, the seed was made fertile when the dust 
reached it. In the case of the fish, the egg was WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
55 
made fertile when the white fluid came upon it 
as it had been laid from the mother’s body. And 
the same is true about the egg of the robin; only, 
instead of putting the sperms on the eggs just 
as it left the mother’s body, as the fish did, the 
father robin placed the sperms in the mother’s 
body before the egg shell was closed. If this had 
not been done the egg never would have hatched 
into a robin. 
Where the Calf Came From.—And now 
I think we can go on still farther with the story. 
When we were at Uncle’s farm last summer, you 
remember he told you early one morning that 
there was a new little calf out at the barn and 
that you might name it if you wanted to. You 
children went out as soon as you could and found 
the mother cow and the calf with the wobbly legs. 
You asked all sorts of questions and learned that 
the calf had been born in the night. And when 
you asked George where the calf really came 
from, he only laughed and said, “Blew in through 
the window, kiddie.” That did not satisfy you, 
I know; for your question was a fair one and you 
have the right to get an answer. So I am telling 
you where the calf really did come from. It 
came from the body of the mother, and the cow 
“laid” it, like the mother fish or the mother bird, 
only it was “hatched” in her body before it came 56 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
out. For the cow is like the flower and the fish 
and the bird in this, that she has an egg place in 
her body where the little unformed eggs are kept. 
And if one of these eggs is made fertile it will be- 
gin to grow until, in the course of time, it be- 
comes so strong that it does not need to be taken 
care of inside the mother’s body and can come out 
to live for itself. This is what it means for the 
calf to be born. And just as there is in the body 
of the male robin a place in which the sperms 
grow that can make the egg fertile, so there is a 
place in the body of the bull where the sperms are 
made. And if these are placed near the egg in 
the mother’s body it starts to become a calf. 
The Lust Step.—And now I come to the part 
of this story that is the hardest to make plain; but 
it is really the most important and I am most 
anxious to have you understand it. It is because 
you are my boy and I love you so much that lam 
trying to help you understand something that you 
have a right to know and about which other boys 
may tell you all kinds of wrong stories. Only 
what I am going to tell you now is something 
that you will keep as a kind of friendship secret 
between you and me, that is, I want you to prom- 
ise that you will not talk about this with other 
boys or with sister. This is not because it is in 
any way a subject about which to be ashamed. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
57 
Nor is it wrong at all. But jt is one of the mat- 
ters that we do not talk about except with some 
few persons who love us and whom we trust. You 
will not think or talk about it very much anyway; 
but when you do speak of it, come to me with 
your questions and I will answer all of them. 
You remember when you children went to 
grandma’s last year, you were so surprised that 
you found a baby sister here when you came 
back. You wondered if the doctor brought her; 
you guessed that the angels came carrying her 
to us from heaven; and we both told you truly 
then that God had sent her to us all. 
And God did send her; but she came in the 
way that living things come into the world. She 
came out from mama’s own body, in which there 
is a place where little eggs are kept, as they are 
in all mothers. If one of these is made fertile it 
will begin to grow and in time the little baby is 
ready to come out where it can be taken care of 
by the family. It is weaker than the calf and 
needs more care than almost any other baby 
animal. 
Where the Baby Came From.—Now I will 
tell you the most wonderful and beautiful part 
of the story. The little egg in the mother’s body 
becomes fertile when sperms from the body of 
the father come into contact with it. There is a 58 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
place in my body where these sperms grow and 
this is why I was able to be your father. You grew 
from a tiny egg in mama’s body which had been 
made fertile by sperms from mine. This is the 
reason why mama is the dearest of all women to 
you and why I want you to love and trust me 
better than any other man you ever will know. 
We made it possible for you to live. We have 
taken care of you all these years and you will 
always be our own son. 
The Heart of the Story.—But now if I 
were to leave the story just here and let you won- 
der and guess how the egg became fertile, I think 
it would not be fair to you. So I am going on a 
little farther. The reason why sister is a girl and 
you are a boy is not because she wears skirts and 
you wear trousers; or because she wears her hair 
in a braid and yours is cut short. But it is be- 
cause in her body there is a place where the little 
eggs will grow and in yours is a place where the 
sperms are made. You must not try to find out 
just yet any more about that place in the body of 
a girl; but if you want later to know more about 
this, come to me with the questions and do not 
ask other boys. 
Our Secret.—But there are a few things 
that I want to tell you about your own body. If 
you hear boys talking about this subject, go away WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
59 
or do not listen; but come to me instead. Inside 
your body and so out of sight are glands that 
make the sperms. And outside are the parts 
where your legs separate from your body. These 
are what make you a boy and always will keep 
you a man. And these are the parts of your body 
that you must treat in the noblest way. Some- 
time there may come strong feelings there, and 
you will want to put your hands on these parts 
of your body. Every boy has these temptations. 
Do not be ashamed of it. The only badness or 
shame connected with this is to think about the 
matter much or to yield to the temptation to rub 
or play with yourself. If other boys try to get 
you to talk about this subject or to do any of 
these things, never join them. All you need to 
say is that you understand all about it, and refuse 
to be with them if they keep on. You must fight 
like a good soldier to keep your body healthy and 
clean and your mind full of good thoughts. 
Once more, be sure that you honor and re- 
spect all girls and never think of them except as 
nobly as you would of mama and sister. This is 
the only way you can regard them if you get the 
idea of the way in which they may sometime be 
the mothers of little children, and sometime one 
of them may live with you and give you the right 
to be as happy and proud with your own boys and 
girls as we are with you children. 60 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
This is only the beginning of the story of 
where babies come from. What I want you to 
be sure of is that it is a good and beautiful story 
and that you can always trust me to tell you more 
about it as you need to know. I love you and 
you must never have any feeling of shame in 
coming to me about this side of your life. Talk 
with me and not with your chums. And so let 
us call this the one subject that you and I will 
always share as our own. There is nothing that 
ever need make us fear one another. CHAPTER V 
Calling Things by Their Right Names 
In thinking and speaking 
about the matter of sex it is im- 
possible not to be struck by the 
fact that we have no current vo- 
cabulary that is scientific. A 
careful study of the talk of boys 
from grammar school age up 
shows that whenever they speak of subjects con- 
nected with sex, they use words which are gen- 
erally coined for the purpose or are perverted 
terms from common life. For example, the word 
“heart” is common in medical science and in com- 
mon conversation and mean practically the same 
thing. But the various words that are used for 
the parts of the male organs of sex have no such 
stability. The scientific term 'penis, which ought 
to be familiar to any well informed boy, is, so 
far as we have been able to learn, quite unknown 
until long after the many vulgar terms for the 
same object have been made part of a boy’s vo- 
cabulary. 
Why the Right Names Are Not Used.— 
61 62 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
There are many reasons to account for this. The 
sense of mystery and the thought of sex as some- 
thing of which to be ashamed have resulted in 
the creation of a vocabulary for the subject which 
either perverts common words to a bad use or 
creates a peculiar vocabulary, is often differ- 
ent according to locality. 
Of course there is the childish tendency to 
learn and use the “bad word.” Perhaps it is the 
sense of mystery in the fact of sex; perhaps it is 
the desire to possess something which may be 
gloated over as a secret; but in any case, the use 
of the vocabulary of sex and sex relations comes 
early into the experience of children. 
A Sensible Proposition.—So here is one of 
the first problems connected with the training of 
children at home. It is better to use the terms 
which scientific usage has agreed upon clearly 
than it is to get along with the popular substitutes 
or the coarse inventions. There is no use beating 
around the bush in talking with children about 
their*own bodies. It may seem easier to speak of 
a child’s navel or umbilicus as its “belly-button” 
or “dimple”; but it is nothing but folly in the 
end. As a matter of fact, it generally gets the 
child and his teachers and parents into trouble. 
The scientific words have a definite meaning; 
these may be found in the dictionary. Hence this The Hand that Rocks the Cradle is the Hand that 
Rules the World. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
63 
is the vocabulary and the only one which it is 
safe to use. 
Perhaps there is no point at which a boy has a 
harder time to get the right terms in his mind 
than in connection with the female organs of sex. 
Parents may say, “But a boy should think or 
know nothing about these subjects.” If anyone 
makes that proposition, it is safe in the majority 
of cases to ask the simple question, “Did you 
never as a boy see or hear or know anything about 
the reproductive organs of the female? Did the 
Bible never give you the word womb for your vo- 
cabulary as you heard it read?” As a matter of 
experience, every boy has to run into these terms 
and ideas; he cannot avoid them. He picks up 
the vulgar substitutes for them early and they 
are in his mind. So, whatever parents may be in- 
clined to hold as theory, they have something to 
do practically to straighten out the vocabulary of 
their children. 
A Concrete Example.—To make it concrete 
therefore, every boy has the right to know that 
the words uterus or womb refer to the inner or- 
gans of sex in the female and that the word vulva 
means the external organs. More than this is not 
necessary; but this much it is fair to the boy to 
let him know and his father ought to be the one 
to tell him. There is no more reluctance to be THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
64 
shown in using these established and definite 
words of the English language than in the re- 
ference to the lungs or the heart. 
And it is in this way that we are to overcome 
the use of the unprintable vocabulary which 
passes current around the livery stable and even 
among the boys themselves. The terms that are 
used we cannot even print here, for they would 
serve no purpose. But the facts that they rep- 
resent are a part of life and either the perverted 
words or the right words must be employed. Par- 
ents are the ones to determine which it shall be. 
Let us take up, then, certain problems that 
teachers and parents must meet in this line of in- 
struction. 
Vulgar Symbols.—First, comes the use of 
signs and vulgar terms which are often seen where 
ever young children have chalk and can mark 
when they are not being watched. Every adult 
who grew up under the conditions that obtained 
in the country school with its dry out-house, 
knows too well how often the various symbols of 
the sex organs and the vulgar vocabulary of sex 
relationships were to be met there. But the bet- 
ter conditions that prevail in the finely equipped 
buildings of the modern city have not overcome 
this disgusting habit of the small child with chalk 
and knife at hand. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
65 
We have been watching this particular matter 
for some weeks in a locality near the University 
of Chicago. On the morning after Hallowe’en, 
1916, the work of the scribblers with chalk was 
especially in evidence. At times it was simply 
an obscene word; often it was one of the most 
common symbols of the female organs of sex; oc- 
casionally it was a sentence linking two names to- 
gether. These inscriptions were on walls, on the 
walks in the University grounds in one case, and 
on surfaces of every kind where it was easy to 
write. 
One of the worst features of this exhibition 
was the character of the hand-writing involved. 
It was apparent from a careful study of the script 
that nearly all of it had been done by children 
in the lower grades of the schools. It was in 
almost every instance childish writing. The 
meaning of this fact is self evident: those who 
think that children remain innocent in matters of 
sex until the “teens” need only to study the 
writing on walls at such times. The character 
of this makes it apparent that children are in 
possession of the vulgar vocabulary and symbols 
of sex at an early age. 
Talk It Over With the Boy.—So every 
father ought to talk with his boy about the way 
in which he may keep from the use of this vocab- 66 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
ulary and sign-language of sex. While we are 
not so over-confident as to think that the mere 
possession of right information will keep a boy 
from the scrawling of vulgarity in public places, 
surely it is not too much to claim that the mastery 
of the right names and ideas in matters of sex 
will help to prevent him from doing it himself 
or of standing by while others deface walls and 
walks by coarse words and signs. Many a boy 
has been led into the use of vile language, and 
habits because he did not understand what it all 
meant. And so in this particular matter, the 
boy has the right to know what he is doing when 
he fills his mind with wrong words for good 
things. 
In case a father is convinced that his boy has 
fallen into the habit of using “smutty” language 
and WTiting or printing sex words and symbols, 
what is to be done ? It is a hard and humiliating 
experience, especially if a sensitive mother is com- 
pelled to share the knowledge. But it must be 
met in the best way by parents. There are cer- 
tain suggestions that must be borne in mind. 
In the first place, hard and humiliating as 
it is, do not accept this as the evidence that the 
boy is depraved. The matter must not be taken 
too lightly or too seriously. To pass it by en- 
tirely as one of the mild mistakes of childhood WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
67 
that will be outgrown, is as serious a blunder as 
it is to think of it as a sign that the lad is com- 
pletely disgraced and debauched. There are 
probably reasons for the act and one of the first 
steps to take is to learn if possible what influences 
set him into the path that he may have been fol- 
lowing for some time. 
The Sins of Ignorance.—It is quite likely 
that he does not really know what he is doing. 
That is, the bad practice may be essentially a 
sin of ignorance. In that case the solution of 
the problem is an easy one. The boy ought to 
be told what he is doing and there ought not to 
be any excuse on the ground of ignorance. This 
is no easy matter. To tell him the whole truth 
plainly and to clear his mind of any mistakes 
that he may be making through ignorance re- 
quires only the loving frankness that we have 
been urging on the part of the father. 
It is quite possible that the trouble goes back 
to the associates of the boy. The gang may be 
under the control of a boy with a foul mind. To 
discover this may not be an easy matter; yet a 
wise man who will work carefully generally can 
get at the situation by careful inquiry. If he 
finds that the group to which the boy belongs has 
fallen into the habit of vulgarity, it will be neces- 
sary either to break up the association or to 68 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
change the temper of the gang. Boys are loyal 
to their groups and to forbid associations without 
giving sufficient reasons may be to turn into a 
secret association what is now open. By far the 
better solution, if it can be reached, is to capture 
the confidence of the gang leader and to clean 
up the whole trouble without trying to break the 
group. 
The Influence of Older Comrades.—In 
some cases the trouble is with an older boy and 
sometimes the pernicious influence comes from 
an older girl. Something must be done if pos- 
sible to break the relationship in a case like this, 
unless (which is generally most difficult) the 
older person may be cleaned up. 
Above all, do not make haste in a case like 
this. Under the sting of regret and shame a 
man tends to rush in and give a boy a sharp talk 
and sometimes a whipping, rashly doing more 
harm than good in many cases. It is far better 
to make haste slowly and to study the situation 
with great care before deciding what should be 
done. Many a man has come home tired from 
his day’s work, learned of some case of vulgar 
action by his boy, and pitched in without reflec- 
tion or knowledge, thinking that he could clean 
the whole matter up by a brief infliction of physi- 
cal punishment. Sometimes this is effective; but WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
69 
more often it only embitters the boy and does not 
stop him from his practice. 
What is needed is the careful consideration 
of the problem and the suiting of the discipline 
to the deed. It may be that physical punishment 
is a part of the treatment that ought to be given 
to the case; but if this is so, the whipping ought 
to come in some other way than in the heat of 
sudden anger. And in the majority of cases we 
are sure that it is the firm and quiet talk, perhaps 
given more than once, that will rectify the trouble. 
The Subjects That We Seldom Talk 
About.—Out of this talk ought to come at least 
this clear understanding: THERE ARE 
SOME SUBJECTS ABOUT WHICH WE 
DO NOT TALK WITH OUR CHUMS. We 
are anxious to make this clear even at the cost 
of repetition. It is necessary to show a boy that 
silence regarding a subject does not mean that 
the subject is not good in itself, but, rather, that 
it is something that ought to be kept from com- 
mon talk. One of the best ways in which to 
make this clear to a boy is to illustrate it from 
the life of the family. Every boy learns that 
there are matters connected with the daily life 
of the family that he is not to talk about among 
the neighbors. This is not because the subjects 
are not perfectly honorable; but they belong to 70 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
the family and the neighbors have no right to 
be curious about them. So this subject of the 
origin of life and of the sex of boys and girls 
is one that does not belong among those which 
may be talked about freely. Or, to take another 
line of illustration: every boy knows that there 
are some matters that he likes to keep as the 
common property of his group. Perhaps it is 
a pass-word; it may be the hiding place of some- 
thing which is regarded as a treasure, not because 
it is worth so much, but because only the group 
knows where it is hidden. It is nothing wrong 
in itself. On the contrary, it is good and right; 
but the secret about it belongs to the little group 
of friends and they do not talk it over with others. 
It is their secret. 
But They Are Good and Clean Never- 
theless.—So we want to lift the whole subject 
of sex out of the realm of those things that are 
mysterious and perhaps wrong just because there 
is so much mystery connected with them, into the 
world of those matters that are all good and pure, 
but about which we do not talk much. If we 
talk about them at all, we always use the words 
that are accepted as correct and think with the 
ideas that are right, according to science. 
In this way only shall we be able to couple 
a clean mind with the right use of the words that WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
71 
must be employed if we are to call things by their 
right names. And to get this clearly into the 
mental and moral standards of a boy is worth 
the most careful and patient personal effort of 
which the wisest and most loving father is 
capable. CHAPTER VI 
The Change Into Manhood 
“Be Prepared.”—If 
there is a lonely time in 
the life of a boy when 
he needs sympathy and 
knowledge, there is also 
one way above all others 
to help him meet it: he 
must be prepared by in- 
formation given in the 
right way and by the 
right persons to pass 
through the experience 
of the change into manhood. 
It is not necessary that every detail of the 
great change should be given to him; but the 
main facts about it and the bearing of the whole 
on his problems ought to be known by him. 
Let no father underestimate the importance 
of the right degree of preparation in the task 
that his boy has ahead of him. For the change 
is radical and it tests all the reserves in physical 
strength and mental control that the boy has. It 
73 74 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
is not merely physical; it is emotional and social 
and moral also. It is a change in body; but it 
is also a transformation in soul. 
Therefore the preparation for it must go to 
the root of the matter and be thorough enough 
so that it will afford help in meeting the whole 
problem. A man must remember the stormy 
years of his own transition into manhood and not 
forget what new worlds he entered into during 
these great years of youth. 
What Is Youth?—There have been many 
divisions suggested for the proper classifications 
of the years between birth and the attainment 
of full manhood. The latter limit is now gener- 
ally set at about twenty-five. Therefore what 
are the periods into which these twenty-five years 
may be divided? 
Roughly speaking, and recognizing that the 
limits for girls and boys are not the same, we 
may divide first at the beginning of the “teens,” 
that is at the end of the twelfth year, and, second, 
at the end of seventeen. 
There are other divisions suggested by 
students of child life, and these must all be varied 
in individual cases. We cannot set any limits 
which can he observed with no variation. One 
boy may mature several years ahead of another 
who is backward in attaining the powers of man- WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
75 
hood. However, we are safe in the majority of 
cases if we observe these divisions. 
By youth we mean the years from about 
thirteen to nearly twenty-five. This is what is 
known to students as adolescence, which simply 
indicates the process and the period of growing 
up or becoming an adult. 
Understanding the Change j—We have 
shown the importance of giving a boy early 
knowledge of the story of life, certainly as early 
as the age of eight and in many cases earlier. 
Now we pass to a second experience in the 
father’s relations with his boy as he tells him how 
to be prepared to meet the experience of passing 
into manhood. 
All that we have said in previous chapters 
about the spirit in which the confidence is to be 
exchanged needs to be emphasized again. There 
ought to be no embarrassment about it. It is 
as clean and manly to talk about the growth and 
the functions of the organs of sex as it is to dis- 
cuss the physical methods by which the body is 
to be brought into trim to play a good game of 
golf or to swim a long stretch. There ought not 
to be any more reluctance to open the subject 
of the change into manhood and to talk it 
through, calling things by their right names, than 
there is in speaking of a camping trip or a ball 
game. 76 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
Therefore, we suggest the following as a 
manly and direct way of preparing a boy to meet 
the change into manhood. The lad we have in 
mind is ten years old and his father and he are 
together where they are sure to have about an 
hour without interruption. 
“When Shall I Begin to Shave?”—You 
asked me this morning when you would begin 
to shave; and I have been thinking that wre ought 
to talk it all over when we could get time. Sup- 
pose we try to understand it all, now that we are 
here together. 
You will begin to shave when the hair on 
your face commences to grow, and would look 
unpleasant if it were not cut off with a razor. 
But that is only one of the changes that will be 
taking place at about the same time. Your whole 
body will be passing through a time of growth 
that you must know about. You will also need to 
know about the way in which your mind will also 
act. This is the great change into manhood. 
You always have wanted to be a man, and 
the time will come now in a few years, almost too 
quickly. But you must not think that it will be 
upon you and complete itself all at once. It is a 
long process. You must be willing to wait and be 
patient. Ten years in all will probably pass by 
before you have grown from a boy into a man. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
77 
And one of the ways in which you can be sure 
to pass through this hard time in your life is by 
knowing what it means, understanding the 
changes that are coming and so meeting them 
wisely. 
First, then, you must understand that during 
this time and by means of these changes nature 
is preparing you for the greatest and noblest 
purpose for which you could live, that is, to 
become the father of children who shall help make 
the world better. This may seem to you a some- 
what indefinite claim upon your interest and 
action; but if you will think about it carefully, 
you will see that it is one of the most important 
principles that could guide you in your life. If 
the little animal called the amoeba divides itself 
in order that there may be two living beings, how 
much more important is it that you should be 
able to give a part of yourself that a child may 
live. 
The Growth of Hair.—One of the changes 
which will come to you will be the beginning of 
the growth of hair on your face and around the 
organs which make you a boy. It may be that 
you will be obliged to endure a little teasing on 
the subject; but you must not be troubled at 
that. I shall be quite proud of the fact that you 
are growing toward manhood, This is one of 78 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
the signs that your body is getting ready to per- 
form its great part in keeping up the succession 
of living human beings. So when the time comes 
that the downy hairs begin to show on your face, 
shave them off and keep your face clean. Do 
not interfere with their growth on any other parts 
of your body. 
Change of Voice.—Then your voice will 
change. If you sang in a boy choir, you will be 
surprised at the way your notes will crack some- 
times. You will be obliged to stop singing for 
a time until your vocal organs have become ad- 
justed to the changes through which your whole 
body is passing. So be careful during this time 
not to strain your voice or to sing much; it will 
all right itself if you are patient. 
If the boys try to bother you about the way 
in which your voice goes off in a squeak some- 
times, do not pay any attention to it. It will 
be some time before you get the tone that is 
going to last you as a man as long as you live. 
It takes some time for the vocal organs to grow 
accustomed to the change. 
The Awkward Age.—Soon after you have 
reached the beginning of the change into man- 
hood, you will pass through a time when you will 
probably feel as if you wrere all feet and hands 
and you will wonder if you are going to be any- WHERE DO BABIES GOME FROM? 
79 
thing else than a big awkward fellow that seems 
never to know just what to do with himself. 
The meaning of all this is that your bones are 
growing rapidly and the muscles are not able to 
keep up with them. So you do not know just 
what to do with yourself, especially if you have 
to be in society and meet people where you must 
observe the rules of etiquette. 
You will also probably be more bashful than 
ever at about this time. So the awkwardness and 
the timidity will come at the same time and one 
will make the other worse. It is not an easy 
matter to meet strangers anyway; and it is espe- 
cially difficult when one feels all the time that 
he does not know where to put his hands and 
feet or how to move around among people grace- 
fully, without breaking things or stepping on 
anyone. 
And when members of the family or your 
chums poke fun at you on account of your awk- 
wardness, it is all the harder to stand just at this 
time when you naturally feel sensitive, although 
you do not know why. You will need to fight hard 
to keep from yielding to discouragement at this 
time. Do not let the teasing of your friends 
worry you or make you more bashful and sensi- 
tive. The whole difficulty will pass away in two 
or three years and your body will become per- 80 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
fectly adjusted to the changes that are taking 
place in it. You will have no difficulty in ap- 
pearing gracefully at a party or controlling your- 
self in the presence of others as a cultivated 
gentleman. It may not look so at the moment; 
but every boy has passed through this in the same 
way in which you are meeting the change. 
Becoming a Man.—But the most important 
part of this change from boyhood into manhood 
is the sudden growth of the organs that make 
you a boy. You have hardly been aware of these 
up to this time. But now you notice first that 
the downy hair has begun to grow larger and 
longer at the base of your abdomen. Then the 
organs themselves begin to take on size. The 
testes are larger and firmer. The penis grows 
within a few months to be twice or three times 
the natural size. These are the outside changes 
that indicate that you are coming to the time 
when you will be able to secrete from the glands 
the sperms which would make an egg fertile, or, 
in other words, that you are gaining the power 
to become the father of a child. 
It is the changes inside the body, however, 
that are far more important than those outside. 
These cannot be seen and therefore they do not 
appear to be so important as they really are. 
We shall reserve the discussion of this part of WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
81 
the change into manhood for the next two chap- 
ters, in which we shall talk about the structure 
of the male organs of sex and the peculiar prob- 
lems which arise in boyhood as a result of the 
change into manhood. Only let it be kept clearly 
in mind that the unseen growth during these few 
years is more important than any of the outward 
changes which may be seen. 
The New Mental and Moral World.— 
The changes that take place in the body when a 
boy passes into manhood are not so important as 
those that transpire in his mind and in his moral 
and spiritual nature. This is the time when a 
boy suddenly finds out that the whole great world 
of which he is a part exists not only to help him 
but also that he may help it. This is sometimes 
called the dawn of the “social consciousness.” By 
this is meant the discovery of the way in which 
each one of us is related to the wonderful world 
around us. We all start to live as babies; and 
it is no wonder that the baby thinks that he 
is the center of the family and that the whole 
house is built and kept up for him. It takes a 
long time for the baby to learn that he is a part 
of the family and that he has duties to others 
as well as rights in the household. When we go 
to school we step out into a still broader sphere 
of life; and it takes time to understand there that 82 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
we must perform our part for the common life of 
the school as well as have the school give us its 
best service in training us to live well. It is 
when a boy comes to the physical change into 
manhood, however, that suddenly his mind and 
spirit are also enlarged. He begins to catch the 
thought of the great world in which he is to do 
his part as a worker and builder. He sees that 
there are obligations w hich he must meet and that 
he is to be a moral partner in making this a good 
world. 
The Soul’s Vision.—But the greatest of all 
the changes that any boy passes through in be- 
coming a man is one that it is most difficult to de- 
scribe or to classify. You remember the lines of 
Longfellow: 
“A boy’s will is the wind’s will, 
And the thoughts of youth are long, long 
thoughts.” 
Every man who can remember his boyhood 
understands what these words mean although he 
may not be able to define exactly how they ap- 
plied to any one moment or experience of the 
great change into manhood. 
One way of describing this growth of the 
sovd is to say that during these years of physical WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
83 
change a boy also discovers the reality of eternity 
and God. This is the time when a boy will per- 
haps most naturally enter into the relations of 
religion. He will be ‘‘confirmed,” or take his first 
communion or join the church. It is natural that 
he should do this. God and the unseen world are 
more real during these wonderful years than at 
any other time in all our life, excepting, perhaps, 
during a severe sickness or in old age. 
Rejoicing in the Change.—What I want 
you to understand, my boy, is that this is an ex- 
perience in which you ought to rejoice as you 
look forward to it and pass through it. And do 
not think of it as chiefly a change in your body. 
It is this, of course, and as such it is wonderful. 
We shall try to understand it from this point of 
view. But it is something far more. Nature is 
not only getting you ready to be the father of 
your own little children in the course of time and 
under the right conditions; but God is preparing 
you to take your place and do your part in the 
great world of organized society. This is the 
greatest privilege that ever can come to you. For 
it you will need a strong body unbroken by de- 
structive habits. You will need a clean, sound 
mind. You must have a manly soul. These all 
go together; one cannot be had without the other. 
In fact, to change from boyhood into man- 84 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
hood means nothing less than the growth into a 
true child of God the Heavenly Father. You 
are to take your place in the world to do his will 
and to enter into his purpose for all his children. CHAPTER VII 
The Male Organs of Sex 
The Right to Know.—We come in 
this chapter to one of the items in the 
story of life which necessarily must be 
approached and treated in the most deli- 
cate yet fair and earnest way by a boy’s father. 
For the boy has the right, as every person has 
the right, to demand that his own body shall be 
respected and treated privately. Yet boys are 
quite unlike girls in the general freedom of phys- 
ical exposure. The requirements of the swim- 
ming pools demand that no clothing shall be 
worn, and all healthy-minded boys are accus- 
tomed to see the naked bodies of their comrades, 
probably without giving any thought whatever 
to the organs of sex. Nevertheless, a boy’s right 
to delicate and sympathetic treatment ought to 
be respected. He has the full right to know 
about himself and his father is the one to tell 
him. 
85 86 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
Using a Diagram.—In talking with a boy 
about the form and function of the male organs 
of sex, it is necessary to have something to illus- 
trate the subject. It would clearly be unwise to 
point to or touch the organs themselves. Such 
liberty no wise father would take. A picture is 
not well suited to explain the subject. The best 
way in which to make the matter clear is to get a 
diagram of the essential organs, and use it as the 
basis of what is said to the boy. 
Supposing, now, that such a simple diagram 
is at hand, and that the time is right to talk with 
the boy, let us outline the progress of talk as 
follows: 
The Organs Outside the Body.—We are 
going to talk today just as plainly as we have 
done before, about the parts of your body which 
make you a boy instead of a girl and the work 
that these do in building up your own manhood 
and in making it possible sometime for you to 
have your own children. 
These organs are both outside and inside your 
body. Those that can be seen are in two parts, 
the right names of which are penis and scrotum. 
There are many other names by which they are Bladder 
Cowpers 
(Jlarid 
'■ Prolate 
i 6Uknc| j 
Seminal 
Vesicle 
/Penis J 
Testis 
/ScrotD^\ 
Diagram of Male Sexual Organs 
Note on Diagram.—This rough diagram lays no claim to 
scientific accuracy or artistic finish. It is roughly drawn in a 
few minutes from a plate to be found in any standard book on 
anatomy. The writer’s purpose is simply to have something be- 
fore the boy’s eye so that the various parts of the male sex ap- 
paratus may be pointed out. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
87 
called; but when you think of them, as may be 
necessary sometimes, and when you speak of 
them, as will be necessary very seldom, it is better 
to use the right names, as we have already agreed. 
The penis is peculiar in this, it can change its 
size quickly and greatly; this is due to the mate- 
rial of which it is made. When it is enlarged it 
is said to be erect. The end of the penis is some- 
what enlarged, has a red surface, is quite sensi- 
tive, and over it the skin is drawn in the case of 
children. Sometimes this skin sticks to the end 
and needs to be separated. If a boy cannot draw 
the skin back when he takes his bath so that he 
can wash away the cheesy matter which accumu- 
lates behind the enlarged head, he ought to have 
the doctor make the matter right. Many a boy 
would probably be kept from falling into bad 
habits if he might have this foreskin either cut off 
when a baby, that is be circumcised, or attended 
to properly by a doctor. 
Through the penis runs the channel through 
which the urine must pass from the bladder and 
also the discharges from the other glands which 
carry the sperms that are so important in the 
story of life. 
Boys sometimes think that the size of the penis 
is a sign of strength or manliness. This is not 
necessarily so. There is great difference in the 88 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
degree of development in different boys; and 
virile power does not depend upon the size of the 
organs of sex. 
The Organs Inside the Body.—The scro- 
tum is the sack of skin in which the testes or testi- 
cles are carried and protected. It is wrinkled 
and generally darker in color than the skin of the 
body. 
Coming now to the organs that are inside the 
body, wre notice on our diagram only those which 
are most important in our story. 
There are two testes, each about an inch thick 
and a little wider and longer. You can feel these 
and see their general outline, but need not handle 
them in any way. We shall see what these glands 
do later. A cord passes from each of these up 
into the body. The testes are very sensitive to 
shock and are well protected by nature so that 
they will not be injured bjr a kick or a blow. 
Men remove them from male animals for various 
purposes, but chiefly in order that the creature 
may not grow up high-strung and spirited, but 
may make a more dull and patient beast for com- 
mon use. We shall learn the reason for this later. 
The Seminal Vesicles.—On the diagram 
jmu will see the outline of a small sack, of which 
there are two. These are called the seminal ves- 
icles. It is too bad that the name must be such a WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
89 
difficult one to remember and use; but there, is 
no reason to speak of these organs often, because 
they are out of sight. Therefore there are no 
common names for them and we can use only the 
medical terms. If you forget the name, it is no 
great loss; all you need to do is to remember it 
for a short time, because we want to talk about 
the office that these two glands perform. 
The Prostate Gland.—This surrounds the 
neck of the bladder and cannot, of course, be 
seen or felt. When men get past middle life this 
gland sometimes causes trouble and needs to be 
removed by a surgical operation. But with a 
boy, like all the other organs, it shows that it is 
healthy by the fact that we are not conscious of 
possessing such an organ at all. 
What Do These Organs Do?—The most 
important facts for you to know about these 
organs is not their name and location but what 
they do in the daily life of a boy or man and how 
each has some part in the process of becoming a 
human father. The part that any organ per- 
forms in keeping up the life of the body is called 
its function; and therefore we will talk now about 
the functions of the different male organs of sex. 
When they are excited, either by the influence 
of the mind itself or by any outside cause, the 
sexual organs of a boy get ready to do their part 90 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
in placing the sperms secreted by his body on the 
ovum in the body of a female. This takes place 
in the discharge of a somewhat thick fluid, con- 
taining great numbers of these living sperms. 
Each organ has its share in the act; and I want 
you to understand it in order that you may also 
know the real meaning of some of the experi- 
ences through which you must pass. 
What Cowper’s Glands Do.—Sometimes a 
boy wakes up to find that his sex organs have be- 
come excited and erect. This may take place 
when he is awake, by the rubbing of his clothing 
when he is rowing or in other ways that involve 
no fault whatever. He will perhaps find under 
such circumstances that a slight fluid has come 
out of his body, and may fear, unless he has been 
told the truth, that he is losing something nec- 
essary to his strength and manhood. This is not 
so. The cheap doctors often excite the fears of 
boys and young men by describing this falsely. 
Never be troubled about this or go to any other 
than a reliable doctor in any case. All that has 
taken place is that Cowper’s glands have sent out 
a little slippery fluid to keep the sex organs from 
injury. This is their work. 
How the Semen is Formed.—The semen is 
the fluid that contains the sperms, or spermato- 
zoa, as they are more accurately named. These WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
91 
are the living cells which have the power to make 
the ovum fertile. They are carried in a fluid 
which is formed by the material furnished by the 
three different glands whose names we have just 
learned. 
First, the prostate gland furnishes a part of 
the material which is to give nourishment to the 
sperms so long as they live and are active. This 
food is composed of something like the white of 
egg and salts which are useful to make the sperms 
active. 
Second, the seminal vesicles also furnish a 
part of the material which is necessary to keep 
the sperms alive and active. These vesicles se- 
crete the product all the time, and therefore reg- 
ularly become so full that they cannot hold their 
contents any longer. They then discharge. But 
this is not a loss of the precious sperms and fluids 
of the testes; it is not a serious matter and must 
not be taken as such. 
Third, the testes make the most important 
contribution to this wonderful fluid. There are 
two kinds of secretion from these glands. The 
first is the living sperms and the second is some- 
thing that is poured back into the blood and takes 
a most important part in the building up of the 
strength and vigor of the body. This quality of 
a boy or man is often called virility and it depends 92 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
upon the supply of the fluid secreted by the tes- 
tes, absorbed into the blood, and so sent to build 
up every part of the body. 
Now when the sexual organs are excited to a 
sufficient degree the glands just mentioned each 
make their own contribution and the semen is 
driven out of the body. 
The Loss of Virility.—When the male ani- 
mals are deprived of their testes the result is not 
merely that they never can furnish the sperms 
which would make the female ovum fertile; but 
their whole development is changed. They are no 
longer full of vigor and spirit; but they become 
sluggish, heavy and slow. They have lost the 
power to secrete and pour into the blood the fluid 
which gives the life and energy to the body which 
we call virility. 
And whenever a boy gets into the habit of 
exciting his sexual organs in such a way that he 
loses the semen often, he misses the help of this 
fluid on which he depends to build up his vigor 
and strength. 
We have talked over the whole subject now 
and you really know all that you need to know 
about your sexual organs themselves and what 
they do. And once more I ask you not to talk 
about these subjects with the boys except you 
maf; know sometime that you can help a fellow WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
93 
understand the meaning of his own life and save 
him from habits that are unclean and unmanly. 
If that ever comes to pass and he is willing to do 
so, both of you come to me and I will go over the 
whole subject again and answer any questions 
you may have to ask me. Meantime, you know, 
this is the subject about which you and I are 
agreed that we understand it together and are 
not going to talk it over with anyone else. CHAPTER VIII 
The Sexual Problems of Boyhood 
Recognizing the Prob- 
lem.—One of the most im- 
portant items in the relation 
of a father to his boy is that 
the man should realize how 
genuine a problem the mat- 
ter of sex really is in the 
daily life of his developing 
boy. It is there, day and 
night, a mighty factor in the 
growth of the lad and occupying such a position 
in the list of forces making or unmaking the boy 
that it simply must be appreciated. Once in a 
while a boy is fortunate enough to pass through 
the stormy years of change into manhood without 
yielding to the forces either within or without 
which tend to make him indulge his passions in 
any wrong way. But so far as experience can 
report on the matter, there are very few who do 
actually escape some kind of damage during these 
years. The purpose of this chapter is to suggest 
ways in which a father can talk over with his 
95 96 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
boy the peculiar problems and struggles con- 
nected with the control of his sex desires and 
powers during the time when he is passing into 
manhood. 
Thinking About Yourself.—As we were 
talking about the change into manhood and the 
organs of sex, my boy, I was not able to say to 
you all that I wanted to tell you concerning the 
peculiar battles that you will have to fight and 
the problems that you will be compelled to solve 
as you grow up into manhood. So now I am go- 
ing to talk with you again about these. 
The first point that I want to make clear is 
that you try not to think too much about yourself 
and your development in your organs of sex. As 
you go swimming with the boys or are in the 
shower baths and the swimming pools, be careful 
not to spend time looking at other boys or think- 
ing about yourself as to whether or nof you have 
developed your organs of sex. Jewish babies are 
circumcised, that is, the foreskin is cut off, leav- 
ing the reddish end of the penis partly or wholly 
exposed; this is sometimes done in the case of 
boys who are not Jews, and in many cases it prob- 
ably might have been done to advantage. Some- 
times boys tease each other on this account; or 
because the sex organs of a boy are not as large 
as normal, he is subjected to contempt. No end WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
97 
of suffering results to a sensitive boy on this ac- 
count. So I want to urge you never to think 
about this in your own case or in the case of your 
friends. Be gentlemen with each other. Just as 
you would not mock any boy who had a deformity 
of any kind but help him rather to forget it; so 
you ought not to tease any boy because he may 
not be as perfect as another in the organs that 
mark him to be a male. 
Emissions in the Night.—You will be sur- 
prised sometime probably to wake up and find 
that there has flowed from you while you were 
asleep or dreaming a discharge of fluid from the 
sexual organs. The first time this happens prob- 
ably you will feel a sense of shame and you will 
be inclined to keep it as a secret. I hope that if 
the marks of it were found on the sheet in the 
morning, your mother did not misunderstand it 
and feel that perhaps there was something wrong 
with you. What I want you to understand is 
that this “dreaming off” or “seminal emission” 
as it is called, is not to cause you any anxiety or 
shame. It is not going to do you any harm, under 
ordinary conditions. You must understand it 
and know just what it all means. 
Going back, now, to what we have talked over 
about the organs of sex, recall the fact that the 
seminal vesicles which are indicated in the dia- 98 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
gram secrete constantly a watery solution the 
purpose of which is to help the sperms to keep 
alive and strong until they find the ovum and 
make it fertile. Now these vesicles can only take 
care of a certain amount of the watery fluid; 
when they become distended too much nature 
takes care of the surplus by forcing it out. This 
is what passes off in a “seminal emission.” That 
which is lost under these conditions is not the 
fluid that is secreted by the testes, which, you re- 
member, is so important to the growth of the body 
and which cannot be drawn away, as it is in self- 
abuse, without a severe loss to the powers of 
manhood. 
Now if you find that some of the fluid is pass- 
ing away from you in an emission in the night, 
come and tell me about it, so that I may see how 
often it is happening and also whether or not it 
leaves you feeling weak as a result. If it does 
not cause any such feeling, and if the experience 
does not come more often than once in ten days, 
or even once a week, we shall not need to do any- 
thing about it or be troubled at all. 
The Problem of Self-abuse.—Now we come 
to something that is really serious. There are 
many names for it. The most common are mas- 
turbation, or secret vice, or self-abuse. By this 
we mean the handling and rubbing of the penis WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
99 
until there is a discharge of semen, with the con- 
sequent loss of fluids that are of vital importance 
in building the body. 
There are few boys who pass into manhood 
without meeting the temptation to indulge in 
this act and yielding to it at least a few times; 
there are many who form the habit and are 
obliged to struggle with it, sometimes for years. 
There are others who suffer so seriously from the 
habit that they never recover from the damage 
that is done to them when they are young boys. 
The reason for this you ought to know, and it is 
now so well understood that it can be made plain 
in a few words. 
What the Glands do for the Body.-—In va- 
rious parts of the body there are glands that se- 
crete fluids which are absolutely necessary in or- 
der to keep the body in a healthy state. These 
secretions do not appear outside the body, like 
tears or saliva; but these “juices” are silently and 
steadily formed and poured into the blood or so 
introduced into the body that its healthy develop- 
ment is kept up. If the glands are removed or 
destroyed by disease there is a loss to the body 
that is always damaging and sometimes fatal. 
There is a gland in the neck called the thyroid. 
Never mind if you do not get the name of it now. 
The important fact about it is that if this were 100 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
destroyed when a boy was a baby he never would 
grow up into a normal and intelligent man, but 
would be an idiot, although his death might not 
come about as a result of the loss of the gland. 
Losing the Fluid from the Testes.—The 
glands that are a part of the organs of sex have 
a similar part to perform in the development of 
the body. They secrete fluids which are absorbed 
into the blood and there take a chief part in de- 
veloping the body in its strength or in what we 
call its virility. You know the difference between 
boys who are manly and strong, tingling with life 
and action, and those who are weak and tired and 
lolling around. As this wonderful fluid is secreted 
by the testes it works its way into the blood ves- 
sels and is carried to all parts of the body, where 
it performs its part in building it or so furnishing 
it that we discover this peculiar strength, virility. 
And if the fluids are drawn off through the fric- 
tion or rubbing of the organs, the whole body suf- 
fers the loss of the fluids that it must have in or- 
der to be made strong and able to endure strain. 
So here lies all the folly and sin of self-abuse; it 
is depriving the body of what it needs for its own 
strengthening. The boy who forms the habit of 
self-abuse is as unwise as a man would be if he 
were to break into his own house, rob it of its WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
101 
most precious goods, and throw them into the fire 
at the end. 
Getting Into the Habit.—There are at least 
three dangers that I want to tell you about in 
order that you may keep free from harm in the 
sexual abuse of your own body. And let me say 
here that I am confident that many boys get into 
this habit before they know that it is harmful. 
They do not understand and there was no friend 
to tell them. This is why we have talked it over 
so fully. I want you to know just what the dan- 
ger is and so to keep clear of it. 
One cause is the condition of your own body. 
While Jewish boys are circumcised, the majority 
of Gentile boys are not. Many boys have a rather 
long skin covering the head of the penis. Often 
this is tight and cannot be drawn back easily. It 
is almost certain that a cheesy substance will 
gather under this skin. One of the items in 
taking your bath is to pull back this foreskin and 
keep the organs clean. For this substance will 
sometimes cause an irritation which finally brings 
about an excited condition with the desire to han- 
dle the sexual organs. 
High-Strung Temper.—Another reason that 
leads to the abuse of the sex organs and so a dam- 
' age of the whole body is the nervous disposition 
of the boy himself. There are some boys who 102 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
are naturally calm and self-controlled. It is great 
good fortune to belong in this class. But there 
are others who are hot-blooded and fiery. They 
will have a harder fight to control themselves. 
They will be able probably to do some things in 
the world that their slower friends never will ac- 
complish. But it is very likely that they may 
have some battles to fight in the control of their 
sexual desires that will test their resolution and 
endurance to the limit. So if you feel that you 
belong in the fiery class, be all the more on your 
guard. 
Probably the instruction of other boys is a 
still more frequent cause of trouble in forming 
bad habits. We have talked about this so much 
that it is not necessary to discuss it here at greater 
length. Practice the golden rule in this matter. 
Keep clean yourself and help other boys do the 
same. 
The Harm of the Habit.—It is not difficult 
to make a list of the bad effects of continuing the 
habit of self-abuse. I do not want to have you 
think that I am trying to frighten you. Nor need 
you expect to find any one or all of these evil ef- 
fects following inevitably from indulgence of the 
habit. There are some boys who are so strong 
that they go on for some time, even two or three 
years, and do not show serious damage. There WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
103 
are others who give evidence of their loss of vi- 
rility immediately and finally break down in a 
pitiful way. But in general we are safe in say- 
ing that one or more of these results will follow 
from the practice of self-abuse: 
Physical Damages.—There are at least three 
physical results that will show the damage of self- 
abuse. The first of these is a retarded develop- 
ment of the body. This may not be so much in 
the matter of height or weight, although it will 
probably appear here, as in the whole growth of 
the body itself. 
Then the muscles will tend to be less strong 
than they would have been if the body had not 
lost so much of the fluids of the testes, which were 
needed in building their fiber. Weak muscles 
mean that the whole body is awkward and unable 
to respond with power to the commands of the 
will. 
Another mark of the damage that is done by 
this secret habit is the weariness of the boy. He 
does not respond to his work in school or to his 
play with the snap that is the sign of virility. He 
is tired. Every school teacher knows how large a 
part this plays in the work of the boys. There 
are some boys who are “constitutionally tired” in 
almost every school. In many cases the personal 
habits of the boy account for this condition. 104 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
Damaged Nerves.—Another result of the 
abuse of the body is the weakening of the nerves 
so that they are not steady and responsive as they 
ought to be. The discharge of the semen in the 
final act of self-abuse is a severe strain for it 
brings with it the arousing of the whole body and 
ends in a considerable shock. When this is re- 
peated too often the nerves are made unsteady. 
And so there comes about a condition in which 
the mind is also involved. Boys who have fallen 
into this habit are not able to grip their subjects 
in school as they might otherwise. Many a teach- 
er has been troubled as to the gradual failure of 
a boy, and has at last found that he needed to 
correct his personal habits as the first step to re- 
covery. The memory is often involved also. 
Every power that demands the use of the nervous 
system is more or less damaged by the indulgence 
in secret impurity. Anyone who will think for a 
moment how necessary the nerves are to the high- 
est physical life will see at once how deep is the 
injury that comes from self-abuse. 
Moral Loss.—Going along with the mental 
and the physical damage is also the moral loss 
which comes from this habit. It may not be easily 
explained; but it is a matter of observation that 
the keenness of the moral sense is blunted by se- 
cret sexual abuse. It may be that the root of it WHERE DO BABIES GOME FROM? 
105 
lies in the pleasure that a boy learns to take in 
what is debasing and unworthy of the finest man- 
liness. It cannot fail to bring him into the place 
where he does not see clearly the true meaning of 
right and wrong. The best friends of boys know 
that cowardice, deception and general shiftiness 
almost always go along with sexual excess. And 
one of the powers that every man ought to desire 
to possess is the gift of seeing that which is right 
quickly and of doing it with all his strength. 
Surely there can be no passing pleasure worth 
while if it must be purchased at such a price. The 
boy who has blunted his moral sense and weak- 
ened his moral power has put a mortgage upon 
his own success that will take him a life time to 
clear off. 
Strength of Will.—Another test of a boy is 
the power with which he can command his powers 
and control himself. To suffer the loss of will 
power is nothing less than a tragedy. But self- 
abuse strikes squarely at the will and weakens our 
power increasingly the more it is indulged in. It 
may be at the beginning a boy could control him- 
self easily; but he cannot practice the wrong habit 
long without getting into such bondage to it that 
his will seems to be totally helpless in the presence 
of the temptation to indulge in his passionate 
feelings. The longer the practice is kept up the 106 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
more difficult is the task of breaking it. The rea- 
son for this is, of course, that the will is made so 
weak that it cannot command the body to do what 
is right. So when the real struggle comes in which 
the habit must be conquered, help of every possi- 
ble kind must be given to the weakened will. 
What, Then, Gan be Done?—It might look 
as if there were no chance for the boy who has 
drifted into the habit of self-abuse to free himself 
from bondage to it and restore himself. The sit- 
uation is not so hopeless that any boy should give 
up. We shall talk this over again, for there are 
many things to be done. Only be sure of this: 
No boy can get the better of this habit unless he 
makes up his mind that he simply will rid himself 
of it entirely and goes at the job with all the pow- 
er left in his own will and with all the help that 
he can get from every possible source. He must 
determine that he will fight to the last ditch to get 
back his freedom and his self-respect. It can be 
done. It is worth doing at any cost. And we 
will try to talk at length about some of the ways 
by which the victory is to be vron. CHAPTER IX 
Pictures, Suggestions, Thoughts, Talk, 
Friends 
This is a curious hodge-podge of 
a title, but it brings together four of 
the most fertile sources of suggestion 
from which the majority of boys get 
their ideas concerning their sex life. 
These are so important that they ought to be 
taken up, singly or all together, in the effort 
made by a father or mother to inform and guide 
a boy in sex problems. The following may be 
suggested as a profitable line of conversation. 
The Importance of Eye-Gate.—Every one 
knows how deep the impressions are that pictures 
of all kinds make. People who seldom read and 
who think very little are taught and guided by 
the pictures that they see. Nearly all the maga- 
zines are illustrated now; there is only a small 
sale for those which have no pictures. In teach- 
ing we see how important pictures are considered. 
Take the text-books on geography as an exam- 
ple. The finest views from all around the world 
are brought together in these volumes for home 
107 108 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
and school use. Any statement in printed form 
that is beautifully and accurately illustrated by a 
picture gains in its clearness and is long remem- 
bered. I use these familiar examples that you 
may see from your daily life how important a 
part pictures play in conveying the truth. Eye- 
gate is one of the great openings to the soul. 
And there are certain reasons why it is su- 
premely influential in the whole matter of sex. 
First, because of the mystery connected with our 
sexual organs and relations. We never strip off 
our clothing except when we are alone or in the 
presence of friends whom we know well. Espe- 
cially is this true in the case of girls and women. 
They keep their bodies modestly covered with 
clothing. But the human body, especially the 
form of girls and women, is beautiful. Artists 
like to mold it in clay, to draw and to paint it. 
In these forms it is right that pictures should be 
made of the body. We almost never get any un- 
clean thoughts from the great pictures and stat- 
ues. But the trouble with other kinds of pic- 
tures is that they stir up all kinds of imagination 
and desire. 
The Unclean Picture.—So boys are some- 
times strongly tempted to buy and to pass around 
among themselves pictures representing the body 
without proper clothing or even the relations of WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
109 
sex. What I want you to understand is what 
you ought to do when you are asked to look at 
these or to help pass them around. You simply 
cannot afford to let the unclean picture get itself 
stamped upon your mind. It does not fade away. 
Long years after you saw it, and probably long 
after sentences that you may have heard on the 
subject are quite forgotten, you will remember 
the picture. 
I have heard men say that they would give 
almost any sum of money that they could com- 
mand if they might wipe off their memory some 
foul picture that they saw and brooded upon 
when they were boys. Sometimes when boys have 
a shanty or hang-out or secret haunt one of them 
will bring in a smutty picture or even a group of 
such will be collected. If you ever get into such 
a situation, as you value your own clean mind, 
pull out as soon as you can and keep away from 
contact with influences like this. I have known 
an older boy to get picture cards that were ob- 
scene and pass them around among younger boys. 
It is one of the meanest acts that can be done to 
damage others. If anyone tries to make you a 
victim of this kind of influence, you are justified 
in tattling or snitching on him. He is too mean 
to deserve any better treatment. So keep your 110 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
mind and memory free from unclean pictures of 
every kind. 
What is a Suggestion.—More things are sug- 
gested to us than ever are told us. The hints we 
receive are among the strongest forces that act 
upon our character. Sometimes we are much 
more strongly influenced by what we are myste- 
riously pointed to than by what we are openly 
shown. And this is especially true in our sex life. 
A man who knows boys well told me recently that 
he is sure more harm may be done by half cover- 
ing up the body than by leaving it bare, because 
the hint at what is half shown will lead a boy to 
search for the whole when he would take one look 
with a clean mind at what was fully exposed. 
However that may be, there is no doubt concern- 
ing the power of suggesting the facts about sex 
in many ways, and about this we want to talk 
now. 
Hints at the Unclean.—In their talk boys 
are likely to make suggestions that will send the 
minds of the group off on all kinds of impure 
lines. One way in which this turns is concerning 
the body or the private life of girls. Remarks 
about the physical beauty and suggestions con- 
cerning the sexual charm of girls are all in the line 
of the suggestions against which any clean- 
hearted boy ought to guard himself. If this kind WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
111 
of dark hints are being thrown out, change the 
subject if you can; but at least never join in with 
the others in following out the suggestion to its 
logical result. 
The Power of Thoughts.—Once more, let us 
make clear the power that a boy’s thoughts have 
in determining his conduct and character. From 
the beginning of these talks we have been urging 
the need of a healthy and clean mind if a boy is 
to grow up into a true man, self-mastered in all 
his powers. 
And there is no one who can control his 
thoughts except the boy himself. These are in 
his own secret possession. We are a mystery to 
all others except ourselves and God. This makes 
our thoughts mighty in the shaping of our con- 
duct. The way in which we think of sex makes 
us either clean or unclean in speech and deed and 
habit. 
It is, of course, not an easy matter to control 
our thoughts, when they have grown accustomed 
to dwell upon certain subjects too much. If, 
whenever we get the suggestion of matters of sex, 
we let our minds run off on the subj ect, it will re- 
quire the severest kind of control to check and 
change the habit. But it can be done and we 
must be as resolute in compelling our minds to 112 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
obey us as we are in making our hands do what 
we tell them. 
Some Ways of Controlling Our Thoughts. 
—If you have fallen into the habit of letting your 
mind run into the details of sex life when the sub- 
ject is suggested, and especially if you find that 
your mind is dwelling on the physical differences 
between jmurself and girls, one of the best ways 
to control the situation is to compel yourself to 
drop the subject or to change it to something 
better and higher. You will think about girls, 
of course; but you can force yourself to dwell 
upon their minds and their personal influence, 
upon their fine traits of character and the good 
influence upon you, instead of letting your 
thoughts dwell at all upon their physical dif- 
ferences from yourself and your boy friends. It 
is necessary simply to change the subject upon 
which you lay emphasis. 
In the same way, if your boy friends tend 
to think about the organs and functions of sex, 
you can turn to a good healthy problem of 
athletics and the meaning of a good game of 
golf and shift the whole line of thought. 
What Boys Talk About.—In what has just 
been said we have naturally moved from thought 
unexpressed into thought which is in the form 
of talk between boys. You know how a bunch WHERE DO BABIES COME FBOM? 
113 
of boys gets together and before anyone is aware 
of it they have gone from a smutty story into all 
kinds of talk about sex and such topics. 
The story that is shady is often the beginning 
of the trouble, so let us discuss that for a moment. 
Everyone likes a good story. It is a real gift, 
too, to be a good story teller. But the tendency 
is to let the story run into some coarse suggestion 
or unclean reference. One of this kind calls out 
another a little worse, and the result is that the 
talk of a group has been turned into uncleanness 
as a result. 
If the bunch starts telling coarse stories, you 
can do something to turn the subject. Your own 
good sense will tell you what you better do. But 
at least some of these efforts may be made: 
Simply say firmly and clearly, “O, let’s cut that 
out and talk about something else.” Perhaps 
that is not the best way to handle the case. It 
may be wiser to say nothing but merely to try 
to turn the talk into a better line. Sometimes 
the shady story may be told and nothing follow. 
If this is the case, be sure that you have done 
nothing by your attention or approval to en- 
courage anyone to go on with another, and be 
glad that the subject is dropped. 
Discussing Sex Subjects.—Talk in a group 
of boys sometimes runs into a discussion of the 114 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
facts and relations of sex. Girls are talked 
about as well as boys and the whole subject is 
given the wrong turn. Now we have agreed that 
there is nothing disgraceful in our sex life. It 
is perfectly possible to think of a group of boys 
talking about the origin of life and their own 
part in it and having the talk clean and good. 
It would not be so often, we are sure; for the 
tendency of all such talk is to turn into channels 
that are not clean and good. 
Sometimes a group of boys will get a book 
on sex and read it secretly together. This sug- 
gests all kinds of subjects which are often talked 
over by the boys without enough information to 
enable them to help each other to real knowledge 
on the matter. The result is generally bad rather 
than good. The difficulty is that the minds of 
the boys are filled with wrong ideas and their 
feelings are inflamed by thinking under these 
conditions on a subject about which they ought 
to talk with their fathers and not with one 
another. If each one of the boys would talk 
with his own father or family doctor there would 
be no harm come from it and good would be 
done. It is the conditions under which the matter 
is talked over and not the subject itself that 
causes the mischief. 
The Power of Personal Influence.—The WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
115 
most important single influence that comes into 
the life of any boy as far as his sexual knowledge 
and habits are concerned is the personal example 
and talk of his chums. In the majority of cases, 
it is the one closest comrade and friend who 
exerts the influence. But in many cases it is an 
older boy, with whom the younger lad does not 
have much to do personally, but whose talk and 
example set his wrong. 
So in the first place, let me beg of you to be 
sure that you do nothing to give a younger boy 
bad ideas about his body and that you do not 
give him any ideas that will make him coarse and 
unclean in his thoughts about girls. Many an 
older boy has done this for younger fellows, and 
has repented bitterly long afterward for the 
harm he did which he never can set right. For 
a boy to get the wrong start in his thought and 
practice about sex is a terrible injury, and you 
must be sure that, so far as you are concerned, 
you will not be responsible for it in any case. 
Now if the conditions are reversed and an 
older boy tries to talk with you about sex, refuse 
to let him lead you on. I have known more than 
one case in which an older boy would expose his 
body and try to get younger boys to do it with 
him when they were alone and thought that they 
were safe from discovery. There is something 116 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
about the presence of others doing the same 
thing which makes a boy yield and do what he 
never would think of if only he and his best 
friend were together or if he were quite alone. 
It takes a lot of courage to go against the gang 
in a time like this. Instead of there being safety 
in numbers it is often true that there is danger 
in the crowd. 
Quit If You Must.—If it comes to the last 
ditch, you ought to leave either a friend or a 
group that is talking smutty or practicing un- 
clean habits. It may take a great amount of 
courage to do it; but it is the only safe thing 
in the end. For it is impossible to stay per- 
manently with friends who are hurting your life, 
and that is exactly what this kind of talk does 
in the long run. 
You see, I want you to come through your 
boyhood knowing about your body and yet not 
thinking of the sex side of it. I want you to 
be able to control yourself; and this you will not 
do if your mind is full of ideas which have been 
given you in secrecy by others who do not know 
what they are talking about. 
So keep clear of the pictures, the suggestions, 
the thoughts, the talk and the friends which give 
you a desire to misuse your body. Act on what 
I have told you; live such a clean life that your WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
117 
sister and mother can honor you and therefore 
other women will respect you; and dare if the 
time comes to fight for the purity of your soul 
as much as you would in the defense of your 
belongings, or the safety of your body. CHAPTER X 
Forming and Breaking Sexual Habits 
“First an act, then a habit, then a 
character, and then a destiny.” This 
is a familiar proverb, which you will 
doubtless hear sometime with a deep 
sense of its meaning if you have not learned it 
already. The truth behind the words is this: 
that we always tend to do a little more easily 
that which we have done before until soon it has 
become a habit. Of all the chains that ever can 
possibly bind anyone there are none that are so 
strong and so hard to break as the habits which 
we rivet upon us by doing repeatedly any set 
of acts. It has been said with a great deal of 
truth that we are nothing but bundles of habits. 
Sex Habits.—Perhaps there is no part of 
our daily life where habit plays a larger part 
than in the relations of sex. One reason for this 
is that the habits of the sex life are generally 
so secret. Drinking intoxicating liquor, for ex- 
ample, is generally done with others. There are 
not many “secret drunkards.” Gambling gen- 
erally involves others and so is one of what we 
119 120 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
call the social vices. But in carrying on the most 
of his sex acts a boy is alone. He has none of 
the help in breaking off and none of the safe- 
guards to help keep him from forming the habit 
which is possible in the case of the other evil 
habits to which we just referred. When acts 
are done alone, and often in bed and in the 
dark, there is no restraint from shame in the face 
of others. So naturally the problem is harder 
to solve than is the case in drinking and gamb- 
ling. 
Getting Into Bad Habits.—We have talked 
over the matter of how pictures, suggestions, 
thoughts, talk, and friends may influence a boy in 
the forming of habits in his sex life, and have 
made an appeal for firmness in taking care of 
in the presence of these influences. 
Now we get into bad sex habits just as we 
acquire any others, namely, by doing single acts 
that are wrong. The boy who never takes a 
drink of intoxicating liquor never will acquire 
the habit or become a drunkard. Not every boy 
or young man who takes a drink becomes a 
victim of the habit, of course; but all drunkards 
have become such by starting to drink. If the 
first step never had been taken the road never 
would have been travelled at all. Not every boy 
who misuses his sexual organs once or even 121 
WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
several times will surely get into the habit of 
self-abuse and be obliged to fight back to clean 
living again; but he lias taken the first step and 
is well started on the road. And that road is 
a hard one to travel, as many a boy would tell 
you if he let you see all that is in his mind and 
heart. 
So there is just one simple rule with which 
to begin: Never do the bad act and you will 
be free from the bad habit. If anyone tells you 
that you must go through all the experiences of 
sex life in order to be a man, tell him that this 
is not true. The best and most useful men in 
the world are those who have kept free from the 
habits that destroy the power of the body and 
the soul. 
But what we want to talk over now is the 
way in which we may get out of the clutch of 
a bad habit wThen once we are in it. 
Keep Away From the Quack Doctors.— 
One of the results of self-abuse is to make a boy 
fearful and over-sensitive. He gets the idea that 
perhaps he is losing his powers and must have 
medical help. But he dreads to tell his father 
or the family doctor. In this condition he is an 
easy mark for the cheap doctors who advertise 
that they have special skill in curing men of the 
“loss of manhood” and similar troubles. These 122 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
men are less in evidence than they used to be, 
for the best papers will not take their advertise- 
ments any more. There are plenty of them, how- 
ever, still carrying on their miserable swindle. 
It is very likely that a boy who has been 
carrying on the practice of self-abuse for some 
time does need medical attention; but he ought 
to receive it at the hands of a reputable physi- 
cian. So if you ever know of a boy who needs 
help in such circumstances, persuade him to talk 
with his father and with the family doctor. Tell 
him that he has no reason to feel ashamed to tell 
the truth. It is something to be proud of when 
a boy has found out his fault and is ready to try 
to overcome it. 
First Step—Decide to Quit.—There is only 
one way in which a boy ever can break off the 
habit of self-abuse; he must determine to do it 
and he must be dead-in-earnest about it. The 
one supreme factor in the fight is the determined 
will. It is at this point, unfortunately, that the 
greatest difficulty may be met. For one of the 
most common results of the practice is to weaken 
the will and to make a boy irresolute and un- 
reliable. He tends to make decisions and not 
to stick to them. He is inclined to grow more 
shifty in his will and weaker in his power to hold 
on. So it works out this vicious circle: the more WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
123 
the habit is indulged the weaker the will grows; 
the weaker the will becomes the less power it 
has to control the habit. So a boy goes on rob- 
bing himself of the very weapons that he ought 
to have in his hands to conquer the practice. But 
there is always some power left; and the way 
to increase that is to use it to the limit, to decide 
the question fully, and then to stick to the deci- 
sion until the battle is won, as it may be. 
Physical Help.—If any boy means business 
in his effort to lead a clean life, he will want to 
begin with his own body. It is quite possible 
that there is some fault in his own sex organs, 
like a long foreskin. The doctor can tell and he 
ought to be seen. You ought to ask your father 
to tell you everything that you should do in 
keeping your body clean and healthy. 
Another physical help is open-air exercise. 
Everyone knows that sitting quietly for a long 
time in cramped positions will tend to produce 
sexual cravings; while hard exercise in the open 
air is useful in working off physical energy and 
so bringing about healthy habits. Fresh air 
under all conditions helps in the problem. Look 
out for the opening of windows at night. 
Also be sure of the general up-keep of your 
body. The morning sponge bath or shower will 
give you help in fighting the battle for a clean 124 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
life. The strongest boys I ever have known have 
been the fellows who kept themselves fit with 
plenty of water and exercise; they seemed to be 
able to keep themselves clean also in mind and 
soul. 
Getting up in the Morning.—The result of 
a careful study of the conditions under which bad 
sexual habits are kept up shows that one of the 
times when the worst mischief is done is in the 
early morning, after first waking up and during 
the time of half sleep before one actually gets out 
of bed and begins to dress. If it is cold weather 
the bed is warm and many of the surroundings 
are so comfortable that they excite a boy before 
he knows what is taking place. Therefore one 
of the wisest doctors in the country advises boys 
to make it a rule to get out of bed when they 
first wake up and on no condition to allow them- 
selves to lie under cover and go through a second 
dozing sleep. It is better to get into a hath room 
and take a cold sponge in order that the day 
may be started with no danger of making a 
sexual mistake at the outset. 
Keeping Away From Yourself.—It may 
sound strange, but one of the most needful les- 
sons that a boy can learn is how to keep away 
from himself. Of course in one sense he never can 
do this. We may choose the persons with whom Nature Study at First Hand. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
125 
we will live to a considerable extent; but we sim- 
ply must live with ourselves. But we can deter- 
mine the kind of a person that we will live with 
when we do live with ourselves. And if we are de- 
cided that this is going to be a clean, fine, strong 
person, then we shall keep our hands off ourselves 
in order that we may not have to live with some- 
one who has misused his own body. The begin- 
ning of many bad habits lies in the putting of 
a boy’s hands on his own body and making free 
with it in such a way that he preverts its right 
use. So, although you are all alone and nobody 
can know what you are doing, fight the tendency 
to put your hands on yourself, as you will also 
be sure to keep them off anyone else. It is a 
great thing when you see clearly that your own 
body is sacred to yourself and that you must not 
let it be abused by you. 
The Place of Glean Thoughts .—-We may 
lay all the weight we like upon the physical 
conditions, but it is true, of course, that the mind 
has the great part to play in the control of our 
habits. So we must work on our minds more 
than on our bodies in trying to get rid of bad 
practices. The way we think will determine 
what we do. The best way in which to drive 
unclean thoughts out of our minds is to fill them 126 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
with good, clean ideas. This principle is so im- 
portant that we want to make it plain just now. 
One of the great sermons of modern times 
was preached by Rev. Thomas Chalmers of 
Scotland, on the subject, “The Expulsive Power 
of a New Affection.” By this the preacher 
meant that the way to get a base idea out of the 
mind was to drive it out by putting a good one 
in its place. He got the idea when he was riding 
in the stage coach and saw the driver whip up 
the leading horse at a certain sharp curve in the 
road where steadiness was necessary. The driver 
said he did it in order “to give Jim something 
to think on till he got by a big white stone at 
which he always shied.” This is one of the best 
principles which a boy can use as he tries to 
conquer his bad mental and physical habits. He 
must get new ideas into his mind and the old 
ones will be driven out. 
A boy can control his morbid curiosity about 
sex subjects if he will think on other matters. 
He can drive out the memory of old base pictures 
and stories and suggestions if he will simply 
determine to set his mind on the subjects that 
are fine and clean. It may take a long fight and 
probably it will; but it can be done by keeping 
up the battle. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
127 
The Help of Friends.—Although the habit 
may be a secret one, it is quite likely that at 
some stage of its growth your closest friend may 
have known about it or even shared in it. It is 
equally true that in trying to overcome it, the part 
that a friend plays in the problem may be large. 
Now if it happens, as it often does, that the 
bad practice is one in which a little gang shares, 
or in which two chums are partners, it may be 
that a boy never will get the better of the habit 
until he breaks with the old crowd. Generally 
I do not like to advise anyone to win his victory 
by leaving the battle ground. There is a proverb 
that one of my friends uses often which I like; 
he says, “Pick up your hat where you dropped 
it.” But that does not mean that we are to stay 
in the place where we are in great danger of 
dropping it again. So in general I say, Quit 
the old bunch. Get into another kind of sur- 
roundings where you will get new help. It will 
be hard enough to win anyhow without inviting 
difficulty. And if you and your chum have got- 
ten into evil ways together, unless you can talk 
it over with him and you can agree to help each 
other to clean up, it is better to leave him than 
to keep meeting the hardship of his influence as 
you are trying to form new habits. 128 
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Help Another Fellow.—There is no greater 
single means of help in the fight than to try 
definitely to help someone else in the same battle. 
It is wonderful how wTe get new strength when 
we bear a hand in putting our shoulder under 
someone else. It helps us see how the struggle 
itself is worth while. Sometimes we wonder if 
it is very important when we think only of our- 
selves. But when we look at someone else who 
is evidently injuring himself, we see the whole 
matter in a new light. And as we try to lend 
a hand with someone else we discover that the 
best way to help him is to have our own example 
right. We can best encourage someone else to 
win by winning ourselves. So we get a new 
spur to our own energies as we try to get the 
better of any old WTong habit that may have been 
afflicting us. Pitch in and give a lift to the other 
fellow, for your own sake as well as for his. 
Trust Your Father.—In all the sources of 
aid that are open to a boy trying to break off 
bad sex habits, there is no stronger influence 
open to him than that of his own father, if only 
he will give this power a place in the fight. And 
yet it is one of the last helps that is used, in the 
majority of cases. 
But do not feel ashamed to come to your 
father with your problem. Did you ever stop WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
129 
to think that he has been through almost all the 
experiences through which you are passing and 
that it is quite likely that he had his own battle 
to fight when he was a boy and has not forgotten 
it either? If you get together on the matter, 
I am rather sure that you will find that he has 
some scars which show that he in his own time 
was a fighter in the same war that you are 
waging. So do not let this source of help go 
unused. It will be a pity for you and for him 
also if you do not share the battle. 
The Moral and Religious Side.—There is 
a deep moral and religious side of this fight with 
evil habits that you must not overlook. The 
damage that secret vice does to the highest 
powers of a boy is the worst of all. Impure 
living spoils the beauty of his spirit, and there 
is no set of figures that can tell how great a dis- 
aster this is. 
And so I want to say that a boy fighting this 
battle needs the help of God and must have it 
if he is to win. We must not talk about the 
different ideas of religion, of God, and of the 
church at this point. The fact that help is to 
be had from higher powers than those that we 
or our friends possess is the almost unanimous 
testimony of all good men. And this aid ought 
to come to every boy in his fight for a clean 130 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
character. It will come, if he does his best and 
prays and waits patiently for the victory. There 
is no other single point where a boy’s religion 
can be of more practical value than right here. 
God does help us in our struggle to lead a clean 
life. We cannot explain it and we would not 
try. There are some things that are spoiled when 
they are explained. It will be a sorry day for 
the world when we are told exactly why a mother 
loves her boy. Religion cannot be reduced to a 
set of propositions, like the statements of geome- 
try; but it is none the less true. So rally all the 
real religion that you have to help you in the 
fight. Trust in God and ask Him to give you 
the victory. This is the way to win. 
Never Give Up.—If any bad sexual habits 
have got themselves fastened upon you, it will 
be a long battle before they let go entirely, in 
the majority of cases. So the question is con- 
stantly coming up: How long must a boy fight 
his battle before the victory is secure? and, What 
shall a boy do when he loses the fight? 
Let us take up the second question first. 
There is a vast difference between a single battle 
and a campaign. We know that many a skirmish 
and often a battle is lost before the campaign as 
a whole is decided. And this will most likely 
take place in fighting the battle for a clean life. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
131 
There will be times when a boy will fall and 
repent with shame and confusion. If this hap- 
pens, never let yourself get confused about the 
difference between the loss of a single battle and 
the loss of the whole campaign. There may come 
days when it seems as if the whole fight had been 
lost. You may have made the best of resolu- 
tions; you may have done your best; you may 
have asked God to help you and trusted him in 
full faith; and yet you fell into the clutch of the 
old habit again and went down. What are you 
going to do? Simply this: get up and go at it 
again, all the more determined that you will get 
the better of the enemy. This is the kind of 
stubborn courage that finally triumphs. Nothing 
else is adequate to the fight that you will have 
to carry on. 
How long will it take, then? In some cases 
a boy will be able to conquer the evil and control 
himself in a few weeks or months. But there 
are many cases in which the struggle is pro- 
longed even for years. This kind of a foe is 
not done to death in a day. It is a grim old battle 
and it must be fought to the bitter end. What 
I want to make clear to you is that the final 
victory is absolutely sure. It comes to every boy 
who fights with determination, uses every means 
at hand, trusts God and never gives up. 132 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
And it is a great thing to win this battle. It 
is greater than to “take a city.” Many a world 
conqueror has been less truly a hero than some 
hoy who, falling into bad habits, has seen the 
evil of it all and then has determined to get the 
victory over the wrong and live a clean, manly 
life. Such a victor is a true hero. CHAPTER XI 
Associating With Boys Who Misunder- 
stand the Story 
The Place of Friendship.—It is 
through the avenue of his friends that 
every boy gets the greatest impact that 
shapes his character. The boys in the 
gang make each other by the information that 
they furnish and the ideals that they impart. 
Parents often think that they know all about 
their children, because they see them at home 
every day, share the common life at the table 
with them, and know where they are every even- 
ing. But this is not by any means an assurance 
that they know what their children are thinking 
and talking about, or learning from their com- 
rades in the play and school life that occupies 
so many hours away from the home. Often 
parents are terribly shocked to learn what may 
have been going on in the little circle where they 
thought that the boy was one of a pure-hearted 
little group of playfellows. Sometimes it is dis- 
covered that the boys have been revelling in the 
details of sex relations as they have talked about 
133 134 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
them and even have become abnormal in their 
relations with one another. 
D e p r a v i t y or Ignorance?—The first 
thought, if such a case is discovered, is that the 
are debauched or depraved. Most earnestly 
it ought to be brought to the attention of parents 
under such conditions that often this is a case of 
ignorance and good instincts gone astray rather 
than the sure sign of a vulgar mind or a depraved 
nature. No effort is being made to underesti- 
mate or apologize for these abuses among boys; 
their evil results are too often apparent. But 
time and again boys have developed a condition 
among one another that did not spring from evil 
hearts but from natural tendencies that went 
wrong because there had been no correct infor- 
mation given. Therefore, let the group and the 
individual be given the benefit of the doubt in 
such a case and at least the question raised if 
the situation may not be corrected by the giving 
of the right kind of information and the use of 
frank and friendly guidance. 
Talking Over the Gang.—We are now sup- 
posing a case in which a father has come upon 
a bad condition in the gang to which his boy 
belongs. He might of course rush ahead with 
punishment and try to correct the fault with an 
appropriate penalty like a whipping. But we WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
135 
have in mind something deeper in intention than 
mere physical punishment. Therefore the fol- 
lowing is the suggestion of a talk with the boy 
concerning the gang and his relation to it. It 
might proceed something like this: 
I can remember so well the times when we 
had our shanty and our secret society, with its 
initiation and its passwords, and sometimes I have 
wished that I could go back again and live over 
a few of the summer days when our old gang 
was together. I think of the places where the 
boys of the gang are now; and it is wonderful 
to see how clearly the work that they are doing 
and the character that they have now were ex- 
pressed in the way that they acted long ago. 
And if I were able to go back and live over 
the old days when we were boys, I know that 
one of the points at which I should try to make 
it all better would be the way we talked and 
thought about sex and the problems of our own 
life. I do not mean that we were a nasty lot of 
boys. We came from homes where we were loved 
and taken care of better than the majority of 
boys. But there were always one or more in the 
bunch whose minds and mouths were not clean; 
and as I look back from today I am sure that 
one of the problems which I did not solve as well 
as I ought to have done was how to help keep 136 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
everything manly and clean in the gang to which 
I belonged. And if I am not mistaken that is 
one of the difficulties that you will have to under- 
stand in your own associations with your friends. 
So let us talk it over. 
You Cannot Solve a Problem by Running 
Away From It.—Now it is certain that matters 
of sex will come up in the talk of the gang. It 
is something that sooner or later gets into the 
subjects talked over, and there is nothing that 
tends to grow into the one great subject faster 
and fiercer than the theme of sex life. So then 
you will have to decide what you are going to 
do with it. And the first principle is that simply 
quitting the gang at the outset and trying to do 
nothing to change the subjects talked about will 
not solve the problem. I do not mean that you 
are to stay with the bunch when they begin to 
talk smutty stuff and do nothing to correct the 
trouble. That would be worse than running 
away, without doubt. But simply to quit, while 
safe for you, is not to live up to the opportunity 
that comes to you at this point to make your 
influence felt for a clean deal with the sex prob- 
lems of boyhood. I do not believe that any 
strong boy wants either to run away and be safe 
or to stay and be stained. The right way to WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
137 
meet the situation is to stay and do something 
to make the whole situation better. 
Using Your Information.—Supposing, 
now, that the talk in the shanty or on the hike 
has turned to the subject of sexual relations. 
What are you, a boy who knows about the sub- 
ject in a clean way as I have tried to tell you 
the story of life, going to do? It is not an easy 
situation in which you will find yourself. I know 
and understand it all. But you can do something 
to help your chums at just this point. Your 
knowledge of the .matter ought to be of use to 
them as it ought to have helped you. 
Under the circumstances, therefore, and be- 
fore the talk has gone too far, I suggest that you 
take a hand in the guiding of the talk. Tell the 
fellows first of all that you think the beginning 
of life and the relations of sex are subjects that 
we get hold of generally in the wrong way. I 
advise you to tell them that your father has 
talked with you since you were a kid and has 
told you about the whole subject. Then you 
better put the subject something like this: My 
father has told me that this subject is as fine as 
any, but that it is not something to talk about 
in a crowd. Before we know it we are saying 
and thinking things about girls that are low and 
which we would punch the head off a fellow for 138 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
saying or thinking about our sister. I think that 
the way to do is for each fellow to get at the 
real truth about his part in the story of life. My 
father has a book which he has used in talking 
with me; and if there is any one of you who will 
do it, I will ask him to talk with us both and 
show us from the book what the truth about sex 
is. I would just as soon ask him to talk with 
all of us if you will let him. But I know it is 
a mistake to talk about this subject until we all 
understand more than we do about it. 
If you will speak something like this, I be- 
lieve that the boys will be inclined to stop and 
to give you a chance to help some of them learn 
the truth and keep their minds clean. And if 
you will fix it up for me, I will talk with them 
just as I have talked with you. I will try to 
answer their questions just as fully as I have 
tried to answer yours. If you cannot get the 
gang to let me talk to them, ask any one of the 
boys who would be willing to learn what I have 
told you. I will talk with you both together or 
with him alone if you prefer. 
Changing the Subject.—Another way in 
which to handle the matter is to change the sub- 
ject as soon as you can when the boys begin to 
talk on the relations of sex. This can be done 
and not put you in any false light with the gang, WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
139 
if you are careful about it. Without joining in 
and at the right time, as your common sense 
indicates it, you can shift the subject to some- 
thing that is interesting and worth talking about. 
In many cases that is doubtless the best way to 
do. It puts something different before the minds 
of the group. Of course there must be some 
subject to talk about when boys are together. 
The problem is to replace the subjects that are 
bad by those which are good. I have said repeat- 
edly that sex is not a subject that is bad in itself. 
It is only the way in which it is handled that 
makes it so often coarse and vulgar. On this 
account it is almost impossible for a group of 
boys to talk at any great length on this subject 
and not get into the unclean aspects of the 
matter 
You and Your Chum.—Let us now talk 
about some of the dangers that come into the 
personal relations of two boys who are good 
friends and who are thrown closely with one 
another. In many a case two boys get into the 
habit of unclean talk or practices step by step 
and the result is great damage to life and char- 
acter. I know that you have been puzzled some- 
times because I have not been so willing as you 
thought that I ought to have been to have you 
spend the night with other boys or to have them 140 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
spend the night with you. There is only a double 
bed in your room and the two of you would have 
to sleep together if you were to be with each other 
through the night. The temptations that come 
under these conditions are greater than boys 
sometimes think. They get into relations that 
they did not expect when the darkness comes and 
they are together in their night clothes. We may 
as well talk this out plainly. I do not know why 
it is, but probably it is because of the way in 
which all the relations of sex are kept as con- 
cealed and quiet as they ought to be. At any 
rate, there is something in the darkness and 
privacy of the night that simply tends to bring 
out the whole matter into our thought. Then 
if the air is cold and boys cuddle up to each other 
under the covering of the bed, the organs of 
sex often become excited under the warmth and 
the contact. If the boys have fallen into whis- 
pered talk about matters of sex, this condition 
is still farther increased. As a result, boys use 
their hands improperly and are betrayed into 
relations with each other’s bodies that would 
make them ashamed if they were to face the same 
conditions in the daylight. 
I do not mean that two boy chums always 
get into these bad situations; probably in the 
great majority of cases they do not. But the 
danger is so great and the mistake is made so Youth Plunges in Where Age Counts the Cost. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
141 
often, that we have tried at home not to let you 
run any more risks than you needed to meet. 
Your mother and I want you and your best boy 
friend to be with each other. We know that the 
hours that mean most to friends are those in 
which they may be alone. But we want those 
times to be clean and good so that the memory 
of them will be happy. And there is nothing 
that is much worse than to be compelled to 
remember that you and your chum were not clean 
and strong when you were nearest one another 
in your boyhood. 
So I urge you with all the power I have to 
be careful about your talk and what you do with 
your bodies when you and your best friend are 
together where nobody sees or hears you. I have 
put you on your guard against letting yourself 
be betrayed into any unclean talk or action. It 
is something for your own will to determine. 
Nobody can stand guard over you except your 
personal ideal and resolution. 
One of Your Enemies.—I now come to the 
final point that I want to talk with you about. 
From all I know about the way in which boys 
are thrown into the company of each other, I 
am sure that the enemy in disguise is the older 
boy or the chum of your own age who has the 
intention to teach you bad practices as he talks 142 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
with you about matters of sex, excites your mind, 
and finally tries to get you into the practice of 
self-abuse. When the best apology that can be 
thought up is made for such boys, it remains 
true that they do untold damage in their relations 
with other boys. I want you to have the right 
idea of such a fellow. Perhaps it is true that 
he does not fully understand what he is doing; 
in many cases, indeed, I believe that he does not. 
I give every boy the credit for being sound and 
clean when he really knows the whole truth about 
his sex life; but the trouble is there are so many 
who get on the wrong road before they know at 
all where they are going. 
So if you fall into a relation like this with 
any boy, I want you to he absolutely firm with 
him and tell him with all the strength of will 
that you possess that you will have nothing to 
do with his uncleanness. You may have to stand 
up to your principles like a good soldier in order 
to win out with him; but you can do it if you 
will, and you must he positive and unflinching 
about it. 
But there is another side to the same point. 
It may be that you will come to the place in 
your friendship with another boy where you can 
do him a genuine good turn by setting him right 
in his ideas and habits concerning his sex life. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
143 
It is not enough to keep your own character clear 
from weakness and strain; you must do your 
part to help some other fellow. Otherwise you 
might be his enemy instead of his friend. If you 
see an opportunity like this be sure that you are 
true to the chance to be a good friend. Tell 
your chum what you know, or, better still, bring 
him to me if he will come, and I will talk with 
him as I have done with you. CHAPTER XII 
Being a Gentleman with Girls 
The Test of a Glean, Strong 
Boy.—One of the finest tests of 
a clean, strong boy is the way in 
which his mind and his manners 
are expressed in the presence of 
girls. A boy who has had the 
privilege of growing up with sis- 
ters has the advantage over an only child. In 
any case, however, every boy needs to be coun- 
selled, and guided in his association with girls. 
There are certain general principles which he 
ought to understand. His father and mother are 
the ones to help him master these. 
Being a Good Comrade with Girls.—First, 
every boy has the right to be guided into a nor- 
mal, healthy way of associating with girls as 
good comrades and friends without being sub- 
jected to the silly suggestions of “falling in love” 
or mating. One of the tragic facts about our 
common conversation is that every kind of asso- 
ciation between a boy and girl is liable to be 
jested about or at least involved in the glamor 
145 146 
THE PARENTS' GUIDE 
of a romance. Even in the primary grades of 
school, boys are taunted on choosing someone 
for a “best girl” and girls are teased because 
someone is their “fellow.” Thus the peculiar 
atmosphere and relationships of young manhood 
and womanhood are brought down into the years 
of childhood to make artificial those simple and 
beautiful relations that the boy and girl ought 
to bear to each other. 
Teasing at Home and Between Friends.— 
One way in which to check this is to repress 
any teasing of children on this point in the fam- 
ily. Older brothers and sisters are inclined to 
torment younger members until they induce a 
false idea of the naturalness and worth of childish 
friendships between boys and girls. Even 
parents are sometimes betrayed into silly refer- 
ences to the “love affairs” of little children. It 
is natural and easy enough to fall into this habit 
in the family; but the result is an abnormal idea 
of the right relations between boys and girls. 
If the family as a whole will not tease any mem- 
ber who is forming friendships with a comrade 
of a different sex, the danger and folly referred 
to will be in large part avoided. 
The same principle holds good in the talk 
which is common between playmates and friends. 
Study the writing on the sidewalks of any village WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
147 
or city as an example of this. In the crude hand- 
writing of children in the lower grades will be 
found the association of names of boys and girls, 
or such sentences as “John loves Mary,” or “Fred 
kissed Kitty.” It is the old teasing spirit which 
spoils the naturalness and beauty of the associa- 
tion of boys and girls as good chums and simple 
friends. 
So, at home and in the friendships of children, 
parents ought to work definitely to bring boys 
and girls to associate with one another without 
bringing the “love affairs” of grown-ups into the 
association of children of opposite sex. 
“Talking It Over” with Boys.—But some- 
thing more than merely a natural treatment of 
boy and girl friendships is necessary in order to 
help children to associate with one another in the 
best way. Having only boys in mind now, we 
note that parents ought to do something definite 
to lead a boy to understand how to be a gentle- 
man with girls. A boy’s father is the one person 
who may be expected most naturally to talk the 
matter over with him. The following is sug- 
gested as a natural way to handle the subject. 
Let the occasion be one on which the subject can 
naturally be brought in. There ought to be 
time enough to go over the subject thoroughly, 
without feeling that there is no opportunity for 148 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
questions and honest replies. It is all the better 
if the boy has a sister; but even if he is an only 
son, his mother can be cited as the appeal to his 
honor and chivalry. 
How Do You Want Boys to Treat Your 
Mother or Sister?—One of the finest things I 
know about you, son, is the way you have treated 
your mother and sisters ever since you were a 
small boy. Of course I know that sometimes 
you have lost your temper and been harsh or 
unkind for a few moments; but I have been sure 
that you honored your mother and the girls and 
never would let anyone say or do anything to 
them that was not polite and honorable. Keep 
that spirit as long as you live; for it is the part 
of a gentleman to defend the good name and the 
honor of his mother and sisters with every power 
of his being. You are right in demanding that 
every boy and man shall treat your mother and 
sisters with as clean heart and hands as you treat 
them yourself. 
How About the Golden Rule?—But this 
principle, which you accept and act upon so 
naturally and strongly in your relations to your 
mother and sisters, is just as strong when it is 
applied to your relations with girls; and I want 
to talk this over fully now.(1) 
(1) If the boy is old enough to appreciate it, the following 
quotation may be read to him, or told in substance. In any WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
149 
Do not think that this is an unimportant 
matter. Like all the greatest laws of living, it 
is simple and plain, but it goes deep to the very 
heart of the whole problem. If every boy would 
do to all girls as he would have all other boys do 
to his own mother and sister, then there would 
be no unclean thinking or impure actions be- 
tween boys and girls; for every true boy wants 
his own mother and sisters to be treated in a 
gentlemanly way by his male friends and chums. 
Glean Relationships with Other Boys.— 
One of the ways in which to insure fine and 
healthy relationships with girls is for you to be 
sure that you are wholesome and manly in your 
relations with other boys. You boys are used 
to being with one another without your clothes 
on in the pools and baths of the Y. M. C. A. and 
around the swimming holes in the country.' 
case it will be of use in suggesting the way in which to direct 
the course of reasoning. It is found in Bigelow’s “Sex Edu- 
cation,” page 32. “The editor of a well-known magazine was 
recently talking with a prominent author and made some refer- 
ence to the immoral habits of young men. Their conversation 
was essentially as follows: The author remarked, ‘I assume that 
my boys will be boys, and will have their fling before they settle 
down and marry.’ Tbe editor replied, ‘Yes, and I presume that 
you expect your boys to sow their wild oats with my daughters, 
and that in return you will expect my sons to dissipate with 
your daughters. At any rate, you have damnable designs on 
somebody’s daughters.’ This put on the wild-oat proposition 
a light which was apparently new to the literary man, for he 
replied, ‘ That is a phase of the young man’s problem which never 
occurred to me. It does sound startling when stated in that per- 
sonal way!’ ” 150 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
These are generally more or less public and you 
will not be tempted to talk or think about matters 
of sex in such conditions. The danger comes in 
the places where two or three of you get together 
and know that you will not be seen or overheard. 
Shanties, barns, and secret hang-outs of every 
kind are places where, before you know it, you 
will be tempted to think and talk about subjects 
connected with the sex life in a way that will 
lead you into mischief. Before you know where 
the road leads, you will have begun to talk and 
think about girls in a way that you do not want 
any boy to think about your mother or sisters. 
So keep away from such places and avoid the 
subjects which are suggested there and the asso- 
ciations formed on such a basis. 
Keep Your Hands Where They Belong.— 
Girls are beautiful, and I would not expect you 
to be a healthy, manly boy without appreciating 
this fact and responding to it. You ought to 
like to see a girl’s fine hair, lovely face, and 
graceful figure. You ought to like to walk be- 
side a beautiful girl and to be a courteous, clean- 
hearted escort for her, whenever she needs your 
protection and will honor you with her company. 
This is something to be appreciated with manly 
pride. I want you to like the companionship of WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
151 
girls and to appreciate the beauty of their physi- 
cal bodies. 
And along with this will come the inevitable 
temptation to be too free with your hands in 
touching them or to try to kiss a girl good-night 
when you have seen her safely home and are only 
a good school friend. 
To kiss a girl is generally understood to be 
a sign of love for her and to be welcomed and 
responded to by her only when she loves the 
giver in return and the two intend to be married 
and live together sometime. A kiss is a noble 
and beautiful act under the right conditions. 
But when a school-boy makes free with the face 
of a school-girl in this way it is not the act of 
a gentleman. The boy who will kiss a girl under 
such conditions is violating the finest rules of 
courtesy that ought to govern him in his friend- 
ships. 
It is still worse when a boy hugs a girl or 
puts his hands on her body in any way that sug- 
gests the contacts which are forbidden by cour- 
tesy and honor. There is a perfectly clear and 
safe law to follow at this point. It is this: sup- 
pose you had a sister whom you loved and 
honored with all your soul; would you want any 
boy to put his hands on her or pat her? You 
know that you would not; you would fight a boy 152 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
who tried to do that to your sister. Then, if the 
Golden Rule means anything, you must not and 
you will not do a similar act to a girl who is 
somebody’s sister and who deserves your respect 
and courteous treatment in every way. 
Keep Away From the Fire.—Let me say 
plainly that the moral mistakes that boys and 
girls make with one another are not due to the 
boys entirely or to the girls alone. Sometimes 
it is one and sometimes the other; but boys are 
certainly more often the ones who make the first 
advances and probably are the more often to 
blame. I believe in you, my lad, with all my 
heart; but you are not proof against temptation. 
I have tried to tell you all about yourself, so 
that you would not at least be surprised and so 
taken unawares by temptation. I wish that this 
knowledge and my plain talks might make me 
sure that you will never betray my confidence 
in you. But I know too well how hot is the 
blood of youth; and I tell you plainly that you 
must fight hard to keep clean and be morally 
sound in your sex life. 
I do not expect you can save yourself from 
all possible temptations; probably it would not 
be best that you should be shielded so. But you 
can avoid some troubles and save yourself some 
damage by at least never walking into the fire WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
153 
when you know it is burning. So if you have 
the suspicion that you may be tempted to be 
ungentlemanly with girls in any particular as- 
sociation or group, I advise you strongly to keep 
away from it. There are enough good and clean 
people in the world so that you do not need to 
go out of your way in order to find trouble, nor 
even to run into it when it is in your very path. 
Turn around, go aside, jump over! You know 
how to take care of yourself, without doubt; but 
Avhat you would do in a crisis you may not be 
sure. There is really nothing to be gained and 
everything to be lost in the dangerous contact. 
Better keep out. No price is too great to pay 
for a clean life. Part II 
CHAPTER XIII 
When the Long Story Begins 
Put away the beautiful dolly, 
dear, and come to mother for our bed- 
time talk. Get your baby ready for 
bed, and then mother will do the same 
for her baby, and we shall have our little visit. 
I have a wonderful story to begin to-night, a 
story that will not end in a week, but will last 
for a long, long time, and you and mother are 
going to enjoy it together. 
You love to hear my stories, and I have kept 
this one, which is best and most wonderful of 
all, until you were old enough to understand 
more of it, and now we will begin it. It is a 
wonderful story of life, of the beginning of you, 
the little daughter, that has been such a comfort 
to father and mother, and the beginning of every- 
thing else in this great, beautiful world. 
As you hugged your new dolly to you, you 
began to show the mother love in your little 
woman heart, and you fondled it just as Aunt 
155 156 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
Ruth snuggles her baby to her, and then came 
the question which you have been thinking of 
so long, but hardly knew how to ask. 
You remember you said this morning, 
“Mamma, did Auntie Ruth get baby Helen in 
Paris when she got my dolly? and if she did, 
why didn’t she get me one that can laugh and 
crow as her baby can, and that can drink milk 
and begin to talk and walk? I love my dolly, 
hut I like babies better, and I don’t think be- 
cause we are little we should be put off with 
make-believe babies. What’s the reason, mother, 
for it?” 
Little children think a great many things 
which they can’t understand all alone. God 
gave them papas and mammas to explain all 
these things. That is what fathers and mothers 
are for. They teach their little ones all about 
the wonderful world they come to live in, and 
about God who made everything in His wisdom. 
There are some things that even grown-up 
people can not understand, and we never will 
until we get to heaven and God tells us all about 
them. I suppose this is because the dear Father 
in heaven thought, if we could know everything 
here, we would not care so much about going to 
live with Him in heaven, so He has left some 
things for us to learn when we get there. Yes! WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
157 
mother knows and she is going to teach her 
daughter, just as fast as she can understand it. 
We have talked for a long time of the baby 
flowers and birds and chickens and I have told 
you much about them. Do you remember the 
afternoon we tried to think what the world would 
be like if it had no babies at all in it? We both 
thought we would not like to live in such a world. 
Just a lot of grown up trees with no little 
baby trees around them; a lot of big birds with 
no baby birds stretching their hungry mouths 
to be fed; a yard full of hens and roosters and 
no tiny, fuzzy baby chickens running after their 
mothers. What a strange world it would be. 
You will remember we were watching our 
old biddy with her ten little black and gold 
babies, and you said, “Why mamma, old biddy 
would have nothing at all to do but just lay 
eggs for us, and eat and sleep; and she’d think 
it would be dreadfully pokey and lonesome, I 
know.” And then as we watched the birds 
building their nests in the big, hollow tree under 
the nursery window, a few days ago, you said, 
“There, mother, are Mr. and Mrs. Robin getting 
ready to live.” 
You said a very wise thing then my little 
girl, for We people, like the birds, are only getting 
ready to live when we are building our homes 158 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
and are preparing for the little ones that are 
coming to us to be taken care of. When we 
build our houses we make them not for ourselves 
alone, but as well for the little boys and girls 
that we hope are coming to live with us. What- 
ever do you think father and mother would do 
without our boys and our dear little daughter? 
You know that mother told you that baby 
trees and flowers grew from seeds that came from 
grown up trees and plants, and what pleasure 
we had in making our garden in the Spring, 
each year, and watching the baby plants grow. 
And when you first discovered the tiny blue eggs 
in the robin’s nest and I told you that wrapped 
in each shell was a baby robin that was growing 
there, kept warm by the mamma bird that sat 
on the nest day and night, you could hardly wait 
to see them pick out of the little hard “blankets,” 
as you called them. 
We could look right into the nest and when 
you heard a little peep one morning, you could 
not wait for mother to dress you, and we wrap- 
ped up in a shawl and sat in the window for an 
hour, watching the lady robin, as she looked so 
wise, with her head on one side listening to the 
baby voices under her wings. Once in a while 
she would help a little by picking a bit of the 
shell away, and then the tiny, wet, homely birdie WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
159 
rolled out of the shell and the mamma bird picked 
up the cast off blanket and threw it out of the 
nest and twittered love notes to her wee babies. 
You watched them grow, from the ugly little 
things they were at first, all mouth and wings 
and legs into pretty little downy birds that 
mother robin kept warm, while papa bird flew 
in and out of the nest with worms for them all. 
Do you remember how you laughed when papa 
bird sat on the nest one day and looked so im- 
portant and wise as he sent the mother away for 
a good fly in the nice warm sunshine, just as 
papa sometimes stays with you when we can’t 
all go together? 
Then next came the kittens and the rabbits 
and the dear little puppies. How you shouted 
when Snowball brought in a beautiful tiny white 
kitty one day and laid it down on the floor before 
mother, and ran out and brought in another and 
another until there were five little blind kitties 
calling for their mother. When she so proudly 
stretched herself out and began to purr, the 
kitties snuggled up to her and rooted around 
until they found their dinner, you thought there 
was nothing in the world quite so nice as baby 
kittens. 
Then a little later the rabbits and the puppies 
came in for their share of wonderment and pet- 160 
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ting. Then when your wise little head had done 
a deal of thinking, you came to me one day and 
said, “Mamma, where are the seeds that grow 
kitties and rabbits and puppies? I want to plant 
some and see them grow. I don’t think it was 
nice for Snowball and Bobtail and Queenie to 
make their gardens where I couldn’t see.” 
“Tell it over again.” 
Why, yes I shall, for we haven’t talked of 
it for a long time. You remember I told you 
that I couldn’t show you the seeds that grew 
these babies, as I could show you the seeds of 
the plants, because they were all wrapped up in 
the mamma’s bodies. They didn’t even lay them 
as the birds and chickens do, for the eggs are 
the seeds of the birds and chickens, and they 
lay them in the nests and sit on them to keep 
them warm until they hatch or are born. But 
with kittens and rabbits and puppies, the seeds 
for them are kept inside the mothers, in a soft 
little nest made just for them to grow in. 
After they have grown big enough to come 
into the world to live, a little door out of the 
nest is opened and they are born. No! you can’t 
see the little room, and even the little door is 
private. Some time when you get older mother 
can tell you more about it, but you cannot under- 
stand it now. After they are born these wise WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
161 
little mothers spend all their time taking care of 
their babies, teaching them how to live. 
Do all other animals grow in the same way? 
Yes, in just the same way, and the story of them 
is only a part of the great story of life, that I 
am telling you. 
Some of the fishes lay their eggs and they 
are hatched in warm, sheltered places and some 
keep the eggs in their bodies where they grow 
into little fishes and then are born as the kittens 
and puppies are born. 
Some day when we have a mamma fish for 
dinner, perhaps I can show you the seeds of 
the fishes, for there are a great many of them 
and we sometimes have them for a dish by them- 
selves. We call them roe. 
Don’t you see when the mothers carry their 
little ones in their bodies they take them with 
them wherever they go, and they never get cold 
or lost and are as safe as safe can be. Could any- 
thing have been nicer or planned more beauti- 
fully? 
The heavenly Father has thought of all the 
birds, and flowers, and trees, and animals, and 
has done everything for the best. 
The trees plant seeds every year and tiny 
trees grow from them; the flowers have new baby 
flowers springing up about them, and the birds 162 
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and fishes and animals have little ones just the 
same, and so there are old and young of all kinds 
of life to make the world more beautiful and 
attractive. 
Your picture books, your stories, your dollies, 
are each to make your knowledge of these great 
life questions more real and more helpful. 
Many children are not taught these things 
in the right way and so have wrong thoughts 
about them. Mother will teach her daughter all 
she should know and just as fast as she should 
know it, and you must always come to me when 
you want to know more about this great question 
of life, never go to others who perhaps do not 
know about it in the right way. 
As I have told you many times, these sub- 
jects are so sacred that they are not to be talked 
of in a careless and familiar way. Will you 
remember this ? And when you are playing wTith 
your little friends listen to nothing that you 
cannot tell to mother. Before you go to school 
I will have told you all you want to know, and 
the story will be unfolded as you grow older, 
and by the time you are a woman you will know 
the whole wonderful story. 
“Must you never talk of it with others?” 
No, there is no need for you to do so; but WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
163 
you will be thinking and learning as you bring 
all the questions to mother. 
The little seeds are in the ground covered 
closely when they begin to grow and the little 
birds and kittens and other animals are hidden 
away, guarded by their mothers. This great 
life story and all that belongs with it is too sacred 
to be seen and talked of everywhere. Mothers 
tell it to their children all alone by themselves. 
I think that is what the birdies must be saying 
when they twitter to their little ones, and the 
kitty when she is purring to her tiny babies. 
But this is enough for tonight. Tomorrow 
we will have more. CHAPTER XIV 
A Further Story of Beginnings 
Let us tonight go away back 
to the creation of the world, back 
to the garden of Eden, where 
this long, wonderful story had 
its beginning. You remember 
that when God made the world 
and all the trees, and plants, and 
beasts, and birds, and fishes, then he made man 
to rule over all these things. 
He made the first man, Adam, out of the 
dust of the ground, and Eve, his wife (Yes, I 
know you have learned all about it), from a rib 
taken from Adam’s side. But God had a more 
beautiful plan for those who should come after. 
If every one had been created this way there 
wouldn’t have been any homes. No papas work- 
ing for the mammas and the little ones and 
making homes for them, no dear little babies 
to be cuddled, no growing boys and girls to bring 
gladness into the homes, wouldn’t that have been 
a forlorn and lonesome old world? 
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But the wise Creator wanted it to be a happy 
world. He knew that babies and older children 
would bring love into the wrorld and make happy 
homes. I think He must have thought, “I’ll 
give Eve something to hoj)e for every day. I 
will promise her a little baby that will be a part 
of her very self, and like herself and Adam. I 
will make a tiny room in her body, not far away 
from her heart, and I will put a little egg in it, 
that will stay there nice and warm, and grow, 
and grow, for many days, nine long months; and 
all the while Eve will know about it and she will 
be thinking of that little baby that is coming, and 
will love it, and plan for it, and live for it.” 
“And Adam will take care of Eve and make 
a nice home for her and for the little one that 
is coming. In this way they will have something 
to look forward to with happiness, something to 
work for, and something to live for.” 
“Where did the little egg come from, and how 
did God put it in the tiny nest?” 
He made it grow in another very little room, 
called an ovary just a tiny way from the baby’s 
room, and made a little narrow hallway for the 
egg to pass through until it got into the larger 
room, called a uterus or womb, and found a safe 
corner to snuggle down in. Then a soft blanket 
wrapped it all in to keep it from getting lost, WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
167 
and stretched bigger and bigger, as the little 
room did, while the baby grew from this tiny 
egg into the big beautiful boy or girl that was 
getting ready to come and live with father and 
mother. 
“What did the baby eat to make it grow?” 
That is another wonderful part of this great 
story. You are not old enough to understand 
it all because you cannot even understand how 
your body grows now, but I will tell you as much 
as you can understand. 
Do you see these little blue threads all over 
your hands and arms and body ? These are called 
veins; and there are others deeper down where 
you cannot see them that we call arteries. If 
you should pick one of these veins the blood 
would come out of it. The blood flowing all 
through our bodies in the veins and arteries is 
what makes us grow. It is made out of the food 
we eat, but as the little baby cannot eat while 
it is shut up so close in its velvet room in mother’s 
body, some other way had to be planned for it 
to eat and grow. 
Right here at your little “dimple,” as you 
call it, but the right name is navel, a cord was 
fastened. This cord was just a vein and artery 
twisted together to carry blood. The other end 
of the cord spread out and grew to the side of 168 
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the room where you were to grow so snugly and 
warmly for those nine months. Then mother’s 
blood went right into the side of the room and 
through the little cord, and then all through the 
veins and arteries of your body and made it grow 
into the dear fat baby you were when I first 
saw you. 
“How did mother know you were there?” 
I can’t tell you exactly, but a sort of mother 
feeling came into her heart, and in a few weeks 
I saw that I was beginning to grow larger in 
my “stomach” as you call it; but the right name 
is abdomen, and it is below the stomach. 
Then one day mother felt a little tap on her 
side from within the room, and mother said, 
“Why, that’s the little baby that has grown so 
that it can reach out its hands and feet and legs 
and touch my side and let me know that it is 
there and is getting large enough to do some- 
thing.” Then after that nearly every day I felt 
your movements stronger and stronger, and I 
would say, “The dear baby is stretching its limbs 
and growing, and growing, and it will soon be 
here.” 
Mother was very careful of what she ate, 
that it should always be best for the baby. She 
took good care of herself that you might grow 
strong and healthy. And mother put out of her WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
169 
mind everything that would make her sad, for 
she wanted her baby to be a happy child. She 
lived as much out of doors as she could with the 
flowers and the sunshine, and I think that is the 
reason why my little girl loves all those things 
so much. Mothers can give their babies a great 
many things while they are carrying them about 
under their hearts, because children are so much 
a part of their mothers. 
I chose one name for my baby if it should 
be a little girl, and another if it should be a boy, 
so you see I was all ready. 
I cannot tell you how happy I was in those 
days, for I thought and planned so much for the 
little one. Brothers, except baby brother, knew 
all about it, for I had told them the story I am 
telling you now. They could hardly wait to see 
you. Every night at bed time, they would say, 
“Another day is gone, dear mother, and it won’t 
be long before we will have a baby all our own.” 
They loved to watch me make your clothes; 
and I let them help me all they could. Yes, they 
tied the comforts for your bassinet. William tied 
the pink one and Robert the blue one. Little 
brother was only two and a half then but he 
wanted to help, though he didn’t understand 
about it. 170 
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One day daddy went to the city, three or 
four months before you were born, and he wanted 
to bring home something for the wee one’s 
layette. Finally he thought of some little shirts. 
He asked the lady clerk in the store to show him 
some baby shirts. 
“How old is the baby?” she asked. Daddy 
couldn’t explain that you were not born yet, 
so he told her that you were a “mere infant,” 
and you were, weren’t you? 
How mother and brothers laughed when 
daddy told us of it, as he gave us the little silk 
and wool shirts for the box we were filling full 
of everything for the new baby we all loved, 
though we had never seen you. 
“Why, mamma, didn’t I see you taking all 
my things out of the box yesterday and putting 
them in a drawer in the chiffonier? What did 
you do that for? I love that box, ’cause it’s been 
mine so long. Can’t I have it for my dollies’ 
things?” 
No, dear, mother wants it for something bet- 
ter than that, and what do you suppose it is ? 
Oh, mamma! are we going to have another, 
really, truly baby of our own, and is that why 
you have been wearing those pretty, loose gowns 
with the ribbons on them, ’cause your dresses 
weren’t big enough for you and the baby too? WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
171 
Oh! I’m so happy, mother, so happy. Will it 
be as cunning and nice as Aunt Ruth’s baby? 
What a lot of questions. Let me begin with 
the first. Yes, we are going to have a really 
truly baby of our own, in about four months, 
and that is why mother wears these dresses all 
the time, to give the new baby a chance to grow 
without anything to hinder it. And you did 
see me clearing out the box, for I want to put 
a fresh cover on it, and line it all new for the 
little, wee baby’s things, which you are going to 
help mother make. 
Yes, we will let the boys help too. They 
have been waiting anxiously for mother to tell 
her little girl about it, so we could all talk about 
it together and help together. 
Come here, darling, and put your hand on 
mother’s side. What do you feel? 
Oh, mamma, is that the little baby moving 
about? I ’spect it’s awful uncomfy in that tiny 
room and wants to get here as fast as it can. Oh, 
however can we wait for it? 
The time will fly by while we are getting all 
its clothes ready. We must have a new bassinet 
too, for mother gave yours to Aunt Ruth when 
you got too big for it. I am going to let you 
help me in everything you can. You may hem 
the napkins, all of them, if you want to, and you 172 
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and the boys can do a great many other things 
together. 
Then I am going to let you all choose names 
and we will select the one we all like best. You 
will have to choose boys’ and girls’ names too, 
for we don’t know which it will be. 
Yes, mother thinks she would like to have it 
another baby daughter, then you would have a 
playmate as brothers have. 
You must be a very good little girl, because 
mother doesn’t always feel quite well, and her 
big girl can help her in many ways. You and 
brothers are going to help daddy take care of 
mother all these days, so that nothing will hurt 
the new baby that’s coming. 
Yes, I will tell you when I don’t feel well, 
and let you take care of me. No, mother doesn’t 
mind one bit, the not feeling quite well, for it 
makes her think of the joy that’s coming into the 
home, and it seems a very small part of the price 
we have to pay for the dear children. 
“Do they cost us something?” Yes, a big 
price, but we think they are worth it and pay 
it gladly. We shall talk about that very soon 
and I shall try to make you understand how 
much it costs and why. 
Now it’s bedtime again and we have had 
another happy visit, and there will be many more 
of them all along our lives, mother hopes. Fireside Fairies. CHAPTER XV 
The Price of the Baby 
I know you have been wondering 
why we should have had to pay anything 
for our babies and to whom we paid 
the big price. I think you will under- 
stand all about it as mother tells you. 
In the first place, when we build our homes 
we make room for the little children that we 
hope and expect will come. Here we make the 
first money payment for the babies. I said 
money payment, for only a small part of what 
the little ones cost us is expressed in money. If 
people are wise they begin away back in their 
childhood to prepare for the children that will 
be theirs sometime. To do this they must build 
their own characters carefully. They must deny 
themselves many things. They must grow good 
and strong. In this way they begin early to 
pay a part of the price for the babies. Even a 
little girl like my daughter ought to think of 
this, and should gladly do all she can to be strong 
and good. Then she may be sure of her children. 
If a little girl has a quick temper she should 
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work hard to control it, for she should think, “I 
would not like to give that to a little child of 
mine.” 
Boys, like brothers, should say, I can never 
help make my little children good, if I am not 
good myself. I will do nothing that would make 
me weak or tempt me to do or think wrong 
things. I will never use tobacco or drink intoxi- 
cating liquors. Such habits will not make me 
strong, and besides the best men do not do these 
things. 
Early in this life of self-sacrifice we begin 
to pay the price, and all the time we are getting 
richer ourselves, in strength and goodness. Then 
when we become men and women and have homes 
of our own and know that the babies are coming 
we begin to prepare things for their comfort. 
The nursery must be made one of the pleasantest 
rooms in the house, and this costs money. Then 
there are the little clothes, the bassinet and the 
baby carriage. All these things cost money, but 
we are so glad to give it. 
However, the greatest part of the price is not 
in money, and mother has this to pay. When 
you had grown so big that the velvet room in 
mother’s body was too small for you, and your 
body was fully grown for a baby, you could not 
stay there any longer. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
175 
The door through which you have to come 
into the world, must be shut very tight to keep 
you in while you are growing. Its opening costs 
mother a great deal of pain; but it makes us love 
our babies more, and we are willing to bear it 
for them. 
Sometimes it takes a whole day and night 
and sometimes longer, and at other times it takes 
only a few hours for the little door to stretch 
large enough for the big tine baby to come 
through; and the mammas cry out with the hard 
pain, which comes every few minutes all that 
time; but when the little red, sweet baby is put 
into mother’s arms, and she hugs it up to her in 
its rosy softness and helplessness, thinking it is 
her baby, she forgets the pain she has borne in 
her great love for it. 
Yes, mother was sick for ten long hours 
before you were born, but your love has made up 
for it all. And papa suffered too, because he 
could not bear to see mother in so much pain that 
he could not share, and it made the tears run 
down his cheeks, he felt so sorry. 
Fathers pay the larger part of their price 
by going out into the world and working hard 
for their wives and children. We can’t put a 
money price on this suffering and work you see, 
and we don’t count it anything if our children 176 
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are good for they can pay it all back, and more, 
in this way. 
Don’t cry, dear. This one hug from her 
little girl, and these sorry tears pay mother for 
all the pain; and you must be so good and 
thoughtful for dear papa that you can show him 
you understand how much he is doing for you. 
Then there is more of the money price. The 
extra help that we must have in the house when 
mother is not able to do what she usually does, 
and when the little ones come mothers are so 
tired for several weeks that they cannot do all 
in taking care of them, and there must be a 
nurse to look after both mother and the baby; 
and then the doctor must be paid to see that 
everything is all right and that mamma will be 
well and strong when she is able to be up again. 
So that you can see that the money price paid 
for our babies is not small, and all the rest can 
never he estimated in money. 
Then think of the care through all of child- 
hood and as you grow to manhood and woman- 
hood; of the sick days and nights that mother 
and father must nurse you through; of the food, 
and clothing, and educating, and you will see 
that there is much more to be added to the cost 
of our children; but parents do not think of this WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
177 
unless the boy or girl grows up careless and does 
not do right. 
“Oh, mamma: I never thought how much 
we all cost you, and I didn’t know that you had 
to suffer so for us. I really don’t think we are 
worth it. But I will try harder than ever to be 
good and to help you every day.” 
I know you will, darling, and when you grow 
to be a fine looking woman we shall think you 
have paid it all back a thousand times over. I 
am sure, knowing that you have cost us some- 
thing of suffering, will make you tender and 
thoughtful all your years. 
“Can I begin to get ready now so that my 
children will be better?” 
Yes, dear: for your little children will be 
like you and want to do just what you do, and 
your habits are being fixed now. If you are care- 
less and naughty while you are a little and groAv- 
ing girl, you are likely to be a careless and 
thoughtless woman, and in this way your children 
will find it harder to be good. 
Don’t you know how careful we are to take 
our gernanium slips from a healthy plant and 
one that has beautiful blossoms. We save only 
the seeds of the biggest, healthiest and most 
beautiful flowers to plant the next year, because 
the new plants will be like their parents. 178 
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The farmer saves for planting only the finest 
and most perfect ears of corn. If he doesn’t we 
call him a careless farmer, and expect him to 
get poor crops that will not pay for the labor. 
Men who raise horses try very hard to have 
mothers that are very kind and gentle in dis- 
position, and they insist that the grooms treat 
them very kindly so that the baby colts will be 
gentle and easily controlled. Don’t you remem- 
ber how fine the mother of Black Beauty was, 
and how very carefully her master treated her, 
and how much Black Beaut}7 was like his 
mother? If Queenie was a cross and snappy 
dog we would expect her puppies to be so too; 
or if Snowball was a scratchy and ugly cat her 
kittens would be likely to be scratchy and ugly. 
So you see how carefully you should be all 
the while you are growing to womanhood so 
that you can be the best mother possible. 
We get dollies for our children to teach them 
how to love and care for their real children. 
Will you remember this when you are playing 
with your dolls, and think, “I am going to do 
for them just as I will do for my really truly 
babies when I am a woman? 
I overheard a little girl say a few days ago, 
to her dolly, “If you don’t keep still I’ll break 
every bone in your body.” What sort of a WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
179 
mother do you think she will be if she does not 
change and stop all such talk? 
No, my dear, it was not you. I should feel 
very badly if I heard my daughter speak like 
that; and I think I should take all her dolls 
away, until I thought she had learned how to 
speak to them kindly and lovingly. 
Every time mother feels the stirrings of life 
of the new baby, she prays that she may be good 
so that her baby may be a dear happy child, just 
as I prayed before you were born, and you have 
been a great comfort to mother, my darling. 
Already brothers are beginning to plan and 
work with father for us all, and this is what 
makes family life so beautiful. But we must 
never forget while we are so happy, to try and 
make those about us who are not as fortunate 
as we are, happier and better. We should ever 
keep in mind our duty to the community in 
which we live, and to the city and our great 
country; for all these are made up of our homes, 
and if we make our homes all that they should be, 
the city and nation will be better. 
Little people can have a part in this, for if 
they are good they will help to make those about 
them better. If they are careless and thought- 
less others will follow their example. 180 
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So you see, little daughter, that it means a 
great deal to live. To live aright, each should 
think of others and what they can do to help 
them. Human beings differ from the beasts, 
the birds and the fishes in their love of others 
and in their willingness to help each other. We 
must be as good as possible ourselves or our 
words will have no effect. 
Another thing which is very important, that 
I want my child to learn while she is young, is 
self control. What do I mean? This; when 
you feel impatient say to yourself, “I am not 
going to be cross, for real ladies and gentlemen 
do not let themselves show anger. I want to 
be a real lady, and so must master myself. 
When I feel like pouting or cannot have the 
things I want I will remember this. When I 
am selfish or naughty in any way, I will say to 
all these bad spirits, “I don’t want anything to 
do with you, so you would better go away. I 
am going to be master of myself and will not let 
you be my master.” 
This, my little daugher, is self-control. Do 
you understand now what it means? As you 
grow older you will find there are many other 
things which you must control; but, you see, if 
you master them as fast as you know them you 
will be master of all. The better you mind WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
181 
mother and father the easier you will learn self- 
mastery; or to put it in another way, the more 
perfectly you mind the better will you make your 
habits mind you. 
What is habit? Habit is doing something 
over and over so many times that you do it with- 
out thinking, that is, it becomes a habit, good or 
bad. Good habits we want to cultivate, but the 
bad we must be careful about. 
The oftener you do a thing the easier it 
becomes to do it. We grow exactly like the 
habits we are forming. If we are forming good 
habits we are good, if bad habits we are becom- 
ing bad. 
Let us think for a few moments, of your cost 
to father and mother in the after years. How 
much do you think it would cost to have you 
taken care of somewhere else through all your 
growing years? How much do you think your 
clothing would amount to, your food, education, 
travel and other expenses? You could hardly 
be expected to estimate it. All this is a labor of 
love, yet it does good sometimes to think of these 
things. You know now what a cost you dear 
ones are to the fathers and mothers of the land. 
Under the circumstances you cannot do less than 
the very best you know how, and so reward us 
for what we have so gladly done. 182 
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I think if careless and naughty boys and 
girls were made to think of these things more of 
them would try to be better. What do you think 
of it, my little girl? CHAPTER XVI 
A Word to Parents 
The First Question.—Thus far 
the first questioning of the child, 
“Mamma, where did I come from?” has 
been answered. The lesson has not yet 
been taught that the ovum which makes the child, 
the bird, or the animal, or the seed which grows 
the plant, must be made fruitful by the gift of 
the father animal or plant. This part of the 
lesson comes legitimately in later years when 
the child is more mature and will not be so likely 
to be filled with a prurient curiosity, unguarded 
by reserve, which the child knows nothing about. 
As it grows older and the innate modesty 
develops, it will receive this teaching healthfully 
and naturally, and will, as well, not be as likely 
to speak of it unguardedly or brood over the 
mystery of things, that it is as well it should not 
be thinking of in earlier life. 
Keep Your Child’s Confidence.—There 
will be several years when children, satisfied of 
their origin, will question but little. The parent, 
however, will need to keep them closely in their 
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confidence and know their thoughts. They must 
hedge off any wrong knowledge, and they must 
be prepared to enlighten them at the proper 
time. 
Health.—In these years the health lessons 
which are so necessary should be made much of, 
and nature study, in insect and plant life, will 
furnish much food for thought and keep the 
mind from brooding over things which are not 
suited to its years or understanding. 
It is a wonderful safeguard that the child 
be so closely occupied with other useful things, 
other interests that absorb the awakening mind, 
that there is little time or thought about those 
matters that are not best for it in these years. A 
busy life is as necessary to a child as to an adult 
and will keep it from many a snare and the 
parents from many a worry. 
Boy Scouts and Gamp Fire Girls.—The 
organizations of the Boy Scouts and the Camp 
Fire Girls are fine at this time in life. The long 
hikes and new interests awaken the growing 
mind and strengthen the physical while it gives 
a wholesome bent to the surplus energy which 
might otherwise be spent in mischief. The 
familiar talks by the scout masters give many 
an opportunity for the useful character building 
lessons so much needed. The splendid truths WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
185 
inculcated in their declaration of object and aim, 
which must be subscribed to and make a part of 
the life, are invaluable and cannot fail in doing 
lasting good. 
Daily Home Tasks should be as much a part 
of child life as of later years, and in their being 
held rigidly to such tasks many an idle hour will 
be filled and the child given a foundation for 
future usefulness. There is at the present time 
a semi-revival of some of the old time homely 
tasks for girls in the crochet work so elaborate, 
the tatting and the quilt piecing, even the in- 
tricate rose and rising sun patterns of fifty years 
ago. It is far better that a girl should cut out 
perfectly good pieces and sew them together 
again rather than give her time to frivolity. 
“Infinitely better to do the simplest or most use- 
less thing in the world than to be an idler,” de- 
clares a wise man, and piecing quilts does much 
more than this. The lessons in thrift, in sewing, 
in precision, and in patience are fixed, while mind 
and fingers are kept busy. 
Boys should not be left out of the house pro- 
gram, for they too need the steadying which reg- 
ular tasks engender. 
Nowhere can the mother teach so well the 
valuable lessons which boys and girls must have 
as when the children are occupied with her about 186 
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the every day duties which make home the blessed 
place it should be. 
The value of these home tasks is well under- 
stood by teachers for many schools are giving 
credits for them when they are reported. 
Complete the Family Circle.—So dividing 
the work of the home we are in much less danger 
of losing the distinctive bond which should unite 
all the members of the household into one com- 
plete circle, marred if a single member is left 
out or perform the duty assigned poorly. Noth- 
ing better than this oneness of interest can be 
found to hold the boys and the girls in the 
charmed circle of home away from the snares that 
lurk in the outside places. 
Social Questions.—In the home the great 
social questions that affect the happiness of 
families and the race in general should be brought 
up for discussion. In no way will a child get 
such keen vision and such wise discernment as 
when looking through a wise and alert parent’s 
eyes. They should be taught the dangers to be 
avoided, the evils to be shunned. They must he 
taught patriotism of the highest kind, namely, 
right living for one’s country and their high duty 
to be so building character now that they may 
be prepared in their later years to do their part 
in making better and happier the race. With WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
187 
their minds filled with these higher things there 
will be less room and less danger that they will 
give entrance to the things that destroy. 
Right Knowledge vs. Wrong.—Do you say 
that it seems hardly fair to burden the mind of 
the boy or girl in their care-free days with these 
serious views of life? Ah, but you don’t. They 
will get the knowledge if you do not give it to 
them. It is far better that they get right con- 
ceptions than that they get distorted and 
smirched views from outsiders. It is far less 
serious to rightly inform them of the world as 
it is, and so prepare them to face it with courage 
than to leave them to follow in the train of the 
ignorant who dare life’s dangers and pitfalls. 
Thoughtful parents will understand that right 
teaching will be a safeguard to their children, 
even though it may open their eyes to evils con- 
cerning which we would gladly keep them in 
ignorance. 
To Train Citizens is the Work of Parent- 
hood.—Children cannot be properly trained un- 
less given a knowledge of all that they must meet 
in the coming years. Such intelligent knowledge 
will make them in turn wise leaders. Those who 
have learned in childhood how to cope with the 
difficulties of life make the wisest and bravest 
men. and women, the ones who accomplish most 188 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
in the work of the world. This sort of training 
demands that the parents be growing parents 
who are keeping abreast of the times themselves 
and are sorting the knowledge wisely for their 
children. 
No Daily Paper comes into your home that 
does not suggest subjects for wise talks, with even 
the very young children, talks that will be re- 
membered in all the after years. Fathers and 
mothers, hark back to your own childhood and 
think of some of the things you so desired to 
know, but that nobody would tell you. Remem- 
ber then that you were given to your child for 
just this teaching. It will save many a boy and 
girl from bad companions and hold them to you 
in confidence. 
The Years of Adolescence begin anywhere 
from twelve to fifteen years of age, with girls 
earlier than with boys, but the teaching must 
begin as early in both cases as the boys are earlier 
subjected to temptations. Parents must be pre- 
pared to give all the knowledge the children will 
so greatly need at this time. These are the les- 
sons of approaching manhood and womanhood. 
Parenthood.—At this time the further ques- 
tions of parenthood will arise. The father’s rela- 
tion to his children must be taught and his in- 
fluence in their lives emphasized. In school life Digging Muscle and Nerve in the Sunshine of Life. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
189 
there will be many lessons which can be sup- 
plemented in the home; lessons in early botany, 
in elementary zoology and in biology. Quiet 
talks with mother and father will mean more to 
the child than can be measured, and every op- 
portunity should be seized to fix thought or im- 
plant a great truth in the mind of the child. 
Here is soil all prepared with few weeds to be 
uprooted. 
Preparedness.—If you have been wise you 
have been preparing them for these talks and 
they will come to you with an eagerness bom of 
right teaching, not with morbid curiosity. 
Mother and father have never failed them yet, 
and never will, and they look to them reverently 
for this further vision of life and its duties, with 
a clean mind and real desire to make the most 
of the teaching and to avoid the wrong things 
that may be heard on every hand. Children, 
like adults, get about what they are looking for 
in life, and hear what their ears are attuned to. 
A musical ear dreads the discords and will not 
listen to them if it is possible to avoid it. Just 
so a child trained to appreciate the clean will 
hate the vile and filthy things to which it would 
otherwise be tempted to listen. The innate mod- 
esty and manliness and womanliness will likewise 
be developed and will surround the child with a 190 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
wall of protection that can be built in no other 
way. 
Finally let me say to parents, it is your duty 
to gather about you in these informative years of 
your children, a library that will furnish you with 
material for this teaching and which will teach 
you how to impart the knowledge advantage- 
ously. So environed and taught your children 
will rise up to call you blessed and to be a bless- 
ing. CHAPTER XVII 
Father 
Now you are old enough for an- 
other part of the wonderful life story 
and we will begin it tonight. Let us 
go back to plant and lower animal life 
for the beginning of this part of the story as 
we have before. 
In plants there is no such thing as family 
life, though botany talks of plant families. That 
simply means they are of the same kind, as roses 
and pansies and all other flowers and plants. 
We like to think of them as loving and caring 
for their babies and sometimes speak of them in 
that way, but that is because we are thinking of 
how mothers and fathers, who can think, care 
for their children. 
Little baby plants have to get along the best 
they can and the mother can do nothing for 
them after she has furnished the seed for them 
to grow from. Many of the lower animals and 
fishes have no care for their little ones after 
the eggs are laid or the little ones are separated 
from their mothers. 
191 192 
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As you go higher up in animal life you find 
mothers and fathers making provisions for their 
babies, specially the mothers that suckle their 
young. But as we understand family life, the 
plants and lower animals know nothing of it. 
The little ones never know to whom they belong. 
Can you think what that would mean in the 
human family? Yes, it would be something like 
the poor children at the Orphan’s Home. Many 
of the children there never knew a father or 
mother and will never know to whom they be- 
long. 
In all but the lowest forms of plant and ani- 
mals, both the father and mother plant or animal 
have something to do with the making of new 
beings like themselves. In all creation the new 
or baby plants or animals are made from very 
small parts of their parents’ bodies. 
You have learned of the mother’s part in 
cherishing the little men and women-to-be. And 
you have learned it in the stories of the birds 
and kittens, the dogs and the rabbits. You have 
learned how the mother of the plant or animal 
carried the little ones in prepared places within 
themselves until they layed their eggs or the little 
new being was able to begin its independent life. 
All this you have understood, but of the prepara- 
tion of the seed or egg you have not learned. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
193 
As has been said, there are,fathers and moth- 
ers, or as we say, male and female, plant and 
animals; and in the full preparation of the seed 
that begins the little new being, there is a part 
that both the father and mother must give to 
the new creation. 
When you study botany you will learn how 
to distinguish the male and female plants, be- 
cause they are quite different. Around the cen- 
ter of the father blossoms you will see at the 
end of tiny stalks, called stamens, little balls of 
soft downy dust in their own nests. These are 
called the anther cells, and this dust that seems 
so simple and hardly to be noticed is, after all, 
very important. It must be united with the part 
for the beginning of life contained in the mother 
flower to make the new plant. 
In some plants both the male and the female 
exist in the same plant, usually, however, they 
are found in separate beings. On the mother 
flower you will see, if you examine it carefully, 
that there is in the center a tiny tube, larger 
at the bottom than at the top, and this tube, 
called a pistil, contains the part which the mother 
plant contributes to the making of a new life like 
itself. 
When the pollen, or dust, from the father 
flower is brought into contact with the seed of 194 
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the pistil, it is then ready to begin the growth 
of the new plant. Neither can start life alone. 
We call these parts of the plants their reproduc- 
tive organs, because their work is to produce 
new begins like themselves. As plants have no 
reason and cannot move about as they would 
wish, they must have some assistance in scatter- 
ing their pollen, or dust, on the mother plant. 
Here new workers are called in to help. Some- 
times it is the wind which blows the pollen dust 
from one plant to the other, and sometimes it is 
the bees gathering honey from the flowers. As 
they suck the honey from the blossoms some of 
the plant dust sticks to their legs and bodies, 
and as they go to another plant in search of 
sweets this is rubbed off and so the parts of the 
father and mother plant get together and the 
seed is made fertile. 
Some of the seeds which we plant in our 
gardens do not come up when we plant them, 
and that is because they are not fertile. 
In animals, and fishes, and birds, and in the 
human family this is different, for they can move 
about as they wish. They have been made to take 
care of all this by themselves. 
The mother fish, as you know, does not carry 
her young in her body. She lays her eggs in a 
nice sheltered place and then goes off about her WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
195 
eating and living just as before. Then a papa 
fish who perhaps she has never seen comes along 
and expels from his body a fluid that covers the 
little eggs, laid by the mother fish, and then they 
begin to grow. It almost seems as if he thought 
when he discovers them: “Here is some work 
for me to do,” and so he swims over them and 
fertilizes them. In some cases the father fish 
stays by and watches the little eggs to see that 
no harm comes to them until they are hatched 
and grown large enough to swim away and take 
care of themselves. And all this time the mother 
knows nothing about them. She would not know 
her own babies should she meet them anywhere 
in the stream. You would hardly like to have 
this so with human mothers, would you? 
There are fishes that live in pairs and seem 
to make a sort of family like the higher animals. 
In the birds and animals and in the human 
family the little egg, or beginning of life in the 
mother, must also have the part from the father 
to make it grow, but with this difference. The 
father part and mother part must come together 
inside the mother’s body, and the father bird or 
animal comes close to the mother and sends into 
her body from his reproductive organs this fluid 
that will make the little egg start to grow. Yes, 
it enters through the little door out of which the 196 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
egg will come or through which the little baby 
animal is born when it has grown to perfection 
in the mother. 
You have been told about the various organs 
of the body and the part they have to perform 
in your life day by day. You have learned of 
the brain and how it presides over the whole body 
and directs it in everything; of the heart and of 
what a patient, untiring worker it is, never stop- 
ping for a minute, day or night, but beating, 
beating so regularly all the time, taking only the 
little rests between beats, and by its constant 
work feeding the body that it may grow and 
work; the work which the lungs do is to breathe 
the pure air which fills the lungs when it meets 
the impure blood and makes it pure. So each 
organ of the body has its own peculiar work and 
must do it and not be diverted to a task which 
does not belong to it, or its own work will be 
neglected. 
All this is repeated in substance in plant 
life. The leaves of the plant take the place of 
the lungs and breathe to give it life; the roots, 
the bark, the body of the tree or plant all do 
their own particular work. But in the human 
family we have reached the highest development, 
for we have reason and choice which controls all 
that we do. In this way much more can be WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
197 
accomplished than in the life that is not endowed 
with reason and choice. That more is not accom- 
plished only proves that mankind does not always 
use these God-given powers wisely. 
Your organs of reproduction are sacred to 
the great work for which they were planned. 
They must be taken care of and guarded for 
this work and this alone. While you are young 
you need to think little about them save as you 
care for and keep clean your entire body. Only 
when you grow to womanhood will you need to 
think of them more; for then, as you have 
learned, these organs develop and are able to 
take their part in reproduction. 
All this knowledge will make you feel how 
sacred this great subject of life-giving is, and 
will make you unwilling to listen to anything 
which is said in a slighting and wrong way about 
it. 
Many children have not been taught these 
great truths in a right way and in their desire 
to learn all about the beginnings of life, they 
will seek information from those who are not 
able to teach them and who, because of the mys- 
tery of it all, have mixed evil with the thought 
of it. You should not listen to the talk about 
it from such untaught people. 
Frances Willard, that beautiful woman who 198 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
did so much for the world, was very urgent in 
her teaching that mothers should give their chil- 
dren all this information that they might be saved 
from wrong knowledge given by those who were 
unfit to teach. She tells of her own experience 
in this. Not attending school until she was four- 
teen because of her sheltered life on their secluded 
farm, she was left in ignorance of all life’s mys- 
teries. She says this is the only thing which she 
felt her dear mother lacked in her teaching. 
On first going to school an older girl who 
had learned life’s lessons in an unclean and wrong 
way, unfolded to her the great life story. Miss 
Willard adds that she blushed ever after when 
the thoughts presented to her that day came to 
her mind. In later years she had to divest her 
mind of this improper teaching before she could 
think of these truths properly and in sacredness. 
Just so many boys learn from ignorant com- 
panions when their parents have not taught them. 
iYou have more to be thankful for than you now 
realize. You have been taught in the proper 
way, and you can always talk over these things 
with mother. She tells you all you want to know 
and there will be no need to go to others for such 
information. 
I am sure, taught as you have been, you will 
discourage wrong talk about this sacred subject. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
199 
When all children are rightly taught, as we hope 
they will be in a few years, we shall see a different 
condition in our schools. In nearly every school 
there are children who have, because of ignorance, 
begun to think wrong thoughts. This is why I 
do not wish you to listen to them and you can 
always say, “I know all about it, for mother has 
told me and I don’t care to talk about it with any- 
one else.” 
God has given all girls and boys a natural 
modesty about these question that makes them 
unwilling to talk of them or to listen to wrong 
thoughts about them. I want you to keep and 
cultivate this modesty. It will shield you from 
much sin. Never be willing to listen to what 
you would be unwilling to tell mother, and your 
ears will be closed to all uncleanness. 
Every organ of the body must be thought of 
with honor and respect and then we shall take 
the right care of it. Read what God says of the 
body, in the 12th chapter of 1st Corinthians, 
and you will see how we should regard every 
member. 
“But now hath God set the members every 
one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. 
And if they were all one member, where were 
the body? But now are they many members, 
but one body. And the eye cannot say unto the 200 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
hand, I have no need of thee; nor again the 
head of the feet, I have no need of you. Nay 
much more these members which we think to be 
less honorable, upon these we bestow more abun- 
dant honor; and our uncomely parts have more 
abundant comeliness. For our comely parts 
have no need; but God hath tempered the body 
together, having given more abundant honor to 
that which lacked; that there should be no schism 
in the body; but that the members should have 
the same care one for another. And whether 
one member suffer all the members suffer with 
it; or one member be honored, all the members 
rejoice with it.” 
This will help you to regard your entire 
body in the light God intended and you cannot 
neglect any part of it or think of it in a wrong 
way. Remember, too, what God has planned 
we should not consider wrong, or allow ourselves 
to think or hear wrong about it. This too will 
lead you to see that this great faculty of repro- 
duction is a wonderful thing with which the hu- 
man family has been entrusted and that it should 
be sacredly guarded. 
God in the beginning created all things, and 
then he gave to these creatures the wonderful 
task of creating other beings like themselves. 
We should think of it only as a great sacred duty, WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
201 
and thank God that he has so trusted us, his 
children. 
Later on I will show you how wrong thoughts 
becoming mixed with this wonderful subject have 
made a great deal of sin in the world, sin that can 
only be gotten rid of by a right understanding 
of all our faculties and of their sacredness. 
You have been taught the proper and clean 
names for the reproductive organs that you may 
think of them as you do of all other parts of the 
body. Many children never know clean names 
for these organs and the unclean names which 
they may have heard from untaught companions 
have fastened in their minds the thought that 
they must always be connected with evil. You 
know that they are just as honorable as any other 
part of the body and must be thought of in pur- 
ity. You can speak of them to mother or father 
as you would of your hands or feet or face, and 
do not need to blush when you think of them. CHAPTER XVIII 
Development 
If ever parents need an unusual 
stock of wisdom and patience they 
will need it in the years which usher 
the boy and girl into manhood and 
womanhood. They will need to 
make a careful study of all that this age means 
and apply their wisdom wisely if they keep 
within reach of their children and encompass 
them with loving protection. 
Preparedness.—The mother should be pre- 
pared to talk with her daughters and the father 
with his sons to help them get acquainted with 
the new and complex self which is developing. 
We will give a suggestive talk for parents, to 
be changed according to the varying dispositions 
of those under their care. 
My daughter, you are just crossing the 
threshold of womanhood now and there are many 
more questions for you to be concerned about. 
The chiefest among these lessons is the more in- 
timate knowledge of self. Many people every 
203 204 
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year make shipwreck of life because of a lack of 
self-knowledge. 
* 
“To know thyself, in other’s self-concern; 
Wouldst thou know others? Read thyself and 
learn!” 
So says the poet Schiller very wisely, for we 
cannot learn to measure others fairly until we 
have mastered ourselves. 
We have been put into this world for a great 
and wise purpose, and we needs must know our 
adaptability for the work for which we were 
planned. Nothing in all the world is quite so 
wonderful as these bodies of ours. To know their 
every part and the purpose for which each part 
was intended, is to start with a capital which 
promises success in the business of living. Not 
to know is a handicap which makes the work a 
difficult one and the results fall short of what 
they should have been. 
The day is past, my child, when wise parents 
shield their child from knowledge of their own 
natures, even though the getting of such wisdom 
is to open their eyes to many things of which we 
would fain keep them in ignorance. When, how- 
ever, such ignorance opens dangerous ways the 
child’s future is in peril. Good Golf Timber. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
205 
There is nothing more beautiful than a young 
girl standing at the parting of the ways between 
girlhood and womanhood. Full of wonder and 
questioning, a rosy future before her, she is all 
hope and gladness and life seems a fair and 
wondrous thing to her. 
If she has been fortunate in her mother and 
teachers she has the right vision of what lies 
before her. While it is all to be experienced she 
has no fear but looks out with readiness to under- 
take all that may come her way and of course 
she “will conquer.” 
Although physically she is not rounded out 
and perfected as woman, yet the stirrings of 
womanhood are making themselves felt. She is 
full of question and desire to understand all that 
lies before her. 
You have nearly reached your fourteenth 
year and have noticed that your form is round- 
ing out, and that your bust is enlarging. If you 
have been developing as a healthy girl should and 
not feeding on foolish thoughts, you have been 
fortunate. Many girls spoil their young girl- 
hood by anticipating later womanhood. They 
allow themselves to think of boys and seek the 
things which belong to eighteen and twenty in- 
stead of fourteen. 206 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
You perhaps do not know what a wonderful 
change is going on in your entire system at this 
time nor how carefully you should guard your 
growth lest this development be interfered with. 
As great as have been the external changes 
in your form at this time, still greater changes 
have been going on in your body out of sight. 
Organs that heretofore have been simply growing 
to maturity, are now about to assert themselves. 
At the same time and in connection with the 
growth of these organs a substance little under- 
stood, until these later years, has been forming 
in your body that has much to do with your 
rounded and perfect development. This sub- 
stance, so mysterious and unseen, can be diverted 
from the use intended, and wasted if too early 
the girl plunges into society with all its tempta- 
tions and dissipations. Living the happy, care 
free life, a girl should, keeping early hours and 
seeing just enough of society to recreate and 
not dissipate, she will come into her blooming 
womanhood, which is so admirable, and be well 
prepared for the experience of her later years. 
Rosy cheeked, quick, alert, bright eyed and 
unaffected, she is the charming girl we are all 
delighted to see. How different the one who has 
been allowed by unwise parents to imagine her- 
self a young woman and has entered into pleas- WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
207 
ures and amusements that sap her strength and 
fill her mind with thoughts that rob her of the 
sweet guilelessness. Soon she will become the 
drooping, lusterless eyes, sallow skinned, flabby 
fleshed, old, young girl, who needs must resort 
to paint and powder to stimulate as far as pos- 
sible the blooming creature she ought to be. 
Does it pay, do you think, girls? Never! and 
through all your life you will regret it. Life will 
soon lose its charm for you and you will be blase 
before you have gotten out of your teens. 
You have learned in your school physiology 
of all the organs of the body save these that are 
now developing, viz., the organs of generation, 
which distinguish you as woman. 
Within the bony pelvis, below the abdomen, 
lie these organs, five in number, which you should 
now know about. The largest of these is a pear 
shaped body, and at your age, not larger than a 
medium sized pear. This organ, called the uterus 
or womb, is suspended with the small end down- 
ward and the body, or large part, above, covered 
by folds of the peritoneum, the enveloping mem- 
brane of the abdomen. The uterus is placed 
when natural at an angle of about forty-five 
degrees, with the large part pointing upward and 
forward and the smaller part downward and 
backward. This is not fastened securely in place 208 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
as many other organs of the body are, for reasons 
which you shall learn later. 
On either side of the uterus and toward the 
lower part are two small bodies called the ovaries, 
and leading from these to the uterus are two 
small tubes called the fallopian tubes. Can you 
get the picture of these very important organs 
and their situation from my description? 
These are the internal organs of generation, 
and leading from them outward is a passage 
called the vagina. The two folds of tissue which 
enclose and protect this opening are called labia, 
and between them, above the opening of the 
vagina, is the urethra or the outlet of the bladder. 
You need to know these right names because 
you should have terms in which to think and speak 
properly of them. No impure thoughts should 
be allowed to be connected with these wonderful 
organs, for they are the part of the body which 
connect us most closely with divinity and crea- 
tion. Theirs is the work of procreation, or the 
making of new life like ourselves. 
In the ovaries, as within the ovaries of plants, 
are generated the germs which are the beginning 
of the new lives. These germs are called ova, 
meaning eggs. From the ovaries they pass 
through the fallopian tubes and are thrown off WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
209 
each month of your young womanhood, after you 
have matured. 
By maturity is meant the approach of the 
menses, which will be explained later. 
With all these changes which have been de- 
scribed there are others affecting the entire body. 
The whole physical and mental being sympa- 
thizes with the development of these organs of 
generation. You have noticed uncomfortable 
feelings which you could not understand, you 
have been fretful and impatient sometimes, very 
unlike your old sunny, care-free self, and it has 
troubled you as it has those who love you most. 
Your parents have understood the cause of this 
difference if you have not. As in any other great 
change it takes you some time to become adjusted 
and so there is not that poise and evenness in 
your disposition which there will be when you 
have reached your full growth. Judgment and 
reason are not yet sure masters of the body and 
all its maturing faculties. You see you have to 
become acquainted with yourself in this new 
growth and with all that this development means. 
This is the time when you will need your 
mother and her counsel most, and you will be 
wise and come to her with all your mysteries and 
perplexities. With her counsel, they will be 210 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
straightened out and you will begin to under- 
stand. 
Your nervous system must become adjusted 
to take upon itself the new tasks of your woman- 
hood. In becoming adjusted it is like an over- 
worked and confused person that has not yet 
grown accustomed to the new duties, hence the 
impatience and fretfulness. Your circulation 
must also undergo a change, for a fuller blood 
supply must be sent to the internal reproductive 
organs which I have just described. 
Every month in your young womanhood, 
after the menses have become established, there 
will be a flow of blood from the uterus, which 
is not yet needed, and so will be thrown off. This 
flow of blood is termed the menses. In your 
wifehood, when you are to nourish a new life, 
this blood will be retained to feed the tiny grow- 
ing being you are cradling in your body; for as 
you have learned in our earlier talks the little 
new life must be nourished by the blood of the 
mother, while it is developing, hence the need of 
a larger supply of blood. 
Do you not see what a wonderful and sacred 
thing this is, and how reverently you should 
think and talk of it? Never, by any chance, al- 
low yourself to speak of it in a light and trifling 
way, or in a suggestively wrong way; as if it were WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
211 
something connected with evil. Nothing which 
the Maker has ordained and planned is evil; and 
when it is so considered you wrong yourself and 
your Maker. 
In these days you should be out of doors a 
great deal and not have tasks that would burden 
you or be too great strain in this growing time 
if you are to come into your inheritance of 
womanhood, with all its duties and responsibil- 
ities, in full health and strength. 
When this flow of blood or menstruation has 
become fully established you will feel much bet- 
ter, as then your nervous and circulatory system 
have become in a large measure adjusted and you 
will be conscious of poise and control. 
Oftentimes when the menses appear you may 
feel languid and have backache and perhaps a 
headache; but if you are entirely healthy you 
should not be much inconvenienced or have any 
great discomfort at these times. However, you 
should always take great care that there be no 
extra exertion or excitement during the menses 
and in after years you will be healthier for this 
care. 
It is the custom of French mothers to keep 
their daughters in bed for two or three days at 
beginning of each menstrual period and thus 
make certain that they do not overtax themselves. 212 
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This may be wise, but with proper care during 
the month and right living all the time, with suf- 
ficient exercise and out-of-door life, a girl should 
be able to go through natural changes without 
serious discomfort, besides attending to her or- 
dinary duties. 
Exposure to severe cold, or wetting the feet 
at this time should be carefully avoided as care- 
lessness and severe chilling has many times re- 
sulted in a quick decline and death. It may only 
stop the flow at this period, and the next month 
it will appear again, but many times it will so 
interfere with the function that it wrill result in 
serious ill health for years. Dancing, skating, 
sleigh-riding and similiar over-exertion and ex- 
posure should, at this period of the month, be 
strictly avoided b}7 all who value good health. 
The matter of dress must also be considered, 
as this has a great deal to do with a strong body. 
Especially must one know how to dress in these 
growing years w7hen the figure is assuming its 
form and full development. If clothing is worn 
which restricts the natural growth, it will be dif- 
ficult to correct it in the later years. 
No clothing should be allowed to weight 
heavily upon the hips and abdominal organs at 
any time, but this practice is especially harmful 
in these years. Tight clothing will not let the WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
213 
chest expand as it should and will crowd the 
abdominal organs out of place. 
A corset waist, without bones, is all that is 
needed to keep the clothes in place and will give 
a good form if a girl has learned to carry herself 
well. Erect, shoulders thrown back, abdomen 
in; but none of these things exaggerated into 
deformity as they have been with wrongly dressed 
girls in the past decade. High heels should not 
be worn as they throw the body out of proper 
position and press the abdominal and pelvic con- 
tents out of their natural place. 
The uterus is not fastened so securely in place 
that carelessness may not displace it. This is 
another thing that cannot be learned too early. 
Ignorance of this has, through over-exertion, 
brought on troubles that have lasted for years 
and have made life very miserable. 
This little room, the uterus, is suspended by 
ligaments or folds of the membrane that covers 
the bowels, and it is fastened so loosely that in 
pregnancy, when the prospective mother is car- 
rying her little one, it may freely move from 
the pelvis to the abdominal cavity, as the child 
enlarges, from the tiny speck which it was at 
the beginning, to the baby which weighs six, 
seven, eight, or even ten pounds. You can easily 
see that if it were fastened immovably in place, 214 
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there would not be room enough in the pelvic 
cavity to contain it; but, as it is, it can rise in 
the abdominal cavity as it enlarges from month 
to month. 
In little girlhood, when this organ is small 
and not fully developed, it cannot be so easily 
misplaced; but at maturity or growth into 
womanhood, it is large enough to be thrown 
from its position if one is not careful. 
The jumping, climbing and romping, which 
are perfectly harmless in childhood, cannot be 
indulged in in young womanhood without fear 
of doing harm to this little room that matters 
so much to the health and happiness of a woman. 
It may mean, if it is severely misplaced, that 
she can never become a mother, or if she does 
it is with great difficulty and she may be left 
an invalid, suffering greatly at each menstrua- 
tion. 
This you need to know that you may exercise 
the right care now, and not deprive yourself of 
health or the blessing of children when you have 
a home of your own. 
Again, remember that all these questions 
should not be talked over with your girl com- 
panions, for often lightness and levity, or a much 
more serious thing, wrong thoughts, are started. 
In ignorance, many times, otherwise good girls WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
215 
talk of these things as of something to be 
ashamed of or sinful. These truths are sacred and 
should always be so considered. 
During your girlhood years your mind should 
be little occupied with thoughts of these organs, 
or their work, only enough to insure proper care 
and health. 
It is your right in these years to develop into 
as strong a woman as you possibly can, that you 
may be the intelligent helper that every woman 
should be and so aid in correcting some of the 
errors that have come through ignorance and 
wrong understanding in the past. 
Years ago mothers did not teach their chil- 
dren all that they should know, and this gener- 
ation is suffering from the ignorance. We do 
not want the next generation to be so handi- 
capped. 
If mothers and fathers had been taught in 
the past what young people are being taught 
now, there would not be so many unhappy and 
sickly children in the world today, nor as much 
sin. Keep all this knowledge as a sacred trust 
and there will be better homes, happier families, 
stronger and wiser parents, healthier children 
and a happier world to live in. CHAPTER XIX 
Knowledge That Protects 
Much as we would like to shield 
you from a knowledge of sin and 
vice in the world, yet we know that 
you cannot be fitted to avoid the 
evils about you unless you are informed con- 
cerning them. You should learn of them from 
your rightful teachers, your parents, and I am 
going to tell you everything, lest you, like so 
many other girls in our land, fall through 
ignorance from your high estate of womanhood. 
God so arranged that the attraction of the 
sexes be very pleasurable, and when it leads 
through love to marriage, yielding to this attrac- 
tion is legitimate and right. In marriage the 
Creator planned for one man to choose one 
woman out of all the world to be his wife and 
the mother of his children. He gave each a great 
love for the other to so lighten the burdens of 
married life. 
The father has to learn to give up selfish 
pleasures in order to care for those he loves, to 
217 218 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
work hard to provide for them often at the ex- 
pense of his own comfort, and to endure hard- 
ships for them that he would endure for no other 
reason. 
The woman willingly consents to become the 
mother of children, even though in child bearing 
she must suffer great pain and discomfort, and 
knows that she may be called to give her life 
for them. Then, too, she must deny herself many 
of the selfish pleasures of life, that might have 
been hers had she not chosen to be a wife and 
mother, because of the love which she has for 
the man of her choice and for the little ones of 
whom she is the mother and he the father. 
Of course, where there is the love, neither the' 
husband or the wife think that it is a life of 
sacrifice. The pleasure that they have in eacli 
other and the children more than compensates 
them for the things which they have denied 
themselves. 
What do you think a father and mother 
would value more than their love for each other 
and for their dear children, and what in all the 
world could make up for the love their children 
give them? 
And yet there are many men who are unwill- 
ing to take upon themselves the responsibilities 
of married life, and the loving care of one woman WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
219 
and the children that should come to them. Out 
of marriage they attempt to find the pleasure 
that should be theirs only in lawful wedlock. 
To pander to this wicked desire in man, many 
girls are ruined and much evil occurs in the 
world. 
Yes, there are some women who tempt men 
to be immoral, but because of false teaching 
there are many more immoral men than women. 
Man is the one who was meant to take the initi- 
ative in all these matters of sex relation, and 
woman was meant either to repel or to encourage 
his advances. 
You would think it strange to see a young 
woman calling on a young man, or inviting him 
;to accept her escort to an evening entertainment, 
would you not? This is partly the result of cus- 
tom and the larger part because man has from 
the beginning been looked upon as the leader in 
all these things. 
Some women, as well as men, have inherited 
a tendency to evil and have become immoral 
because they choose such a life. By far the 
larger number of them have been misled by pre- 
tended love and have allowed too many liberties. 
You see now why I have been so careful that 
you should deport yourself modestly when in the 
company of young men. This is why I have 220 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
taught you all about yourself and the secrets of 
creation, that you might guard your maidenly 
and motherly instincts so sacredly that you would 
never be led into wrong. 
Girls, as you know, are considered disgraced 
who are known to be allowing these liberties 
which should only be given in marriage. When 
a woman who is not married gives birth to a 
child, it tells to all the world that she has been 
led into wrong. She is called a ruined girl and 
it will be very hard for her to live it down and 
take an honorable place again in society. 
Those who have been misled through love and 
promise of marriage should have our special pity, 
and we should do all we can to help them into 
a right life. Because there is so little pity shown 
a daughter when she has made one misstep, many 
poor girls have given themselves up to lives of 
shame, thinking that they would never again be 
countenanced in good society. They have sold 
their virtue to the highest bidders. 
Yes, they are called prostitutes, because they 
have prostituted the highest function of mother- 
hood to base purposes. 
Of course it is a life of sorrow and they try 
to drown their misery in drink or by taking 
drugs, and soon seem lost to all shame. Too 
often they are condemned as having no desire WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
221 
to live better lives. Many times their very bold- 
ness may be to cover sorrow and anguish that 
they have so fallen, and because they think there 
is no one who will reach out a helping hand to 
them. The world does not deal fairly with the 
woman who has sinned when they treat the man 
to so much more of kindness and forgiveness. 
The following poem presents the attitude of the 
world. 
WHAT OF THE PRODIGAL GIRL? 
We all have a heart for the prodigal boy 
Who was caught in sin’s mad whirl, 
And we welcome him back with songs of joy; 
Rut what of the prodigal girl? 
For the prodigal boy there’s an open door, 
And a father’s bounteous fare; 
And tho he is wretched, sick and poor, 
He is sure of a welcome there. 
But what of the girl who has gone astray? 
Who has lost in the battle of sin? 
Say, do we forgive in the same sweet way, 
We’ve always forgiven him? 
Does the door stand ajar, as if to say, 
Come, enter, you need not fear? 
I’ve been open thus since you went away 
Now close to the second year. 222 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
Or do we with hand of hellish pride, 
Close and bolt the door, 
And swear, “While heaven and earth abide 
She will enter here no more?” 
Oh Christ! It seems we have never learned 
The lesson taught in the sand, 
For even yet the woman is spurned 
And stoned in a Christian land. 
Down into the slough we hurl her back, 
Then turn around with a smile, 
And welcome the boy from the sinful track, 
Tho he may have been more vile. 
This is a fair presentation of the truth as 
it exists in this day. Many so called good people 
have not learned how to deal kindly with the 
erring girl. Never condemn her, dear child, but 
always pity her. 
I told you that there were more immoral 
men than women. That is largely because of 
two things. First, the boy has not been taught 
all that strong young manhood means; nor how 
to properly respect himself in his manner of 
treating the opposite sex. And second; there 
has been for centuries a double standard of 
morals, one for men and one for women. Young 
men have been excused for lives of immorality, WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
223 
while girls and young women have been con- 
demned for the same thing. You can see that 
this is not fair. Both should be condemned or 
forgiven alike. It is not right that the woman 
should bear all the shame when too often she 
has been led into sin through her love for the 
one who has caused her fall. 
For all these reasons I have tried to teach 
you the things you should know, that you may 
be on your guard when you meet those who are 
not honorable and who seek the love of girls and 
women for base purposes. 
But girls are in some measure to blame and 
in many instances greatly so. If they are care- 
less of their deportment they must not wonder 
that men take advantage of their weakness. 
Men of honor would not, of course, but men who 
are living for the baser side of their natures, 
are willing to drag others down to their level. 
You will understand from this how careful 
girls should be of their choice of acquaintances. 
Some thoughtless girls, thinking that they want 
a good time, will make acquaintances outside 
their homes that their parents know nothing 
about. Before they know it, they are on dan- 
gerous ground, and have been led to do things 
little by little that would have been abhorrent 
to them at first. One is so easily influenced by THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
224 
the company she is in that every girl must be 
exceedingly careful of the friends she makes. 
I have known girls who, spending the night 
with their girl friends, have thoughtlessly ac- 
cepted invitations to places which their parents 
would never have allowed. In those places they 
made acquaintances that were what they thought 
attractive. Withholding the knowledge of them 
from their parents, the careless girls became so 
carried away with their new friendships that they 
believed the protestations of love and promises 
of care and protection, and all too soon they 
awakened to the fact that they had been led 
into snare from which they seldom can hope to 
escape. They are ruined girls because they put 
their trust in a stranger rather than in father 
and mother. 
No, they are not girls who are willing to 
confide in their mothers or whom their mothers 
confide in. So many parents forget that every 
step of the way their girls need their guidance 
and counsel. They become so busy about other 
things that amount to little, that they fail to be 
the companions which their children most need. 
Mothers and daughters should grow nearer to- 
gether every day of their lives, and will if they 
begin aright. Girls Need Outdoor Sports far more than Skill in Crocheting and Embroidery. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
225 
Let me say a word further concerning this 
double standard of morals. We can scarcely 
understand how this sentiment ever started. One 
often hears the expression, when speaking of 
wild boys, “He will be all right in a few years 
when he has sown his wild oats.” As if it were 
possible for a boy ever to be the same after 
giving way to his baser nature and living a life 
of shame for a time. Boys and young men 
knowing this to be the sentiment of many people 
who are called good, are led to do things that 
they should not, confident that they will be ex- 
cused for it because they are men. 
No, we have not allowed your brothers tcf 
accept these false standards of life. We have 
made it very plain to them that God’s commands 
are for men and women alike, and that there 
is no double standard in His laws. 
When a woman, who had sinned was brought 
before the Master, He said to her accusers, “Let 
him that is without sin cast the first stone,” and 
no one there dared to cast a stone at her. 
Then Christ, turning to her, said, “Where 
are those, thine accusers, hath no man con- 
demned thee?” 
She answered, “No man, Lord.” And the 
record is, “Jesus said unto her, neither do I con- 
demn thee, go, and sin no more.” Christ, know- 226 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
ing the hearts of her accusers, condemned them 
alike. He did not excuse the woman, but said, 
“go, and sin no more.” 
The Results of a Life of Sin.—Another view 
of immorality, is necessary if we are adequately 
informed. God so showed his condemnation of 
the debasing of this great procreative function, 
that he has placed fearful penalities upon it. 
There are terrible diseases which are induced by 
indulgence in immorality. These diseases are, 
more often than otherwise, incurable; and the 
saddest part of it all is, that the innocent must 
suffer with the guilty. 
Perfectly pure women may contract these 
horribly contagious diseases from their husbands. 
I am sorry to say there are many such cases. 
Little children in the family may contract them 
from the father and mother, and all their lives 
they must bear the weight of sorrow that comes 
from no fault of theirs. 
These diseases not only render unhealthy 
those who contract them but make it impossible, 
in many instances, for fathers and mothers to 
give life to the little children they may so much 
desire. They must go through life knowing it 
is impossible for them to have children of their 
very own. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
227 
Many times mothers or wives who contract 
these diseases, become so affected that they are 
obliged to have all their internal reproductive 
organs removed. This is a very serious opera- 
tion, and one which does not always result in 
health for those who must undergo it. Great 
surgeons who have a vast amount of such work 
to do, tell us that a very large per cent of the 
abdominal operations upon women are from 
these causes. 
The most serious of the diseases is syphilis. 
It poisons the entire system and is the cause of 
a great many other diseases. Nervousness, in- 
sanity, paralysis, blood ailments, skin affections 
and general ill health may come as penalties for 
the broken moral law. 
The poor girls who sell themselves, or who 
are dragged into lives of shame, soon become 
infected and in turn give the plague to all who 
seek their companionship. 
Thousands of little children are walking in 
blindness today in our land because of gonor- 
rhoea, another of these terrible scourges. Many 
come into life with blood so depraved that we 
are told one-half of them die before they are five 
years old; sixty per cent of them are defective; 
and few, if any, are perfect. They must struggle 
along through life, burdened with the sins of THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
228 
others. If you could visit the wards of our hos- 
pitals where these victims are treated, you would 
see such sights as would make you forever after 
determine to be a woman who would fight the 
sins which lead to these terrible things. You 
would see poor girls who did not know of these 
horrible results of a life of shame until too late, 
dying in the same way, literally eaten up with 
the foulness of their disease. Wives there, too, 
are paying the penalty of their husbands’ wild 
oats. In other wards you would find men in 
the same fearful conditions, many of them say- 
ing, “If I had only known all this when I was 
young I would have avoided the sin and shame 
which have brought me here. Neither father, 
mother nor any one else ever told me anything. 
Why don’t parents teach their children the things 
which they ought to know, if they want them to 
walk a safe path?” Poor boys, they are the 
victims of the sinful neglect of their parents. 
Because of the false standards of morals, 
many men are infected in their thoughtless 
youth. They sow their wild oats and in after 
years, thinking themselves cured, they choose 
pure innocent girls for their wives. Some day 
they wake up to the shame and horror of the 
knowledge that they have given (to those who 
are dear to them and whom they have promised WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
229 
to love and cherish) the fearful scourge. In 
some states it is already a law that there shall 
be no marriages allowed without a certificate 
from a physician showing that the applicants are 
free from these diseases. 
As unpleasant as it is, you need to know all 
these things that you may be doubly careful in 
your acquaintances. 
Your father and I are very sure that we 
shall be certain of the clean life of the young 
man who seeks our daughters bye-and-bye. 
Because it is so difficult to know the character 
from the manner and appearance of people with 
whom you are thrown by chance or in traveling, 
young girls need to be exceedingly careful lest 
they are drawn into traps which are set for the 
feet of the unwary. 
Many of these men and women who plot the 
downfall of girls are very pleasing in their man- 
ners and are careful not to overstep the bounds 
of propriety. The girls, ignorant of their true 
nature, are easily deceived by these wolves in 
sheep’s clothing. 
These evil doers are everywhere and thou- 
sands of girls in country and city are drawn into 
their traps yearly. There may be girls who want 
a good time and not particular where and how 
they get it; girls who are found in public places 230 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
unprotected; girls who make friends in traveling 
and accept attentions from those whom they do 
not know; girls going into a great city, and who 
are not careful to find a hotel which is safe; 
girls who think they are smart enough to care 
for themselves and will not listen to advice and 
warning; girls who are a little loud in their man- 
ner and dress; girls who think mother and father 
are too strict with them; girls who allow them- 
selves to become friendly with women who are 
comparative strangers to them; unprotected 
girls who are employed in city or country; girls 
who are in business and who are not careful; 
girls who answer advertisements in seeking em- 
ployment; girls who go to an unknown employ- 
ment bureau; in short girls everywhere who are 
not taught and are not strictly on their guard. 
In other chapters of this book you will read 
of instances of the trapping of girls in all parts 
of the world. You will be taught again how 
necessary this knowledge is and how careful you 
must be wherever you are. 
So necessary is this caution and so greatly 
are girls in need of protection that in every depot 
of our larger cities you will find matrons whose 
business it is to watch the incoming trains and 
be ready to offer assistance whether it is asked 
or not. Notices are posted in railway stations WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
231 
of many of our country towns, warning girls not 
to go to the city to work unless they have friends 
there, have a position and a good and safe 
hoarding or rooming house. 
The Travelers’ Aid Society has been organ- 
ized for this purpose and has done splendid 
service through its earnest and untiring helpers. 
Y. W. C. A. workers are as vigilant and offer 
a perfectly safe home for the girl who is travel- 
ing through their city or is employed there. It 
is only a pity that they are not large enough 
and numerous enough to have accommodations 
suited to the pocket book of every employed 
daughter in the cities of the land. 
Women’s Clubs are also interesting them- 
selves in the protection of girls and have been 
instrumental in doing great good. The work 
of understanding and unlift is still going on. 
Some day the land will be free from the abuses 
that have wrought such evil and danger. 
You may have wondered why there are now- 
a-days no public drinking cups on the trains or 
in railway stations or why there are neither 
towels or soap for general use in the toilet rooms. 
It is because of the contagiousness of these im- 
moral diseases. Physicians and social workers 
have alarmed the public and these safeguards 
to the traveling public have been demanded. 232 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
Liquid soap that can only be used by tipping 
the receptacle and letting a little drip on the 
hands is provided instead of the bars that used 
to be found in all public places. In all good 
hotels you will find on your toilet table a small 
bar of soap that has not been unwrapped in 
order that you may be certain it has been used 
by no previous guest. Also, in the best hotels 
the baths and toilets are cleansed thoroughly 
each day with a germicide. If you are not cer- 
tain that this has been done, take your bath by 
wetting the towel in the running water of your 
private room. Always protect yourself when 
traveling by providing a towel, wash cloth and 
soap. 
It is well never to sit down on a toilet without 
covering the front of the seat with paper. These 
safeguards cost little time and thought and may 
spare you a great deal of sorrow and suffering. 
As a matter of safety, if for no other reason, 
promiscuous kissing should be forbidden. A 
physician tells us of one young man who was 
very free to kiss any girl of his acquaintance 
who would allow such liberties. He gave syphilis 
to seven of the foolish girls. 
You will remember how particular I was that 
you have a room by yourself the year you were 
in boarding school. It will be the same when WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
233 
you go to college this fall. These precautions 
are necessary because you can never be sure that 
the girls who might be your room mates were 
free from these diseases. A young woman grad- 
uate, from one of our leading Christian colleges, 
roomed a year with a young lady whom she 
afterward discovered was suffering from syphilis. 
While she was mercifully spared from the con- 
tagion, still, the danger was great. 
Every father and mother should make it 
their first concern to be as sure as possible that 
the young people who are invited to their homes, 
or with whom their children associate in the 
homes of others, are free from these terrible 
diseases. The time is coming when we shall 
be publicly guarded against them. Country and 
village girls are often attracted by the lure of 
the large city and imagine that there they can 
find opportunities which are denied them in the 
country. The wages, which seem large to them, 
will be found utterly inadequate when room and 
board and all the necessary expenses of a girl 
away from home must be met. 
True sad stories are told of hundreds of 
young girls who went to the city with high hopes 
and no thought of anything but a perfectly hon- 
orable life. Though poverty, hunger for com- 
panionship and good times, and often hunger 234 
THE PABENTS’ GUIDE 
for food, they are led step by step downward. 
Before they realize it, they are lost to self respect 
and life is robbed of all its sweetness for them. 
They were innocent care-free girls in the country, 
but knowing little how to meet the temptations 
and deprivations of city life, they are drawn into 
sin. 
Herbert Kauffman pictures the life of one 
such daughter, which might be the story of thou- 
sands. He makes it appear that even satan 
himself grieves for girls like this. 
FIVE DOLLABS A WEEK 
Thus is it down in Beelzebub’s books, 
August the 17th. Isabel Brooks. 
Home in the country, folks decent but poor, 
Character excellent, morals still pure, 
Came to the city today and found work; 
Wages five dollars, department store clerk. 
Wages five dollars, to last seven days; 
Three for a miserable hall bedroom she pays, 
Two nickels daily the street car received; 
One dollar forty for eating that leaves. 
One-forty has quite a long way to reach. 
Twenty-one banquets at seven cents each. 
There: every penny of wage has been spent; 
Squandered for eating and riding and rent. 
Spendthrift: she ought to remember life’s ills; 
How in the world will she pay doctor’s bills ? WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
235 
What if she’s furloughed? There’s always a 
chance; 
Isabel ought to save up in advance. 
Hold: I’ve not mentioned her clothes, she must 
wear 
Dresses, hats, stockings, shoes, ribbons for hair. 
Where shall she get them? Suppose that we stop. 
Perhaps we would better just let the thing drop. 
You, good math’metician, may figure it out; 
It’s a matter of figures, or figure, no doubt. 
Look at this picture, it’s better I’m sure, 
Character excellent, morals still pure. 
What else is written we’ll not look to see, 
Beelzebub thinks much the same way as we. 
Why! As I live, there’s a tear in his eye, 
What in the world can make old satan cry? 
Surely the devil is feeling his age: 
Look what he’s written on Isabel’s page: 
“Virtue’s a luxury hard to afford, 
When a girl hasn’t money to pay for her board.” 
Seek no employment bureau unless you 
know it to be perfectly safe. So many of these 
places cater to the underworld and send their 
enquirers to places that are full of danger if not 
into the very jaws of moral death. 
Make no friends in city or country that some- 
one in whom you have confidence cannot recom- 
mend. Seeming friendship, especially in the 
city, often means anything but actual friendship. 236 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
Choose careful places of amusement and those | 
which recreate and will not spoil. 
Infinitely better is it for the country girl to 
remain at home, or in the community in the 
home of some friend, if she must earn her own 
living, than to risk the dangers and temptations 
of the city and share its loneliness and thankless 
work. 
“Back to the country” is a fine cry and may 
well be the slogan of every girl who has not an 
absolute call to the city. The stories of the 
heartaches and the hardships and sorrows of 
multitudes of such girls have not been written, 
but the few which have tell only a small part 
of the suffering. Believe it, girls, and do not 
subject yourselves to years of hard and toilsome 
work which too often unfits our splendid 
daughters for wifehood and motherhood. 
Wholesome work on the farm, amid the 
friends whom you have known and tested, will 
well prepare you for whatever awaits you later 
in life. Stay at home and help to make the’ 
country what some communities are becoming 
today, places where all the advantages can be 
had without the serious dangers. The country 
place may have today the telephone, the auto- 
mobile, the traveling library, the lecture course WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
237 
and the school township societies, with all God’s 
out of doors to enjoy these things in. 
To our young womanhood who are still in 
school let me say a word. There are in every 
school and college in the land those whom you 
should not make close companions because of 
their loose and careless moral lives. You cannot 
do it without imperiling you own standing. In 
high school or college do not let yourself be 
drawn into the society of those whose morals are 
in any way questionable or whose ideals are not 
the highest. You cannot afford to do this. You 
soon drift into and breathe freely the atmosphere 
of those with whom you are most closely associ 
ated. Beware of careless standards and 
tionable reputations, no matter how attractive 
the young man or woman may be, if you value 
your own standing and safety. 
There are tragedies every year in our high 
schools and colleges which wreck the lives of 
many girls. A word of warning should be suf- 
ficient to the girls who are living to make the 
very best of their lives. 
The octopus of vice reaches out its poisoned 
tentacles into schools and colleges and snares the 
careless and unwary. Today you must be on 
your guard everywhere. If you must travel 
alone to and from school, make friends with no 238 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
one. Many a wolf in sheep’s clothing gets on 
the trail of an unehaperoned girl. Accept no 
offers of help or advice except from those who 
are paid for their services and upon whom you 
can rely. You will seldom need the help of the 
train officials and in the depots the matrons and 
the Traveller’s Aid Workers, as well as the 
deaconesses, will be safe for you to confide in 
if you need a counsellor. 
It is a pity that such minute directions need 
to be given, but until we have unitedly driven 
out the glaring evils of the day and made our 
land more safe, we must hang out the danger 
signals. CHAPTER XX 
The Age or Attkaction 
These years upon which you are 
now standing may well also be called 
the age of attraction. You will not 
only be attracted to members of the 
opposite sex, but they to you, and it is perfectly 
proper and natural that you should be so at- 
tracted and attractive. This is a part of God’' 
olan for you, and you must hold this also as 
sacred trust. 
Everywhere in nature has this been in som 
way exemplified in the two sexes. Take fo 
instance the bright plumage of the birds. The 
color and fragrance are given to the flowers to 
attract the opposite sex or to attract the bees and 
insects which are often made to be the go-between 
n sex life. 
As the flowers are made beautiful by a 
gracious God, so is it your privilege to make 
yourself as beautiful as possible to be attractive 
m the highest way to others. Only never forget 
that the height of beauty is not of form and fea- 
tures alone, but of the soul and its expression. 
239 240 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
V very plain face may be made beautiful and 
ttractive by the character which writes its 
ustory in that face; or it may be made more 
"dam, as the most beautiful face may be de- 
raded, by the downward tending of the soul and 
haracter. 
You remember the illustrations of the artist 
dio chose a beautiful child to paint into his great 
picture as an angel. In after years when he 
wanted a face that expressed so much of wicked- 
ness that it would suit the face of his devil in 
he same picture, he found a young man that had 
?h a degraded face and sought him for his 
jdel. To his amazement he found that the 
vely child and the depraved young man were 
le and the same. All the loveliness of the little 
ace which had promised so much, had been oblit- 
rated by the life of sin and degredation. And 
likewise: 
“One man was given a misfit face 
By the gods that fashion the human race; 
His nose was long and his chin was square 
And his teeth went slanting most everywhere, 
And his skin was coarse and his mouth was wide 
And horses looked at that face and shied. 
But his thoughts were pure and his heart was 
clean 
And he loved the good and hated the mean. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
241 
And years went on and the soul within 
The soul of the man who hated sin 
Lit up that face till it seemed to shine 
With a beauty rare of a face divine. 
“Another was given an angel face 
By the gods that fashion the human race, 
But he chose the path with the downward grad 
And wandered far where many have strayed. 
He played the dice and he held carouse, 
He was false to his friends and false to his vows 
And his thoughts were full of the wicked delighh 
Of his heated days and sordid nights. 
And years went on and the soul within 
The soul of the man who courted sin 
Had written large on that angel face 
A record long of dark disgrace; 
And people said as he hurried past, 
‘What a fiendish face on that poor outcast.’ ” 
—Author Unknown. 
Our faces are made beautiful or the opposite 
by the thoughts we think and the deeds we do day 
by day. Each thought, each deed, is writing its 
history in our faces. How careful we should 
be that these histories tell only of struggle and 
victory, seldom of defeat. 
Do you remember the description of the face 
of John Brown’s Ailie in the story “Rab and 
His Friends”? 242 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
“She had the most unforgetable face I ever 
saw, a mouth firm, patient and tender, which few 
mouths are, a face full of suffering but fuller 
jf its overcoming.” So you see we make our 
own faces by our thoughts and actions. 
A great writer of England, Prof. Henry 
Drummond, once said, “We say we go out on 
the streets and strike hands with our friends. 
Ah, we do more than that, we strike souls with 
them.” If this be true, girls and young women 
should be very careful what their souls are if 
hey are going to give a little bit of themselves 
• everyone they meet. 
You are young yet, and you should have very 
ood friends among your boy and girl acquaint - 
nces; but you want to think of them in this 
lealthful way, as friends simply. Make them 
good comrades, and be as attractive to all of 
them as you can. Leave more than this for later 
years. Many girls spoil all their young days by 
thinking of boys as lovers long before they should 
he having any such thoughts. 
Then, too, when girls are so forward, they 
lose in large measure their attractiveness. When 
they hold themselves in reserve they are more 
admired and sought as friends. Think too much 
of yourself to be forward with boys and you will 
be more respected. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
243 
Be frank, outspoken and honest with vour 
boy friends as with your girl chums. You will 
find that you will have more enjoyment in their 
companionship than if you are thinking and 
acting in a grown-up manner. In fact, the more 
a girl can put out of her mind the thought that 
she must appear different with her boy friends 
and her girl favorites, the more will she be re- 
spected and admired. 
Avoid everything like flirting and actions 
that seem done just to attract the attention of the 
boys. Be your own sweet, natural self. The 
other days will come soon enough. You can’t 
afford to lose out of your own life these delight- 
ful times when you are free and happy with no 
thought save to get and give as much happiness 
in life as you can. 
Teachers have said: “My girls are dear, but 
they don’t seem to know that they are silly when 
they try so hard to attract the boys. They are 
attempting to be grown up too soon; and the 
boys don’t like them as well as they do those 
girls who are content to be girlish and just good 
comrades.” 
Yes, there are some boys who are silly too, 
but you don’t like them as well as you do those 
who are more sensible. Always discourage any 
such thing in your boy companions and they will 244 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
soon learn that you prefer their kindly friend- 
ship better than the foolish attempts at lover-like 
attractiveness. 
Girls usually get what they are looking for. 
If they are looking for friends they find them, 
and if they show that they are looking for those 
who will single them out from the rest and offer 
them decided preference in a foolish grown-up 
way, they will find that. Bye and bye they will 
wake up to the fact that they have lost one of 
the keenest enjoyments of their lives. They 
have become so tired at playing at love that the 
eal thing has lost all its attraction. The jolly 
friendships between boys and girls, which Miss 
Ucott pictures in her delightful stories, is what 
' mean. Nothing could be more beautiful. 
One can only admire the way a girl answered 
a note that was thrown on her desk one day 
by one of the boys of her class who had 
struck the silly age and didn’t know quite how 
to deport himself. He began it “Dear Mary,” 
and underscored the “dear” significantly. She 
read it and put her head down and laughed, and 
she knew he saw her. Then she wrote across 
it, “You silly, you aren’t half so nice as when 
you are sensible. I don’t like this and you can’t 
be my friend if you write again in this foolish 
way.” WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
245 
That was the end of it, and when he said to 
her, “Some girls like that sort of thing, but I 
like you better for not caring for it,” she had 
her reward, and was glad that she had not al- 
lowed herself to be classed with “some girls.” 
Never do anything just to make yourself no- 
ticed by the boys. When one sees girls flaunting 
their finery and bartering their smiles for over- 
attention, one is reminded of a peacock that 
spreads its tail and struts about back and forth 
just to draw attention to itself. 
Be so fine, my little girl, that people can’t 
help liking you and you will get all the attention 
that is good for you. To forget self in kindness 
and ministry to others, and in making them have 
a good time, is a splendid rule of life. 
All this is not only getting ready to be beau- 
tiful, but it is being beautiful in the most charm- 
ing way, and all your friends will recognize it 
and rate you accordingly. 
After a lecture before a company of high 
school girls was ended, an opportunity was given 
to ask questions, which they were permitted to 
WTite, thus doing away with any embarrassment 
which they might feel. A few of these questions 
and answers are given here. 
Like the large number of the daughters of 
the land, many of them had not yet awakened 246 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
to the thought that they must have a real aim 
in life to make out of it what they should. They 
were drifting along carelessly, doing the tasks 
set them with little thought of its application to 
their future lives of usefulness. In fact, to the 
real purpose of self, they had given little, if any, 
thought. 
Sometime they were going to make their 
plans and choose their life work; but now they 
wanted a good time, and the days were going 
rapidly. Some time they were going to do great 
things; but it was too early to bother about it yet. 
As well might a rose bud dance away in the 
morning of its life and say, “Never mind about 
the full blown rose, I will come back and tend to 
that bye and bye, I am so pretty now that I want 
the world to see me.” But when it comes back 
it is but a faded bud, that, try as it will, can 
never unfold into the full bloom it promised. 
These were the dear girls to whom the lecture 
was given, and they were the type of those found 
the world over. They only need to learn that 
they can have the best time when the purpose 
is high to make the most of their developing 
years. 
The first question wras, “How much should 
a high school girl go into society?” WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
247 
I answered, “Very little. School is her busi- 
ness and only so much of society as will recreate 
her for the work of these years should be allowed. 
One evening a week, and that not on a school 
day, should be sufficient, with all the restful fun 
she can pick up going to and from school. 
“What do you think of a girl standing on 
the street corner and talking with the boys of 
the school?” asked another girl. 
“Only this,” I said. “It cheapens a girl to 
do this, and makes her common. If they cannot 
finish their conversation while walking home, 
then let the young man call. Real gentlemen 
think much more of a girl who will not do this 
than of one who will.” 
I picked up another question which I recog- 
nized from the blue paper upon which it was 
written, as coming from the hand of an over 
dressed, tired looking girl who had handed it in 
with a sort of bravado that was not pleasant to 
see. This was what she had written. 
“When attended home by a young gentle- 
man from an evening out, should she allow him 
to kiss her good-night?” 
As I read the question I looked from one to 
the other of the young girls to whom I knew 
no mother had ever given counsel, and I was 
glad to see a blush on the face of the questioner. 248 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
I replied, “No girl who respects herself as she 
should will allow such liberties. She who does, 
soon becomes known in her set as one who rates 
herself at a low price, and she will be sought 
by those who take such liberties and think less 
of the one who grants them. A girl who allows 
them will soon have the keen edge of her modesty 
worn away and will be quite likely to fall into 
greater temptations because of it. Will you 
listen to one young man’s opinion of it? He was 
to leave town, and his mother had given him a 
party the night before he was to leave, inviting 
his special friends. 
When all had gone except two girls whom 
he was to accompany home, he said banteringly, 
“Are you going to kiss me good-bye at the depot 
tomorrow, Lina?” 
“Why of course, don’t I always?” she replied, 
laughingly. 
When he returned from his walk home with 
the girls, his mother asked, “Roger, why didn’t 
you ask Mary if she would kiss you good-bye?” 
“Well,” he replied hestatingly. “She isn’t 
that kind of a girl, and I really think she would 
slap me in the face if I offered to do it.” 
“Which of the two girls do you like the bet- 
ter?” pursued the mother. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
249 
“Why, Mary of course. Lina is good fun; 
well, and so is Mary, but not the same sort, and 
Mary is the one a fellow would rather tie to.” 
“Do you think engaged young people should 
allow endearments?” was the fourth question. 
“High school young people should not be 
engaged,” I answered. “This has wrecked many 
a life. If marriage follows it is quite likely to 
shorten the school days and send the young 
people out into the real work of life illy prepared 
for its duties and responsibilities. More often 
than otherwise marriage does not follow, but the 
engagement entered into so prematurefy and the 
liberties allowed may mean degradation to both. 
Sometimes silly girls fancy it may give them an 
added importance if they are known to be en- 
gaged. Too often though it is the beginning 
of a life of trifling with the affections of the other 
sex, which soon marks them as heartless flirts 
and takes away their bloom and beauty. Or 
trifling with the holy instinct, love, they come to 
think it of little consequence, and, tired of it, 
as they have experienced it, they later wreck 
their happiness by contracting a marriage for 
money, or position, which too many times has an 
ending in a divorce court.” 
“A sadder picture than this even, is offered 
by the many girls who, beginning in this thought- 250 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
less way, cheapen their highest gifts and yield- 
ing little by little, liberties are taken which no 
self-respecting girl will allow, and the way down- 
ward to the ruin of character is easy.” 
“You said every girl marked her price. What 
did you mean?” came a question impulsively 
from a bright eyed girl, who had been listening 
very attentively. 
“Think for a moment, and you will see I am 
sure,” I replied. “Her manner among her asso- 
ciates, her words, her reserve or boldness, tell to 
the world the price which she sets upon her own 
worth. Self-respect always attaches a high price 
to the individual; while weakness, boldness, and 
the ready giving of liberties, as surely mark her 
at a low price. 
“I often think of a bargain counter when I 
see a bevy of thoughtless young girls on the 
streets or in public places. 
“You have been in a large department store 
and seen, we will say, a shirt waist bargain coun- 
ter. Waists that were formerly worth four or five 
dollars are thrown promiscuously with waists 
that were never worth more than a dollar and 
a half. All these, together, marked down to a 
dollar. How can this be done? Some of them 
are soiled by handling, in others a defect of cut WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
251 
or fit is found which has not been remedied, and 
some of them, though of superior material, look 
like the cheaper ones and will not sell; so all are 
dumped down together to be picked up by the 
bargain counter purchaser. 
“Do you want to get on to the bargain 
counter of life, girls? Of course you do not. 
Then he careful of your associates, your man- 
ners, your dress, your womanly reserve.” 
“How can we know the character of the boys 
we meet daily in the school or in society?” asked 
a sober senior. 
“There are several helps to this,” I answered. 
“Watch their associates, their manner of respect 
or disrespect as shown among their companions; 
their faces or their words. Ask your brothers 
of the character of those you meet in school or 
elsewhere, and if they love you as they should, 
they will not allow your association with those 
who are not clean and pure in their moral lives. 
Make good comrades of your school friends 
whom you know to be good, but go no farther in 
your young years. Your wisdom and discern- 
ment will increase as the years go on, and when 
you come to make your choice for life it will be 
a wise one.” 
These are not all, but they are the most 252 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
important of the questions of these bright inquir- 
ing girls who were 
“Standing with reluctant feet, 
Where the brook and river meet?” 
They had not yet learned to read the signs 
along the broader streams of life. They evidently 
had had few, if any, advisers. They all wanted to 
know the right way in which to deport them- 
selves, but had had few lessons from those who 
should have been their teachers, and had followed 
the lines of least resistance, content to follow 
where others led. 
These years are of mighty importance to you, 
and your attractions to the other sex must be 
always that of a self-respecting young girl who 
is living her girlhood out in the manner which 
belongs to girlhood, not to more mature years. CHAPTER XXI 
Young Womanhood 
You have come to the years, my 
daughter, for which we have been en- 
deavoring to fit you—you are now a 
young woman. We believe that you 
understand the seriousness of life and its obli- 
gation sufficiently well to make you desire to 
take the responsible place that awaits you. That 
you will fill that place honorably and faithfully 
is our earnest wish. 
It matters little what has been done for you. 
The big thing is what you have made these ad- 
vantages inspire you to do in the working out of 
your own life. Wealth, position, power, influen- 
tial friends, native ability, heredity and environ- 
.rnent will count for nought if the soul be not set 
for the highest things. 
“One ship sails east and another west 
While the self-same breezes blow. 
It’s the set of the sail and not the gale 
Which determines where it shall go. 
253 254 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
“Like the ways of the winds are the ways of the 
fates 
As we journey on through life. 
It’s the set of the soul that decides the goal 
And not the storm and the strife.” 
This is a good watchword for any girl and 
should give her courage no matter what her hand- 
icaps. For “There’s no defeat in life save from 
within; unless you’re beaten there you are bound 
to win.” 
What I shall say to you tonight, my daugh- 
ter, will be said for all girls; for I believe all 
stand on much the same footing. The standards 
of man and God for measuring success are very 
different; we will understand bye and bye that 
many a life which we counted successful has been 
a failure, and many that the world has counted 
failures have in God’s sight reached the highest 
success. 
Begin your 5roung womanhood with no envy 
in your heart for the position or power of an- 
other. You have your own place and the one 
that God planned for you and it only remains 
for you to do your work. You will reap the full 
reward for your service to the world. 
A college education may be made a great help 
to you or it may be a hindrance. If you rely on 
that and not on your best endeavor it will cheat WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
255 
you of the place planned for you. Not all edu- 
cation is secured in the schools. Many of our 
best educated and most useful men and women 
have never been inside of a college as students. 
They have taken advantage of every opportunity 
that was theirs and have come out at the top of 
life while their college friends are away back at 
the foot of the hill. Books and magazines of the 
highest quality are easily obtainable in these days 
and an earnest young woman has need only to 
take advantage of her opportunities and she may 
come out the peer of those who have had every 
opportunity. The “set of the soul” is the deter- 
mining factor. 
Then remember also that hundreds of people 
everywhere are waiting to push you in the direc- 
tion in which you are determined to go. If the 
way of choice be upward, you will find helpers; 
if downward, then, there are pushers innumera- 
ble for every young woman. Temptations and 
difficulties await you everywhere and the armor 
which you have fitted to yourself will be your 
defense. 
In no sphere of life is a young woman of to- 
day called to greater service than in the social 
and moral world about her. What you are is 
going to determine your usefulness or your use- 
lessness, both in what you do for yourself and, 256 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
in the service which you render to the community 
in which you live. What ideals you have fixed, 
what companions you choose, what books you 
read will all have a large bearing upon your 
future accomplishments. A cheery, happy, well- 
poised young woman, with a determination to 
succeed is a mine of wealth to any community. 
If every young woman would sit down for an 
hour or more and take account of her stock of 
accomplishments; of her ability^; of her fitness or 
unfitness for this or that; of what is lacking in 
her stored up material that must be supplied in 
order to make her position among the world’s 
workers assured, there would be fewer failures in 
life. Work faithfully planned and carried out 
will bring you to the shores of greatest promise. 
These early days of your young womanhood 
are of inestimable value to you and must not be 
wasted. They are full of opportunity. Seize 
that which will most surely lead you to the desired 
goal. 
“But,” you say, “what if I do not know the 
goal I should aim for, what then?” The first goal 
is a finely developed womanhood. Putting out 
of your life all things that will offend and that 
will lessen your helpfulness, and cultivating ear- 
nestly all that will strengthen character. This 
is the foundation work for any sphere and you WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
257 
cannot be amiss, in these days of decision, in 
making the most of these helps. 
The first work for which every woman should 
fit herself is that of homemaker, which means, 
wifehood and motherhood. Every true young 
woman has this in view, and it should be given 
her first concern. In this field greater oppor- 
tunities await her than in any other. Let her 
look upon it as a profession, the greatest and 
most responsible in the world; and so prepare 
for it. 
“I know, mother, and I shall never forget 
that first counsel we had when we were not very 
big children. You and father said we were old 
enough for our first lessons on the value of a 
home and what we should be doing to fit for it. 
I remember father told us that parents sent 
their sons and daughters, who were preparing 
for any of the professions, to school and college 
for years before they felt they were fitted to take 
their places; but for the greatest profession, that 
of home making and becoming the fathers and 
mothers of children, people seemed to think that 
little preparation was needed. 
“He said a college course and four years of 
the study of law was considered a necessity to fit 
a young man to settle people’s difficulties, that 
a long preparation was needed for the physician 258 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
and as many years for the ministry; while no 
real time nor thought was given to preparation 
for the homemaker, a profession which compre- 
hended all the others. And then he showed us 
how a father and mother had to be at times 
lawyers, judges, ministers, physicians, nurses, as 
well as character makers. He made us under- 
stand the need of preparation for the work. I do 
not believe we could ever forget it in our getting 
ready for our life work. I know I have thought 
of it all the way along.” 
“Yes, dear; we have tried in these family 
counsels to make you acquainted with all the 
things which we felt were most important to your 
happiness and your usefulness; it makes us very 
happy to think that you have profited by them. 
I am sure we would not any of us be willing to 
lose the memory of the good times we have had 
together.” 
Then the time is sure to come in every young 
woman’s life when she is brought face to face 
with the deep and far reaching concerns of the 
day. They reach out and touch her, bring her 
squarely up against the problems in the uplift, 
improvement, happiness, and reform of the 
world. 
For this you and all girls will need great wis- 
dom, as the calls from all directions become in- WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
259 
sistent. The ability to discriminate between that 
which is best, for you and for the world, and that 
which is harmful, will call for all the knowledge 
and common sense you can gather. 
Society will be waiting with open arms for 
you, and by all the powers which intoxicate, seek 
to lure you to itself. You owe to society the best 
you can give. By society I do not mean the friv- 
olous coming and going which spends itself in 
admiration, flattery, self-seeking, rivalry, dis- 
play, dissipation, and many times questionable 
compromise. I have reference to society in its 
highest sense, the social body that needs the 
thought and helpfulness of the finest women of 
the land. Young women need to be very thought- 
ful and careful if they give and get the very best 
from their social life. 
Graduated from our schools and colleges and 
going out from the larger and more exciting 
schools of life yearly are large classes of young 
women to whom we have a right to look for the 
accomplishment of some of the important tasks 
which are waiting to be done. What have they 
been preparing for if not for this? Into country 
and village and city are going these splendid 
girls and each is there to exert a mighty influence 
for good or ill. In every situation the young- 
lady should be master of herself and have 260 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
strength to spare for others. A knowledge and 
control of self is indispensable, and every wise 
girl will accomplish this. 
There are two great questions in this prep- 
aration which demand answers. First, “What 
is the purpose of my being and what the adapta- 
bility of each part of my organism to the ac- 
complishment of the work of life?” Second, 
“How is my being related to the generations be- 
fore me and to those which shall come after?” 
The first question may well be likened to 
that which the engineer must answer as he gets 
the knowledge of every part of the monster ma- 
chine, its relation to every other part and to the 
whole, and of the adaptability of these parts of 
the work which it has in hand. Unless he is well 
skilled in all this knowledge, and knows best how 
to care for each part; unless he knows how to 
obviate the difficulties which the great machine 
must necessarily encounter, he will not be a 
skilled workman, and need never apply for the 
highest places in his profession. 
No mechanism in all the world can compare 
with the marvelous workmanship of the human 
body and none should be so thoroughly under- 
stood, if it is to accomplish its destined work. 
Again our young women are the hope of the 
nation, of the world, in the reform of many WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
261 
abuses. In them lies the transformation of life 
until it shall accomplish the best in its power 
to give. It is given for such as you, my daughter, 
to so interpret life in your definite knowledge of 
self and its possibilities, that you may point those 
who are handicapped and have been denied the 
best opportunities for development, to the higher 
way. This can only come when you shall insist 
upon the knowledge of all that will make your 
own life most perfect, most useful. 
Second: Knowing the great part you are to 
play, in the making of the next generation, you 
must prepare to be the strongest physically, men- 
tally and morally you can possibly become. 
Every young woman should know how to keep 
her physical nature healthy and how to avoid all 
that will weaken her. In other words she must 
become well acquainted with the laws which gov- 
ern health and that guard against disease. Well 
regulated habits, which will admit of no ex- 
cesses, of any kind, either in diet, dress, work or 
pleasure, is the first law to be established. Had 
we but ourselves to consider in our plans for life, 
it would matter much less. We must however 
plan and live for all those who shall come after us 
and call us ancestors if we are to do our part 
in the great human family to which we are ir- 
revocably linked. 262 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
As your lives are the gift of those who have 
lived before you so will the lives of the next gen- 
eration be your gift, and you can individually put 
into your gifts only what you have wrought into 
your own lives. Thinking of this, development 
becomes a great responsibility and should make 
every young woman cultivate only those things 
which make for strength, and beauty, and happi- 
ness, that she may be able to give of these to 
others. 
Can you not see how all this painstaking 
preparation in your own life will have great in- 
fluence upon those with whom you mingle in so- 
ciety and in the home? Every young woman is 
a teacher and is setting lessons daily for some 
other to learn. It is a great thing to make these 
lessons fine, and stamp yourself as a teacher 
worth while. We need just such girls to make 
the moral way so attractive that it will draw 
others away from the path which leads down- 
wards. 
Your moral standards will soon be under- 
stood in the community and your mates will know 
well where to count on you. Each girl marks 
her own position and price; and both will be 
known to your associates. You will be counted 
as workers or as butterflies, as safe beacons or as 
will-’o-the-wisps, and the world is a wise judge. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
263 
In the free and easy life of the country there 
is danger of becoming too familiar as young peo- 
ple, and girls need to set a high standard here. 
You can make the society in which you move as 
choice and as free from all that hurts as you will. 
Allow no familiarities that lessen your womanly 
standing and that detract from your highest 
worth and charm. Let nothing take from your 
true standard of modesty and virtue. 
Another work, which means very much for 
moral uplook, awaits the young women of the 
day, and that is the fight and insistence for a 
higher standard of morals among young men. 
When girls refuse their friendship to all young 
men who have not as high a moral standard as 
they themselves, then, and only then, will immo- 
rality in the awful proportions in which it exists 
today be done away with. So long as our young 
men can hold their place in good society and be 
living immoral lives just so long will the morals 
of our daughters be threatened. The great rem- 
edy is for our young women to be not only single 
standard women in their own lives but as well in 
the choice of their friends and husbands, and the 
evil will be stayed. 
There is one word more and this is a very im- 
portant one. Make your dress all that is modest 
and womanly. Leave out the foolish fashions 264 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
that compromise your standing as women of good 
influence. Keep so far away from a questionable 
fashion that you may not have its stigma fast- 
ened upon you or through it be the means of in- 
fluencing either other young women or the young 
men of your acquaintance for harm. 
A woman has in her dress a mighty, potent 
power, for charm and helpfulness or for tempta- 
tion and downward tending. Ask yourselves 
when a new garment is to be chosen whether it 
will be for good or for evil in your own life or in 
your influence upon others. 
The dress of women today is answerable for 
more vice and downward tending than we can 
well measure. Be among the best, for you can 
afford to be nowhere else. 
So long as dress is customary, let dress, not 
undress, be your inviolable rule; and let your 
revealed charms be those which elevate and en- 
noble not degrade and make vicious. CHAPTER XXII 
Sex Hygiene in the Schools 
There has been much discussion 
on the subject of sex hygiene in the 
schools on account of the lamentable 
results that have come from ignorance, 
and the laxity of parents in teaching their chil- 
dren. 
The Beginning.—In our higher schools of 
learning a beginning has been made in the teach- 
ing of biology and sociology, and very frank 
and free statements and discussions have been 
encouraged even in mixed classes; while in many 
high schools special teachers, among them doc- 
tors, have been called in to give sex hygiene talks 
to segregated classes of students. 
In the Chicago Public Schools the attempt 
was made, but, in spite of its wonderful success 
it was soon discontinued. Whether prudery or 
politics had most to do with the suspension of the 
effort it is difficult to tell. It is safe to say that 
so wise a woman as Ella Flagg Young would 
hardly have given her sanction to a thing which 
265 266 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
was not desirable and necessary to the welfare of 
Chicago. 
Our Normal Schools are putting in courses 
of instruction for their students that will fit them 
in turn to be teachers in the schools over which 
they will preside. Many of the leading educa- 
tors of the land have pronounced themselves in 
favor of the innovation in the public schools. Yet 
there are arguments against it and they demand 
careful consideration. 
The Difficulties.—1. It is not many years 
since the common public was so sensitive when 
the subject was broached that it was difficult to 
get a church for a speaker along social purity 
lines. How can we expect then to educate the 
great public in a decade to the wisdom of includ- 
ing the subject in the curriculum of the schools 
generally? 
2. That it is greatly needed in the education 
of children is admitted by all. Still it is generally 
affirmed that mothers are the teachers who should 
give the information to their children, not the 
public school teachers. 
3. That well prepared mothers are the best 
teachers is unquestioned, but these are in the 
minority, and what of the large majority of stu- 
dents whose mothers are totally unfit for or in- 
different to such teaching? How are these chil- WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
267 
dren to be reached by the proper person with the 
proper knowledge? 
4. Yet the real fact of the matter is, the 
teaching of sex hygiene cannot be wisely put into 
the public schools until we have a trained com- 
pany of teachers who shall be able to present it 
in a manner which will excite reverent thought, 
without prurient curiosity or suggestive talk. 
That we have not the teachers now is acknowl- 
edged. The only method that can be used, until 
such teachers are trained, is to call in specialists 
for segregated classes of boys and girls, as was 
done in Chicago. 
5. Here another difficulty confronts educa- 
tors. There are not a sufficient number of well 
prepared specialists for such work and will not 
be, until they are demanded. Then, as in every- 
thing else, the demand will call for and be met 
by the supply. 
Sex Hygiene in the Colleges is an excellent 
thing and greatly to be encouraged although it 
may seem like “locking the barn after the horse 
is stolen.” On the other hand the next genera- 
tion of mothers and fathers is being trained in 
the colleges, or at least as many of them as are 
privileged to go to college. Still we have to 
reckon with the larger majority of girls and 
boys who never see the inside of a college. High 268 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
schools must soon have the training, if we are to 
effect large things in the training of the next gen- 
eration of fathers and mothers. 
The Adviser.—In one of our middle west 
cities a woman has been appointed by the school 
board as Adviser to the girl students.” The news- 
paper report defined her duties by saying “she 
would counsel with the girls in the matter of 
dress, the kind of company to keep, the sort of 
entertainments to attend and how much powder 
is good for the face.” We are certain however 
that the principal who recommended the appoint- 
ment had a larger vision than this, as important 
as the topics named are. 
The Sentiment Grows.—Similar appoint- 
ments have been made and tried out in some of 
the Eastern high schools and in other parts of the 
country and the sentiment for it is growing. This 
is but a stepping stone to the further work, and 
the wise “Adviser” will hardly stop with the sub- 
ject named by the reporter. She will go on to 
more intimate and far reaching things. 
In one of the coast cities such a teacher was 
appointed to two of the girls’ high schools. She 
was a lady physician, and well prepared for her 
fine work as was evidenced by an item of great 
interest reported concerning her. A young girl, 
who had become nearly unmanagable in the room “War Gardens.” WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
269 
to which she belonged was sent to the doctor- 
adviser. The teacher’s fear was that she was al- 
ready perilously near the brink of immorality if 
she had not really gone over. 
The doctor adviser sat down familiarly with 
the girl and talked with her as a mother should 
have long since done. She talked of what it meant 
to be a woman with all a woman’s wonderful 
powers and opportunities, of the wisdom which 
a young girl should have in the choice of her com- 
panions, of her language, and her thoughts, of 
the dangers of carelessness, of the ease with which 
a girl can lose her good name. She then talked of 
her approaching womanhood, and of the sacred- 
ness of every function connected with it, of the 
fine woman she would make if she did not spoil 
her girlhood by carelessness and lack of modesty. 
All this and much more she said to the hungry 
girl, hungry for the right knowledge that no one 
had ever given her. She felt the motherliness 
and the interest of the good doctor and looked 
into her face while tears stood in her own eyes 
and said: 
“Doctor, do you suppose my mother knows 
all these things?” 
The doctor was too wise to say, “Of course 
she does,” but did say, “Suppose you go home 
tonight and ask her.” 270 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
The next morning the girl hurried to the door 
of the doctor’s room in the school building, and 
without preface, said excitedly, “Why, doctor, 
I did ask mother and she knew all about it, she 
just didn’t know how to tell me. You have given 
us a new language.” 
There was something wonderful in the girl’s 
recognition of her ignorance. All teachers and 
mothers must learn this “new language” if they 
are to teach in a way that will help. This illus- 
tration simply proves how much such teachers can 
do in any school and how necessary they are. It 
is a fine entering wedge and when boys have a 
similiar teacher the way will be well open for the 
frank, free, familiar talks on all the questions 
which sex hygiene involves. 
In the Lower Grades it will be years before 
this subject can he handled effectively in groups. 
With individuals, however, the teacher can with 
care reach all her children and thus implant a 
reverent understanding of these questions. There 
is nothing to forbid the installing of such teachers 
in all our schools and after a few familiar talks 
with the individual pupils who most need it and 
who have learned wrongly the secrets of life, 
many plain lessons can be given to the entire 
class of girls or of boys. When a stronger public 
sentiment is built up through the press and lec- WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
271 
ture platform and when parents begin to see the 
necessity of teaching young and growing chil- 
dren concerning themselves, then, the introduc- 
tion of the subject into the schools will not be so 
difficult a matter. 
In Preparation for this time there must be 
proper text-books fitted to teach this subject with 
all the freedom and naturalness that any other 
subject is taught. Teachers must get into the 
same attitude of interest shown in other subjects 
and an appreciation of the desperate need of such 
instruction. Until this time comes the work must 
be done by books and no one can do better pio- 
neer work than to aid in getting them into as 
many homes as possible. 
The Mothers' Club.— No better books can 
be found for the consideration and study in Par- 
ent-Teacher organizations than those dealing 
with these .questions. Every town and country 
community should have and has, if she is hunted 
for, some woman who will take the lead in form- 
ing a mothers’ club where such subjects can be 
considered and discussed. Not only will every 
community so awakened be an aid to the young 
people at home but it will assist greatly in bring- 
ing on the great day when children shall not be 
sent out into the world to battle unprepared and 
ignorant of danger. Every such community wide 272 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
awake to the needs of humanity is adding to the 
awakening of the Nation at large and there is 
surely no greater or more imperative work wait- 
ing to be done. 
Know Thyself.—Any effort made by indi- 
viduals and by bodies of people to educate public 
sentiment along these lines is helping to usher in 
the good time when all children shall be taught 
and when over every educational building shall be 
placed the command, “Know Thyself.” The great 
organizations of women that are working for civic 
betterment and race improvement have done 
much to rouse public sentiment and few mothers 
are justified in staying out of these organizations 
where their help is so much needed. 
Truth.—Since the early days of Frances 
Willard’s work in the great organization to which 
she gave her life, the truthful teaching of children 
concerning themselves has been advocated as one 
of its most important teachings. Many lecturers 
are in the field continually to emphasize this need. 
Woman’s Clubs, Y. M. C. A., W. C. T. U., and 
Y. W. C. A. bodies are pushing the good work. 
Parent-Teacher clubs are gathering mothers to- 
gether for such instruction. All these have ac- 
complished great good. It needs but a stronger 
effort on the part of the great body of parents WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
273 
and educators to accomplish what is so much 
needed. 
Teachers are among the most earnest in de- 
manding that something be done. No subjects 
are more eargerly listened to in their institutes 
than those which advocate a larger moral train- 
ing for their pupils. They know of the conta- 
gion of immorality in the schools, and they are 
eager to learn what can be done to most effec- 
tually safeguard the children. 
The Time Will Gome.—It is generally con- 
ceded that education is the largest factor in this 
safeguarding. When teachers are trained and 
prudishness done away with; when public morals 
are elevated; when vice is not condoned, when 
there is one standard of living for man and wom- 
an alike, in other words, when we want Sex 
Hygiene in the schools, we shall have it. 
So able an educator as Charles W. Eliot, 
President of Harvard College, in a letter written 
as long ago as September, 1910, to Arthur Bur- 
rage Farwell of the Illinois Vigilance Associa- 
tion advocates the teaching of sex hygiene in the 
public schools as the great remedy for immo- 
rality. 
This is a part of his letter: 
“Another subject which ought to be publicly 
discussed among teachers and parents is the ad- 274 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
dition to our school programs of instruction in 
normal reproduction in plants and animals, sex- 
ual hygeine in the human species, and the horrors 
of sexual vice.” 
John D. Rockefeller, Jr., in a letter to the 
same gentleman says, “Personally I feel very 
strongly that such instruction should be given in 
the public schools and also in other schools and 
colleges. At the same time I recognize that it 
is a most difficult subject to present and that very 
few public teachers would be capable of present- 
ing it in a wise and proper way. Until special 
courses have been prepared and teachers gener- 
ally become educated on this subject it would 
probably need to be presented by a few selected 
teachers who would make that their specialty.” 
These two letters voice in substance the senti- 
ment of education at large. Preparation for the 
work is the requisite. CHAPTER XXIII 
Pleasures That Recreate 
The problem of recrea- 
tion and amusement for the 
young, is one upon which 
parents and teachers may 
well spend much time and 
thought. There is more of 
educational power, upward 
or downward, in the pleasures of the children 
than we can well measure. 
If we allow them to come to years of choosing 
before interposing our “don’t and do” we are not 
going to accomplish much. Let us all through 
the growing years instill their young minds with 
the principles which govern the making of char- 
acter. That will enable them to discern for them- 
selves those pleasures which will help, and to re- 
fuse to enter into those which will degrade. Make 
thinking little men and women of our boys and 
girls. Put about them the right environment, 
companionship, and books, and they will not dis- 
appoint us in their choices. 
275 THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
276 
It is a Great Thing to be so wise in our guid- 
ing that we do not repel and drive them to the 
thing from which we are attempting to lead them 
away. Standards are fixed early in life; and the 
example and precepts of wise and loving parents 
are mighty compelling powers in the lives of our 
children. 
The Growing Child must have pleasures, if 
he develops property. The problem is not entirety 
solved if we stop with the developing children; 
for our grown up children need proper amuse- 
ments as well. Pleasure, innocent pleasure, is 
their safety valve, and insures a wholesome bal- 
ancing of the powers which make a strong life. 
This pleasure however should always be a means 
to an end, not the end of their existence. 
Home Life.—The true object of pleasure is 
recreation, which means a making over, or recre- 
ating. All recreative and innocent amusements, 
therefore, should be encouraged. The quiet pleas- 
ures of home life perpare the hoy and girl for the 
activities of the playground and society. Good 
books are well chosen companions for the home 
evenings. Above all else the companionship of 
father and mother is essential. Ideals presented 
attractively in the home will be adopted by the 
growing child and will surety steer him from the 
rocks upon which so many have wrecked their WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
277 
lives. It must never be forgotten that the little 
ones see through the eyes of the parents. It re- 
mains for the parents to paint the pictures so at- 
tractively that the children can see nothing else 
so desirable. 
The Demand for Playgrounds.—Educators 
have awakened to the need of well equipped play- 
grounds for school athletics. Here children may 
work off that excess vitality which, if undirected, 
would he spent in mischief. 
An incident in Judge Lindsay’s life well il- 
lustrates this. A little waif was brought into the 
court room one day by a policeman who had cul- 
tivated eyes to see the mischievous only. He ad- 
vised the judge to mete out a punishment suited 
to the misdemeanors of the “little culprit” as he 
called him. 
The judge enquired into the causes for com- 
plaint and found the child had been guilty of 
stealing cull boards from a near by lumber yard 
and empty boxes from the rear of a grocery store 
in the neighborhood. He excused the policeman 
and sat down in front of the boy for a more inti- 
mate version of the delinquencies and the causes 
which led up to them. Something was said which 
led the judge to go home with the little waif to 
study his surroundings and if possible to get 
nearer the heart of the situation. He found, as 278 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
he expected, the most barren and pitiable envi- 
ronment and at once was able to interpret the 
heart of the boy. 
In the miserably cramped space back of the 
wretched cabin he found the child had cleared 
away the rubbish as well as he could and with the 
stolen things had built a railroad and equipped 
it with running stock. He commended the boy 
for his wonderful ability and then, when the soil 
had been prepared, planted the seeds of truth 
while he condemned the wrong he had done and 
pointed out what such thefts would lead to if he 
continued them. 
In his recital of the story of what he had 
found he exclaimed, “Punish that boy? Hardly. 
Why he is a genius. He had a miniature rail- 
road which would do credit to a boy much older 
than he. It had furnished the vent for his pent 
up energy which only needed directing, to make 
a useful man of him.” Then the judge facetiously 
remarked, “it is hardly the first railroad ever 
stolen.” 
Study Your Children.—What we must have 
is parents who will take as much pains to study 
their children and their needs as do the judges 
of juvenile courts. Then we shall have a new 
day for the children and a higher vision of the 
value of well chosen amusements in their educa- 
tion. WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
279 
The Home-Made Gym.—If not able to 
equip a gymnasium for your boys and girls where 
you can exercise with them at least furnish them 
with sufficient means to equip one for them- 
selves. Home-made things are often quite as 
effectual. Dumb bells, punching bags and hori- 
zontal bars will be accepted by the boys as the 
finest adornment for their rooms if you have no 
other room for them. Fathers can do nothing 
more helpful than to enjoy these sports with 
their children, for there is not only the emula- 
tion of their superior skill furnished, but as well 
the stimulation to greater activity which will 
make it possible for them to excel farther. 
Games.—All sorts of games that instruct 
and do not lead to the objectionable things out- 
side the home, should be furnished. These are 
useful in proportion to the thought and skill de- 
manded in their play. When mother and father 
enter heartily into these sports with them many a 
life lesson can be inculcated naturally that will 
fit itself into the heart of the child forever. Noth- 
ing so endears the children to the home as these 
delightful evenings, or so surely keeps them from 
objectionable places. 
Lay the Foundation for Moral Charac- 
ter.—Remember that we are not only educating 
the youth in proper recreation but are as well THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
280 
building the foundation to moral character. A 
little incident in the life of a friend came to my 
knowledge not long since: There was a large 
family of well cared for children in the home of 
a country minister, who had recently moved to a 
more pretentious parish in a good sized village. 
The parents felt that their paramount work in 
life was training well the children, given into their 
keeping, and were sure that inasmuch as they did 
that well would the affairs of their parish be 
safely administered. 
One of the older boys of the family, going 
down the street on some errand one evening, no- 
ticed a young boy of his own age whom he had 
met a day or two before, just turning to go into 
a brightly lighted saloon. He stepped up to him 
and said, “I wouldn’t go in there if I were you.” 
“Yes, you would too, if you had no better place 
to go. I have only a poor miserable room in a 
cheap boarding house to go to. There isn’t enough 
light to read anything, provided I had anything 
to read, nor anybody to care what I do.” 
“Come home with me,” said the home boy. 
“I can’t offer you much but it is a lot better than 
this.” 
The parents, as usual, spent the evening with 
their family doing all they could to make their 
guest enjoy the evening. There were games, a WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
281 
story, some light refreshments, not more than 
apples or pop-corn, some kindly words from the 
wise father, the kindly sympathy of the mother 
who pitied the homeless boy, and the evening was 
over. As the son accompanied his guest to the 
door, the homeless boy who had been given “a 
little bit of heaven” lifted wet eyes to his friend’s 
face and said, “I don’t wonder you don’t want to 
go anywhere but home in the evenings; I would- 
n’t either if I had a home like that.” 
Surely any home could furnish as much as 
this if the heart and interest were given to it. It 
doesn’t take wealth or a college education to 
make a real home. 
Basket Ball, Croquet and Tennis can be 
easily installed at small expense. These will be 
considered a part of the home of the children and 
help to hold them to if, especially if father and 
mother join in the games as well. In a city you 
can take advantage of the Y. M. C. A. and 
Y. W. C. A. for your children, but not to the ex- 
clusion of the home equipment. This later is 
the more valuable of the two. Do not complain 
of the added expense incident to the necessary 
fitting for the school sports. Count it as capital 
well invested in the preparation of your child for 
life and its activities. 282 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
Boy Scouts and Gamp Fire Girls.—En- 
courage your boy to join the Boy Scouts and 
your girl the Camp Fire Girls. The wonder- 
fully helpful lessons taught in the declaration of 
principles and in the precepts of the well chosen 
leaders are invaluable to the growing minds and 
bodies. Purity of life, kindliness, charity, help- 
fulness, clean speech and thought, emulation of 
good, unselfishness, true manliness and womanli- 
ness are all demanded as necessary qualifications 
for membership. All these traits must be thor- 
oughly cultivated. The long hikes give health 
and vigor to both boy and girl as well as an ac- 
quaintance with “God’s out of doors” which are 
priceless assets in the lives of our children. 
Encourage Athletics in your older grown 
boys and girls in their advanced school life. 
Remember it is not what your child is going to do 
with athletics but what athletics will do for your 
child. This feature of sports is often misunder- 
stood. So much has been made of sports in many 
schools that there has seemed danger of over- 
shadowing the graver work of education. The 
fact of the matter is that the value of games and 
feats of strength and endurance have not been 
truly estimated in the making of your girl and 
hoy. It is quite true that coaches do not always 
have the right vision of the part athletics should WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
283 
play in the larger school of life. Too often, “to 
win at any cost” is the thought paramount, and 
this is not a thoughtful or helpful attitude of 
mind. 
Father’s Letters.—An earnest letter from 
father to the teacher whom his boy most often 
quotes, a letter expressing his thanks for his in- 
terest in his son, will give the father an oppor- 
tunity to say the word needed to correct any in- 
fluence which may have been overlooked in the 
training of the boy. Too often the father leaves 
all the letter writing to the mother, and mother 
cannot reach the heart of coaches so surely as 
father can. And what a fund of strength can be 
put in father’s letters to the sons. A real father 
does not forget the exhilaration and the tonic of 
the sports of his younger days. If he knows 
nothing of the modern games it is high time that 
he learned something. To find a father side by 
side with his son at a clean game, learning the 
yells and helping to give them, creates a bond of 
sympathy between father and son and paves the 
way for any talk needed. 
The Value of Encouragement.—Do you re- 
member the story of the little fellow who had al- 
ways won in the foot races of his primary school 
where a lot of little chaps weekly practiced for 
the wonderful things they were going to do later? 284 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
On one such day his companions began to cheer 
the other fellow who held a close second to the 
“many times winner.” In their interest in watch- 
ing him they forgot their allegiance to their 
champion. The result was that the long time 
star lost, and when asked how he came to do it, 
he said with the tears of his first defeat on his 
flushed face, “Why! not one of you yelled ‘go it, 
Jimmie’; all I could hear was ‘go it, Tom’, and of 
course he beat.” 
Many a boy who never hears from father and 
mother the sympathetic encouraging word when 
participating in the game at school can repeat 
the words of the little philosopher when he fails 
not only in school, but as well in life. 
Could such a letter as this fail to do good? 
“My son, I am proud, of your prowess on the 
diamond and football field. I know you will not 
let this take the first place, and I see you are not 
doing it. I am more proud of your standing in 
your classes. Get out of your games all you can 
of strength, and pluck, and right dealing with 
your fellow mates, for you will need them in the 
game of life.” 
Mothers, go with your boys to the stirring 
football or base ball game where your son is one 
of the players. Carry a flag, or even a good big 
handkerchief to wave wildly when he makes a WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
285 
good play and you catch his eye turned to you 
for cheer and appreciation. All the while your 
heart may be thumping with fear lest he be hurt 
in the wild scrimmage or in his efforts to make 
good time for the base. Never mind? “Mother 
is game” fills the son with pride; and he will look 
for and get just this comfort in all his battles in 
life. 
The Daughter Needs Encouraging and 
guiding as well. This from mother, “Dear, I 
was proud that you won so splendidly in your 
basket ball or tennis, and know while you did it 
you never forgot that you were a lady and that 
this fact can be taught as well in your athletics as 
in the drawing room. It costs as much courage 
and bravery to appear well in success as in defeat. 
They both impose upon our best selves unless we 
take them rightly. 
“If you can meet with triumph and disaster 
And treat those two imposters just the same” 
is after all a pretty good test of character, daugh- 
ter. I can trust you never to forget.” And 
father’s long letter not sent with mother’s but 
his own weekly missive containing the words. 
“Good for you, dumpling, I knew it was in you. 
Go in for all the athletics you can get time for 286 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
and let them put into your life what they alone 
can, when rightly estimated. Let the other girl 
win once in a while and come out of it yourself 
flushed with a better victory, in defeat. Dad is 
proud of you, dear, and is very sure his pal won’t 
disgrace him in games anywhere else.” 
“Dear daddy, how he understands; and won’t 
I do my best not to disappoint him?” is the 
daughter’s heartfelt expression, and that letter is 
read to her roommate with pride. 
Intelligent sympathy and co-operation of 
parents with teachers will soon correct all the 
possible evils from athletics as well as many other 
phases of school life. It will lift the boys and 
girls to a higher place. 
Your Training Will Tell.— Still more puz- 
zling is that question of suitable pleasure for 
young men and women when they have reached 
society age. Carefully trained hoys and girls will 
not make men and women concerning whom we 
will need to worry greatly. Let us never, never 
forget, though, that a parent’s influence must 
never flag until God closes the eyes for the last 
time. The wise counsels will be so a part of the 
boy and girl that they will he doubly potent for 
good. 
Ever keep before the young man or woman 
the real object of pleasure and the right estimate WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
287 
of the varied amusements offered them in society 
and the influence which such amusements have 
upon the world. Thus their power of making 
wise choices will grow through the years. 
The Better Way.—It is not often necessary 
nor best to forbid this or that. Discuss wisely 
and painstakingly the possible influence upon life 
and character. At the same time offer a better 
substitute. It may require some sad experience 
in the life of the individual or of a dear friend to 
accentuate the lessons taught in the home. We 
can confidently look for success though in this as 
well as in all other lines of the complex training 
of our children if our hearts are set for the task 
and if, too, we are willing to spare no pains to ac- 
complish the making of men and women of the 
highest type out of the boys and girls given into 
our care. CHAPTER XXIV 
A POSTLUDE FOR PARENTS 
The world is full of people, 
indifferent to everything save the 
things which pertain to self-in- 
terest or what they consider self- 
interest. The saddest of all in- 
different people are parents 
whose eyes and ears are not open 
to the needs of their children. There are thou- 
sands of such parents, yes millions of them. They 
fail to understand that evils which are world wide 
will touch their homes, may reach their dear ones. 
Their duty to the general public is neglected. 
“Our children are part of the world: do you hear? 
They are part of the world, we must hold them 
all dear, 
Save all for our child’s sake.” 
This is where we must stand today and there 
must be a united front if our children are safe. 
To bring it home to the hearts of all let me ask a 
few questions by citing some pertinent cases, like 
those which are happening daily. 
289 290 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
Is it your daughter who has not had the right 
perspective of life given her and who is magnify- 
ing non-essentials out of all proportion? Who 
thinks dress, like that of the foolish women of 
the world, is the one thing to be desired; and be- 
cause father cannot provide for her what seems 
so essential she insists upon leaving home for the 
shop, or store, or business house, with all their 
temptations? Has there been in your home that 
which would foster such a spirit, or a teaching 
which would make her see the better things near 
her? Has she lost heart for school and is she un- 
willing to spend more time in preparing herself 
for the serious duties of life? Instead is she al- 
lowed to go out into the world illy fitted for serv- 
ice in any capacity? Then depend upon it some 
part of her proper teaching and inspiration, 
which home alone can give, has been neglected, 
and it is the fault of the parents alone. 
She was a bright pretty child who stood be- 
hind the counter day after day measuring off 
ribbons which she could not afford to buy but 
which she coveted. She had left her home in the 
country to earn more for herself that she might 
have what the dear hard-working father could 
not give her. She had good wholesome clothes 
and could have gone longer to school and might 
have found employment in the home community WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
291 
with one of the neighbors. A friend of her moth- 
er wanted her to help when she learned she was 
going to find work, but the child thought the city 
would be better and she could get “five dollars a 
week” there. 
A finely dressed woman attracted by the fresh 
beauty of the child frequented her counter buying 
trifles daily and by her pleasing manner and flat- 
tery soon won the confidence of the girl. 
“Why don’t you wear any of these pretty 
things, dear?” she asked one day. 
“Because I can’t afford to, but would like to 
if I could,” said the innocent girl. 
“Let me give you one or two of them, this 
would give me pleasure as I have no daughter of 
my own,” and the gift was made with what 
seemed sincere good will, and was so taken by 
the innocent girl. There followed invitations for 
lunch. Then an invitation to her home where she 
was introduced to several “ladies and gentlemen” 
whom the woman said were boarders. The even- 
ing was so pleasant that she did not hesitate to go 
again and she considered herself very fortunate 
to be so singled out. 
An older girl at the next counter warned her 
that she should not be so familiar, adding: “If 
you lived in the city you would learn not to trust 292 
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everyone who made friends with you, and you 
had better take care.” 
The girl was indignant that anything should 
be said about her good friend and would not 
listen. She had never known treachery in her 
country life and could not believe the woman 
false. There came a morning when the girl did 
not return to work and for a week she was not 
seen, then nothing more was heard of her for 
months, until a newspaper reported the raiding 
of a notorious resort and of finding a young coun- 
try girl who had been kept a prisoner there for 
weeks. The “young country girl” was the in- 
nocent child whose greatest fault was love of 
dress and ignorance of the better things of life. 
Was she your child or your neighbor’s? 
Was it your boy who slipped out of the house 
evening after evening to spend his time in the 
pool halls among companions who could teach 
him no good, leading him farther and farther 
away from the truth? Through the unclean talk 
all about him, was his mind poisoned until evil 
became attractive and good ignored? Did you 
try to find where he spent his evenings, father? 
Did you make a great effort to put in your own 
time in finding something more attractive? Did 
you make him your friend and comrade counting 
this the best work of your life, or did you let him WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
293 
go with nothing but scoldings and punishment 
for what he had fallen into from lack of your care 
and interest? Rightly considered your boy was 
worth more to you than all your stocks and bonds 
or acres and cattle. 
Was it your son, father, who was growing up 
in your house, not home, and whose age you knew 
only approximately, and, could not tell if you 
were asked what grade he was in in school? 
Couldn’t you, at the same time, tell to a nicety 
of accuracy the ages and condition of all your 
hundreds of cattle and horses? The value of all 
your stocks and bonds? Which meant the most 
to you, your boys or your worldly gain? Which 
got the most painstaking care and considera- 
tion? What provisions did you make in your 
home for pleasant evenings, for the boy and 
girl? How many times have you been out to a 
clean place of amusement with them? How often 
do you know where they go and what they hear 
and see? What sort of a room has your boy? Is 
it the least pleasant room of the house? Is it fur- 
nished with cast off things from other rooms? If 
it is do you wonder that he does not want to invite 
his friends to see it or stay in it himself? Have 
you furnished willingly the things needed for 
enjoyment in his games? Do you direct his go- 294 
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ings intelligently and for his pleasure and good? 
Remember 
“A boy must go somewhere, and what if his feet, 
Sent out of the home, out into the street, 
Should slip around the corner and pause at the 
door, 
Where other boys’ feet have paused often before? 
Should step o’er the threshold of glittering light 
Where jokes told are many and songs that are 
bright 
Ring out a warm welcome with flattering voice 
And temptingly say, “here’s a place for the boys?” 
Oh, what if they should, what if your boy or mine, 
Should step o’er the threshold that marks out the 
line 
’Twixt virtue and vice, ’twixt pureness and sin 
And leave all his innocent boyhood within? 
Oh, what if he should, because you and I, 
As the days and the weeks and the months hurry 
by, 
Are too busy with cares and with life’s fleeting 
joys 
To make round the hearthstone a place for our 
boys?” 
Were they your girls, mother, who spent their 
evenings on the street or in cheap places of 
amusement with no responsible person to chap- 
eron them? Were they your girls who time 
after time were allowed to spend the night, pre- 
sumably with a girl friend of whom you knew WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
295 
little, and who with your daughters made ac- 
quaintances that were a menace to them ? 
Were they your girls who accepted invita- 
tions to automobile rides from strange young men 
and ignorantly entered places where their minds 
were clouded with the “harmless drinks” only to 
awake in the morning, ruined ? Is your house left 
unto you desolate ? 
One young man who had been allowed to 
grow to manhood ignorant of the pitfalls in his 
way was finally warned by his father just as he 
was leaving his home for his fight with the world. 
He was told of the diseases which a young man 
who went in at the doors of sin might bring upon 
himself and send down through the generations? 
Was it your boy, father, who turned on you with 
convulsed face, as you pictured the penalty at- 
tached to rioting and wantonness, with the terri- 
able accusation in his words, “You are too late, 
father! Just two years too late! I am already 
one of them. Why didn’t you tell me before? 
Why are fathers so afraid of talking to their 
sons? Whose fault is it if they go wrong when 
they know little of life and its perils?” 
These were the words of one son to his dere- 
lict father. Was it your boy, or was your boy like 
him? 
Was it your hoy’s teacher, mother, father, 296 
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who recognizing the fact that he was ignorantly 
going the way of greatest temptation called him 
into his office and talked with him as the parents 
should have long ago done? Did he tell your 
boy how easily he could sacrifice all that would 
make his after years happy and blessed, how he 
was imperilling his growth into the fine man he 
should become, how his influence was for the 
downward tending of his companions, and warn 
him how his life was sure to be a failure unless he 
made a decided turn for the better at once? Was 
this your son who turned upon the loved teacher 
with the angry retort, “Why don’t parents talk 
to their children about these things? What are 
fathers and mothers for if not to tell their boys 
what they ought to know? And why don’t teach- 
ers put something of the kind into our course of 
study? Why do they teach us everything save 
that which we most need to know?” 
Was it your girl who ran off at ten o’clock at 
night alone to a city forty miles away, because 
mother rebuked her for accepting the company 
of a young man whom she did not approve? Was 
it you who followed her to the city and mercifully 
found her safe at a friend’s? Were you put to 
the shame of having the story of your pretty 
runaway girl written up with all the vivid color- 
ing of the sensational story writer for the papers? WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
297 
Was it your daughter whose name and picture 
were added to make the story more vivid and did 
you suffer the humiliation of having her receive, 
as the result of the write up, over a hundred let- 
ters from wicked men and women who thought 
they saw their opportunity to mislead a foolish 
girl? 
Was it your daughter who answered a clev- 
erly written advertisement for helpers in a “very 
genteel institution,” with short hours and who 
was drawn into a trap set for her feet and was 
never again heard from? Was this the dear 
child you had not taught the things she should 
know and had never warned of the dangers of 
the cunningly worded lures to her destruction? 
If she was your daughter, or if you have girls 
whom you have not taught, parents, remember, 
if they come to grief, it is not their fault but 
yours, and all down through the years you will 
have to lament your delinquency in the training 
of your child? 
Was it your son who went the way of the 
wicked, ignorant of the penalty of a wise God? 
Was this your son who must look into the face 
of his sickly wife knowing, that she whom he had 
promised to love and protect, with her helpless, 
diseased, wretched children clinging to her gar- 
ments, was but reaping the harvest which he had 298 
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himself sown? Can you picture his agony as 
cursed with a lingering death, the direct result of 
his own folly and ignorance, he sees his stricken 
family, with the thought ever before him, “they 
too in turn will be sowing again what I have 
planted in their being, innocent victims of a guilty 
father?” 
Knowing all this will there be no remorse on 
your part that you did not know and did not 
teach your children as they should have been 
taught? Parents in this day and age are bound 
to know the things which will safeguard their 
children, and they are not in any measure ex- 
cusable if they do not inform themselves. Wrecks 
all along the shores of life are there because par- 
ents “did not know.” This should warn the 
fathers and mothers of this generation. 
Was it your daughter who came to her physi- 
cian for a bit of comfort when she was looking 
forward to a great sorrow in her life, the coming 
of a little one who would have no one to call fath- 
er, and who in after years would look into the 
face of the mother with accusing question which 
could not be answered? Was she yours; and 
could you guess the misery that was concentrated 
into the statement as she looked into the face of 
her “mother physician,” and said: “Doctor, I 
wouldn’t he here today a ruined girl, if mother WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
299 
had only told me. I didn’t realize what I was 
doing until it was too late; and oh, doctor, I don’t 
think I am all to blame; do you?” 
Was it your son who you allowed to take a 
paper route which called him into that part of 
the city “whose doors took hold on hell” and who 
was drawn into the haunts of vice and contami- 
nated in his innocent young boyhood? And who 
shall answer for this at the last day? 
Was that little messenger boy yours whose 
duty took him into saloons and houses of shame ? 
Did he fall in his young manhood and did he 
become a source of sorrow and shame to in 
your later years ? If so at whose door would the 
sin be laid, if rightfully placed? 
Was it your little child who was allowed to 
play with companions promiscuously, unwatched, 
and who contracted habits that have cursed his 
life and made him a care and sorrow to yourself 
as well as to all his associates? 
Was it you, mother, who gave your child such 
a passion for dress and outward adornment that 
it spoiled her life? Did you fail to teach her that 
the inward adorning was more than the outward ? 
Did you emphasize your teaching with an every 
day example? 
Did you lose the confidence of your little child 
early in its life when it came trustingly to you for 300 
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information which mother should give? Did you 
turn him away to evil companions for the knowl- 
edge he craved, because you preferred to have 
him get his education in the streets? First im- 
pressions are seldom effaced, and, if ever, at a 
fearful cost of prayer and time that could be 
given to growth in better things. 
Were you the fathers who failed to cast a vote 
against the evils in your community that were 
dragging down the boyhood and through them 
the girlhood of the city in which you live? Did 
you fail to cast your vote on the right side be- 
cause you were more bound to the dictates of 
your party than to your duty of parenthood ? Did 
you cheat yourself with the cunningly devised fa- 
ble that vice was “a necessary evil” and so must 
be legislated for instead of against? Did you 
vote to license the house of shame that sheltered 
the victims of man’s lust and which in turn proved 
a lure to your boy’s feet as he passed that way? 
Did your vote add one to the licensing of the 
saloon? Are you willing to indorse an institution 
that thrives on widow’s tears, mother’s heartaches 
and starving children? Did drink ever make anjr 
man better? Has it ever failed to arouse his 
lower passions? 
Did you, father and mother, fail to see your 
mighty power expressed by the ballot in closing WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
301 
the haunts and breeding places of sin and vice? 
Did you say ‘‘my vote would count only one and 
I cannot afford to sacrifice my party interests for 
one vote? Did party mean more to you than prin- 
ciple? If you plead guilty to these counts re- 
member that you can say little when your sons 
and daughters and the sons and daughters of the 
town go down to death through your negligence. 
Are you as parents concerned about the great 
slave market of the world which is sending re- 
cruiting agents out to supply the demand for 
chaste young womanhood at the rate of a hundred 
thousand per year ? This slave syndicate lurking 
in the darkest spots of cities buys and sells to the 
highest bidder the virtue of our girls. Do you 
realize that these same dark spots in turn draw 
from our boys the army which nightly people the 
houses of shame and go out to spread moral and 
physical disease among the innocent and pure? 
How long will public sentiment stand for this 
altar of man’s lust? Are you among the weak 
ones who say, “It is a necessary evil and cannot 
be suppressed.” The very term used stamps the 
lie, for if it is an evil it is not necessary. If it is 
necessary then be willing that recruits shall be 
drawn from your fireside as well as from your 
neighbors and hold that the occupants of these 302 
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palaces of guilt are public benefactors since they 
minister to a “necessity.” 
Such sophistry has no standing room. Hun- 
dred of thousands of men today who are bolster- 
ing up their depravity with such specious argu- 
ments are nothing less than criminals and should 
be so treated. Think of your splendid sons trained 
to believe they are excused from transgressions 
because they are men. Count the loss to our na- 
tion yearly of those who go down to death sacri- 
ficed through such teaching. Think of the stamp 
on thousands of the next generation. 
Think of these things, fathers and mothers, 
and join willingly the army of fighters for the 
virtue and salvation of our children. Every citi- 
zen owes to the community so much of service as 
his advantages, ability and power measure in the 
city or town of which he is a resident. If he does 
not pay it he goes out of the world a debtor to 
his kind and a defrauder of self. This is service 
which is cumulative in our own lives and souls. 
We rob ourselves when we rob the community 
and the great man or woman is the one who gives 
most of his kind, not in money but in service. 
“Not what we give but what we share, 
For the gift without the giver is bare. 
Who gives himself with his alms feeds three, 
Himself, his hungering neighbor and me.” WHERE DO BABIES GOME FROM? 
303 
Do you see moral educational needs in your 
community ? Are you devising methods to supply 
the need? Are you interested in your schools 
and do you visit them monthly or better, weekly ? 
It is a hazardous thing to trust your child to in- 
fluences and surroundings of which you are to- 
tally ignorant. You would not treat your cattle 
so and your children are worth more to you than 
these. 
The drunkard, the defective, the viciously dis- 
eased, the insane, the waifs thrown out on the 
world to suffer and die, the wrecks cast up from 
the floods of evil, all this great army of unfortu- 
nates needs protection and care. Hospitals, asy- 
lums, and prisons must be provided. Such in- 
stitutions, however, are not bettering matters. 
You must get back of the results. You must 
acquaint yourself with the causes and seek to 
remedy them. 
Education is that remedy. We must teach 
our boys and girls. Then and not until then will 
the conditions be changed for the better. Re- 
member the time worn maxims that “an ounce of 
prevention is worth a pound of cure” and that 
“one example is worth a thousand precepts.” 
Think of these things. 304 
THE PARENTS’ GUIDE 
A WOMAN’S ANSWER 
Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing 
Ever made by the hand above, 
A woman’s heart and a woman’s life 
And a woman’s wonderful love? 
Do you know you have asked for this priceless 
thing, 
As a child might ask for a toy, 
Demanding what others have died to win; 
With the reckless dash of a boy? 
You have written my lesson of duty out, 
Man-like you have questioned me; 
Now stand at the bar of my woman’s soul 
Until I shall question thee. 
You require that your mutton shall always be hot, 
Your socks and your shirts shall be whole; 
I require your heart to be true as God’s stars 
And as pure as heaven your soul. 
You require a cook for your mutton and beef; 
I require a far better thing. 
A seamstress you’re wanting for stocking and 
shirts; 
I look for a man and a king. 
A king for a beautiful realm called home, 
And a man that the Maker, God, 
Shall look upon as he did the first 
And say, “It is very good.” WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
305 
I am fair and young, but the rose will fade 
From my soft young cheek some day. 
Will you love me then mid the falling leaves, 
As you did mid the bloom of May? 
Is your heart an ocean so strong and deep 
I may launch my all on its tide? 
A loving woman finds heaven or hell 
On the day she is made a bride. 
I require all things that are grand and true, 
All things that a man should be; 
If you give all this, I will stake my life 
To be all you demand of me. 
If you cannot do this, a laundress and cook 
You can hire with little to pay; 
But a woman’s heart and a woman’s life 
Are not to be won that way. 
—Anonymous. 
HIS WORD 
Do I know that I’ve asked for the costliest thing 
Ever made by the hand above? 
Aye, well I know, and prize at full worth, 
A woman’s wonderful love. 
Else I had not bowed at your shrine, my queen, 
And given my heart’s full store; 
And all you would ask of the man you would bless, 
I would give, and prize you the more. 306 
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Did I seem to ask in a lightsome mood 
This priceless thing, as a toy, 
And appear to exalt the womanly gifts 
That make a man’s homely joy? 
Then forgive me, dear, these settings are rare, 
But not the gem I would buy 
With my heart’s best love and my soul’s full store; 
Nor would I their worth decry. 
As I came to you with these costlier things 
That money nor station can win; 
Yet I offered a home and enough for our wants, 
And asked you to enter in. 
Do you value me less, that I thought of these 
things, 
That make for the comfort and care 
Of the woman I love? Nay, ’twere wise and discreet 
That material things have their share. 
You look for a king, I seek for a queen 
To shine in the realm of home. 
Each doing a part of the rounded whole 
As neither could do alone. 
I do not seek a laundress and cook, 
But a sweet home-maker, my dear, 
And into her trusted eyes I would look, 
As into a fountain clear. That reflects the sun, and the moon, and the stars, 
Which give us their light for our way; 
So her soul must lighten my soul, dear one, 
And bring sunshine and warmth to my day. 
I ask for a heart and a soul that are pure, 
But I ask no more than I give. 
A man is a knave that demands a life 
That is purer than he would live. 
Your roses may fade, but your heart will be young, 
And I trust in the heart, not the rose; 
Its fragrance is lasting, its beauty enhanced 
From the May-day of life to its close. 
You may launch your all on the ocean tide 
Of my heart, and if shoals you discover, 
Pray trim your sails to the wider deeps, 
Till high tide the shallows will cover. 
—Emma F. A. Drake. 
WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM? 
307